Fear: The Dark

What He's Thinking: I can't see what's out there and I feel unprotected in the dark.
How to Help: Most children are afraid of the dark on some level -- it's a very common
fear of the unknown. To combat this fear, try teaching your child how to turn on lights
around the house, and add a night-light to his bedroom.

Fear: Monsters
What He's Thinking: Anything could be lurking under my bed and waiting to hurt me.
How to Help: Even though we all know there's no such thing as monsters, there's no
use telling your toddler that. Toddlers have vivid imaginations that conjure up monsters
in dark corners, shadows, clouds, or just about anywhere. Instead, take his concerns
seriously and help your child prevent monster visits. After you've checked under the bed,
in the closet, and in all corners for existing monsters, fill a spray bottle with water and
ensuring your child that new monsters cannot hurt him once he has sprayed his room.
Tack a "No Monsters Allowed" sign to his door for good measure.

Fear: Weather
What She's Thinking: Loud noises and howling wind is scary -- I need Mom and Dad to
protect me.
How to Help: Helping your child understand weather and even enjoy it is the best way to
combat this fear. Play outside in various conditions so your child can feel what it's like
when it's windy or rainy.

Fear: Bad Dreams

What She's Thinking: I'm afraid to sleep alone because I sometimes have nightmares.
How to Help: Bad dreams and nightmares typify toddlers' struggles with the distinction
between reality and pretend. Toddlers might not be able to verbalize that they had a bad
dream but will show their distress through behaviors including frequent waking,
screaming or crying, telling incoherent stories about things they saw, or saying they are
afraid to go to sleep. Comfort your child after a nightmare with a favorite blanket or
stuffed animal and reassure her that she is safe and you're always there to help.

Fear: Strangers
What She's Thinking: I don't know who you are or what you want from me, so I'm
sticking close to Mom.
How to Help: Fear of strangers is a healthy, protective fear -- children should not go to
people they don't know. The downside comes when your child fears friends or relatives
she doesn't see on a regular basis. Give your child time to get to know someone before
expecting her to interact and be friendly to them. Be by your child's side as she interacts
with new people, and model friendly behaviors yourself.
Fear: Separations
What He's Thinking: Why are you leaving me? What if you never come back?
How to Help: It's normal for toddlers to become anxious or afraid when their primary
caregivers leave. The key: a healthy good-bye routine. Always leave your child with a
trusted and familiar caregiver and have the same brief good-bye routine each time you
go. Help your child get involved in an activity before you leave, and be sure to tell him
good-bye -- don't just sneak away. The good-bye routine can include reassurance that
Mommy always comes back. And once you leave, make every effort not to go back as
this might disrupt your child's transition.

Fear: Masks, Costumes, & Mascots

What She's Thinking: Big and crazy-looking costumes scare me because I don't
understand them and don't know who -- if anyone -- is behind the mask.
How to Help: Toddlers have vivid imaginations and find it difficult to determine what's
real and what's pretend. While it might be fun to have your child's picture taken with the
team mascot, recognize that an oversize dinosaur, tiger, or even rabbit is frightening
because of the disproportion and novelty. Separate out when the moment is for you and
for your child. Never force your child to interact with someone she is afraid of, and
consider having people in costumes remove their masks to reassure her there is a
friendly face inside. You can also help your child adjust to the idea of people in
costumes by playing dress-up with her.

Fear: Doctors & Dentists

What She's Thinking: I don't like my doctor because she gives me shots and takes my
blood and it hurts.
How to Help: A fear of doctors is very common for children of this age. Your child might
freeze when she gets to the waiting room because she associates the location with pain .
Prepare your child in advance for the type of procedures she will experience and offer a
small reward for her cooperation with medical procedures. Read or sing together while
you wait to minimize anxiety and stay with your child during procedures. Congratulate
your child on being brave and strong once the procedure is over.

Teach Him to Manage His Fear

Keep these tips in mind to help your child learn to manage fear on his own:
* Gently expose your child to things that might be scary to him. Coach him and mo del
how to stay calm.
* Explain to your toddler what is real, what is pretend, and how things that might be
scary (storms, toilets) actually work.
* Be honest. If you know something scary is going to happen or that something will hurt,
tell your toddler the truth. He'll learn to confront fears head-on by following your example
and trusting you to tell the truth.
* Manage your own fears, worries, and anxieties without sharing them with your child. In
order to develop confidence and sense of safety, toddlers need to know their caregivers
are calm.
* Read books and tell stories about other children who were afraid of similar things and
overcame their fears. Young children love to hear about other children overcoming
adversity and will likely emulate strong characters.