LOVE AND RELATIONSHIPS

“It was only later that I suffocated under the weight of his arguments and his darker thoughts
articulated” (p. 209)
Agnes was a naïve character who desired to be loved, especially by Natan as he allowed her to
follow her dreams and showed her the affection that she craved. She didn’t recognise that Natan
was using her and “paying her” until she realised that he didn’t care about her like she thought her
did. She ignored the warning signs until he said that he knew Agnes was awake when he was raping
Sigga.

“She gave me a stone”

The stone represents a symbol of love. It was given to Agnes by her mother so that she wouldn’t get
lonely and as a way of communication to the ravens, because Agnes’ mother knew that Agnes would
be isolated and lonely. The stone represented her mother’s love even though she left Agnes, she left
the stone, something that would enable Agnes to remember her.

“He needed me like he needed air”

The relationship between Agnes and Natan was based purely of desire and need for love and
attention. Natan used Agnes as a toy and played her while he had affairs behind her back with Rosa
with an excuse of their daughter together, not accepting that he still loved her. Agnes used Natan
because he gave her affection and attention.

PRACTICE RESPONSE QUESTIONS

“I had found what I did not know what I was hungering for.” Above all, burial rites is a story of love.
Discuss.

“Burial Rites shows how important story telling is for both individuals and communities? Discuss.

MARGRET

- Margret is anxious and angry with the arrival of Agnes, as through the stories and rumours
she had heard about Agnes she postulated that she was a “devil” and a “murderess”,
without listening to the truth. Her motherly side appeared, fearful for Steina and Lauga, her
daughters of being harmed, suggesting that “we [they] should send the girls away”, while
Agnes is forced to stay with them, reminding Agnes that she wasn’t welcome, and she was
“forced to being kept”.
- This same motherly instincts Margret’s harsh manner towards Agnes recedes after she
learns about the inhumane treatment of Agnes with physical abuse and deprivation on basic
rights such as food and sanitisation, instead being treated like an animal as Margret
described Agnes’ body as a “terrain of abuse”. Although Margret is harsh towards Agnes, she
doesn’t see her as a monster, but it shown a vulnerable side to Agnes as a human being.
 Kent positions the readers to see a different side to Margret being strong willed in the
patriarchal society and capable of indignation and compassionate towards injustice.
- Margret becomes a motherly figure in Agnes’ life, as she comforts Agnes saying that she
believes that it “wasn’t her fault” regarding the death of Natan and shows a symbol of love
represented by the silver brooch which she gives to Agnes saying that “it’s the least we could
do”, knowing that in the bleak status of women in the community, Agnes had no chance of
survival. Agnes finds her redemption through the relationship she forms with Margret, as
she feels loved for the first time, “you’ll be right my girl…my girl” manifests that love has
been a crucial part of Agnes as through love she was able to seek redemption.

TOTI

- Toti’s young and innocence allowed him to see past Agnes and the misdeeds she has
allegedly committed and devoted himself to ensure that Agnes would “be guided home”.
Toti doesn’t take advantage of the position as Agnes’ “spiritual advisor” and seeks to “save
her” instead of taking Blondal’s advice to simply indoctrinate her to repent for her sins.
- Toti’s position in Agnes’ life isn’t based merely of a “spiritual guide” but also as a “friend”,
despite being criticised by Blondal for the humane treatment of the “accused”. He travelled
to Kornsa repeatedly though the harsh winter in Iceland to listen to Agnes and her story. Toti
treats Agnes as a human, not as a monster and it enables Agnes to find strength and become
redeemed in a sense of knowing that someone knows the truth. Agnes claims that people
think they know you through the rumours and the stories that they have heard and “not by
sitting down and listening to you speak for yourself” but Toti demonstrates this action
without bias or prejudice.
- He helps Agnes in a difficult time where she is vulnerable and comforting her as “the hot
smell of urine” portrays the dire state that Agnes faced before the execution. Toti’s nature
allows him to handle Agnes with care as if she was fragile, reassuring her till her last moment
“with soft hands”, treating her as a human and not as an animal.

NATAN

- Natan and Agnes’ love was damaging to themselves and people around them
- Agnes felt the love and affection that she desired with Natan, allowing her to feel at home,
something that she had been deprived of ever since she was a child and was isolated by her
mother. She didn’t feel lonely as Natan “understands her” and doesn’t oppress her to hide
her love for intellectuality and instead supported her, allowing her to read and “discover
something of the study of science.”
- The tragedy filled love that has made Agnes “feel [she] was enough”, clouded her vision of
the true colours of selfishness and inferiority of Natan. Kent contradicts the idea of Natan
being a ‘herbalist’ and a “healer”, when he also raped women and ‘played’ Agnes telling her
that “he needed [her] like he needed air” and then throwing her out of his workshop in the
harsh winter conditions in the middle of the night naked.
- Agnes was immersed in the feeling of love and the idea of a future with a family that she had
been deprived of that she had failed to see the damage that her relationship had caused her
and the others around them. Natan and Agnes love was one of the detrimental causes of the
tragedy of deaths that had occurred in Burial Rites, and Kent emphasises that the perception
and power of love ultimately destroyed lives.
SYMBOLS:

THE STONE: Given by Agnes mother who tells her “it is a magic stone” which will bring her “good
luck”, and that if she puts in under her tongue she will be able to communicate with the Ravens, so
that Agnes would never be lonely. The stone was also a symbol of love as it was given by her mother
and held significance to her as her mother had left her when she was young. When the stone was
taken away by the guards, they also took Agnes freedom of speech and she lost a part of her
identity.