GET SHREDDED: YOUR 12 WEEK

STRONGER, FASTER, BETTER

The Best
EGGS,
Nikolaj BEER&
Coster-Waldau HOT SAUCE
On Sex, Strength
and How ON THE
Game of Thrones
Ends
PLANET
The Arms!
Mountain’s
Abs!
TOP Chest!
10
Muscle Tips
FAST
FITNESS
FIXES

MAKE
ARE YOU
ANXIETY GROSS?
YOUR (Maybe!)

SUPERPOWER
See page 42

Your New
Favorite
Jeans
 GRAB
CONFIDENCE
BY THE PACK
04.2019

“IT WAS BRUTAL,

BUT BECAUSE IT WAS
THE LAST SEASON,
IT WAS LIKE, YES, WE
CAN DO THIS.”
—NIKOLAJ COSTER-WALDAU, p. 74

THE FOOD ISSUE

74 THE MAN 80 THE 88 INSIDE 94 THE 100 WHAT
WHO WON’T MEN’S HEALTH THE BURGER FUTURE OF MAKES A
BE KING PLAN FOR WARS FOOD FOOD SUPER?
The (dare we SMARTER The menu staple Small farms Ew, gross.
say true?) EATING has gone are now popping I’ll buy it! How
Game of Thrones We’ve digested from premade up in big cities an almost
star Nikolaj the past 25 years dollar patties (some in unpalatable
Coster-Waldau of nutritional to avocado- literal storage plant tea
is bringing a very know-how so topped gourmet containers), became a
Danish code you can best offerings. and they’re pop-food item,
of ethics to his optimize those But is the new not just here to and why we
post-GoT life. proteins, fats, wave of fast- diversify your still think of
BY ALEX and carbs to casual burgers supermarket. exotic morsels
PAPPADEMAS achieve all your better for us? They’re here to as magic
health goals. BY GEORGE save agriculture. health bullets.
BY PAUL KITA MOTZ BY RICHARD BY ALAN
MARTIN LEVINOVITZ, PH.D.
On the cover and this page: Nikolaj Coster-Waldau photographed by Art Streiber exclusively for
Men’s Health. Styling by Ted Stafford, grooming by Barbara Guillaume using Revive/Forward Artists, set
design by Anthony Altomare, tailoring by Yelena Travkina. On the cover: T-shirt by Banana Republic; jeans
by Polo Ralph Lauren; belt by L.L.Bean; watch by Montblanc. This page: T-shirt by Banana Republic.

PHOTOGRAPH BY ART STREIBER MEN’S HEALTH / April 2019 3


63
THE 20 BEST
FOODS FOR MEN
ALL-STARS
For 20 years, we’ve
been seeking out
the best grocery-
store items for your
nutritional needs.
These are our all-
time favorites. Ice
cream included.
LIFE
31 GoT Style Special:
Every way to wear jeans
now, featuring Gendry
the Blacksmith.
36 GoT Special:
Dating advice from
Cersei. (Wait, um . . .)
38 Ask Her Anything:
Is accidentally peeing
during sex a thing?
40 Why stick-shaped
grooming products
stand out.
41 Cool Dad: My
son thinks I’m a jerk.
And that’s okay-ish.
42 Are you gross?
Better question: Are
your sheets clean?
44 She’s crying, and
you’re just standing
there. What to do.
46 I almost died in
a high-speed supercar
crash. Here’s why
I didn’t.

MIND
51 Turn anxiety into
your own personal
Spidey sense.
54 Like avoiding an ex.
Here’s how to take a
break from your phone.
56 The science-tested
strategies for a mood

MH WORLD BODY
lift, including dogs!
57 Why pain feels kind
9 Your favorite Game 13 How can you train 20 How to drop pounds of good.
of Thrones moments, your abs without the without lifting a weight.
situps? Do the Twist. 60 Dan Harris: Thanks
meet the grandfather 22 Kevin Smith’s funniest for everything! Practice
of keto, our advisor’s 16 GoT Special: How heart attack ever. gratitude, feel happier.
tips on screen time, the Mountain got big.
and ways to ward off 26 How scared should +
back pain. Plus, win a 17 Shoes to make road we be of brain tumors? 104 Above Average
free trip! running less soul (and Guy: Pets!
sole) crushing. 28 Mukbang: Not a sex
move but still fascinating.
18 6 A.M. Club: Nick
Cannon brings a 29 The skinny on fat-
hammer to his workouts. burning supplements.

4 April 2019 / MEN’S HEALTH PHOTOGRAPH BY TED + CHELSEA CAVANAUGH

 Visit & shop Montblanc.com

AVAILABLE AT MACY’S, MACYS.COM & MONTBLANC BOUTIQUES

 Richard Dorment Jack Essig MEET THE
EDITOR-IN-CHIEF SENIOR VICE PRESIDENT/PUBLISHING DIRECTOR
MEN’S HEALTH
Helene F. Rubinstein Executive Managing Editor
Jamie Prokell Creative Director
Chris Peel Executive Director, Men’s & Enthusiast Group
ADVISORY PANEL
ADVERTISING SALES
EDITORIAL NEW YORK (212) 649-2000
Ben Court, Mike Darling Executive Editors Caryn Kesler Executive Director, Luxury Goods
We’d be nothing without our
Jordyn Taylor Deputy Editor John Wattiker Executive Director, Fashion & Retail panel of experts. These are
Ross McCammon Special Projects Editor Doug Zimmerman Senior Grooming Director the doctors, scientists, and
Marty Munson Health Director Joe Pennacchio Eastern Automotive Sales Director
Paul Kita Senior Editor Sara Schiano Integrated Account Director trainers who keep us accurate
Ebenezer Samuel Fitness Director John Cipolla Integrated Account Manager, Southeast and updated on the latest in
Matt Goulet Senior Associate Editor Brad Gettelfinger Sales Manager, Hearst Direct Media
Brett Williams Associate Fitness Editor
health and fitness.
CHICAGO (312) 964-4900
Melissa Matthews Health and Nutrition Writer Autumn Jenks Midwest Sales Director
Joshua St. Clair Editorial Assistant Emily McCoy Midwest Sales Manager BRAIN HEALTH:
P. Murali Doraiswamy, M.D.
LOS ANGELES (310) 664-2801 David Perlmutter, M.D.
ART
Patti Lange Western Ad Director
Leslie Xia Associate Art Director CARDIOLOGY:
Anne Rethmeyer Group Sales Director, Auto
Eric Rosati Designer
SAN FRANCISCO (628) 208-0648 John Elefteriades, M.D.
Sarah Leituala Design Assistant
Andrew Kramer Kramer Media David Wolinsky, M.D.
Steve Fusco Digital Imaging Specialist
DETROIT (248) 614-6120 DERMATOLOGY:
PHOTOGRAPHY Marisa Stutz Detroit Automotive Director Brian Capell, M.D., Ph.D.
Alix Campbell Chief Photography Director, Adnan Nasir, M.D., Ph.D.
Hearst Magazines Samantha Irwin General Manager, Hearst Men’s Group
Sally Berman Deputy Director of Photography Karen Ferber Business Manager EMERGENCY MEDICINE:
Sinikiwe Dhliwayo Associate Photo Editor Paul Baumeister Research Director Jedidiah Ballard, D.O.
Alison Papalia Executive Director, Consumer Marketing Robert Glatter, M.D.
FASHION Chris Hertwig Production Manager Travis Stork, M.D.
Ted Stafford Fashion Director Madeline Bednar, Savannah Bigelow, Zoe Fritz, ENDOCRINOLOGY:
Toni Starrs, Jake Heffez, Erica Miller Sandeep Dhindsa, M.D.
COPY Sales Assistants
Janna Ojeda Assistant Managing Editor EXERCISE SCIENCE:
John Kenney Managing Copy Editor PUBLIC RELATIONS
Martin Gibala, Ph.D.
Alisa Cohen Barney Senior Copy Editor Nathan Christopher Public Relations Executive Director Mark Peterson, Ph.D., C.S.C.S.*D
Connor Sears, David Fairhurst Assistant Copy Editors Kelsey Leiter Public Relations Manager Brad Schoenfeld, Ph.D., C.S.C.S.
GASTROENTEROLOGY:
RESEARCH MARKETING SERVICES Felice Schnoll-Sussman, M.D.
Jennifer Messimer Research Chief Cameron Connors Executive Director,
Darren Reidy Senior Research Editor Head of Brand Strategy and Marketing
INTEGRATIVE HEALTH:
Alex Gardner Researcher Stephanie Block Integrated Marketing Director Brenda Powell, M.D.
Nick Pachelli Assistant Research Editor Sarah Hemstock Integrated Marketing Manager INTERNAL MEDICINE:
Alison Brown Special Events Director Keith Roach, M.D.
CONTRIBUTING EDITORS
Dan Harris, Garrett Munce, Lauren Larson,
PUBLISHED BY HEARST
MENTAL HEALTH:
Michael Easter, Naomi Piercey Thomas Joiner, Ph.D.
Steven R. Swartz President & Chief Executive Officer
William R. Hearst III Chairman Avi Klein, L.C.S.W.
VIDEO William Pollack, Ph.D.
Frank A. Bennack, Jr. Executive Vice Chairman
Dorenna Newton Executive Producer Drew Ramsey, M.D.
Connor Reid Video Producer
Tony Xie Video Producer
HEARST MAGAZINES, INC. NUTRITION:
Troy Young President Chris Mohr, Ph.D., R.D.
Mariah Oxley Social Video Producer
Michael Clinton President, Marketing Mike Roussell, Ph.D.
Angela Kim Executive Director,
and Publishing Director Brian St. Pierre, R.D., C.S.C.S.
Business Development and Global Licensing
Kate Lewis Chief Content Officer
Natanya van Heerden International Editorial & PAIN MEDICINE:
Debi Chirichella Senior Vice President,
Content Analyst Paul Christo, M.D., M.B.A.
Chief Financial Officer and Treasurer
Catherine A. Bostron Secretary
HEARST MEN’S FASHION GROUP David Carey Chairman
SEX & RELATIONSHIPS:
Nick Sullivan Fashion Director Gilbert C. Maurer, Mark F. Miller Publishing Consultants Debby Herbenick, Ph.D., M.P.H.
Matthew Marden Style Director Simon Horne SVP/Managing Director Justin Lehmiller, Ph.D.
Alfonso Fernández Navas Fashion Assistant Asia Pacific and Russia SLEEP MEDICINE:
Richard Bean Director of International Licensing Mary Carskadon, M.D.
HEARST PHOTOGRAPHY GROUP and Business Development
Fabienne Le Roux, Christina Weber Executive Directors
W. Christopher Winter, M.D.
Kim St. Clair Bodden SVP/Editorial & Brand Director
Justin O’Neill, Bruce Perez Directors Chloe O’Brien Deputy Brands Director SPORTS MEDICINE:
Don Kinsella Deputy Director Shelley Meeks Executive Director, Content Services Michael Fredricson, M.D.
Scott M. Lacey, Amy Wong Senior Editors Dan Giordano, D.P.T., C.S.C.S.
Amy Cooper, Tenney Espy Assistants Bill Hartman, P.T.
TRAINING:
Mike Boyle, M.Ed., A.T.C.
Ben Bruno
Alwyn Cosgrove, C.S.C.S.*D
HOW TO REACH US: Customer Service: To change your address, pay a bill, renew your subscription, and more, go online to David Jack
menshealth.com/customer-service, email mhlcustserv@cdsfulfillment.com, or write Men’s Health Customer Service, P.O. David Otey, C.S.C.S.
Box 6000, Harlan, IA 51593-1500. Editorial offices: 300 W. 57th Street, New York, NY 10019. Feedback: mhletters@hearst Don Saladino
.com. Licensing & Reprints: Contact Wyndell Hamilton, Wright’s Media, (281) 419-5725, ext. 152, hearst@wrightsmedia
.com. Absolute satisfaction guaranteed. Scent-free subscription available on request. From time to time we make our
UROLOGY:
subscriber list available to companies that sell goods and services by mail that we believe would interest our readers.
Elizabeth Kavaler, M.D.
If you would rather not receive such mailings by postal mail, please send your current mailing label or exact copy to: Men’s
Larry Lipshultz, M.D.
Health, Mail Preference Center, P.O. Box 6000, Harlan, IA 51593-0128. WEIGHT LOSS:
David Katz, M.D., M.P.H., FACPM, FACP
Men’s Health carries the latest health, fitness, and nutrition reporting to provide you with Men’s Health is a Jeff Volek, Ph.D., R.D.
useful information about your health. But every body is different; individual diagnoses registered trademark of
and treatments can come only from a health care practitioner. Printed in USA. Hearst Magazines Group, Inc.

6 April 2019 / MEN’S HEALTH

 Raise one
TO THOSE WHO NEVER
L E T Y O U D O W N.

Jim Beam Black® Kentucky Straight Bourbon Whiskey, 43% Alc./Vol. ©2019 James B. Beam Distilling Co., Clermont, KY.
 A banking experience
you’ll actually enjoy.
Surprising, right?
ĕĝĤěħĥĝĬħāęĨġĬęĤčĦĝāęĞīġĦĮġĬġĦğĨĤęěĝīįġĬĠ
ĨĝħĨĤĝĠĝĪĝĬħĠĝĤĨıħĭĦħĬīĝĤĤıħĭđĬħĨĚıęĤħěęĬġħĦ
ĬħĠęĦĜĤĝıħĭĪĝĮĝĪıĜęıĚęĦģġĦğĦĝĝĜīħĪğħħĦĤġĦĝ
ĬħĤĝęĪĦĥħĪĝWelcome to Banking Reimagined.®

čljĝĪĝĜĚıāęĨġĬęĤčĦĝČÿċĝĥĚĝĪĄĂćāāęĞīĜħĦħĬĨĪħĮġĜĝĬĠĝīęĥĝīĝĪĮġěĝīęīĚęĦģĚĪęĦěĠĝīĚĭĬĠęĮĝÿĒċīęĦĜęīīħěġęĬĝīįĠħěęĦĠĝĤĨıħĭāęĞīęĮęġĤęĚĤĝġĦīĝĤĝěĬĤħěęĬġħĦī
ąħĬħĤħěęĬġħĦīěęĨġĬęĤħĦĝěħĥĞħĪĤħěęĬħĪĄħħĜęĦĜĚĝĮĝĪęğĝīĨĪħĮġĜĝĜĚıęĬĠġĪĜĨęĪĬıƣ! (āęĨġĬęĤčĦĝ
 BEHIN D THE
SCEN ES W ITH
THE EX PERTS,
A DV ISORS,
A N D R E A DERS
W HO BR ING

@wayfast123
Hodor, you know,
holding the door.
PictureLux/The Hollywood Archive/Alamy (Stark), MACALL B. POLAY/HBO (Viper), AF Archive/Alamy (Hodor), MACALL B. POLAY/HBO (Mountain), courtesy HBO (dog), courtesy HBO (Night King)

@RDADDYLOC
One of my favorites
is when they go
to collect a White
from beyond the
wall. All those char-
acters together
was bad ass. Also
Sansa feeding
those big ass dogs
@stlbhop a Ramsay buffet.
The Mountain
squishing that
dude’s head.

OF TH
ME R
GA

ON
ES
M
E

N
H

’S T
MH@TWITTER H E A L

Let the Games Begin The next, and

final, season of
the epic series
You might notice throughout this issue that we’ve got a few of premieres on
our favorite stars from Game of Thrones popping up, HBO on April 14.

the cover being only the most noticeable place. In anticipation

of winter’s final arrival, we asked you to recount the greatest
moments of brute badassery on TV’s most brutal show.

MEN’S HEALTH / April 2019 9

 WORLD
MH ADVISOR SPOTLIGHT
MEET P. MURALI DORAISWAMY, M.D.
Our expert on all things neurology
is a professor at Duke University
and member of the Duke Institute
for Brain Sciences. This is the
question he gets asked all the time:
Q. Is
screen time
changing my kids’
brains, and should I
be worried?
A. The Adolescent Brain
Cognitive Development
Study, a landmark research
project from the NIH about
factors affecting adolescent
brain development, found
that greater time spent on
screens was correlated with
reduced thickness in some
brain areas, especially those
underlying visual processing.
But it’s too soon to attribute a
cause-and-effect relationship
between screen time and
brain disease. That said, we
do know that most gaming
and social-media applications
are designed as “superstimuli”
WHERE TO
FIND US
We’re on all your Instagram & Twitter
favorite platforms. @menshealthmag
10 April 2019 / MEN’S HEALTH
READER RESPONSE
The Other Keto
Predecessor,
Not Named Atkins
WHEN MY husband
and I read Michael
Easter’s story (“Keto
Nation,” January/February
’19), we were surprised that
the Stillman diet wasn’t
mentioned. It was basically
the same premise as keto
and was popular starting in
1967. I followed it in 1970 to
lose 14 pounds in 14 days. I
think Dr. Stillman should
have gotten a little mention.
—KIM C., Diamond Bar, CA
MEN’S HEALTH TWITTER POLL
Who makes the best
fast-casual burger?
to prey on our addictive
vulnerabilities. During normal
child development, brain
regions involved in resisting
such stimuli usually mature
at a slower rate than regions
involved in exploring new
Five Guys
stimuli. This is one reason kids
Smashburger
are more prone to addictions.
Based on 10,237 Twitter responses
Studies suggest excess
screen time for kids may raise
the risk of Internet addiction
as well as cyberbullying, sleep
problems, and depression.
It may also reduce their time
to form meaningful real-
world relationships, which
is essential for a child. For very
young children, limit screen
time to one to two hours per
day. For older kids, you can set
wider limits and encourage
cell-phone-free times.
YouTube & Pinterest Facebook
/menshealthmag /menshealth
A little mention
for Dr. Stillman: SWEEPSTAKES!
Created in 1967 by
Irwin Maxwell Stillman and HIT THE TRAIL
described in his book The
Doctor’s Quick Weight Loss ON A WESTERN
Diet, the Stillman diet pushed
low-carb, high-protein meal
GETAWAY
programs designed to quickly E N T E R FO R YO U R C H A N C E TO
cut pounds. One of the first W I N $ 1 0,0 0 0.
of its kind, it’s been criticized
for potential dangers,
including inducing vitamin Take the ultimate
deficiency. Happy, Kim? ranch vacation, for you
and your friends. One
The Voorhes (keto sign), Denver Post/Getty Images (Stillman), Diane39/iStock (people riding horses), KYLE HILTON (Doraiswamy illustration), olgna/iStock (burger), Phillip Friedman (Eb’s DVD)
winner will get to fulfill
his John Wayne dreams
and even buy the boots
to match with a $10,000
prize, on us. Visit ranch
.menshealth.com to
enter.
NO PURCHASE NECESSARY TO ENTER OR
WIN. $10,000 DREAM BIG SWEEPSTAKES.
Sponsored by Hearst Communications,
Inc. Beginning January 31, 2018 at 12:01
AM (ET) through January 31, 2020 at 11:59
PM (ET), go to www.menshealth.com on a
computer or wireless device and complete
and submit the entry form pursuant to the
on-screen instructions. One (1) Winner will
receive a check for $10,000. Important
Notice: You may be charged for visiting
the mobile website in accordance with the
terms of your service agreement with your
63%
9%
23%
Shake Shack
5%
carrier. Odds of winning will depend upon
the total number of eligible entries received.
Open to the legal residents of the 50 United
States and the District of Columbia, who are
BurgerFi thirteen years of age or older in their state or
territory of residence at time of entry. Void
to @MensHealthMag.
in Puerto Rico and where prohibited by law.
Sweepstakes subject to complete official
rules available at www.menshealth.com.
MH AT HOME
Eb’s Got a DVD!
FOR A JACKED PHYSIQUE, ditch
the heavy weights and try these five
30-minute home workouts from fitness
director Ebenezer Samuel in our DVD
series, New Rules of Muscle. Pick up
a copy at MensHealth.com/ebsnewrules.
Follow, tweet, comment, like, respond, and
tag us. You could be featured in MHWorld.
On the web And send us your feedback at MHletters@hearst
menshealth.com .com. Letters may be edited for length and clarity.
 ASK LEVI
MEN’S DEMOUR-IOZZO:
STATS
HEALTH AGE: 23
You’ve got questions. LOCATION:
We’ve got experts.
Sault Ste. Marie, Ontario
I’ve had a lower-lumbar back OCCUPATION:
injury for about eight years. I’m a
firefighter and I was told to wait Financial consultant
on surgery. But now I’m struggling BEFORE WEIGHT: 275
with discomfort and weight gain BELLY OFF! CLUB AFTER WEIGHT: 175
and I’ve had a hard time making A NEW YEAR’S EVE–
strength gains. What do I do? INSPIRED
—DANIEL W., Cincinnati, OH

TREATMENT ALWAYS depends on the MRI.

TRANSFORMATION
The first thing you want to do is get another
evaluation, just to make sure nothing has
The Setback per. It was time to do some- Levi’s new workout
changed and that you don’t need surgery. If routine inspired him
I hurt my back during my thing. I was going to make
surgery isn’t needed, start focusing on mobil- to reenroll in school.
senior year of high school that coat fit by New Year’s
ity and stability. This means keeping your
while performing a max squat. Eve. That’s how it began.
hips and the muscles around your pelvis
That became my downfall;
mobile. You can do this using a foam roller The Food The Reward
I used the injury as an excuse
or just by stretching. Target your hip flexors, I stuck to fish, chicken, salad, Losing weight was a huge
to skip exercising. Then I
quads, and glutes. For stability and strength- and vegetables. I was still help relieving stress on my
dropped out of university,
ening, focus on the hips. This stabilizes the working at a restaurant, so back. Doing the workouts also
feeling mentally and physi-
pelvis and relieves pressure on the lumbar I made sure to avoid burgers became fun. They became
cally lost. I was a 19-year old
spine. When you lift, maintain a neutral spine and pastas. Just these simple my hobby and they’ve made
dropout at 275 pounds and
position while strengthening the core. Avoid decisions really helped. me more disciplined. I wasn’t
working as a server. After each
movements that have a dynamic rotation or a great student. After the
shift, I’d go to bars but I was
that cause you to lean backward or forward. The Fitness weight loss, I’ve become
brutal with girls—I couldn’t
They cause pressure on the lower spine. Keep I wanted something to burn much more diligent.
talk to them if my life depend-
the back neutral when deadlifting and plank- fat and keep me focused—
ed on it. I had no confidence The Advice
ing. Don’t use barbells on your back. Instead, a full program I could follow.
or self-esteem. When I was working out one
do kettlebell squats, keeping the core tight. I found Max Workouts circuit
As for the weight gain, I recommend that peo- programs by Shin Ohtake. day, a muscular guy asked me
The Wake-up Call about my routine. “That looks
ple with both weight gain and back pain see a It was November. A friend It was high-intensity, fast-
nutritionist. Weight shifts your center of grav- paced—no rest between really hard,” he said. “Keep
and I were talking about New
ity and puts more pressure on your back. sets, only a one-minute rest up the good work.” That
Year’s Eve plans and what we
between each of the five really motivated me. Offering
The Expert: Daniel Giordano, D.P.T., C.S.C.S. were going to wear. I took out
rounds. After the first 12 encouragement, and being
Bespoke Treatments a coat from high school, but I
weeks, I’d lost 40 pounds. open to it, was huge.
couldn’t even pull up the zip-

MOVIE
THE Avengers: Endgame
Entertainment Pictures/Alamy (Avengers still), Boston Globe/Getty Images (marathon)

APRIL 26

GAME PLAN
A few things we’re looking
forward to this month.
BOOK
The Impossible Climb
OUT NOW!
An insidery, literary, adrenaline-
soaked account of Alex Honnold’s free
solo of El Capitan by his close friend
and fellow climber Mark Synnott. It’s riv-
eting, mind-blowing stuff that stretches
your imagination.
—BEN COURT, executive editor
The title and the Web tell you that this
is the last ride for the original Aveng-
ers. Except then there’s this prob-
lem: When Tony Stark and Co. bring
back half the universe’s population
and finally eliminate Thanos, how are
we not going to want an encore?
—EBENEZER SAMUEL, fitness director
RACE
The Boston Marathon
APRIL 15
Can this year’s iconic race beat last
year’s win by “Yuki Kawauchi who?”
or the pit-stop-with-your-teammate-
and-go-on-to-win Desiree Linden
episode? The reigning marathon
champs return in 2019, but anything
can happen on race day.
—MARTY MUNSON, health director

MEN’S HEALTH / April 2019 11

 SWITCH.
SWISH.
SAVE.
While the adrenaline is is up,
and you’re putting together your
bracket, savings could be on the
schedule.

Find out how much you could save

on car insurance with GEICO. Get a
fast, free quote today.

JHLFRFRP__/RFDO2IĆFH

Some discounts, coverages, payment plans and features are not available in all states, in all GEICO companies, or in all situations. March Madness, NCAA are official trademarks of the National Collegiate Athletic Association.
GEICO is a registered service mark of Government Employees Insurance Company, Washington, DC 20076; a Berkshire Hathaway Inc. subsidiary. GEICO Gecko image © 1999-2019. © 2019 GEICO
 18 ................. THE 6 A .M. WOR KOU T:
N ICK C A N NON
20 ..................... 30-DAY TR IM DOW N
22 K EV IN SMITH’S
.............................
TR A NSFOR M ATION STORY
29 ................... HOW FAT “BU R N ING”
ACT UA LLY WOR KS

WeckMethod’s hockey-
player skater will carve
your core. But you
won’t even know it.

IT LOOKS LIKE a gladiator moment,

Maximus about to crash through
a wall. The athlete is off-balance on one
foot, club back, momentum ready to fly
the other way. It must be the middle of a
brawl—not the middle of an ab session.
But ask David Weck, the guy who cre-
ated the Bosu balance ball and a cofounder
of the WeckMethod Performance Train-
ing Center in San Diego, how to build the
perfect six-pack and he’ll point you to this
exact move, called a hockey-player skater

YOUR NEW
(HPS), which can etch detail into your abs
and fire up your obliques.
The HPS is one of the moves from a
new ab-training approach, Coiling Core,

SIX-PACK
which Weck has honed for the past half
decade. And if you unlock its secrets—
as many MLB stars, hockey players, and
UFC fighters have—you’ll find rotational
power and ab strength.

STRATEGY
It’s core training for people who don’t
love training their core, and it got its
start at WeckMethod,

LAUREN BEDOSKY explores the

Coiling Core training style that
takes focus (far) off your abs.

PHOTOGRAPHS BY ALLIE HOLLOWAY MEN’S HEALTH / April 2019 13

 BODY

the 8,000-square-foot gym that Weck

and Marty Shannon opened in 2015. The Crush Your Core!
gym’s goal was, in Weck’s words, “the Add one or two of these Coiling Core moves to your workout twice a
quest for better movement. And when week to supercharge your abs and improve performance in other
you’re in that long enough, you make exercises, too. Whatever moves you choose, take your time. After
pivotal discoveries.” each rep, try to dig your left elbow into your right hip and vice versa.
One of the first was Coiling Core, (This aggressive contraction creates the “coil.”) Then do the next rep.
which Weck and his team observed in Add speed to the moves only once you’ve learned to properly coil.
sprinters. “Coiling Core is basically the
distillation of rotational balance and
power,” he says. “The highest expression 1. Bailer
of that is sprinting.” Hold a light club,
a medicine ball, or a
Sprinters use their entire bodies to
5-pound dumbbell with
explode forward, but watch them closely. both hands and assume
They don’t simply run straight ahead. an athletic stance. Hold
Their heads bob back and forth slightly. it out in front of you, then
Why? Because they’re creating forward rotate your entire torso
down and to the left,
energy with rotation, says Weck. swinging the implement
Among the key movers in that subtle that way and bending
rotation are your lats, the fan-shaped your left knee slightly.
muscles in your back. And here’s where Twist your right elbow to-
ward your left hip as you
the six-pack part comes in: Your lats are
lower. Pause, then swing
part of your core, even though most ab the weight upward, as if
workouts ignore them. “They’re the big- swinging a golf club, ris-
gest, strongest core muscles,” says Weck. ing onto your left foot as
“They bridge the hips to the shoulders.” you do. That’s 1 rep; do
3 sets of 6 to 8 per side.
You can use your lats to create explosive
contractions of your abdominals, which
is what you do during one of the toughest
feats of Coiling Core, the HPS. First, your
core has to fire powerfully to rotate your
torso all the way to one side, and your lats
finish off that rotation, pulling your torso
further. Then your legs wind up turned
one way and your torso the other, creating
a “coil.” A powerful core contraction
“springs” you the other way.
You can’t get these contractions by
doing situps. “It’s hard to involve your lats
when lying down,” says Shannon. Coiling
Core moves require you to stand. They
also involve a light tool, such as a club or
a medicine ball, which you swing to pro-
duce momentum. “Creating rotation with
a lighter weight has effective carryover to
sports,” says trainer Andy Speer, C.S.C.S.
That will help you in your favorite week-
end sports, like softball and even Frisbee.
Expect your first HPS to feel unnatural.
You start by taking large lateral hops
forward. Every time you land on your
right leg, you swing the club (or med ball)
to the right. As soon as you complete that 2. Land-Mine Coiling Press
swing, you hop to the left, following with Stand in front of a barbell set in a land mine, your right hand
Grooming: Nathan Rosenkranz

a swing to the left. Three sets of eight such
leaps will leave your core on fire. Take
your time, says Shannon, with all Coiling
Core moves. “Think of each step as one
rep, then contract,” he says. “Then do the
next rep. Be intentional.”
gripping the fat end of the barbell, your left hand gripping the
plate. Step back with your left leg, then rotate the barbell toward
your right side. Now explosively rotate the barbell overhead and
press it up with your right hand. As you do this, jump slightly and
switch your feet; your right foot should be behind you and your
left foot in front, with most of your weight on the left leg. That’s
1 rep; do 3 sets of 6 to 8, alternating reps on each side.

14 April 2019 / MEN’S HEALTH

3. Battle-Rope
Coiling Rainbow
Stand gripping the ends of a
heavy battle rope, held at your
chest. Step your left foot back,
then twist your torso over your
right knee. Pause, then explosively
raise both arms overhead with the
battle rope, jumping in the air.
Switch your foot position as you
do this so that you land with your
right foot back and your left foot in
front of you, knee bent. Slam the
battle rope down over your left
knee. That’s 1 rep; do 3 sets of 8 to
10, alternating sides every rep.
Switch feet
before you
slam the rope.

4. Coiling Med-Ball Slam

Stand a few yards away from a wall,
holding a medium-weight medicine ball
at your chest with both hands. Step your
left foot back, then twist your torso to the
right. Uncoil your body, hurling the med-
icine ball forward; as you do this, jump
slightly and switch your feet so that you
land with your right foot behind you and
your left foot in front of you, knee bent,
weight primarily on your left leg. That’s
1 rep; do 3 sets of 6 to 8 per side.

5. Double Swing and Switch

Stand tall while holding a medicine ball or
2 clubs in front of your chest with both hands.
Bend your right knee slightly, then step your
left foot back so you’re on your toes, with most
of your weight on the front leg. Pull the medi-
cine ball or clubs back and down toward your
right hip, trying to touch it with your left elbow.
Switch feet Swing the weight upward and toward your left
as you swing side. As you do this, jump and switch your feet,
the clubs. landing with your left leg in front. That’s 1 rep;
do 3 sets of 8 to 10.

MEN’S HEALTH / April 2019 15

 BODY OF TH
ME R

GA

ON
ES
HOW I GOT MY BODY

M
Becoming the Strongest

E
N

H
’S T
H E A L

The muscle moves, mind-set, and meal plan (plus the tattoos!)
that turned Iceland’s THOR BJÖRNSSON into the World’s Strongest
Man—and literally the biggest star on Game of Thrones.
Weight of Björnsson’s
dumbbell: 242 pounds!

1. FINISH
YOUR REPS
How does the World’s 4.BATTLE BACK
Strongest Man stay “At the beginning of my career,
tough through final I grew so fast that I damaged
bench-press reps and a nerve in my forearm,” he
tattoos alike? Family. says. “I had to have it fixed, so
“I think about every- 1 4
I have a scar on my left arm
thing I’ve done—all from having surgery.” When
the hard work, sweat, you beef up your body to
and tears,” he says. 430-plus pounds of Strongest
“And I think about Man horsepower, there are
my daughter [The- consequences.
resa] to get through
tough tattoos.”

2. EAT WITH A
SIXTH SENSE
Björnsson plays Gregor
Clegane on Game of Thrones,
a character so massive he’s
known as the Mountain. But
he wasn’t always this big. He
fell in love with strongman
competition in 2009, and to
gain weight, he ate everything
in sight. Now 30 and more
than 430 pounds, he uses dif-
ferent kitchen tactics: “What
can I eat to become a better
athlete, not just bigger?” he
says. His game plan: six meals
daily, starting with six eggs, six
pieces of bacon, and oatmeal.
Oh, and white rice. “It is easy
for me to digest. It allows me to
eat more often.”
5. FIND A REASON
The Mountain has
16 tattoos, including
his workout inspira-
tion on his left shin:
“There is no reason
to be alive if you
2 can’t do deadlift.”
“It’s what the late
Jón Páll Sigmarsson
exclaimed while setting
an axle-deadlifting
3 record, 523 kilograms
[1,153 pounds],”
Björnsson says. “He
was the first Icelander
to become the World’s
Strongest Man and
won the title a total of
four times. He was,
and is, to this day, an
inspiration to me.”

3. PUSH YOUR 5 6. BE THE WALKING FED

Björnsson eats every two
DEADLIFTS hours, and processing all
Björnsson, who’s
that grub isn’t easy. So
deadlifted more than
he uses his legs to help his
1,000 pounds, has
stomach. “I often walk for
no magic tips for his
10 to 15 minutes after eating,”
trademark exercise.
he says. “I find it has a very
His best advice: “Push
positive effect on my body.”
and pull.” You may
Research backs that:
think of “pulling” the
Studies have shown that
bar upward when you 6 taking a walk after a meal
deadlift, but Björnsson
can help control blood
wants you “pushing”
sugar and also quickly push
the ground away with
Richie Hopson

food from the stomach into

your feet, which will
the small intestine.
help you keep your hips
lower to the ground.

16 April 2019 / MEN’S HEALTH

 BODY

o
Time to B unce
New foams and design make today’s best sneakers more responsive,
and mean running on the road is easier on your knees than ever.

Salomon Predict RA Nike Air Zoom Pegasus 35 Shield

Grooves through the firm midsole follow the major joints of The 35th version of Nike’s 10.2-ounce workhorse runner
your foot, dividing the 9.1-ounce shoe into segments that sports a water-repellent upper and new Zoom foam in the
match the areas where your foot flexes. $160; salomon.com midsole, which is light, durable, and springy. $130; nike.com

Reebok Forever Floatride Energy Brooks Adrenaline GTS 19

Featuring a new foam that compresses more and rebounds Beefier than most running kicks, this 11-ouncer has firm
with more force than other foams, this 8.7-ounce shoe is midsole rails that guide your foot strike and reduce stress
plush and lively. $100; reebok.com on your knees. $130; brooksrunning.com

New Balance Fresh Foam 1080v9 Skechers GoRun Razor 3 Hyper

Great for wide-footed runners, this 10.3-ounce shoe has a At 6.4 ounces and with a new, ultralight foam made using
bootee-like upper and a thick layer of laser-perforated liquid carbon dioxide, this shoe is designed for up-tempo
Trevor Raab

foam that cushions every step. $150; newbalance.com workouts and racing. $135; skechers.com

MEN’S HEALTH / April 2019 17

 BODY
REALLY LOVES TOTALLY HATES
Strongman Moves Squats
“Anything to get core strength “Everybody’s always making
I love. We do a lot of stuff with fun of my legs. But I hate
tires and wheelbarrows.” doing squats.”
BREAK OF BRAWN 1 Cable crunch
Fix a rope attach-
ment to a shoulder-
height cable column.
Bodyweight ab workouts take you only Kneel in front of it,
grasping the rope
so far. That’s why Cannon chisels his so its handles are
core with weight-room moves. He ends near your ears, torso
still upright. Pull your
most workouts with this ab crusher
elbows to your knees.
from trainer Arron Sain. “Weighted ab Reverse the move.
That’s 1 rep. Do 4 sets
exercises provide resistance and aid of 25. Rest 30 seconds
in muscle growth,” says Sain. between sets.
18 April 2019 / MEN’S HEALTH
6:00 A.M. W/
America’s
Fittest Emcee
Nick Cannon’s
early-morning workout is as
wild as his career.
BY ANDREW HEFFERNAN, C.S.C.S.
T
HE ONLY THING in front of him is a pile of cin-
der blocks, an empty parking lot, and a three-
foot-high cinder-block wall. And for some
reason, this has Nick Cannon grinning. He grabs
a pair of 30-pound concrete slabs, hoists them onto his
shoulders, and starts lunging toward the wall. Once
there, he stacks the blocks on the wall, then trudges
back toward the pile. “This,” he says, “is great.”
The metaphor can’t go unacknowledged—and
it was Cannon’s idea. To spice up his workouts, he
bought more than 100 cinder blocks and made
a small wall out of them in the parking lot at his
Ncredible Studios office in Los Angeles. Every few
days, he breaks it down, unstacking the blocks and
rebuilding the wall in a new spot 30 feet away.
“It’s the mental side of training,” Cannon says.
“You’re breaking a wall down, building it up.”
And it’s only one of many unorthodox moves that
the 38-year-old host and producer of Fox’s sleeper
hit The Masked Singer packs into his workout on this
rain-splattered morning at the gym just outside his
studio. This isn’t a normal workout. But by Cannon’s
rationale, he’s spent his whole career working hard
in Hollywood, so why not do it in the gym? It’s some-
thing he learned from Will Smith when he was the
opening act for Smith’s concerts as a teenager.
“Will Smith told me, ‘Even if you’re not the most
talented person in the room, you still need to outwork
the most talented person in the room,’ ” he says.
2 D-bell bench V-up
Sit on a bench with
your legs hanging off
3 Rainbow leg raise
Hang from a pull-
up bar, legs straight,
one side and your torso toes together. Raise
off the other, a light
dumbbell on the floor
your feet in a wide
arc to the right, then
wedged between your upward in front of
feet. Hold the edges your torso. Lower
of the bench and lean them in a wide arc to
Grooming: Kase C. Glenn
back. Lift the dumbbell the left, then return
and pull your knees to to the start. That’s
your chest. Reverse 1 rep. Do 4 sets of
the move. That’s 1 rep. 12, alternating direc-
Do 4 sets of 25. tions each rep.
PHOTOGRAPHS BY IAN MADDOX
 Hummer drags (above) and cinder-block work have
helped Cannon pack on nine pounds in the past six months.
BETWEEN SETS
Regular diet? so now that I’m an in New Jersey
Cannon’s training reminds him of the effort he “I eat during adult, I like to have who has a ninjutsu
needs at the office—as well as what he’s capable of. workouts. Since I it around. I have school. He’s dope.”
Before his 90-minute grind is done, he’ll smack a tire don’t like to eat, it candy stores in my
with a 15-pound sledgehammer, do sets of upside- kind of makes it an house. I’m build- Beverage of choice?
down pullups, and drag his 6,500-pound Hummer exercise, because ing a candy store “Water saved my
across the parking lot. “You pull that truck,” he says, otherwise, like life. It’s the fuel
downstairs. It’s
“and you feel like you could move a mountain. I feel sitting down and more like to have that keeps you
like a new human after a workout.” eating, I never going. Just like
it, like an arcade.”
Cannon’s dedication to his health started when finish my food. I two gallons a day.
he was hospitalized while vacationing in Aspen in eat a lot of salmon, Workout hero? There’s a reason
2012. He was later diagnosed with lupus, an incur-
broccoli, and rice.” “Bruce Lee. I do tae they call it the
able autoimmune condition. That began a year of kwon do—where fountain of youth
meds, chemotherapy, and a diet free of meat and pro- Favorite cheat food? I started—kung and not the desert
cessed foods. When he recovered, Cannon adopted “I love candy. I fu, and ninjutsu. of youth. It’s defi-
the crack-of-dawn body blast. “I’m doing this to stay couldn’t have it I study with Greg nitely water that’s
alive,” he says. when I was a kid, Duncan, a sensei the key to life.”
Working on his wall centers him.
“It’s a meditation,” says his trainer
Arron Sain. It can be monotonous, but
it’s uncomplicated—a perfect foil to
hosting The Masked Singer, recording NICK’S PLAYLIST
and collaborating with artists under
the title Ncredible Gang, and leading
# Title Artist
conversation on his YouTube show
1 “NoBody Else” Ncredible Gang
about college, Cannon’s Class.
He’s constantly running between 2 “Solid” The Black Squad
projects on next to no sleep. “I don’t 3 “Diddy Dum Dum” Hitman Holla
like to live by man’s clock,” he says. 4 “Lifestyles of the Justina Valentine
Sick and Brainless”
Unless the clock says 5:00 A.M., pre-
cisely when his daily workout begins. 5 “Short Summer” Joe Budden
“Just knowing I’m out here getting it 6 “Hit ’Em Up” 2Pac
in, that makes me feel like I’m doing 7 “Victory” Notorious B. I. G.
more than most,” he says.
Then he hoists another block.

MEN’S HEALTH / April 2019 19

 BODY
THE MH ULTIMATE SERIES

Your Ultimate Fat-Thrasher

THE FIGHT AGAINST fat never ends. Most body with so much variety that you just can’t stop sweating.
MATE T
TI guys beat it by running from Oreos and any- His three-times-a-week workout will have you moving in ways
EN
UL

thing else that tastes good—or plain run- you didn’t think possible. The challenge of his new moves will
03 10
ning for hours. According to trainer Gideon stimulate your metabolism (and your mind), revving your
H
M

N’ Akande, N.A.S.M., there’s another way to heart rate for major calorie burn.
T

S HEAL
E

burn fat. And the process doesn’t have to be Workouts like this one are exactly what Akande used to
that joyless, which is what you’ll learn in this month’s workout. get into fighting shape (and stay lean) during his days as
Akande, who created Men’s Health’s Riptensity body- a Chicago Golden Gloves champ. They can do the same for
weight-conditioning workout video, wants you to hit your you, too. —EBENEZER SAMUEL, C.S.C.S.

DIRECTIONS:
Do this workout 3 or 4 times a week.
Stay active on all other days, aiming
to at least take a half-hour walk.

THE WARMUP
Do 3 minutes of plank walkouts, working
for 45 seconds of each minute and resting
for just 15.

1  Plank Walkout
Start standing, then
place your hands on the
floor. Keeping your core
tight, walk your hands for-
ward (a) until you’re in plank
position (b). (If you bent your
knees to put your hands on
the floor, straighten them
now.) Pause. Walk your hands
back to your feet and stand
up. That’s 1 rep.

your weight to the right leg. Bend at the hips,

push your butt back, and straighten your left
leg (a). Press back to the start explosively and
drive your right knee into the air, jumping (b).
Land softly. That’s 1 rep; do 30 seconds of reps
on your right leg, then 30 seconds on your left.

EB SAYS:
“Keep the shin of
your lunging leg
Grooming: Nathan Rosenkranz at Honey Artists

(Start) (a) perpendicular to the

floor; this will safe-
guard your knees.”

SHORTS BY
Rhone;
SNEAKERS BY
APL.
(b) (a) (b)

20 April 2019 / MEN’S HEALTH PHOTOGRAPHS BY ALLIE HOLLOWAY

3  Modified
V-Sit to V-Sit
Start lying on your
5  Pushup to Croc Roll
Start in pushup position (a). Lower
your chest to the floor. As you push up, lift
back, arms extended your right arm and flip over so your chest is
overhead. Press your facing upward. (You’ll need to lift your right
lower back into the leg, too.) Once you’ve flipped over, bend at
floor. Lift your torso the hips, sitting into the position (b). Pause.
and legs, trying to Flip back to return to the start. That’s 1 rep;
touch your knees to alternate sides with each rep.
your chest (a). Return
to the start, then lift
your torso and legs
again; this time, keep
your legs straight (b)
and try to touch your
hands to your toes
(b). Return to the
start. That’s 1 rep. (a)

(a)

(Start)

4  Squat Pulse to Squat Jump

Start standing, feet shoulder-width apart,
then bend at the knees and hips, sitting down (b)
until your thighs are nearly parallel with the floor
(a). Shift up 2 inches, then down 2 inches; repeat
this 5 times. After the fifth pulse, squat down to
nearly parallel, then explosively stand up, jump-
ing into the air (b); do this 5 times. Alternate the
two movements until time is up.

EB SAYS:
“Squat depth is highly
6  Reverse Lunge
Windmill Skip
Start standing. Step back
personal. You’re aiming with your left leg; lower into a
for parallel, but if you lunge. Put your left hand on
can’t get that deep, that’s the floor by your right foot (a),
fine. Focus on getting as then reach your right hand as
deep as possible.” high as you can (b). Reverse
the movements to return to
the start. That’s 1 rep; alter-
nate sides with each rep.

EB SAYS:
“Puff out your chest
(b)
on every rep. You
want your heart rate
up, but you also want
to let this stretch your
upper back.”

(Start) (a)

MEN’S HEALTH / April 2019 21

TRANSFORMATION
The Most
Disgusting, After a heart attack, Kevin Smith changed the way he eats and
Weird, and exercises. He’s 50 pounds lighter now and a lot happier, but
as he tells ALEX BHATTACHARJI, getting there wasn’t pretty.
Totally
Inspiring “TRIGGER WARNING: We’re gonna talk
poop. Greasy, oily shits.” Kevin Smith,
Story You’ll 48, the actor-director-comedian known
for playing Silent Bob, can’t stop talking
Ever Read about the scatological side effects of the
fat blockers he took circa 2000, “the most
About ludicrous thing I’ve done to lose weight.
I was shitting pizza grease,” he says.
Weight Loss Smith’s weight-loss experimenting
caused wild fluctuations—up to 80
pounds—and culminated when his heart
stopped beating on February 25, 2018,
between stand-up sets at the Alex Theatre
in Glendale, California. He suffered an
acute myocardial infarction—to be pre-
cise, a 100 percent blockage of the anterior
descending artery. The widowmaker. As
Smith says, “After years of doing the yo-yo,
the heart attack was like, Yo!”
22 April 2019 / MEN’S HEALTH
High on a fentanyl drip, he lay in a
room at Adventist Health Glendale with
only a 20 percent chance of survival as
the cardiologist placed a stent and per-
formed emergency angioplasty. Smith
sang out loud the theme song to the
tween TV show Degrassi: The Next Gen-
Grooming: Emily Christison, props: Carl Dove at Art Department
eration “because it was very hopeful,”
he explains. “‘Whatever it takes, I know
I can make it through’. . .”
Despite being outwardly upbeat,
Smith tried to make his peace on the op-
erating table. “I was prepared to go,” he
says. “The only thing that I regretted was
that we didn’t make the Jay and Silent
Bob reboot. I was sitting there going,
‘Fuck! The last movie I will have made
was Yoga Hosers. Goddammit, I need to
go out on something else!’ ”
PHOTOGRAPH BY GREGG SEGAL

Survival Plan
WAKE & BAKE WORKOUT
He fasts and drinks One-hour walk. He
unsweetened iced tea. posts it on Instagram
to be accountable.
LUNCH
Mondo Nachos and DINNER
Beyond Burger at Bombay Spice
Veggie Grill. chickpeas.
SNACK GUILTY PLEASURE
MadeGood Chocolate Daily $35 massage
Banana Granola Minis. at Pampered Foot.
After his heart attack, Smith
tried an all-potato diet and then
graduated to a broader plant-
based plan similar to the one his
daughter follows. After 25 years
of trial and near-fatal error,
going vegan was the easiest way
he found to be healthy. “Nobody
wants to hear that,” he says, “and
I don’t blame them. I don’t care
how you prepare them; vegetables
suck compared to a piece of cake
or a steak. But I think of it this
way: I know what that stuff tastes
like. And it’s not going anywhere.” not thinking about what else he could be
His brush with mortality has
given Smith a new perspective:
“I ate the way I wanted to for 47
years; I will try the way I’m sup-
posed to for one year and see
what happens.” It’s working: He
hit his goal of losing 50 pounds in six
months, and he’s keeping it off. (He’s
now at 198 pounds.) Every day, he has
a session with his personal trainer
(Shecky, a miniature dachshund) and
meals prepared by a team of chefs
(whoever is holding a spatula at his local
Veggie Grill).
His routine is a smack-in-the-head
reminder that simple can suffice. He
takes Shecky on an hour-long walk each
day—“Actually, she takes me,” he says.
“She drags me”—to the top of Runyon
Canyon, near his home in the Hollywood
Hills. He sticks to his vegan and low-
sugar diet and practices portion control,
Matt Sayles/Invision/AP/Shutterstock (right)
scanning labels using the WW app. (He
recently became an ambassador for the
program formerly known as Weight
Watchers.) To quash bad cholesterol and
inflammation, he takes Lipitor.
A year after his widowmaker, Smith is
able to see what he’s gained. For starters,
energy. “Tons more,” he says. “Never tired.
Always ready to go.” This has
fueled a creative resurgence.
After years of false starts, he’s in
preproduction on Jay and Silent
Bob Reboot, reprising the role he
played in his first film, Clerks.
Smith’s psyche has shed some
weight as well. “When shit would
go wrong in my life, and shit
invariably does—it’s life—back
in the day it was like, ‘Yoga Hosers
tanked, and I’m heavy.’ It was
always one more thing.” Today
he’s able to blunt the effects of adversity.
“Now I’m like, ‘Well, at least you’re in bet-
ter shape.’ I’ll put it through the ultimate
prism, which is ‘Bitch, you’re supposed to
be dead! All of this is gravy!’ ”
That outlook has made it easy for him to
grind out a routine of Groundhog Day–like
repetition. “I’m like the Norm of Veggie
Grill,” he says. He thrives on the monotony.
He always orders the same meal, Mondo
Nachos and a Beyond Burger, for which
Smith, ever mindful of WW points, will
bring his own pita flatbread. Not having
to think about what he’ll be eating means
eating. “I hate to compare it, but remember
homeboy who went to Subway and ate the
same thing?” he asks, referring to Jared
Fogle, since convicted of sex crimes. “The
idea of one meal all the time puts me in
the zone. I’m not bored. It works.”
Inevitably, the demands of his work—
including comedy, directing, and hosting
a slew of podcasts—will take Smith out
of range of his go-to chain, in which case
he’ll hunt for local vegan restaurants or
default to Mediterranean fare (hummus,
falafel) or Mexican rice and beans. “I’m a
big beans guy,” he says, adding that they
count as zero of his daily quota of 25 WW
points (calculated using a food’s protein,
sugar, saturated fat, and calories).
As Smith looks forward, the only thing
he fears is losing fear itself. “The idea is to
always be scared,” he says. “Once I’m not
scared anymore, I’m scared, you know?”
In a sense, that should be easy, since he
lives under the specter of a heart attack
that came without warning: no chest
pain, no numbness in his arm—just nau-
sea and shortness of breath. And yet his
quick recovery could breed complacency.
One thing that has required adjustments
is sex with his wife, Jennifer Schwalbach
Smith. “Our sex life was always very
BODY
healthy,” he says. “But at one point my
wife was like, ‘We have to figure out a new
way to do this. Your body’s different. You
used to have, like, a lot of cushion for the
pushing. Now you’ve gotta go harder.’ And
I was like, ‘All right! I might be up to that
challenge!’ ” He’s been enjoying more
time on top. “It’s a wrinkle, like, ‘Holy
shit! Who knew this was possible?’ ” he
says with a laugh. “So it’s been beneficial
there as well.”
The point is that some pleasures make
persevering a little easier. For Smith, who
wakes and bakes before 6:00 A.M., one of
those is cannabis. He was able to give up a
two-pack-a-day cigarette habit by switch-
ing to weed, though he knows he would
be better served by ingesting. “Every
doctor has been like, ‘Look, do edibles.’
It’s better, it’s safer,” he admits. “But I’m a
flower man.” Just before the widowmaker
struck, Smith had fired up a joint, which
his GP later suggested may have prevented
a potentially lethal panic reaction. “She
was like, ‘That last joint you smoked might
have saved your life.’ And I was like, ‘I’m
gonna put that on a fucking T-shirt!’ ”
Smith is willing to work hard and
keep evolving. When he finishes filming
Jay and Silent Bob Reboot, he’s going to
start a more rigorous exercise regimen.
And he’s all for being abstemious, up
to a point. “I’ve given up animal food
products. I’ve given up sugar, mostly,” he
says. “Weed is vegan. It’s straight out of
the earth. This is the one thing I’m gonna
hold on to until some other health scare
and some doctor says, ‘No.’ ”
Kevin Smith in 2012 in Los Angeles. At his
heaviest, he weighed more than 300 pounds.
 BODY

You Hear
the One
About
Brain
Cancer?
Sure, brain tumors make
a lot of news. But how
often do they hit home?
KRISTEN DOLD reveals how
to minimize your risk.

J
OHN M C CAIN’S DEATH last August
from glioblastoma was a pointed
reminder that while brain tumors
aren’t the most common cancer, the
fact that they occur in one of the most
complex, still-not-understood organs
makes them especially scary. Scientists
are discovering more about the brain and
nervous system, but still can’t pinpoint
why rogue cells gang up there and are
cancerous in about one in 143 guys. But
treatments have progressed, and these
tumors can be more treatable the earlier
they’re detected. So it’s smart to know
the symptoms, whether to ease your
mind or to seek diagnosis quickly.
Spot the Signs
There are more than 100 different types
of brain tumor, some more common
than others. Symptoms can be vague
and vary in intensity as well as location,
depending on where the tumor is and the
amount of pressure associated with it.
Symptoms may develop quickly or creep
up gradually, says Barbara O’Brien, M.D.,
Two common tumors, two different
stories: Meningiomas (above) tend to be
noncancerous. Glioblastomas (right) are
much more dangerous.
Headaches
Many people with brain tumors suffer
from head pain when the mass puts pres-
sure on blood vessels and nerves. If you
took 1,000 people with a headache right
now, the chance that one had a brain
tumor would be incredibly low, says
Soonmee Cha, M.D., a radiologist at the
University of California, San Francisco,
a top referral center for brain tumors.
What separates the scary ones from
the garden-variety: recurring head pain
that worsens over time and doesn’t get
better with OTC meds, especially if
it follows a specific pattern. “I’d have
throbbing headaches that lasted a couple
of seconds when I coughed or during a
bowel movement,” says 41-year-old Amy
Voros, who was diagnosed with a glioma
in August 2017 and treated with surgery.
Headaches caused by brain tumors can
take many forms but tend to be brought
on by bearing down or leaning over (both
moves increase pressure in the brain),
wake you up from sleep, or are worse first
Zephyr/Science Source, Jessica Wilson/Science Source

an assistant professor of neuro-oncology

at the University of Texas MD Anderson
Cancer Center, and they progress over
time. They’re not usually like those of a
stroke, which tend to come on suddenly.
And, she says, “if you just have one head-
ache or just have difficulty getting your
words out on one occasion, it’s probably
not a tumor.” But if any of the following
four symptoms develop and worsen over
a month or two, call your physician.
SO FAR, the weight of evidence says they’re fine. Cell
phones emit radio waves that can be absorbed by the
ARE CELL body. While some recent studies suggest an association,
“there are multiple large, well-designed studies that have
PHONES SAFE? not found a link between cell-phone use and brain tu-
mors or cancer,” says Duke University School of Medicine
neuro-oncologist Katherine B. Peters, M.D., Ph.D., who
points out that primary-brain-tumor rates haven’t risen
with our increasing reliance on cell phones.

26 April 2019 / MEN’S HEALTH


thing in the morning, since lying down
can cause the growth to put increased
pressure on the brain, says Dr. O’Brien.
Balance and Muscle Issues
Growths in the cerebellum can cause
balance and coordination problems, so
regularly losing your footing or dropping
or bumping into things can signify that
it’s worth seeing an M.D. A tumor that
pushes on or moves fragile tissue in the
cerebrum or brain stem can also lead
to strength loss or even paralysis. “It’s
typically one-sided,” says Dr. O’Brien.
So you’d have trouble buttoning buttons
with one hand but not both. Weakness or
numbness in your arms, legs, or face that
can’t be attributed to a poor sleeping or
sitting position and doesn’t go away after
a few minutes isn’t a wait-and-see situa-
tion. Head to the ER immediately.
Cognitive Changes
Tumors can cause lapses in memory, par-
ticularly the short-term kind. Everyone
forgets where they put their keys or has a
moment of wondering what they came into
the living room for. It’s more alarming
if you ask the same questions over and
over as if for the first time or mix up words
(calling a pen a crayon, for example). You
might also struggle to answer simple ques-
tions (e.g., “What city are we in?” even
though you know you’re in Chicago). It’s
that feeling of “I know what I want to say;
I just can’t say it,” Dr. O’Brien says.
Changes in behavior, like going from the
most organized guy in the office to can’t-see-
the-desk messy, can also signal a tumor.
(People around you are more likely to pick
up on this than you are.)
Seizures
More than 40 percent of brain-
tumor patients have at least one seizure
due to the growth interfering with nor-
mal electrical activity in the brain. Look
out for partial seizures, too, says Dr.
O’Brien: trouble getting words out, just
one arm shaking uncontrollably, or smell-
ing odors (bread baking, for example) that
no one else can detect.
ADVANCED WEAPONS
Surgery, radiation, and
chemotherapy are still standard,
but maybe not for long with these
promising treatments.
1 Optune
This caplike device transmits electric
currents that disrupt cancer-cell divi-
sion. In some research, patients with
glioblastoma who wore one of these
for at least 18 hours a day for six
months more than doubled their five-
year survival rate.
2  Laser Interstitial
Thermal Therapy
Currently used to treat tumors that can
be hard to reach surgically without
damaging other parts of the brain, it’s
now being studied in glioblastoma.
3  Immunotherapy
Doctors either remove the brakes
of the immune system so it attacks
tumors or reengineer immune cells
from your own body to hunt down and
kill tumor cells. This therapy is already
being used to treat some cancers,
such as melanoma.
Zika (Yes, That Zika)
4  A new study has found that the vi-
rus can find and kill hard-to-treat glio-
blastoma cancer stem cells. Within
ten years, scientists hope to use
Zika along with current therapies
to destroy the entire tumor.
KEEP THINGS IN
PERSPECTIVE
FOR AS MUCH as you hear about
brain cancers, your lifetime risk of de-
veloping a primary tumor—one that
starts in the brain and stays there—is
still only about 2 percent. Secondary
tumors, which spread to the brain from
cancers in other areas, constitute the
majority of tumors and have become
slightly more common in the past few
decades. Even so, “compared to lung
or prostate cancer,” says Dr. Cha, “the
incidence of brain tumors is very rare.”
MEN’S HEALTH / April 2019 27
 BODY
Why Mukbang Is
Huuuuuuuge
MELISSA MATTHEWS explores
a new viral binge-eating trend that
comes with serious side effects.
N
ICHOLAS PERRY, 26, is some-
thing of a celebrity. He records paid to stuff yourself with processed,
himself eating 3,000 to 4,000
calories’ worth of food best consumed in enjoy in moderation sounds like a dream.
moderation—spicy ramen, chili-cheese
fries, Buffalo wings—in a single sitting
and then uploads the video to his YouTube there’s limited scientific evidence link-
account, Nikocado Avocado, which
boasts more than a million subscribers.
Perry’s videos are part of a trend
dubbed mukbang, in which people eat
large quantities of food for an online
audience. Mukbang is a mash-up of two
Korean words: mukja, or “eating,” and
bang-song, meaning “broadcasting.”
28 April 2019 / MEN’S HEALTH
+
Nicholas Perry (left) and
Erik Lamkin (below) eat vast
amounts of food, on camera,
for fans (not to mention
advertisers) on YouTube.
It originated in South
Korea, but it’s gone on
to attract international
eyeballs and win fans.
“There’s an element
of virtual gratification
in seeing someone else
enjoy the food,” says
Makana Chock, a media-
psychology expert at
Syracuse University. “As
humans, we like to watch
other people do things.”
There’s something
in it for the mukbang
stars, too: money. In the
U. S., eaters hope to gain
an audience and earn a
portion of the ad revenue
generated by views on
YouTube. Some accept
donations and make
money through corporate
sponsored videos. Over
in South Korea, one muk-
banger, Park Seo-yeon,
raked in $9,400 a month,
according to Reuters.
Being a mukbang star
seems like a good gig. After all, getting
fried, and sugary foods you otherwise
But Perry says it all takes a toll on his body.
Start with erectile dysfunction. While
ing performance issues to binge eating,
Perry says he recently started having
erection problems. “It never happened
until I started doing mukbangs,” he says.
Frequent diarrhea is another problem
for Perry, along with weight gain. When
he began binge eating, Perry weighed
140. He now tops 220. Then add gas,
bloating, and stomach pains—especially
when he eats spicy noodles.
“I can’t fall asleep, because I feel like
my digestive tract is on fire,” Perry says.
“And then I’m running to the bathroom.
I’m sitting on the toilet crying.”
Another mukbanger, Erik Lamkin, 25,
the man behind the YouTube channel
the Electrics, admits that the constant
farting, water retention, and bouts of
diarrhea aren’t ideal, but he manages by
drinking plenty of water and exercising.
One time, after a sodium-heavy feast,
Lamkin could barely move at the gym.
“I tried to run on the treadmill, and
it felt like I had another stomach on me.
It was horrible.” Lamkin sees his doctor
every couple months for blood work to
monitor the effects of bingeing.
Mukbangers may not be concerned
enough to retire from YouTube, but ingest-
ing obscene amounts of junk food once
a week isn’t a great idea—even if you eat
well on the other days. “It’s quite a roller
coaster to put your body on,” says Andrew
Bates, M.D., an assistant professor of
surgery at the Renaissance School of
Medicine at Stony Brook University.
Dr. Bates says the cycle of bingeing
could make your system’s biochemical
signaling go haywire. And it’s not clear
if this erratic eating pattern can cause
lasting damage.
Dr. Bates believes obesity is the biggest
threat to these guys. Even mukbang stars
who don’t gain weight could develop
issues often found in obese adults, like
Courtesy Nicholas Perry (noodles, Perry), courtesy Erik Lamkin
difficulty managing blood-sugar levels.
“It would be really hard to reverse that
kind of behavior if you’re doing it one,
two, or three times a week,” he says.
Gastroenterologist Samantha
Nazareth, M.D., has a different point of
view. She cautions that we should think
about the effects these videos have on
viewers: “In a country with increas-
ing amounts of obesity, this is not the
correct message to send, nor is this
something to try at home.”

BEFORE
SUPPLEMENT LAB
Can an OTC Fat Burner
Help You Drop LBS?
Scads of pills and potions advertise safe and
quick weight loss. CHRISTA SGOBBA looks at whether
their “active” ingredients actually work.
Caffeine
It’s common in fat-burning supple-
ments because it gives you the impression
something is happening, says Spencer
Nadolsky, D.O., a board-certified family-
medicine and obesity physician. True,
a combination of aspirin, caffeine, and
the stimulant ephedrine (a component of
ephedra) has been shown to reduce appe-
tite and burn fat, he says, but the FDA
banned the sale of products containing
ephedra in 2004 due to heart concerns.
The science behind caffeine’s effects on
weight loss isn’t strong.
Philip Friedman/Studio D
Green-Tea Extract
This stuff contains epigallocatechin-
3-gallate (just know it’s a disease-fighting
antioxidant) and caffeine. A 2017
AFTER?
meta-analysis published in The Journal
of Nutritional Biochemistry found that
green-tea extract does increase the num-
ber of calories you burn—but only by a
measly 38 calories a day.
Garcinia Cambogia Extract
Reports have linked garcinia cambogia,
an ingredient derived from a Southeast
Asian fruit, to liver injury. Even though
the active compound, HCA, has been
shown in rat studies to block an enzyme
that contributes to fat formation, this
doesn’t translate to real-world results,
says Valerie Goldstein, R.D., a New York–
based nutrition consultant. “Studies are
showing that it might only make a one- to
two-pound difference for average weight
loss,” she says. Not worth the risk.
BODY
Bitter Orange
Back when the FDA banned the sale of
ephedra products, supplement manufac-
turers turned to this similar ingredient.
Its active compound, synephrine, may
increase your metabolic rate, but it’s not
a huge boost, says Dr. Nadolsky. Some
research shows it’s safe, but you should
still steer clear if you have any preexist-
ing heart issues, he says.
L-Carnitine
“It transports fatty acids into the
mitochondria, the powerhouses of your
cells, where it’s used for fuel,” says Gold-
stein. “It burns fat to use as energy.” A
2016 meta-analysis in Obesity Reviews
found that L-carnitine supplementation
resulted in weight loss of about three
pounds. But as with other supplements,
additional research is mixed, says Gold-
stein. Still, L-carnitine is likely safe to
use, and because it works as an antioxi-
dant, it may be good for your heart, too,
she says. Just have a conversation with
your doctor before taking any.
The Bottom Line
“Overall, it’s not worth spending
money on fat-burning supplements,” says
Dr. Nadolsky. “You are better off spending
your money on a coach or healthy food, as
opposed to relying on one of these pills. The
effect is going to be extremely small, and
there are potential safety issues involved.”
Know that the FDA doesn’t regulate sup-
plements as strictly as it does drugs.
THE DANGER OF SUPPLEMENTS
Unlike prescriptions, there’s no stan-
dard for what counts as a dosage with
supplements, says Sharon Akabas, Ph.D.,
of Columbia University Irving Medical Cen-
ter. What’s more, 72 percent of weight-
loss supplements have labels that don’t
reflect their contents, researchers from
Einstein Medical Center found. Taking too
much of supplements that contain stim-
ulants may lead to a rise in heart rate or
blood pressure, which can be harmful
if you have cardiac issues. “Many people
think it wouldn’t be sold if it wasn’t safe
and effective, but neither of those things
is true,” Akabas says.
MEN’S HEALTH / April 2019 29
 PROMOTION

T H E 7 8 TH A N N U A L

ALL-STAR DAD CONTEST

CALL FOR SUBMISSIONS!
Do you know a Dad who is a real “All Star” to his children,
his family and his community? If so, nominate him
today as the National Father’s Day Committee searches
for America’s #1 “All-Star” Dad.

Every Dad is special. But does your Dad or another Dad

you know demonstrate such important attributes as
dedication, love, unselfishness, support, and community
service on a regular basis? If so, he could be the
Father’s Day Committee “All-Star” Dad for 2019.

GO TO ALLSTARDAD.ORG TODAY AND SUBMIT YOUR ESSAY

 LIFE
40 ................ W H Y YOU R MEDICIN E
C A BIN ET N EEDS MOR E STICKS
41 ........... HOW TO LOOK LIKE A DAD
44 ........... WA IT, A R E YOU CRY ING?
46 .......... THE R EDEEMING POW ER
OF A M A JOR ACCIDEN T

Denim shirt ($18)

by Wrangler;
belt ($50) by
Banana Republic.

O F T H RO
ME N
A

Up top, down low: JEANS are as important to getting dressed as pushups are
to exercising. But there’s a great wide world of fit and wash
Denim is everywhere beyond your standard blue jeans. Let Joe Dempsie (Gendry,
and has never the “porno blacksmith” on a little program called Game
been better. of Thrones) show you what denim has to offer now. You can
start with this western-style shirt and build from there.

PHOTOGRAPHS BY JOHN BALSOM MEN’S HEALTH / April 2019 31

 LIFE

SO YOU P I C K A PA I R :

WANT
TO WEAR
THE THREE DENIM CUTS TO KNOW NOW
For every kind of guy, there is a fit.
BOOT CUT...

FIT
THE RIGHT WAY...
Get this: Boot-cut jeans
are best worn with ac-
E
ID

tual boots. Or any other EN

D

IM GU
type of footwear with a
high and burly ankle.
The extra flare of fabric
is a functional add-on
SLIM STRAIGHT ATHLETIC
made to accommodate
the shaft of a cow- Best for Trim to thin guys. Just about everyone. Guys who don’t skip leg day.
boy boot. The two in
Wear it with Sneakers or a Chelsea boot. A tucked-in button-down. A slim sweater.
tandem create a clean
line up the ankle, like Where to Keep it to the streets, and Just about everywhere. Darker washes can go
the Lucky Brand ($99) wear it out. Maybe not the office. anywhere.
jeans above.
Stretch? Almost always. Not necessary but nice Yes.
to have.
...AND THE OTHER WAY
Pairing the wide How it fits Usually sits just below the Sits low on the waist, and Like your favorite straight-
ankles of a boot-cut waist, with the leg in a the leg is slightly fuller fit jeans, sitting at or low on
straight line from hip to an- than that of the slim cut, the waist, but with a little
jean with your every-
kle, cut close to the body. so you have a little more room built into the seat and
day sneaker is, to put But not glued to your room and comfort. thighs to accommodate
it nicely, unadvisable. thighs like skinny jeans. your gains.
The distracting excess
We Levi’s 511; Express Slim Stretch; AG Protégé; American Eagle Abercrombie & Fitch Athletic
of fabric swallows up
recommend Everlane Slim Fit Flex Original Straight; Carhartt Skinny; J. Crew 1040; Gap Athletic
your shoes and traps Rugged Flex Straight Fit Fit with GapFlex
you in the ’90s.

DENIM HALL OF FAME

GOOD JEANS, CLEAN CONSCIENCE
One of the biggest trends in the world of jeans is one you Levi’s put out its first
trucker jacket in 1967.
can’t see. Brands are ramping up their sustainability efforts. The company’s SVP of
Gap’s Washwell program allows the company to soak its jeans design innovation, Jona-
using 20 percent less water, and AG will be recycling all than Cheung, on why its
design hasn’t changed:
of the water in its manufacturing process. Meanwhile, “It defines the genre. It’s
Madewell (far left, $128) and J. Crew ($98) are releasing a a design classic right
full line of Fair Trade–approved styles, ensuring that their up there with a Rolex
workers are making jeans in a safe environment. 911.” Right: Levi’s ($90).

32 April 2019 / MEN’S HEALTH

 Tank ($40) and
jeans ($80) by
Calvin Klein Jeans.

SELVEDGE:
HOW AN UPDATE
JEANS
SHOULD
LOOK
A slim straight-leg
jean has a versatility
that’s a world away
from that of Joe
Dempsie’s costumes
on Game of Thrones.
“Gendry’s look? It’s
porno blacksmith,” he
says. “Lots of leather.
Lots of baby oil.”
THE BASELINE
Selvedge jeans are
called selvedge
jeans because of
the loom and the
process by which
the denim is woven.
What we tradition-
ally get (and want) is
a tighter weave and
a jean known for its
Styling: Ted Stafford, grooming: Luke Benson using Wella Professionals & Tom Ford Beauty/Frank Agency, tailoring: Gillian Ford, styling assistant: Jay Barrett

thick, stiff weight

and feel and its fin-
ished edge on the
inside seam.
When the jeans are
made with luxurious
(but affordable!)
premium Italian
denim, you can forgo
adding stretch.

THE UPGRADE
For men with a smaller Recently, the Jap-
frame, note how the anese megabrand
slim leg hugs—doesn’t Uniqlo has begun
suffocate—the thigh to rethink denim
and creates a full, by working a
straight line. It produces
thread of stretch
a proportional look,
so you’re not swimming
into its selvedge
in your jeans. (above, $50), so
we get all the
hallmarks of the
classic style plus
some freedom of
movement.

WEAR AT YOUR OWN RISK

CARPENTER: Rooted in DAD: A midrise at the waist, a wide leg, and OVERALL: Bibbed for protection
workwear and distinguished by a #1 a light stone wash. Worn the world over by from paint and oil spatters. Intended
hammer loop and a wider leg. dads and, suddenly, more trend-forward guys. solely for painters and mechanics.

MEN’S HEALTH / April 2019 33

 Sweatshirt
($40) and jeans
($70) by Gap.

HOW TO LOOK
WELL-WORN
Slightly faded,
subtle whiskering,
no visible fraying.
That’s what casual
but still polished
looks like.

Bold and bright isn’t

required wear in
warmer weather.
Simpler styles, in
faded neutrals,
give off the same
easy cool.

Opt for two-ounce

lightweight denim
that gives you
ease and comfort
from spring right
on into summer.
 LIFE

THE NEUTRAL ZONE

How to tweak the tone of your darker denim.
THE
RIGHT
WHITE
Miami Vice be
damned!

WA S H

DE
N
IM

E
GUID
Robert Kamau/Getty Images (Legend), RB/Bauer-Griffin/Getty Images (Williams), Paul Bruinooge/Patrick McMullan via Getty Images (Cruz), Smallz & Raskind (Manganiello), Paras Griffin/Getty Images (Ludacris)

WHITE JEANS
have always posed
a particular style
challenge for their
wearer: The stark
bright white often
makes whatever you
have on up top or on
your feet stand out
all the more. That’s a
ALMOST BLACK DARK GRAY GRAY LIGHT GRAY JUST A TOUCH lot of pressure. Then
Wear them like you Dark enough to Think of your Stone-colored Like wearing there are stains and
would black jeans, wear at the office. favorite gray territory wears white jeans with the greater propen-
which is to say with Worn enough to sweater and all like your favorite the built-in secu- sity for them to be
anything. The look like you be- the ways it can be khakis. Pair them rity of not actually noticeable. And the
saturated end of long at a Greta worn—dressed just as easily with wearing white risk of any sheer
the spectrum. Van Fleet con- up or down. a button-down jeans (see right). moments that might
Polo Ralph cert. The best of Straight-up gray oxford or a T-shirt. Wrangler ($98). happen with a pair
Lauren ($148). both worlds. jeans can do the Boss ($178). of dark underwear
Levi’s ($60). same. Tommy and the right light.
Jeans ($100). That’s why the new
breed of white jean
is mercifully not so
white and instantly
more wearable.
Look for a pair that
STRESS SIGNALS has a more natural,
Having a little wear canvaslike tone (like
and tear pre-set the above, from Sat-
in your jeans is all urdays NYC, $185).
well and good. But
note the word little.
It’s a shade called
Distressing is like ecru and, when worn
going bankrupt: It with a gray T-shirt or
happens very slowly, sweater, it’s the per-
and then suddenly
fect spring jean when
it’s all too much.
f a de d you get tired of blue.

MEN’S HEALTH / April 2019 35

 LIFE

Men Are from

Westeros,
Women Are
from Essos
Relationship strategies
(and pitfalls!) inspired
by the wild couples
of Game of Thrones.
BY ERIC SPITZNAGEL

LOOKING TO Game of Thrones for

relationship guidance might sound
like watching the Star Wars movies
for parenting pointers. But amid all
the brutality and misogyny on the
HBO series, which returns for its
final season on April 14, there are
some insightful romantic lessons for
guys who don’t settle their differences
with a sword. Especially if they’re
attracted to strong, ambitious,
OF TH
tough-as-dragon-glass women. GA ME R

ON
Helen Fisher, Ph.D., a biological

ES
anthropologist and senior research
fellow at the Kinsey Institute, is
M

studying what men are search-

E

ing for in relationships, and her
research indicates that most of
them would make a long-term
commitment to a woman who earns
considerably more money than they
do (90 percent) and is considerably
more educated (86 percent). “Men
want powerful and effective women,”
says Fisher. “We’re moving back
toward a hunter-and-gatherer-type
lifestyle, where women are the
economic and social equals of men.”
However, dating a Mother of Dragons
or Queen of the Seven Kingdoms
involves navigating some complex
power dynamics; it’s about more
than just who has the biggest
LESSON
Recognize
1 Shared Goals
DAENERYS TARGARYEN AND JON SNOW
Their first meeting was full of ten-
sion—they both have a claim to the Iron
Throne—but they discovered common
ground in their mutual devotion to
defeating the Army of the Dead. Dany
agrees to let Jon mine some dragon
glass, and he gives her his allegiance.
N
’S T H
H E A L
THE LESSON: What matters is having a
shared vision of your life goals, both as
a couple and individually. “I have seen
violated expectations and conflicting life
goals ruin relationships,” says Kale Monk,
Ph.D., a professor of family science at the
University of Missouri. “I’ve had clients
call off their engagements because one
wanted to have children and the other
didn’t.” If you want your relationship to
last, identify the metaphorical White
Walkers in your life, and make sure you’re
both on the same page regarding how
you’re working together to vanquish
Courtesy HBO

weapon. Use these suggestions to And then they had “we’re the last hope them. This couple is modern in that
build a stronger relationship that for humanity” sex. If only they’d taken each makes compromises to support
can endure whatever winter brings. one of those AncestryDNA tests first. the other and strengthen their union.

36 April 2019 / MEN’S HEALTH


LESSON
Escape a Toxic
2 a University College London study.
Relationship
CERSEI AND JAIME LANNISTER
These twins bring out the worst in
each other, and often it’s driven by lust.
Think Jaime pushing a child off a tower
because he catches them in the act, or
the couple going for it next to the body of
their dead son. Each has tried breaking it
off, but they always get back together.
THE LESSON: Often toxic relationships
repeat patterns seen in the couples’
parents, whether it’s people who had
parents who fought choosing angry
partners, or those with alcoholic par-
ents being drawn to partners who drink
heavily, says Lori Gottlieb, L.M.F.T., a psy-
chotherapist and author of Marry Him.
“The pull toward that feeling of ‘home’
makes what they want as adults hard
to disentangle from what they experi-
enced as children.” Break the cycle: You
need to identify the toxic patterns and
PictureLux/The Hollywood Archive/Alamy (Daenerys Targaryen), HBO/Alamy (Khal Drogo), courtesy HBO (remaining)
replace them with new ways of interact-
ing when things start to escalate. This
may require working with a therapist.
LESSON
Even Small
3 a controlling relationship is by trusting
Lies Add Up
SANSA STARK AND PETYR BAELISH
Baelish, aka Littlefinger, tried (oh,
how he tried!) to win Sansa’s trust,
making her believe that he was the
only one who truly had her back. But
as it turned out, his romantic overtures
were calculated and political. (And
Sansa’s mom, Catelyn, was the one
woman he really loved.)
THE LESSON: Nobody is a Littlefinger
from the get-go. Dishonesty usually
begins slowly, with little white lies, and
the more lies you get away with, the
more you’re likely to lie, according to
When your deceptions are exposed,
there might not be an assassin sister
with a blade waiting for you, but your
relationship essentially gets its throat
slit. “Once the trust is broken, all trust
is broken,” says Gottlieb. “Earning it
back is challenging and sometimes
impossible. A significant breach of
trust, even if the relationship lasts,
will often taint the relationship in ways
you can’t fully repair.”
LESSON
Know When
4 to Say No
MELISANDRE AND STANNIS BARATHEON
In one sense, Melisandre and Stannis
were a good match. She was convinced
he was the one true king of Westeros,
destined to become Lord of the Seven
Kingdoms. It’s nice to have a partner who
believes in you so unconditionally. But
Melisandre also told him to burn his only
daughter, Shireen, as a sacrifice, and he
did it. This, clearly, indicates problems.
THE LESSON: The only way to correct
yourself and setting boundaries, says
Sharie Stines, Psy.D., a California-based
therapist. “Know where you begin and
end and where the other person begins
and ends,” she says. “Don’t confuse
your identity with theirs. Remind
yourself that you are only responsible for
yourself—your thoughts, feelings, and
behaviors, not anyone else’s.” There is
a difference between couples mutually
expanding each other’s worldview and
emotional manipulation. “Being com-
pletely dependent on a partner, where
they have all the decision-making power,
makes us lose our autonomy and sense
of self,” says Monk. If your partner tries to
pressure you into doing something that
feels wrong or scary—something that
makes you uncomfortable, like, say, sac-
rificing your daughter to the fire god—
you can say no. You should say no.
LESSON
Stop Talking and
5 Listen to Her
DAENERYS TARGARYEN AND KHAL DROGO
In the beginning, their relationship
was a horror show: Drogo was arro-
gant, violent, and sexually aggressive.
They eventually settled into a marriage
that felt like an equal partnership,
but only after Drogo started listening
to Dany’s ideas, from insisting that he
could lead his army across the seas
and claim the Iron Throne to remind-
ing him that sex can be way hotter
when you let your partner get on top
and make eye contact.
THE LESSON: Women want men who
can access their emotions, be empa-
thetic, and admit fault, says Jenna
Birch, author of The Love Gap and CEO
of the new dating app Plum. “Vulner-
ability takes practice. It’s supposed to
feel scary!” Set aside private time to
connect with your partner, or be avail-
able when your partner needs to talk or
seems preoccupied. Ask what’s on her
mind and probe gently. And if you’re
arguing, don’t try to solve her problem
or judge her position. Instead try to
see the situation from your partner’s
POV. “Your partner can make you
stronger—practically, intellectually,
emotionally, or otherwise,” says Birch.
“But only if you let them.”
MEN’S HEALTH / April 2019 37
 LIFE

one’s feelings. The point is

that you’re single now, so
go find someone who thinks
finding you was perfect tim-
ing. Don’t settle for less.

MY NEW GIRLFRIEND HAD A

ASK HER ANYTHING comes to bank accounts, do not
mess around. You always hear
I think she peed a little that communication about
money is a big pain point for
the last time we had sex. couples. Note that I didn’t just
say “money”—it’s discussing
I’m not grossed out, but it that makes everyone frantic.
Talk your fiancée through
what does that mean? how you want your accounts
organized and why. Then keep
—PHILLIP, Buffalo, NY talking. She’ll appreciate that
more than you think.
Nothing of concern here. It’s an anatomy thing. During sex,
your penis may be putting pressure on her bladder. Plus, the HE BROKE UP WITH ME BECAUSE OF
clitoris is super close to the urethra. Sometimes that causes “BAD TIMING.” LEGIT EXCUSE, OR IS
a sensation that makes it feel like we need to pee. Usually HE SEEING SOMEONE ELSE?
we don’t, because if we relax into that sensation, it can turn —DAVE, New Orleans, LA
from a need-to-pee feeling into a need-to-orgasm feeling. There’s a 50 percent chance
(Hooray!) But if she does need to go, that additional pres-
THREESOME WITH HER EX AND
ANOTHER GIRL. WHAT ARE THE
CHANCES I’LL GET ONE, TOO?
—DARREN, Louisville, KY
One threesome does not beget
two. Following my math here?
Let’s add up the signs: You have
intel about one past threesome.
That could have been the
result of a pushy boyfriend, an
unlikely encounter, a frisky
friend, a planned strategy, a
bad decision, or all of the above.
Do you know if she enjoyed
said threesome? Because
that’s your biggest predictor
of a repeat. With most topics,
I would encourage you to come
right out and ask her about it,
but since it’s a new relation-
ship, maybe ease into this one.
Queue up Y Tu Mamá También
(it has a famous threesome
scene!) and see how she reacts.
At the very least, you can use it
as foreplay for two.
WHAT IS SHE LOOKING FOR WHEN
SHE SHOWS ME SEXY PHOTOS OF
WOMEN ON INSTAGRAM? IT FEELS
LIKE A TRAP.
—CHRIS, St. Louis, MO
You’re right. I see flashing
yellow lights here—proceed
Joel Arbaje (Piercey), Annabelle Breakey/Getty Images

he’s seeing someone else. with caution. It’s not a trap,

sure won’t help. Women should pee before and after sex to There’s a 30 percent chance but it could shift the tone of an
prevent UTIs. But if she likes peeing during sex . . . well, he’s really focused on work afternoon. I have no idea how
that’s all up to you and her to figure out. and can’t commit to dates jealous your girlfriend gets. I
right now. And there’s a enjoy looking at sexy photos
MY FIANCÉE WANTS TO COMBINE 90 percent honest with your 20 percent chance he realized of both women and men on
PHONE PLANS AND FINANCES. CAN I significant other. You’re a bet- he’s not that into it. Kidding! Instagram—isn’t that why
PUSH BACK ON JOINING ACCOUNTS? ter partner when you’re happy Who knows why people use it exists? A solid response is
—NATE, Seattle, WA as an individual, but technol- the excuses they use to break channeling your disinterest:
Absolutely, but don’t be weird ogy is making it harder to live up? It’s hard to be honest when “You know 60 percent of
about it. I believe in being separate lives as a pair. When it you’re trying to spare some- the Internet is fake, right?”

38 April 2019 / MEN’S HEALTH

 LIFE

UPGRADES

Make
6

the
5

Shift 4

to
3

Stick
There’s a travel-friendly stick for almost every grooming need
now. GARRETT MUNCE gets through TSA with these.

1. Smell Good . . . 2. Shave . . . 3. Wash Up . . . 4. Protect 5. Look 6. Do Everything

An antiperspirant Creates a rich Rub this stick Your Skin . . . Less Tired . . . All at Once
in stick form?! lather like it over your face, This lip-balm- Promises to soothe It helps hydrate
Okay, the format’s came straight then use water sized sunscreen is puffiness and like a moisturizer,
not revelatory, but from a can. Great to massage into small enough to decrease dark cir- evens skin tone
the proprietary for manscaping. your skin, activat- stash in your pocket cles, both of which like a toner, and
stain-fighting Facescaping, ing the cleansing so you don’t forget make you look protects like a sun-
ingredient in this too! House 99 lather. Oars + Alps to reapply. Sun more run-down screen. Dr. Brandt
is. Dove Men+Care Sharp Cut Natural Charcoal Bum sunscreen than you feel. H20+ Pores No More
Stain Defense shaving stick Solid face wash face stick ($10), Oasis hydrating eye multi-performance
Clean stick ($4.39), ($16), available ($20), available at available at balm ($16), avail- stick ($35), avail-
available at Target. at Ulta. Oars + Alps. trustthebum.com. able at Amazon. able at Macy’s.

40 April 2019 / MEN’S HEALTH PHOTOGRAPH BY THE VOORHES

MUSCLE GROWTH
ADD 1 INCH TO YOUR ARMS IN 4 WEEKS
with the TUT and constant tension techniques
CARVE OUT YOUR ULTIMATE SIX PACK
by using one devastating plank finisher
BUILD A SUPERHERO BACK
with 3 row variations

ONLY
$29.95

15376

MensHealth.com/NewRules
 LIFE

Joyless. Was that what I was becoming?

I didn’t grow up with my father around—
my parents split when I was a few months
old—so I didn’t really have a model for
what a father was supposed to do. What I
thought I missed most from my childhood
was someone who would show me how to
fix cars and split wood and take risks and
practice discipline. I thought that my
childhood was somehow deficient for not
having an authoritative yet capable father
around. When my son was born, I began to
unconsciously adopt “manly” postures:
stoicism, discipline, courage.
The problem is if you don’t balance all
that out with wackiness and fun, then
those virtues will manifest as one thing:
asshole. The look I would give my son
wasn’t the look of a dad but of a bully.
After this realization, I did what any
American who wants to transform his
life does: I went on Amazon, typed in an
incredibly specific search term (“why
COOL DAD am I mean to my kids”), and bought the
best-reviewed book. A couple days later, 

Look Like a Dad Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids, by Laura

Markham, M.D., arrived. I read it in two
days. I marked up almost every page with
After being accused of being a joyless notes and underlines. I texted passages to
parent, ROSS MCCAMMON transformed the my wife. I absorbed it.
way he looks at his kids—literally. The book is not really about parenting.
It’s about being a kid. It’s about seeing

T
H E F I R S T WA R N I N G sign was
when one of my six-year-old son’s
friends compared me to Captain
von Trapp. He was watching The
Sound of Music with his parents one eve-
ning and Christopher Plummer appeared
on the screen for the first time as “the
Captain,” glaring at his happy children,
blowing that stupid whistle, and looking
generally like a miserable brute, and my
son’s friend said, “Hey, Dad. It’s Ross!”
My wife and I and the kid’s parents had
a good laugh about it over dinner when
the anecdote was relayed to us. Ha, Cap-
tain von Trapp. Because of the look! (Do
the look, honey!)
The look is that tight expression that
we do when our kids are “misbehaving” in
public—at a birthday party, say. You don’t
want to yell. No, that would only call atten-
tion, so you laser-beam what you think is
a discreet look that harnesses the expres-
sive power of your eyes and your mouth,
compressing them into one pinched,
terrifying mega-feature that says . . . I
am not happy, and I want you, a small
child, to telepathically feel the brunt of
my misery and displeasure. I will silently
destroy your misbehavior.   what the limits are. And they misbehave
It took being compared to a notorious
movie jerk for me to begin understand-
ing the effect I might be having on my
son. That planted the seed. Over a few
months I would catch myself doing the
look and feel a pang of regret even as the
look brought on the behavioral results I
wanted. My wife must have sensed I was
softening, because she started to point
out times when I’d let my displeasure with
my kids get the better of me. Around our
friends, it was the look. At home, it was a
stern tone of voice—an almost yell that
was somehow more emphatic than a full-
on yell. I began to have
+ a vague awareness that
Ross McCammon there might be a prob-
is the special lem, and then earlier
projects editor of this year, she dropped a
Men’s Health and
author of Works bomb: “You don’t want
Well with Others. to be a joyless father.”
life from a child’s point of view. It’s about
understanding that children don’t want
to misbehave. They want to figure out
because certain needs aren’t being met.
Now, the need might be a snack. The need
also might be love and support. (Good
parenting pretty much comes down to
snacks and hugs.)
There are dozens of memorable lines in
the book, but the one that got me was this:
“Remind yourself: . . . A child needs my love
most when he least deserves it.” Well, what-
ever dark emotional engine makes my face
twist up hasn’t been working since I read
those words, which rightly emphasize the
desperate need children have for parental
love above anything else—especially when
they’re feeling their most vulnerable. I’m
a better father to my son now, not because
I figured out how to be a dad but because I
figured out how to be a friend.
Am I still the Captain every now and
then? Sure. But it only takes a few bars of
“Edelweiss” to snap me right out of it. 

ILLUSTRATION BY BRIAN STAUFFER MEN’S HEALTH / April 2019 41

 LIFE
How Gross
Are You?
Every now and then,
food sits on the counter
all night and sheets
don’t get changed. But
how germy does that
make your life, really?
JESSICA MIGALA gets the
facts on how risky your
habits are to your health.
YOU EAT PIZZA THAT SAT
OUT ALL NIGHT.
HOW GROSS IS IT ? Pizza
crust is dry, the sauce is acidic,
and pepperoni and sausage are
preservative-laden—all things
that don’t support bacteria
survival, says Fraser. Different
story if you got spinach and
tomatoes: Moisture-rich top-
pings tend to breed microbes
that can gang up and fell you
(diarrhea, vomiting). Best to
refrigerate pizza within four
hours, before bacteria have the
chance to really go wild.
42 April 2019 / MEN’S HEALTH
YOU WASH YOUR COFFEE
CUP ONCE A WEEK.
HOW GROSS IS IT? If you take
your joe black, you’re in luck:
“Coffee has antimicrobial prop-
erties, and it doesn’t contain
the nutrients bacteria need to
multiply,” says Angela Fraser,
Ph.D., a food-safety professor
at Clemson University. Nutri-
ents like protein and sugar—
which means milk and creamer.
If your lips deposit bacteria that
combine with milk residue, you
could give birth to millions of
germs. Limit the chance: Wash
the mug every time.
YOU USE THE SAME
DISHRAG UNTIL IT STINKS.
HOW GROSS IS IT? That odor
is a telltale sign of a bona fide
science experiment. By the
time something smells, “it has
millions of organisms growing
inside,” says Reynolds. (You
need only hundreds to cause
illness.) That can include E.
coli and salmonella. Ideal:
Throw it in the washer after
every use. Since pretty much
no one does that, at least
spread the rag out to dry.
That’ll kill 90 percent of bacte-
ria, she says.
ILLUSTRATION BY RODRIGO DAMATI

YOU WEAR OLD GYM CLOTHES.
HOW GROSS IS IT? “Most
men have probably reworn
sweat-stained shirts without
a problem,” says Jason Miller,
M.D., of Schweiger Dermatol-
ogy Group in Freehold, New
Jersey. You might get minor
acne on your chest or arms;
worst case, a staph or fungal
infection or folliculitis. If you
do wear yesterday’s clothes,
kill acne-causing bacteria by
sudsing up after your session
with a body wash that con-
tains benzoyl peroxide.
YOU SKIP WASHING YOUR
HANDS AFTER PEEING.
HOW GROSS IS IT? None of
our experts specifically said
it’s okay, but it’s not the biggest
offense. “It’s unlikely that you’ll
pick up a germ while urinating
that’s hazardous in the way it
can be if you pick up a micro-
scopic particle of stool on your
hand when using the toilet,”
says William Schaffner, M.D.,
an infectious-disease expert at
Vanderbilt University. Washing
(with soap) after sitting, of
course, is nonnegotiable.
YOU SLEEP ON DIRTY SHEETS.
HOW GROSS IS IT? Many peo-
ple carry staph bacteria on their
skin without it causing trouble.
But it could if the germs you
naturally shed while you sleep
multiply enough, says Kelly
Reynolds, Ph.D., director of the
Environment, Exposure Science
and Risk Assessment Center at
the University of Arizona. Aim
to launder sheets weekly, or
at least wash your pillowcase,
since it’s next to germ entry
points (mouth, nose, and eyes).
YOU TEXT ON THE TOILET.
HOW GROSS IS IT? Is this at
your home, and do you live
alone? If so, fine to keep the
conversation going. Not so in a
public restroom, says microbi-
ologist Philip Tierno, Ph.D., of
the NYU School of Medicine.
Think about it: You touch the
door and locks, pick up a virus,
then deposit it on your phone
while texting. Later, your
phone goes up to your mouth,
and the virus goes in. You need
only one measly cell of noro-
virus to chain you to the toilet
(without texting) for up to three
days. Keep it in your pocket.
MEN’S HEALTH / April 2019 43
 LIFE
YOU GUYS
Why
She
It’s probably not why you think—and your
reaction might be making it worse. Here’s what
LAUREN LARSON wants you to do instead.
I W E NT TO A N O S TA LG I C showing
of the noted tearjerker Beasts of the
Southern Wild recently. In one of
the film’s many emotional climaxes,
a father tells his daughter, with his
dying breaths, “No crying.” From the
back of the theater, a woman issued
a single brazen wail. The proverbial
floodgates had been opened. The wom-
an’s crying started a chain reaction in
the theater, much as when someone
44 April 2019 / MEN’S HEALTH
Is
Crying?
barfs on a plane, and within seconds
every woman in the house was weep-
ing. I have seen the footage of mourn-
ers in North Korea after Kim Jong Il
died, falling to their knees and sob-
bing over Dear Leader departed, but
that was nothing. The women in the
theater dissolved. The men in the the-
ater sat quietly.
I’m always surprised when people
talk about crying as though it were
YOUR
EXPERT
In this column
and on
MensHealth
.com, Lauren
Larson writes about the
evolving dynamics between
men and women—from
hooking up to . . . everything else.
something tactical. I wish
cr y ing were just a nother
tool in my manipulation tool
kit, right between blowjobs
and passive aggression, that
could be deployed at will. And
maybe there really are adult
women out there who go into
negotiations and arguments
thinking, If I cry, I’ll get my
way. But I don’t know any of
those women, and anyone who
thinks tears are a “strategy”
has never seen me crying. My
face turns very red and stays
that way for four to six hours. I
fluctuate between low satanic
rattling and primal sobs that
carry all the pain of my female
ancestors. Snot is inevitable.
Kyle Hilton (Larson), Getty Images (Markle, Berry), Comedy Central/Everett Collection (Broad City), Heritage Image Partnership Ltd/Alamy (painting)
Cogent speech is impossible.
Mine are not Hollywood tears,
characterized by a single riv-
ulet sliding gently down one
cheek before trickling seduc-
tively into my heaving bosom.
Nothing about my crying elic-
its sympathy. For me, and for
every other woman I’ve spoken
to on the subject, crying is just
something that happens. And
in the right circumstances,
like in a dark theater full of
women who are also weeping,
crying feels really good.
I don’t think it’s my job to
suppress my tears. Ever since
high school, women wizened
by years in the workforce have told me
that I should never cry. If men don’t
see tears as manipulation, I came to
understand, they see them as a sign
of weakness. Writer Rebecca Traister
has described a similar revelation.
“They don’t know you’re furious,” Tra-
ister recalls a female coworker telling
her once after she burst into tears in
the office. “They think you’re sad and
will be pleased because they got to
 you.” Now, having cried in front of a
lot of men—in the office, over drinks,
and in bed—I no longer believe that. I
think men generally understand when
a woman is crying out of fury, frustra-
tion, or a sudden awareness of the mor-
“ All I want when
I’m crying hot
tears of rage is
tality of all things, à la Beasts. It’s just

assurance that
the prescribed responses to tears that
are condescending.
I’d argue (tearfully) that the worst
thing a man can say to a woman when
she’s crying is “Shhhhhhhhhhhhh.” I
had a shhhhhhhhhhhhh-ing boyfriend
I’m still being
once. If I began to cry during an argu-
listened to.
”
ment, he would pull me in with his
stupid manly arms and press my head
to his stupid manly chest, and then
he would ruin it all by shhhhhhhhhh-
hhh-ing me. I would indeed stop cry-
ing. But I didn’t stop crying because man. The three of us were drinking, Not everyone has the steely nerves
I was soothed. I stopped because my the conversation took a heavy turn, required to wordlessly watch someone
hate-fire at being silenced and talked and one of my friends began to cry as he else cry. In this way and this way only,
to as if I were a child dried up all the described something he was frustrated crying actually is infantile: It’s very
tears. Most of the vocabulary we use about. (I started to cry, too, because I difficult not to take action when you
to comfort crying adults is the same never miss an opportunity for cathar- see tears, especially when they’re tears
vocabulary we use to comfort cry- sis.) My other friend took a long sip of that you have a role in. So acknowledge
ing toddlers. While it’s nice to hear his beer, without breaking eye contact, the tears by passing along a tissue box,
“There, there” from my mother when and said nothing. He didn’t acknowl- but then say nothing. All I want when
I’m crying—partly because I’m decid- edge the tears across the table, and he I’m crying hot tears of rage is assur-
edly not her equal and partly because definitely didn’t shhhhhhhhhhhhh any- ance that I’m still being listened to,
I know that comforting me is giving one. He just let my friend talk, nodding even when what I’m saying is “Hnrrr-
her a Munchausen-by-proxy thrill— when appropriate. rngahhhhnurrrrr.”
it’s infuriating to hear it from a peer.
And it’s especially infuriating to hear
it from a male peer, because often I’m
already uncertain about whether he
sees me as an equal.
The proper response to crying de-
pends on where you are and the type
“IT’S FINE, RARELY WILL YOU
witness women crying
a tense meeting with
superiors, angry tears
of tears you’re dealing with. Sad tears GO ON” in the office, but it’s
happening all around
come without warning.
If this happens, it is
are the easiest. If I’m crying because How to handle you. Women are more important than
someone has died (onscreen or off), tears—women’s or extremely adept at ever to keep listening.
because I didn’t get the job I wanted, men’s—at work. finding quiet places For four years at my
to sob at work. If I’m last job, every time
or because you just dumped me, a long
about to cry sad tears, I I had an important
hug will suffice. The best thing you can immediately proceed to meeting with my boss,
do is offer up your manly arms and my designated crying I would weep. When
manly chest as a muscle cocoon where I spot, a single-occupant tears started, I would
can cry, shielded from the world. Every bathroom on another inevitably apologize,
floor. If you come upon and he would say, “It’s
pectoral workout you’ve ever done has a woman in transit to totally fine, go on.” As
been in preparation for this moment. her office crying spot, soon as I knew that
Rage tears are tougher. If I’m angry— do not stop her to ask, I wasn’t making him
at you or at the world at large—I don’t “Are you okay?” It’s uncomfortable (“It’s
perfectly acceptable totally fine”) and that he
want soothing words or pity, and I cer-
Leslie Xia (illustration)

to pretend you haven’t was interested in what

tainly don’t want advice. I just want to noticed. But every now I was saying (“go on”), I
explain, through tears, what is bother- and then, usually in would stop crying. —L. L.
ing me. I have been blessed to witness
one man crying in front of another

MEN’S HEALTH / April 2019 45

 LIFE

This Car
Saved My Life
When the McLaren he was in drove off a
California hillside, SEAN EVANS thought it was all over.
The car’s designers had other ideas.

FUUUUU—
We’re airborne. I’m a passenger in a
supercar with the roof down and we’re
hurtling down the side of this moun-
tain. I noticed the speedometer at 110
before I saw the road snake hard to the
right, a sickening feeling flooding my
body as we start . . . flying. My eyes clamp
shut, I bear-hug myself, willing my
six-foot-two-inch frame to disappear.
—UUUUUCK! I am going to die. I
assumed if I ever died in a car, I’d be
the one driving. Let it be quick. I don’t
want to slowly asphyxiate after break-
ing my neck. That would suc—
A massive impact jerks the car
around. My butt lifts out of the seat but
the seat belt pins me. It feels like piano
wire trying to split me. Ambient light
seeping through my clenched eyelids
vanishes. It’s dark and we’re still
careening at extreme speed.
Did we just roll? Are we upside
down? We are inverted and not
slowing down. Another enormous
bang and we’re right side up again,
per my internal gyroscope. We’re
still airborne and there’s a moment
of nothingness, just whooshing wind
and that stomach-dropping feeling,
like on a Six Flags ride that plummets
you 15 stories in five seconds. Is this
like the eye of the storm, the calm
before shit gets real? Will the landing
be what kills me? When will we lan—
An explosive thud and we’re rolling
over again. I can’t take much more.
Please, let this end. We slam around
again and finally come to a creaking
rest. I blink twice, recalibrating my
eyes, blinded by the bright California
sun. We’re right side up. Smoke
from the airbags and a cloud of dust
envelop the chirping car in a hazy
cloud, but it’s not on fire. Small victo-
ry there. My eyes survey my body
for blood or compound fractures.
No visible wounds. I spastically fire
each of my limbs, praying for pain-
less function. Success. My fingers
frantically spider over my face, feel-
ing for gashes or anomalies. Normal.
The driver checks out, too.
I close my eyes. For the first time
since the car left the road, I exhale.
I WAS THE ONE who suggested we
undertake the five-hour-plus drive
from Los Angeles to Monterey,
California. I even suggested the
very route that was nearly my
demise: Route 33, a serpentine road
that bisects the Los Padres National
Forest, twisting you up to a summit
of 5,100 feet before winding you
back down onto Route 166.

The recovered McLaren

570S, missing the front
fascia and still wearing
a coating of California
mountain dirt.

46 April 2019 / MEN’S HEALTH PHOTOGRAPHS BY JESSE CHEHAK

 LIFE
This was in August, when British
supercar maker McLaren let me, an auto-
motive journalist, pilot a 570S Spider,
a $235,000 drop-top coupe that boasts
a midmounted twin-turbo V-8 engine,
good for 562 horsepower and 443 lb-ft of
twist. From a dead stop, it shrieks to 60
mph in just over three seconds. In anoth-
er 6.5 seconds, 124 mph. The sensation
of that kind of speed is otherworldly. The
road and surroundings warp around you
as you hurtle through space in a machine
that becomes more alive the closer
you push it to the limit. McLarens are
beloved for how accessible they make
the knife’s edge.   patrol—“When vehicles go over the side
Another journalist, an eager twenty-
something kid from England whom I’d
never met, was my passenger.
Route 33 is not meant to be driven
at ten tenths. It’s a technical route with
tight hairpins that can appear out of
nowhere. When I swapped places
with the kid, he ripped off, seemingly
capable. The 570 was lively and twitchy
as he pressed harder, but his inputs
seemed smooth and the car was
responding favorably.
Less than five minutes later, he ran out
of talent and we ran out of road.
WE HAD TRAVELED 225 feet out from
where the 570’s now-mangled tires last
touched asphalt and some 70 feet down
the mountain. That’s about one New
The 570S’s cockpit. Special airbags under the dash help protect occupants’ knees and legs.
York City block. Although we’d gotten up
to 110 mph, we left the road at 70, flying
over two metal drainage pipes, each
the diameter of a manhole cover, and
missing most of the bigger trees. The car
was largely intact, though a wide debris
field dotted the steep and loamy moun-
tainside. My sweatshirt, stored in the
now-demolished frunk, was located some
80 feet back up the car’s flight path. My
phone was never found.
It took several minutes to catch my
breath after clambering up the 50-degree
slope to the top of the hill. The shock dis-
sipated and, after talking to the highway
here, we get body bags ready. We rarely see
survivors”—and watching him wave off
the air ambulance, I borrowed the officer’s
phone, walked away from the scene, and
called my parents. I kept it together until
my father quietly said, “He could’ve killed
you.” Those simple words triggered a full
breakdown and I just sobbed, thick tears
leaving streaky trails down my dirt-caked
face. I told him I needed to call my fiancée,
and his parting words stuck with me: “I’m
glad you’re okay. Planning a wedding is a
lot better than planning a funeral.”   every Formula One car eventually had a
I wiped away the tears and peered
down at the mangled McLaren, its bright-
orange body barely visible through the
thick shrubbery. One dihedral door was
still up, waving at me: Hi there. Glad I
was able to protect you.
“ THERE’S A ONE-PIECE carbon-fiber
safety cell under here,” a McLaren
engineer said later that evening at Pebble
Beach, rapping the side of a 600LT, the
newest model to emerge from the com-
pany’s Woking production line. “This
MonoCell is virtually bombproof. You’ll
survive just about anything in a McLar-
en.” I glanced at my only injuries: a nick
on my hand, the result of grasping at a
pricker bush when climbing up the moun-
tain, and the already-scabbing scrapes
on my shins from the knee airbags that
had shielded my legs. I wasn’t even sore,
contrary to the paramedics’ prediction.
Credit McLaren’s multi-champion-
ship Formula One team for the pioneer-
ing invention. Race cars are designed to
go fast and protect the driver. A decade
after founder Bruce McLaren perished
while testing one of his race cars, a car-
bon-cell “tub” was created for the 1981
MP4-1 F1 car. Rival teams pilloried the
idea, believing it to be unsafe and their
all-aluminum chassis to be superior.
After McLaren driver John Watson
walked away from a horrific fireball
crash that split his car in two at Monza,
carbon cell installed. When McLaren’s
iconic three-seat F1 road car debuted in
1992, engineers included a carbon tub.
McLaren employs a carbon tub as stan-
dard in every single car it produces—the
only car manufacturer to do so.
“We need the carbon fiber’s strength
to protect our occupants,” Charles
Wildig, head of design execution for
McLaren, offered in a charming British
accent. “Especially, for example, when
enthusiasm overcomes adhesion and a
high-energy crash results.”
To create the tub for all McLaren’s
vehicles, dry sheets of carbon fiber as thin
as two pieces of paper are placed into a tool
mold and resin is injected into the mold
under high pressure. After the mixture is
compressed and baked, you’ve got a tub that
can withstand more than 50 tons of force
in a front crash. “That’s the equivalent of
turning the tub on its end and stacking
four London buses on top. It won’t break,”
Wildig said. McLaren declined to com-
ment on the price, but producing a single
carbon-fiber tub likely costs about $10,000.
In the 570S Spider, the tub is the stable,
core building block upon which bits are
added to complete the chassis. For exam-
ple, the A-pillars—the sides of the wind- The buttress
behind the seat
shield—marry reinforced aluminum to backs helps offer
the tub. When I expressed surprise that protection in case
the pillars didn’t crumple during our of a rollover.

wreck, because they had visible damage

from the impact, Wildig shared, “We
require those pillars to withstand more
than three times the weight of the 570S
being placed on the corner of the wind-
shield without breaking.”
Crashes like the one I survived are
extremely rare. “Rolling a McLaren is
This A-pillar is
really difficult because of how low the aluminum, but
mass is to the ground. Driving a McLar- is welded to the
“tub” and can
en off a slope is one of the few ways you
withstand more
can do this—as you well know,” Wildig than three times
said. “Crashing into an object is over in the car’s weight
without crushing.
100 milliseconds, and big aluminum
beams up front absorb that force in a
front impact. In a sustained crash like
yours, where it’s a long time before the
vehicle comes to a stop, shedding energy
is vital to surviving.” Our debris field
meant the kinetic energy from the crash The side
sloughed off the parts of the car that were mirror was torn
designed to disintegrate, like the front clean off during
the crash.
fascia and even the frunk.
“We crashed one 675LT twelve times,”
Wildig recalled. “The tub was perfectly
fine after each test, so we rebuilt the
chassis around it and crashed it again.
You can’t do that with a metallic car.”
The tub McLaren incorporates into
every model it produces represents the
apex of safety. Ordinary cars don’t have a
carbon cocoon because the likes of, say, a
Nissan Maxima aren’t powerful enough
to warrant it. Thanks to solid crash-
safety standards, though, manufac-
turers have worked tirelessly to build a
(usually aluminum) version of a safety
cell into every vehicle, giving you a chance
to walk away from what might’ve been a
deadly crash just a few decades ago. side mirror. “A memento,” he said. Still snapped me back to the crash, and it took
I’m typically not one to reflect on caked with dirt, it resides beside my a second to regain my focus. When I let
seismic life events, but when the event bed. Whenever my eyes study it, I flash another journalist tear up the side of a
is so catastrophic you mentally replay back to the instant when I knew we were mountain in Abu Dhabi in a new Audi,
it daily, multiple times, you are altered, about to fly off the mountain. Goose my brow was flecked with sweat. But
whether you like it or not. I drive slightly bumps always appear. when I’m behind the wheel, when I’m in
slower now, especially with a passen- Returning to work has been a largely control, I feel confident.
ger onboard. I get the teensiest pang of smooth process, with few hiccups. While I will never be a race-car driver, but I
panic when I’m on curvaceous mountain testing the new Ford Raptor, engineers feel a slight kinship, because the same
roads. And I’m warier of riding with any- invited us to jump the pickup on a closed, technology that protects them also saved
one I don’t fully know behind the wheel. off-road course. I was stoked until the my life. “I’m terribly sorry this accident
Before I left the site, a firefighter minute the wheels left the ground. The happened to you, but I’m glad you were in
handed me a blinker from under the sensation of falling in a speeding vehicle a McLaren,” Wildig said. Me too.

MEN’S HEALTH / April 2019 49

 54 ........................... W H Y
YOU R TECH
N EEDS A R EST
56 .................. LIFTING YOU R MOOD
57 .............................. W H AT W E GA IN
FROM PA IN
60 ............... SAY ING “TH A N K YOU”

More than 40 million American

adults suffer from an anxiety
disorder, but Men’s Health
advisor DREW RAMSEY, M.D.,
says you can learn to make it
work for you. Take a page from
the psychiatrist’s playbook
to understand your anxiety

O U
U R
R

R
Y
Y O

E
TTYY

W
IIEE

O
N
N X
X

P
EE A
A

R
KK

E
MMAA

US P TIM* PUT HIS head in his hands and started to cry. “I’m
so messed up; this thing controls me.” Clinical prowess
means clinical timing, and mine was off that day. I looked
Tim in the eye: “I think your anxiety is your superpower.”
Messed up? It was hard to agree with him. Tim’s life
was what men hope for. He was 39 years old, in great
shape, powerful and wealthy, and his wife and kids
adored him. Yet inside he was a maelstrom of fear and
worry. He’d wake up in the middle of the night in a sweat
and review his sent emails for errors. Important meet-
ings meant crampy bowels. He started drinking at night

* N A M E H AS B E E N C H A N G E D

PHOTOGRAPHS BY JOSH GOSFIELD MEN’S HEALTH / April 2019 51

 MIND

and couldn’t fall asleep without at least

“a couple.” He’d get a weird tingling feel-
ing in his fingers. Three times in the past
year, a searing pain in his chest forced a
trip to the ER and eventually a referral to
me, a psychiatrist.
Anxiety makes us human. Our psyche
is tuned to scan the environment for
threats and to anticipate danger. And
this is what frustrates so many of my
patients: Their worries and fears often
drive their success, but they can also
overwhelm it. That’s where I come in.
Harness your anxiety and it can clue you
in to what’s actually happening in your
world, and you can use that information
to raise your daily game.
Male anxiety is serious business.
Untreated, it can be disabling, increasing
the odds of alcohol abuse, drug abuse,
and depression, and doubling the risk of
a fatal heart attack. Anxiety also fosters
avoidance, something men already
struggle with when it comes to mental
health. But with proper treatment, you’ll
understand your anxiety, which helps
you really zero in on what’s not working in
your life and then manage things better.
For instance, Tim’s anxieties offered
useful cues that aided us in figuring out
ways his life could run more smoothly.
Here, the playbook that I see work with
anxiety-ridden guys like Tim.

1.
FACE YOUR FEARS
FIRST, I RULE out any medical
causes of anxiety, then we
focus on symptoms. The goal
of treatment isn’t to turn off
a patient’s radar but rather
to tune it. Anxiety tends to
get stuffed down instead of
surfaced and understood.
So honor your anxiety as a
signal to look deeper. Usually
this feeling has a pattern to
it, and my patients use this
pattern to help crack the
code of their anxiety. The
feeling often relates to our
perceived notion of control
(which is why the fear of
flying is so common) and our
unconscious fears of our own
fragility and mortality.
Tim and I did a deep dive
into his worries. When did his
anxiety start? Does it “live”
in a certain part of his body?
What are the triggers? What
makes it better or worse?
Did he worry as a kid? Are
other members of his family
anxious? Family dynamics,
especially conflicts with par-
ents, spouses, and children,
are common triggers. I asked
Tim to be Sherlock Holmes,
as the details of a person’s
anxiety lie in the cognitive
distortions and psychology
that drive it.
Clinically, some worries
have a clear, conscious expla-
nation, like a meeting with
the boss, and they become
amplified in a patient with
anxiety. Other times, they’re
part of a syndrome such as
generalized anxiety disorder
or panic disorder (which was
part of the case with Tim).
Anxiety also runs in families;
having a family member with
an anxiety disorder greatly
increases the odds of your
having one as well.
But sometimes the
cause isn’t clear. Tim would
describe a feeling of tight-
ness in his throat some days,
even when relaxing at home.
This was a major hint. What
emerged was that Tim had
serious relaxation issues. As
his career took off, family time
became an afterthought.
He wasn’t worried about
his in-box; he was worried
that he was an absent, over-
worked, and irritable father.
It wasn’t rocket science, but
it was an idea that he hadn’t
ever aired out as meaningful.
Today, Tim knows his tingly
fingers and chest pain are
symptoms of his panic disor-
der. He now sees the choking
feeling as a sign that he’s not
present with his wife and kids
in some way. Then he follows
the essential next steps to
support his recovery.

52 April 2019 / MEN’S HEALTH

 2.
GRAB YOUR TOOLS
THESE STRATEGIES are like having a
mental-health Leatherman in your pocket.
RECRUIT YOUR BREATH: Breathing is your
number-one anxiety fighter because
it soothes your nervous system. We
reframed Tim’s tingly fingers as a signal
to focus on his breath. Many breathing
techniques work; start as simply as inhal-
ing through your nose for four counts
and out through your mouth for six.
BURN AND NURTURE: Panic attacks and
other anxiety symptoms don’t feel like
superpowers. But having the skills to
know your body’s cues and to stay nour-
ished and rested to prevent the panic?
That makes you unstoppable.
I recommend discharging anxiety
through intense physical exercise. For
Tim, that meant CrossFit three times a
week. And since you’re more suscepti-
ble to bouts of anxiety after a few nights
of poor sleep or during times of low
blood sugar, it’s important to create a
structure of healthy eating and self-care.
REBOOT YOUR MIND: Cognitive behavioral
therapy helps people better understand,
express, and reframe their internal
emotional experience. CBT is based on
the premise that much of our distress is
caused by faulty thinking patterns. You
learn to recognize “cognitive distor-
tions,” such as all-or-nothing thinking,
catastrophizing, and scolding yourself.
TAKE MEDICINE: For some, medication
is a silver bullet. Selective serotonin
reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) are effec-
tive but require a month to work, so
for immediate relief, people often take
benzodiazepines like Xanax, Ativan, and
Valium. When I met Tim, he wasn’t sleep-
ing well, was escalating his drinking, and
lived in fear of a panic attack. I started
him on Lexapro and Ativan. This got him
to focus better at work and helped him
sleep. Understanding and building tools
to deal with anxiety is nearly impossible
in a crisis, so meds gave us some runway
to do our work and gave Tim the symp-
tom control he needed to function.
3. TEST YOURSELF,
OVER AND OVER
WHILE THE psychological causes of anxiety are complex, the
approach that works is rather simple: Understand and confront
your fears through exposure. Exposure should be gradual,
intense, and frequent. For some forms of anxiety, how to confront
your fears is obvious. Worried about public speaking? Join Toast-
masters and make speeches. Terrified of dating? Time for Tinder!
You get the drift. Other times, as with Tim, it takes a minute. Tim
wasn’t scared of email; after all, his email game was tight. He was
worried that valuing his family put him in conflict with his boss,
who didn’t have kids, and with his professional goals.
Tim’s entire world had become his in-box. It struck me one day
how much he valued his family time but how the fear of looming
emails dominated his weekends. My long-term plan for him was
ambitious: a vacation with his phone off. We started with no phone
for a few hours on Saturday morning. Just 45 minutes in, his mind
was racing, his fingers were tingling, and he was so distracted he
burned the French toast he was making for his kids. The road to
recovery is like this at first. Naming anxiety doesn’t tame it.
For Tim, the Lexapro helped him tolerate more exposure and
also improved his mood a bit. Instead of having him go on vaca-
tion with his phone off, we replaced that challenge with a daily
one: He now has a “phone jail” that stores his device during
dinner and for much of the weekend.
4.
PLAN AND MONITOR
FINALLY, being vigilant about triggers can really help you use
your anxiety in a positive way, because it’s all about listening to
your alert system. For instance, Tim’s anxiety worsens during the
first week in December—that’s when his father passed away, and
it’s the same week his annual reports are due. Rather than dread-
ing the season, he now spends time listening to his dad’s favorite
music. He also doubles down on exercise and sends voice memos
to his assistant about his early annual-report concerns.
I saw Tim several weeks ago for a check-in; he shook his head in
disbelief about his anxious state when we first met. He continues
his high-stress job, but he has tapered off the Lexapro and works
an impressive self-care plan, including daily breathing and relax-
ation, exercising with friends, eating a healthy diet, and drinking
alcohol much more sparingly. His anxiety still exists (“I’m a wor-
rier!”), but he sees it as a way to sense the sticky conflicts that are
central to his work before others do. He’s aware of his tendency to
catastrophize. Of course, with more focus on his family, he wor-
ries, like all fathers, about his kids and his wife . . . and that strikes
me as just about right. Severe anxiety brought Tim to my office for
all the right reasons. He dialed into it and now knows how to use it
to maintain the life of connection that he truly desired.
MEN’S HEALTH / April 2019 53
 MIND

z
z
z z

Why
Your t
s
Tech e
Needs a R
CASSIE SHORTSLEEVE tracks down how to give it one without
the process turning into a nightmare.

N
INE HOURS. It’s a rare person who gets
to invest that much time in sleeping
every night, but we spend at least that
amount each day with our faces stuck
to our screens. About 46 percent of us look at a
device before we even get out of bed. That ends up
being hell on our neck, eyes, and well-being. For
producing total digital detox, just a few easy
ways of escaping your daily screen grind that
can help let other things happen for you in
life. Like experiencing the morning quiet for a
change. Or catching what your mind is telling
you. Or actually hearing what your friends are
talking about. “We’ve become a culture that
Prop styling: Miako Katoh

starters, smartphone use doesn’t help us handle
stress, and one new study among college students
found that social-media use causes loneliness.
So maybe you and your screen need a little
break. We’re not suggesting any kind of anxiety-
doesn’t know how to listen because we’re so
busy entertaining ourselves and distracting
ourselves,” says Nancy Colier, L.C.S.W., author of
The Power of Off. To painlessly turn down your
screens’ power and tune up your life, start here.

54 April 2019 / MEN’S HEALTH PHOTOGRAPHS BY ALLIE HOLLOWAY

 RELYING TOO MUCH on tech to do your job can stunt
productivity and keep you from building relation-
1. HAVE A 2. AT WORK, ships that lead to doing promotion-worthy work.
TECH-FREE COLLABORATE The totally obvious move that too few people actu-
WORKOUT IN PERSON ally do: If you typically brainstorm with colleagues
via Slack, try it face-to-face. Exercise—even a
short walk to your colleague’s workspace—affects
neuroplasticity, the brain’s ability to rewire itself.
KEEPING TABS on your splits You’ll likely come up with more ideas, says Jamie Krenn, Ph.D., an adjunct assis-
or heart rate via tech may tant professor of psychology and education at Teachers College, Columbia
boost performance. But University. If you’re on a virtual team, at least pick up the phone. Hearing some-
mentally zeroing in on how one’s voice creates an emotional bond and fosters better connections overall.
you’re moving, what muscles
you’re using, and how you feel
instead can ensure proper
form, reduce injury risk, and 3. SOLO IT
even increase your understand-
ing of your own body, says Joel ANYTIME
Martin, Ph.D., C.S.C.S., an assis-
tant professor of kinesiology at
George Mason University. LEAVING YOUR DEVICES
You can gauge how hard behind is tough at first,
you’re working by how much we agree, because we’re
you can talk. With an easy effort, so conditioned to look for
you should be able to speak more likes, more posts, and
in full sentences. Ratchet it up more entertainment that
to medium and talking will be we’ve started to believe
difficult. During hard intervals, we need these things to
you should only be able to say be happy, says Colier. But
a word or two (or a few erghs), a solo coffee or a brisk
says Janet Hamilton, C.S.C.S., by-yourself walk may help
founder of Running Strong. you stop the endless quest
When you’re not glued to for more—especially
your data, you can watch your if, while you’re doing it,
breath in the cold morning air or you ask yourself, What’s
study the way light reflects off happening in my body right
buildings. Both can bring about now? In my mind? In my
awe, a happiness-inducing emotional world? Not only
feeling that you experience can this help you feel more
when you’re totally engrossed fulfilled, but it can also
in a moment, says Paul Piff, provide important insight
Ph.D., who studies the emotion into why you turn to tech in
at the University of California, the first place.
Irvine. Awe has even been When you have success
associated with decreased with that, take it up a notch:
markers of inflammation. Sit down and simply expe-
rience stillness for a few
minutes. This builds a deep
peace that helps people
DOWNLOAD IRONICALLY, tech
is stepping up to help
you step back from it.
weather life’s struggles,
says Colier. If it breeds a
TO Facebook and Instagram
have launched tools to
deep fear of a vacuum,
try noting what you’re
help users dial down their Moment Space FlipD
DETOX browsing. And the newest
operating systems from
Set a limit for
how often you
ID your “persona”
(do you use your
Lock yourself
out of your
grateful for. (See page 60
for the how-tos.) Do you
Apple and Google let you can pick up your phone to battle phone or really appreciate how your
set time limits on apps. phone. You’ll be boredom?) and set goals to
notified when get a precise “unplug” from it
running partners stuck with
These three free apps
help you curb your use you go over (or plan for slashing for specified pe- you during your tough long
slightly differently. are about to). screen time. riods of time. runs? Tell them—in person.

MEN’S HEALTH / April 2019 55

 Mindfulness-meditation
minutes of “green programs can help
exercise” may boost reduce anxiety and

Your Mood
self-esteem and depressive symptoms,
mood, according to say Johns Hopkins Uni-
researchers in the UK. versity researchers (and
every friend of yours who
swears they’re amazing).
INFOMEN

Use these science-tested strategies when

you’re running low on oomph.
56 April 2019 / MEN’S HEALTH

We spend millions to
escape discomfort,so why
do we also shell out for
races, workouts,
and other events that
hurt so bad?
T
HE MARKET for masochism
is booming. Forget Ironman
triathlons; now there are Deca
Ironmans—ten Ironman triath-
lons in ten days—and endurance races
like obstacle courses featuring ice-cold
pools, 10,000-volt electric shocks, and
tear gas. One of the most popular series,
Tough Mudder, has attracted more than
3.5 million participants (20,000 of
them with Tough Mudder tattoos) since
it began in 2010. Often compared to a
cult because of the zeal of its adherents,
CrossFit has 15,000-plus locations
(more than Starbucks) and an estimated
4 million devotees—outnumbering the
populations of Wyoming, Vermont,
Alaska, and North Dakota combined.
Where there’s pain, of course, there’s
gain. That’s how training works: You
stress your body so it adapts to handle
more stress. But there are more agree-
able ways of achieving results—in
our air-conditioned, centrally heated
gyms—which implies it’s pain itself
Jobe Lawrenson
that many of us want.
So why should we seek suffering?
Pain—when you choose it—brings more
JAMIE MILLAR explores
than stronger muscles and bragging
rights. Scientists suggest that people seek
it out to provide benefits that a comfort-
able existence just can’t deliver.
TIRING OF PLEASURE
YOU’D THINK that convenience, luxury,
and all our feel-good purchases and pur-
suits would bring us happiness. Technol-
ogy, for instance, has saved us from all
kinds of hardships: hunter-gathering,
cold showers, dial-up Internet. Yet
according to the World Health Organiza-
tion, the most prevalent cause of disabil-
ity on the planet is depression, affecting
322 million people; that’s an 18 percent
increase since 2005.
The problem with pleasure is that,
uninterrupted, it wears off fast. Studies
show that lottery winners see a drop in
happiness just 18 months after their win;
they become habituated to their new life-
style and derive less enjoyment from their
new everyday activities. Researchers have
been studying this for decades, and you’ve
probably experienced it: It’s why the fifth
ride in business class is rarely as satisfy-
ing as the first. (So we’ve heard, anyway.)
MIND
what we get from
all that agony.
But bring some pain on board and
it disrupts this monotony. It can also
amplify subsequent pleasure—think a
hot shower after a cold run. What’s more,
relief from pain can make you happier
than you would have been without the
pain in the picture. Relief is not just the
absence of a negative, says social psychol-
ogist Brock Bastian, Ph.D., author of
The Other Side of Happiness; it’s a posi-
tive in itself. It may be the antidote to
a life that feels brainy, confined, over-
scheduled, and underlived.
GIVING YOUR MIND A BREAK
“THE MORE COMFORT we have, the more
we will actively seek out discomfort,”
says Bastian. It’s no accident that Tough
Mudder races are marketed with an
emphasis on the “tough,” notes Rebecca
Scott, Ph.D., a marketing lecturer at
Cardiff Business School, who teamed up
with colleagues to research Tough Mudder
participants for a study published in the
Journal of Consumer Research.
“We found that a target market for
these races tended to be people with
highly intellectualized jobs, where the
MEN’S HEALTH / April 2019 57
 MIND

mind is very foregrounded and the
body is backgrounded,” Scott says.
“Pain helps bring our bodies back to
our attention. You’re released from
your mind.” An extreme example
is the electroshock field you need to
get through in some Tough Mudders:
“Pain completely fills your entire
universe,” she says. “You retreat
into your body in a way that’s unique
and can leave the rest of the world in
abeyance.” The big negotiations, the
niggling email tasks, the hassle with
your health insurer—when pain is
there, all of these concerns aren’t.
GETTING BETTER AT PAIN
WILLIAM BRIDEL, Ph.D., of the
University of Calgary, interviewed
amateur Ironman athletes to try to
understand why anyone would choose
something so grueling as a “leisure”
activity. “A few of them conceptual-
ized pushing their bodies to the limit
as pleasurable,” he explains. “But I’d
say the majority positioned it as a way
to prove they could tolerate the pain
they’d face.” Not so much masoch-
ism, then, as self-mastery.
And, to a certain degree, all this
helps you master the threat of pain as
well. There’s a principle sometimes
described as “benign masochism”
that comes into play when you trigger
and override your body’s threat
response, safe in the knowledge that
there is no real danger. Maybe that’s by
watching a thriller, or scaling the final
wall in an adventure race. Research
suggests that many people actually en-
joy the way their bodies feel when they
encounter these “safe” threats, so that
pain is perceived as positive.
In addition, the greater your
capacity for pain, the less threatening
it becomes. You’re likely not born
with a fixed level of pain endurance;
one study suggests that tolerance
may be improved after repeated
exposure to pain.
This resilience can leak into other
areas of life. For instance, Matt
“Thommo” Thompson, a former mem-
ber of the Royal Navy and currently a
coach at Reebok CrossFit Stockport
in the UK, calls himself “a bit of an
introvert” and credits ultraintensive
training with building his self-belief.
“Through CrossFit, I’ve accomplished
things I’d never thought I could do,” he
says. “That gave me the self-assurance
to pursue things in other walks of life.
I have a lot more confidence now when
it comes to meeting new people.”
LIVING A BETTER LIFE
OF COURSE, the blisters, the cuts,
the T-shirt, and the finish line can
give you a lot to show off on your
social-media feed. These athletes
aren’t immune to the thrill of the
“You did what?” response. But that’s
not the whole reason they do it, says
Scott. All this swag “is very meaning-
ful and powerful to those who live
this cubicle-bound lifestyle. It shows
that they live a fulfilled life—that
their body has lived.”

MISERY MANAGEMENT
Start learning to get comfortable with discomfort on your
next long run. Use these strategies from Steve Ingham, Ph.D.,
a performance consultant for world-class athletes.

WHEN THE BURN WHEN BOREDOM WHEN YOU WANT

KICKS IN
Enjoy the scenery. “Ath-
letes are good at ‘dissoci-
ating’ pain signals—that
is, tuning in to something
more pleasant,” Ingham
says. “Focusing on
your environment makes
you more efficient.”
DESCENDS
Push harder when you
want to put on the brakes.
Exercise can fuel creativity
and problem solving, help-
ing you think differently
and come up with ideas.
You’re one mile away from
a revelation.
TO QUIT
Switch your focus from
your proximal goal (com-
pleting this ten-miler, say)
to your distal goal (losing
five percent of your body
fat). Know your “why,”
says Ingham, and every
step will feel easier.
 MIND
“Thank You” Is Good for You
Learn to be more grateful. DAN HARRIS
says your brain will thank you for it.
W
E ARE LIVING in an era of
increasing unhappiness.
Diagnoses of major depres-
sion in the United States
went up 33 percent from 2013 to 2016.
Loneliness abounds. Anxiety affects 8
percent of children and teens. Hospitaliza-
tions for child suicide ideation or attempts
rose for all age groups—including 5- to
11-year-olds—between 2008 and 2015.
Recently, as part of a Good Morning
America segment, I went to a junior high
school in Schaumburg, Illinois, where
they are endeavoring to counteract these
pernicious trends. As the superintendent
told me, it’s not enough to teach kids
math and reading; you have to teach them
how to be successful humans.
One of their principal tactics? Gratitude.
Gratitude is one of the most misunder-
stood—and yet deeply useful—concepts
trending today. For example, if you think
taking a selfie in front of your private jet
and posting it with #BLESSED is a way to
practice gratitude, you’re doing it wrong.
60 April 2019 / MEN’S HEALTH
It’s not about showboating. Nor is it about
maniacally focusing on the positive and
pretending we live in a problem-free
world. Oh, and it’s also not a way of using
thank-yous as a form of interpersonal
manipulation. (One of my favorite cyni-
cal takes on the concept is “Gratitude is
the expectation of future favors.”)
Done correctly, gratitude is radically
simple: It’s the deliberate attempt to
not take the many good things in your life
for granted. What’s more, science suggests
gratitude’s linked to better mental health—
and, if practiced regularly, more exercise.
To put this gratitude campaign into
action in Illinois, the school recruited
Shawn Achor, author of a best-selling
book called The Happiness Advantage,
which argues that gratitude at any age
can boost energy, improve sleep, reduce
depression, and increase both optimism
and social connection—two of the great-
est predictors of long-term happiness.
Achor, who manages to be relentlessly
chipper without being annoying, is a
happiness researcher with degrees from
Harvard. When I interviewed him in the
school library, he rattled off rapid-fire,
and often oddly specific, statistics. For
example, he told me that gratitude cor-
relates with a 23 percent drop in head-
aches, backaches, and fatigue.
The push for gratitude is not merely
academic for Achor. Notwithstanding
his seemingly congenital congeniality,
he has suffered from bouts of depression.
The core of his message is that happiness
does not have to rely solely on our genes or
our environment; it can be a choice. His
work suggests that we can create happi-
ness hygiene habits.
“If, for just two minutes a day, we got
someone to think of three things that
they’re grateful for, or if we expressed our
gratitude once over the course of the day
to somebody else . . . we train our brain to
become more optimistic and positive,”
says Achor. And “if we keep the pattern
going, it actually allows us to make the
choice of happiness an easier choice.”
ILLUSTRATION BY GARY TAXALI

Achor has a series of gratitude hacks
that anyone can do—even seventh grad-
ers. Since the results have been impres-
sive at the school—it went from the 73rd
percentile of academic achievement
scores nationwide to the 96th percen-
tile—I decided to spend a week test-
driving two new daily habits to see how
they could pay off for me.
First, every day, I wrote a thank-you
email to someone I felt really deserved
it. Second, every night as my head hit the
pillow, instead of engaging in my habitual
rumination about whatever problems
needed to be solved, I spent several min-
utes thinking about three new things
that had happened during the day for
which I was grateful.
Achor says these gratitude practices
work by building new mental muscles
that scan for the positive. Basically, this
practice knocks us out of our default
mode. Our brains evolved to have a pro-
nounced negativity bias. Why? According
to Achor, it’s because early human life
was precarious, and we needed to be on
the lookout for things like saber-toothed
tigers. However, this threat-detection
wiring doesn’t always serve us well in a
modern context, where our brains unnec-
essarily revert into ancient freak-out
mode when, say, we’re dissatisfied by our
lack of Instagram likes.
But, you might ask, can gratitude
really help everyone? What if you live in
a refugee camp, or are battling a life-
threatening disease? How is it possible
to feel grateful then?
Achor says that when he first got into
this research, he thought happiness
might be too hard for certain people. But
to his surprise, he’s found happiness in
every environment, from cancer wards to
prisons to combat zones. “We could find
meaning in the daily activities that can
move us forward,” he says. “And I think
happiness could remain an option—
wherever we live in the world.”
For me, after just one week I found that
Achor’s gratitude exercises genuinely
helped. Every time I sent an apprecia-
tive email, I received a warm response,
dropping a nice hit of dopamine into my
in-box, which is otherwise a source of
diabolical overwhelm.
Kyle Hilton (Harris)
The real winner, though, was the night-
ly routine of contemplating three new
positive developments in my life. I found
the ritual bleeding out into the rest of my
UP YOUR
INNER GAME
Dan Harris
day, forcing me to occasionally pull back is a coanchor
of ABC’s
from my relentless rush to cross things off
Nightline and
my to-do list. It contributed to a goal I’d the weekend editions of Good
been pursuing for years through my daily Morning America. He’s the
meditation practice—trying to cultivate author of 10% Happier and
a sort of nostalgia for the present, rather Meditation for Fidgety Skeptics.
than constantly ruing the past or project-
ing into the future. All my life, I’d heard
the exhortation to stop and smell the
roses, but no one had ever actually told me
how to do it. Achor’s hacks were a way to Shawn Achor in that middle school in
operationalize one of my favorite expres- suburban Chicago.
sions: “These are the good old days.” I ultimately dropped the thank-you
To be clear, this dose of gratitude did emails, because I found that creating the
not stop me from worrying and strate- time to craft a new note every day added
gizing about all the things that I need to stress to the already Sisyphean task of
worry and strategize about. Another of managing my digital tsunami.
my favorite expressions is “The price of The nightly gratitude ritual is still
security is insecurity.” I still believe that going strong, however—and I suspect it is
to be true. It’s just that I found gratitude here to stay. I find it incredibly rewarding
to be a nice corrective when I was taking to have a practice that orients me toward
my worrying too far. the positive stuff I might otherwise sim-
I want to be super clear about this: ply experience and expunge.
Being grateful is definitely not the same I don’t know whether it has contributed
as being complacent. Here’s one more to a 23 percent drop in headaches, back-
saying I love: “Everything is perfect. But aches, and fatigue, but I do know that it
it could use a little improvement.” feels damn good, and that it is also shock-
As I write this column, it has now ingly effective at putting me to sleep.
been several months since I first met I’ll take it. #BLESSED.
HOW TO
GET GRATEFUL
HOW CAN we make Before Sleep. Check out happens, jot it down on
gratitude operational 10percenthappier.com/ a piece of paper, fold it
in our lives? A few menshealth and the up, and put it in a jar. It’s
exercises you can do 10% Happier app to get a visual cue: You can see
while brushing your the meditation for free. in time how the jar gets
teeth or going to bed: full and be reminded of
A Gooey Message: the positivity in your life.
Three Good Things: Write a two-minute
Happiness researcher email or text praising The Doubler:
Shawn Achor suggests or thanking a different Think of one positive
taking two minutes a person each day—a experience each day.
day to think of three high school English Bullet-point three details
new things you’re teacher, a spouse, or a you remember about it:
grateful for and why. colleague, Achor says. what you were wearing,
Better yet, write them “Keep it short.” He says what you said. “Your
down so you can go it can transform not only brain in that moment is
back and look at them your level of happiness reliving the experience,”
at the end of the week. but your social connec- Achor says, in essence
“It’ll train your brain to tion, which has cascad- “doubling” that memory.
become more opti- ing health impacts. Do it for 21 days in a row
mistic.” We unlocked a and you start to see a
Gratitude Jar:
great meditation by Jeff trajectory of meaning in
Warren called Gratitude Anytime anything good your life. —D. H.
MEN’S HEALTH / April 2019 61
 Hillshire farm® turkey
is slow roasted for hours.
And devoured in seconds.

®©2017 TYSON FOODS, INC.

®
At Hillshire Farm , right after we carve our deliciously seasoned turkey, we double seal
every slice for freshness. Which leads to the best Turkey, Arugula & Tomato sandwich
you’ve ever tasted. Visit HillshireFarm.com for more sandwich inspiration.
 Could a trip to the supermarket change your life? It’s not crazy,
at least we don’t think so. For the past two decades, editors from this magazine have trawled
the grocery aisles for the products most deserving of our cart space. A few winners
have turned into regulars in our own home kitchens, where we swear they make snacks and
meals taste better while also making us feel better about our health. Put these staples
on your shopping list. Reap the benefits. And (maybe) change your life.

TED+CHELSEA CAVANAUGH FOOD STYLING BY MICHELLE GATTON

MEN’S HEALTH / April 2019 63

 RUSTIC CRUST
ORGANIC
PIZZA ORIGINALE
TOTAL AWARDS: 8
Whole-wheat flour
and flaxseed build a
fiber-rich foundation
for DIY pies. In an era
when fast-food chains
hold their cheap
pizzas to the oh-so-
lofty standard of “hot”
and “ready,” there’s
all the more reason to
bake your own tastier
pizza at home.
PER 1⁄6 CRUST: 140 cal-
ories, 5g protein, 27g
carbs (2g fiber), 2g fat

KING ARTHUR
PREMIUM 100%
WHOLE WHEAT FLOUR
TOTAL AWARDS: 7
This pick commands
the throne because
it doesn’t undergo
bleaching, a process
that strips nutrition
and flavor. The result:
nutty-tasting, fiber-
rich, soul-satisfying
bread, biscuits, waf-
fles, and flapjacks.
PER ¼ CUP: 100 calo-
ries, 4g protein, 22g
carbs (3g fiber), 1g fat

A NOTE ABOUT THIS LIST: We narrowed down the pool to the past ten years of awards.
(Too many products from the early days are now unavailable.) Then we tallied the hon-
ors to determine which items have collected the most mentions over those ten years.
We checked these winningest products for current availability and compared them
with the rest of their competitors to ensure that they still stand as champions. In gen-
eral, a Best Food tastes great (rigorous taste tests are our favorite part of the job) and HEINZ ORGANIC
contains the most protein and fiber for the fewest calories and added sugars. We also TOMATO KETCHUP
prize short ingredient lists and organic products. Here’s where we landed. TOTAL AWARDS: 6
They slap “organic”
ORGANIC VALLEY there’s almond milk, more protein and less utive awards. And on everything now-
REDUCED FAT 2% MILK soy milk, hemp milk, added sugar, and it for good reason: It’s adays. But this
TOTAL AWARDS: 8 and oat milk. Look, flat-out tastes better supremely creamy organic-fied product
Whole, 2 percent, those alterna-milks than those options. If with no weird after- has negligible cal-
or skim used to be help people with food this milk were a sports taste. Not sure about ories and only four
the only real choice allergies, but for most team, it would be the its jump shot, though. grams of sugar.
you had to make in of us, real cow’s milk 1959 to 1966 Boston PER CUP: 130 calories, PER TBSP:  20 calories,
the supermarket still reigns supreme. Celtics, because it’s 8g protein, 12g carbs 0g protein, 5g carbs
milk section. Now It tends to contain won eight consec- (0g fiber), 5g fat (0g fiber), 0g fat

64 April 2019 / MEN’S HEALTH

ARE YOU TRULY HAPPY INSIDE?
GET THE POWER OF 3-IN-1
Prebiotics, probiotics, and fiber* all in one delicious cereal
to help support digestive wellness.

Take the Gut Check and tell us how you feel at GetHappyInside.com

1. Launch your camera. 2. Point it at the QR code. 3. Scan and Start your Gut Check!

*Contains 4-8g total fat. See nutrition information for total fat and saturated fat content. ®, TM, © 2019 Kellogg NA Co.
 UNCLE BEN’S
READY RICE WHOLE
GRAIN BROWN RICE
TOTAL AWARDS: 6
Let’s be honest: Cau-
liflower rice isn’t that
great. It stinks up your
fridge, and, really,
who does it think it’s
fooling with the tex-
ture? Uncle Ben’s
tear-nuke-eat option
causes no stress (and
no stench!) and deliv-
ers an al dente bite.
PER CUP: 190 calories,
5g protein, 39g carbs
(3g fiber), 3g fat

ARROWHEAD
MILLS ORGANIC
STEEL CUT OATS
TOTAL AWARDS: 6
Not only do these oats
have a bit more protein
than others we ana-
lyzed, but they have
a pleasant chew that
makes them our break-
fast champion. Sorry,
Quaker Oats guy.
PER ¼ CUP: 160 calo-
ries, 6g protein, 27g
carbs (4g fiber), 3g fat

GUINNESS
DRAUGHT
TOTAL AWARDS: 4
This beer was col-
lecting trophies
long before the
craft boom. Guin-
ness stands as the APPLEGATE THE GREAT Applegate was mak- the company sea- titles in ten years,
best-tasting lower- ORGANIC UNCURED ing this dog 100 sons the meat with a you could say it’s
calorie beer you can BEEF HOT DOG percent grass-fed spicy-savory blend on a roll.
find anywhere. TOTAL AWARDS: 7 back in 2015—when of cayenne, corian- PER HOT DOG:
PER 11.2 OZ: 126 cal- Men’s Health is rec- the term wasn’t der, ginger, mace, 110 calories, 7g protein,
ories, 0g protein, 9g ommending a hot so commercial- paprika, and white 0g carbs (0g fiber),
carbs (0g fiber), 0g fat dog? First off, ized. And second, pepper. With seven 9g fat

66 April 2019 / MEN’S HEALTH

 TEAR. EAT. LIFT.
9g+ OF LEAN PROTEIN* 110 CALORIES OR LESS PER POUCH 23 DELICIOUS FLAVORS

*Not including Tuna with Rice and Beans.

See pouch for complete nutritional information.
©2019 StarKist Co. All Rights Reserved.
 BREYERS
NATURAL VANILLA
ICE CREAM
TOTAL AWARDS: 4
As of 2019, you can
now buy “ice cream”
made from coconut
milk, soy milk, and
almond milk. Yet none
can compete with this
creamy cow’s-milk-
based pick. Because
if you’re going to eat
ice cream, why settle
for a fake-sugar-laden
impostor?
PER ½ CUP: 130 calo-
ries, 2g protein, 14g
carbs (0g fiber), 7g fat

BIONATURAE
ORGANIC WHOLE
WHEAT PASTA
TOTAL AWARDS: 4
In 2012, these noo-
dles beat out a host
of healthy brands
for their “satisfying
bite.” Chickpea- and
lentil-based products
have come to market,
but we still can’t find
a dried pasta that’s as
flavorful and easy to
cook as this one.
PER 2 OZ: 210 calories,
6g protein, 43g carbs
(4g fiber), 2g fat

PHILADELPHIA
WHIPPED
CREAM CHEESE
TOTAL AWARDS: 5
The whipping halves
the calorie count, and
house brand your yellow yolk, and a the heat to medium it’s great on a turkey
grocery store car- fresher egg with supe- low. Cook, stirring sandwich, in sauteed
ried. Eggland’s Best rior flavor and nutri- with a spoon, until greens, or, fine, on a
credits a proprietary tion. Still haven’t had puffy and creamy. toasted bagel.
came along, you all-vegetarian feed one? Crack two in a PER EGG: 50 calories, PER 2 TBSP: 50 cal-
were likely beholden for producing a stron- cold pan with a knob 6g protein, 0g carbs ories, 0g protein, 2g
to whatever sad ger shell, a brighter- of butter and then turn (0g fiber), 4g fat carbs (0g fiber), 4g fat

68 April 2019 / MEN’S HEALTH

 WILD PLANET
WILD PINK SALMON
TOTAL AWARDS: 4
Before Wild Planet
was founded in 2004,
canned salmon
looked and tasted
like cat food. But
its version is meaty
and tastes close to
fresh. We’ve never
gone back to the old
brands, and neither
should you. Bonus:
Wild Planet’s sources
are sustainable.
PER 3 OZ: 90 calories,
18g protein, 0g carbs
(0g fiber), 2g fat

ORGANIC VALLEY
MONTEREY
JACK CHEESE
TOTAL AWARDS: 5
Like its milk, Organic
Valley’s cheeses have
a deep, creamy flavor
that makes them per-
fect for snacking on
with a crisp apple or
ripe pear.
PER 1 OZ: 100 calories,
7g protein, 0g carbs
(0g fiber), 9g fat

TUONG OT
SRIRACHA
HOT SAUCE
TOTAL AWARDS: 3
Intensely spicy, a tinge
garlicky, and ever-
so-slightly tangy—
the green-topped
powerhouse deserves
its place in what
now seems like every BELL & EVANS ORGANIC chickens antibiotics, in the natural juices, actually tastes like
diner, fast-casual CHICKEN (BREAST OR which, okay, plenty eliminating the chicken.
chain, and kitchen WHOLE CHICKEN) of brands have need for the chilled PER SKINLESS
pantry in America. TOTAL AWARDS: 6 stopped doing. chlorinated water BREAST: 120 calories,
PER 1 TSP: 5 calories, This Pennsylvania- But Bell & Evans that other produc- 27g protein,
0g protein, 1g carbs based company also “air chills” its ers use. This chicken 0g carbs (0g fiber),
(0g fiber), 0g fat doesn’t give its birds, which seals is good for you and 2g fat

MEN’S HEALTH / April 2019 69

 SEKTION/VEDDINGE
Kitchen
$
*
1399
Based on a 10αx10α kitchen
*

A helping hand shouldn’t cost an arm and a leg.

When mealtime heats up, you and your kitchen should work like a team. Find double the storage in
your drawers within drawers, multitask with cabinets that spring open to your touch, and let integrated
lighting help you ⇒nd the perfect ingredients.* With designs so affordable, you don’t need to hold off on
building a dream kitchen that’s made just for you.

SEKTION cabinet frames in white melamine foil. VEDDINGE doors/drawer fronts in painted ⇒nish. MAXIMERA drawers in powder-coated steel and
melamine foil. Shown with BAGGANÄS handles/knobs in brass-plated stainless steel.

*The total price includes cabinets, fronts, interior ⇒ttings, hinges, cover panels, plinths, legs, drawers, and doors. Your choice of countertops, knobs/
handles, sinks, faucets, lighting and appliances are sold separately. Tax, delivery and assembly not included. Requires assembly. See IKEA store or
IKEA-USA.com for limited warranty, country of origin and 10'x10' details. Valid in US only.
 ©Inter IKEA Systems B.V. 2019

Highest in Customer Satisfaction

with Kitchen Cabinets
Plus ⇒nancing options available with
the IKEA Projekt credit card.**
Learn more at IKEA-USA.com/kitchens

**Promotional ⇒nancing available with the IKEA Projekt credit card accounts offered by Comenity Capital Bank
which determines quali⇒cations for credit and promotion eligibility. Minimum purchase and minimum monthly
payments are required. See store associate for details. Subject to credit approval.

For J.D. Power 2018 award information, visit jdpower.com/awards

 OBERTO ORIGINAL
BEEF JERKY
TOTAL AWARDS: 3
We were recom-
mending jerky as a
go-to high-protein
snack long before
“artisanal” bou-
tique brands started
hawking Wagyu
jerky in fancy flavors.
This brand sticks
to what works: sim-
ple seasonings on
great-tasting beef.
PER 1 OZ: 80 calories,
10g protein, 8g carbs
(0g fiber), 1g fat

ILLY GROUND
COFFEE
TOTAL AWARDS: 3
Back when it wasn’t so
trendy to carry around
a cup with a mermaid
on it, people did this
crazy thing called
making their own cof-
fee at home. Illy has
routinely delivered the
best ground beans
without the need
for mocha, a shot of
vanilla, or a whip.
PER 4 OZ CUP:
3 calories

BOB’S RED MILL

ORGANIC
WHOLE GRAIN QUINOA
TOTAL AWARDS: 5
These pearls of com-
plete protein have
CALIFORNIA OLIVE and well balanced cooked pasta. all its olives in Cal- always been a favor-
RANCH EXTRA VIRGIN between buttery Recently the com- ifornia, but you ite. The Bob’s version
OLIVE OIL EVERYDAY and spicy flavors. pany started blend- wouldn’t know it comes prerinsed, so
TOTAL AWARDS: 4 And it’s equally well- ing olive oils from from the taste. you can eat faster.
A pantry staple of suited for sauteing around the world PER TBSP: 120 calories, PER ¼ CUP: 170 calo-
ours since 2012, Brussels sprouts instead of growing 0g protein, 0g carbs ries, 6g protein, 32g
this oil is smooth and drizzling over and processing (0g fiber), 14g fat carbs (5g fiber), 2g fat

72 April 2019 / MEN’S HEALTH

TH E M A N
As Jaime La
W H
nn
O W
is
O
te r,
the most im po rtan t ch ar acte r
Nikolaj Coster-Waldau
plays arguably
on th e m os t popular show
in the world. But he and millions of other Danes would like you
to know that doesn’t mean he’s
good.
Or special. So cool it.
F O TH
ME R BY
Alex Pappademas
GA

ON
ES
M
E

N
H

’S T
H E A L

PHOTO GRAPHS BY

Art Streiber
74 April 2019 / ME N’ S HE
AL TH
N’T BEKING
 N
“Oh, perfect. That would be amazing,” Coster-
Waldau says. The guy goes off to make the coffee, which,
when it arrives, is surprisingly drinkable despite
existing in the uncanny valley between beverage and
broth. You have to be careful when someone asks if you
want mushrooms, Coster-Waldau points out. I ask
Jaime Lannister if he’s heard about people microdos-
ing psychedelics, and he has not. But the actor recently
visited a retail-cannabis storefront for the first time
and couldn’t believe it: “It’s like you are walking into
an Apple store, and they just sell weed,” he says. “It
used to be you’d do it in a parking lot, right?”
It’s not that Coster-Waldau particularly wants to
talk about the ins and outs of buying drugs in ’90s
Denmark. We’re just at a kind of impasse already.
My job is to ask him questions about the final six epi-
sodes of Game of Thrones, which premiere on HBO
NIKOLAJ COSTER-WALDAU spent in April, and one of the rules that come with his job
is that he can tell me virtually nothing. He knows
about a decade of his life playing

styling assistant: Lace Richards, production: Barbie Duarte/MJ68

how it ends. He thinks the way it ends is fantastic.
Jaime Lannister, easily one of the His last day on the Thrones set was a beautiful and
emotional one. “I think I got some dust in my eye,”
20 or 30 most central characters he says. When I ask him how the after-party was, all

on the sprawling, money-minting he’ll give up is that there were a few of them, there
were a lot of people there, and they were—he takes
HBO fantasy series Game of time to choose this word carefully, as if the wrong one

Thrones, and as of this past June, would give something away—“fun.”

Maybe the emotional component of this thing
that is no longer his job. You’d being over hasn’t hit him yet. Maybe it never will; he

assume somebody in that position doesn’t know. “Maybe this fall, when we’re not going
back to Belfast,” he says, “that’s when you go, Oh, I
would have some thoughts about

Guillaume using Revive/Forward Artists, tailoring: Yelena Tavkina,

guess it really is over.”

what it means to go through that

The feeling he has is pride, he says, “that [showrun-
ners] D.B. Weiss and David Benioff stuck to their guns
experience and have it end, and he and said, ‘This is the story we wanna tell; we’re not
gonna extend this’—because I’m sure HBO would have
does, in his own pragmatic, even- loved another couple years of this show. There’s an audi-
keeled, presumably classically ence for it, for sure. But I think everyone who watches
the show will appreciate that it’s finished—that it was
Danish way. But right now he needs one story from episode 1 to episode 83, and we told it.”
to make a decision about whether I ask Coster-Waldau if he’s ever thought, Ehh—I
could have hung in for a few more years. He’s not sure.
to accept the mushroom coffee. “The last season was so intense,” he says.
One battle scene—Internet rumor, for what it’s worth
Styling: Ted Stafford, set design: Anthony Altomare, grooming: Barbara

as regards a production as black-site uptight as Thrones

“Is it going to get me high?” he asks.
“No,” says the dude doing the coffee-proffering, sort of apologet-
ically. He’s management tier at a competitive ax-throwing range in
North Hollywood; Coster-Waldau and I have just thrown hammer-
sized single-blade axes at a wooden target for about as long as it’s
possible to do that for fun. There’s a pending liquor-license applica-
tion on the door—tell your god to ready for blood—but at the moment
all Coster-Waldau wants is a hot drink, and all they have is an
adaptogen-rich brew of ground-up Cordyceps mushrooms in water.
“It’s wild,” the dude says. “Caffeine usually has, like, a spike”—
with his arm, he mimes energy going through the roof—“but this
just feels like I’m in a good mood.”
has been, says it’s the battle for Winterfell—took
around 50 cold, wet nights to shoot at three different locations.
“It was brutal,” Coster-Waldau says, “but because it was the
last season, it was like, Yes, we can do this.”
Coster-Waldau is 48 years old. His New Balances are Sein-
feld white, and there’s a fair amount of gray in his sandy blond
hair. He’d kicked around American movies for a while by the
time Game of Thrones happened, playing war-film snipers and
cheating husbands and the kind of guy who pulls a gun on Tom
Cruise in a Tom Cruise movie. Even in smaller parts, he looked
like a leading man who’d gotten lost on his way to something
else, because in a sense that’s what he was. His very first film, the
1994 Danish thriller Nightwatch, in which he played a morgue

76 April 2019 / MEN’S HEALTH

 Previous spread:
T-shirt by Velva Sheen;
Heritage Series
watch by Movado;
chain necklace by
John Varvatos.
security guard who discovers he’s the prime suspect This page: Polo shirt makes you the kind of person who will tell you
in a serial-killer case, was a blockbuster that made by Gap; sweatpants politely that he has to get up and pee, and if you
by Todd Snyder +
him a pretty big deal in Denmark, and he dropped out Champion; don’t hear him say it because of ax-throwing back-
of the English theater school he’d enrolled in, figur- watch by Timex. ground noise and proceed to your next question,
ing he was off and running already. he’ll sit there for a full minute and answer your
“I had this naive belief that if you’re the lead in a entire question before getting up and saying, more
movie that’s that successful, the phone’s gonna be ringing off the firmly, “I’m dying to pee,” and only then will he go off to pee.
hook, and nothing really happened,” he says. “I was like, Shit. He is also very polite, but firm, when pestered further about
“But I did learn one thing, about being known for one part—and what the last season might have in store for Jaime.
it’s gonna be interesting to see how the younger actors on Thrones “I can’t tell you anything about that,” he says, smiling. Then,
are gonna navigate this—because for a good five, ten years in Den- after a beat: “He grows out his arm. His arm grows back.”
mark, every time I did anything, I was the guy from Nightwatch. Finally, I say. I think fans have been waiting for that moment.
As a young actor, it drove me crazy—like, Don’t put me in this box. “Yes. It grows back,” he says, “but not in the way you think.”
I’m not the Nightwatchman. And of course that’s gonna happen Is it, like, a tentacle?
with Game of Thrones. This whole concept of fame, it’s a com- “It’s a claw,” he says. “It comes out as a claw. No—it’s a paw.”
pletely empty shell made up of other outside forces. It has nothing Chances are this isn’t true. But a reckoning for Jaime Lannis-
to do with you. It will never have anything to do with you. You will ter does feel inevitable. When we first see Jaime at the beginning
just be there to fill some narrative that has nothing to do with you, of the series’s run, he’s breaking janteloven all over the place by
and unless you keep that in mind, it’s going to drive you crazy.” believing he’s extremely special and good at many things; by
This is probably as good a time as any to note that in 1999, the end of the show’s penultimate season, he appears to finally
Coster-Waldau starred in Misery Harbour, an adaptation of early be reconsidering his life-derailing allegiance to Lena Headey’s
semiautobiographical stories by the turn-of-the-19th-century Cersei, who’s both his sister and the mother of his children, all of
Danish-Norwegian novelist Aksel Sandemose, whose legacy in whom have died violently as a direct or indirect result of Cersei’s
Danish culture is the concept of janteloven. This ten-point code pursuit of the Iron Throne. He’s suffered mightily because of her,
of ethics stresses community over individualism and is suppos- and inflicted mighty suffering on her orders. A Lannister always
edly the reason the Danes are (again, supposedly) the happiest pays his debts; what that’s going to look like remains to be seen.
people in Europe despite being among the most-taxed people this Jaime and Cersei’s affair—if that’s the right word, since we
side of Sweden. The first rule of janteloven is You’re not to think find out at one point that she’s the only woman he’s ever been
you’re anything special. The seventh rule is You’re not to think with—is one of the most gallopingly crazy TV relationships of
you’re good at anything. That’s somewhere in Coster-Waldau’s all time, but Headey and Coster-Waldau have always imbued it
psychological makeup, he presumes, along with whatever else with improbable tenderness. Coster-Waldau says it’s because
you get programmed with when you grow up in an extremely well- he’s never seen Jaime’s longing for Cersei as unusual except in
organized society peopled by former Vikings. This apparently its taboo particulars.

MEN’S HEALTH / April 2019 77

 Knit polo by Club
Monaco; sweatpants
by Michael Kors.
“I think most people have at least been attracted to becoming our best selves; the only Jaime Lannis-
someone you shouldn’t be,” he says. “Not your sister, ter quote anyone remembers is “There are no men
but someone you really shouldn’t fall in love with. Like your best like me—only me,” which is read by some as Wolverine-ishly
friend’s girlfriend. It’s one of the few true love stories in Game of badass but has always struck me as profoundly lonely. The most
Thrones—Jaime is dedicated to this woman.” adult thing about Game of Thrones isn’t how bloody or raunchy
The easiest Lannister to root for is Peter Dinklage’s Tyrion, the show is; it’s the fact that it’s a heroic-fantasy series whose
who overcomes a lifetime of internalized cruelties, summons heroes sometimes can do nothing but find an honorable way to
undiscovered reserves of courage under pressure, and gets to play the lousy cards they’re dealt.
swish all the show’s best lines around his mouth like swigs of fine “He has not had a lot of success and joy in his life,” Coster-
Dornish red. The galaxy-brain Lannister to root for is Cersei, Waldau says of Jaime. “Everything he touches breaks.”
the only person on Game of Thrones who actually seems qual- He liked the moment, a few seasons back, when Jaime finds
ified to run a kingdom. But Coster-Waldau’s Jaime is the most the courage to tell his daughter that he’s her father. A real
relatable Lannister, the Lannister who keeps doubling down on pitch for him to hit, as an actor. Of course, seconds later she
previous bad decisions, the Lannister who’s just trying to find a dies, poisoned by one of Cersei’s enemies, because forget it,
way through a life of indignity, the Lannister who lives with the Jaime, it’s Westeros. If there’s one thing that’s been frustrat-
understanding that everything he’s believed in has failed him. ing about the latest seasons of Thrones, it’s that the pressure
They put Tyrion quotes on T-shirts because it’s fun to imagine to wrap up dozens of plotlines in impactful and Reddit-

78 April 2019 / MEN’S HEALTH

 Rapid
Fire
FAVORITE EXERCISE?
“Skiing.”
WH E N C O STE R-WALDAU first went in to read
LEAST FAVORITE? for Thrones, Benioff and Weiss couldn’t tell him
“Running on a tread- everything about what they had in mind for Jaime,
mill—seems so stupid!”
particularly once the show caught up with the nar-
SPIRIT ANIMAL? rative in the fantasy novels it’s based on. But they
“Lion.” told him enough—right up through Jaime losing
his hand, and by extension his identity as a swag-
LAST TIME YOU CRIED? gering swordsman, in an encounter with a gang of
“Oh, it was something
to do with my daugh-
backwoods thugs. Coster-Waldau wasn’t put off by
ters. It happens more the idea of playing a character who closes out the
and more the older I series pilot by pushing a child out a window after
get. You appreciate he catches Jaime and Cersei in flagrante. He liked
the fragility of life more.
Jaime’s line in that moment: “The things I do for
Because we do share
this experience. It’s love.” How the line and the action cut against each
quite a trip we’re on. “ other. He loves that contradiction. It’s what fasci-
nates him about people.
THRONES CHARACTER “It’s very rare that you meet someone who com-
YOU’D LIKE TO PLAY?
“Hodor—great death!
pletely, 100 percent walks the walk and talks the
Hodor. Hold the door!” talk. Everyone has opinions about everything, but
very few can actually live up to the ideals that they
YOUR REACTION bestow on others. Right now we’re going through a
TO THE ENDING? time when people fuck [up]—and I’m not talking
“It was surprising and
not surprising—in a about criminal behavior, just people being idiots.
good way!” There’s no forgiveness. You crossed the line, buddy.
“We’ve had this, also, at home. There’s a song that
BEST MEMORY FROM is from 1800-something. It’s a beautiful song. I’m
THE FINAL SEASON?
“I don’t have any mem-
translating—‘The Danish Song Is a Young Blond
ories. It’s true! You Girl.’ And suddenly someone was offended because
know the Men in Black she was not young and she was not blond. You kind
thing that erases your of go, What? For me, anyway, maybe it’s because I’m
memory? It exists.
old and I’m insensitive, but I also think that there is
And HBO has it!”
a point where you have to—being offended is also a
choice. You can choose not to be offended. Because if
we don’t, if we constantly have to censor each other
and ourselves, then that’s a scary future.”
This conversational turn is probably best understood as a cau-
tionary tale about mushroom coffee. I change the subject. We talk
a little more about the job, about what he wants to do next. He’s not
overly concerned about finding some decisive, gestural way to put
Jaime behind him, some transformative look-what-else-I-can-do
kind of part. For what it’s worth, if you care to see Coster-Waldau
do a totally credible 180, away from all things dragon-adjacent,
satisfying fashion hasn’t always left the characters much room you can see that happen in 2017’s Shot Caller, where he’s a
to be introspective about seemingly major life transitions like white-collar bro who goes to prison after a DUI crash and rises
all of their children dying. through the ranks of a fearsome white-supremacist gang.
“I’ve driven the writers crazy for exactly that reason,” But that’s not the point. You are not to think you are any-
Coster-Waldau says with a smile. “It’s the nature of the show that thing special. Coster-Waldau has already shot one film since
the story lines jump around, but couldn’t [Jaime and Cersei] dis- Thrones wrapped, and as soon as he’s done here, he’ll take a car
cuss the fact that their last remaining child is dead, and now Cer- to the airport and fly to Denmark to shoot another one. He’s
sei’s going to be queen? So much happens in between—you have to not working this hard because he wants to put Jaime Lannis-
connect these dots as an actor and sometimes make pretty mas- ter behind him. He’s working this hard so that he can take the
sive leaps. There’s a lot of bridges you have to build in your mind. summer off for the first time in a long time and spend it with
“By this time,” he says, “both David and D. B. have learned that his wife and his two daughters, who’ve grown up alarmingly
actors can be emotional. But of course, my focus is just [on Jaime]. fast while he’s been off fighting for the throne of a fictional
Their focus is on a hundred other actors. I have the luxury of kingdom. The work is a thing you do for love. There is nothing
focusing on this. I want them to sit for days and talk about this. unusual about it, as he sees things.
“What do you mean,” he says in a spoiled, extremely un-
janteloven, preening-actor-guy voice, “you don’t have time to talk ALEX PAPPADEMAS is based in Los Angeles and has written about pop
to me about Jaime? He’s the most important thing in the world.” culture for The New York Times Magazine, Esquire, GQ, and Grantland.

MEN’S HEALTH / April 2019 79

 The Men’s Health

PLAN
for

SMARTER
EATING
We’ve digested the past
25 years of nutrition
knowledge, talked to the
smartest experts
about the latest science,
and cooked up some
amazing meals—all to
provide you with a
strategy for peak health,
no dieting needed.

BY
PAUL KITA / PHOTOGRAPHS BY
MIKE GARTEN / FOOD ST YLING BY
CHRISTINE ALBANO
 I
THE FOOD ISSUE

T’S NO COINCIDENCE that the word diet contains the

word die. That’s what you want to do—keel over—
after your third week on whichever highly restrictive
diet is popular right now. (At least you will wear
slightly better-fitting pants at your funeral, you
rationalize.) In a 2018 survey by the International
Food Information Council Foundation, 36 percent of
Americans ages 18 to 34 said they followed a “specific
eating pattern” (read: diet) in the past year, with inter-
mittent fasting, paleo, and gluten-free leading the
pack. “One of the main ques-
tions I get from clients now is
‘Which diet is best for me?’ says START HERE:
Men’s Health nutrition advisor Chris Mohr, COUNT THE CALORIES
Ph.D., R.D. “It used to be ‘Is going on a diet a THAT MATTER
good idea?’ ” You’d think that with the in- IT’S MORE complicated than
creased exposure of fad diets, at least one calories in versus calories out.
would stick. But in 2017, Australian re- You should be thinking about
searchers reviewed 25 weight-loss programs total calories, yes, but also about
and found that they “frequently fail to pro- the quality and makeup of those
calories. Think about which
duce modest but clinically meaningful foods give you the most nutrient-
weight loss, with high rates of attrition.” rich bang for your calorie buck.
Translation: Diets often backfire after a few Drink 100 calories’ worth of
months. Look, the best diet isn’t sexy. It soda and you miss the nutrients
doesn’t have celebrity endorsements. There’s of 100 calories from a banana.
no marketing strategy. The best diet is one Eat foods that have the most
protein and fiber for the fewest
that is based on the inclusion of healthful calories and added sugars.
foods—not the exclusion of food groups—and
will last you far longer than whatever Atkins,
Zone, Whole30, paleo, Mesozoic, Bulletproof, or keto plan is hot.
You need a plan that’s going to suit you for life. Here’s that plan.

DAILY
Though it can depend on how much you
weigh and how often you work out,
THE BREAKDOWN 2,600 calories is a good target to hit
every day, our experts say.*

THE GENERAL BREAKDOWN OF THOSE CALORIES:

FAT C A R B O H Y D R AT E S

30%
FISH,
40%
E S P E C I A L LY
NUTS, THOSE HIGH
E TC. IN FIBER
PROTEIN

30%
ANIMAL-
A N D PLANT-
BASED

*Don’t go crazy counting. This is a guide, not a rule.

MEN’S HEALTH / April 2019 81

 1 PROTEIN PARAMOUNT
RU LE

IS

Why It’s Important:

PROTEIN IS THE ESSENTIAL NUTRIENT FOR HELPING WHAT MAKES
YOU BUILD THE BODY YOU WANT. A PERFECT PROTEIN
Protein helps decrease hunger, builds and maintains muscle, POWDER?
fortifies your bones, improves brain function, aids your
IT’S MINIMALLY SWEETENED.
immune system, and can even pick up the kids from soccer Look for five grams of sugar or less per
practice if you’re strapped for time. serving, and avoid fake sugars.
IT’S MADE FROM WHEY ISOLATES.
They’re high-quality proteins that have
How Much to Eat: amino acids you need, particularly leucine.

CONSUME 1.2 TO 1.6 GRAMS OF PROTEIN FOR EVERY IT HAS 150 OR FEWER CALORIES
FOR EVERY 25 GRAMS OF PROTEIN.
KILOGRAM OF YOUR TARGET BODYWEIGHT. Otherwise it’s a high-calorie milkshake.
A 180-pound guy who wants to maintain his current weight IT’S “NSF CERTIFIED FOR
would need 100 to 130 grams, or six palm-sized portions of SPORT” OR “INFORMED-
CHOICE CERTIFIED.”
protein-rich foods, every day. That’s about 30 grams at each So it contains what it says it contains.
meal and an additional 10 to 20 grams in two snacks. Chicken
breast is great, but so are chicken thighs, tofu, salmon, pork, Our top picks:
shellfish, whitefish, lamb, tempeh, and much more. 1. 2. 3.

POWER
1 Question, 1 Answer
THE OF PROPORTIONS
Q: What’s the
best high-protein 1. NOW Sports Dutch Chocolate Whey Protein
Isolate 2. Ready Nutrition Clean Protein Pow-
snack? Last year, the International Food Information der, Vanilla 3. Bodylogix Natural Whey Protein
Council Foundation assessed how Americans were Powder, Decadent Chocolate
A: A shake. Not adopting dietary recommendations issued in 2011.
only do most “high-
protein” bars, cook- H OW T H E U S DA T E L L S YO U T O F I L L YO U R P L AT E :
ies, and (eye roll)

20% 30% 30% 20%

6
peanut-butter cups + DA I RY

on the market fall far

short of the protein FRUITS V E G E TA B L E S GRAINS PROTEIN
you need, but they’re
also often highly
processed. Some
bars with minimal
ingredients are fine
to eat on occasion,
especially when
W H AT P E O P L E A R E AC T UA L LY E AT I N G :
+48% GRAMS OF PROTEIN
IN ONE
12% 29% 21% 38%
INCLUDE
paired with produce, DA I RY

WHOLE LARGE EGG.

OFTEN
but you’d be better off
with protein powder
YOU’RE EATING
FRUITS V E G E TA B L E S GRAINS PROTEIN
made into a shake.
—BRIAN ST. PIERRE, R.D.,
MH nutrition advisor THEM WHOLE, RIGHT?

82 April 2019 / MEN’S HEALTH

 THE FOOD ISSUE

Seven
Unsung
Protein
Sources
American men eat a lot of chicken
and beef. A lot. That’s fine, but
sticking to the tried and true may
cause you to miss out on key nutri-
ents from other sources—not to
mention worlds of flavor.

1. Duck Breast
21 grams in 3 ounces
Skinless duck breast is about as lean as
chicken breast, and a portion still comes
in at under 200 calories. The taste is
deeply hearty, savory, and luscious.

2. Chickpeas
15 grams in 1 cup
They form the base of hum-

soups, chilis, salads, and curries. Bonus:

Chickpeas are loaded with gut-filling
fiber. One cup has a whopping 13 grams.

3. Scallops
17 grams in 3 ounces
Plump, meaty, and satisfy-

over medium-high heat on each side till

crispy and then plunked into butternut-
squash soup or atop risotto.

appetizer, they’re delicious thrown

into salads, noodle dishes, and stir-fry.
They’re a solid source of fiber, too.

5. Fresh Mozzarella
18 grams in 3 ounces
This cheese tends to have

gives you permission to stack a caprese

salad (but maybe not eat an entire ball).

6. Mussels
18 grams in 3 ounces
Dump a bag of scrubbed
GET mussels into a pot with some beer and
COOKING butter. Simmer until they open. Serve
with a hunk of crusty bread for dipping.
SEARED 1. Salt and pepper a duck breast lightly and put it skin side
7. Tempeh
Prop styling: Kaitlyn DuRoss Walker

down in a cold cast-iron skillet. 2. Turn the heat to medium. The gradual
DUCK increase in temperature will melt the fat. Cook it, undisturbed, until the 17 grams in ½ cup
BREAST skin crisps, 8 to 10 minutes. 3. Flip it, cook until seared, about 3 minutes
You’ll usually find this fer-
mented soybean product (tastes savory,
more, and then slide into a 350°F oven until a thermometer inserted into not stinky) in the fridge section of a
the thickest part registers 125°F for medium rare. Serve with roasted good grocery. Crumble and stir-fry it.
Brussels sprouts and mashed sweet potatoes. Feeds 1

MEN’S HEALTH / April 2019 83

 2 FUEL UP GOOD FATS
RU LE

ON

Why They’re Important:

THE RIGHT FATS MAY ACTUALLY HELP YOUR HEART. THREE COOKING
But wait, 15 years ago your friends were making Lipitor jokes OILS YOU’RE NOT
when you went out for wing night. Well, turns out scientists USING ENOUGH
unfairly blamed fat as the cause of heart disease. New research
shows that heart trouble may be caused by issues ranging You probably already use olive oil, butter,
and a neutral oil like canola. Add these
from your parents’ DNA to hypertension and inflammation. three to your cooking rotation. Each
What’s more, good fats may in fact help your heart, in addition offers a different range of nutrients.
to preventing cancer and assisting in nutrient absorption.
DUCK FAT

How Much to Eat:

AIM FOR SIX THUMB-SIZED PORTIONS DAILY. fatworksfoods.com;
epicprovisions.com
And get your fats from high-quality proteins (oily fish, grass-
fed beef). Use whole fats (butter, olive oil) when cooking instead 2. ROASTED-WALNUT OIL
of fats engineered in a lab (margarine). In general, for overall Start with a half cup of this oil
health, eat a broad mix of fat sources: monounsaturated and add the juice from half
(like almonds, olive oil, avocados), polyunsaturated (flax/chia, a lemon, a spoonful of Dijon,
and salt and pepper: instant
walnuts, fish), and saturated (dark chocolate, butter). better-than-the-bottle dressing.
BUY IT: latourangelle.com

FAT
3. GHEE
HOW FUNCTIONS It’s a clarified butter, so the

100
manufacturers removed the
milk solids. That leads to a
more robust butter flavor.
Science has identified three types of fat BUY IT: thrivemarket.com
cells: beige (neutral), white (not great for
you), and brown (pretty great for you). A

TO healthful diet promotes brown-fat “activity.”

120
Brown Fat
1 Question, 1 Answer

When beige-fat activity “browns,” Q: What the heck are

THE NUMBER OF CALORIES
IN ONE TABLESPOON OF
COOKING FAT. BUTTER,
CANOLA OIL, BACON FAT,
OLIVE OIL, SESAME OIL—
DOESN’T MATTER WHICH.
fat burning increases, inflammation
decreases, and the risk of
metabolic disorders decreases.
Beige Fat
When beige-fat activity “whitens,”
fat burning decreases, inflammation
increases, and the risk of
metabolic disorders increases.
White Fat
EPA/DHA fatty acids?
A: EPA and DHA are the
heart-healthy omega-3’s 
that your body uses most
easily. You’ll find them in
high amounts in seafood,
particularly cold-water fish
(because they carry more fat
for insulation). Fish is always
the best direct source of EPA/
DHA. So while we’re at it, eat
fish at least twice a week.
—CHRIS MOHR, PH.D., R.D.

84 April 2019 / MEN’S HEALTH

 THE FOOD ISSUE

GET
COOKING

DIY SALMON
SUSHI ROLLS
People think you need all
sorts of equipment to roll sushi
at home: a rice cooker, a pad-
dle, rolling mats. Not true. With
this approach, you don’t even
have to roll and slice. Just fill
and fold like you would a taco.
W HAT YO U ’LL N E E D :
2 Tbsp rice ½ English
vinegar cucumber,
¼ tsp sugar peeled,
seeded, and
1½ cups sushi thinly sliced
rice, rinsed lengthwise
well
1 avocado,
2 skinless thinly sliced
center-cut
salmon fillets Sesame
(about ¾ lb) seeds, for
garnish
5 sheets nori,
quartered Soy sauce
and wasabi,
for serving

1. In a small bowl, mix the vinegar and

sugar until dissolved. Set aside.
2. In a large pan, add the rice and 2 cups
of water. Bring to a boil, adjust the heat to
low, and cover. Cook until tender, 15 to 20
minutes. Remove the pan from the heat
and, using a wooden spoon, fold in the
vinegar mixture. Continue to stir the rice
until sticky. Transfer to a large bowl and
cover with a kitchen towel.
3. Transfer the salmon to a cutting board
and slice into strips about the size of the
nori squares. To serve, take a nori square
and add a spoonful of sticky rice. Top
with a salmon slice, cucumber, avocado,
and sesame seeds. Serve with soy sauce
and wasabi. Feeds 5

Four Unsung Nuts and Seeds for Men

Salmon gets all the credit for being high in heart-healthy fats. But the type of fat (monounsaturated) found
in these small but mighty nutritional powerhouses has similar benefits.

1. Brazil Nuts 2. Hemp Seeds 3. Pumpkin Seeds 4. Macadamia Nuts

These are the big guys in your
nut mix. Twelve of them have
nine grams of protein, five
grams of fiber, and a payload
of healthy fats.
They’re also known as hemp
“hearts,” and they carry a
faintly roasted flavor. Try
them scattered atop a soup
or salad for some crunch.
They’re not just for Halloween.
They’re great roasted and
lightly seasoned with smoked
paprika for a simple snack.
High in fiber, too.
These stout bulbs taste
terrific roasted, crushed,
and stirred into oatmeal or
yogurt loaded with fruit.

MEN’S HEALTH / April 2019 85

 3 RETHINK
CARBOHYDRATES
RU LE

YOUR

Why They’re Important:

CARBOHYDRATES AREN’T EVIL; THEY’RE ESSENTIAL.
Consuming the right amount of the right kind of carbs can
help improve your athletic performance, exercise recovery, BUY THESE, EAT
and body composition (meaning you look goooood). Also MORE VEGETABLES
know that there’s nothing magical about carbs (or insulin)
Supermarkets charge a premium for
that causes excess fat gain or hunger. prepped produce. These tools make meal
prep easy. For a full list of our kitchen
awards, head to MensHealth.com.

How Much to Eat: 1. OXO STEEL

TRY FOR SIX TO EIGHT CUPPED HANDFULS CHEF’S
MANDOLINE 2.0
OF QUALITY CARBS EVERY DAY. The sharpest of chef’s
What are “quality” carbs? Fruits, legumes, whole grains, knives can’t match its
potatoes, and sweet potatoes. Basically anything vegetal paper-thin slices. This
model also features
you can pull out of the ground or pluck from a tree. blade inserts for julienne and waffle-cut
(sweet-potato fries!). BUY: $100, oxo.com

CARBOHYDRATE
2. NORDIC
WARE
THE FA M I LY T R E E ALUMINUM
SHEET TRAYS
Diets that exclude carbohydrates on a blanket basis are tricky things, Roasting a mess
because the “carb” label includes so many foods and nutrients. of vegetables is a great way to eat them all
week. These durable trays withstand high
oven temps, and the lipped sides help con-
C A R B O H Y D R AT E S
tain the load. BUY: $20, nordicware.com
They provide your body (and brain) with
glucose, a vital source of energy.
3. PADERNO
FIBER S TA R C H S U GA R WORLD
The roughage that It’s how plants store glucose. There are many types, CUISINE
keeps you regular. Potatoes are high in starch. and not all are bad. 3-BLADE
SPIRALIZER
If you eat the
majority of your
zucchini, beets, and other root vegetables
INSOLUBLE FIBER GLUCOSE
G E N E R A L LY G O O D

in spiral form, this is the best hand-crank

It won’t dissolve in water. Insulin shuttles it to your
tool we tested. BUY: $24, amazon.com
Wheat bran has it. cells for fuel. Honey has it.
F O R YO U

SOLUBLE FIBER L AC T O S E FRUCTOSE 1 Question, 1 Answer

It attracts water, slowing You’ll find it naturally in In fruit, it’s paired with
the absorption of sugar. milk-based products. fiber and antioxidants. Q: The sugar in fruit is
bad for me too, right?
A: No, don’t stop eating fruit.
G E N E R A L LY N O T
G R E AT F O R YO U

You’d have to eat four apples in

A D D E D S U GA R
It’s usually excess
empty calories.
SUCROSE
It’s glucose plus fructose.
Table sugar is sucrose.
order to ingest roughly the same
amount of sugar as in one large
Coke. Plus, fruit has vitamins,
minerals, and fiber.
—MIKE ROUSSELL, PH.D., MH advisor

86 April 2019 / MEN’S HEALTH

 THE FOOD ISSUE

HEY,
WHAT ABOUT
SODIUM?

IF YOU’RE counting milligrams of

sodium, you’re going to go nuts.
Salt is essential. Your body can’t
make it, and your cells need it to
function. But even though the
average American blows past
limits set by the AHA and WHO,
consuming more than 3,400
milligrams of sodium a day,
some experts say that’s not a
problem for healthy men. Limit
your consumption of packaged
and prepared foods (high sources
of sodium) and you’ll be fine.

Pack in
More
Produce
Research shows you should
eat six to ten servings of fruits
and vegetables a day to help
fight disease and maintain a
healthy weight. Your strategy:
Spread out the produce
over the course of the day.

Breakfast:
Bowl of Greek yogurt topped
with ½ cup blueberries and
1 sliced banana (2 servings)

Midmorning
Snack:
1 pear, 1 apple, or
2 clementines (1 serving)

Lunch:
Salad with ½ cup cherry toma-
toes and ¼ cup cubed roasted
sweet potatoes (3 servings)

Midafternoon
Snack:
Handful of nuts or seeds
and 2 large carrots (2 servings)
GET
COOKING Dinner:
Protein plus ½ cup cooked
TEX-MEX 1. In a medium pot, cook 1 cup of tricolor quinoa according to quinoa, farro, or brown rice with
package instructions in chicken stock , plus 1 smashed, peeled gar- a double portion of sauteed
QUINOA lic clove and 1 bay leaf. 2. Meanwhile, cook 1 pound of chorizo in a greens (2 servings)
BOWL pan over medium heat in 1 tsp of oil until well browned, about 10 minutes.
3. Transfer the quinoa to serving bowls and top with the chorizo and any
of the following: drained and rinsed black beans, cubed avocado, a PAUL KITA is the food and nutrition
lime wedge, crumbled queso fresco, thinly sliced radishes, fresh editor of Men’s Health and the author
cilantro leaves, hot sauce. Feeds 4  of the cookbook A Man, A Pan, A Plan.

MEN’S HEALTH / April 2019 87

Insi d e
the

88 April 2019 / MEN’S HEALTH

B
FA ST -C AS UA L CH AI NS OF FE RI NG FR ES HE R
FA RE AR E BA TT LIN G OL D- GU AR D FA ST -FO OD
TITAN S FO R BU RG ER SU PR EM AC Y. BU T WH AT
DO ES TH E SH OW DO WN ME AN FO R TH E TA ST E
BU DS (A ND WA IST LIN ES ) OF AM ER IC AN
BU RG ER LO VE RS ? G EO RG E M OT Z  DI GS IN .
PH OT OG RA PH S BY

ANDR EW HE THERINGTON

Burg er
rs!
The Apple Pan is a classic
lunch counter on the west side of L.A., serving
hot, fresh-beef burgers wrapped in wax paper
and slapped on the counter with zero pretense. I
was 25 when I first visited, in 1993, and until that
point in my life, my burger experiences had been
limited to forgettable fast-food offerings from the
drive-through lanes of McDonald’s, Burger King,
and Wendy’s. But the Apple Pan’s juicy beef patty
topped with hickory sauce, Tillamook cheddar,
sliced pickles, creamy mayo, and a fat hunk of cold
iceberg shifted my burger palate completely.
That burger was so good that, after I
ate it, I was offended that the big chains
seemed to make a mockery of everything
a great burger could be. (My indignation
eventually led to a career writing books
about burgers and making a documen-
tary about them, which of course required
me to eat lots and lots of burgers, so—not
to brag—I’m kind of an expert.)
Smashburger, a restaurant chain
that opened its first location in 2007,
offers a throwback to that counter-style
diner burger. The company borrows the
technique of taking a ball of hand-shaped
fresh meat with a high fat content—75
percent meat, 25 percent fat (by compari-
son, fast-food burgers tend to be 90/10)—
and “smashing” it into a patty on a
sizzling-hot griddle. This process creates
a deeply caramelized, almost crunchy
exterior, while the interior remains a
pleasing pink (heresy for fast-food-chain
patties), if that’s your preference.
What’s new are the plush booths, the
open floor plan, and a menu stocked with
ingredients you’d expect to find at a fancy
restaurant. You can top your burger with
avocado, spinach, cremini mushrooms,
and truffle mayo. Beyond that, you’ll find
turkey burgers, black-bean burgers, and
salads that are actually worth ordering.
Yes, you can have fried onion rings with
your burger, but you can also swap in sweet-
potato fries, a side salad, or even crispy
Brussels sprouts. Many locations sell local
craft beer. A typical McDonald’s this is not.
Tom Ryan, a former McDonald’s direc-
tor and the CEO and founder of Smash-
burger, now owns 348 of these restaurants
across the globe, and he isn’t the only guy
placing bets on the rising tide of diners
who demand more from their burgers.
Shake Shack, Five Guys, BurgerFi, the
Habit Burger Grill, Zinburger, Elevation
Burger, Freddy’s, and Bareburger are just
a few of the so-called better-burger chains
vying to become the Chipotle of burgers.
When he started his company, Ryan says,
in order to stand out, Smashburger had to
unlock nostalgia for the precommoditized
burger. “One way to do that was to separate
ourselves from burgers’ bad past.”
Taking a bite out of Smashburger’s sig-
nature Classic Smash—the char from the
griddle, the quick crispness of the pickles,
the pillowy softness of the egg bun—
brings me right back to burgers’ good
past. It’s virtually nothing like a Quarter
Pounder or a Whopper and almost entirely
like the kind I devoured at the Apple Pan.
The difference between bad and good,
between the types of burgers you settle for
and the types you deserve, is what’s fuel-
ing the rise of the better-burger upstarts
seeking to topple the Golden Arches and
unseat the King. It’s a beef war, folks, and
with American men eating more burgers
outside the home than any other food, the
victors will have an effect on everything
from your wallet and your waistline to
what you think of when you say four magic
words: “Who wants a burger?”
THE BIRTH OF THE
BETTER-BURGER CHAIN
THE AVERAGE American eats 52.9
pounds of beef a year (the equivalent of
211.6 quarter-pound burgers), and for
most of the past century, the majority of

FAST-CASUAL BURGER CHAINS: A FIELD GUIDE

Meet the new meat purveyors. By Paul Kita

FIVE GUYS SMASHBURGER THE HABIT SHAKE SHACK BURGERFI ZINBURGER

The “old guy” on the Boundary-pushing BURGER GRILL Old-school burger- No-bull burgers, fries, Sports bar meets burger
scene. Just burgers burgers meet salads Burgers, sandwiches, and-malt shop with a and shakes—and they grill meets family
and fries (no salads) worth ordering. and salads with a high-end backbone. serve no-antibiotic dining meets wine bar
served straight up. LOCATIONS: 348 (ma- chiiiiiill California vibe. LOCATIONS: 200+ (AZ, meat to boot! meets giant pictures of
LOCATIONS: Nearly jority of U. S. states) LOCATIONS: 250 (CA CA, CO, FL, MI, NJ, LOCATIONS: 100+ (CO, cows on walls. Whew.
1,600 (most U.S. states) MUST-ORDER: Bacon mainly, but ID, NJ, PA, NY, PA, TX, others) CT, FL, IL, MA, NY, LOCATIONS: 16 (East-
MUST-ORDER: A cheese- Avocado Club burger and others, too) MUST-ORDER: Shack OH, others) ern Seaboard, largely)
burger with all the with a side of crispy MUST-ORDER: Porta- Burger Twin Angus MUST-ORDER: VegeFi MUST-ORDER: Blanco
free vegetable top- Brussels sprouts. bella Charburger. patties. A classic Burger, a veggie burger Burger. Because
pings you want. AVOID: BBQ Ranch It has caramelized burger done right. built with quinoa. guacamole.
AVOID: Bacon Cheese Salad. The greens onions and garlic aioli. AVOID: Shack Attack. AVOID: Cry & Fry. Fun AVOID: Tater tots.
Dog. Yes, you could put come laden with onion AVOID: The sundaes. Down one of these name, but you don’t They come covered
vegetables on this too, rings, ranch, and Think 800 calories and large milkshakes and need both onion rings in cheese sauce and
but you won’t. barbecue sauce. 80+ grams of sugar. take in 1,170 calories. and fries, do you? studded with chorizo.

us didn’t think all that much about
where that beef originated or what else
was in our burgers. Then came Fast
Food Nation, the 2001 book from inves-
tigative journalist Eric Schlosser that
exposed the dirty business of fast-food
burgers and forced many Americans to
think about the true cost of inexpensive,
on-the-go meals.
The old guard responded by high-
lighting price over quality. In 2002,
McDonald’s debuted the Dollar Menu.
By tagging double cheeseburgers at only
$1, the chain made money but may have
damaged its reputation with a younger,
more ingredient-conscious generation.
Burger King and Wendy’s followed suit
with their own value menus and further
expanded into world markets.
“The consumer presumed that the
quality of the beef had suffered at such
a low price point,” says Dave Palmer, a
managing director at RBC Capital
Markets who covers restaurant trends.
“It opened the door for high-quality
burger concepts.”
Like Five Guys.
Around the same time that the Golden
Arches started selling burgers for a buck,
Five Guys CEO Jerry Murrell began
franchising his D. C.-based burger restau-
rants in the District, Virginia, and Mary-
land. Murrell made the proclamation that
unlike the big-league burger chains, Five
Guys would sell burgers made only with
high-quality beef.
If you’ve ever had the displeasure of
tasting one of those preformed, from-
the-freezer-aisle burger patties, you’ll
know what subzero temperatures can do
to beef. The texture more resembles that
of the chicken in a chicken sandwich,
requiring a dedicated chew, instead of
being pleasantly tender. And the taste is
devoid of that soul-satisfying savoriness,
replaced by a metallic tinge that’s often
eliminated only by a hard-cooked char.
Murrell knows the benefits of fresh
beef, even if he is the type of 73-year-
old guy you can never really get a
straight answer out of. If you’re at his
37,000-square-foot corporate head-
quarters in Virginia and ask him about,
say, what beef blends he purchases, he’ll
point you to an imposing red door. The
sign on it reads TEST KITCHEN—AUTHO-
RIZED PERSONNEL ONLY. Five Guys now
has close to 1,600 restaurants in rural
strip malls and big-city skyscrapers and
everywhere in between. Murrell owns
roughly half of the better-burger cate-
THE FOOD ISSUE
gory and is hardly suffering by offering
a menu focused largely on burgers, hot
dogs, and fries.
You won’t find Brussels sprouts or
sweet potatoes at a Five Guys anytime
soon, and Murrell seems okay with that.
Ask him about salads and he’ll tell you
this: “Salads are dangerous.”
Grated carrot is a choking hazard?
Romaine might have E. coli?
He just smiles.
Back when Five Guys started its ex-
pansion (along with the equivalent
West Coast pioneer, In-N-Out Burger),
I remember stumbling into a group of
blitzed college students in D. C. one night.
I asked them why they had chosen Five
Guys over the less expensive McDonald’s
nearby. “This is a much better burger,”
one told me, “and it’s fresh beef!” If
wasted college kids were willing to pay a
little more for a higher-quality meal, fast-
food establishments might be in trouble.
“Price is not the differentiator anymore;
quality and customer experience are,” says
David Portalatin, a food-industry analyst
at the NPD Group. The average cost of a
cheeseburger at Five Guys is around six
bucks. (A Big Mac is about $4.) But burger
prices at other fast-casual chains can run
upward of $8. And consumers are prepared
to pay, Portalatin argues, because they now
want to eat food that fits their lifestyle.
At Smashburger, you can order your
Classic Smash (top left) with a side of
crispy Brussels sprouts and a local beer.
Exposed brick, soft lighting, high-
tops, and large type showcasing its
ingredients decorate most of the chain’s
locations. And the name? It comes from
the old-school, ball-and-smash burger-
griddling technique used by diners.
“The definition of what’s healthy has
gone tribal,” Portalatin says, explaining
that today’s burger consumers like to
self-select what they believe is good for
them. “There’s the carb tribe, the sus-
tainability tribe, the protein tribe—but
the common thread is a path to purity.”
BURGER CHAINS
GO HEALTHY(ISH)
FIVE GUYS MAY have fired the opening
salvo, but the better-burger chains’
next aim is to harness the power of that
purity. Their strategies: source better
ingredients, develop inclusionary menus
featuring proteins beyond beef and
chicken, and cater to a hungry public
with changing tastes.
No company is doing more on the pu-
rity front than Shake Shack. The burger
spot opened in 2001 as a nondescript
stand in Manhattan’s Madison Square
Park. Fueled by public fervor, Shake
Shack expanded its menu in 2004 and
soon after began franchising its concept:
serve burgers made with the same care
and consideration as four-star food.
Shake Shack was, after all, the brainchild
of New York City fine-dining restaura-
teur Danny Meyer.
Last year, Shake Shack opened its
Wonkaesque offshoot, the Innovation
Kitchen, in New York’s West Village.
MEN’S HEALTH / April 2019 91

“TH E FA ST -FO OD MO DE L IS
FA IL IN G TH E AM ER IC AN
CO NS UM ER . PE OP LE’ S
PA LA TES AR E GO ING TO
CO NT INU E TO EV OL VE .”
The space features a typical industrial
kitchen abutting a sleek dining room with
wood-topped tables and vibrant foliage.
Patrons can sample potential menu items
and limited-edition burgers, some from
Michelin-starred chefs. Daniel Humm,
chef of the vaunted Eleven Madison Park,
built a Humm Burger (adorned with
Gruyere, truffle mayo, and shaved black
truffle). Fergus Henderson, of the nose-
to-tail restaurant St. John in London,
crafted the Eel Burger (exactly what you
think). Admittedly, these chef-driven
burgers are more for the press than they
are for the public, but the Innovation
Kitchen does experiment with new menu
items (a veggie burger, for one) designed
for wide release.
Mark Rosati, head of the Innovation
Kitchen, is also Shake Shack’s culinary
director. Bright-eyed, scruffy, and looking
more like a Silicon Valley entrepreneur
than a chef, Rosati helms a team whose
goal is to deploy the same strategies used
92 April 2019 / MEN’S HEALTH
by high-end restaurants to source su-
preme ingredients. That means no GMOs,
antibiotics, or growth hormones. “We go
organic where we can,” he says. In the com-
ing years, Shake Shack plans to work with
farmers and ranchers to further enhance
its food. Recently in Seattle and Palo Alto,
California, Rosati’s team contracted with
cattle ranchers outside the cities to deliver
a grass-fed burger to local customers.
If Shake Shack can follow Five Guys’
lead and infiltrate malls across America,
then stopping for an organic, antibiotic-
free, grass-fed burger while you run er-
rands might not sound so strange. Same
goes for the non-beef-based burgers that
are redefining what a “burger” even is.
Around the country, at 100-odd Burger-
Fis and 200-plus FatBurgers, diners can
order plant-based “meat” patties. The
Habit Burger Grill, based in California,
sells an addictive ahi tuna fillet burger.
“The burger category is gigantic,” says
Russ Bendel, CEO of the Habit Burger
Shake Shack’s Innovation
Kitchen takes the sourcing
and techniques of a four-star
restaurant and applies them
to . . . chicken nuggets?
Skeptical you may be, but it’s
one of the fastest-growing
burger franchises in America.
Fans say that once you taste
its food, you’ll know why.
Grill. “The entire market, domestically
alone, generates more than $100 billion
annually.” That said, “if you really dis-
sect the category, only about $5 billion
of that revenue is coming from better
burgers.” But that will change, he argues.
“The fast-food model is failing the
American consumer. People’s palates
are going to continue to evolve.” So, yeah,
Shake Shack’s 195 locations are nothing
compared with McDonald’s 14,000-plus,
but Shake Shack reported a growth rate
of 31.2 percent in 2017. The same year,
McDonald’s saw a 0.93 percent increase
in locations opened worldwide. Who’s
got the momentum?
BUT REALLY, DOES ANY
OF THIS MATTER?
AT ELEVATION BURGER, founded in 2005
and now expanding beyond its 27 U.S. lo-
cations, healthfulness looms large. “With
100 percent organic, grass-fed, free-range
beef burgers and fresh fries cooked in
heart-healthy olive oil, we’ve elevated the
typical burger-joint standards so you can
maintain yours,” boasts the company’s
website. Yet for all this talk of organic and
otherwise higher-quality ingredients, I
began to wonder if replacing a Big Mac
habit with a health-conscious-burger habit
could change the way you look and feel.
“Sure, a higher-quality burger is better
than a lower-quality burger,” says Men’s

Health nutrition advisor Chris Mohr,
Ph.D., R.D., who, yes, enjoys eating burg-
ers, fast-casual and otherwise. He cites
marginally higher levels of omega-3 fatty
acids in grass-fed meat and, in the case
of BurgerFi and Shake Shack, no anti-
biotics. “But it isn’t quite the same as
packing a quality lunch for the office.”
A burger is still a burger, after all, not a
kale salad with grilled chicken breast.
Mohr recommends having only one
burger—preferably a high-quality one—
once a week. The main reason: If you’re
eating burgers more frequently, you
might be crowding out other sources of
protein that provide you with different
nutrients. Too many burgers often means
too few servings of heart-healthy, omega-
3-loaded salmon or fiber-rich chili.
The new burger chains feed this diet
diversification. And what about those
alternatives to beef burgers popping up
at fast-casual joints? Well, while younger
consumers do order plant-based meat
burgers and chicken sandwiches, they’re
doing so only occasionally, according to
Portalatin. In addition, his research sug-
gests that consumers will fork over more
for local and artisanal products made by
a 100-year-old bakery down the street,
even if they’re less healthy. Lesson: It’s
important to discern how much market-
ing bull comes with your burger. That’s
why it’s best to look at the company’s
nutrition information, not just its menu
language, Mohr says.
BurgerFi builds on
the fast-casual concept
by offering a diverse,
expanded menu. There
are beef burgers. There
are plant-based “beef”
burgers. There are veggie
burgers. And then, for the
indecisive, there’s
the Conflicted Burger,
which arrives stacked
with one beef patty and
one veggie patty.
But better-burger spots do deliver on
one key point, says Portalatin: menu
diversity. Consumers now want to know
what they’re eating, where it comes
from, and whether it aligns with their
diet. Maybe you’ll spring for the new
lettuce-wrapped, double-beef-patty,
egg-and-bacon-topped KetoFi burger
at BurgerFi, if that’s your thing. Likely
it’s not. But you don’t see Burger King
offering keto options. That variety is what
makes the new burger chains more wel-
coming to potential consumers, Portala-
tin says, while delivering on satisfaction.
If you’re eating, say, a Paleo Burger
(two burger patties, guacamole, tomato,
and bacon wrapped in lettuce, delivering
505 calories) from Elevation Burger
and you’re relishing the flavor guilt-free,
well, that’s burger bliss.
HOW THE BURGER WAR
WILL BE WON
FOR THE PAST three years—even though
McDonald’s, Burger King, and Wendy’s
have dominated sales—Americans have
named Five Guys and In-N-Out their fa-
vorite burger chains, according to recent
Harris polls.
Despite shifting tastes, not much
has changed on the menus of the three
big chains. Last year, McDonald’s ad-
vertised a single menu item made with
“fresh” (never frozen) beef, but that
raised the question: What are the rest
of its burgers made with?
THE FOOD ISSUE
For a corporate burger chain, chang-
ing anything is difficult and innovation
comes slowly. “They’re struggling for the
first time and addressing their relevance
among next-generation customers,”
Ryan says, “but they can’t get out of
their own way.” While McDonald’s and
Wendy’s squabble via Twitter about
whose beef tastes better, the new-school
chains are actually out searching for
the best-tasting beef and developing
bold new menu items.
“The future you can count on is people
putting a higher aesthetic value on food,”
Ryan says, before adding, “but just doing
it with food is not enough. It’s the expe-
rience that the next generation of burger
lovers are looking for.” Yes, Ryan has a
business stake in all this, but he’s only
reflecting what’s worked in the past—be-
fore the commoditization and subsequent
degradation of America’s favorite food.
I know what I’m looking for: a great
burger that I can find anywhere. If it’s
made from organic ingredients that also
might be a little bit nutritious for me, all
the better. I’m looking for the experi-
ence of that burger from the Apple Pan,
without having to travel to the Apple Pan.
We’re getting closer. I can taste it.
GEORGE MOTZ is the author of Hamburger
America and The Great American Burger
Book. He’s on Instagram and Twitter
(@MotzBurger) if you want to talk burgers
or the subtleties of mayonnaise.
MEN’S HEALTH / April 2019
 04/19 APR
THE
FUTURE
OF
FOOD

Kimbal Musk and

Tobias Peggs
Their solution: farms
that flourish inside
shipping containers.
94
 Jack Algiere
and Dan Barber
Their solution:
regenerative
agriculture and
cuisine.

Your taste buds don’t

lie. Vegetables and fruits
are becoming blander,
and many varieties
are now endangered
thanks to the spread of
industrial agriculture.
However, traditionalists
and futurists alike are
refining alternative
farming methods that
offer great-tasting and
sustainable solutions.
Who will win out?
BY
RICHARD MARTIN
PHOTOGRAPHS BY
CHRISTOPHER TESTANI
O
On a cold, rainy night in Brooklyn, a crowd
gathers inside the building that houses
Square Roots, a company cofounded by
CEO Tobias Peggs, a tech entrepreneur,
and Kimbal Musk, who sits on the boards of
Tesla and SpaceX (both started by his older
brother, Elon) as well as Chipotle. Located on
a dreary street in Bedford-Stuyvesant, the
building is, technically, a farm. Its parking
lot holds ten enclosed shipping containers.
With a bit of showmanship, Peggs
throws open the door to one of the
containers and a violet glow envelops
the crowd. Inside, tightly packed ver-
tical rows of red leaf lettuce, basil, and
mint grow hydroponically through a
96 April 2019 / MEN’S HEALTH
combination of artificial light and
a nutrient-rich solution. Musk and
Peggs say they can cultivate three
acres of plants in one container using
a technique that could be adopted by
any city in the world.
At the heart of the vertical-farming
trend championed by Musk and Peggs
is the idea that although you can find
lettuce at your grocery store in Boston
in January, thanks to a system that al-
lows farms in states like California and
Arizona to ship fresh greens across the
country at a reasonable cost, there are
better alternatives. Growing lettuce
outdoors on a large-scale farm uses a lot
of water. Plus, it’s estimated that during
the up-to-five-day domestic trip from
these farms to the grocer, the greens
lose much of their nutritional value.
About 35 miles north of Brooklyn, a
back-to-the-future approach to farm-
ing is growing. A few days later, I join
Jack Algiere, the farm director of Stone
Barns Center for Food and Agriculture
in Pocantico Hills, New York, and we
walk along a hillside path with cows
and lambs grazing on one side, goats
frolicking on the other. Dressed in a
flannel shirt and a sturdy coat, he en-
ters a half-acre greenhouse. Lettuce
leaves the size of a baby elephant’s ears
luxuriate in the warm air. Purple and
yellow stalks of chard erupt from the
earth, which is dark brown and lush.
Algiere treats this food with the same
care and attention as Dan Barber, a top
chef. Barber runs Blue Hill at Stone
Barns, a farm-driven restaurant that
consistently ranks as one of the best
restaurants in the world.
You would think the viewpoints
of Musk and Barber, two of the most
influential voices in farming, would
be closely aligned, but their debate
about how to grow lettuce is getting
heated and dirty.
Barber: “[Kimbal’s] really smart,
but the only reason he wants everyone
to eat salad in the winter is because it’s
the only thing he can grow in a vertical
farm. He’d be telling you he’d want ev-
eryone to eat rutabaga if he could grow
rutabaga. I love the guy, but let’s be hon-
est: You can’t grow anything.”
Musk: “I don’t think [Dan] has a fun-
damental disagreement with what I’m
doing. He sees the momentum mov-
ing towards indoor farming, and he
doesn’t like that future.”
What’s at stake is billions of dollars
and the future of food on the planet.
Over the past 50 years, large farms
growing massive amounts of one crop
 THE FOOD ISSUE

(known as monoculture) have gobbled
up land. While industrial farming has
increased crop yields, it’s done so at
the expense of consumer choice. In
a span of 80 years, the variety of the
world’s seeds dwindled by 93 percent,
according to the Rural Advancement
Foundation International: In 1903,
497 types of lettuce existed, but by
1983, there were just 36. Industrial
farming is so chemically reliant and
ultimately bad for the soil (not to
mention bad for the diets of those who
live on its produce) that the United
Nations’ 2013 trade and development
conference urged a global return to
sustainable farming practices.
Nowhere are the consequences of
industrial farming more evident than
at your supermarket, where identical-
looking potatoes, carrots, and greens
line the produce shelves. The pre-
sentation looks attractive, but that
sameness is a result of destructive
land-management practices—prac-
tices that lead to less-nutritious pro-
duce. And then there’s foodborne
illness. Remember the Great 2018 Ro-
maine Lettuce Scare? Investigators
traced that outbreak back to a large-
scale farm in Santa Maria, California.
“It’s not like this is the question we
should be thinking about five gener-
ations from now,” Barber says. “This
stuff takes a long time, but time is
running out.”
THE MUSKS SHALL
INHERIT THE EARTH
S Q U A R E R O O T S may be the least
splashy of all of Kimbal Musk’s endeav-
ors. The South African native became
involved in the food world after making
millions building and selling start-ups,
both on his own and with his brother.
He did a stint in culinary school in New
York City, then settled in Boulder, Col-
orado. Lost in the shadows of the Musk
sibling mythology is that Kimbal is
actually a legitimate farm-to-table pio-
neer. He opened his first restaurant, the
Kitchen, in 2004, sourcing ingredients
from Colorado’s rich agriculture and
livestock communities.
Musk launched Square Roots with
Peggs in 2016 with one concept: “Can
we take a young person with no experi-
ence and bring them in and teach them
how to farm in a box in double-quick
time and get them to grow food that is
tasty, that people want to eat?”
The initial results were encourag-
ing, although Square Roots cycled
through distribution concepts before
arriving at its current direct-to-retail
model. You can now find Square Roots’
greens and herbs at specialty grocers
around New York City. Later this year,
the company plans to operate in other

Plump basil leaves (below) bask in the pinkish glow of one

of Square Roots’ hydroponic shipping-container farms
(bottom right). While the company grows primarily lettuce and
herbs (like sage, at right), it plans to expand its crop variety to
include eggplants and carrots in coming years.

MEN’S HEALTH / April 2019 97

 Algiere (holding carrots) has
worked with Barber for 15 years to
promote a place-based approach to
farming and eating. Practices include
using a mix of heirloom and hybrid
seeds, cultivating soil health, and
developing more of what Algiere calls
“slow tools”—those expressly designed
for small-scale, diversified farming.

U. S. cities and then scale from there.
In each market, the produce will travel
from the shipping containers to nearby
store shelves, a solution that is hyperlo-
cal and, now, highly traceable.
During the romaine-lettuce scare
of late 2018, when an E. coli outbreak
in California led to a coast-to-coast
recall, Peggs and Musk realized that
the data they compile for Square Roots
would allow them to trace everything
they grow back to the very shipping
container that produced it. Now there’s
a “Transparency” section on the com-
pany’s website where consumers can
enter the lot number from their pack-
age of Square Roots herbs.
There are energy concerns with this
type of farming, as well as a sense that
it isn’t natural, but Musk is leaning
into those issues. This is lab-grown
food, and his team is sciencing the
shit out of it. Strawberries, eggplants,
beets, radishes, carrots, and more will
come to market in five years.
“Right now we’re super-premium
and people love it,” Musk says. “But
over time we really want it to be about
real food for everyone. We can get the
price down and deliver delicious prod-
uct 365 days a year.”
THE REAL DIRT ON
HERITAGE FARMING
STONE BARNS CENTER runs appren-
ticeship and education programs
aimed at training and supporting
small farmers. Small-scale farming
is knowledge-intensive and compli-
cated, Algiere acknowledges, but it’s
the right thing to do for ourselves and
the planet.
Watch the news and it’s depressing
for farmers, but there was a glimmer of
good news in the USDA’s 2017 Agricul-
ture Census. At the same time that the
overall number of farms in the United
States decreased by 5 percent to only
2 million, farms with annual revenues
between $100,000 and $250,000 saw
the largest increase in sales between
2016 and 2017.
“This is so important,” says Al-
giere, launching into a soliloquy about
the rising interest of young, first-time
farmers and the surprising upswing
in the number of small U. S. farms. He
grabs a rake and continues his lecture
on how small farms on the perimeter of
major urban centers can not only thrive
but can also conserve the land. Algiere
walks out into a plot of carrots and runs
the rake over the greens protruding
from the soil, explaining that most of
the equipment available to farmers is
of the giant John Deere tractor vari-
ety, because industrial farming has
dominated society since the mid- to
late 20th century. “The problem is that
there hasn’t been a set of tools for small-
scale, diversified farms since 1940,” he
says. That’s why among the many edu-
cational endeavors that Stone Barns
Center supports is Slow Tools, a collec-
tive of farmers, designers, and engi-
neers (with an annual conference held
on the property) aimed at manufac-
turing equipment that can help small
farmers grow vegetables and work their
five-ish acres more efficiently. Attend-
ees include retired engineers who’ve
developed a desire to farm, prototypi-
cal millennials seeking a return to the
land, and even city dwellers who got
their first taste of farming by working
at one of the vertical hydroponic farms.
Barber so believes in Algiere’s work,
as well as the entire regenerative-farm-
ing and land-management movement,
that he cofounded Row 7 Seeds last year.
Barber asserts that most of the seed
business is now owned by chemical
companies that have little interest in
small, regenerative farms. “They don’t
make money on the seeds; they make
money on the intervention of chem-
icals,” he says. “That’s why the seed
company became so important to me.
It really does lay the foundation for ev-
erything that follows, including flavor,
up to when it hits your mouth. That can
be determined on a genetic level.”

98 April 2019 / MEN’S HEALTH


Back in the greenhouse, Algiere
puts down the rake, heads outside, and
walks to a barn filled with hundreds
of chickens. They swarm toward him
and produce a cacophony of clucks that
make it impossible to hold a conver-
sation. He moves toward the pigs and
extends his hand toward a comically
large sow that comes to greet him. “My
animal operations feed the compost
and pasture operation here,” he says.
“My compost system feeds the crops
and orchards, and any leftover feeds
the pigs.” As hogs wrestle playfully, he
whispers about how amazing the bacon
coming from these animals will taste.
Eat the pork from Stone Barns Center
and you will immediately understand
what Algiere means. Try its carrots and
you’ll come to believe what Barber does.
The flavor of these foods—started from
diverse seeds (both heirloom and exper-
imental hybrids), coddled by premium
soil, cultivated with gentler farming
methods—rewards the eater in a way
that your typical supermarket versions
cannot. Is it hard work? Algiere’s cal-
loused hands prove that, yes, it is. But
it’s not anything we haven’t done before.
THE FIGHT FOR
FARMING’S FUTURES
C H R I S N E W M A N , who cofounded
Sylvanaqua Farms in rural Virginia
with his wife in 2013, calls himself a
“permaculturist” and proclaims his
reverence for the land—but also for
technology. “There is no single ‘right’
way to produce food,” he says in an
VENTURE CAPITALISTS HAVE PLEDGED
$1 BILLION OVER THE PAST TWO YEARS
TO VERTICAL-FARMING START-UPS.
OPERATIONS LIKE AEROFARMS’ 70,000-
SQUARE-FOOT-FACILITY IN NEWARK
WILL SOON BE COMMONPLACE.
email interview. His own farming
practices aim to be regenerative, like
Algiere’s, and he’s adamant that these
types of farms can produce food while
helping to restore the environment.
Yet ultimately they won’t be able to
keep up with demand. “Sooner or later,
people on both sides of the debate will
have to understand that sustainable
food production lies in the intersec-
tion of nature and technology, not in
their mutual exclusion.”
Call them rigid in their convictions,
but Musk, Peggs, Barber, and Algiere
are at least stoking the debate about
how to feed the planet healthy food.
And they’re drawing prominent inves-
tors into the search for a resolution.
Investors like Tom Colicchio, a co-
host of Top Chef and an early backer of
Bowery Farming, a company with two
hydroponic farms. “I like what [Bar-
ber] has to say, and I also believe that
through the right kind of farming and
regenerative practices, we can build
soil, we can grow,” he says. “That doesn’t
help if there’s flooding or drought with
climate change. I’m looking at 20 or 30
years down the road, and we’re going to
have to rely on indoor farming.”
But then there’s the issue of energy
use. Henry Gordon-Smith, a lead-
ing consultant on urban agriculture,
advises multinational corporations
and individuals wanting to start their
own vertical, rooftop, or greenhouse
farms. Seated in his Brooklyn office,
he recounts a study he conducted for
an international beverage company to
determine the carbon footprint of five
THE FOOD ISSUE
crops grown in three settings: a verti-
cal farm and a greenhouse, both in New
Jersey, and a soil-based farm in Califor-
nia. The results were mixed, depending
on the crop, but a key takeaway was that
the vertical farm’s carbon footprint
was “extraordinarily higher,” due to
the energy used. He adds that when you
account for food waste, water use, and
social impact, the playing field levels
a bit, but the bottom line, he says, is
“there’s no silver bullet. That’s not the
catchy sound bite that people are look-
ing for, but that’s the fact.”
Yet the cash continues to pour into
vertical farming. Venture capitalists
have pledged about $1 billion over the
past two years to fund start-ups like
Plenty, AeroFarms, and Bowery Farm-
ing. Amazon, Google, and Microsoft
are in the game. Market research proj-
ects the global vertical-farming market
will hit $10 billion by 2025. Operations
like AeroFarms’ 70,000-square-foot
facility in Newark, New Jersey, and the
100,000-square-foot farm that Plenty
built outside Seattle will soon become
commonplace, proponents suggest.
Matt Barnard—the CEO of Plenty,
which ha s a ma ssed more t ha n
$200 million from investors like Ama-
zon’s Jeff Bezos and SoftBank, the ma-
jority shareholder in Uber—explains
that he’s going big because of the scale
of the problem. “I was brought in by one
thing and now I’m here for many—for
health, nutrition, stresses on the land
system,” Barnard says. That mission,
however, may depend on trusting in not
one solution but a combination of many.
For the moment, the vegetables
available at your local farmers market
or upscale grocery store reflect this
dichotomy. You can easily find a plastic
tub of lettuce from a hydroponic farm
and, depending on the season, you may
also find a sweeter, smaller, more effi-
cient variety of honeynut squash devel-
oped in part by Barber and Row 7 Seeds.
Hydroponically grown greens and
soil-grown, small-farm-produced
squash living side by side in harmony:
It’s a utopian vision already playing
out in front of your shopping cart. The
true question is, will you buy either?
The answer, if you’re really concerned
about your health and the health of the
planet, is that you’ll buy both.
MEN’S HEALTH / April 2019 99
 What Makes a
Food Super?

Ask
Moringa.
The idea of E XOT I C F O O D A S S I LV E R B U L L E T existed
long before raspberry ketones, goji berries,
or maca root. YET CONSUMERS STILL FALL for these
supposedly magical products.
ALAN LEVI NOVITZ, PH.D., investigates how one
such superfood came to be.

ILLUSTRATIONS BY Delcan & Co.

“MORINGA OLEIFERA. Have Seven years after that episode, health- to swallow, a bit like grass clippings and
you ever heard of that?” Mehmet Oz, M.D., conscious consumers can find moringa wet earth. Still, the global market value of
asked his TV audience in 2012. “Moringa everywhere from Whole Foods to Walmart moringa supplement products will grow
oleifera comes from the Himalayas! And and in teas, powders, and capsules. There by nearly 10 percent by 2022, according to
there’s a tree in the northwest part of India, are moringa snack bars, moringa energy research from Technavio. The global sup-
where this grows, that has been used for shots, and even moringa snack puffs (glu- plement market hit $132.8 billion in 2016,
many, many centuries there, for the very ten-free!). Its purported benefits include and though moringa is a small portion
reason that you feel you’re being sapped, lowering blood pressure and blood sug- of that, its growth is indicative of what it
which is that you don’t have enough energy.” ar, fighting cancer, and even protecting takes to stand out in a crowded field. To
Dr. Oz and a guest stand behind a against arsenic toxicity. Moringa prod- understand the rise of moringa, you have
table covered in supplement jars and ucts come emblazoned with all the stan- to look beyond flavor and at how, like so
featuring a sign: R E E N E R G I Z E Y OU R dard buzzwords—“organic,” “pure,” “raw,” many acais and chia seeds and so-called
LIF E. He presents her with a cup of mor- “vegan,” “non-GMO”—and often advertise superfoods before it, it has moved from
inga tea. It shimmers yellowish green in that they’re better for you than kale. The obscure food to billion-dollar business.
the glass cup. She sips and grimaces. She taste? Well, a smoothie does a good job of That means going way back to when the
does not look reenergized. masking what would otherwise be tough marketing of moringa all started.

100 April 2019 / MEN’S HEALTH

MEN’S HEALTH / April 2019 101
 SEED THE EXOTIC
STEP 1:
ORIGIN STORY
IN 2010, a Peace Corps volunteer named
Lisa Curtis was living in Niger and sub-
sisting on a diet of rice and millet. After a
few months, she began to feel weak. That’s
when some villagers told her about a local
plant that natives of the Sudan in Africa
had called shagarat al rauwãq: “the clar-
ifier tree.” Every part of the plant is edible,
and it is drought resistant, making it a reli-
able source of calories. Its leaves are high in
protein, vitamins, and minerals, adequate
amounts of which are vital in areas with
limited food. That plant, moringa, could
create miracles.
Within days of adding moringa to her
diet, Curtis says, she felt her lethargy lift,
and she grew fascinated by the plant’s
potential to help people. Curtis returned
to the States in 2011, and with three busi-
ness partners launched an Indiegogo
campaign to crowdfund a company called
Kuli Kuli. With three moringa snack-bar
products, she and her cofounders touted
its possible uses with lists like “10 Rea-
sons to Eat Moringa Every Day,” which
included preventing and managing dia-
betes, supporting cardiovascular health,
and treating asthma symptoms. (To their
credit, they also offered the standard
superfood equivocations: has the “poten-
tial” to treat, “has been recognized as a
powerful tool,” etc.)
102 April 2019 / MEN’S HEALTH
Curtis had the good luck to launch Kuli
Kuli at a time of explosive growth in the
superfood and supplement business. Over
the past five years, the number of vitamin
and supplement businesses has increased
by 3.4 percent—not a small figure consid-
ering that the 2018 U. S. market brought in
$31 billion, according to a report by mar-
ket-research firm IBIS World. An aging
baby-boomer generation, determined to
preserve good health, may explain why.
Even the word superfood has become more
widespread. In 2015 alone, the number of
new food and drink products labeled as
superfoods, superfruits, or supergrains
increased 36 percent globally, according
to Mintel, and in true American style, the
U. S. led “super” product launches.
The provenance and promises of morin-
ga have put it on many of the same shelves
as acai berries from Central and South
America, goji berries from China, and
maca from Peru. “Superfood implies some-
thing exotic,” says Paul Zullo, the manag-
ing director at Silver Creative, a branding
company that works frequently with food,
beverage, and nutrition products. “It’s
probably something from Egypt or South
America, grown somewhere unusual. You
don’t get superfoods from Kansas.” They
all make use of the same formula: an ingre-
dient from a foreign land that helps natives
achieve miraculous health, and that may in
fact do the same for you.
SPRINKLE
STEP 2:
THE MAGIC PIXIE DUST
IT’S EASY to see the marketing appeal of
a purifying tree. But no one shopping for
moringa powder is likely to ever use the
plant in the way that led to its nickname.
That’s because the people who coined the
whole miracle-tree thing weren’t pow-
dering leaves and sprinkling them into
smoothies. They had a more urgent con-
cern: drinking water. Powdered moringa
seeds, not leaves, are good for purifying
H20 but not much else, though many man-
ufacturers push moringa supplements as
a way to help you “detox.” If human beings
didn’t have their own miracle organ capa-
ble of handling toxins, then moringa
would surely be a miracle cure. But you do
have such an organ—your liver.
Ask Curtis about the powers of morin-
ga and she’ll direct you to research on the
company’s website. “There are three main
reasons that people become excited about
moringa: nutrient density, plant protein,
and anti-inflammatory benefits.”
Kevin Klatt, Ph.D.,  a nutritional
biochemist at Cornell, has conducted
nutrient analysis on moringa to assess
its potential as a supplement to help mal-
nourished people. Klatt reviewed the Kuli
Kuli website and its “10 Reasons to Eat
Moringa Every Day.” He concluded that
most of those reasons were highly specu-
lative and often based on small studies
in journals of dubious quality. One of the
larger studies, published in The Bioscan,
showed that Moringa oleifera could treat
hypoglycemia. However, the journalistic
integrity of The Bioscan was questioned
in a 2014 report by Serbian researchers.
What’s more, many of moringa’s supposed
benefits might also be attributable to less
exotic, less expensive plants. 
Klatt observed that moringa’s fans
point to a specific kind of disease-fighting
antioxidant (called isothiocyanates) as a
reason to love the plant—but isothiocya-
nates are common compounds found in
more mundane cruciferous veggies such
as cauliflower and mustard greens.
So how did Moringa oleifera infiltrate
some of the largest stores in America?
Through high-profile advocates such as Dr.
Oz, yes, but also through more subtle mar-
keting tactics. Take, for instance, a 2018
Washington Post article titled “Moringa,
the Next Superfood?” It seems legit: Writ-
ten by a University of California, Davis sci-
ence writer, the story quotes researchers
from her university who gush about how
 THE FOOD ISSUE

the plant can delay diabetes and “feed the

world.” As science watchdog HealthNews-
Reviews.org pointed out, though, the piece Facing this consensus on
is actually a paid advertorial, designed to
look similar to a Washington Post news
healthy eating that
article. Not only that, it failed to disclose at emphasizes whole foods,
SUPERFOOD SUPPLEMENTS
the time that one of the scientists cited was
a paid consultant for Kuli Kuli.
Nutrition experts like Klatt have pushed
back on the rhetoric of superfoods. “I am are now appealing
not a fan of the word superfood,” Klatt to consumers
says.“It leads to people buying perceived
‘exotic’ foods and supplements even though with a higher cause.
consuming a nutritionally adequate diet is
possible by buying foods at the supermar-
ket.” Dietitians stress that overall dietary
patterns are the key to good health, and all of this, there’s a whiff of the ancient new generation of superfoods, like the
that superfoods provide few, if any, added magic—consuming something with a first, remains bound up with shaky sci-
benefits to an already healthy diet. good soul to fortify your own, like eating entific claims. Cornwell emphasized to
Facing this consensus on healthy eating deer to become swifter. And with super- me that consumers are self-interested,
that emphasizes whole foods, superfood foods, the ritual of consumption happens which means they may pay a premium for
supplements are now appealing to consum- twice: once when you buy the product and a morally good product if they also believe
ers with a higher cause. again when you eat it. “Food and medi- it benefits them. In the case of moringa,
cine are particularly sensitive products the nutritive benefits are unequivocal,
because you ingest them,” says T. Bettina but only for people in areas that struggle
G ROW THE
STEP 3: Cornwell, Ph.D., head of the University of with malnutrition. When it comes to your
HALO EFFECT Oregon’s marketing department. average guy shopping at Whole Foods, the
IT’S NOT E NOUG H for some superfood There also may be a feedback effect science doesn’t scream “miracle.”
companies to want to change your health. between doing good and feeling good,
They want to change the planet, too. Kuli thanks to a well-established psychologi- A F T E R I N T E RV I E W I N G Lisa Curtis, I
Kuli advertises: “Nourishing You, Nour- cal phenomenon called the halo effect. In became convinced that at Kuli Kuli, the
ishing the World.” Natierra-brand goji various contexts, researchers have shown mission is sincere. Yes, the products are
berries (motto: “Superfoods with Soul”) that a person’s overall impression of a overpriced based on their nutritional
advertise “Buy One Bag, product influences the value for consumers, but there is no rea-
Feed One Child.” Alex- perception of specific, son to doubt the company’s claim that it
ander Chernev, Ph.D., FOUR SUPER- unrelated qualities. For has generated $1.2 million in revenue for
a professor of market- FOODS THAT DON’T example: High-priced more than 1,365 moringa farmers in Afri-
ing at Northwestern’s NEED A MARKETING wines taste better when ca. These actions encourage consumers to
Kellogg School of Man- the drinker is aware of think globally about sustainability.
CAMPAIGN
agement, explains that the price. At the same time, you should acknowl-
you’re likely to see a Here’s what’s really With coinvestigator edge the appeal of superfoods for what it
purchase as valuable in worth your money and Sean Blair, Chernev is, and always has been: the promise of an
refrigerator space.
two different ways. “For studied the effect of easy solution to deep anxieties. In truth
example, say that I buy BEETS That deep, rich red perceived corporate there is no powder that can heal your woes,
a bottle of Ethos water,” color signals that they contain responsibility on prod- nutrition-related or otherwise. You can’t
anthocyanins, disease-fighting
he says, referring to the antioxidants also found in uct evaluations and buy your way to being a good person, no
Starbucks subsidiar y purplish foods like blueberries found that altruism matter how sincere the mission of the com-
and blackberries.
that contributes 5 cents functions like high panies you’re buying from. So applaud the
of every purchase to its ASPARAGUS It’s fresh right now, price. When consum- new superfoods, insofar as they indicate
Ethos Clean Water Fund. and packed with fiber (4 grams ers were told a company a change in what we value—a focus on
in 12 spears) for little caloric
“One reason is that I want cost (39 in 12 spears). was engaged in charita- helping the world in addition to ourselves.
to reward the company ble giving, their experi- But also remember that making good on
for its good behavior. DANDELION GREENS Many ence of the company’s those values, like leading a healthy life,
supermarkets now sell these
The other reason is not to bitter greens bundled. Dark leafy pr o du c t i mpr o v e d: will take much more than a little powder
reward the company but greens like these battle cancer Wine ta sted bet ter, in your smoothies.
and heart disease.
because I feel some sort teeth looked whiter,
of moral satisfaction DRAGON FRUIT This rose- hair looked thicker, a ALAN LEVINOVITZ, Ph.D., is an associate
and self-affirmation. I colored, wild-looking fruit has scanned image looked professor of religion at James Madison
a tender interior that tastes
believe I am a socially like a kiwi, but more sweet-tart. crisper. The problem, University. He’s the author of The Gluten
responsible person.” In It’s high in antioxidants. though, is that this Lie: And Other Myths About What You Eat.

MEN’S HEALTH / April 2019 103

 THE (Above)
AVERAGE GUY
HOW DO YOU RATE?

MonaMakela/Getty Images (man with dog), LightFieldStudios/Getty Images (French bulldog), Olesya22/Getty Images (cat), Desiree Navarro/Getty Images (Van Winkle), Simon Murell/Getty Images (spider), Conrado Dela Cruz/EyeEm (dog on couch), Julia Christe/Getty Images (dog with crown)
THIS
MONTH
THE UNITED STATES OF PETS
Pet population by animal

76,811,305 58,385,725
DOGS CATS

1,914,394
HORSES

OF ALL MEN
IN THE U.S.

MUST LOVE PETS

OF MEN HAVE USED THEIR Fish: 10,455,235

Rabbits: 975,652

PET TO HIT ON SOMEONE.

Reptiles: 3,770,041

THREE DOGS
is too many
dogs to own,

1/5TH
ANOTHER

1/5TH
according to
40% of men.

of men think it’s a deal

breaker if their love interest Think it’s a deal breaker
kisses their pet on the
mouth. Because jealousy.

in sexiness of

A PUPPY: 54%
of men allow How much men
typically spend on their
furniture. pet per month.
A KITTEN:
of men say security or
3.7% protection was the primary
reason they got their pet.

All rights reserved. Men’s Health is a registered trademark of Hearst Magazines, Inc. Periodicals postage paid at New York, NY and at additional mailing offices. Postmaster: Send all UAA to CFS. (See DMM 507.1.5.2); NON-POSTAL AND MILITARY
FACILITIES: Send address changes to Men’s Health Customer Service, P.O. Box 6000, Harlan, IA 51593-1500. IN CANADA: Postage paid at Gateway, Mississauga, Ontario; Canada Post International Publication Mail (Canadian Distribution) Sales
Agreement No. 40012499. Postmaster (Canada): Send returns and address changes to Men’s Health magazine, P.O. Box 927, Stn Main, Markham ON L3P 9Z9 (GST# R122988611). Mailing Lists: From time to time we make our subscriber list
available to companies that sell goods and services by mail that we believe would interest our readers. If you would rather not receive such mailings by postal mail, please send your current mailing label or exact copy to: Men’s Health, Mail
Preference Center, P.O. Box 6000, Harlan, IA, 51593. You can also visit preferences.hearstmags.com to manage your preferences and opt out of receiving marketing offers by email. Customer Service: Visit service.menshealth.com or write
to Men’s Health Customer Service, P.O. Box 6000, Harlan, IA 51593-1500.

104 April 2019 / MEN’S HEALTH

HEALTH
IS FRAGILE
Before your puppy becomes an adult, his
immune, digestive, sensory and nervous systems
are still in the critical stages of development.

ROYAL CANIN® Puppy formulas contain a tailored

combination of nutrients to support your puppy’s
fragile immune system and his healthy growth
based on his size specific needs. This is important
during the “immunity gap”—the period where he
is no longer protected by the antibodies received
from his mother and is not yet fully protected
by his own.

By feeding him ROYAL CANIN® Puppy, you’ll

see him grow into his magnificent best.

Give your puppy the perfect start. Find your

puppy’s formula at

© ROYAL CANIN® SAS 2019. All Rights Reserved.

GREAT TASTE. ONLY 96 CALORIES.
MILLER LITE. HOLD TRUE.