last word christopher rlce

andapathy
Adolescence
Most of the gay men I lmow are incapable of imagin- well into their 40s. Wrong. We had an
adolescence just like everyone else-
ing life after 35, so naturally they were horrified to
we just didn't like it.
learn that I had spent a weekend in Palm Springs.If My erudite ftiends also tell me that
you're gay and in your 20s,you're not supposedto I'm simply seeing a complex, hisbori-
do this unlessyou work in the porn industry. (White cal love of youth and beauty that's
unique to the gay community, ffi h-
Parby attendees get a weekend pass.) Most gay men of my gen-
trinsic aspect of our sexuality with
precedents reaching back to ancient
I
erationview Palm Springs as a bas- while-you-can mentality implying Greece. Ttris line of thinking implies t.
tion of outdated-and embarrass- that life after 35 is devoid of spiritual that my naughty thoughts about porn
ing-modes of gay expression: han- and carnal frrlfillment. Here, commu- star Tfent Atkins are somehow noble
dlebar mustaches,asslesschaps,and nal celebrationsaxedriven by the be- and empowering when compared
showtunes,to nameafew. liefs that ffue love can only be found with the rise in heart rate my father
But Palm Springs has something in the arms of an impossibly beauti- experienced every time he saw a pic-
to offer that the urban gay ghetto hre of Britrey Spears. (It also $osses
does not. It has love handles and over the fact that in ancient Greece
laugh lines, big bellies and gray botboms over 30 were labeled prosti-
hair. h other words, it has middle tutes and subject to execution.) The
age. Make that a happy, carefree unique thing about gay men is our ca-
acceptanceof middle age. paclty for discussing our sex drives
At the Pafm Springs pride festi- with a laughable degree of grandiosi-
val, the maioriW of booths were W and self-importance even as they
dedicated to home-improvement become less and less interesting and
and legal advice, and the most controversial to everyone else.
popular dance floor was crowded We are entering an era of intersi-
with line dancers and two-step- ffing civil rights sffuggles, and many
pers, giving the sense that these gay thinkers have noted a bewilder-
men actually wanted to dance ing apathy among gay men, espe-
with one another. It was a cele- cially when it comes to maniage
bration of the lives that middle- rights. I don't think it's bewilder-
aged gay men axe actually living ing at all. Marriage brings adult
and of the sex they are actually responsibilities, and many of us
having (with the men they are ac- are unwilling to grow up. As my
tually having it with). I was good friend Eric Quinn put it, a
shocked, enlightened, and hope- trip to the Black Paxtybecomesa
ful. There was life after qpandex, lot more complicated when giv-
Aveda" and Crunch, and it didn't ing in to temptation meanshand-
look so bad after all. ing over half your income to the
Unforhurately, this life exists well angrylover you left at home.
off the radar screens of most gay fin (and straight) go-go boy and that Legalized mariage does not pre-
men who live in urban ghettos, long-term commitments require his- clude us from having unconvention-
trapped in a perpetual state of ado- and-his Range Rovers and a house al, nonmonogamous relationships,
lescence. Here in West Hollywood, if with aview in the Hollywood hills. yet some men's apattty has the poten-
you're not in your 20s, you talk One popular lcree.jerk defense for tial to punish us all. So if you're one F

about them incessantly and dress this behavior is the absurd and self- of those who doesn't want the party
like you still are. If you are in yow pitying notion that gay men were de to end, just don't plan to crash on my
20s, you wear your se)fl.rality with a nied an adolescence and therefore sofa at 5 e-u. I have to get up early for
chiseled, humorless Savity, a takeit- have the right to act like teenagers my next visit to Palm Springs. r

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gfauily,implytng
thatllh aflor35isdeyoid fulfillment,
0fspirtualandGarilal F

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