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Final Draft Focused Revision Essay
Final Draft Focused Revision Essay
5/27/2019
Period D
Dear Grandma
Long time no see, grandma. Recently, grandpa has been opening up about how you
“You know. Your grandma. She was born in a small, poor village surrounded by layers
and layers of mountains. Any outside products and up-to-date ideas and education could hardly
get into that isolated village. I, on the other hand, had been to multiple cities to study and visit. ”
Grandpa sighed.
“Well, she knew what she was doing. Do you know that 20 years later, she bought a bus
ticket to downtown with a piece of luggage that was twice as big as her and took a train to
Shanghai where the economy was flourishing? That girl took a train by herself! And that’s where
I met her.” He smiled with his eyes zoning away and stopped at a point when he fell in love.
Aw! This was your love, Grandma. You never told me about this before.
‘Chuckled~’ “Back to the time when we were dating, she sensed that there could be tons
of valuable information on the economy and job opportunities in the local area. She noticed that
a lot of business managers were needed in the oil market which was a relatively new field. She
insisted on applying for that. As a young, beautiful woman in her twenties, she was passionate
and enthusiastic about her future. Coming with the ideal image was the lack of knowledge of the
unspoken rules in society. After she settled herself in a hotel, she rushed to the company which
posted the advertisement in the newspaper and asked whether she could set up a meeting with the
“Wow! I could never imagine that if I were her. She really was a tough woman. How was
“After tons of work she finished at the company, she never had that energy to talk with
me. We were hardly connecting anymore. When I was alone at home, I just stared at the blank
TV channel which had nothing new to report but how good Mao was. She always came home
after I went to bed and went out before I was even up. I sometimes stared at the grey ceiling,
thinking about the possible obstacles she would meet as a woman. My heart was broken.” ‘A few
tears came out of grandpa’s eyes.’ He turned his body and looked at me with desperate.
Look! Your beloved actually cared about you. Grandpa is not whom you always
talkative. Everything you did he knew. He is a living guideline of your exciting life.
“I also remember that she stood on her feet for 40 straight hours on a train just to get a
job interview. Whenever she wanted to take a nap, she only had some peace in her arms to rest.
And by the time she arrived in Shanghai train station, her feet were so red and swollen that she
couldn’t even put her shoes on. Man. I have no clue how a woman could endure the pain. Then,
she’d put on the nicest dress she had. It was the black one made of silk with a small, white plastic
lily in front of her right shoulder. She carefully took that white pearl necklace out of her jewelry
box and put it on her neck. Then she picked that pair of black leather shoes. Such a beautiful
woman. Just never had the time for family.” He sighed with appreciation.
“But that bastard… After the manager seated her and returned to his own spot, his eyes
were losing their way in the conversation, from her face to her lips and downwards. He had no
idea what she was talking and her compatibility with this job. His eyes were fixed on her breasts
and probably had plenty of thoughts of getting her into bed… Damn, She was smart. She
immediately knew what he was expecting and terminated it with a polite rejection.
… after she got into that company, her competitive personality came out; that’s also one
of her personalities that fascinated me. She gathered that meeting and… she didn’t realize that
the meeting was always the playtime for all these managers to brag and seek for a chance to
elevate their salary. Some men were smoking, others were just showing off how much they
contributed to this company. She was not a very big talker, so she just looked down on those
arrogant men and the room filled with the scent of cigars. She sneered. ‘The printed data is on
the table. You can grab one and see. By the end of the next month, our fund in the bank will
increase by a half. So if anyone of you could do what I did, I’m very welcome for the challenge.’
that was one of her life highlights that I wish I had a camera to record every second of this
scene.” Grandpa gave me a thumbs-up. His eyes were shivering his pride to know his wife.
“That’s quite a story. She was the REAL model of this family.”
“Of course, of course. The ending of that story is that after a year she worked for that
company, she became one of the board members. She was the one and the only female in this
company’s history to be on board. 5 years later, she took charge of the whole company and
I thought he was going to say something more, but this was it.
Grandma, you hear that? You are the absolute model and milestone to the family.
You are the rising flag of a new generation of woman. Your toughness not only changes
your own life but also passes down to me and changes me to become a better woman. Thank you
for building the foundation of this family. Wish you a good life up there!
Your beloved granddaughter
Sam