No Vengeance As Absolute As Forgiveness

By: Roxanne Udtohan

“When everything you love have been stolen from you, sometimes all you have left is
REVENGE”; and, this was what I felt.

Life is priceless, isn’t it? Not even the wealthiest person in the universe can afford it. That was
why, when my father was unjustly taken away from me, I was determined to avenge for his life, TO
REVENGE!

Accordingly, I can tell, I was of no difference to these scattered things here. For about 5 years my
mind was in chaos. All filled me were hatreds. All filled me were worries and insecurities. My heart was a
broken glass, indeed. Totally broken, that I didn’t even know how to assemble them up again.

People always recognized me as “Best in Mathematics”. What a privilege, right? But I feel so
unworthy for it, for I couldn’t even solve this brokenness in me. In this situation, I lost my calculation. I
lost my math. Every time I try to check my x(my past) and found out y(why?), I was always lead to this
solution- VENGEANCE. Do you wonder why?
 Back when I was in grade 6, 5 years, 5 months, 20 days and 17 hours ago, I can never forget, I
witnessed the cruelest events I’ve ever seen in this world. With my naked eyes, I saw how my father was
mercilessly killed. I trembled in fear. I didn’t know what to do. Since then, a small seed of anger
gradually grow in me. That event was the beginning of another chapter of my life, where everything
changes- my perceptions, my principles and especially my attitudes. I was filled with anger. I wanted
RETALLIATION, an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth and life for a life.

Although friends were convincing me not to do such wickedness, but that was the only way I
know that would satisfy me. I believe that I will not regret for it because that was for my father’s justice.
As well as I believe that was not a small matter to be forgiven neither easy to be forgotten. I was truly
determined to REVENGE.

But, dear friends, “God is too good, to be unkind” to me. He sends me here, in the Sisters of Mary
School, 4 years ago to be healed of this grudges, of this wounds. Through His instruments, the Sisters of
Mary Family, He taught me the right mathematical calculation of my problem and then I found out that,
vengeance is an erroneous solution. Then again, I repeated the steps and God showed me the way to
FORGIVENESS.

“Forgiveness is the last resort that leads to resolution when there are no more options for ending
the agony and finding peace in mind.” I thought I would always be like these scattered things, no peace at
all. But in forgiveness, I found peace. Yes, it is indeed difficult to forgive yet possible. It is possible and I
made it, and I believe that you too, could make it. I shared this to you because I wanted you to realize that
it is not in revenging that we find peace rather in forgiveness. I know it’s difficult but don’t worry “God is
always with you” as He is with me; and, even such kind of problem, murder, broken family or
whatsoever, however big or small “We could entrust it all to him” for He said “Vengeance is Mine; I will
repay”. What God only want for us to do is to forgive our enemies. And if our enemy is ourselves, then
forgive. In fact, Jesus Christ gives us the example, the cross. The cross is telling us that “the sweetest
revenge is forgiveness”. So, my dear friends, I tell you “there is NO VENGEANCE AS ABSOLUTE AS
FORGIVENESS!” Thus, I challenge you now, FORGIVE.