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VETERAN CULTURE

A NAVY SEAL DAD’S 10

LESSONS FOR BOYS
by SOFREP · 26 mins ago

Okay, so this is not a special operations, or SEAL, or CIA-speci9c article, nor does it apply to current events,
political intrigue, or international affairs. It has nothing to do with terrorism, or the rise of China, or the re-
emergence of Russia.

This is a much more important subject.

This article is about how to mold a boy into a man. Whether you currently have a son, or might have one in th
future, you have an awesome responsibility ahead of you. You have to raise a responsible, contributing,
successful member of society. You have to teach a boy how to take care of himself and his family, to be a
husband and a father. You have to teach him how to lead, and follow, and love, and respect others. You may
even be teaching him one day to defend our country, or possibly even play a part in leading it.

Now, do not misunderstand me, all you people with daughters. You have an equally awesome duty to your
beautiful girls. You probably have an even harder job, I am willing to wager, in raising them. I honestly haven’
the slightest idea, because I was not blessed with a daughter. I am pretty sure I am not cut out for one, so G
probably spared all of us the trouble. Who knows? At any rate, do not take as an insult my focus on boys. I a
simply unquali9ed to provide you with any thoughts on raising a daughter. I wish you all the luck in the world
though, in doing so.

Some might also—rightly—point out that I am not quali9ed to offer advice on raising sons, either. I have had
professional training, nor have I read a bunch of books on the subject, admittedly. I probably should have do
so, and could surely use some advice on the subject. I can only offer what I know, most of which I learned fr
my own father, who I personally think did a great job—de9nitely the best that he could. Any of my own failing
as a man—and there are many—are no doubt of my own doing, and not owing to any lack of example or
teaching by my own father.
So, having put all of those caveats out there, and without further ado, I humbly offer for your consideration t
lessons I teach my sons to help them become men. Please add your own input into the comments section
below, as I am sure there are many more lessons worth teaching.

1. Take care of your siblings. This is rule one. If you cannot stand up for your brothers and sisters, you have
failed. There is no way around this fact. You should die 9ghting for your family, if it is so required. It would
scarcely be worth living with the shame of failing in this duty. Your friends will come and go, but your family
remains forever.

2. Do not hit a woman. Unless she is threatening your life in an immediate manner (i.e., she is about to kill y
striking a woman can never be justi9ed. Treat women with respect. Open doors, be polite, and always
remember, they have fathers.

3. Do not ever be a bully. You will always be bigger and stronger and faster and better than someone else, a
something. Guess what? Someone else will always be bigger and stronger and faster and better than you, to
Do not ever pick on those weaker than you. Stand up for them. Protect them. There is no honor in wielding y
strength against a weaker person. The honor comes in helping those who need your help.

4. Stand up for yourself. Do not ever let yourself be bullied. Be brave. Defend yourself and your family name
Even if you are beat down for doing so, you will wake up the next day proud and honored that you did not co
before someone who threatened you. Accept defeat if you must, but take pride in the struggle you put up. Th
pain is temporary, but the guilt of backing down will last a very long time.

5. Respect your parents, teachers, and authority Agures. Say “yes, sir” and “yes ma’am.” Give those adults t
deference they deserve as your caregivers, educators, and protectors. Similarly, use good manners at all tim
but especially when you are representing yourself or your family at a formal or public function. People shoul
be impressed with your demeanor, the politeness you exhibit, and with your overall comportment. Cleaning u
after yourself goes along with this. Take pride in yourself and how you come across to others. This shows
respect for yourself and those around you.

6. Don’t be afraid to fail. This goes for virtually all life’s endeavors. It is a cliche, but one that nonetheless be
repeating. I cannot even remember how many times I thought I would fail BUD/S training after doing horribly
one evolution or another. I remember thinking during CIA training at the Farm, “Man, I suck at this.” I rememb
trying to wrap my head around international economics in college, and thinking, “I should not even be at this
university; everyone here is smarter than me by a mile.” Guess what, though? I kept on. I did not quit. All thre
those institutions could have failed me, but I was not going to quit any of them. If I were to fail, so be it. I wa
prepared to give my best effort, and that is all that matters. I would have walked away proud.
7. Play an instrument and a team sport. Learning to read music and playing a guitar, piano, or whichever
instrument you choose, will make you well-rounded and appreciative of those who create art. There is no
reason you should not be literate in one of humanity’s great forms of expression. Hell, maybe you will be ade
enough to be an artist yourself. Also, play a sport. Be a part of a team. You will learn to appreciate sacri9ce
the greater (team) effort. You will learn to appreciate physical 9tness. You will learn what it means to play a
supporting role, because most people are not the star.

8. Take pride and put effort into your education. There is no better way to advance yourself in this world tha
through education. You simply cannot account adequately enough for the power of knowledge in life. It will
allow you to make your way in the world, to know when others are bullshitting you, to realize your aspirations
and to make a positive impact on society. The power of one’s intellect truly surpasses any other attribute, be
money, looks, or social status. Fiercely pursue knowledge, and use it for good in your life.

9. Tend to your faith. Go to church. Exercise your spirituality. Get to know God and your religion. You might
choose one day to be an atheist, an agnostic, or a humanist, but it should only be after you have fully explore
your own faith and religion. Make a spiritually educated decision when it comes to your personal faith. Imm
yourself in its study, and explore it so that you can formulate your own relationship with God, whatever the
nature of that relationship might be.

10. Finally, live your life to the fullest. Explore, dream, create, experience, and own your world and your life.
only get one, and it will go quickly. Never let other people tell you no, if you know the answer can be yes. Be
limited only by yourself and your choices. Work hard to get what you want, and 9ght for what you believe in.
to sleep every night knowing that you either did your best that day, or if you did not, that you will tomorrow.
Regroup and charge forward, always.

There are undoubtedly many more lessons worth teaching your sons to help them become men. These are o
10, but they are a good place to start.

For stories like this and other interesting articles by our veteran writing team subscribe here.

Author Frumentarius is a former Navy SEAL and a former Clandestine Service o<cer with the Central Intelligen
Agency’s Counter-Terrorism Center. He has a Bachelor’s degree in International Politics and a Masters in Histo
He is currently a professional HreHghter. Follow him on Twitter @SOFFru1
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COMMENTS
Join our community. To comment on this article please join/login. Here's a sample of the comments on this post.

Robert S
Boy if everybody did this then by God we'd have a lot less problems.

Robi S
I have a hard time with 5. I teach my son to try to respect everyone and try to respect their position but too often those
authority are bullies. So I make a big emphasis on 4 over 5

Ken M
11. Accept that becoming the man you are destined to become is the purpose of your life and the quest will not end un
you draw your last breath. The challenge begins anew each day, and will be Olled with easy and tough times, victory an
defeat. Make time to appreciate the people, places, and things you meet along the way. For in this you will Ond your joy.

Frumentarius
mrspaul Thanks so much for sharing!

mrspaul
Frumentarius...I was really blessed at work last night. One of my patient's was an 88-year-old gentleman, who served
the Navy for 30 years, retiring as a Commander. He fought in Okinawa, and in Vietnam. I was able to spend an hour ju
talking with him, and his detailed knowledge of history was so impressive. He recommended a couple of books for me to read, a
recommended Sofrep to him. One of the things that he said to me is that he would love to return to the service, but now he's just
old. He voiced a concern regarding the youth of today and their lack of patriotic dedication to serve their country like you all have
done. And that he's concerned about the military's ability to adequately staff the armed forces suZciently, if there is a WW3. I pr
this article about what you are teaching your sons, and his response was, "Maybe there's some hope after all!" It was truly an ho
to have met this man...and to share your 'Fru10' with him. Thank you!!!

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