1

Excellence in Aging; For Men.

Introduction i
Twelve Strategies.
Strategy # 1: Wake Up, You’re Dying. 2
By Claude Steiner PhD
Strategy # 2: Plan To Live Long and Well 6

Strategy # 3: Let Go. 10

“…they say in the end, it’s the wink of an eye…” Strategy # 4: Love Is The Answer. 14
Jackson Browne
Strategy # 5: Eliminate Hatred. 18

Strategy # 6: Master Your Domain. 22

Strategy # 7: Don't Groan When You Sit Down. 26

Strategy # 8: Sex: Keep It Up As Long As You Can. 30

Strategy # 9: Surround Yourself With Youth. 34

To the men in my life
Strategy # 10: Wisdom: Shut Up And Learn. 38

Strategy # 11: Master Imperfection. 42

Strategy # 12: Transcendence. 46

Copyright  2008 Berkeley, CA. End Notes 50

Registered with the IP Rights Office
Copyright Registration Service #272736403"

2

Introduction
In 2005, on my 70th birthday, I announced to a
gathering of my family and friends my intention to live
ten thousand more days—to age one hundred.
I first considered making such a resolution in 1971 when
I was 36 and my mentor, Eric Berne, died at the
alarming age of 60. Eric, a renowned psychiatrist and
author had said people choose their life scripts and
hinted that he would die at the same age as his mother;
He died almost exactly on schedule. I became aware
that I had a plan to die right before the dawn of the third
millennium which I suddenly realized meant dying at 65.
I decided then I must change this life script and when my
70th came, I had gotten used to people telling me how
they marveled at my apparent vigorous age.
I am helped by longevity genes from my parents, but
anyone can choose to live well for however long as their
genetic make-up will allow, and they can do so by
cultivating themselves in profound and fundamental
ways.
My principal purpose in writing this book is to direct the
reader's attention to important but seldom discussed
issues related to men’s aging. I am speaking primarily to
what one might call the spiritual, mental aspects of
aging. Regarding the physical, I will assume that you are
adequately informed about the latest, readily available
knowledge regarding th importance physical exercise
and diet in aging. Here, we will discuss the inner work
that can enable a man to enjoy a healthy body and an
open heart as he ages.
.
It goes without saying that with these writings I am
attempting to illuminate my own path. Doing so has
helped in many ways. Still, I have been reminded that, at
times, I fail to follow my own advice, I am hoping to be
allowed the time to eventually do so. All I can say is that,
however imperfectly, I strive to practice what I preach. If
there is a virtue to this work it is the specific selection of
strategies and the brevity of their presentation. Eric
Berne’s Transactional Analysis, Vipassana Meditation,
and the Kundalini Chacras. have informed my life in
dramatic ways which I will illustrate.
Why do I write this book especially for men? Men and
women are different and age differently; physically,
sexually and emotionally in ways that significantly impact
their vitality and awareness. Hence I’ve chosen to focus
on men’s issues.Is this book for you?. Not everyone is
ready. You may or may not be.
3

On my 70th birthday in 2005 I resolved to attempt to live
ten thousand more days—to age one hundred—every
day as if it was my last and committed to living the sort
of life that would facilitate that centenarian outcome.
My principal purpose in writing this book is to direct the
reader's attention to important but seldom discussed
issues related to men’s aging. The factors that affect
aging favorably are amply discussed elsewhere. Every
centenarian has a formula for longevity, from a daily
ounce of whisky or gram of bee pollen, to never eating
broccoli. Many centenarians mention love and/or faith as
a factor. Basically, Harry Truman had it roughly correct
when he advised: "Pick the right grandparents, don't eat
or drink too much, be circumspect in all things and take
a two mile walk every morning before breakfast." I will
assume that you are adequately informed about the
latest, prevailing wisdom regarding physical exercise,
diet, antioxidants and all the physical facts of aging. For
those who are not well acquainted with that information I
provide an annotated bibliography
. men’s issues.
It goes without saying that with these writings I am
seeking to illuminate my own path. Writing this -i-
book has been helpful to my progress on this arduous
road. Still, I have been reminded that, at times, I fail to
follow my own advice, specifically regarding anger. In
addition I have much to learn about the final strategy—
transcendence and spirituality—and I am hoping to be
allowed the time to do so. All I can say is that, however
imperfectly, I try to practice what I preach.
If there is a virtue to this work it is the specific selection
of strategies and the brevity of their presentation. I will
make reference to three realms of knowledge: Eric
Berne’s Transactional Analysis, Vipassana Meditation,
and the Kundalini Chacras. Each of these systems has
informed my life in dramatic ways, which I intend to
illustrate.
Why do I write this book especially for men? Men and
women are different and age differently in important
ways; physically, sexually and emotionally, at the very
least. From my experience, in addition, life affects men
differently than women in ways that significantly impact
their vitality and awareness. Here I want to focus on
Is this book for you? I notice that men in the over-sixty
zone will either read it eagerly or turn away from it right
away. Not everyone is ready. You may be. –ii-
4
 Strategy # 1
Wake Up, You’re Dying
Lets begin by accentuating the negative. Do not despair;
this book is about the good news, which will come later.

For years you may have known, with your rational mind,
that you will eventually die. You may believe that you
have made peace with the fact, but inevitably the wake-
up call, that sudden, gut realization that it’s actually true:
that you will die, will likely shake you to your roots.

The deepest, for some, terrifying awareness of the

certainty of death is a watershed event in a person’s life.
For some it comes as early as childhood. The rest of us,
to our temporary peace of mind and possible eventual
detriment, seem to want to avoid that awareness for as
long as possible. Unless we are unexpectedly, suddenly
killed by a bullet or truck, we will sooner or later realize,
sometimes just a few days, hours or minutes before our
last breath, that Death is nigh.

People who narrowly escape death and are given a

reprise have long remarked on this fact: after a near
Albrecht Durer
-1- brush with death, life takes on new meaning and glitter.
This book is about the time between the existential -2.

5
 Strategy # 1
Wake Up, You’re Dying
Lets begin by accentuating the negative. Do not despair;
this book is about the good news, which will come later.

For years you may have known, with your rational mind,
that you will eventually die. You may believe that you
have made peace with the fact, but inevitably the wake-
up call, that sudden, gut realization that it’s actually true:
that you will die, will likely shake you to your roots.

The deepest, for some, terrifying awareness of the

certainty of death is a watershed event in a person’s life.
For some it comes as early as childhood. The rest of us,
to our temporary peace of mind and possible eventual
detriment, seem to want to avoid that awareness for as
long as possible. Unless we are unexpectedly, suddenly
killed by a bullet or truck, we will sooner or later realize,
sometimes just a few days, hours or minutes before our
last breath, that Death is nigh.

People who narrowly escape death and are given a

reprise have long remarked on this fact: after a near
Albrecht Durer
-1- brush with death, life takes on new meaning and glitter.
This book is about the time between the existential -2.

5
 Strategy # 2
Plan to Live Long and Well
It turns out that 100 years, give or take a few, is a
lifespan that can be achieved with proper planning and
luck. Beyond that, statistical life expectancy at age 100
is a mere two years. A hundred years amounts to thirty
six thousand five hundred days; a reasonable goal to try
to achieve.

"Each person decides, early in childhood, how he

will live and how he will die, and that plan which
he carries in his head wherever he goes is called
his script."
Eric Berne MD

People often, early on, design their life's narrative,

complete with life span. Just as children persuade
themselves that they will grow up to be firemen, nurses,
lawyers, doctors, engineers or soldiers they can equally
decide that they will be lovers, haters, doers, observers,
builders, destroyers, winners or losers, long or short-
lived, Apollonian or Dyonisian. Once selected, these
William Blake prophecies tend to fulfill themselves. –6-
-5-

7
 Strategy # 2
Plan to Live Long and Well
It turns out that 100 years, give or take a few, is a
lifespan that can be achieved with proper planning and
luck. Beyond that, statistical life expectancy at age 100
is a mere two years. A hundred years amounts to thirty
six thousand five hundred days; a reasonable goal to try
to achieve.

"Each person decides, early in childhood, how he

will live and how he will die, and that plan which
he carries in his head wherever he goes is called
his script."
Eric Berne MD

People often, early on, design their life's narrative,

complete with life span. Just as children persuade
themselves that they will grow up to be firemen, nurses,
lawyers, doctors, engineers or soldiers they can equally
decide that they will be lovers, haters, doers, observers,
builders, destroyers, winners or losers, long or short-
lived, Apollonian or Dyonisian. Once selected, these
William Blake prophecies tend to fulfill themselves. –6-
-5-

7
A life-script will be reflected in its author's everyday
behavior. The person who has taken on the narrative of
life-long depression will choose friends and partners that
are congruent with that life style. He will gravitate toward
people who will depress him with their actions or other
depressed people who will agree that "life is hell and
then you die." People who choose a peaceful narrative
will associate with like-minded, non-violent people; and
these non-violent people will be shunned by those who
choose a narrative of violence.
Similarly, when planning for a short or long life we
choose our activities, foods and “games” to fit the plan.
Life scripts will be embodied in our daily relationships
and in every action we take, often evident to the trained
eye. Its as if people wear their existential mottoes on
their sweatshirts: "Winner," "Loser," "I’m With Stupid,"
"Trust me" or "Live Today" in front, and "Sucker," or "Die
Tomorrow" on the back, for everyone to see.
Scripts will tend to persist but they are optional, and the
harmful ones can be re-decided later in life, when the
conditions that caused us to choose them when we were
young, change. The show can be "closed and a better
one put on the road," Berne said. Changing one’s script
is achieved by deciding to do so and then, most
importantly, applying the changes we decide to make to
our daily relationships and behavior. Life is a –7-
long string of human exchanges. As a transactional
analyst, I believe that interactions between people,
transaction-by-transaction, determine the quality of their
lives. The sure fire method of changing our life is to
change the way we interact. Change your interpersonal
behavior and, if needed, change the people you interact
with and your life as well as your life- span will change
Short life or long life? To a large extent it's up to you.
Please don't misread what I am saying as a variant of
the periodically popular nonsense: "you are in control of
everything that happens," "if you want to be rich the
secret is to visualize being rich" or “whether you live long
or die young is entirely your decision.”
Clearly, it is easier to live longer next to a California
redwood forest surrounded by healthy, happy people
than over a toxic dump in the midst of poverty and crime.
Few people have the luxury of choosing exactly where
and how to live; what choices do you have? For those
who are interested in a long and happy journey, the
important thing is to plan to inhabit such a long life,
pursue the strategies suggested here and then trust that
the plan will become reality.
“Do not go gentle into the good night,” Dylan Thomas
admonished his father. “Rage, rage against the dying of
the light.” Plan to live long and well, I say. –8-
8
An intelligent person would not choose to invest in a
declining asset; yet we do invest in our declining lives
because of those valuable, hidden promises—love,
wisdom and transcendence—that can be achieved. In
fact investing in life is an obvious and intelligent choice
because the alternative will result in bitterness,
depression, hopelessness and, arguably, an early death.
As we strive to age gracefully some of us will notice that
we look and feel younger than our age mates. It’s
tempting to take pride in this and feel superior and self-
satisfied. Insofar as we age well due to our genetic
inheritance, the more appropriate response might be
gratitude—and compassion for those not so lucky. We
can take satisfaction in the health that we enjoy due to
our own efforts but it’s important to remember that aging
fundamentally entails loss, and that pride comes before
the fall. Hubris—pride—is a common mistake of the
powerful, known through the ages to be a dangerous
self-indulgence, and it can be an obstacle to accepting
loss when it comes.
Letting go—the opposite of hubris and hungry
attachment—is part of the paradoxical process of
growing with the inevitable losses. A common, fear
ridden old-age affliction is hoarding money or filling
one’s living spaces with things, sometimes to the point
that they literally crowd us out. This is an -11-
ill-conceived but all too common method of hanging on
to life. In fact the opposite dynamic is true; if a longer life
is the goal, the effective strategy is to give up, or away,
possessions, attachments and encumbrances as we
make psychic room for life-enhancing human riches to
take their place.
A friend of mine said: "I plan to die as I drop my last
quarter in a parking meter." I wish it were as easy as it
sounds. He did not succeed as he died unexpectedly.
That balancing act—when to hang on or when to let
go—Is exquisitely difficult. Hanging on and letting go can
be crucial life decisions, forks on the road which can
determine the quality of the rest of our lives.
As time passes and you are subtly and gradually forced
to let go of options, people, money, material
possessions, physical prowess and stamina you will
have a corresponding opportunity to accrue spiritual
dimensions—an open heart filled with well-earned love,
the subtle skills of open and reciprocal communication,
the power of wisdom and experience and the limitless
possibilities of spiritual transcendence—so that when
you die you can dissolve, or ascend if you prefer, into
the seamless, cosmic dust.
That said lets look at what else might be helpful, for the
Lions of Winter, to achieve a strong finish. –12-
10
 Strategy # 3
Let Go
Life is a dramatic, temporary, local exception to the
second law of thermodynamics: The law of entropy. This
law tells us that everything in the universe declines.
Dedicated to reversing this implacable law is the life
force—nature’s healing hand, vis medicatrix naturae.
The life force is fueled by the energy from the sun
accumulated in our cells, and its mission is the constant
battle of regeneration against decay. And while the end
of any individual life is predictable and inevitable, life
itself continues its relentless struggle and will prevail, in
some form, as long as the sun shines.

As you experience the unavoidable entropy in your own

life’s trajectory, it’s important not to panic. You will have
to stay calm and take the bad with courage and dignity
as you pay attention to the good, with cheer and
optimism. All of this while acknowledging the most
essential fact of our existence: We live and then (sorry)
we die. As we assimilate that inexorable reality we need
to accept the inevitable and obvious losses while—I
-- repeat—we keep an eye out for the opportunities and
-9- Matthew Baek gains to be outlined in this short book. –10-

9
An intelligent person would not choose to invest in a
declining asset; yet we do invest in our declining lives
because of those valuable, hidden promises—love,
wisdom and transcendence—that can be achieved. In
fact investing in life is an obvious and intelligent choice
because the alternative will result in bitterness,
depression, hopelessness and, arguably, an early death.
As we strive to age gracefully some of us will notice that
we look and feel younger than our age mates. It’s
tempting to take pride in this and feel superior and self-
satisfied. Insofar as we age well due to our genetic
inheritance, the more appropriate response might be
gratitude—and compassion for those not so lucky. We
can take satisfaction in the health that we enjoy due to
our own efforts but it’s important to remember that aging
fundamentally entails loss, and that pride comes before
the fall. Hubris—pride—is a common mistake of the
powerful, known through the ages to be a dangerous
self-indulgence, and it can be an obstacle to accepting
loss when it comes.
Letting go—the opposite of hubris and hungry
attachment—is part of the paradoxical process of
growing with the inevitable losses. A common, fear
ridden old-age affliction is hoarding money or filling
one’s living spaces with things, sometimes to the point
that they literally crowd us out. This is an -11-
ill-conceived but all too common method of hanging on
to life. In fact the opposite dynamic is true; if a longer life
is the goal, the effective strategy is to give up, or away,
possessions, attachments and encumbrances as we
make psychic room for life-enhancing human riches to
take their place.
A friend of mine said: "I plan to die as I drop my last
quarter in a parking meter." I wish it were as easy as it
sounds. He did not succeed as he died unexpectedly.
That balancing act—when to hang on or when to let
go—Is exquisitely difficult. Hanging on and letting go can
be crucial life decisions, forks on the road which can
determine the quality of the rest of our lives.
As time passes and you are subtly and gradually forced
to let go of options, people, money, material
possessions, physical prowess and stamina you will
have a corresponding opportunity to accrue spiritual
dimensions—an open heart filled with well-earned love,
the subtle skills of open and reciprocal communication,
the power of wisdom and experience and the limitless
possibilities of spiritual transcendence—so that when
you die you can dissolve, or ascend if you prefer, into
the seamless, cosmic dust.
That said lets look at what else might be helpful, for the
Lions of Winter, to achieve a strong finish. –12-
10
 Strategy # 5.
Eliminate Hatred.
The opposite of Love is hatred. Love and Hate are
deeply ingrained biological tendencies; everyone has
potential for both. Hate against “the other” derives from
our territorial instinct lodged in the reptilian portion of our
brain. We have evolved to the point that we can control
our aggressive hateful instincts but when hatred and
anger aren’t controlled and become chronic they will
steadily inject deadly, self manufactured toxins directly
into your very blood, and circulated into every part of
your body—especially your heart—and keep you
poisoned from within, even as they may seem to
temporarily invigorate you.

Cleanse your Heart of hatred; life is short, and anger

and hate shorten it further. Men’s hearts are often
entangled with anger, aversions and hatred. Clearly,
anger is sometimes justified, even necessary. But take a
simple test: Do you erupt into thinly justified rage—
-17- George Grosz
however brief and subtle—at home, at work, on the
street, in your day or night dreams, every so often?-19-

13
Do you, in your relationships, hold emotionally persistent
grudges and aversions which you consider reasonable
while others do not? If so, consider the possibility that
your heart has been colonized by anger. Hate and anger
are reasonable when we are abused and can't get away
from our abusers. In the absence of abuse, however,
frequent anger probably represents archaic, unresolved
feelings of hatred that need to be acknowledged,
confronted, controlled and resolved.
People express anger routinely, through racism and
prejudice, most of the time unknowingly. Every person
no matter how saintly—and few approximate that
standard—will feel and express unwarranted anger
sooner or later. Eventually we all make serious, violent
mistakes in which real emotional damage is caused.
These mistakes generate virtual swamps of ill feeling
affecting everyone. A serene, long life cannot be lived
without draining these violent poisons of hurt and anger
within us.
The best way to manage and hopefully eliminate anger
is to acknowledge and regret it whenever it rears its ugly
head in you and to apologize to its victims, especially to
children. You may believe that you bear no responsibility
for the pain you cause in others with your angry
behavior; that is a common belief espoused by many:
"I’m not responsible for your emotions" is a convenient
view as it absolves you of the traumatic sins of violent
emotional abuse you may have committed and all the
pain you may have generated. But no amount of self-
serving denial of your responsibility will bring you peace.
Find reconciliation instead. Make an inventory of your
angry misdeeds and take responsibility for them by
seeking serious, heartfelt, face-to-face forgiveness for
your hurtful actions. This is a worthwhile task, I assure
you, even if difficult. Next, gently seek apologies from
those that have hurt you and, if apologies are not
forthcoming, practice unilateral forgiveness. Having
forgiven, having taken responsibility and having made
amends, make it your business to systematically avoid
anger and violence, physical or emotional for the rest of
your life.
In the Vipassana Buddhist tradition seeing and ac-
cepting things as they are is the highest achievement.
One way in which we fail to see things as they are is
when our vision is clouded not only by our heart's
aversions but also by its attachments. Both of the
Heart's emotions—Love and Hate—must be confronted
to attain excellence in aging. Hate needs to be taken in
hand, but Love, indispensable as it is, can be a problem
as well. There is such a thing as harmful loving excess
when we give love away, recklessly, to one that doesn’t
reciprocate or appreciate it, or to one that exploits it. -20-
14
 Strategy #6
Master Your Domain.
We may own large properties and control many people
but our only and ultimate domain is our body. Depending
on how we live, rich or poor, powerful or powerless, our
bodies can be awash in potent, alien, often toxic,
polluting chemical influences. Pesticides, herbicides,
and food and drink additives are difficult to avoid but
then, to make things worse, we voluntarily take in large
amounts of nicotine, caffeine, sugar, fat and of course
that omnipresent and bedeviling chemical; alcohol.

Seeking the magic bullet for our ailments--big and small-

-we consume over-the-counter uppers, downers and
sidewayers. We consult physicians who have no time to
talk, look or feel. Required to swiftly get us out of their
offices to make room for the next-in-line, they loosely
prescribe unproven cocktails of endless variants of anti-
depressants, anxiolytics, anti-psychotics and narcotics
that, helpful or not, have substantial side effects.

We give up control of our lives to chemicals—legal,

illegal, prescribed or over the counter—as well as the
chemical ingredients in our food and drink. These man-
-21- Leonardo Da Vinci
made products refined and concentrated by skillful -22-

15
scientists provide a desired effect at a price and for
profit, with little attention paid to side effects.
Add to this witch’s brew the toxic substances that we
generate ourselves when we lose control of our
emotions and become angry, fearful or depressed.
These emotions have powerful, biochemical and
hormonal components—insulin, cortisol, adrenaline—
that we internally inject into our bloodstream. And let’s
not forget testosterone which can reach high levels and
motivate inappropriate aggressivity. The result is that
after the short-lived primary effects of these substances
fade, we feel deeply sickened. As we age we tend to
assume that our ill feeling is due to aging when it may in
fact be poisoning.
Arrayed against the vicious, toxic effects of these
powerful chemicals are the molecules generated by the
positive emotions of Love, Joy and Hope: oxitocin,
serotonin, dopamine—also hormones—through which
nature's powerful healing hand functions.
But what if we are truly sick? The fact is that given half a
chance most acute diseases are resolved by nature’s
drive for health. Chemicals, used discreetly and
appropriately, can give the life force an opportunity to do
its magic, as for example ibuprofen for temporary aches,
a short course of Prozac when we are hit by paralyzing
depression, a pinch of Xanax when we have an episode
of unbearable anxiety, Zyprexa when psychosis
overtakes us, Oxicontin when we experience acute pain,
Ambien to get some sleep, pot or alcohol when we want
to relax, a pill when we can’t get, and want, an erection,
and an “energy drink” when we need a burst of energy.
Use these powerful chemicals beyond the initial positive
effect, however, and face addiction or dependency. In
fact, they may not help at all and deliver only their side
effects, or they may quit working after a while.
True healers know this: most illnesses, if left alone in a
clean, nurturing environment will get better on their own.
Drugs can help but only nature—vis medicatrix
naturae—will keep you alive. Of course drugs can be
very helpful with chronic conditions like high blood
pressure and cholesterol, chronic pain, diabetes, etc.
For each of these illnesses there may be helpful, life-
extending medications. Still, each one represents a
negotiated bargain of positive and negative effects.
Inventory your body’s chemical domain, including the
self-poisoning of negative emotions. Whenever possible
avoid man-made chemicals and if you allow them use
them appropriately and in as a small dose as possible
while always considering their side effects. On the
whole, depend on Mother Nature and a little help from
your friends to keep you alive and well. –24-
16
 Strategy # 7
Don't Groan When You Sit Down.
My mother used to say. "When you wake up in the
morning and something hurts that's good news. It means
you’re still alive." So just because doing something hurts
does not exempt you from doing it. That said, its very
important never to groan when you sit down.

Every groan is a mini-surrender in the battle for a long

life. As you lower yourself into a chair, couch or bed you
can give up power, collapse, fall in and give a groan of
relief. On the other hand, instead of allowing sitting
down to become a small, albeit comfortable, defeat you
can make it a power move. Lower yourself with full use
of your leg and back muscles and if you can't help letting
out a groan of pain, borrow the Marine's battle cry:
"Boooyah!" instead. The same process applies to getting
up from a chair or out of bed: don't help yourself with
your arms. If necessary mutter: "Boooyah!" Every
"Boooyah!" (or Ho-YA, the Tantric version) is a
Longevity Warrior’s mini-victory against the grim reaper.

It may seem that I can’t make up my mind between

facing reality and letting go on one hand and resisting on
the other. In fact, aging repeatedly places us on the –26

17
horns of the familiar dilemma: when to give in and when
to resist. As we age we increasingly face that choice,
and the decisions we make can be crucially important.
Think them over, seek advice and choose well. If you
make a mistake—struggling on when it would be best to
surrender, or surrendering when it would be best to
struggle—correct it post haste and keep on trucking.
This is especially true about mobility the longevity
warrior's major weapon system. Keep your legs greased
and feet working as long as possible and don’t abuse
your knees by jogging. Make use of every opportunity to
walk, indoors and out, up and down stairs. The easy gait
of youth may deteriorate but as with every other
faculty—like hearing, where we compensate by reading
lips—the brain will develop new neural paths to make up
for the loss, provided you don’t give up. Persist by
walking, with arch supports, a cane or walker, knee or
hip replacement if need be. Don’t give up without a fight.
Maintaining the musculature of core strength required for
good equilibrium is essential to walking. Equilibrium,
Centering, Grounding, in the ancient system of Kundalini
Chacras, is the capacity to be rooted and comfortable
while standing, walking or climbing. When you have a
well-developed faculty of balance, you know where you
stand and where you are going. You are able to "stand
your ground” and will not be easily pushed out of your
physical or personal position. Your body will be firmly
planted, comfortable with the force of gravity and your
mind will be steady.
Over time we can lose our capacities for balance, our
agility will be challenged, and we may become
enfeebled and insecure on our feet. This development
should be struggled against as long as possible. Wear
good shoes, take care of your feet, exercise and stretch
your leg muscles whenever you can. Don't lean against
walls or use handrails when walking up or down stairs.
Stand up to put on your pants and socks and balance on
one foot while on the phone or when brushing your
teeth, if you can. Eventually, as you lose your capacity
for physical grounding, compensate by strengthening
your psychological and emotional equilibrium.
And while we are talking about our pants don’t let your
attire get sloppy. As a longevity warrior you must pass
daily muster; proud, clean and groomed. Make sure that
there is someone in your life that will help you choose
clothes, keep you neat, well dressed and—Yes!—sexy.
Get one or two large mirrors to look at yourself, front and
back and never go out in public in your gym clothes.
Pick up your feet, soldier. Death to the old man's shuffle!
Hold your head high, keep your eye on the sky! "Ho-
Ya!," “Boooyah,” "Can do!” -28-
18
 Strategy # 8
Sex; Keep It Up As Long As You Can
Sex is an eagerly avoided subject, but it is crucial to our
discussion. In the hundreds of books available about
aging, sex is barely, if ever, mentioned—except to
reassure us that it is still possible, with stories of
octogenarians waltzing from ballroom to blissful coitus.
In fact, sex is important for health and the feeling of well
being in aging.

Orgasms are the essence of sexuality, an electrifying

flow of the life force, galvanizing the body. Men can
survive without them, but orgasms are an undeniably
positive influence on our mood and health, to be
pursued for as long as possible

If there isn't a loving person in your life, or if the person

you love doesn’t enjoy bringing you to orgasm, what are
the acceptable alternatives? Most people have trouble
comfortably imagining others, especially old people,
masturbating. Nor are they at ease to imagine
simultaneous masturbation in an elder couple. The life
long social and inner opprobrium leveled at self-
-29- Franz Masreel pleasuring is pervasive. Yet there is nothing wrong with
it, as we should clearly know. The Critical Parent–30-

19
can be relentless in its life-long persecution of those who
engage in onansim. If you are with a partner who has
lost interest in intercourse, it’s worthwhile overcoming
any reticence that might keep you from inquiring if she
(or he) would be open to, and supportive of, other
options. If your are alone your options are different but
still widely available.
We can have a burning desire for sex while our body
does not cooperate and denies us erections or orgasms.
That decline can have a number of reasons: overall
health, libido impairing medication, depression, lack of
privacy, lack of a partner for sexual expression, guilt and
other negative attitudes about sex, all go into the mix.
Others find that their sexual desires have completely
disappeared. Some will accept this development as a
welcome relief from the obsessive pursuit of sexual
satisfaction. For those who want to prolong their
sexuality a good rule is “use it or lose it.” Fortunately
there are various surprisingly effective aids to keeping it
up: one type is chemical, the other visual. Chemical aids
are well known, and then you can take your laptop to
bed, find your favorite sexual fantasy on YouPorn or
some other such website and have a sexy time.
The evidence seems to be that libido, that is the desire
for sexual experience, can persist into the nineties for
men but gradually loses its pressing nature. Studies of
older people’s sexuality show that we are able to
participate in joyful and invigorating sexual activity,
alone or with a partner. If sexual desire wanes, however,
the need for affection and physical contact, not
necessarily of a sexual sort, persists to the end.
On the other hand, there is an interesting relationship
between sexuality and dancing: Joyful dancing to strong
music can be an energizing activity of life-affirming
pleasure akin to sexuality and orgasm, and can rival sex
in its beneficial, life-affirming effects. Great dancing is
probably better than so-so sex and it also supplies the
biochemical epiphanies that will help keep you young.
Wild and abandoned dancing of that sort is almost as
difficult to find as joyful sexuality; neither is generally
allowed to old people who are supposed to sit quietly
and smile in order to be appreciated. Dance groups, or
private teachers that welcome older folks are often listed
on the Internet. Or you can always dance by yourself.
Regarding sex, remember to be discreet and don’t mix it
with alcohol or other intoxicant drugs. Sexual needs can
drive us to excesses particularly embarrassing for the
old. As my mentor and friend, Eric Berne, advised
regarding the expression of our Inner Child: “Whatever
you do, think of next morning's headlines." -32-
20
 Strategy # 9
Surround Yourself with Youth.
It's no secret that, short of access to the mythical
fountain of youth, the presence of young people and
young ideas is a powerful catalyst to excellent aging. By
“young” I mean about twenty or more years younger
than you, so for older readers that could actually mean
seventy or eighty years old.

To start with, one's own and one's friend's children and

grandchildren of any age are ideal connections to be
pursued. Baby-sit your youngest friends. Invite them to
the toy store or to their favorite mall, take them shopping
for holiday and birthday presents, help at their schools,
chaperone them on camping trips, invite them out to
dinner or on a vacation. And all the while, talk to them
about their interests and tell them interesting stories.

If you are lucky enough to be around little children, get

down to their eye level and make sure that they are
listening; you can tell by how big their eyes get. Between
three and six years old a sure fire conversation starter is:
"Have you ever been stung by a bee?" Between six and
-33- ten years old, "What's your favorite video game?" and
then ask them about their most wanted technology. –34-

21
Sometimes it's difficult to start conversations with young
people; what are they interested in? How does one
wrest them away from computers and TV? Persist
gently, let curiosity be your guide and be prepared to
encounter a wholly novel worldview just as complex
and intricate as yours to connect with and pursue.
People of all ages like to be asked about themselves as
long as the questions don't frighten them. The right
inquiry will be answered eagerly if you show interest and
ask good follow-up questions. Keep up with youthful
interests and technology.
Here is a fascinating, related, ancient paradox. The
highest, most revered card in the Tarot divining deck is
the Fool. The Fool is portrayed as a happy guy about to
dance off the edge of a cliff, yet he is wise. Interesting
the young is about being shrewdly curious and creatively
foolish at the same time. Very young children love
silliness, tricks, word games, dumb jokes and making
loud animal and farting sounds. Use your judgment with
the latter and don’t swear within children’s hearing.
Older kids love stories, the more creatively told, even
made up the better. At the end of the story its good to
ask: “What do you think is the moral of this tale?”
Whether 60, 40, 20 or two, young people have a
potential, instinctive, sometimes hidden interest and -35-
respect for their elders; capturing that interest is an
important aging skill. One solution is to hire young
people as servants or companions. However, when
money becomes the reason for a young person to
associate with an older gentleman the relationship can
become murky and unhealthy for both parties. But when
the motivation is the natural, mutual interest that the
young and the old have in each other, even if money is
involved, the connection can be most beneficial.
Hugh Hefner, 81, who plans to have sex until 100, lives
with three very young girlfriends who presumably keep
him active and young. Most men don’t have access to
adoring younger lovers with whom to live out their lives,
as have so many famous old men. But young people
abound and many will share themselves with the aged in
what can be a mutually beneficial relationship.
This is a dangerous, taboo subject that many will identify
with emotional and sexual exploitation, which it can be,
but need not, and should not be. Like all minorities, older
men are the victims of denigrating labels; in our case we
have to guard against the “dirty old man” stereotype by
eschewing inappropriate, sexualized behavior or verbal
innuendo with young people that we may find attractive.
In addition, given the understandable current fears about
sexual abuse of the young, we must take great care to
remain above suspicion around children. –36-
22
 Strategy # 10
Wisdom; Shut Up And Learn.
One of the big mistakes old people make is to believe
that just because they are old, they can say anything
that comes to mind. It's as if because you are old and
about to die soon anyway you have nothing to lose. In
fact after a certain age, people will let you get away with
the most outrageous utterances, even pretending that
they are a form of esoteric wisdom when they may be
plain foolishness. Indulgence breeds disrespect,
disrespect breeds isolation, and isolation is a sure killer.

Saying anything that comes into one's mind is often

justified as a love of truth. Though love of truth as well
as love of others and self are the keystones to a good
life, these values must be kept in balance. Excessive
regard for a subjective notion of truth leads aging men
and women to make statements in ways that are
insensitive and counterproductive. To love truth and to
be truthful are definitely important. Lies are as corrosive
as chemical toxins and as detrimental to excellent aging.
Keeping track of lies, let alone telling additional lies to
cover up past ones, can occupy large portions of a
person's brain, even if the lies in question are “little white
-37- lies.” We can't afford to clutter our minds with -38-

23
deception and cover-ups. That includes lies about our
emotions, positive or negative, minor or major;
everything deceptive you say or secret you fail to reveal
can reap important consequences. Forswearing lies and
embracing radical truthfulness are the royal road to a
clear, open mind. The secret is in developing the fine art
of being radically truthful (no lies, period) while at the
same time remaining considerate, thoughtful and safe.
Getting old is supposed to have advantages. For some
men, one bonus is the welcome decrease in
testosterone-driven aggressivity and obnoxiousness. I
have failed to find other rewards, except, hopefully,
wisdom. The wisdom of aging comes from being around
a while longer and knowing a bit more than others.
Wisdom according to Mark Twain is "listening when you
would rather be talking." Listening is not merely waiting
for the other person to stop talking so you can start. True
listening involves more than just your ears but your
whole body, tuning in and resonating to the other
person's being, the way a plucked guitar string is sent
into vibrating motion by another, tuned to it. Wisdom is
to the mind what agility is to the body. Wisdom is also
about respect for things as they are, about changing
one's mind in the face of facts and yet having a definite
opinion and being correspondingly self-assured while
open to revision by reality. Wisdom requires -39-
not saying "obviously," “certainly” or "clearly," about
one’s own opinion, no matter how sure we are about it.
Conversely, when people do or say foolish things,
wisdom will prevent you from using distempered words
like "ridiculous," nonsense," or "bullshit" about them,
and their opinions. Often the best thing one can do is to
shut up, ask occasional questions, listen, learn and, if
asked, express one’s opinions in a measured way. And,
it goes without saying; grumpiness and wisdom do not
mix
To the extent that we have acquired wisdom it is
important to find an outlet for it. Being unable to express
one's talents is extremely painful. That is what I’m trying
to do for myself with this little book. It is important that
we find use for our skills, as tutors, teachers, volunteers,
writers, organizers, whatever or wherever your wisdom
can find application, paid or unpaid.
Whenever you have something truthful and important to
say but you are not asked for your opinion you can offer
it: "Would you like to know what I think?" If you get a
blank stare in response be patient; good ideas need to
be groomed and carefully repeated and often take some
time to establish their wisdom. To give the lie to the old
prejudice that you can’t teach and old dog new tricks, be
ready to recognize, after reflection, that your contribution
may not be as important as you first thought. –40-
24
 Strategy # 11
Mastering Imperfection.
Inevitably, as we go through life, we will face difficult,
sometimes extremely difficult, times, which will demand
courage, determination and guts to overcome. But what
to do if living becomes profoundly and uncontrollably
imperfect and we decide, after thorough and sober
reflection that we no longer want to go on? What if our
mortal suffering begins to include too much physical and
moral pain, too much panic and dread, the terminal loss
of stoicism? When do we reasonably consider a willful
exit?

Unfortunately, not everyone can have a golden old age.

When hard times hit and living seems intractably
intolerable some people would choose to end their lives
rather than face the indignities of ungracious aging.
Others believe that it is an unpardonable sin to terminate
one's life no matter how flawed it may be and believe
that they are compelled to live every day that is offered
by God or Nature, regardless of how painful or joyless.
Others may be persuaded that ending life is what they
truly want, but can’t find a method that would not cause
great shock and grief to their loved ones. –42-

25
Some, it is said, can find dignity, wisdom and
transcendence through extreme suffering and choose to
do so. But if that difficult goal is not attainable, ordinary
mortals must not be forced to believe that they have to
endure any and all of fate’s agonies. I believe that our
life is ours to live in any way we wish, to the bitter or
sweet end. This is our ultimate privilege and everyone
should feel free to choose for himself.
When we despair and believe that we would prefer not
to live we need to ask whether or not we are in a
temporary depression that could eventually clear up.
The answer to that important question can’t be left to the
experts; it needs to be answered by you, hopefully with
an open minded and wise advisor by your side.
I have decided on a plan. If the day comes when it
seems, after much exertion, that life is not worth living
and has become uncontrollably imperfect, I will stop
eating and announce the end to my loved ones.
Hopefully I will be able to fulfill a common dream—dying
at home cared for and surrounded by family and
friends—and won't be force-fed in a hospital bed as I try
to make a decorous exit.
The idea of living to be a hundred is repugnant and
frightening to some, probably because there is a vast
prejudice against the imperfections that accompany
advanced age. Anyone exceeding sixty five will almost
certainly start experiencing those imperfections and
among them the bite of ageism. The prejudice against
the old is relentlessly manifested in the media; on TV in
ads and situation comedies. As we age we may become
aware of people’s ageist, cruel and inconsiderate, if
unwitting, reactions. People will look through us or fail to
see us and the unspoken attitude of many—though not
most young children—when they see that we are old is
to discount our significance. Don’t let prejudice dissuade
you from living on, if you so desire. Remember that there
are still places on this Earth were the Old Ones are
admired and respected, and for good reasons.
So, If you desire to live on, why not plan to live one
hundred years, every day as if it was the last one? "One
day at a time," is a fundamental, paradoxical, survival
strategy that certainly applies to the predicament of the
so-called "golden" years. Imperfection will come and
confrontation with it will be inevitable. But when taken
one day at a time, with luck and our loved ones
hopefully at our side, boldly struggling with everyday
imperfections, excellence in aging can indeed make our
ending years golden. An excellent attitude can make
getting old a good trip and if imperfection becomes
dominant and irrevocable, everything can be brought
into line with a noble and dignified death. –44-
26
 Strategy #12
Transcendence.
Aging is about loss and the greatest loss of aging is the
loss of personal power culminating in Death. During the
peak of power of our mid-years, power is understood by
many men to be based on control over others, money
and possessions. But power comes in many alternate
forms.

Borrowing from the ancient system of Kundalini chacras,

I have defined and renamed seven increasingly spiritual
energy centers of personal power starting with the three
“lower” ones; the power of Grounding (centering,
balance, agility,) the power of Sex (passion, sexuality,
emotional vehemence) and the power of Control
(management, dominance, power plays.)

As these lower powers—called lower only because they

are most earthbound—wane and our appetite and
aptitude for them diminishes, the other, higher, side of
power; the power of Love, the power of Communication,
the power of Wisdom and finally, the power of
Transcendence, are freed to develop. As we lose power
. here we can regain it there.
–46-

27
I have spoken of three “higher” powers; Love,
Communication and Wisdom. That leaves us the highest
and last frontier of personal power; transcendence.
Transcendence, a state of mind alternately referred to as
a State of Grace, Nirvana and even Nothingness is the
power of detachment from the material and the earthly.
When viewed as a source of power, transcendence is
the power of equanimity and fearless joy, of allowing
events to take their course, of not letting negative
emotion, attachments or aversions hold sway, of
allowing laughter to take us above the clouds. For some,
such a state of mind is natural and easy; others need
meditation and discipline to achieve it.
If Letting Go helps us accept our physical losses as they
arrive, transcendence leads us to find positive calm and
even mirth. Transcendence lets us see clearly, in the
midst of earthshaking changes as we realize how brief
life is before we return to cosmic dust, how ephemeral
our successes and failures, how much larger than
ourselves the world and the universe really are. These
realizations can be shocking and depressing at first. But
they can also put a smile on our face, and shake us with
a cosmic giggle, when we see that our pain, loneliness
or exhaustion pale in the context of the immensity of
time and space.
Easier by far to say than to do, but transcendence
allows us to "rise above" any situation, regardless of
how dismal, letting us trust and feel powerful within our
inviolable selves in spite of whatever happens. The
power of transcendence gives one hope, calm and faith
that there is a meaning to life beyond what one's limited
intelligence can grasp. Above all, transcendence allows
us enjoy life to the end and to accept trouble without
depression, and death without fear.
Transcending is about moving on to the next stage, be it
utter silence or reincarnation, white light, heaven or hell,
with elegance, flair, humor and, above all, dignity.
Whatever you believe faces you after death; satisfying,
even joyful progress toward that final point is a
worthwhile and attainable goal. Much has been written
and said about transcendence and it’s mysteries. In the
last analysis, transcendence is the final and most
important strategy of excellence in aging.
To Life, Good and Long
Filled with Love, Wisdom and Fun
A Strong, Happy Finish.
28
 End Notes:
These notes are intended to amplify the strategies suggested in
this book. The books mentioned are available through on-line
book stores and many sources can be found on the internet
addresses given, as well as through various search engines.
One; Wake up
Alan Alda, the celebrated movie actor has written eloquently
about the reprise that comes after a dramatic brush with death
in his book: Things I overheard while talking to myself. (2007,
Random House)
Speaking of aging jokes, the body-building icon Jack
LaLanne, at an admirable 94, seemed to want to avoid the
awareness of death by concentrating on diet and exercise. He
joked: “You know, I can’t afford to die—it would be bad for
my image!” Another of his jokes: “I have sex almost every
day. Almost Monday, almost Tuesday, almost…” That’s what
I mean by whistling past the graveyard!
George Bernard Shaw lived to be 94 and, concerned
with aging, wrote Back to Methuselah. “Oh! to be seventy
again” may be an apocryphal quote but it makes sense.
Two; Live Long
According to government statistics--
http://www.ssa.gov/OACT/STATS/table4c6.html--the
expected life span at 100 is two years. –49-
About Eric Berne’s theory of scripts, I recommend two
of his books to illustrate the way in which people waste their
time between birth and death: Games People Play, (1964,
Grove Press) his huge best seller and What do You Say After
You Say Hello, (Grove Press, 1971) his last work. If you want
to read about scripts see my book Scripts People Live. (Grove
Press, 1974)
Regarding how to change one’s script read Bob and
Mary Goulding’s Changing Lives Through Redecision
Therapy (Grove Press, 1997)
A stunning example of this decade’s version of the
nonsensical notion that we have absolute power of what
happens to us is the current fad, The Secret, which quotes the
"law of attraction." based on Hindu teachings that "like
attracts like." Rhonda Byrne the author of the best selling
book The Secret (Atria Books, 2006) writes "Everything that's
coming into your life you are attracting into your life,"
Three; Let Go
How we are a temporary exception to the Second Law of
thermodynamics can be read in Erwin Schrodinger’s popular-
science book What is Life? (Cambridge Press, 1992) He used
the concept of “negative entropy” explaining that a living
system exports entropy in order to maintain its own entropy at
a low level and to avoid the effects of entropy as dictated by
the second law, doing just the opposite, that is, increasing
organization—life—which intuitively, seems like the converse
of entropy. –50-
29
 Hubris is a Greek concept of timeless applicability.
Hubris, a human weakness to be avoided at all costs was a
frequent cause of disaster in Greek tragedy. Hubris according
to its modern usage, is exaggerated self-confidence
(overbearing pride), often resulting in fatal retribution. “Pride
commeth before the fall” says it all.
Four: Love is the Answer.
For the scientific research backing up Dr. Ornish’s assertion
read his book: Love and Survival: The Scientific Basis for the
Healing Power of Intimacy. (Harper-Collins, 1997.)
I coined the term “warm fuzzy” in 1969 when I wrote
the Warm Fuzzy Tale. Today “warm and fuzzy” has become
part of the popular lexicon. You can read about the mythical
reason why people don’t give each other strokes on my web
site (in nine languages) or in the illustrated book The Original
Warm Fuzzy Tale (Pro-Ed Press, 1974)
Five: Eliminate hatred
For a report on the research of Edward Suarez linking anger to
cardiac illness, read:
http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2004/09/22/health/webmd/m
ain644961.shtml Depression and anger account for the 50%
of heart attacks that occur among people who do not exhibit
any of the traditional risk factors for heart disease.
For an excellent article about anger management see
http://www.apa.org/topics/controlanger.html
-51-
I explore apology and forgiveness and how to put them
into action in my book Emotional Literacy; Intelligence with a
Heart (Personhood Press, 2003)
Vipassana, which in Hindu means: “to see things as
they are,” has as its goal to give up ignorance, attachments
and aversions. It is one of India's most ancient techniques of
meditation. It was rediscovered by Gotama Buddha more than
2500 years ago and is presently being taught all over the
world in free, ten day, silent meditation programs. Read more
on: www.dhamma.org
Six: Master your domain
For a source of information on harmful chemicals in food, see:
http://www.nzfsa.govt.nz/consumers/chemicals-toxins-
additives/
About the dangers of psychiatric medications see:
http://www.breggin.com/
About love chemicals see
www.oxytocin.org/oxytoc/love-science.html
Nature’s Healing hand: Vis medicatrix naturae.
Widely attributed to Hippocrates, the notion of Nature’s
healing hand has been a guiding belief of a segment of the
medical profession down the ages. See Andrew Weil’s
Natural Healing (Little Brown and Co.,1992)
Seven: Don’t Groan
According to yogic writings and oral tradition, the power of
Kundalini is raised through specific meditative practices –52
30
using the chakras, the psycho-spiritual energy centers along
the spine. The chakras are nerve plexes or centers of force and
each chakra is a source of power with special characteristics.
My reinterpretation of the Kundalini Chacras can be
found in my book Emotional Literacy (Personhood Press,
2003) also available on my web site along with my book The
Other Side of Power.
Regarding the importance of walking see:
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/walking/HQ01612
Regarding the importance of equilibrium see
http://www.equilibriumfitness.com/press.htm
Regarding the plasticity of the brain and its capacity
for regeneration see www.brainlightning.com/regen.html
Regarding regeneration in the aging brain see:
www.fightaging.org/archives/001532.php
Strategy Eight: Sex
Studies show that frequent sex and orgasms translate into
lower death rates for both men and women (Duke University,
1970) and lower risk of heart attacks for women
(Psychosomatic Medicine, 1976). A study conducted in
Melbourne, Australia, found that frequent ejaculation is
crucial for avoiding many prostate-related problems. See:
http://www.hey-lisa.com/health-benefits-of-the-male-orgasm/
I recommend the movie “Venus” with Peter O’Toole
which dramatically portrays an aging man’s predicament
involving his sexual needs and alcohol.
Regarding visual sexual stimulation, in short
pornography there is an infinite a number of amateur clips
available for free on www.youporn.com as well as pay
websites with professional content. Finally I believe that if
available, legally and in dignified form, prostitution is a valid
source of sexual and/or sensual pleasure for men who can
afford its high-priced professional providers.
Strategy Nine: Youth
The Fool in the ancient Tarot divining deck is a much-
discussed icon. The Fool is the spirit in search of experience,
the mystical cleverness and childlike ability to understand
reality. The Fool carries all his posessions on his back. A dog
nipping at his calf representing animal desires distracts him.
Unconcerned and trusting, he is about to walk off the edge of
a cliff.
For excellent suggestions about how to ask questions
that promote conversations see : Conversationally Speaking
by Alan Garner (Lowell House, 1997)
Hugh Hefner the “lifestyle enterpreneour” of Playboy
fame is the icon of old men being sustained by the youth that
surrounds them and that he may or may not be exploiting.
http://entrepreneurs.about.com/od/famousentrepreneurs/p/
hughhefner.htm Judge for yourself
Ten: Shut up and learn
Regarding lying and truthfulness, read my essay
“Radical Truthfulness; An Immodest Proposal” in which I
31
I have spoken of three “higher” powers; Love,
Communication and Wisdom. That leaves us the highest
and last frontier of personal power; transcendence.
Transcendence, a state of mind alternately referred to as
a State of Grace, Nirvana and even Nothingness is the
power of detachment from the material and the earthly.
When viewed as a source of power, transcendence is
the power of equanimity and fearless joy, of allowing
events to take their course, of not letting negative
emotion, attachments or aversions hold sway, of
allowing laughter to take us above the clouds. For some,
such a state of mind is natural and easy; others need
meditation and discipline to achieve it.
If Letting Go helps us accept our physical losses as they
arrive, transcendence leads us to find positive calm and
even mirth. Transcendence lets us see clearly, in the
midst of earthshaking changes as we realize how brief
life is before we return to cosmic dust, how ephemeral
our successes and failures, how much larger than
ourselves the world and the universe really are. These
realizations can be shocking and depressing at first. But
they can also put a smile on our face, and shake us with
a cosmic giggle, when we see that our pain, loneliness
or exhaustion pale in the context of the immensity of
time and space.
Easier by far to say than to do, but transcendence
allows us to "rise above" any situation, regardless of
how dismal, letting us trust and feel powerful within our
inviolable selves in spite of whatever happens. The
power of transcendence gives one hope, calm and faith
that there is a meaning to life beyond what one's limited
intelligence can grasp. Above all, transcendence allows
us enjoy life to the end and to accept trouble without
depression, and death without fear.
Transcending is about moving on to the next stage, be it
utter silence or reincarnation, white light, heaven or hell,
with elegance, flair, humor and, above all, dignity.
Whatever you believe faces you after death; satisfying,
even joyful progress toward that final point is a
worthwhile and attainable goal. Much has been written
and said about transcendence and it’s mysteries. In the
last analysis, transcendence is the final and most
important strategy of excellence in aging.
To Life, Good and Long
Filled with Love, Wisdom and Fun
A Strong, Happy Finish.
28