Madison Burton

6/26/19 SP 120
Listening: More than Meets the Ear

“Listening, defined as the process of making sense of others’ messages, consists of five
elements: hearing, attending, understanding, responding, and remembering.” This is similar to
Maslows Hierarchy of Needs, where you can’t ​effectively​ attend without hearing, you can’t
understand without attending, and so on. However, it is possible to attend without understanding,
and so on. In order to ​effectively​ communicate, this is not the case and you can’t do one without
the other. The act of listening is both the most common and oftentimes, the most overlooked
factor within communication. However, there is a difference between just hearing and truly
listening to someone, but there is also a difference between listening mindlessly and listening
mindfully.
“Several responding styles masquerade as listening but actually are only poor imitations
of the real thing.” There is a variety of reasons for why one might listen poorly. “Some reasons
have to do with the tremendous number of messages that bombard us daily and with the personal
preoccupations, noise, and rapid thoughts that distract us from focusing on the information we
are exposed to.” This is referred to as noise and can be external, physiological, and
psychological. This can include, but is not limited to, a notification that bings through on a
electronic device, or maybe the buzz of nearby traffic. Or it might not be as a result of noise, but
might have to do with the effort put into the act of listening and the belief that the act of speaking
is more rewarding than that of listening. This can be a result of physical hearing defects, or could
be because of a lack of training in how to be an effective communicator, and with that, an
effective listener. Even if there has been extensive training involved, there is always more one
can do in order to extend their skills. Whether from talking less, reducing distractions, avoiding
jumping to conclusions and making premature judgements, and/or to seek the key ideas of the
speaker, there are always things we can do to improve our listening.
Through the ways other people listen and respond to us is how we evaluate how other
people are paying attention to us, if they even are at all. “Some listening responses put a
premium on gathering information and providing support; these include prompting, questioning,
paraphrasing, and supporting. Other listening responses focus more on providing direction and
evaluation; these include analyzing, advising, and judging.” Effective communicators use a
variety of these styles and take into their consideration many of the factors that play into
communication, such as gender, culture, the situation(s), and the styles and past experiences of
each of the communicators.
It often happens at school where someone, whether I ever talk to them or not, wants to
talk to me about something serious going on in their life. It’s comforting to know that others are
aware that I am there if they ever want to talk, and that I’ll be there to just listen if that’s what
they need/want. It’s especially comforting to know that it’s happened multiple times in just the
past year, where I will hardly ever talk to someone, but then they feel comfortable enough to
come to me with troubles and challenges in their own life. I’m proud of the fact that others feel
 Madison Burton
6/26/19 SP 120
welcomed enough and that they know that they can both trust me and know that I’m there if they
ever need someone to truly listen.