SCP-1618 - Gilded Urinal

Item #: SCP-1618

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-1618 is to be stored in a safe in High Value

Items Storage on Sector-28. Access to SCP-1618 for purposes of experimentation
requires the experiment proposal and risk assessment forms to be approved by a
researcher with 2/1618 clearance. Due to extended area of effect, any testing is to
be carried out in Test Polygon-2, with the object mounted on its designated stand.
During testing, only D-class personnel are allowed to enter the designated
effective zone. It is recommended that the meals of D-class personnel designated
for SCP-1618 testing are suspended at least two days before the date of the test.

Description: SCP-1618 is a standard Sanura 400 model urinal manufactured by

Armitage Shanks that has been coated with an approximately 0.5mm layer of spray-on
gold paint. With the exception of the paint coat, and a note (See Addendum 1618-1)
found glued on the water supply pipe, the object does not differ from other urinals
in the same series, and the testing of samples of gold paint and vitreous china
detected no anomalies in their composition.

The anomalous properties of SCP-1618 manifest when a person urinates into the bowl.
Approximately 5 seconds after urine comes into contact with SCP-1618, a number of
effects occurs in a growing field of effect, starting in the immediate vicinity of
the urinal, and increasing to cover a sphere approximately 350 metres in diameter.
Except by direct observation of the effects, the affected area can not be
distinguished from its surroundings, and the resulting emanation does not appear
weakened or stopped by any tested materials, up to and including a lead plate of
25cm thickness.

The effects, as observed during initial containment and testing has been summarised
as following.

� Valuable items or currency transform into, or are replaced by an equivalent

volume of various refuse. Observed changes include items made of gold and coinage
becoming human feces, paper currency becoming toilet paper or sections of fresh pig
intestine, and several Armani-brand suits turning into vestments of identical cut
composed of used sanitary towels conjoined with dental floss.
� Personal electronics appears to show the greatest spectrum of transformations,
with results ranging from inflated pig bladders in the rough shape of original
item, sections of brick, or rusty cans. On one occasion, an �����-brand PDA
transformed into segments of depleted fuel rod, resulting in radiation burns to the
test subject.
� Most armaments appear to transform into living birds of appropriate size, with
most personal firearms becoming pigeons, and tear gas grenades turning into flocks
of sparrows. Close contact weaponry transforms into human body sections instead,
with a 40cm nightstick turning into an erect human penis of equivalent length.
� Human feces within the area of effect transform into an equivalent volume of
solid gold. As this includes fecal matter present in the colon, this often results
in an acute mechanical bowel obstruction, and associated sharp abdominal pain,
distension of abdomen and vomiting. In the case of timely surgery, the recovery
rates appear to be well above 95%, similar to that of bowel obstruction caused by
non-anomalous means. In the case of subject's lower intestine being empty, or
containing a small amount of feces, the result is likely constipation and bowel
irritation.

The transformations appear permanent, while the active effect field dissipates
within 30 seconds of the urinal being flushed.
Recovery Log: SCP-1618 was recovered from the executive bathrooms of ������� ����
Group Inc. (further referred to as company) headquarters, located at ��� ����
Street, New York on ��/��/2011, following a series of protests related to the
Occupy Wall Street movement. The Foundation was alerted to the existence of SCP-
1618 when a TV recording from a protest site showed a police water cannon turning
into four adult Casuarius casuarius (cassowary) specimens, following a number of
protesters as well as police units showing signs of distress and clutching their
abdomens.

MTF Gamma-5 ("They're on our side, Sir!") was dispatched on-site as a recovery team
and damage control. SCP-1618 was located following the interrogation of several
protesters and company employees, thorough search of the building, and noting that
no urinal resembling SCP-1618 appears to figure within company purchase records.
Following recovery, affected subjects were provided medical attention, distributed
class-A amnestics, and the entire area was cordoned off under the pretense of SWAT
units action due to invalid permit application on the side of the protesters.

Addendum 1618-1:
Note recovered from SCP-1618

when we
Are victorious on a world scale I think we shall use gold for the purpose of
building public lavatories in the streets of some of the largest cities of the
World. This would be the most �just� and most edu-
Cational way of utilising gold for the benefit of these generations which have
not forgotten how, for the sake of gold, ten million men were killed and thirt-
Y million maimed in the �great war for freedom� ,
? V.I.Uljanov1

Footnotes
1. The birthname of V.I.Lenin, Russian revolutionary and statesman, 1870-1924