COL.

LANDA cesspool in hell, the devil

So your Aldo the Apache? reserves
for traitors of her ilk.
LT. ALDO
So your The Jew Hunter?
COL. LANDA
COL.LANDA
Jew Hunter, (pfuit), I'm a (COR'T)
detective. Well, lets just say, she got what
A damn good detective. Finding she deserved. And when you purchase
people is my specialty. So friends like Bridget Von
naturally, Hammersmark,
I worked for the Nazi's finding you get what you pay for.
people. Now as far as your Pisanos,
And yes, some of them were Jews. Sgt.Donowitz, and Pt.Hirschberg-
But Jew Hunter? Just the name that
stuck. LT. ALDO
How do you know our names?
UTIVICH
Well you do hafts admit, it is COL.LANDA
catchy. Lt.Aldo, if you don't think I
wouldn't
COL.LANDA interrogate every single one of
Do you control the nicknames, your your
enemies bestow on you? Aldo the swastika marked survivors... .?
Apache and The Little Man? We simply aren't operating on the
level of mutual respect I assumed.
UTIVICH Now, back to the whereabouts of
What do you mean, The Little Man? your
two Italian saboteurs. At this
COL.LANDA moment, both Hirschberg, and
The Germans nickname for you. Donowitz, should be sitting in the
very seats we left them in. Seats,
UTIVICH 0023 and 0024, if my memory serves.
The Germans nickname for me is, The Explosives, still around
Little Man? there ankle, still ready to
explode. And your mission, some
COL.LANDA would call a terrorist plot, as of
Or "The Little One, ether one means this moment, is still a go.
you. The two Basterds don't believe
And as if to make my point, I'm this. It can't be true.
a little surprised how tall you
were in real life. I mean, your a LT. ALDO
little fellow. But not circus That's a pretty exciting story.
midget What's next, Eliza on the ice?
little, as your reputation would
suggest. COL.LANDA
However, all I have to do, is pick
LT.ALDO pick up that phone right there.
Where is my men? Where is Bridget Inform the cinema, and your plans
Von Hammersmark? kupet.

COL.LANDA LT. ALDO

Bridget Von Hammersmark. Oh I'm IF, their still there, and IF their
sure still alive, and that's one big IF,
she's in whatever, big bubbling there ain't no way, you gonna take
them boys without settin off them
bombs. Killing Hitler, and killing
Goebbels,
and Killing Gerring, and killing
I R.T. Boorman, not to mention winning the
war single handedly for the allies,
COL.LANDA only later, to find myself standing
before a Jewish tribunal.
M
I have no doubt, and yes, some I q
Germans will die., and yes, it will Now they get it.
ruin the evening, and yes, Goebbels
will be very very very mad at you COL.LANDA
for what you've done to his big If you want to win the war,
night. tonight,
But you won't get Hitler, you won't We have to make a deal.
get Goebbels, you won't get Gering,
and you won't get Boorman. And you LT.ALDO
need all four to end the war. What kinda deal?

(PAUSE) COL.LANDA
But if I don't pick up that phone, The kind you wouldn't have the
right there, you may very well get authority to make. However, I'm
all four. And if you get all four, sure
you end the war...tonight. this mission of yours, has a
The Nazi Colonel lifts up the commanding officer? A General, I'm
bottle of Chianti, and fills betting. For ..
three glasses. As he pours, he
says; (THINKING)
.O.S.S. would be my guess.
COL.LANDA Aldo's eyebrows reveal that was a
So gentlemen, lets discuss the good guess.
prospect of ending the war-
tonight. COL.LANDA
All three have their Chianti filled Oooh, that's a bingo. Is that the
glasses. way you say it, That's a bingo?

COL.LANDA LT.ALDO
So the way I see it, since Hitlers You just say, bingo.
death, or possible rescue, rests
solely on my reaction...If I do COL.LANDA
nothing ...it's as if I'm causing Bingo! How fun. But I digress,
his where
death, even more then yourselves. were we? Oh yes, make a deal. Over
Would you agree? there is a very capable two way
radio. And sitting behind it, is a
LT. ALDO more then capable radio operator,
I guess so. named Herrman. Get me somebody on
the other end of that radio with
COL.LANDA the
How about you Uitivich? power of the pen, to authorize my
- Let's call it, the terms of my
UITIVICH conditional surrender, if that
I guess so too. taste
better going down.
COL.LANDA
Good, we more or less, all agree.
Gentlemen, I have no intention, of