Chapter One

~ ~
Brittany
(Eighteen years prior)

I jerked awake. My hand grasped my side, pushing hard

against the foot that resided there.
I rolled over, hoping gravity would dislodge the pressure.
The foot disappeared. Sighing deeply, my gaze roamed the
darkened room finally coming to rest on the burly figure next to me.
My husband’s wavy brown hair was a mixture of dark and sun kissed
hues. His peaceful face was a flawless canvas of sand colored skin.
My eyes roamed over the peaceful arc of his brow and his gentle
lashes resting against his smooth cheeks.
I felt a wave of love wash over me. I wanted to run my
fingers through his silky hair, but I refrained. There was no sense in
waking him over that.
Suddenly, a burst of pressure hit my rib. I gasped, my eyes
widening as the pain ached below my skin. Pushing slightly on my
rib, I felt another explosion and then another.
“Stop. Please stop.” I whispered a groan.
“Are you okay?” I was startled by the sudden sound of
Theron’s deep, groggy voice. I looked up to find his basil colored
eyes gazing at me with concern.
“I didn’t mean to wake you.” I lamented. Theron shook his
head dismissively and smiled. He slipped a hand beneath my shift
and rested his touch on my belly.
“Oh!” I jumped. His skin was ice cold from the chilly night
air. He retraced his hand.
 “Your hand is freezing.” He smirked and slipped his hand
back onto my belly. I held my breath, acclimating to the
temperature of his skin then relaxed with a sigh. The pounding
continued, but his chilled touch soothed the pain.
Theron smiled mischievously and began to caress along the
bottom of my ribs, freezing every nerve it touched.
“Aw…” I sighed. “That feels good.” His eyes closed, and his
body sagged against his pillow. His hand stopped and relaxed against
my body.
My eyes roved over the stubble on his chin and under his
nose. I admired his full arm and the way his chest muscles bunched
in contented sleep. He looked so cute and young for his age of forty-
five. Despite how confident and stern he may be at times, it was
moments like this that revealed deep down how loving and loyal of a
friend he was and how much he truly cared for those around him. I
rested my own hand on his and relaxed against my pillow.
Sometimes, there were no words for how lucky I had been to find a
man as handsome and dear as him.
Suddenly, a hard kick hit right beneath our hands. Theron
startled awake as I groaned.
“Is there anything I can do to help you feel more
comfortable?” He inquired. He rubbed his hand over my skin,
trying to lure our growing child to other more comfortable parts of
my stomach.
“That’s actually helping a lot.” I sighed as the pressure
against my ribs disappeared.
Theron pulled our cream-colored sheets down a few inches
to reveal the exposed skin of my belly and our hands. Suddenly, a
mound formed next to my belly button. It disappeared as quickly as
it came, then reappeared again a few inches to the right. I watched,
mesmerized, as my skin moved like the waves of the ocean.
 “That is so weird!” I whispered. Theron silently nodded his
head in reply.
Joy filled my heart as I watched him play with the little
person inside of me. His fatherly excitement showed in the creases
around his mouth and eyes. He looked at me and smiled a boyish
grin before looking back to the rippling movement of our child. My
heart swelled.
I had spent years of wading through self-discovery and trial
and error of the heart. I thought back on my past and felt a mixture
of regret, longing, love, and humor. I had wondered what my future
held, and I felt for the first time in my life, I was finally getting a taste
for what it could be.
This was what I wanted: the purpose a family brought and
the love and devotion it cultivated. I watched as my beloved
husband continued to poke my belly, eliciting more kicks. The little
game filled me with a burning love for him and the little
unsuspecting person growing within me.
I felt the tendrils of our growing love and belonging
wrapping around us and then slackening as if in a dance. I wanted
those tendrils to hold fast and to never let go. To bind us together as
a complete and whole family.
My eyes roamed over Theron’s distinct features.
He was so handsome. He had a debonair demeanor that
made my heart flip. I could see it in his astute eyes and the way he
held his molded lips. The scruff that filled in under his nose and
upon his chin was a shade of blond mixed with his natural tones of
brown. His dark eyebrows defined his gentle brow and made it
appear more angular.
“What are you thinking?” He asked without looking at me. I
smiled at the irony of being caught.
“You.” I frankly replied.
 Curiously, he pulled his gaze away from his game and gazed
into my eyes. “What about me?”
I could feel my cheeks heating. “I was just thinking of how
much I loved you.”
His mischievous smile pushed against his apple cheeks,
giving him the boyish look, I loved. He moved up towards me and
caressed my cheek with his hand. Then, slowly, he wrapped his
fingers in my hair and pulled my head toward his, planting his
shapely lips against mine.
My head spun as he held me there, my thoughts surging like
a flock of birds. The softness of his lips melted my fervid nature,
melting me into a puddle of ecstasy.
He pulled back, a moment too soon, and smiled
mischievously. “I love you too.”
“You’re going to be an amazing father, you know that,
right?”
He didn’t respond.
“Do you not believe me?” I felt concern prick my heart.
“Why do you believe I will be an amazing father?”
“Because you’re an amazing husband. You are kind and
love me so unconditionally. You’re always serving me and those
around you. You treat me like a queen.”
“You are a queen.” He smirked as a mirthful gleam twinkled
in his eyes.
“You know what I mean!” I pushed his shoulder playfully.
“You always treat me like a queen whether we are alone or not. I
always feel so completely loved and supported by you.”
Theron bent his head smiling and soaking in my words. I
waited for him to respond, but he didn’t. “I’m truly excited for you
to teach our child how to be self-confident just like you are. I’m
excited to see you love and hug him or her like you do me. I can’t
wait to see you play with them like you do Ari.”
“You want me to play with my children like they are dogs?”
I rolled my eyes at his quick wit.
“You’re impossible!”
Theron chuckled and hugged me to his chest. “You love me
for it, otherwise you wouldn’t have married me.”
I sighed happily and closed my eyes. My mind quieted,
allowing me to soak in the contented joy I felt in his arms. The
warmth of his body warmed my heart.
“You are so right.” I cooed.
“Well, I hope our child is beautiful or handsome, like his or
her’s mother. I wouldn’t want our children taking after their father
and looking like a toad.”
I guffawed. “You are no toad!”
Theron chuckled, and I knew he was teasing again. I sighed
and shook my head. He gently pushed my head back onto his
chest.“
“I love you.” He crooned.
“I love you too.” I tilted my head back to look up at him. He
inclined his head and kiss me tenderly on the lips.
Suddenly, warm liquid puddled between my legs. I shot up
in bed and tore the rest of the covers away from my body. A clear
wet patch of sheets lingered between my legs.
“Oh no!” I gasped as my stomach muscles suddenly
constricted.
“What’s wrong?” Theron cried. As he watched me squish
my eyes closed and cringe from the pain.
“I think…” The pain subsided a moment later. “I think my
water broke.”
 “What do you need me to do?” Theron was instantly on his
feet.
I processed my situation, then suddenly doubled over as a
new wave of sheer pain clenched my abdomen. “Aw!” I cried as
tears sprung to my eyes.
“Brittney!” Theron’s voice was stern with worry.
I gasped for air, trying to answer, but the words wouldn’t
come. Theron stalked over to his desk chair and grabbed his robe.
Quickly dawning it, he advanced towards the door and thrust it
open. The pain finally ebbed.
“Deacon!” Theron’s voice boomed down the darkened
hallway. A minute later, footsteps came scurrying down the corridor.
“I need Amethyst. Now!”
A new wave of electrifying pain surged through my body
causing me to cry out. The once scurrying footsteps instantly turned
into pounding as our warden ran for help.
Theron returned to my side. He gingerly perched on the
bed. “What can I do to help?” His eyes pleaded with me as the pain
subsided once more and my mind fell into a haze.
“Ha… ho… hold me.” I choked out as tears streamed down
my face. I felt him move his legs around my hips. His arms slipped
around mine and I leaned my head back against his shoulder. The
moment the pain hit, I gripped his arms like they were the only
things grounding me to the earth. I cried as time ticked on and the
pain worsened. Sweat began beading in my hair.
Just as I felt I was going to pass out, a curly blond-haired
woman in a grey poncho burst through the door, carrying a large
woven bag.
“I’m here, my queen!” She exclaimed while running to my
side and placing her bag on the bed. Lightly, she placed a hand on
my forehead and neck.
 “Deacon, I need cold cloths!”
I turned and found the white-haired man with a plump
countenance sanding by the door. He turned and poked his head
into the hall. I watched as he said his own commands to someone
outside the door. After a moment, he turned back and waited for
more commands.
I turned my attention back to Amethyst who was working
rapidly. “We’ll get your temperature down in no time, my queen.
Your pulse is strong.” She surmised, letting go of my wrist. “Can you
stand?”
I looked up at her panicked.
“You’ll have an easier pregnancy if you can stand.”
My dazed brain mulled over the hope of an easier
pregnancy, whatever that meant, and finally I nodded my consent.
Both she and Theron lifted me off the bed. Gingerly, they set me on
a pelt of bear fur that Theron had made only the summer before.
My knees felt weak.
“Your majesty.”
“Yes?” Theron quickly responded. His voice sounded deep
and husky.
“I want you to support her hips as she leans over the edge of
the bed like this.” Amethyst demonstrated the stance she wanted me
to take and I absent mindedly copied her. She quickly moved to my
rear and placed Theron’s hands on my hip. She gently pulled his
hands back, effectively demonstrating how she wanted him to
support my weight. She let go, but his hands remained.
Amethyst then knelt on the ground below me and peer up.
“My Queen, will you spread your legs further apart and begin
rocking side to side?” I grunted as I shifted my stance, completely
unaware to social norms and the awkwardness of the situation.
 “Has the pain subsided?” I nodded. “Good! When the pain
comes again, clench your muscles and push them down like you’re
trying to poop.” I smirked at the crude description. Amethyst
smirked back, knowing her humor had helped. “Push as hard as
you can for thirty seconds. Once the pain is gone, let go and rest.
We’ll repeat that until your baby is here.”
I nodded and whined as another wave of knife stabbing pain
shot through every nerve in my body. “Push!” Amethyst cried as she
put a heaping wad of cloth between my legs. The cream cloth
instantly began to turn red.
I counted to thirty in my head. Finally, the pain subsided. I
hung my head as the emotion of what I was doing flooded my
sanity.
“You’re doing great, Bri.” Theron cooed from behind me. I
wanted to smile at the use of his pet name for me, but instead tears
streamed down my face. Theron adjusted his hands firmer against
my hips.
I focused on trying to rock my hips, but my muscles ached
like a creaking-doors in need of oil. I suddenly felt Amethyst
pushing her way around my pelvis. “You’re getting there! You still
have a bit before your completely dilated, but you’re doing
wonderful my Lady.”
I clenched my eyes shut, hearing every explicative I knew
running through my mind.
Amethyst disappeared, and I allowed my eyes to wonder to
the towel of blood below me. I suddenly felt sick.
“My King, I need you to take one of your hands and place
this stone against the lower part of her back.”
I felt one of his hands slip away and was startled by a warm
object pressing against my lower back. The warm heat enveloped
my muscles, relaxing the tension within them. I sighed with relief as
Amethyst appeared below me once more.
Instantly, the soothing heat was replaced by searing pain.
“Push!” Amethyst cried. I began counting. One, Two,
Three, Four… Insanity began to set in. I can’t do this! I told myself.
“Keep pushing, my Queen! I see a tuff of hair!” My heart
leapt at the news. What color? How much!? The questions poured
forth filling my mind, but my teeth remained clamped shut against
the raging pain.
Time ticked by as I continued pushing and relaxing, fighting
for my child and my sanity. Amethyst massaged my muscles, helping
the little head to find its way into the world.
Strips of morning sunlight streaked the white covers before
me. We had made it to morning. Fourteen, fifteen, sixteen…
Suddenly, the pain was gone.
“The head is out!” Amethyst cried.
Instantly, pain shot through my body again. My eyes bulged
in panic. “Don’t worry.” Amethyst crooned. “Now we need to get
the shoulders out.”
I sucked in a breath of air and pushed. It took three more
tries and then the pain left like a summer storm. I gasped with relief.
I watched as Amethyst delicately wrapped my baby in a
blanket. Suddenly, I was hit with another contraction.
Startled, Amethyst called for Deacon and handed my child
to him. She returned and gently reached up into me.
“I feel another!”
“What!?” I heard Theron cry. I was glad one of us could
speak for I was in shock.
“My Lady.” Amethyst peered up at me with imploring eyes.
“I need you to push.” I closed my eyes and cemented my resolve. I
can do this! I bellowed within my mind. I focused on where I would
feel Amethyst working to extricate my child.
The second birth was quicker than the first. I was relieved.
Once my second child slipped into the world, a musical cry broke
the morning.
Amethyst’s crystal eyes beamed at me with satisfaction.
“Well done, my Queen!”
I panted in response. My legs felt rooted to the ground like
numb stumps holding me up.
“My King, can you lift her and put her in bed?” Amethyst
inquired as she wrapped our child in a second blanket. I felt Theron
gingerly loosen my fingers on the mattress and skillfully recline me
back into his arms where he lifted me into his chest and walked me
around the bed. Every muscle in my body screamed as I moved, but
my mind was dull. Only snippets of sensations could overwhelm my
brain.
Gently, he placed my head on the pillow and my body
followed. Two youth castle attendants appeared from the hallway
bearing more blankets. I watched as Amethyst directed them over to
my side of the bed. The blond haired, delicately featured girl placed
the immaculately folded blanket in her hands under my hips while
Theron lifted my lower body.
A tall, sinewy boy lifted my back and placed a hot blanket
beneath it. The heat instantly soothed most of my pain. I smiled
gratefully at the youths before they disappeared out of the room.
Theron finally covered me with our bed covers, tucking them in on
the sides. When he was done snuggling me in, he caressed the
sweaty hair out of my face.
“You were magnificent!”
 “Thank you.” I croaked. I smiled at him for a moment
longer then turned to Amethyst and Deacon. I found them cuddling
my children in their arms.
“They are girls!” Amethyst cried with pure joy.
My heart swelled at the news. I reached my arms out to my
bundled babies, feeling fresh tears prick at my eyes. Amethyst
quickly brought my crying child to me.
“Two girls!” I heard Theron’s shocked whisper next to my
ear. I slumped into him, as Amethyst placed my second child into
my arms. I leaned her belly into my chest and immediately her
mouth began searching for nourishment.
“My Lady, would you like to try feeding her?”
I nodded happily to Amethyst who immediately moved
forward to help me. She directed and guided me until my child was
happy and comfortable.
“Where is my first?” I looked to Deacon expectantly.
“Theron, wouldn’t you like to hold her?” I glanced up at my
husband to read his face. When he didn’t respond in any way, I
looked back at Deacon whose pudgy face had gone ashen white.
Tears were streaming down his round face, and suddenly I knew
why Theron had remained silent. Something was wrong.
My heart leapt with panic. “What’s wrong, Deacon!?”
Amethyst cautiously sidled up to Deacon and carefully
removed my baby from his arms. His head hung as his arms
dropped to his sides.
My heart froze in suspended movement and my breath
caught as Amethyst moved toward Theron and I.
“She is gone, my Lady.”
Time froze as my heart shattered into a million pieces. Tears
sprung to my eyes as a cry of pain whimpered from my lips. My
feeding daughter wiggled, then continued feeding. Theron sat stiffly
next to my side not making a peep as I sat crying next to him.
“N… NO!” I stuttered through hiccupping breaths. I reached
out towards Amethyst with my free arm. She stepped forward and
sat upon the bed with our first child wrapped in cloth.
“My King, would you like to hold her?” Amethyst looked up
at Theron with a tentative expression. Slowly, Theron reached out
and wrapped our first child into his arms. He collapsed back against
the pillows and began quietly crying next to me.
I looked to find her crystal white and beautifully still in
death. Her delicately smooth features were almost picture perfect
minus the red marks around her neck.
“She was strangled.”
“How!?” I demanded as I fingered the marks.
“There’s a cord that I have to cut from their bellies. It is
what connects them to their mother. It feeds them the food you eat
among other necessary functions. I didn’t see it around her neck
when she came out, so it must have been sometime before you gave
birth.”
My heart wrenched nearly out of my chest.
“My poor baby.” I sobbed as I ran my fingertips over her
ashen skin. It was cold to the touch.
“My poor, poor baby.”
Theron began rocking her silently while tears poured down
his face. A moment later he buried his face in her tiny corpse. I laid
a hand on his shoulder wishing I could take away the pain and the
horrible situation but feeling just as trapped and torn asunder as he
was displaying.
I looked down at my second daughter for solace. Her
creamy pink eyelids were closed, and her puckered little lips were
sucking as she contentedly slept. Hot tears scorched my eyes as a
wave of gratitude mixed with unrelenting pain washed over me.
She will grow up without a sister. If she had been the only
one like we originally planned, this wouldn’t really be an issue.
What if she hadn’t of come and this happened with only her sister
present? A stab of fear and gratitude hit me. What if they both had
come out dead? I didn’t want to think about it. I couldn’t imagine
feeling more pain then what I was already feeling.
I fingered her delicate little fingers and listened as she cooed
in her sleep. I instantly reached over to my first daughter and found
her own long and thin little fingers and senselessly, silently begged
her to coo as well. She didn’t.
I looked back to my second daughter, nestled in my arms
and thanked her for being alive. She was beautiful with rosy cheeks
plump lips. A sheen of reddish-gold hair blanketed the top of her
head and curled about her delicate face.
The two sisters looked almost identical except for the peach
colored skin verses the ashen white tones of her sister. They both
had narrow chins, plump lips, and a button nose.
My heart pumped honey and arsenic.
“I can’t believe she’s gone.” I whispered against my
husband’s shoulder. He nodded in reply. I studied his face and
found vacancy riddling his eyes and grief-stricken lips.
“What do you want to name her?” I whispered in an attempt
to pull Theron back to me.
There was a pause and then he lifted his head. He looked as
if he were a lion waking up from a nap. “I don’t know.” He replied
in a gravelly voice. I sat in silence for a moment. Suddenly, it came
to me like a whisper out of the darkness.
“Would you like to call her Stephanie?"
“Stephanie," Theron breathed. “I’d like that.”
 “How about Stephanie Rose?” I pursued hopefully.
Theron smiled at the idea. “That’s beautiful.”
“I think so too.” I smiled back. I watched as he cradled
Stephanie like she was a precious ruby.
Memories of my hopes from earlier this morning came
trickling back in acidic streams. He won’t be able to teach Stephanie
how to love and change the world despite its flaws, but… I looked
down at my sleeping daughter, noticing the rise and fall of her tiny
chest. But he can love and teach our other precious child to be the
brave little princess she is despite what the world throws at her.
Suddenly, I felt an arm wrap around my shoulders.
“She is beautiful, isn’t she?” I heard Theron’s deep voice in
my ear. I nodded, then looked up to find him smiling a faintly at
me. I smiled back.
“Yes, she is.”
“I’m grateful she’s alive.” He whispered as another wave of
pain washed over him.
“Me too.” I snuggled into his chest.
“What would you like to call her?” He weakly inquired.
“How about you name her this time.”
Theron relaxed against the headboard with Stephanie
clutched in his lap. I looked down at our sleeping daughter and felt
her warmth and the softness of her muscles in my arms. Peace
finally broke through the storm of grief as I soaked in her living,
breathing, sweetness.
“What about Talia? Talia Rae?”
I looked up at Theron in surprise. “I love it.” I smiled as I
felt satisfaction warm my writhing heart. “I love you.” I sighed as I
felt fresh tears brimming at my eyes.
Theron wrapped his arm tighter around me. “I love you
too.”
 I looked down at Talia and then looked at Stephanie. A
fierce strength arrested my heart. I loved my little family more than
life itself. I was surprised by the iron cords that seemed to bind
Theron and myself to our two little girls. We were a family. Holding
them here in our arms, we were whole. I gazed at Stephanie’s
lifeless face and prayed her soul to return. Instead tiny little arms
wrapped around my heart. The pounding muscle shook my chest
like a battle ram against a portcullis.
I closed my eyes and felt more acutely the pulse of a voice in
my mind.
Mommy.
Yes, my baby!
I’m here.
Don’t leave me. Don’t leave us!
You all will see me again.
When?
Soon.