Initial kid entrance order (Check

off)

Chip Tolentino

Logainne Schwarzandgrubeniere

Leaf Coneybear

William Barfee

? Marcy Park

Olive Ostrovsky

1:

2:

3:

4:
Speech:  DCP,  Check  in  Audience,  Olive,  savings  bond,  already  
winners,  Panch  intro,  Pledge,  RUles  
Miss Logainne Schwarzandgrubenierre is  head  of  the  Gay-­‐Straight  alliance  at  
her  elementary  school.  

  -­‐watch  how  she  writes  on  the  forearm  

Mr. Coneybear was  second  runner  up  in  the  Putnam  basin  district.

Miss Ostrovsky came  in  second  in  her  school’s  Halloween  contest.    

  (My  friend  the  Dict)

Volunteer number one!

Volunteer number two!

[It’s Barfee] Mr. Barfee has  a  rare  mucus  membrane  disorder.    

  -­‐[One  moment  please]  Okay  watch  this  technique-­‐  He  calls  it  the  Magic  Foot,  and  he’s  
the  only  one…

Volunteer number three!

Miss Park is  new  to  our  county,  having  placed  Ninth  in  Nationals  last  year,  as  a  
representative  of  Virginia.    

  -­‐[Mr  Tolentino]  Slam  dunk  from  park!

[I only remember the top ten] Charlito “Chip” Tolentino is  a  little  league  pitcher  with  
a  wicked  22-­‐mile  an  hour  screwball.    

  -­‐[that  is  correct]  He  rallies  and  nails  it.  That’s  what  it  means  to  be  a  champion.  

(Pandemonium)

Miss Schwartzandgrubenierre has  proposed  a  constitutional  amendment  lowering  

the  voting  age  to  ten.  

Mr. Coneybear makes  his  own  clothes.  

  -­‐[would  you  like  to  forfeit  your  turn]  why  don’t  you  give  it  your  best  shot,  Mr.  
COneybear?    

  (Not  Smart)  

Possible Audience Volunteer



Miss Ostrovsky’s mother  is  currently  in  India  on  a  9-­‐month  spiritual  quest!  

(CHAMPION  STANDING  PART  and  boys/girls)  “ask  a  child  in  a  spelling  bee  if  they  expect  to  
win”    

  -­‐[word  would  be  silent]  You  still  need  to  speak  up,  Miss  Ostrovsky

Audience Volunteer (if still 2)


Mr. Barfee made  it  to  the  \inals  last  year  but  had  to  be  eliminated  for  health  

related  reasons.    

  -­‐[One  Moment  Please]  He’s  going  for  the  foot!

Audience Volunteer

Miss Park skipped  fourth  and  \ifth  grades.  She’s  on  track  to  become  the  youngest  high  
school  freshman  in  parochial  school  history.    

  -­‐[and  correct]  Miss  Park  is  all  business.  

  -­‐[My  turn  to  spell?yes]  A  rare  break  in  concentration  from  mr.  Tolentino.  

  -­‐[i’ll  take  my  turn  now]  another  excellent  decision  by  the  incumbent.  

Chip goodbye into Rona 2

Final Audience volunteer

Snack  break  offstage  after  comfort  counselor-­‐-­‐-­‐break  up  after  erection  (“hadn’t  
already  been  eliminated”  break  up—-­‐>take  off  after  “common  misperception”)  

back  onstage  “Olive-­‐  I  love,.  That’s  so  lame”  

Ladies and gentlemen, our final spellers! (homeschool- leaf,

intermittent sorrows- marcy, cold spring- barf, garrison- olive,
magna magnet- logainne)

Woe

montage,  coney  goodbye  Mr, Barfee has  a  sea  anemone  circus  in  his  basement.

Miss Park speaks  \ive  languages.    

  -­‐don’t  you  
   -­‐it  also  says  you  won  your  school’s  handwriting  competition  

-­‐ no  it  doesn;t  say  that  

-­‐ (6  Lang)  
  That  is  very  impressive-­‐  especially  the  piano.    

woe  is  me  rep—  Three  spellers  remain!!  

[dads  Ginal  three]  Ladies  and  Gentlemen  please  turn  off  all  cell  phones,  pagers,  and    

[entrance  fee]  Let’s  allow  it  this  once.  Miss  Ostrovsky’s  line,  Rona  speaking.  Just  one  
minute,  Logainne.  

[damn  word]  Principal  panch!  

[sluice]  That  is  correct.  What  is  wrong  with  you?  

[or  a  mother]  can  we  have  all  parents  in  their  seats  please.  This  is  not  a  soccer  game.  

[what  did  my  dad  say]  Oh  your  dad  says  he’s  running  late-­‐  and  he’ll  discuss  the  entrance  
fee  with  you  when  he  picks  you  up.  

I  love  you  Song  

[wash  off  foot  Girst]  Now,  william.  

[use  it  in  a  sentence]  “She  thought  she  was  walking  into  the  dawn,  but  it  turned  out-­‐  it  was  
the  crepuscule.  

WOe  Goodbye—  How  exciting!  

Rona  3  after  panch  speech  

[Thats  incorrect]  Now  remember,  no  speller  can  win  on  another  speller’s  mistake.  Mr.  
Barfee  must  spell  the  next  word  correctly  to  take  the  Putnam  bee.  d