Conflict Management

CONFLICT MANAGEMENT
COM 3326
TOPIC
INTERPERSONAL SKILLS IN
RESOLVING CONFLICT
PREPARED BY
NUR HIDAYAH SAFARUDIN
hidayahsafarudin@segi.edu.my
PREPARED BY NUR HIDAYAH SAFARUDIN 1

CONTENTS
A. Relationship Between
Communication and
Conflict
B. Develop Listening Skills
for Conflict Resolution
C. Responses to Conflict

A. RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN
COMMUNICATION AND CONFLICT
DEFINITION
WHAT IS CONFLICT?
Conflict has been defined as
"an expressed struggle
between interdependent
parties who perceive
incompatible goals, scarce
resources, and interference."

DEFINITION
WHAT IS CONFLICT?
• Conflict exists with incompatible
goals.
• More than a mere disagreement
or difference in goals,
incompatible goals means both
cannot be satisfied.
• You want to watch baseball, but
your roommate wants to watch
Survivor.

DEFINITION
WHAT IS CONFLICT?
• Conflict arises in the perception
that resources are scarce.
• If you have an abundance,
there is no need to fight about
something.
• Commonly perceived scarce
resources are money, time,
power, and space.
DEFINITION
WHAT IS CONFLICT?
• Conflict also includes interference.
• Even if you disagree and have opposing goals about
something, you only have genuine conflict when you act in
ways that prevent each other from achieving your goals.
• If your spouse spend more than she can afford, you might
disapprove, but you only have conflict when you step in
and provide interference.
• This can come in the form of complaining about his habit to
him.
CHARACTERISTICS OF
CONFLICT
DIRECT
• Many people deal with their
conflict directly through
verbal expression.
• When there is
disagreement, it comes out,
usually in argument form.

CHARACTERISTICS OF
CONFLICT
DIRECT
• Addressing conflict directly
can lead to emotional
escalation and an increase
in seriousness of the
conflict, while it can also
lead to a quicker resolution.

CHARACTERISTICS OF
CONFLICT
INDIRECT
• It can also come out
indirectly, or passive-
aggressively, through
vengeful or hurtful behaviors
toward the other.
• For example, Sue is angry
with her roommate for
smoking, so she refuses to
clean the house.
CHARACTERISTICS OF
CONFLICT
INDIRECT
• Indirect expressions of
conflict may be easier and
more comfortable, but can
also leave the conflict
unresolved for a longer
time.

EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION VS.
CONFLICT
• Conflicts run all the way from minor,
unimportant differences to disputes
which can threaten the existence of
a relationship.
• Conflicts with a loved one or a long-
term friend are, of course, different
from negotiating with someone who
does not care about your needs, like
a stranger or a salesperson.

USING EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION TECHNIQUES TO
REDUCE CONFLICT
THE DEFUSING TECHNIQUE
• The other person might be angry and may come to the
situation armed with a number of arguments.
• Your goal is to address the other’s anger – and you do
this by simply agreeing with the person.
• When you find some truth in the other point of view, it is
difficult for the other person to maintain anger.

REDUCE CONFLICT
THE DEFUSING TECHNIQUE
• For example, “I know that I said I would call you about
cancelling the club meeting yesterday. You are
absolutely right. I wish I could be more responsible
sometimes.”
• The accusation might be completely unreasonable from
your viewpoint, but there is always some truth in what
the other person says.
USING EFFECTIVE
COMMUNICATION TECHNIQUES
TO REDUCE CONFLICT
EMPATHY
• Try to put yourself into the
shoes of the other person.
• Empathy is an important
listening technique which gives
the other feedback that he or
she is being heard.
USING EFFECTIVE
TO REDUCE CONFLICT
EMPATHY
• Thought Empathy gives the
message that you understand
what the other is trying to say.
• For example, “I understand you to
say that your trust in me has been
broken in this friendship.”
USING EFFECTIVE
TO REDUCE CONFLICT
EMPATHY
• Feeling Empathy is your
acknowledgment of how the other
person probably feels.
• For example, “I guess you
probably feel pretty mad at me
right now.”
USING EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION
TECHNIQUES TO REDUCE CONFLICT
EXPLORATION
• Ask gentle, probing questions about what
the other person is thinking and feeling.
• Encourage the other to talk fully about
what is on his or her mind.
• For example, “Are there any other
thoughts that you need to share with
me?”
REDUCE CONFLICT
USING ‘I’ STATEMENT
• Take responsibility for your own thoughts.
• This decreases the chance that the other person will
become defensive.
• For example, “I feel pretty upset that this thing has come
between us.” This statement is much more effective than
saying, “You have made me feel very upset.”

B. DEVELOP LISTENING SKILLS
FOR CONFLICT RESOLUTION
LISTENING VS. HEARING
• Someone rightly said,
“Hearing is through ears,
but listening is through the
mind.”
• The two activities hearing
and listening involve the
use of ears, but they are
different.

LISTENING VS.
HEARING
• Someone rightly said,
“Hearing is through
ears, but listening is
through the mind.”
• The two activities
hearing and listening
involve the use of ears,
but they are different.
ACTIVE LISTENING
• Active listening is a set of techniques
designed to help you hear and
understand what someone else is
saying and to help the speaker express
him/herself clearly.
• Active listening focuses on both facts
and feelings, reduces tension and
defensiveness, and allows conflicts to
be resolved more effectively.
ACTIVE LISTENING
SKILLS MEANING PURPOSE
Encourage • To show verbal or nonverbal • To encourage the person to
signs of interest. continue talking.
Question • To ask the speaker questions. • To gather more information.
• To check out the accuracy of what
you have heard.
Restate • To repeat in your own words • To show you have heard and
the main facts and issues. understood.
• To check the meaning and
interpretation of what you have
heard.

ACTIVE LISTENING
SKILLS MEANING PURPOSE
Reflect • To feed back the • To show you understand the feelings
emotional part of the behind what is being expressed.
message. • To help the person evaluate and
understand his/her own feelings.
Summarize • To make a brief but • To pull together the important issues
complete statement that and feelings.
captures the essence of
the speaker's
perspective.
Validate • To acknowledge a • To recognize the value of the person's
person's worth, effort perspective and feelings.
and feelings. • To show appreciation for the speaker's
efforts
PREPARED BY NUR HIDAYAH at communication.
SAFARUDIN 24
ACTIVE LISTENING
BOTTOMLINE
• Active listening can help you
diffuse conflict.
• Although you may not always
agree with others’ opinions, it’s
important to be open to the
experiences and perspectives of
your peers, and the best way to
demonstrate this is through active
listening. PREPARED BY NUR HIDAYAH SAFARUDIN 25
ACTIVE LISTENING
BOTTOMLINE
• Conflict between two
parties can make people
defensive, but if a person
feels that their concerns
are being listened to and
taken seriously, the
chances of landing a
resolution is high.
ACTIVE LISTENING
BOTTOMLINE
• If both parties feel that their point
or stance is clearly understood,
the resolution is likely to be longer
lasting.
• It may also encourage workers to
speak regularly and openly about
conflict, resulting in a more
transparent communication.
C. RESPONSES TO CONFLICT
HOW WE RESPOND TO CONFLICT
EMOTIONAL RESPONSE
• These are the feelings we
experience in conflict, ranging from
anger and fear to despair and
confusion.
• Emotional responses are often
misunderstood, as people tend to
believe that others feel the same
as they do.
HOW WE RESPOND TO
CONFLICT
COGNITIVE RESPONSE
• These are our ideas and thoughts
about a conflict, often present as
inner voices or internal observers
in the midst of a situation.
• Through sub-vocalization (i.e. self-
talk), we come to understand
these cognitive responses.
HOW WE RESPOND TO CONFLICT
PHYSICAL RESPONSE
• These responses can play an important role in our ability
to meet our needs in the conflict.
• They include heightened stress, bodily tension,
increased perspiration, tunnel vision, shallow or
accelerated breathing, nausea, and rapid heartbeat.
• These responses are similar to those we experience in
high-anxiety situations, and they may be managed
through stress management techniques.
EXERCISE
TUTORIAL 3
1. Conflict is an expressed struggle
between interdependent parties
who perceive incompatible goals.
Explain.
2. What is the difference between
direct conflict and indirect conflict?
3. ‘Most people do not listen with the
intent to understand; they listen
with the intent to reply’. Explain.
EXERCISE
TUTORIAL 3
Your roommate has a part time job and gets home around
midnight on Thursday nights. She often brings few friends from
work home with her. They watch television, listen to music, or
play video games and talk and laugh. You have an 8 a.m. class
on Friday morning and are usually asleep when she returns.
Last Friday, you talked to her and asked her to keep it down in
the future. Tonight, their noise has woken you up and you can’t
get back to sleep. In your opinion, how would you response
( choose 1 : emotional / cognitive / physical response )?
Give 3 reasons why.

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