Hauje, Kristine Lois D.

The Language of Silence

I have always been amazed that we humans can speak. I like that we can use our

voices in different situations. I like that the tongue is a powerful tool, and I believe that

learning to control it makes us more powerful. Everyone, whether given the chance or not,

wants to be heard. I want to be heard too. I am a talker. I love sharing what I know and how I

feel about things. Speaking is one of my strengths, but I have learned from a young age that

being silent is a strength, too. Being heard is a right that many people use, but being silent is

a right that only some use. Silence is a good thing too. It is a language that we all must learn

too.

My parents are missionaries. They also pastor a church in Pasig, and I have always

seen people come to our place for counsel and advice. Some of them come with the worst

problems ever, too sensitive to be shared to just anyone. Some tell them their deepest

thoughts, things they keep secret from others. I have always wondered why they choose to

tell my parents these things when they can tell their families or loved ones instead. Is it

because my parents are ministers, and it is their job to listen to people’s problems? Is it

because they give the best advice? As I grew up, I realized that it is not their title that draws

people to them. It is not because they give the best advice. They do not even have the

solution to all their problems, but people open up to them because they listen and keep silent.

They never disclose the things entrusted to them. People come to them in confidence and are

assured that they will not be judged, and that their secrets are safe. I know for a fact that my
parents have never gotten into trouble for sharing what was entrusted to them. Silence is a

language that builds trust.

One of the things I have observed is that we humans love to complain. We complain

about the smallest things. We complain when we see something we do not like. We complain

when things do not go our way. We complain when we are under pressure. We complain

when we experience hardships. Why do we always complain? Maybe it is just a natural

reaction. Maybe we are just using our right to speak out. Maybe we complain, because we

want change to happen.

As missionaries, my parents are expected to be open to cultural differences. My father

does not like spicy food, but when he went to India for a mission trip, he had to eat curry

everyday for a month. He does not like the cold weather, but he had to stay in China during

the winter just to teach in a mission school. My mom, when she went to Oro Province, Papua

New Guinea, had to walk for hours to preach from village to village, because there were no

vehicles available then. When she went to a village in Fiji, she had to dig into the ground,

because there were no toilets available. All these experiences can cause them to complain.

They are missionaries, but they are humans, too. They have all the right to speak out when

they are tired, or when they are not comfortable with certain things, or when they are tired

eating the same food over and over again, but they choose to keep silent. The language they

chose in response to all those situations has led them to gain good friends wherever they

went. They did not even have to speak some words from the people’s native tongue. By

embracing what was offered to them without complaining, they gained their hearts. Silence is

a language that gains the hearts of the people, regardless of race. It has the power to break

cultural barriers.
 My parents learned from their experiences to keep the right attitude. For them, it is

your attitude that will determine how far you will go in life. I used to complain about school

works all the time. It was always hard for me to finish a task without complaining, but that

changed when I learned the language of silence. Suddenly, studying was not a burden

anymore. It became something I enjoyed doing. I realized that it was not my situation that

was bad, but my attitude towards it. Complaining did not change my situation at all. I still

had to study, but learning to keep silent changed me. Silence is a language that shapes our

character.

I have learned from my parents to use not only my voice, but also my silence as a

language. The tongue may be a powerful tool, but the inability to control it makes us

powerless. Learning to keep silent means gaining power over our tongues. We do not always

have to speak out to be heard. Language is a powerful that causes change, and our silence is a

language loud enough to change our situations. Also, it is a language loud enough to change

us.