There are many reasons why interpersonal communications may fail.

In many communications,
the message (what is said) may not be received exactly the way the sender intended. It is,
therefore, important that the communicator seeks feedback to check that their message is clearly
understood.

The skills of Active Listening, Clarification and Reflection may help but the skilled
communicator also needs to be aware of the barriers to effective communication and how to
avoid or overcome them.

There are many barriers to communication and these may occur at any stage in the
communication process. Barriers may lead to your message becoming distorted and you
therefore risk wasting both time and/or money by causing confusion and
misunderstanding. Effective communication involves overcoming these barriers and
conveying a clear and concise message.

Active listening is a skill that can be acquired and developed with practice. However, active
listening can be difficult to master and will, therefore, take time and patience to develop.
'Active listening' means, as its name suggests, actively listening. That is fully concentrating on
what is being said rather than just passively ‘hearing’ the message of the speaker.

Active listening involves listening with all senses. As well as giving full attention to the speaker,
it is important that the ‘active listener’ is also ‘seen’ to be listening - otherwise the speaker may

Effective Listening skills

Listening is a significant part of communication process. Communication cannot take place until and
unless a message is heard and retained thoroughly and positively by the receivers/listeners.
Listening is a dynamic process. Listening means attentiveness and interest perceptible in the
posture as well as expressions. Listening implies decoding (i.e., translating the symbols into
meaning) and interpreting the messages correctly in communication process.

 We listen to obtain information.

 We listen to understand.
 We listen for enjoyment.
 We listen to learn.

Becoming an Active Listener

There are five key active listening techniques. They all help you ensure that
you hear the other person, and that the other person knows you are hearing
what they say.

1. Pay Attention
Give the speaker your undivided attention, and acknowledge the message.
Recognize that non-verbal communication also "speaks" loudly.

 Look at the speaker directly.

 Put aside distracting thoughts.
  Don't mentally prepare a rebuttal!
 Avoid being distracted by environmental factors. For example,
side conversations.
 "Listen" to the speaker's body language .

2. Show That You're Listening

Use your own body language and gestures to convey your attention.

 Nod occasionally.
 Smile and use other facial expressions.
 Note your posture and make sure it is open and inviting.
 Encourage the speaker to continue with small verbal
comments like yes, and uh huh.

3. Provide Feedback
Our personal filters, assumptions, judgments, and beliefs can distort what we
hear. As a listener, your role is to understand what is being said. This may
require you to reflect what is being said and ask questions.

 Reflect what has been said by paraphrasing. "What I'm hearing

is," and "Sounds like you are saying," are great ways to reflect
back.
 Ask questions to clarify certain points. "What do you mean
when you say." "Is this what you mean?"
 Summarize the speaker's comments periodically.

Tip:
If you find yourself responding emotionally to what someone said, say so,
and ask for more information: "I may not be understanding you correctly, and
I find myself taking what you said personally. What I thought you just said is
XXX; is that what you meant?"

4. Defer Judgment
Interrupting is a waste of time. It frustrates the speaker and limits full
understanding of the message.

 Allow the speaker to finish each point before asking questions.

 Don't interrupt with counter arguments.

5. Respond Appropriately
Active listening is a model for respect and understanding. You are gaining
information and perspective. You add nothing by attacking the speaker or
otherwise putting him or her down.
 Be candid, open, and honest in your response.
 Assert your opinions respectfully.
 Treat the other person in a way that you think he or she would
want to be treated.
There are many reasons why interpersonal communications may fail. In many communications,
the message (what is said) may not be received exactly the way the sender intended. It is,
therefore, important that the communicator seeks feedback to check that their message is clearly
understood. The skills of Active Listening, Clarification and Reflection may help but the skilled
communicator also needs to be aware of the barriers to effective communication and how to
avoid or overcome them.

Barriers to effective communication

A communication barrier is anything that prevents you from receiving and understanding the
messages others use to convey their information, ideas and thoughts. Effective communication
involves overcoming these barriers and conveying a clear and concise message.

 The use of jargon. Over-complicated, unfamiliar and/or technical terms.

 Emotional barriers and taboos. Some people may find it difficult to express their emotions
and some topics may be completely 'off-limits' or taboo.
 Lack of attention, interest, distractions, or irrelevance to the receiver.
 Differences in perception and viewpoint.
 Physical disabilities such as hearing problems or speech difficulties.
 Physical barriers to non-verbal communication. Not being able to see the non-verbal cues,
gestures, posture and general body language can make communication less effective.
 Language differences and the difficulty in understanding unfamiliar accents.
 Expectations and prejudices which may lead to false assumptions or stereotyping.
People often hear what they expect to hear rather than what is actually said and jump to
incorrect conclusions.
 Cultural differences. The norms of social interaction vary greatly in different cultures, as
do the way in which emotions are expressed. For example, the concept of personal space
varies between cultures and between different social settings.

A skilled communicator must be aware of these barriers and try to reduce their impact by
continually checking understanding and by offering appropriate feedback.

Effective Listening

It is common, when listening to someone else speak, to be formulating a reply whilst the other
person is still talking. However, this means that we are not really listening to all that is being
said. Even good listeners are often guilty of critically evaluating what is being said before fully
understanding the message that the speaker is trying to communicate. The result is that
assumptions are made and conclusions reached about the speaker's meaning, that might be
inaccurate. This and other types of ineffective listening lead to misunderstandings and a
breakdown in communication.

Becoming an Active Listener

1. Pay Attention. Give the speaker your undivided attention, and acknowledge the message
2. Show That You're Listening. Use your own body language and gestures to convey your
attention.
3. Provide Feedback. Reflect what is being said and ask questions.
4. Defer Judgment. Allow the speaker to finish each point before asking questions.
5. Respond Appropriately. Remember you are gaining information so assert your opinions
respectfully.