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"Bech de 2 Anand Cut
"Bech de 2 Anand Cut
0”
INTRO---------
(Do ladki beech mein hogi aur Baki sab stage ke bahar hoge logo ke beech ek circle ke jaise.
Bahar SE wo log bolenge aur andar SE do bandi react karegi)
Deviyo aur sajjano, flight "consumerism" ,Jo ki 'companyo ke badmashiyo' SE lekar apke
'mentality' tak jayegi, mein Aap sabhi ka swagat hai. Hum Kuch hi Der mein apna Safar shuru
karenge isliye Dil tham Kar baithe Jaye.(Tati ki acting Karni hai) Apne electronic gadgets band
Kar le, par is beech apni life jhingalala banane ke liye, Aap samne pade chatasky mein
streetplay Dekh sakte hai. Safar ke dauran Kuch tofani Karne ke liye aap Attendant se chumps
up maang sakte hai. Beech mein koi pareshani ke waqt dimag ki bati jalani ke liye Aapke seat
ke upar se chantos gir jayegi. Apne paroshi ko chup Karne ke liye chentre fresh khila sakte hai
par dhyaan rahe ye jubaan par lagaam lagata hai hantho par nhi. Baki Sab judge baroshe.
Aapke Safar majedar rahe. Dhanyawad.
(Dufli ki beat. Sabhi audience ke beech SE kud Kar andar AA jayenge. Ek circle mein )
RAKTSAMAR
IIT Guwahati ki nukkad natak mandali Hooo Tamache aapke saamne prastut karti hai swalikhit
avam swarachit nukkad natak BECH DE
HO TAMAACHE
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
(During dancing the five people make a circle where pkp- is in the centre. At the
last line the circle jumps at him. But he escapes and everybody gets paused
including pkp.
While all these are happenings , company's head and his two assistant will keep
looking from a distance)
___
(this little sub-scene is dedicated to how companies uses there data to exploit
ourselves)
{company head is sitting on chair like king aur uske saath uske 2 sahayak bhi
honge samne uske ek gola rakha hua hoga jis se wo apne har ek customer hi
information nikal sakta hai}
(Since everyone is paused, head comes to the paused circle and says)
P1:
Naam: Pappu ke papa
Strength: kabhi kabhi unko logicality ke daure padte hain
Weakness: Pappu, pappu aur sirf pappu
Opportunity: Bevakoof (Jhoond says) Yaani jiska assani se kaata jaa sake
Threat: Arey isse kya threat hoga, isse toh consumer forum ka C bhi nahin pata
P2: Arey re, Zukerberg bhaiya ka notification aaya hai. Pappu ke papa ka toh abhi
abhi promoton hua hai.( Use robotic voice)
Head:
Toh kyun na chale apni chaal
Bichaye ek mayajaal
Dikha ke apne database ka kamaal
Kar de pappu ke papa ko behaal
(P2 goes to pkp aur apni chunni pkp se bandh lega aise depression mai kiya tha
“yeh dikha ne ke liye hai ki kis tarah companies logo ko kathputiliyon ki tarah
nachati hai)
P2:
Sir aap kyun khade hain udaas?
Kya aapko chahiye kuch khaas?
Pkp: Tum humko batao ki hum humre pappu ko kon sa tohfa den jisse uska vikas
ho
P2:
Karna chahte hain vikaas?
Toh chhodiye ye bakwaas
Sunaye hamari baat
AUR chaliye hamare Saath
( aukat wali baat samajh nhi AA Raha tha. Wo kyun Kaha ja Raha hai. Isliye poem
badal de.)
Surelicks: (sings, 3-4 people join and surround him and dance) (Asterisk hides
behind him)
Pkp: Arre tujhe hi toh dhund raha tha, kaha tha tu ab tak(emotional hote hue) chal
ab ghar chal.
Pkp usko godi mein uthata hai
Asterisk follows.
P2: Sir aap iski chinta mat kijiye, yeh har achche product ke saath aata hai.
(Meanwhile mime - Boy drinks surelicks everyday but does not grow taller)
Pkp: Chaar mahine ho gaye, arey surelicks, humaare bachche mein koi badlav kyon
nahin aa raha hai?
Surelicks: Sir ye sitara dikh raha hai aapko, sir aapke saath ek chhota sa prank hua
hai...Sir hi bol dijiye sitaare ko.
Pkp: bolte kyun nahi muh mai khoota bandh liye ho kya.
Sitara: Sir, Surelicks is a nourishing drink to be taken alongside a balanced diet and
sufficient exercise. Claims based on study conducted in 1999-2000 comparing
micronutrient enriched beverage vs. non fortified placebo. Claims based on a
recommended daily of 54 g in 14 months.(sir udhar dekhiye camera. Bhaiyya ji,
smile).
(Jhoon confused, bored)
Pkp- Hain???Ye kya bak diya? Humko toh kuchho samagh nahin aaya! Aapko aaya
kya?
Circle: Nahin
Pkp- Toh aap keh rahe hain ki 1 saal tak har roz 12 chammach surelicks pilayen toh
asar dikega?
Sitara- dekho bhai mai hu saccha sitara,
sacchai ka pyara
Jo koi mujhe samaj nahi payega
Bhagwaan ram ki bhati wo bhi duvidha mai pad jayega.
Pkp- bhagwan ram ki bhati matlab ? Ye Kya kissa hai?
Sitara- Bahut samay pehle ki baat hai. Viswamitra, ram aur Lakshman ko
lekar Sita ke swamyar mein janakpuri pahunche. Shart ye thi ki Jo
shivdhanush ko todega, Sita ki wedding usi SE hogi.
CHORUS:-
DHANUS ke bagal mein tha chotu astrik bechara .
TUMHARI tarah Sri ram ne bhi usey ignore mara.
UTHAYA dhanush aur tod Diya usey angrezi beat pe.
UCHHAL pare darshakgan khusi SE apni seat pe.
DEVATAWO ne Shadi mein swarg se phool barsaye.
AUR ayodhya lautte sabne, Nagin dance ki AUR gane bajaye.
LEKAR Aaya toofan, achanak parsuram muye.
DARKE mare sabke, phatke bahattar hue.
GALTI hue Kya?- sabne aapas mein yahi prasn Kiya tha.
ASTRIK uchal Kar Bola - wo dhanush parsuram Ka Diya tha.
JO shivdhanush ko todega,usey parsuram phodga.
WAQT aa gaya ab, tum Sab marathon daurega.
ASTRIK ke naam par hua that unke Saath dhoka.
AB kya yudh Hoga ya dena Hoga parsuram ko paise- ek khokha.
BHAI ki Tarah entry markar tabhi bole sriram- maaf kijiye hume samajh nadan.
APKA gussa hai najayaj, hum they 'terms and conditions’ se agyaan.
NHI mane parsuram; chida yudh, bhaynak us sham.
AJAY they lekin us din parajit hue parsuram.
LAXMAN bola- macha Diya bro. Bacha li Aapne sabki jaan hai. SRIRAM bole-
yup bro. Kabhi Kabhi Lagta hai apan hi bhagwan hai.
Pkp - Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha….
Kya baat Kar rahe ho!
Aisa thodi na hua tha ramayan mai
Sitara - are bhai kahani ke sacchai pe kyon jate ho
Us ka saar toh dekho
Pkp - toh kya hai saar
Sitara - saar yeh hai jo aaj kal koi nahi samaj pata
Baat itni hai bhai sahab ki savdhani hati aur durghatna ghati
Yeh chotu sa sitara kahi pe bhi aapko bhatka sakta hai
(baaki gyan ki baat speech lambi karne ke liye
Kuch bhi bana ke daal sakte hai)
SCENE 3(ab waise toh scene 3 gabbar sambha waala hona
hai par un ke baare mai theek se nahi pata abhi islea us se
abhi nahi daala bas ek baar use digital kar leta baad mai
dekhte uska kya karna hai)
(bills and consumer court)
Rim jhim rim jhim rim jhim
San san saan ye hawa
Tip tip tip tip tip boondhon
Se bachaye yeh umbrella/chaata
(Everyone)
Chaata leloo
Chaata leloo
(Dukandaar)
Chaata lelo
OR
C1- Bhaiya eh chata toh ek din mein toot gaya. Aap koi aur dedo iske badle.
Shopkeeper - Guarantee hai?
C1- Nahin
Shopkeeper - Warranty hai?
C1- Nahin
Shopkeeper - Bill hai?
C1- Nahin
Shopkeeper- Toh kyun kare exchange? Ek toh saste mein leke jaate ho, uske upar
se nakhre!
C1 - bhiya tameez se pesh aao agar chaata exchange nahi hua toh consumer court
mai aap ki complain kar dunga.
Shopkeeper- tu kya agar tera baap bhi complain karega toh bhi mai doosra chaata
nahi dunga tujhe. Chal nikal yaha se.
Kaam ke na kaaj ke
dooshman chatribaaz ke
C-1 - theek hai mai jaata hu consumer court
C1- Sir ek complain darz karani hai. Maine yeh chaata liya tha ram and shyaam
chatri dukaan se. Aur yeh chaata pehle istemaal mein hi toot gaya.
CC - Guarantee hai?
C1- Nahin
CC - Warranty hai?
C1- Nahin
CC - Bill hai?
C1- Nahin
CC- Koi proof hai ki chata kahan se liya?
C1- Nahin
CC- Phir toh bhaiya kuch nahin ho sakta tumhara
(scene opens in train where a vendor is selling bottled water above MRP +5 for
chilled water, location might be BIHAR OR UTTAR PRADESH ;-) )