Am I not worthy to receive a message
saying,
“How was your day?”
“Have you already eaten your lunch?”
“Are you feeling well?”
It’s not that I haven’t received such
messages, but is it too hard to hear it from
them?
I mean, it has been always different when
you hear those phrases from your
parents, so different. & I badly want to
feel that different feeling.
You think I’m having a good time
spending your money on futile things.
You think I party and do foolishness.
You think I am not doing my
responsibilities.
You think I don’t think about your
situation and sacrifices.
You think I don’t care about you.
You think I am just a burden to the family.
But,
Have you ever think of my feelings?
Have you ever think that I suffer too? Not
just mentally, but also emotionally.
Have you ever think of my condition
living far away from my comfort?
Have you ever think of me being alone
without your love and care?
Have you? I guess not.
I suffer too. I suffer from you.
I don’t know if I am suffering from
depression or I am just overreacting.
Sometimes, I think I am a total failure.
Often times, I think I am useless.
I look happy, but deep inside I am not.
When am alone, my tears can’t hide.
I want to go home, but part of me doesn’t
want to, because I know I am not going to
be happy staying there.
They said, no other place like home, but I
feel contrary to that. I always think that
home is war. It’s hard to find peace living
in my home.
I rather live alone and stay away from
them, that I think is now my new comfort.
I want to rest now. My body is suffering
too much. I am mentally, physically and
emotionally tired.
Though, I almost have everything,
education, shelter, food, clothing, but love
of my family.