“Snatched” Full of Disappointing Clichés and Few Laughs

Before the start of “Snatched,” stars Amy Schumer and Goldie Hawn do a brief bit thanking the

audience for viewing their movie in the theatre, truly the best way to experience a film. I’d like

to send them a video asking for my money back. “Snatched” is better suited to bored late night

channel surfing than an $11.25 cinematic experience.

What may have been on ode to female empowerment falls flat, relying on clichés and

tired tropes. Playing mother and daughter, Hawn and Schumer rehash stereotypes of the lonely

divorced woman and self-absorbed millennial. The eternally youthful Hawn, 71, plays Linda, a

divorcee who has given up on love and lives for her kids – a woman who in her daughter’s words

does nothing more than “check the locks all day and change the kitty litter.” Linda lives alone

with her cats who have free reign of the house, happily walking on the dining room table. When

we first see Linda, she’s wearing a cat t-shirt, talking to her feline friends and reading an article

on how to cheer up a depressed cat (we have to wonder, “is it the cat who’s depressed?”). Linda

tries to write a Match.com profile, but can’t follow through. Her daughter Emily, played by

Schumer, is an irresponsible, tramp-stamped millennial who spends her time taking selfies so

people can see what an “interesting, fun life” she has.

The plot begins predictably – Emily is dumped days before a romantic getaway to

Ecuador. Her boyfriend accuses her of having no direction in life. He’s not wrong. She’s just

been fired from the Contempo Casuals style boutique where she spent most of her shift as a

salesgirl shopping for herself. Linda, learning about her daughter’s recently single status on

Facebook (where else?), posts the words of encouragement every woman with a ticking

biological clock longs to hear, “don’t worry, you still have two years left to find someone.”

Emily really needs this vacation.

 Struggling to find a friend to take the journey with her, Emily stumbles upon her mom’s

old photo album (filled with gorgeous pics of a young Goldie Hawn). Emily glimpses the fun,

vibrant woman her mom once was and invites her to come along. Linda’s not interested –

international travel is dangerous, and she’s got books to read. Plus “everyone knows you need at

least a year to plan a vacation.” Then she learns it’s non-refundable, and the ladies are on their

way.

Predictably, Linda has reason to worry. Not long after arriving in Ecuador, the women

are kidnapped by South American mobsters who demand ransom from Emily’s brother Jeffrey,

an agoraphobic man-child played by “The Mindy Project’s” Ike Barinholtz. Comedy is intended

to ensue, but many of the jokes in this ostensibly feminist film are insulting to women.

Schumer’s Rubenesque looks are often played for laughs with references to her “puffy face” or

“too heavy” physique. A Colombian bartender puts the women’s minds at ease when it comes to

being sold into sex slavery. It’s only the “young, beautiful” girls they want, after all. Clichéd

jokes like “you look great.”…”thanks, I got a tapeworm” fill up much of the tired dialogue. The

tapeworm scene alone is enough to drive even the most ardent feminist straight to the nearest

Michael Bay flick.

The males don’t fare much better. In nearly all cases, the men are inept – from the

adventure guide, played by Christopher Meloni (“I’ll go first because I’m the man”), to the state

department contact who can’t be bothered to leave his desk to the consulate worker, three-days

on the job who has yet to be trained on the phone system. He’d like to help Emily, but admitted

he “can’t be that dude.” He needs Emily “to be that girl who leaves before drawing any more

attention to the fact that I don’t know what I’m doing.” Ah, chivalry. And then of course, there

are the evil, incompetent Colombian mobsters. The film has actually been accused of racism for
its portrayal of the Colombians. They’re one-note villains – stupid and greedy, angry at tourists

like Linda and Emily who come to their country only to take but give back nothing. And Emily’s

brother Jeffrey is initially too frightened to leave the house to be of any help.

There is no Prince Charming to swoop in and save Linda and Emily. In fact, the film’s

supposed prince leads the women to their predicament in the first place. Clearly, it’s up to

mother and daughter to save themselves. And they do, repeatedly – with some assistance from

the scene stealing duo of Ruth and Barb (a delightful Wanda Sykes and hilariously silent Joan

Cusack). Barb, a former CIA special ops agent, cut off her tongue to prevent spilling secrets, but

her body language says plenty. Ultimately, the women save the day while the men repeatedly

come up short.

On the plus side, the film passes the sacred Bechdel Test. A film must have at least two

women who talk to each other about something other than a man, a seemingly low-bar that has

been surprisingly difficult for many films to meet. And we need to give the filmmakers credit for

featuring a women over 70 (!) in a leading role. Hawn makes 71 look good (I made mental note

that all of the sunscreen her character slathers on may be good idea).

But the film is a disappointing follow-up to Schumer’s 2015 “Trainwreck,” which

explored the challenges of relationships in the age of texting and swiping. Schumer’s flawed

character was relatable – a journalist with a varied love life, not afraid to go after what she wants,

but ultimately, unhappy. In the crude but clever “Trainwreck,” Schumer’s protagonist shows

growth, learning trust and self-acceptance. “Snatched” attempts a message – “girl power” – but

the women are too one-dimensional, and often unlikeable, for it to resonate.

Schumer’s built her brand on saying and doing the outrageous and not being afraid to

challenge the patriarchal world of stand-up comedy. She’s also been a powerful voice for
feminism, openly discussing female sexuality and addressing issues like sexual abuse in the

military. Her Comedy Central hit “Inside Amy Schumer” pushed limits with sketches like “12

Angry Men,” a parody where jurors deliberate whether Schumer is hot enough for TV.

I wish “Snatched” had some of that verve. This film just feels like a trainwreck.