Character Education Dealing With Bullying PDF

Dealing with
Bullying
Being a Leader and Making Decisions
Being Fair and Honest
Dealing with Bullying
Dealing with Frustration and Anger
Handling Peer Pressure
Handling Teamwork and Respect for Others
Managing Conflict Resolution
Managing Responsibilities
Overcoming Prejudice
Dealing with
Bullying
ALEXA GORDON MURPHY

INTRODUCTION BY CONSULTING EDITORS
Madonna M. Murphy, Ph.D.
University of St. Francis
and Sharon L. Banas
former Values Education Coordinator,
Sweet Home Central School District, New York
Character Education: Dealing with Bullying
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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Murphy, Alexa Gordon.
Dealing with bullying / Alexa Gordon Murphy.
p. cm.—(Character education)
Includes bibliographical references and index.
ISBN 978-1-60413-121-5 (hardcover)
1. Bullying. I. Title. II. Series.
BF637.B85M87 2009
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CONTENTS
Introduction 7
by Madonna M. Murphy, Ph.D., professor of education
at University of St. Francis, Joliet, Illinois, and Sharon L.
Banas, former character education coordinator and middle
school social studies teacher, Sweet Home School District,
Amherst and Tonawanda, New York
1 Bullying Hurts 13
2 Understanding Bullies 25
3 Understanding Victims 32
4 Dealing with Bullying 41
5 Bullying in the Media 54
6 Bullying in Politics and at Work 64
7 Changing the Bullying Culture at Your School 80
Glossary 93
Bibliography 95
Further Resources 104
Picture Credits 105
Index 106
About the Author and Consultants 110
INTRODUCTION
O
n February 14, 2008, as these books were being edited,
a shooting occurred at Northern Illinois University
(NIU) in DeKalb, Illinois. A former NIU graduate stu-
dent, dressed in black and armed with a shotgun and two
handguns, opened fire from the stage of a lecture hall. The
shooter killed five students and injured 16 others before com-
mitting suicide. What could have led someone to do this?
Could it have been prevented?
When the shooting started, student Dan Parmenter and his
girlfriend, Lauren Debrauwere, who was sitting next to him,
dropped to the floor between the rows of seats. Dan covered
Lauren with his body, held her hand, and began praying. The
shield of Dan’s body saved Lauren’s life, but Dan was fatally
wounded. In that hall, on February 14, 2008—Valentine’s
Day—one person’s deed was horrific and filled with hate;
another’s was heroic and loving.
The purpose of this series of books is to help prevent the
occurrence of this kind of violence by offering readers the
character education and social and emotional skills they need
to control their emotions and make good moral choices. This
series includes books on topics such as coping with bullying,
conflicts, peer pressure, prejudice, anger and frustration, and
numerous responsibilities, as well as learning how to handle
teamwork and respect for others, be fair and honest, and be
a good leader and decision-maker.
In his 1992 book, Why Johnny Can’t Tell Right from Wrong,1
William Kilpatrick coined the term “moral illiteracy” and
dedicated a whole chapter to it. Today, as he points out, people
7
8 DEALING WITH BULLYING
often do not recognize when they are in a situation that calls

for a moral choice, and they are not able to define what is right
and what is wrong in that situation. The California-based
Josephson Institute of Ethics agrees with these concerns. The
institute states that we have a “character deficit” in our soci-
ety today and points out that increasing numbers of young
people across the United States—from well-to-do as well as
disadvantaged backgrounds—demonstrate reckless disre-
gard for fundamental standards of ethical conduct.
According to the 2006 Josephson Institute Report Card on
the Ethics of American Youth, our children are at risk. This
report sets forth the results of a biannual written survey
completed in 2006 by more than 36,000 high school students
across the country. The compilers of the report found that 82
percent of the students surveyed admitted that they had lied
to a parent about something significant within the previous
year. Sixty percent admitted to having cheated during a test
at school, and 28 percent admitted to having stolen some-
thing from a store.2 (Various books in this series will tell of
other findings in this report.) Clearly, helping young people to
develop character is a need of national importance.
The United States Congress agrees. In 1994, in the joint
resolution that established National Character Counts Week,
Congress declared that “the character of a nation is only as
strong as the character of its individual citizens.” The reso-
lution also stated that “people do not automatically develop
good character and, therefore, conscientious efforts must
be made by youth-influencing institutions . . . to help young
people develop the essential traits and characteristics that
comprise good character.”3
Many stories can be told of people who have defended our
nation with character. One of the editors of this series knew
one such young man named Jason Dunham. On April 24,
2004, Corporal Jason L. Dunham was serving with the United
States Marines in Iraq. As Corporal Dunham’s squad was
conducting a reconnaissance mission, the men heard sounds
of rocket-propelled grenades and small arms fire. Corporal
Introduction 9
Dunham led a team of men toward that fire to assist their bat-
talion commander’s ambushed convoy. An insurgent leaped
out at Corporal Dunham, and he saw the man release a gre-
nade. Corporal Dunham alerted his team and immediately
covered the grenade with his helmet and his body. He lost his
own life, but he saved the lives of others on his team.
In January 2007, the Dunham family traveled to Washing-
ton, D.C., where President George W. Bush presented them
with Corporal Dunham’s posthumously awarded Congres-
sional Medal of Honor. In the words of the Medal of Honor
citation, “By his undaunted courage, intrepid fighting spirit,
and unwavering devotion to duty, Corporal Dunham gallantly
gave his life for his country.”4
Thomas Lickona, the author of several books including
Educating for Character and Character Matters, explains that
the premise of character education is that there are objec-
tively good human qualities—virtues—that are enduring
moral truths. Courage, fortitude, integrity, caring, citizenship,
and trustworthiness are just a few examples. These moral
truths transcend religious, cultural, and social differences
and help us to distinguish right from wrong. They are rooted
in our human nature. They tell us how we should act with
other human beings to promote human dignity and build a
well-functioning and civil society—a society in which every-
one lives by the golden rule.5
To develop his or her character, a person must understand
core virtues, care about them, and act upon them. This series
of books aims to help young readers want to become people
of character. The books will help young people understand
such core ethical values as fairness, honesty, responsibility,
respect, tolerance of others, fortitude, self-discipline, team-
work, and leadership. By offering examples of people today
and notable figures in history who live and have lived these
virtues, these books will inspire young readers to develop
these traits in themselves.
Finally, through these books, young readers will see that if
they act on these moral truths, they will make good choices.
They will be able to deal with frustration and anger, manage

conflict resolution, overcome prejudice, handle peer pressure,
and deal with bullying. The result, one hopes, will be middle
schools, high schools, and neighborhoods in which young
people care about one another and work with their class-
mates and neighbors to develop team spirit.
Character development is a lifelong task but an exciting
challenge. The need for it has been with us since the begin-
ning of civilization. As the ancient Greek philosopher Aristo-
tle explained in his Nicomachean Ethics:
The virtues we get by first exercising them . . . so too we

become just by doing just acts, temperate by doing tem-
perate acts, brave by doing brave acts. . . . Hence also it is
no easy task to be good . . . to do this to the right person,
to the right extent, at the right time, with the right motive,
and in the right way, that is not easy; wherefore goodness
is both rare and laudable and noble. . . . It makes no small
difference, then, whether we form habits of one kind or of
another from our very youth; it makes a very great differ-
ence, or rather all the difference.6
This development of one’s character is truly The Ultimate

Gift that we hope to give to our young people. In the movie
version of Jim Stovall’s book of the same name, a privileged
young man receives a most unexpected inheritance from his
grandfather. Instead of the sizeable inheritance of cash that
he expects, the young man receives 12 tasks—or “gifts”—
designed to challenge him on a journey of self-discovery.
The gifts confront him with character choices that force him
to decide how one can be truly happy. Is it the possession of
money that brings us happiness, or is it what we do with the
money that we have? Every one of us has been given gifts.
Will we keep our gifts to ourselves, or will we share them
with others?
Being a “person of character” can have multiple meanings.
Psychologist Steven Pinker asks an interesting question in a
Introduction 11
January 13, 2008, New York Times Magazine article titled “The
Moral Instinct”: “Which of the following people would you
say is the most admirable: Mother Teresa, Bill Gates or Nor-
man Borlaug?” Pinker goes on to explain that although most
people would say that, of course, Mother Teresa is the most
admirable—a true person of character who ministered to the
poor in Calcutta, was awarded the Noble Peace Prize, and
was ranked in an American poll as the most admired person
in the twentieth century—each of these three is a morally
admirable person.
Pinker points out that Bill Gates made billions through his
company Microsoft, but he also has decided to give away bil-
lions of dollars to help alleviate human misery in the United
States and around the world. His charitable foundation is
built on the principles that “All lives—no matter where they
are being lived—have equal value” and “To whom much is
given, much is expected.”
Pinker notes that very few people have heard of Norman
Borlaug, an agronomist who has spent his life developing
high-yielding varieties of crops for third world countries. He
is known as the “Father of the Green Revolution” because
he used agricultural science to reduce world hunger and, by
doing so, saved more than a billion lives. Borlaug is one of
only five people in history to have won the Nobel Peace Prize,
the Presidential Medal of Freedom, and the Congressional
Gold Medal. He has devoted his long professional life and his
scientific expertise to making the world a better place.
All of these people—although very different, from different
countries, and with different gifts—are people of character.
They are, says Pinker, people with “a sixth sense, the moral
sense.” It is the sense of trying to do good in whatever situa-
tion one finds oneself.7
The authors and editors of the series Character Education
hope that these books will help young readers discover their
gifts and develop them, guided by a moral compass. “Do
good and avoid evil.” “Become all that you can be—a person
of character.” The books in this series teach these things and
more. These books will correlate well with national social

studies standards of learning. They will help teachers meet
state standards for teaching social and emotional skills, as
well as state guidelines for teaching ethics and character
education.
Madonna M. Murphy, Ph.D.

Author of Character Education in America’s Blue Ribbon
Schools and professor of education, University of St. Francis,
Joliet, Illinois
Sharon L. Banas, M.Ed.

Author of Caring Messages for the School Year and former
character education coordinator and middle school social
studies teacher, Sweet Home Central School District, Amherst
and Tonawanda, New York
FOOTNOTES
1. William Kilpatrick. Why Johnny Can’t Tell Right from Wrong,
New York: Simon and Schuster, 1992.
2. Josephson Institute, 2006 Josephson Institute Report Card
on the Ethics of American Youth: Part One – Integrity. Avail-
able online at: http://josephsoninstitute.org/pdf/ReportCard_
press-release_2006-1013.pdf.
3. House Joint Resolution 366. May 11, 1994, 103rd Congress. 2d
Session.
4. U.S. Army Center of Military History. The Medal of Honor.
Available online at: www.history.army.mil/moh.html.
5. Thomas Lickona, Educating for Character: Teaching Respect
and Responsibility in the Schools. New York: Bantam, 1991.
Thomas Lickona, Character Matters: How to Help Our Children
Develop Good Judgment, Integrity, and Other Essential Virtues.
New York: Simon and Schuster Touchstone Books, 2004.
6. Richard McKeon, editor, “Nicomachean Ethics.” Basic Works of
Aristotle, Chicago: Random House, Clarendon Press, 1941.
7. Steven Pinker, “The Moral Instinct,” The New York Times, Janu-
ary 13, 2008. Available online at www.newyorktimes.com.
BULLYING 1
HURTS
“Many attackers felt bullied, persecuted, or
injured by others prior to the attack.”
—U.S. Secret Service and the Department of Education,
final report and findings of the Safe School Initiative, 2002
B
ullying is not a new problem. Ask your parents and
grandparents, and they’ll likely be able to tell you stories
about bullying from their school days. Just like you, they
might have witnessed, experienced, or participated in teas-
ing, pushing, threatening, or other bullying behavior on the
school bus, at the playground, or in the locker room.
Kids have teased, harassed, and been downright mean
to each other for generations. Until recently, people believed
that bullying was just a part of growing up. Adults shrugged
off bullying, saying, “Kids will be kids.” Kids were left to battle
it out among themselves. It was up to them to learn how to
survive in the tough world of the schoolyard.
However, attitudes about bullying have changed in the last
few decades. Today, bullying is taken much more seriously.
Tragedies such as school shootings and suicides carried out
by victims of bullying have become more common in the late
twentieth and early twenty-first centuries and have brought
the negative effects of bullying front and center in schools.
Most people now know that bullying is not just a right of
13
14 Dealing with bullying
passage for kids. It hurts everyone involved: victims, bullies,

and even bystanders. And when bullying is tolerated, the
community becomes an unsafe place for everyone.
What Is Bullying?
Everyone has to deal with people they don’t like, and not
everyone can get along 100 percent of the time. Everyone
fights sometimes, but not all conflict between people is bully-
ing. It’s important to understand exactly what bullying is and
is not, because the best ways to deal with bullying may not
work for other types of conflicts.
When is conflict just conflict, and when is it bullying? Dan
Olweus, a psychologist who has done extensive research on
bullying, was one of the first researchers to make these dis-
tinctions and define bullying. According to Olweus, normal
Bullying: A Timeless Problem
T o find out how long kids have been bullying each other, one needs
only to look as far as a bookshelf. For example, in the classic Charles
Dickens novel Oliver Twist (1838), the bullying the book’s hero experi-
ences seriously affects his life. Oliver Twist is an orphan who spends
the first nine years of his life in a home for boys and then moves to
a workhouse for adults. There, the other boys taunt and pressure Oli-
ver to ask for more to eat at the end of a meal. When he does, Mr.
Bumble, a church official at the workhouse, offers to pay someone five
pounds (British currency) to take Oliver away. Oliver is apprenticed to
an undertaker. At his apprenticeship, Oliver is taunted and bullied by
a fellow named Noah Claypole. Noah continuously taunts Oliver, and
one day he insults Oliver’s dead mother. Oliver gets angry with Noah
and attacks him. Oliver ends up locked in the cellar. Unable to toler-
ate the way Noah and the undertaker treat him, Oliver runs away the
next morning. Oliver’s experiences show the serious consequences
bullying—and how a person reacts to being bullied—can have.
Bullying Hurts 15
Bullying involves treating someone abusively, either physically, verbally, or

emotionally—or all three.
conflict is when two or more people disagree about

something—usually something accidental, such as bumping
into each other in the hallway or having a misunderstanding.
With normal conflict, neither person is trying to get power or
control over the other person or get attention.
For example, Charlie and Steve are friends. They made
a plan for Steve to come to Charlie’s house after school to
play video games, but Steve never showed up. The next day,
Charlie purposely bumps into Steve in the hallway. “What’s
your problem?” says Steve. “You blew me off!” says Charlie,
giving Steve another little push. The fight escalates until a
teacher comes to break it up. Later, when Charlie finds out
that Steve had gotten the date mixed up and thought their
plan was for Friday, not Wednesday, they resolve the problem.
This was poorly handled conflict, but it wasn’t bullying.
Bullying is different. According to Olweus, “A student

is being bullied or victimized when he or she is exposed,
repeatedly and over time, to negative acts on the part of one
or more other students.” With bullying, the person doing the
bullying is purposely trying to hurt the victim— emotionally
and/or physically. Whereas the conflict between Steve and
Charlie was a onetime event, bullying usually happens
repeatedly over time.
Power is an important part of bullying as well. A bully
is trying to gain power and control over another student.
THE TRAGIC RESULTS OF BULLYING

n 1999, in Littleton, Colorado, high school students Eric Harris and
I Dylan Klebold carried out a deadly shooting at Columbine High
School before committing suicide. They killed 12 students and a teacher
and wounded 28 others before killing themselves. In the aftermath of
the shootings, the American public was left looking for answers to why
two teenage boys would plan and commit such terrible violence. One
possible explanation was bullying.
After the shootings, Columbine students began to talk about the
problem of bullying at their school. Some said that Harris and Klebold
had been treated as social outcasts at school and taunted for their
“goth” or punk-like style of wearing dark clothing and black trench coats.
This information led researchers and the media to look more closely
at the effects of bullying on its victims and the possible link between
bullying and school shootings around the country.
In response to the Columbine shootings as well as others around
the United States, the U.S. Secret Service and the Department of Edu-
cation launched the Safe Schools Initiative to examine the reasons for
these attacks. In their final report (2002), they reported that close to
three-quarters of students who carry out these attacks have “felt per-
secuted, bullied, threatened, attacked or injured by others prior to the
incident.” Since the Columbine shootings, the problem of bullying has
been taken more seriously at many schools across the United States.
Bullying Hurts 17
Because of this power relationship, emotional reactions

to bullying are different from the emotional response in
normal conflict. In normal confl ict, both people have equal
power, and so they might be equally upset about the con-
fl ict. With bullying, the bully has power over the victim, and
so the bullying is very upsetting for the victim but not for
the bully.
THE MANY TYPES OF BULLYING

When most people think of bullying, they picture a child or
group of children teasing, throwing things, pushing, or even
hitting another child. This kind of bullying is known as direct
bullying. Direct bullying can be verbal—name-calling, insult-
ing, teasing, or threatening— or it can be physical—pushing,
tripping, hitting, or otherwise attempting to harm the victim
physically.
Indirect bullying, on the other hand, is less visible but
just as painful to the victim. Indirect bullying is also called
“relational” or social bullying. It includes social actions such
as purposely excluding someone from a group or spreading
rumors about someone. For example, Celia arrives at school
one day and no one will talk to her. It seems all her class-
mates are staring at her and whispering. Even the girls she
thought were her friends aren’t speaking to her. When she
asks a classmate what is going on, she finds out that one of
her so-called friends has been spreading rumors that she
still wets her bed. The rumors aren’t true—but the damage is
done. Celia is humiliated and excluded.
Another form of social bullying has emerged with the
Internet: cyberbullying. Cyberbullying is when a person is
harassed, humiliated, threatened, or tormented by people
using the Internet and other interactive technologies such as
cell phones. It includes sending multiple insulting or threat-
ening messages to a person’s e-mail address or cell phone,
creating a Web page for the purpose of humiliating a person,
and sharing someone’s secrets on public message boards
or Web sites. Cyberbullying is an especially powerful form
of bullying because it reaches many people at one time and

because it can often be done anonymously.
A common myth about bullying is that only boys bully. In
fact, both boys and girls bully. Boys tend to use direct forms
of bullying, while girls tend to use indirect bullying. Accord-
ing to Olweus, boys tend to target both boys and girls, while
girls tend to bully other girls.
Bullying is quite common. A 2001 survey of students
in grades 6–10, funded by the Institute of Child Health and
Human Development, found that more than 16 percent of stu-
dents report having been bullied. Howard Spivak, professor
of pediatrics and community health at Tufts University, esti-
mates that a quarter to one-third of U.S. students are involved
in bullying, either as a victim or a bully.
HOW BULLYING HURTS VICTIMS

Anyone who has ever been teased, forced to hand over money,
or excluded by a group of friends knows how painful bullying
is. Many kids get over being bullied— especially if they have
the support of family, teachers, and friends. Yet, for many
people, bullying can have serious negative effects—both in
the short term and the long term.
Bullying can affect how students do in school. Kids who
are being bullied regularly may become afraid to go to school.
According to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Ser-
vices, as many as 160,000 kids stay home from school each
day because of fear of being bullied. A 2003 survey by the
Department of Health and Human Services also found that
5.4 percent of high school students felt unsafe at school or
on the way to or from school at least one day in the month
before they were surveyed.
Researchers believe that bullying victims may be so
stressed out and distracted by bullying that they lose inter-
est in schoolwork. Many victims talk about how being
bullied affected their involvement with school. A bullying
victim named Hannah reported on the Web site Bully B’ware
Bullying Hurts 19
SUICIDE ALERT
ometimes getting bullied can
S cause such extreme depres-
sion that a victim considers—or
even attempts—suicide. For exam-
ple, in 2006, 13-year-old Megan
Meier committed suicide after
an online bully told her the world
would be a better place without
her. Megan had been teased in
school about her weight, and she
suffered from depression. She
met a boy named Josh Evans on
the social networking Web site
MySpace.
At first Megan thought Josh
was her friend, but things sud-
denly changed when Josh wrote
to Megan, “I don’t like the way
you treat your friends, and I don’t Tina Meier holds pictures of her
know if I want to be friends with 13-year-old daughter, Megan, who
you.” The next day, other stu- committed suicide as a result of
dents began sending Megan hate- cyberbullying. In her daughter’s
memory, Meier continues to fight
ful messages, and Josh wrote to
for laws against cyberbullying.
her, “The world would be a better
place without you.” Megan com-
mitted suicide shortly after reading
this message. Sadly, Megan’s parents later learned that “Josh” was actu-
ally the mother of a former friend of Megan’s (along with an 18-year-old
friend) who was trying to find out how Megan felt about her daughter.
Suicide is never an answer to a problem. It not only cuts a life short
but it also deeply hurts those left behind—parents, siblings, relatives,
(continues)
(continued)
friends, teachers, and classmates. No matter how bad a person may

feel, there is always a better way to deal with problems. If you or some-
one you know has had thoughts of suicide, it’s important to talk to a
trusted adult immediately. Some warning signs include:
> Talking about suicide

> Thinking or talking a lot about death and dying
> Withdrawing from family and friends
> Giving away belongings
> Saying good-bye to people as if they won’t be seen again
Always take these warning signs seriously. It’s better to be safe than
sorry.
Productions (www.bullybeware.com) that her experience

being bullied led her to avoid school and eventually drop
out. “After a while it all got on top of me and I avoided school
altogether. I made myself ill and never did return back to
school,” Hannah wrote.
Being bullied can also make social problems worse. Kids
who are bullied might have trouble trusting others and devel-
oping strong friendships. That’s why strong friendships are an
important protector against bullies. Victims of bullies often
are isolated at school and even stop spending time with their
families. Bullying expert Dan Olweus and other researchers
have found that teens who are bullied may become aggres-
sive themselves or make the mistake of turning to alcohol or
other drugs to help them cope.
The stress of being bullied can even lead to physical prob-
lems. Stress is the body’s response to a threat— often called
the “fight or flight” response. When faced with a threat, a
person’s body goes into high gear. His or her brain actually
sends out a kind of alarm that tells the body to release the
Bullying Hurts 21
hormones adrenaline and cortisol. These hormones help

give the body the energy needed to deal with a threat, but
they can also have negative effects if a person has too much
stress. When a person is bullied over and over for a long time,
The stress of being a bully’s target takes its toll in numerous ways.
the stress can lead to a range of physical symptoms, such as

stomachaches, headaches, trouble sleeping, and loss of appe-
tite. Stress can also trigger asthma attacks and even make
acne worse. And it even affects the immune system, which
helps the body to fight disease. That’s why some people who
are bullied may get sick more often.
Most victims of bullying overcome the stress and other
problems it causes once the bullying ends. But some—
especially those who deal with bullying over a long period of
time— end up with lasting mental health problems that affect
their lives into adulthood.
One serious mental health problem bullying can lead
to is depression. Depression is a serious mental illness. It
involves lasting sadness, hopelessness, and despair. People
with depression often feel worthless and have trouble believ-
ing that things will get better in the future. They often feel
tired and lack the energy and spirit to do normal activities.
Because of this, depression can affect every part of a person’s
life. If depression follows a victim of bullying into adulthood,
it can affect his or her ability to succeed in a career and have
healthy relationships.
The constant stress and fear caused by long-term bully-
ing can also lead to another mental health problem: anxi-
ety disorders. Anxiety disorders include general feelings of
uneasiness, panic attacks, phobias (extreme fears of certain
things), and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Anxiety
disorders can affect a person’s life in many ways, ranging
from sleeping problems and moodiness to living in a constant
state of fear and avoiding certain places or activities. Like
depression, anxiety can make it harder to succeed at work
and in relationships.
BULLYING HURTS KIDS THAT BULLY

It may seem like the people who bully others are immune
from harm. Kids that bully are often considered popular
among their classmates. In fact, a 2000 study by Philip Rodkin
found that elementary school boys who are very aggressive
Bullying Hurts 23
may be some of the most popular kids in elementary school

classrooms. Because of their bullying behavior, they seem
powerful and in control. Yet, bullying can lead to problems
for these kids, too.
Even though bullies may seem popular in school, many
bullies have trouble trusting others and getting truly close to
people—and, as a result, they have few lasting friendships.
According to research by The Nemours Foundation’s Center
for Children’s Health Media, even when bullies are popular
in middle school, that popularity may begin to drop in high
school if they continue to bully. Kids who continue bully-
ing into high school tend to hang out only with other bul-
lies. According to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health
In 2008, seven teens from Bartow, Florida, were charged in the vicious
beating of another student. The attackers posted a video of the beating
on the popular Web site, YouTube, which helped law enforcement officials
identify them. Above, three of the defendants sit in a holding room hiding
their faces while waiting to make their individual appearances in court.
Services Administration (SAMHSA), some even get involved

in gang activity. Bullies are also more likely to skip school
and get into other sorts of trouble, such as vandalism, fight-
ing, and using alcohol and other drugs.
Kids who bully are also more likely to be involved in violent
crime as they get older. According to a study by bullying expert
Dan Olweus, by age 24, 60 percent of kids who bullied others
in school have been convicted of at least one crime. In general,
childhood bullies are at greater risk of drug and alcohol abuse,
criminal activity, and mental health problems as adults.
If bullies don’t learn how to form positive relationships,
they may continue to bully others as they get older. They may
bully their coworkers, their friends, their partners, and even
their own children. Remember the lasting effects bullying can
have on victims, and you can see how bullying can become
a vicious cycle of hurt if the bully doesn’t learn how to treat
people with respect.
WHAT ABOUT EVERYONE ELSE?

The effects of bullying don’t stop with the victims and the
bullies. When bullying is tolerated, it affects everyone. Bul-
lying creates an atmosphere where fear and aggression rule
instead of safety and respect. Bystanders—students who wit-
ness bullying—may fear walking to and from school or being
alone in certain hallways just as much as direct victims of
bullying do.
School is a place to learn, make friends, and grow up.
Bullying makes it hard for everyone to accomplish these
goals. Fortunately, while bullying may be a fact of life, the
facts can change. Learning how to deal with—and put a stop
to—bullying can help prevent these problems.
UNDERSTANDING 2
BULLIES
“I know it sounds horrible, but seeing her
cry like that made me feel good. I don’t know
why, it was like ﬁnding a new power.”
—Quoted from “Nicky” on the BBC’s Real Life Stories
“My Bullying Nearly Killed Her”
O
ne national survey found that 13 percent of students
in grades 6–10 had bullied others and 6 percent had
been both a bully and a victim at some point in time.
So, who are these students that bully others? Why would
anyone purposely try to hurt someone else, as bullies seem
to do?
It was once thought that bullies are really insecure
underneath and have low self-esteem (don’t feel good about
themselves) that they are trying to cover up by bullying oth-
ers. However, research shows that the opposite may be true.
Researcher Dan Olweus found that bullies tend to have very
little anxiety, are quite secure, and have positive self-esteem.
In other words, bullies are usually confident and feel good
about themselves. As discussed previously, bullies tend to be
fairly popular in school. According to Olweus, many bullies
have a group of two or three friends who support the bully-
ing behavior.
25
There are specific needs that drive a bully’s behavior.

Olweus identified three important factors that motivate a
bully:
> A need to feel powerful and control others

> Bad experiences at home that lead to the bully
wanting to hurt others
> The potential benefit of getting someone’s money or
making him or her do something
The need to feel powerful may be the most important fac-

tor in understanding why kids bully others, because it directly
drives bullying behavior. That need is the reason bullies tend
to pick on targets who are less likely to fight back and more
likely to get upset and be hurt by the bully’s actions. They
may target kids who are physically smaller than they are, who
dress differently or look different in some other way, or who
simply have few friends who will stick up for them. When the
victim shows that he or she is scared or upset by the bullying,
the bully then gets satisfaction out of the victim’s reaction
and continues to target that victim.
Research shows that bullies often come from families
that show little warmth and affection for each other. Their
parents may use harsh, sometimes physical, discipline. This
teaches young people that it’s okay to treat others in this
same way. Bullies also report not feeling close to their sib-
lings. All of these factors may contribute to a bully’s lack of
empathy for others—they don’t think about or understand
how others feel.
Kids who bully tend to be impulsive and get frustrated
and angry easily. Bullies may also have a hard time follow-
ing the rules and see violence as a good thing. Many bullies
learn these values and behaviors at home. Children who
live in an angry or violent atmosphere at home are likely to
display these same behaviors at school. Troy, a former bully
interviewed by writer Donna Smith for iParenting.com, says
Understanding Bullies 27
his father was very tough and he had two older brothers who
“terrorized” him. He admits that because he wasn’t treated
with respect at home, he brought those feelings to school and
bullied his peers, whom he saw as “weak” or less powerful.
According to a 1995 Psychology Today article by Hara
Estroff Marano, many bullies have a kind of paranoia that
leads them to assume that others have hostile intentions
even when they do not. For example, if someone bumps into
a bully accidentally and causes him to drop a book, the bully
will assume this was done on purpose and be ready to fight.
Marano asserts that paranoid bullies “ . . . act aggressively
because they process social information incorrectly. They
endorse revenge.”
Researchers have found that many bullies have parents
who don’t give them proper guidance for positive behavior.
This can be through lack of supervision or methods of dis-
cipline that are either too permissive, too harsh, or simply
not consistent. Researcher Gerald Patterson spent more than
20 years observing parent-child interactions and concluded
that children can become bullies when their parents don’t
consistently respond when they disobey. The parents may
ignore the behavior and then, at an unexpected time, lash
out harshly at the child. According to Patterson, this pattern
actually rewards children for being defiant.
Some kids who bully get little supervision from adults at
home. Without that supervision, they may not learn what
kind of behavior is acceptable and what is not. Some kids do
have a parent around most of the time, but their parents don’t
discipline aggressive behavior. For example, if a four-year-old
pushes his younger sister and the parent doesn’t give a clear
message that pushing is not okay, the child may grow up
thinking that fighting, teasing, and trying to dominate others
is okay.
Another important factor that may encourage the bully is
peer acceptance. Troy bullied because “it was the cool thing
to do” and his peers seemed to look up to him as a powerful
figure in and around school. If other kids don’t support bully-

ing behavior, bullying very likely would not continue.
Research suggests this view may be enforced by a larger
cultural view that being powerful is good and desirable, even
if it means hurting others to get there. Television shows, mov-
ies, and video games that make entertainment out of humiliat-
ing and hurting others may also contribute to the acceptability
of bullying behavior in schools.
REACTIVE BULLIES
Some kids that bully do so in response to getting bullied
themselves. Researchers call these kids “reactive bullies.”
Some reactive bullies actually taunt and provoke their tor-
menters. According to David Perry, professor of psychology
CAN POWER BE POSITIVE?

ullies want to feel powerful, and that’s not necessarily a bad thing.
B It’s the way bullies seek and use power—by hurting others—that’s
bad and eventually leads to problems for them as well as their victims.
Young people with positive social skills and that same desire for power
are among the most popular and well-liked kids in school.
Some experts suggest that one way to help bullies turn their behav-
ior around is to teach them positive ways to channel their energy and
desire for power. For example, a child who is bullying others may be
able to get that same feeling of power by taking on special responsibili-
ties in the classroom or at home. Reformed bullies can even become
effective anti-bullying spokespeople in school, get involved in peer
conflict resolution, and make other positive contributions. For example,
at Mineola High School in New York, the club Increase the Peace has
several members who are former bullies. These students received spe-
cial training to visit elementary and middle schools and teach younger
students about accepting differences, reducing prejudice, and prevent-
ing bullying.
at Florida Atlantic University, these kids get angry and upset

easily and are both easily provoked and provoke others. When
a reactive bully has a conflict with another kid, he or she can
quickly become aggressive. Similar to the paranoia described
earlier, these bullies assume they are being provoked, even
when they are not.
Some victims of bullying react by bullying others. For
example, Caleb was picked on in elementary and middle
school because he was smaller than other boys his age. On
the bus, at school, and on the playground, a group of boys
would call him names such as “shrimp” and “short stuff”
and push him around and even punch him. “It made me feel
threatened to the point that I didn’t want to go to school,”
said Caleb in an interview with the author (interviewee’s
name has been changed to protect anonymity). But eventu-
ally, Caleb’s frustration with being bullied at school found
an outlet. At a summer recreation program, Caleb became
friends with another boy, and they began picking on some
of the younger kids. “I was really the sidekick, but it made
me feel more powerful to turn around and pick on other kids
when I had always been the one to be picked on,” he said.
Eventually, Caleb realized that it was no fun to be on either
side of bullying. He later made friends with those kids he had
bullied that summer.
WHAT ABOUT RELATIONAL BULLYING?

Most of the research about what makes bullies tick has been
focused on the direct bullying in which boys typically engage.
Less is understood about the roots of the indirect or relational
bullying that is usually perpetrated by girls. Relational bully-
ing is aggression, just like direct bullying, but it’s a different
kind of aggression. Relational bullies use their social status to
control relationships, exclude others, and try to influence how
other people act. Relational bullying is different than direct
bullying because it is very hard for adults to detect. But it can
also be more emotionally harmful than direct bullying.
Most researchers believe that the home lives of kids who

become direct bullies do not necessarily mirror the home
lives of the kids who become indirect bullies. However, girls’
relationship with their parents may contribute to their bully-
ing behavior, but in a different way from how parents of direct
bullies do. Psychologist and expert on relational aggression
Nicki Crick, Ph.D., has studied relational aggression in girls
for more than 20 years. Her research has found that some
girls who are indirect bullies may have parents who are very
BULLYING IN THE COURTS

ncreasingly, bullying behavior is not tolerated, and some bullies have
I even faced severe consequences for the way they treat their peers.
Bullies might get kicked out school and even have restraining orders—
an order from a judge to stay away from a certain person—placed
against them. Here are some examples of the consequences some
bullies have faced:
> In 2004, three Seattle, Washington, kids who beat up one

of their classmates were expelled from school. The victim’s
parents also sued the school for failing to protect their child.
> A Warren, Pennsylvania, student spent two days in jail for
severely bullying his wrestling teammate.
> In 2004, a 14-year-old girl in Scotland obtained a restraining
order against a bully at her school.
Bullies aren’t the only ones who face consequences. Many students
and parents have sued their schools—and even individual teachers or
coaches—for failing to protect children from bullying. That’s because
bullying is increasingly seen as a community problem and not just
between the bully and the victim. In other words, schools are consid-
ered responsible for keeping students safe—not just from fire and crime
but from bullies, too.
jealous and possessive of their children. Crick has also found

that these girls are often the family peacemaker; that is, they
have the role of keeping the peace when their parents fight.
Crick suggests that these findings show that girls who are
indirect bullies may learn at home that they have a high level
of control over relationships. They use this feeling of power to
control relationships among their peers. Crick’s research also
suggests that relational bullies may behave as they do simply
because they think they need to in order to keep friendships
and to avoid being excluded themselves.
HELP FOR BULLIES

Help is available for bullies. Once adults identify a child who
is bullying, they can also start to address some of the issues
that child might be facing at home that could be leading to
the inappropriate behavior. Bullies need to have consistent
consequences for their behavior to show them that treating
other kids in a mean way is not acceptable.
Kids who bully can also learn how to interact with their
peers in a positive way and build true friendships. One way
adults can help bullies is by helping them build empathy
for others—in other words, by helping them learn to think
about how other people feel. When a person has the ability
to understand the feelings of others, he or she is less likely to
do something to intentionally hurt another person.
Some experts suggest that bullies receive structured
counseling and/or education to help them learn empathy as
well as taking responsibility for their actions. In some cases,
families can also be involved and parents can be shown how
they can create a warm, loving home life with consistent
expectations for their children.
Most important, giving bullies a clear message that treat-
ing others badly is not okay can help stop bullying before it
gets bad. This message needs to come from parents, teach-
ers, bus drivers, coaches, and other kids.
3 UNDERSTANDING
VICTIMS
“Because of one person, no one talked to
me. I became depressed and put myself into
isolation. I felt like I was becoming what
they said . . . that I was ugly.”
—Jade, a victim of indirect bullying, quoted in
“Crackdown on schoolgirl bullying epidemic,”
in The Observer, January 20, 2008
R
esearch by Arizona State University psychology professor
Gary Ladd shows that, at the beginning of each school
year, close to a quarter of all children are victimized by
bullies. But, by the end of the school year, only 8 percent of stu-
dents are regularly bullied. Ladd calls this a “shopping process”:
Before students know each other well, bullies “shop around” for
people that make satisfying targets.
How does this “shopping process” work? Why do certain
kids seem to get consistently targeted by bullies throughout
their school years? Researchers have identified a variety of
factors that explain why some kids become victims of bullies
and some don’t.
WHY SOME KIDS ARE SINGLED OUT:

EXTERNAL CHARACTERISTICS
Many victims of bullying are first singled out because they
look or behave “differently” in some way. Some kids are
32
Understanding Victims 33
picked on because of their size. They may be younger or

physically smaller than most of the other kids— or they may
be bigger, taller, or overweight. For example, former U.S.
As a young boy, multiracial golf star Tiger Woods was

bullied because of his skin color. Above, Woods at age
fi ve plays golf with his father, Earl, who introduced him
to the sport.
President Bill Clinton was bullied as a child because he was

overweight. TV host and model Tyra Banks was teased in
school because she was so tall and skinny.
Some kids are targeted because they have a different
ethnic, religious, or cultural background than most of the
kids in school or the neighborhood. For example, golf star
Tiger Woods was bullied because of his skin color. Woods
has a mixed racial background including African-American,
Asian, American Indian, and Caucasian ancestors. On his
first day of kindergarten, some older boys tied him to a tree
and mocked him with racial insults.
Some kids are targeted because they have a special ability
or talent that sets them apart. For example, famous singer-
songwriter Christina Aguilera was winning talent shows
from a very young age. Jealous of her success, her classmates
began lashing out at her. She was teased, excluded, and even
physically attacked. The bullying got so bad that her family
moved to a new neighborhood to get away from it. But you
don’t have to be a famous performer to get bullied. Some kids
may be picked on simply for being good students and making
good grades.
Other kids are picked on because they’re not good at
something. Ladd found that some bullying victims aren’t
singled out until well into the school year. He suggests that
something is revealed about these kids in the classroom
that attracts bullies. “Something increases their likelihood of
being picked on—probably, vulnerabilities in a class environ-
ment. Maybe they don’t do well in gym, or fumble a reading
task,” Ladd told Psychology Today in 1995.
WHY SOME KIDS BECOME REPEAT VICTIMS:

INTERNAL CHARACTERISTICS
Experts agree that most victims of bullying share some com-
mon internal characteristics that help explain why bullies not
only single them out the first time—but continue to target
them over time.
Passive Personalities
Researchers have found that children who are bullied tend
to be passive or submissive in social situations. This means
that they don’t stand up for themselves even when they are
not being confronted by a bully. Child psychologist David
Schwartz observed children while they were playing. He
identified certain children who were passive and submissive.
They didn’t reach out to others or try to start conversations.
When playing with others, they didn’t make any demands,
requests, or suggestions. For the most part, these children
played by themselves rather than with other children.
Schwartz found that these submissive children were the
same ones who were eventually targeted by bullies. Their
submissive behavior, Schwartz told Psychology Today, “seems
to mark these kids for later victimization.” In other words,
bullies see them as easy targets. Remember that bullies are
looking to feel powerful and to dominate others, so a submis-
sive peer is a more likely target than one who tends to stand
up for him- or herself.
Social Isolation
Typically, victims of bullying are anxious or nervous and inse-
cure. They may also be cautious, shy, and quiet. Researchers
have found that bullying victims often have low self-esteem.
Perhaps because of their shyness, they tend to have few
friends.
Unfortunately, their isolation makes them even more likely
to be picked on by bullies. Bullies tend to single out kids who
don’t have friends who will defend them.
Getting bullied also sets up a vicious cycle of loneliness
for victims. Once a young person is known to be a victim of
bullying, peers tend to keep their distance. At the same time,
the victim may feel ashamed of the way he or she is being
treated by the bully, and his or her self-esteem may suffer
even more. According to researcher Dan Olweus, victims of
bullying often feel “like failures and feel stupid, ashamed,
and unattractive.” As a result, they may be even more reluc-

tant to participate in after-school activities or try to make
friends. As previously noted, many victims are afraid to go
to school at all. Unfortunately, withdrawing from others only
continues the cycle of loneliness—and bullying.
Passive Response to Bullying

Bullies may pick on many kids in the beginning of the school
year, but only an unlucky few continue to be bullied through-
out the year. What is it about those remaining few that encour-
age the bully to keep harassing them? Many experts say that it
has a lot to do with how certain kids respond to bullying.
There are three ways people can respond in a conflict.
Responding assertively means standing up for yourself
without hurting the other person. For example, a child who
responds assertively to a bully may simply say, “Leave me
alone!” and walk away. Responding aggressively means
standing up for yourself in a way that hurts the other person
(by accusing or insulting the person or by using violence.) A
person responding aggressively to a bully may hurl insults
back at the bully or try to fight back physically. Responding
passively means not standing up for yourself at all. Someone
who responds passively to bullying may cry or hand over
what the bully asks for.
Most victims of bullying respond to bullies in a passive
way. They don’t stand up to the bully or try to fight back. Or
they may cry and run away— or give in to the bully’s demands.
For example, they may hand over their money or other pos-
sessions if a bully demands it. Unfortunately, responding to a
bully in this passive or submissive way only invites the bully
to continue to pick on these victims.
Provocative Victims
Some victims of bullying don’t fit the profile of the shy, inse-
cure child. Researchers have found that there is another
type of victim who may behave in certain ways that provoke
FAMOUS PEOPLE WHO WERE BULLIED

AS CHILDREN
n addition to Bill Clinton, Tyra
I Banks, Tiger Woods, and Christina
Aguilera, many other famous people
were bullied as children. Here are
some examples:
> Singer and actress Demi

Lovato left public school to
avoid bullying. “Girls were just
really vicious,” said Lovato. “It
was a lot of verbal abuse.”
> Actor Christian Bale has
beaten up plenty of bad guys
as Batman in the movies,
but he was severely bullied
as a child. “I took a beating
from several boys for years,” Bullying encouraged the fam-
ily of singer and actress Demi
recalled Bale. “They put me
Lovato, shown in 2008, to take
through hell, punching and
her out of public school. She’s
kicking me all the time.”
finishing up her high school
> Singer and actress Whitney studies with the help of a tutor.
Houston remembers being
teased about her looks.
> Actor Tom Cruise was a lonely
kid with few friends. He also had a learning disability. His fam-
ily moved around a lot, so he was always the new kid, and
he remembers being bullied at every school he attended. “So
many times the big bully [came] up and push[ed] me. . . . I’m
not the biggest guy,” said Cruise.
(continues)
(continued)
> Actress Michelle Pfeiffer remembers running home from

school crying because she was teased about her looks.
> Actress Kate Winslet was shy and overweight as a child. She
says she endured teasing for two years before the bullying
stopped.
All of these former victims of bullying managed to overcome these

experiences and lead successful lives.
a bully. Some of these kids may have learning disabilities,

such as attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), that
cause them to have trouble concentrating in school and act
impulsively, meaning they speak without thinking about the
consequences and have strong reactions.
Often, the provocative victim behaves in ways that not
only provoke or encourage bullies but also irritate other peers
and even teachers. As a result, these victims, while they may
seem more outgoing, are still socially isolated. Like pas-
sive victims, provocative victims are easy targets for bullies
because others are not likely to stand up for them.
Katrina is 10, and she has ADHD. Because of her learning
disability, Katrina (whose name has been changed to pro-
tect her anonymity) has many behaviors that have provoked
bullying. For example, Katrina struggles with social skills.
Although she has been taught proper behavior by her par-
ents and therapists, she has a hard time remembering how
she should act in certain situations. Katrina says she has “all
these thoughts in my head” that she can’t shut off or tune out.
This makes it hard for her to concentrate and remember how
to act. She often stands too close to others and makes them
uncomfortable. She has exaggerated reactions to things—
something that makes other kids giggle may make Katrina
roll on the floor laughing hysterically. Kids often pick on her

when she eats because she holds her fork “like a shovel”
and chews and talks with her mouth open. Katrina has been
taught table manners, and she doesn’t mean to act this way,
but her learning disability makes it hard for her to remember
to act that way in the moment. This makes her irritating to
her classmates and an easy target for bullies.
According to a national survey on school discipline con-
ducted by Children and Adults with Attention-Deficit/Hyper-
activity Disorder (CHADD), 32 percent of kids with ADHD are
actually encouraged by their peers to act in disruptive ways
that will get them in trouble. Many adults assume that chil-
dren with ADHD are bullies because they behave in aggres-
sive or disruptive ways. Yet, in the same study by CHADD,
researchers found that these students were often victims of
bullies first and reacted in an aggressive way. So although
they were not truly bullies, they got into trouble because of
the way they reacted to being bullied.
TERESA’S STORY
eresa* was a victim of indirect bullying. When she was in school, the
T girls who sat at the “popular” table used to stare at her and point
and laugh at her during lunch. “So much so that I usually couldn’t eat,”
says Teresa, who was interviewed by the author.
The teasing and excluding went on for the entire school year. “I
never did anything to deserve the teasing,” she said. “I was shy. My
mom dressed me in clothes that were different from what other kids
wore. I wanted desperately to fit in, but just didn’t know how. I didn’t
understand what I was doing wrong. I didn’t have the self-esteem to
fight back.”
Because of the ongoing teasing, Teresa’s parents withdrew her from
school and enrolled her in a private school the following year.
*Teresa’s name has been changed to protect her anonymity.
If victims act passively or behave in ways that seem to

“invite” bullies to pick on them, does that mean that bullying
is their fault? Of course not, but many victims blame them-
selves. If a person is shy, passive, or has few friends, it doesn’t
mean he or she has done something wrong. The bully is hurt-
ing other people—and that is wrong. However, if a person is
being bullied, he or she can learn positive social skills that
will provide some protection from bullying.
HELP FOR VICTIMS

Like bullies, victims may have underlying problems that can
be addressed to help them overcome the pain of being bullied.
They can learn how to act more assertively and confidently
in general, so that bullies don’t see them as easy targets.
Sometimes, therapy or counseling can help with the feelings
of anxiety, insecurity, and low self-esteem that may lead to
bullying and are made worse by bullying. Most important, all
young people should feel confident that their peers, teachers,
and parents will not tolerate bullying. No one should feel that
they “deserve” to be bullied or that they are not worth others
sticking up for them. A positive community can go a long way
in preventing and defusing bullying.
DEALING WITH 4
BULLYING
“When a resolute young fellow steps up to
the great bully—the world—and takes him
boldly by the beard, he is often surprised
to ﬁnd it comes off in his hand, and that it
was only tied on to scare away the timid
adventurers.”
—Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882), poet and essayist
W
hen young people are faced with bullying, they often
feel helpless—as if there is nothing they can do to
stop the bullying. Many victims of bullying try to
give in to a bully’s demands in hopes that the bully will leave
them alone. But this cooperation only encourages the bully.
Yet, there are things you can do to stop bullying— even before
it starts.
BE CONFIDENT
Bullies tend to single out kids who seem unsure of them-
selves. Therefore, one of the most effective ways to ward off a
bully is to act confident. If a bully sees that it’s easy to make a
person feel bad, he or she will keep trying because that’s the
result bullies are after. But if a target communicates—through
words, actions, and body language—that the bully can’t hurt
him or her, often the bully will back off.
41
One way to showcase your confidence is through body lan-

guage. With proper body language, others can often tell how
you feel by the way you stand and walk, as well as by your
facial expressions and what you do with your hands. A person
who feels confident walks with his or her head held high and
back straight. Confident people also make more eye contact
with others and keep their hands away from their faces.
On the other hand, people who are unsure of themselves
may walk with their shoulders hunched and look down at the
ground to avoid making eye contact with others. They may
cover their mouth with their hands or seem to fidget a lot,
as if they don’t know what to do with their hands. This body
language communicates the opposite of confidence—and can
even communicate fear. This is exactly the kind of body lan-
guage that invites a bully’s attention.
The best way to communicate confidence is to build
self-esteem so that you actually feel confident. Positive self-
esteem is important for everyone to have. A person with good
self-esteem feels that he or she is worth caring about and
deserves respect. Self-esteem gives you the confidence to try
new things and make good decisions. When you have posi-
tive self-esteem, a bully’s insults bother you less because you
have enough confidence in yourself to know that what the
bully says doesn’t matter. Good self-esteem also gives you
the confidence to deal with bullying without fear.
Good self-esteem can come from many sources. When
family members, teachers, and coaches help you accomplish
a goal, encourage you to keep trying when you’re faced with
a challenge, or point out your strengths, this can all boost
your self-esteem. You can also play a hand in boosting your
own self-esteem. Here are some ways to do that:
> Know your strengths. Everyone is good at some-

thing. Write down everything you’re good at. It may
be playing tennis, taking photographs, or baking
cookies.
Dealing with Bullying 43
> Challenge yourself. Think of some things you’d

like to learn how to do. Then, make a plan with your
parents for tackling these goals. You’ll feel great
when you accomplish them.
> Compliment yourself. Each day, notice when you
did something well and give yourself a pat on the
back.
> Develop positive body image. Body image is how
you view your body. It’s easy to compare your size
and shape to others and decide that you’re not “per-
fect.” But the truth is, the “perfect” body is something
that isn’t real. If you feel good and your health-care
provider thinks you’re healthy, that’s all you should
worry about. Appreciate your unique looks, shape,
and size and try not to compare yourself to others.
> Be alert for negative thoughts. It’s easy to let
negative thoughts creep into your head, telling you
you’re not good enough and making you feel low.
Be alert for these self-esteem killers and turn your
negative thoughts into positive ones. For example,
if you catch yourself thinking “I knew I wouldn’t get
an A on that test. I’m stupid,” stop yourself and turn
the thought into a positive one: “I worked really hard
and I pulled my grade up from last time. Next time,
I’ll try to do even better.”
GET INVOLVED
A great way to build confidence and meet other kids who you
may have things in common with is by joining a school or
community group. Find out what activities are offered at your
school by checking the school Web site or talking to a guid-
ance counselor. You can also find out about groups or activi-
ties outside of school, through a church or community center.
If you’re not sure what to join, think about your interests. For
example, you may find a group, club, or activity that focuses
on your interest in:
> Music—If you sing or play an instrument (or want

to learn), consider joining the school or community
choir or band. You can also find smaller groups
to join. Singers may like an a cappella group, and
musicians may connect well with a smaller jazz
ensemble. If there are no smaller groups, talk to the
chorus or bandleader about forming one.
> The outdoors—Some areas may have a hiking or
outing club that will let you explore the great out-
doors with others your age.
> Academics—Join your school’s science, math, or
literary club to meet up with others who love these
subjects and want to take their learning beyond the
classroom.
> Sports—Even if you’re not into team sports, you
may make great friends, have fun, and stay in
shape on the tennis court, the golf course, the
cross-country trail, or with other competitive sports
groups at your school.
You don’t have to join a club or a sport in order to get

involved and make friends. There are many other ways to
participate in school activities: volunteer to help decorate
the gym for the school dance, participate in cleaning up your
local park, help organize the student elections, write for your
school newspaper, help out with fund-raising for a class
trip—the possibilities are endless.
Even if you’re not usually a “joiner,” consider finding a
group that interests you, or start one yourself. In addition to
helping you make friends, spending time on something you
enjoy is rewarding and can build your confidence—another
important way to protect yourself against bullies.
FRIENDSHIP IS THE BEST PROTECTION

If bullying is a problem at your school—and especially if you’ve
had problems with a bully in the past—avoid being alone in
places where a bully may target you. Find at least one friend
that you can walk to and from school or the bus stop with,
eat lunch with, and hang out with on the playground. Even a
bully who has bothered you in the past may be less likely to
bug you if he or she can’t catch you alone. Plus, a good friend
can boost your self-esteem and remind you that you’re a lik-
able person who deserves respect.
Choose your friends carefully, however. Some kids may
seem to include you, but that doesn’t mean they are good
friendship candidates. For example, it may be tempting to
hang out with someone who invites you to skip school with
him or her. Or, you may feel happy to be included if a class-
mate shares a rumor with you about another kid. But kids
who pressure you to do things that hurt yourself or others are
not good friends. They don’t respect others—and eventually
they’ll show that they don’t respect you, either. Instead of try-
ing to fit in with the “cool” kids, seek out friends who share
your values and interests. Remember that a good friend will
never pressure you to do something you don’t want to do— or
purposely exclude you from a group.
A good place to start fi nding good friends is in the activi-
ties and clubs discussed earlier. Look for opportunities in
other places, too. Maybe you can ask a friend from science
class if he or she wants to have lunch. Or invite a new kid
to join your basketball game. Learn to be friendly and open-
minded—and you may find a great friend in an unexpected
place.
HOW TO HANDLE A BULLY

So far, you’ve read about ways you can protect yourself
from being bullied by building your self-esteem and making
friends. But what if a bully singles you out anyway? In this
section, you’ll learn what to do about being bullied.
First, stay calm. Try not to let the bully see you get upset.
This will only encourage the bully to continue because that’s
the reaction he or she wants. Try to stay calm instead of
crying or getting angry or flustered. This isn’t always easy in

the moment. Taking deep breaths and silently telling yourself,
“I can handle this” can help.
Be assertive. Remember, that means standing up for
yourself without fighting. You don’t want to make the bully
angry or cause the fight to escalate. You just want to stand
up for yourself and get the bully to leave you alone. This is
also where your confident body language is helpful. Hold your
head up and keep your back straight. Look the bully calmly
in the eye. Practice some simple one-liners, such as “Leave
me alone” or “Cut it out.” If you feel safe, use one of these
and then calmly walk away. But remember that your safety
is most important. If you’re afraid the bully may hurt you,
quickly move away from the bully and head to a place where
there are adults around.
Don’t start exchanging insults with a bully. This will
only lead to more insults and possibly physical fighting.
Ten-year- old Katrina, who has ADHD, deals with a lot of
bullying at her school. She says that when kids try to coun-
ter by teasing a bully back, this only causes the bullying
to continue. “They usually brush it off and tease you with
worse names. The only thing you can do is think of worse
names than they think of. Sometimes you win and some-
times not so much.” Remember, your goal is to make the
bullying stop. That’s the only true way to “win” in a bullying
situation. Try to come up with ways to respond to a bully
that won’t leave an opening for him or her to respond in a
worse way to you.
If you are bullied, be sure to tell an adult. If it’s important
to you, ask him or her to keep the conversation between
the two of you, but know that if you are in real danger, the
adult may feel a responsibility to help you. This person can
help you figure out what to do about the bullying. If the first
person you tell doesn’t think anything needs to be done and
you disagree, keep telling people until you find someone who
takes you seriously. Remember that it is your school’s job to
WHAT TO DO IF YOU ARE BULLIED ONLINE

f you are being bullied on the Internet, don’t respond to the harasser.
I If you can, block the person bullying you from sending you e-mails,
instant messages (IMs), and text messages. Be sure to save all evi-
dence of the bullying: Print out any e-mails, messages, or Web sites so
you can show an adult. Then tell a parent or another adult about the
problem. Nancy Willard, executive director of the Center for Safe and
Responsible Internet Use, suggests the following steps for dealing with
cyberbullying:
> Identify the bully, if you’re not sure who it is. Contact your
Internet service provider to see if they can help you track
down the source of the e-mails and IMs.
> Contact the school if the bullying is being done by a fellow
student or through school computer systems.
> File a complaint with the cyberbully’s Internet service provider,
cell phone provider, or Web host. Cyberbullying is against the
terms of use of most of these service providers.
> Contact the bully’s parents. Often the parents have no idea
what their child is up to. Willard suggests sending the parents
a letter describing the problem, with copies of all e-mails or
other evidence of the bullying.
> Take legal action. In some cases, your parents may want to
have an attorney send a letter to the bully’s parents or even
file a lawsuit to put a stop to the cyberbullying. In cases
where cyberbullying crosses the line to criminal activity (for
example, if you are threatened with violence), the police may
need to get involved.
Take steps to protect yourself from cyberbullying and other Internet

crimes. Don’t give out personal information—such as your full name,
address, or phone number—on public Internet sites. If anything you
see or read online makes you uncomfortable, tell a parent or another
trusted adult.
protect all students from bullying and other harm. If bully-

ing is allowed to continue, it hurts you, the bully, and others
around you.
Many students are afraid to tell on a bully for fear of
being called a “tattletale” and making the bullying problem
worse. Yet, keeping silent about bullying only sends the mes-
sage that bullying is okay. Many schools today have special
rules and programs in place to deal with bullying, and adults
know effective ways of handling it. Don’t be afraid to tell on
a bully—no one should have to put up with being treated
badly.
Once you tell a parent or another adult, a number of
things may happen to deal with the problem. Your parent
may meet with you teacher(s), school counselor, and other
school officials. Sometimes, your parent may talk directly to
the bully’s parents. Often, you will have a meeting at school
with your parents, the school counselor, and the bully and
his or her parents. The consequences for the bully depend on
the situation and the school’s policies. The important thing
is that the bully gets the message that bullying is not okay
and that he or she won’t get away with it any longer.
BYSTANDERS: DON’T JUST STAND BY

AND WATCH
When it comes to bullying, there is no such thing as an
innocent bystander. Students can either be a part of the solu-
tion and help put a stop to bullying in your school, or they
are part of the problem. In fact, bystanders can play a very
important role in either stopping a bully or encouraging him
or her to continue. One study by Hawkins, Pepler, and Craig
(2001) found that 57 percent of the time, when bystanders
step in and stand up for the victim, the bullying stops within
10 seconds.
Bullying usually happens away from adults—between
classes, on the playground, or after school. Often the only wit-
nesses are other kids, and much of the time, they stand by and
BULLYING AND THE LAW

ne result of adults taking bullying more seriously is that many
O states have passed anti-bullying legislation in recent years. Most
of these laws require schools to have a policy against bullying in place.
Many of them also require or encourage schools to have a bullying
prevention program in place. That means they must take steps to
stop bullying from happening before it becomes a problem. Anti-
bullying legislation also covers issues such as discipline requirements
(continues)
Arlington High School assistant principal Jennifer Young holds

a collection of confiscated cell phones in September 2007.
After students at the Texas school were caught bullying in
text messages, the school began a policy of banning students’
cell phones on campus. If students are caught using them, the
phones are held and can only be returned after students pay
a $15 penalty.
(continued)
for students who bully and who is required to report bullying to

authorities.
Anti-bullying laws are not without controversy. The organization
National School Safety and Security Services (www.schoolsecurity.
org) argues that laws specifically addressing bullying are not nec-
essary since bullying behavior is already covered by school safety
and antiharassment laws already in place. Others say that many
anti- bullying laws don’t go far enough in protecting students from
bullying. The watchdog group Bully Police USA keeps tabs on state
anti- bullying laws and grades them A–F. To find out if your state has
a law against bullying and whether it makes the grade, check out
www.bullypolice.org.
watch the bullying without doing anything. They may not like
it, but they usually don’t do anything to stop the bully or help
the victim. They either don’t know what to do or are afraid
that if they defend the victim, they’ll be targeted by the bully
next. Yet bullying affects bystanders, too. Passively watching
bullying can make students feel helpless and even guilty. It
can also make students feel unsafe and worried that they’ll
be a victim of the bully next. Taking steps to stop a bully, on
the other hand, not only helps the victim, it helps you and all
of you classmates feel safe. It can also make you feel great to
realize that you are not powerless against the school bullies.
Some bystanders don’t stand passively by; they actively
encourage the bullying. In cases of direct bullying, they may
do this by cheering the bully on, laughing, or even adding
taunts of their own. In cases of indirect bullying, not-so-
passive bystanders may help spread a rumor about someone
or join with the bully in excluding someone from a group.
Behavior like this not only helps the bully but it also crosses
the line toward bullying itself. Even if you didn’t initiate the
INJUSTICE IS EVERYONE’S PROBLEM

hether you are a passive or not-so-passive bystander, it can take
W courage to do something about bullying when you see it. You
may feel that since you are not being bullied, it’s not your problem and
so it’s not up to you to do anything about it. You may also be afraid of
appearing “weak” by standing up for a victim of bullying. But it takes
strength to go against the flow and stand up for what’s right—especially
when you’re doing it on behalf of someone else.
Consider all the white people who participated in the civil rights
movement alongside black Americans in the 1960s. Many of them put
their lives on the line standing up for what they believed was right. In
the summer of 1964, for example, hundreds of white civil rights work-
ers came to Mississippi to help with black voter registration. Although
blacks had the right to vote, the white supremacist group the Ku Klux
(continues)
During the civil rights movement, bullying and intimidation

sometimes turned deadly for people looking to aid blacks. In
June of 1964, Mississippian James Chaney, 21, and New Yorkers
Michael Schwerner and Andrew Goodman, 20 and 24, respec-
tively, worked to register black voters in Mississippi, against
the wishes of some locals. Members of the KKK, who opposed
their actions, beat them to death, in part, to bully others into
not doing the same thing.
(continued)
Klan (KKK) used brutal methods to stop them from exercising that
right. Three civil rights workers—James Chaney, Andrew Goodman, and
Michael Schwerner—were murdered by members of the KKK that sum-
mer. Do you think people like Chaney, Goodman, and Schwerner—and
the countless others who risked their safety to ensure that black Ameri-
cans had the freedom to vote—are remembered as weak for fighting for
the rights of the less powerful? Just the opposite; they are remembered
as brave and strong. They weren’t afraid to take a risk to stand up for
what’s right.
bullying, you are just as guilty as the bully if you participate in

this way. You may think that supporting a bully this way will
win you his or her friendship, protect you from getting bul-
lied, or make you popular. However, all you’re really doing is
perpetuating the bullying problem at your school—that hurts
you, your so-called friends, and the victims of bullying. Your
social life—and your future—will be better served by making
true friends and steering clear of the school bullies.
Once you gather the courage to help stop a bully, what
can you do? Sometimes it’s as simple as telling the bully
“Leave her alone.” If the bully is a friend of yours, it can be
particularly effective to just tell him or her to stop. When he
or she sees that you—and other students— don’t condone the
actions, the bully may just back off.
If you don’t feel it’s safe to say something to the bully, walk
away and find an adult. Tell the adult what’s going on and
ask him or her to come help. It may feel like “tattling,” but it’s
always okay to tell when someone is getting hurt. Remember
that bullying hurts on the inside even if the victim isn’t being
physically hurt on the outside. Telling an adult is always the
right thing to do.
Another great way to help out when you see bullying is

to be kind to the victim. Remember that kids who get bullied
often have few friends, and this makes them more likely to
get bullied. Approach the person being bullied. Ask if he or
she is okay. Befriending a victim of bullying can help protect
him or her from getting picked on again and give him or her
the confidence to stand up to bullies in the future.
If someone in your group of friends is indirectly bullying
someone by spreading rumors or excluding that person, don’t
go along with it. Tell the friend that his or her behavior is
not okay with you. Don’t help spread rumors. Again, make a
point to be kind to the person getting bullied. Often indirect
bullying can cause even deeper pain to the victim than direct
bullying. Be a friend to that person and let him or her know
you don’t believe the rumors being spread or that you don’t
agree with what the bully is doing.
Bystanders can also help by encouraging victims of bul-
lying to report the problem to an adult. Offer to go with the
person and share what you witnessed. Try to get other class-
mates who witnessed the bullying involved as well. Remem-
ber that stopping the bully helps everyone in your school
feel safe—including you. Bullying is not just the victim’s
problem—it’s a school’s and a community’s problem.
5 BULLYING IN
THE MEDIA
“If you came and you found a strange
man . . . teaching your kids to punch each
other, or trying to sell them all kinds of prod-
ucts, you’d kick him right out of the house,
but here you are; you come in and the TV is
on, and you don’t think twice about it.”
–Dr. Jerome L. Singer, Yale University
professor emeritus of psychology
O
bviously, bullying is not just a problem between the
bully and his or her target. Bystanders to bullying—
that is, other kids who witness bullying—have a big
influence on whether bullies are encouraged or discouraged.
Unfortunately, all too often, bullies are cheered on by their
peers with laughter, encouragement, or even silent accep-
tance. Why is it so easy for so many young people to accept
bullying as a part of their school experience—and even in
some cases find it amusing or entertaining to watch a peer
get bullied? Furthermore, why have the consequences of
bullying been largely ignored by adults for so long? In other
words, why is bullying largely accepted in our society as nor-
mal behavior?
One major influence on young people’s attitudes and
behavior is arts and entertainment directed at them:
54
Bullying in the Media 55
television, movies, music, and video games. Many research

studies have shown a link between violence on television and
violent and aggressive behavior in young people. According
to the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry,
even watching one violent show can increase a child’s ten-
dency to act in an aggressive way. Some research has shown
that when someone is angry or frustrated before watch-
ing violence on TV, or becomes angry or frustrated about
something immediately afterward, he or she is more likely to
behave in violent or aggressive ways.
The influence of violent TV can be even stronger than the
influence of a young person’s parents and other family mem-
bers. Research shows that watching violent TV shows can
increase a child’s violent behavior even when the atmosphere
at home is not violent or aggressive.
Television watching not only has an influence on violent
and aggressive behavior in general, but it has also been
linked directly to bullying. A 2005 study by researchers at the
University of Washington’s School of Public Health found that
preschoolers who watch a lot of television are more likely to
become bullies later on in life. During the study, researchers
found that the risk of becoming a bully in elementary school
increased with the number of hours of TV four-year-olds
watched per day. Those who were found to be bullies in grade
school had watched an average of five hours of TV per day.
Another study found that teens who watch more than one
hour of TV per day are more likely to be aggressive or violent
as adults. On the other hand, according to the organization
Common Sense Media, reducing the TV and video game time
of third- and fourth-graders to less than one hour per day can
decrease verbal and physical aggression by nearly one-half.
The University of Washington study did not consider what
shows the preschoolers watched, but the study’s author, Fred-
erick Zimmerman, told the Seattle Times, “Kids’ TV often has a
particularly bad kind of violence—the humorous kind.” Many
shows directed at families and children portray violent and
aggressive behavior as funny or entertaining. For example, in

the popular cartoon SpongeBob SquarePants, SpongeBob and
his friends often resort to physical violence to solve problems.
They also often speak rudely and tease one another. Yet, no
one seems affected by the violence or teasing.
Still, violence on TV is common. According to Common
Sense Media, two out of three TV shows contain violence.
The organization also reports that children who watch two
hours of cartoons a day may see 10,000 violent acts a year. In
SpongeBob SquarePants writer Stephen Hillenburg poses with the

title character, SpongeBob, in 2006. The popular cartoon often depicts
SpongeBob and his friends using physical violence to solve problems, as
well as teasing and insulting among characters. These actions are shown
as being humorous, which can have negative effects on impressionable
viewers.
fact, TV directed at children contains twice as many violent

acts than programming for adults. Put it all together, and it’s
easy to see how TV contributes to the problem of bullying
and aggression among young people.
Even TV shows that aren’t violent can promote aggressive
or simply mean behavior. For example, the audition phase of
American Idol, a popular reality/singing-competition show,
involves the judges dishing out harsh criticism and often
openly laughing at contestants who are untalented. While
we see the contestants’ initial reaction, we don’t see how the
harsh criticism and subsequent public ridicule affects them in
the long term. Other reality TV shows encourage contestants
to go behind each other’s backs and gang up on one another
in order to eliminate other players and get ahead.
On the TV show America’s Funniest Home Videos, view-
ers’ home movies are aired. Many of the videos show people
having various mishaps, such as falling off a bicycle, getting
hit with a baseball bat, or slipping. Encouraging children to
laugh at other people’s mishaps on TV may teach them to
laugh at the mishaps of real people—and these aren’t always
funny. For example, if a student trips and falls on the stairs,
many students may laugh and even make fun of the person.
While it may seem funny to others, the person could be hurt
and is probably embarrassed. A more appropriate response
would be to see if the person is okay first, and then perhaps
laugh it off with the person—not at him or her.
According to the American Academy of Child and Ado-
lescent Psychiatry, violence on TV can influence a child’s
attitude about violence in real life in a number of ways. First,
watching characters solve problems with physical violence,
or insult or tease each other with little or no consequence,
can desensitize young people to the very real and very seri-
ous effects of violent and aggressive behavior. It can also
help teach young people that violence is an acceptable way
to solve problems in real life and that it is okay to imitate
the aggressive behavior they see on TV. For example, when
American Idol judges Paula Abdul and Randy Jackson pose with former
contestant William Hung (right) at Nickelodeon’s 17th Annual Kids’
Choice Awards in California in 2004. American Idol draws a lot of atten-
tion from episodes that feature rejected auditioners whose skills are
often made fun of by one or more of the judges. Hung is one of the TV
show’s most popular “rejects.”
children see the characters on SpongeBob SquarePants teas-

ing and insulting each other with little reaction or conse-
quence, they may come to think it’s okay to talk to their own
peers this way. Yet, in reality, talking to each other this way
is hurtful and demeaning.
BECOMING MEDIA LITERATE

One way to combat the effects of watching violence on TV is
by becoming media literate. That means that you don’t just
VIDEO GAMES AND BULLYING

esearch shows that violent video games also increase aggressive
R behavior in young people. Several studies have found that playing
violent video games increases a person’s aggressive thoughts, feelings,
and behavior. Research also suggests that because the games are inter-
active, the effects may be even stronger than watching violence on TV.
Players are encouraged to play the role of aggressive characters and
actively participate in violent acts in order to win the game. Dr. Craig
Anderson, a psychological researcher, told the American Psychological
Association: “Violent video games provide a forum for learning and
practicing aggressive solutions to conflict situations.”
Some video games are extremely violent but don’t show any blood,
so young people, parents, and even policy makers think they’re age-
appropriate. For example, some violent video games are rated “E” for
“everyone” because the violence is cartoonish or fantastical. In some
ways these depictions can be even more damaging because they
make it seem as though being violent causes no real harm. According
to Anderson, research has shown a link between increased aggression
and E-rated violent video games.
It has been learned that some students who carried out school
shootings played certain violent video games, which has led to specu-
lation that playing such games can influence a person to commit
extreme violent acts. For example, the shooters in the Columbine Mas-
sacre were known to have played violent video games such as Doom,
Redneck Rampage, and Duke Nukem. It appeared, from journals and
videotapes made by shooters Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold that were
found after the attack, that the teens planned the attack with these
games and some violent movies in mind. The family of one of the
victims in the attack tried to sue several video game distributors, but
the lawsuits were dismissed in the name of free speech. It is difficult
to conclude that in any one incident a violent video game is to blame,
but research does show that playing violent video games can increase
aggression—especially in players who already have aggressive tenden-
cies, according to Anderson.
accept what you see on TV at face value. Instead, you watch

TV with a critical eye, asking questions and making your own
judgments about what you see. Becoming media literate helps
you to be a responsible citizen. It makes you a wiser consumer
and more thoughtful person about the world around you.
A person who is media literate asks questions about what
he or she sees on television and in movies. When you see a
violent act or aggressive or mean behavior on TV or in the
movies, stop and think about it. Asking the following ques-
tions can help you to better understand the real message
behind what you’re watching.
> What are the consequences? Many TV shows

and movies show violence or aggression with no
real consequences—that is, no one gets seriously
hurt or seems emotionally affected by the violence.
When you see aggression and violence on TV, ask
yourself what the consequences would be if a simi-
lar incident happened in real life. Would anyone be
seriously injured? Would they get into trouble, or
would their behavior be considered acceptable by
police, parents, or school authorities? Considering
these questions reminds you that much of what is
shown on TV is unrealistic.
> How are conflicts resolved? Be alert for con-
flicts on TV and in movies. How are they resolved?
If they’re resolved by fighting or exchanging insults
(even if humorous), think about a better way the
characters could have dealt with the conflict.
> Do you like the characters? Consider which
characters are portrayed as likable and which are
not. Are the victims of aggression and violence
people you sympathize with? Or do they seem to
“deserve” the treatment? What about the characters
who are acting aggressively?
THE HUMANITAS PRIZE

or all the violence and disrespect-
F ful treatment shown on TV, many
shows promote positive social values
such as respect and tolerance. The
Humanitas Prize is awarded every
year to screenwriters who create fea-
ture films or television programs that
“affirm the dignity of the human
person, probe the meaning of life,
and enlighten the use of human free-
dom.” Some recent winners of the
Humanitas Prize include:
2006
Children’s Animation: Miss
Spider’s Sunny Patch Friends:
Freedom Writers, featuring
A Froggy Day in Sunny Patch
Oscar winner Hilary Swank
Children’s Live Action: and R&B star Mario, won a
Edge of America Humanitas Prize in 2007. The
Feature Film: Crash film is about students who
find strength to make positive
2007 change through writing stories.
Children’s Animation : Above, cast members pose in a
Jakers! The Adventures of scene from the film.
Piggley Winks: “The Gift”
Children’s Live Action: Molly:
An American Girl on the
Home Front
Feature Film : Freedom Writers and Venus
> Is this realistic? Would this kind of action happen

in “real life”? If it did, what would the consequences
be? Are the characters realistic, and do you know
people who really act like that? Have you seen con-
flicts resolved in similar ways?
> How would you feel? Consider how you would
feel if you were in the shoes of the character being
insulted or physically assaulted. How would you
want to be treated instead? Sometimes violence
seems less entertaining when you put yourself in
the shoes of the characters.
Also, be alert for ways that people are stereotyped or made

fun of in the way that they’re portrayed in the media. This can
be harder to pick up on. For example, are pretty, blond char-
acters portrayed as being silly or less intelligent? Are over-
weight characters portrayed in a negative way? These kinds
of messages are important because they help promote preju-
dice and intolerance—two enemies of a respectful, bully-free
community.
Make a point of asking yourself these questions anytime
you see fighting or aggressive behavior on TV or in a movie.
Talk about them with a parent or a friend. After a while, it will
become second nature to view entertainment with a critical
eye. You may even notice ways that TV and movies are influ-
encing the way your classmates treat each other.
WHAT IS BEING DONE ABOUT VIOLENCE

ON TV?
With so much evidence linking violence on TV to violence,
bullying, and aggression in young people, a number of actions
have been taken in recent years to reduce children’s exposure
to violence on TV. In 1996, the U.S. Congress mandated that
every television set be equipped with technology that allows
parents to block certain shows from being viewed by their
children. There is now a system of ratings, similar to the
Television shows now have ratings so parents can monitor what their
children watch, and the V- Chip was created so that parents could block
programs. Above, in 1996, President Bill Clinton (second from right) and
Vice President Al Gore (second from left) met with former Walt Disney
Company president Michael Ovitz (left) and Westinghouse Electric (now
CBS Corporation) chairman and chief executive officer Michael Jordan in
1996 to discuss creating a television ratings system.
system of ratings movies have, to help guide parents in mak-

ing good choices. However, according to the Parents Televi-
sion Council, the ratings are applied inconsistently so some
inappropriate programs slip through. In 2007, the Federal
Communications Commission, which regulates the media,
recommended new legislation that would allow the govern-
ment to control violence on TV in order to limit young people’s
exposure to it.
6 BULLYING IN
POLITICS AND
AT WORK
“If you let a bully come in your front yard,
he’ll be on your porch the next day. . . .”
—Lyndon B. Johnson (1908-1973), 36th U.S. president
B
ullying is not strictly a behavior that young people
engage in and then outgrow. Examples of bullying
among adults can be found in many parts of society.
Nations bully other nations into giving them support for inter-
national actions. Politicians running for office try to humiliate
each other to gain more votes. Coworkers harass and bully
each other to get ahead. It’s all part of a culture that values
power over cooperation and success over peace.
GOVERNMENTAL BULLYING
Throughout the world and throughout history, governmen-
tal leaders have used their power to intimidate citizens who
oppose their policies. This often happens in countries with
oppressive governments who don’t want their citizens to
have too many rights.
One example of this is when the South African gov-
ernment enforced the laws of apartheid. Apartheid was a
64
Bullying in Politics and at Work 65
Critics argue that the South African government tried to bully protestors
of apartheid into submission. During the Soweto uprising, protestors ral-
lied against the use of the language Afrikaans in schools—a language that
black South Africans associated with apartheid. In this photo, protestors
during the uprising use cars as roadblocks on June 21, 1976.
system that separated the races and ethnic groups, and gave
whites more rights and power than other groups. Under
apartheid the government attempted to bully antiapartheid
activists into submission in a variety of ways. Police shot at
protesters to break up rallies. Activists and opposition lead-
ers were taken to jail and held without trial; and sometimes
they were tortured until they shared the names and plans
of other antiapartheid groups. In essence, the government
tried to bully the opposition into giving up and accepting the
apartheid state.
One of the most famous incidents was the Soweto Upris-

ing. On June 16, 1976, 10,000–15,000 young people in the Afri-
can township of Soweto staged a peaceful protest for better
education. South African security police ordered the crowd to
go home, but the people refused. The police released dogs and
tear gas and began shooting into the crowd. At least 23 peo-
ple were killed and more than 100 injured. That was followed
by days of less peaceful protests in Soweto and throughout
the country. The government hoped their actions would
intimidate protesters and stop the antiapartheid movement.
Antiapartheid activists refused to back down, and finally in
the 1990s, the apartheid government was dismantled and all
races were given equal rights.
Often, oppressive governments will single out individuals
whom they see as a threat to their power and try to bully and
intimidate them into silence. In Argentina, Jacobo Timer-
man founded two newspapers that he used as an outlet to
report the human rights violations committed by Argentina’s
government. At this time, the Argentinean government was
extremely oppressive and regularly imprisoned and tortured
people who spoke out against it. In 1977, the government put
Timerman in prison. He was never charged and never had a
trial, and while in prison, he was tortured. After a 30-month
ordeal, he was exiled to Israel. Despite all this intimidation,
Timerman still did not back down. He remained an outspo-
ken journalist outside the country, and in 1984, he returned
to Argentina to testify against former military leaders about
their human rights violations.
In the world of international diplomacy, leaders of powerful
countries often use intimidation to pressure smaller and less
powerful countries to do certain things. These leaders can
do this by threatening to withhold financial support from or
impose trade sanctions on other countries that are dependent
on international aid and trade for their economic survival.
Sometimes, when a government is violating international
law or human rights, these tactics are considered legitimate
Journalist Jacobo Timerman, seen here in 1994, never backed down

against the Argentinean government, which tried to silence him.
diplomatic strategies. However, when governments use these

strategies to pressure other countries to do what they want,
this is often considered bullying.
The United States is one of the world’s foremost “super-
powers,” meaning that it is a country with a leading position
in the international community and it has the ability to influ-
ence events and project its power worldwide. Yet, the United
States and its leaders have often been accused of acting as
an international bully. A 2002 survey of Canadians conducted
for Maclean’s magazine, Global TV Network, and the Ottawa
Citizen found that almost 70 percent of those surveyed felt
that the United States “is starting to act like a bully with the
rest of the world.”
The Canadian survey was taken when the United States

was working to build international support for a military
invasion of Iraq. At the time, the United Nations was in the
process of inspecting Iraq for evidence of weapons of mass
destruction (WMDs). President George W. Bush and other
U.S. politicians believed that Iraq was building WMDs and
posed a serious security threat to the United States. Bush felt
that there was enough evidence of WMDs and that further
inspections were not necessary. He argued for a preemptive
war—that is, he wanted to attack Iraq before Iraq attacked the
United States. However, the leaders of many other countries
questioned the necessity of a preemptive war. They wanted to
allow the United Nations (U.N.) more time to inspect Iraq for
evidence of WMDs and only go to war if all possibilities for
diplomacy had been exhausted.
In order for the war to be accepted as legal under interna-
tional law, the United States needed the backing of the U.N.
Security Council. The U.N. Security Council is a coalition
of U.N. member nations that vote on resolutions for taking
certain military and diplomatic actions. In 2003, the council
included some countries that were in favor of the war, some
that were opposed, and several that were undecided.
The United States used various tactics to pressure the
undecided countries to vote in favor of the war. Many of
these tactics involved pressuring smaller countries with
fewer resources into supporting the war. This approach was
not new. Similar tactics had also been used when the United
States was pressing for a U.N. resolution to invade Iraq in
1990. James Baker, the U.S. secretary of state from 1989 to
1992, wrote in his book The Politics of Diplomacy: Revolution,
War and Peace, 1989-1992 that he met personally with unde-
cided members “in an intricate process of cajoling, extract-
ing, threatening, and occasionally buying votes.”
In 2003, U.S. representatives threatened to withdraw eco-
nomic aid to any country that did not support the resolution
and promised future aid to countries that did. Some of the
countries on the Security Council at the time were extremely

poor—including Guinea, Cameroon, and Angola. For these
countries, the threat of losing economic assistance from the
United States had serious consequences.
Mexico was another country that was very dependent
on the United States economically. At first, Mexico’s then-
president, Vicente Fox, was strongly opposed to the war. But
then the U.S. ambassador to Mexico was quoted in the Wash-
ington Post as saying that, if Mexico voted no, it would lose
U.S. cooperation and support on several important issues.
And the threat was real: Yemen, a poor Middle Eastern
country, voted against the resolution to go to war with Iraq in
Critics of the United States invasion of Iraq in March of 2003 felt U.S. lead-
ers bullied other countries into agreeing to go to war with Iraq. Above,
Secretary of State Colin Powell addresses the United Nations Security
Council on February 14, 2003 to explain evidence U.S. intelligence had
uncovered and to urge other countries to aid in invading Iraq.
Leaders of some countries, including then- Mexican President Vicente Fox

(left), did not want to go to war with Iraq, but felt pressured by the U.S.
officials to do so. Above, Fox and U.S. President George W. Bush meet in
October 2003.
1990 and lost a $70 million aid package. President Bush him-
self was quoted as saying that countries that didn’t vote with
the United States would face “significant retribution from the
government.” Soon, President Fox began to change this posi-
tion and move toward supporting the war. In this way, many
countries were bullied into supporting the war even though
they did not agree with it. These countries’ leaders acted out
of fear, not because they agreed that invading Iraq was the
right thing to do at that time.
Many who were opposed to the war criticized the United
States for bullying poorer and less powerful countries into
supporting the war. In March 2003, the United States lead
Great Britain and several other countries in what it called a
“Coalition of the Willing” to invade Iraq. Yet, because the tac-
tics the United States used to gain international support for
the war were so well known, the coalition of countries that

invaded Iraq has sometimes jokingly been called the “Coali-
tion of the Coerced.”
BULLYING IN U.S. POLITICS

Intimidation tactics are often used in U.S. politics. Political
bullying may involve pressuring or threatening constituents
to vote a certain way or not vote at all, spreading negative
rumors about a political candidate, and other tactics. A
political action may be considered bullying when it involves
intimidating others to ensure a certain outcome. For exam-
ple, it would be considered political bullying if a politician
tries to intimidate another politician to drop out of a race,
or a political group tries to intimidate another group not to
vote.
As previously discussed, the Ku Klux Klan tried to scare
African Americans away from registering to vote in and
around the mid-1960s. This type of activity isn’t legal, and it
would be difficult for any group to get away with such blatant
intimidation today. Still, in recent years some political parties
have been accused of trying to stop certain groups of voters
from voting in elections. In the 2004 presidential election,
there were widespread reports in some states that voters in
mostly Democratic precincts were faced with extremely long
lines, not enough voting machines, challenges to their regis-
tration, and other apparent attempts to stop them from voting,
while voters in mostly Republican precincts reportedly faced
no such problems. Many believed that these problems were
not coincidences; they believed that Republicans had deliber-
ately set things up to stop many Democrats from voting. Even
during the 2007 presidential primary, rival candidates Hillary
Clinton and Barack Obama accused each other of trying to
obstruct voters that were likely to vote for the other candidate
in the Nevada primary. These complaints were never proven,
but they show that it is possible for political groups to use
their power to stop people who oppose them from voting—in
other words, bullying people to give up their rights.
Some Democrats believe that state Republican leaders intentionally hin-

dered voting in the 2004 Presidential election in the heavily Democratic
parts of key states to gain an advantage. They argue that these tactics
included encouraging long lines (such as the one above in Palm Beach
County, Florida—a state that was a necessary win in deciding the next
president) and not fixing faulty voting machines.
Negative campaigning is another form of bullying in

politics. It involves spreading rumors, exposing a candidate’s
personal life, or using other unfair tactics that focus on the
candidate’s negative qualities rather than one’s own posi-
tive qualities. For example, a campaign that produces a TV
ad exposing another candidate’s personal problems would
be considered negative campaigning. Most people agree
that such information is not relevant to a candidate’s ability
to serve in office. Yet, by spreading such negative informa-
tion, many voters may begin to see that candidate in a more
negative light and decide to vote for another candidate— or
not at all.
Negative campaigning sometimes involves distorting the

truth about a person’s position on certain issues or about
their qualifications. One of the most famous examples of
this is an advertisement by the Lyndon B. Johnson campaign
in 1964. The ad showed an innocent child picking a flower
and then a fierce mushroom cloud from the explosion of a
nuclear bomb. The goal of the ad was to point to Johnson’s
opponent’s military views and make voters feel that oppo-
nent Barry Goldwater planned to lead the country to nuclear
war. This was an exaggeration of the candidate’s position on
nuclear war, but it scared voters away from choosing that
Goldwater.
Another form of negative campaigning is similar to rela-
tional or indirect bullying. Rather than spreading negative
information through advertisements, rumors are spread,
often over the Internet. For example, during the 2007 presi-
dential primary, a rumor was spread through e-mails that
democratic candidate Barack Obama, whose father was born
in Kenya, was a Muslim. This tapped into many Americans’
post-September 11, 2001 fears about radical Muslim terror-
ist groups. Although completely unfounded, this information
Stills from the famous Lyndon B. Johnson campaign’s “mushroom cloud”

commercial show a little girl picking flowers followed by the image of a
mushroom cloud.
may have been enough to plant a seed of doubt in the minds

of some voters about Obama. The e-mail was not traceable,
so it is not known who started the rumor.
Because of the damage negative campaigning can do,
sometimes candidates try to get another candidate to with-
draw by threatening them with personal attacks. When
Eugene Wong ran for the San Francisco Board of Supervisors,
he met with Walter Wong, a supporter for his opponent and
a powerful businessman. According to Eugene Wong, Walter
Wong told him that if he didn’t withdraw from the race, he
would be subject to a smear campaign that would ruin his
career as an attorney as well as his run for office. Eugene
Wong did not back down though: He filed a complaint with
the Ethics Commission and continued his campaign.
Sometimes, even once officials are in office, opponents
will try to ruin their career by exposing their personal lives.
NEGATIVE EFFECTS OF
NEGATIVE CAMPAIGNING
he goal of negative campaigning is simple: to ensure that the can-
T didate being attacked loses the election. This can be achieved in
two ways: First, voters who would have voted for that candidate change
their mind and choose another candidate. Second, voters who would
have voted for that candidate get so disappointed in him or her that
they don’t bother to vote at all. Either result means a better chance for
the attacking candidate to win the election.
Researchers have investigated whether this strategy works, but the
results have not been consistent. Although some studies have found that
negative campaigning works to secure more votes for the attacking can-
didate, other studies have found that negative campaigning actually wins
more votes for the candidate who is attacked. This is probably because
many voters don’t like negative campaigning. When they see a candidate
President Bill Clinton and his wife, Hillary Rodham Clinton,

were investigated by the Republican-led House of Represen-
tatives and then the Senate from 1994 to 1996 for wrongdo-
ings related to a financial deal known as Whitewater in which
the Clintons were involved. No one was ever able to prove
that the Clintons did anything wrong, and many Democrats
claimed that the Clintons were being treated unfairly by peo-
ple who wanted to destroy their careers and keep them from
accomplishing anything while in office. In other words, the
Whitewater investigation was seen as an effort to bully the
Clintons out of office.
Because of the unfavorable view that many voters have
of negative campaigning, some candidates promise to “take
the high road” and stay positive in their campaigns. Barack
Obama promised to avoid negative campaigning during
his bid for president in 2007. Yet, when his opponent in the
using this strategy, they may begin to dislike that candidate and instead
choose to vote for someone who keeps his or her campaign positive.
A survey by the Project on Campaign Conduct supported the theory
that voters do not like negative campaign strategies. Eighty-seven per-
cent of those who responded to the survey were concerned about the
level of personal attacks in campaigns, and 42 percent believe that all
candidates purposely make unfair attacks on their opponents. Another
study, conducted by Stanford University’s Political Communication Lab,
also found that negative campaign advertising can give voters a nega-
tive view of politics and politicians in general. This is especially true
among independent voters who are not loyal to any political party. The
study found that voters who are already loyal to a certain candidate or
party are less likely to be affected by negative ads. In all, the study con-
cluded that candidates are more likely to get votes by running a positive
rather than negative campaign.
Democratic primaries, Hillary Rodham Clinton, began using

negative tactics, he had a dilemma. Many commentators in
the media suggested that if he did not retaliate or at least
respond, he would risk losing the race to be nominated as the
Democratic presidential candidate. But if he began to attack
Clinton, he would break a campaign promise. In this way,
when politicians use negative campaign tactics, they gain
power over their rivals by controlling the tone of the race,
even if the actual attacks don’t change voters’ minds.
WORKPLACE BULLYING
Politicians and government leaders aren’t the only adults to
bully others; bullying is also common among average adult
citizens. Whereas bullying among young people generally
happens in or around school, bullying among adults often
happens at work. A 2007 survey by Zogby International
found that 37 percent of adults claim they’ve been bullied
at work.
The Workplace Bullying Institute defines workplace bul-
lying as “repeated, health-harming mistreatment of one or
more persons (the targets) by one or more perpetrators.”
Just like childhood bullying, the workplace bully’s actions
are driven by the need to control others. They use a variety
of tactics to bully their coworkers. They may yell at or insult
them, or act in ways that offend, embarrass, or make the vic-
tim feel unsafe. Generally, workplace bullies attempt to dis-
rupt a person’s ability to get work done or succeed at a job.
The profile of the target of workplace bullying is some-
what different from typical victims of bullying in childhood.
Research by the Workplace Bullying Institute has found that
typical targets of workplace bullying are workers who are
independent and don’t like to act submissively. They are often
better at their jobs or have better skills than the bully, are well
liked, have positive social skills, and are honest and ethical.
This is different from childhood bullies, who are often sub-
missive, shy, and insecure.
Similar to childhood bullying, there are different types of

workplace bullying and different kinds of bullies. The first
type is the most direct form of bullying and is similar to
typical schoolyard bullying. The direct workplace bully is
short-tempered and has little control over his or her emo-
tions. He or she yells and barks out orders to employees and
WORKPLACE BULLYING LAWS

nfortunately, dealing with a workplace bully is not always as clear-
U cut as dealing with a school bully. The Workplace Bullying Institute
warns that reporting the bullying to the human resources department
or another superior does not usually get results. What’s worse, it may
lead to an increase in the bullying as the bully tries to get revenge on
the victim for speaking out.
Most employers don’t have a policy against bullying, and despite
the damage workplace bullying can cause, there are no laws against
it in the United States. That means that even if an employee speaks
up and complains about bullying, their employer doesn’t have to do
anything about it. Occasionally, a victim has attempted to sue the
employer based on grounds other than bullying. For example, in 2005,
Joe Doescher sued his employer for emotional distress and assault. He
won and was awarded $325,000, but the case remained under appeal
for years after the trial. However, because of the lack of a clear law
that defines workplace bullying and forces employers to do something
about it when it occurs, often the victim’s only choice is to leave his or
her job to get away from the bullying.
Fortunately, workplace bullying is increasingly being recognized as
a serious problem. The Workplace Bullying Institute has led a move-
ment to increase awareness of this problem and push states to enact
laws against workplace bullying. As of February 2003, 13 states had
introduced an anti-bullying Healthy Workplace Bill. Once passed, these
laws should give employees more options when they are faced with a
workplace bully.
often loses his or her temper at work. He or she may directly

threaten the victim with his or her job.
Another form of workplace bullying may be less obvious
to other employees but is just as damaging to the victim. The
victim is constantly insulted, criticized, and put down by the
bully. He or she may even be wrongly blamed for mistakes
that weren’t his or her fault. The bully makes unreasonable
demands on the person by giving him or her very little time to
complete big projects but demanding perfection every time.
He or she may also criticize the victim’s personal life and
generally show no respect for the victim.
The third type of workplace bullying is the most indirect.
Like the childhood bully who spreads rumors and works to
make sure the victim is excluded or shunned by classmates,
the indirect workplace bully works to sabotage his or her vic-
tim at work. The Workplace Bullying Institute calls this type
of bully the “two-headed snake” because the person pretends
to be nice while actually trying to hurt the victim’s career. For
example, the bully may actively try to gather information that
will get the victim fired even if he or she hasn’t really done
anything wrong. Indirect workplace bullying may also involve
actions such as ignoring the victim or excluding him or her
from communications (not distributing e-mails or memos to
him or her).
Workplace bullying can have severe effects on the victim.
Just like childhood bullies, adult victims of bullying can suf-
fer from:
> Stress and stress-related health problems such as

trouble sleeping, high blood pressure and heart
disease, and reduced immunity (getting sick more
often)
> Mental health problems such as depression, low self-
esteem, anxiety, and post-traumatic stress disorder
> Career problems—victims of workplace bullying may
be forced to quit their jobs because of the bullying,
or the bully may cause them to be transferred or

fired
Just like school bullying, if workplace bullying is accepted

and no one speaks out against it, it can create a negative,
unsafe feeling for everyone at the organization. Workplace
bullying can also make it harder for a company to succeed
because the stress of bullying distracts workers from doing
their jobs. It also leads to more staff quitting their jobs and
taking sick time to get away from the bullying.
7 CHANGING THE
BULLYING CULTURE
AT YOUR SCHOOL
“If you just start, and other people see what
you’re doing, they want to join, so it begins
to grow. It just takes some guts to make
that start, to begin the chain reaction.”
—Nickole Evans, community activist
B
y now you understand the negative effects of bullying—
not only for children and teens but for everyone in soci-
ety. Bullying hurts many people: the victims, the bullies,
and everyone around them. When bullying is accepted, it con-
tributes to a negative culture in a school or community— one
where aggression and fear rule instead of safety, respect, and
friendship. You can learn how to help fight the culture that
accepts and promotes bullying and fighting in your school,
and help make your school a safe place where everyone feels
valued and respected.
There are many elements that go into creating a safe and
caring school environment. Everyone plays a role—school
staff, teachers, parents, and students. When these groups
work together, even schools riddled with bullying and fighting
can be transformed into safe, caring communities.
80
Changing the Bullying Culture at Your School 81
TAKING RESPONSIBILITY
In order to create a safe, caring community, all members—
including you—must take responsibility. A person who is
responsible is accountable for what he or she does. He or she
won’t blame others for his or her mistakes. Someone who is
irresponsible doesn’t care about the consequences of his or
actions. He or she may blame others or deny doing something
against the rules rather than take responsibility for actions.
Taking responsibility for bullying in your community or
school means that you understand that bullying is not just the
problem of the bully and the bullied. Even if you’ve never been
picked on, bullying is a community problem, and everyone in
the community is responsible for it. That doesn’t mean bul-
lying is your fault. It does mean that if you witness bullying,
it’s your responsibility to do something— either by speaking
out against the bully, stepping in to protect the victim (if it’s
safe), or reporting the bullying to an adult. Don’t assume that
someone else will take care of it—what if everyone assumed
that? Nothing would happen, and the bullying would con-
tinue. Take action. The greater the number of voices speak-
ing out against bullying, the more likely you will be heard.
Taking responsibility for bullying can also mean getting
involved in improving a school’s climate in other ways. What
follows is an outline of some ways you can do that.
SHOW EVERYONE RESPECT

In a safe community, everyone is treated with respect. Having
respect means that you accept that other people may have
different opinions and points of view from yours. Respect
is about tolerating those differences. That means that, even
if you don’t like someone or what someone is doing, you
remember that each individual is a human being with the
right to be treated with dignity. Nobody—not even a bully—
deserves to be ridiculed, insulted, or humiliated.
A respectful school climate is one where everyone treats
everyone with respect. This means that teachers should not
purposely embarrass students for not doing work or misbe-

having in class. Coaches should not humiliate team members
for not playing their best. And students should not tease,
taunt, shove, or purposely embarrass other students. In a
respectful school, people are considerate of each other’s feel-
ings, and they follow the “Golden Rule”: Treat others how
they would want to be treated.
INTOLERANCE IS INTOLERABLE
Another important element of a safe community is tolerating
differences. This means that everyone is treated with respect
regardless of race, ethnicity, religion, weight, hair color, phys-
ical ability or disability, or any other difference. Whether you
live in a diverse community with students from many differ-
ent ethnic and religious backgrounds or a community where
most people share a similar background, it’s important to
respect and tolerate those who are different from you.
When differences are not tolerated, this is called preju-
dice, and prejudice can lead to hate crimes—harassment or
violence against someone because of his or her membership
in a certain group. Someone who bullies another person
because of his or her religion or racial or ethnic background
is committing a hate crime. According to Partners Against
Hate (www.partnersagainsthate.org), hate crimes have an
even stronger impact than “regular” bullying because they
make every member of the victim’s group feel threatened.
Many states, communities, and schools have laws or policies
specifically addressing hate crimes, and many communities
are working to promote tolerance for diversity to combat
prejudice and hate.
As a high school student in Iowa, Robert Perrin-Hayes
learned about bullying and hate crimes firsthand. When he
was a sophomore in high school, he had to give a speech
about bravery for a public-speaking class. In order to illus-
trate his points about bravery, he decided to reveal that he
was gay in the speech. The news of his announcement spread
quickly throughout the school and bullying soon followed.
Fellow students called him names, shoved him, and even

tried to run him off the road.
Rather than retreat or withdraw from school, Perrin-Hayes
took action to keep himself and other students safe from this
type of treatment. He began to work with political activists
and other teens to convince state officials to pass a Safe
Schools bill that would protect students from bullying. By the
time Robert was a senior in high school, the bill had passed.
Although Robert didn’t benefit from the protections offered by
the bill because he was graduating, he told a reporter that he
felt relieved that “there is actually a chance for everybody to
be treated equally.”
Prejudice is often the result of ignorance—not understand-
ing and/or fearing something unfamiliar. Taking the time
to get to know people as individuals can go a long way in
reducing ignorance and prejudice. For example, Jack, who
uses a wheelchair, begins to attend a new school. Jane has
never met a person in a wheelchair before, and she assumes
that Jack isn’t as smart as “regular” kids and doesn’t want to
have fun in the same ways that other kids do. But when she
is paired with Jack on a science project, she learns that he’s
actually just like the other kids she knows. The only difference
is how he gets around. Jane and Jack become friends. Jane has
learned an important lesson in life: not to make assumptions
about people based on how things look on the outside.
Instead of fearing differences, acknowledge, celebrate,
and respect the diversity in your school and community.
Participate in activities in your school and community that
celebrate diversity. Attend cultural events of groups other
than your own. For example, attend a festival celebrating
Cinco de Mayo, Mexico’s Independence Day, even if you are
not Mexican.
Become more aware of stereotypes. Stereotypes are
oversimplified images or beliefs about groups of people. For
example, assuming that all doctors are men is a common ste-
reotype. Instead of making assumptions about members of
any group, take the time to get to know people as individuals
and learn about their background. Or, you can even read
up, on the Internet or at your library, about different groups
represented at your school. Just make sure you use reliable
sources for your information—ask your librarian for help find-
ing information.
In the same way that keeping silent about bullying sends
the message that bullying is okay, keeping silent about preju-
dice sends the message that prejudice and intolerance is
okay. Speak out against intolerance that you see around your
school. If you notice a friend stereotyping others with infor-
mation you know is false, correct him or her. If someone you
know insults members of another group, speak up— even if
the conversation is private or the person is joking. Let him
or her know that prejudice is not funny and that it’s not okay
with you. You may not change the person’s mind, but at least
TAKE ACTION: START AN

ANTI-PREJUDICE CLUB
f prejudice and intolerance is a problem in your school, one way to
I fight them is to start a student anti-prejudice club to stand up for toler-
ance and diversity. These clubs are sometimes called antibias clubs or
even civil rights clubs, and they can make a big difference in changing
school climates. Anti-bias groups help coordinate activities in the school
to celebrate diversity, such as international dinners, showing movies
about different types of families, and inviting parents and students to
share their cultures at school assemblies. They can also provide support
and resources for students experiencing bullying because of prejudice.
One civil rights group in Maine had a suggestion box where students
could let the team know about things of concern. A student dropped a
note in the box after he had witnessed two brothers being bullied on
the school bus because of their old, out-of-style clothing. The civil rights
team reported the information to the principal, who reported it to the
bus driver, who had been unaware of the bullying. The team also sent
a note to the brothers telling them that they were sorry about how they
you’ve sent the message that you think what he or she said
or did is wrong. Plus, you may just make a person think twice
about his or her attitude.
COMPASSION IS KEY
Showing compassion means showing others that you care
about their feelings. Young people can help build a caring
school climate in many ways. Often it’s the “little things” that
make a difference when it comes to caring. There are many
small ways you can show compassion to other kids.
Be nice to the new kids. Moving to a new place and/or
starting a new school can be really difficult. It means leav-
ing old friends and teachers behind and starting over. If
your new classmates aren’t welcoming, it’s easy to become
isolated—and that makes the new kid an easy target for
had been treated. The bullying was quickly stopped—and the victims
knew that other students in school did care about them and believed
they deserved to be treated with respect.
Partners Against Hate (www.partnersagainsthate.org) suggests
these steps for starting an anti-prejudice club at your school:
> Decide on your guiding principles. Why is it important that

your school have an anti-prejudice club? Why is it important
to you? To your school?
> Get support from other students and teachers who share
your concerns. Define your goals as a group, and seek school-
wide support.
> Ask a teacher to be your advisor. Look for ways to integrate anti-
prejudice messages into the school’s curriculum and activities.
> Develop programs and activities for your group, and keep
recruiting members.
bullying. Remember actor Tom Cruise, who changed schools

15 times and was bullied at every school he attended. How
different might his childhood have been if some of the stu-
dents in those schools were a little more welcoming?
When you see a new kid at school, take a moment to intro-
duce yourself. Offer to show him or her around. Invite him or
her to eat lunch at your table or shoot hoops with you and
your friends after school. Even if the person seems unfriendly
at first, give him or her a chance. He or she may be shy or may
be trying to seem “cool” to hide loneliness or nervousness.
You’ll probably make his or her day by being friendly—and
you may just end up with a new friend yourself.
Simple activities can help people consider their everyday, hurtful actions.
Above, Abby Frenzen (center) of STOP Violence, a Kansas City-based anti-
violence organization, places labels on eighth-grade students’ foreheads
at Allen Edison Charter School in Kansas City, Missouri. Students then
make comments to one another based on their labels, and each student
tries to guess what his or her label says.
“Pay it forward.” If someone is kind to you, turn around

and show someone else a little kindness. This could be as
simple as smiling or saying “hello” to someone you don’t
know in the hallway, sharing your lunch with someone
who forgot theirs, or loaning someone a pencil before a big
test. Spread the word that kindness is cool by being kind
yourself. And when your peers see you acting this way, they
just may follow your lead and show someone else a little
kindness too.
Make a point to be nice to victims of bullying, too. If you
know a classmate is being bullied, take time to be kind to that
person. Walk home from school with him. Remember that
being alone makes it easy for a bully to target a victim, but
when friends stick together, bullies often don’t even bother.
You don’t have to be the person’s best friend, but showing
that you care about his or her safety, and that you believe he
or she deserves to be treated well, can mean a lot.
LEARN ABOUT CONFLICT RESOLUTION AND

PEER MEDIATION
In order to curb school violence, many schools have conflict
resolution programs in place. Conflict resolution is when two
people work together to solve a disagreement without vio-
lence. The goal of conflict resolution programs is to teach stu-
dents how to solve problems without fighting; this approach
helps reduce aggression and violence in schools.
Many experts warn that conflict resolution isn’t always
appropriate for dealing with bullying. This is because, as pre-
viously explained, bullying is not “normal conflict” in which
two people of equal status disagree about something. Bully-
ing is about power, aggression, and victimization. The people
involved are not equals, and they don’t have a disagreement
to resolve.
However, conflict resolution programs are still a key part
of any school’s overall effort to reduce violence and aggres-
sion. Research shows that when conflict resolution programs
are put into practice effectively, schools see less violence,
better classroom behavior, and improvements in the social and

emotional development of students. Remember that both bul-
lies and victims lack effective social skills; conflict resolution
programs can help build positive social skills and teach stu-
dents the importance of treating one another with respect.
These skills can help prevent bullying in the first place.
Conflict resolution usually involves learning to do two
things: how to listen to another’s point of view and how to
compromise. In order for conflict resolution to work, every-
one involved must be willing to cooperate, or work together
to solve the problem. They also need to accept one another’s
differences and be willing to get creative to solve the prob-
lem. A typical conflict resolution process is as follows:
1. Both people calm down and agree to talk things

through to solve the problem.
2. Each person explains his or her feelings honestly.
Feelings should be expressed honestly but without
accusing the other person. A good approach is to
use “I” statements. For example, say: “I feel hurt that
you don’t sit with me at lunch anymore” instead of
“You are so rude. You always ignore me now!” The
first statement focuses on your feelings. The second
statement accuses the other person.
3. Each person listens without interrupting while the
other person talks. One technique often taught in
conflict resolution program is called active listening.
This is when you listen to what the other person says,
and when the person is done, you restate what the
person says in order to confirm that you understand
his or her point of view. Each person should also ask
questions to make sure the other side is understood.
4. When both people have expressed their feelings, it’s
time to start looking for a solution. One way to find
creative solutions is to start by brainstorming. Make
a list of any idea you both come up with to solve the
WOULD YOU STICK YOUR NECK OUT?

THE GIRAFFE HEROES PROJECT
t takes courage to take a stand
I for something you believe in
or to take action to solve a
problem in your community.
When faced with a problem
such as bullying, taking action
may mean making some sac-
rifices. For example, you may
risk a place in the popular
crowd if you start standing up
to kids in that crowd who bully
others. Getting involved in an
anti-prejudice group or other
anti-bullying activities may take
up time and energy that you
could be spending just enjoy-
ing yourself with friends at Teen activist Nickole Evans
home, the playground, or the has risked her own safety to
mall. Yet, many people find spread the message that vio-
these risks and sacrifices to be lence is wrong. Above, she
worth it—they even find it satis- poses in front of a display
fying to knowing they are hav- about her work at the United
Nations in 2004.
ing some impact on a problem
that seems important to them
to solve.
The Giraffe Heroes Project is a nonprofit organization that recog-
nizes people and adults who stick their neck out for the common good.
It tells the stories of these people to inspire others to take action to
address challenges they see—in their communities or around the world.
The project was started in 1984 by writer, editor, and publisher Ann
(continues)
(continued)
Medlock. She began the project to counter all the violence reported in
the media. She collected positive news stories of unknown everyday
“heroes”—people who were sticking their neck out for the common
good. Since that time, the Giraffe Heroes Project has honored close to
a thousand heroes.
Nickole Evans is one such hero. Evans was named a Giraffe Project
hero for her work as a teenage community activist. Among her many
activities, she is an antiviolence crusader. She started her region’s first
chapter of Students Against Violence Everywhere (S.A.V.E.), and she
has even risked her own safety to educate members of her commu-
nity about violence. Her community has become home to refugees
from many parts of the world that are troubled with war and violence.
The children in these families often grew up knowing no other way to
solve problems than with violence. When Nickole and a friend were
shot with BB guns by some children from Bosnia she began working
in the Bosnian community and talking directly to families and youth
about nonviolence. Nickole risked her own safety by going right into the
neighborhoods where the kids who shot at her lived in order to spread
the message that violence is not a good way to solve problems.
You can find more inspiration from everyday people working for the
common good at www.giraffe.org.
problem. While you’re making your list, don’t evalu-

ate any idea yet. Once both people have compiled a
list, review the options one by one. Weigh the pros
and cons of each idea. Agree on an idea that works
best for both of you. Remember, both sides will
probably need to compromise. That means that the
solution may not be exactly what you want, but it
should be something you can both live with.
5. Once an agreement has been reached, the two peo-
ple can make a plan for how they’ll handle conflict
in the future.
Some conflict resolution programs include a mediation

component. Mediation means a neutral person works with
the people having a disagreement to help them solve the
conflict. Often, schools have peer mediators—students spe-
cially trained to work with other students to resolve conflicts.
Becoming a peer mediator is a great way to contribute to
your school’s efforts to create a caring, safe, and nonviolent
community.
MAKE A DIFFERENCE
Sometimes people hesitate to get involved because they think
they’re just one person and can’t really make a difference in
their school or community. But even one person can make a
big impact. And when one person takes action, chances are
others will follow.
If you’re still in doubt, consider the story of a high school in
a small community in Nova Scotia, Canada. On his first day of
school, a ninth-grade boy wore a pink polo shirt to school. He
was taunted by bullies all day. They called him a homosexual
and threatened to beat him up. Other students witnessed the
bullying, and two 12th-grade boys, David Shepherd and Tra-
vis Price, heard about it and decided enough was enough.
David and Travis bought 75 pink T-shirts at a discount
store. They spread the word via e-mail to all of their class-
mates, asking them to wear pink to school the next day or
wear one of their pink shirts to support the bullied student.
The next day, hundreds of students came to school dressed
in pink to show their support. It was a powerful moment
when the bullied student walked into school. “Definitely it
looked like there was a big weight lifted off his shoulders.
He went from looking right depressed to being as happy as
can be,” David told reporters from the Canadian Broadcast
Corporation.
In addition to making the bullied student feel supported,
the bullies stopped their bullying in the face of so much
anti-bullying sentiment among their peers. “If you can get
more people against them . . . to show that we’re not going to
Nova Scotia high school students Travis Price (right) and David Sheppard
(center) show Premier Rodney MacDonald their pink shirts in 2007. The
Canadian boys bought 75 pink shirts and encouraged students at their
school to wear them after a friend was bullied for wearing pink. Their shirts
say: “I bought 75 shirts because [of] the story of pink . . . don’t matter!”
and “75 pink shirts=$10.00; Gas=$2.00; Defending a GATOR=Priceless!”
The second shirt’s writing is a play on the popular MasterCard commer-
cials, and the alligator is the mascot of their school.
put up with it and support each other, then they’re not as big
a group as they think they are,” said David.
If such a simple action on the part of two students could
have such a big impact in their school, imagine what you and
your friends could do about bullying in your school.
GLOSSARY
adrenaline A hormone secreted by the adrenal gland when
a person is stressed or afraid
apartheid A political system in South Africa from 1948 to the
1990s that separated the different racial groups and gave
certain rights and privileges only to white people
bystanders People who stand by and witness an event
anxiety disorders A group of mental illnesses with symp-
toms of extreme anxiety and fear. Anxiety disorders can
be present from an early age, or they can be triggered by
a stressful event
anxious Worried, afraid, uncertain, or nervous
appreciate To feel grateful for something
body language Communication without words (hand ges-
tures, facial expressions, body stance)
citizen A member of a community
coerce To force somebody to do something that he or she
doesn’t want to do
compromise When a disagreement is settled by all sides
agreeing to accept less than they originally wanted
consumer Anyone who buys or uses goods or services,
including media entertainment
cortisol A hormone produced by the adrenal gland in
response to stress
critical Being able to study and question something and
identify its faults
depression A mental illness with symptoms of lasting sad-
ness, hopelessness, loss of interest in normal activities,
and lack of energy
desensitize To make somebody less sensitive
demeaning Humiliating someone by reducing them to a
much lower status
dignity A sense of pride and self-respect
93
diplomacy The process of communicating and managing

relationships between nations
discipline The method adults use to ensure children follow
certain rules. Discipline usually involves teaching rules
and having consequences for breaking them.
empathy A person’s ability to understand how another per-
son feels
ethnic Belonging to a certain group by descent or culture
and not by nationality
impulsive Acting on urges without thinking about the con-
sequences first
intimidate To persuade someone to do or not do something
by scaring him or her; for example, by threatening harm to
the person or his or her family
insecure Lacking self-confidence
legislation Laws passed by the government
media literate Being able to analyze and understand media
messages
paranoia Extreme or unreasonable suspicion of other
people
passive Not participating actively; letting others make
decisions
positive social skills Social skills that help a person get along
with others. Positive social skills include cooperation, tol-
erating differences, and solving conflicts without fighting.
precinct A small area of a city or town
provocative Purposely annoying people or trying to make
them angry
self-esteem The way you feel about yourself. A person with
high self-esteem values him- or herself; a person with low
self-esteem does not value him- or herself.
stereotype An oversimplified image of a group of people that
shares certain common traits
submissive Giving in to the demands of others
unique Not like anything else
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060406>Peterson.bullies.html. (12/05/07)
“Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice? That’s not what some
girls are made of.” University of Minnesota College of Edu-
cation and Human Development. 2007. Available online.
URL: http://cehd.umn.edu/Pubs/ResearchWorks/Crick.
html. (1/27/08)
Szymanski, Tekla. “Jacobo Timerman: Uncompromising Jour-
nalist.” World Press Review. January 2000.
“Take Action Against Bullying.” SAMHSA’s National Mental
Health Information Center. 2003. Available online. URL:
http://mentalhealth.samhsa.gov/publications/allpubs/
SVP-0056/. (1/13/08)
“This Honorable Court: Court Cases Brought by Bullied Stu-
dents.” Raven Days. Available online. URL: http://www.
ravendays.org/court.html. (12/05/07)
U.S. Arm-Twisting. Global Policy Forum. Available online. URL:
http://www.globalpolicy.org/security/issues/iraq/attack/
armtwistindex.htm. (3/13/08)
Bibliography 103
U.S. Secret Service and U.S. Department of Education. The

Final Report of the Safe School Initiative. Washington, D.C.
May 2002.
VanNuys, Melanie. “The Bully Spectrum.” Preteenagers Today.
Available online. URL: http://www.preteenagerstoday.com/
articles/1100. (1/17/08)
“Violent Video Games Can Increase Aggression.” April 23,
2000. American Psychological Association. Available online.
URL: http://www.apa.org/releases/videogames.html.
Webb, Patrick. “Beliefs and Bullying: Factors Associated with
Peer Victimization Among Youth.” ERIC. October 2006. Avail-
able online. URL: http://www.eric.ed.gov/ERICWebPortal/
custom/portlets/recordDetails/detailmini.jsp?_nfpb=true&_
&ERICExtSearch_SearchValue_0=ED493749&ERICExtSearch_
SearchType_0=no&accno=ED493749. (3/24/08)
Wessler, Stephen L. The Respectful School. Alexandria, Va.: Asso-
ciation for Supervision and Curriculum Development, 2003.
“What Can You Do to Prevent Bullying in Your School?”
Girlshealth.gov. Available online. URL: http://www.
girlshealth.gov/bullying/stopping.school.htm. (2/26/08)
“What Is Cyberbullying, Exactly?” Stop Cyberbullying. Available
online. URL: http://www.stopcyberbullying.org/what_is_
cyberbullying_exactly.html. (1/13/08)
“When Your Child Is a Bully.” National Crime Prevention Coun-
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by-audience/parents/bullying/when-your-child-is-a-bully.
Willard, Nancy. “Parent Guide to Cyberbullying and Cyber-
threats.” 2007. Available online. URL: http://www.
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The Workplace Bullying Institute Web Site. Available online.
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cate. September-October 2002. Action Alliance for Children.
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902/bulle.htm. (1/24/08)
FURTHER RESOURCES
BOOKS
Beard, Candy J. Please Don’t Cry, Cheyenne. PublishAmerica,
2007.
Humphrey, Sandra Mcleod. Hot Issues, Cool Choices: Facing Bul-
lies, Peer Pressure, Popularity, and Put-downs. Prometheus
Books, 2007.
Knapp, J. Richard. Bobby’s Story. Thornton Publishing, 2006.
Schwartz, Susan, Coping with Cliques: A Workbook to Help
Girls Deal with Gossip, Put-downs, Bullying, and Other Mean
Behavior. New Harbinger, 2008.
Slavens, Elaine. Bullying: Deal with It Before Push Comes to
Shove. Lorimer, 2003.
Winkler, Kathleen. Bullying: How to Deal with Taunting, Teasing,
and Tormenting. Enslow Publishers, 2005.
WEB SITES
McGruff
http://www.mcgruff.org
The National Crime Prevention Council’s anti-bullying Web site for
young people. Includes games, advice, and more.
PACER Center’s Kids Against Bullying

http://www.pacerkidsagainstbullying.org
Includes games, polls, and contests about putting a stop to bullying.
Stop Bullying Now!

http://stopbullyingnow.hrsa.gov
The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services Web site about
bullying for young people.
104
PICTURE CREDITS
Page:
15 Angela Hampton 63 Wilfredo Lee/AP
Picture Library/Alamy Images
19 AP Images 65 Hulton Archive/
Newscom
21 ©Infobase Publishing
67 Newscom
23 George Skene/MCT/
Landov 69 Newscom
70 Newscom
33 Newscom
72 Newscom
37 Lester Cohen/Newscom
73 LBJ Library and
49 Mika Fuentes/MCT/
Museum
Landov
86 Newscom
51 AP Images
89 Courtesy of Nickole
56 Newscom Evans
58 Newscom 92 Communications Nova
61 Newscom Scotia/Michael Creagen
105
INDEX
A reactive, 28–29
acne, 22 reformed, 28
adults understanding, 25–31
bullying among, 64–79 Bully B’ware productions,
aggressive 18, 20
behavior, 27, 29, 55–57, 59, bullying
62, 80 attitudes about, 13
relational, 30 behavior, 13
Aguilera, Christina, 34, 37 court cases, 30, 77
alcohol and drug use dealing with, 41–53
after bullying, 20, 23–24 defined, 14–17
American Academy of Child and the law, 49–50, 77–79
and Adolescent Psychiatry, in the media, 54–63
55, 57 in politics, 64–76
American Idol (television prevention, 28, 31, 40
show), 57 research, 14, 16, 18, 20,
America’s Funniest Home 23–28, 30–32, 34–36, 39,
Videos (television show), 57 41, 55
Anderson, Craig, 59 tragic results of, 13, 16,
anti-bullying programs, 48 18–20
legislation, 49–50, 77, 83 types of, 17–19, 29–31, 47,
spokespeople, 28, 89 76–77
anti-prejudice clubs, 84–85 in the workplace, 64,
anxiety disorders, 22, 25, 78 76–79
Argentina, 66 Bully Police USA, 50
asthma attacks, 22 Bush, George W., 68, 70
attention deficit disorder bystanders
(ADD), 38 and bullying, 14, 24, 48,
attention deficit/ hyperactivity 50, 52–54
disorder (AHDD), 46 passive, 50–51
research, 48
B
Bale, Christian, 37 C
Baker, James, 68 Center for Safe and
Banks, Tyra, 34, 37 Responsible Internet
body image, 43 Use, 47
body language, 42 Chaney, James, 52
bullies Children and Adults with
encouragement, 54 Attention-Deficit/
handling, 45–46, 48 Hyperactivity Disorder
harm to, 14, 22–24, 80 (CHADD), 39
help for, 31 Civil Rights movement,
home life of, 26–27, 30–31 51–52, 84
needs, 26 Clinton, Bill, 34, 37, 75
106
Index 107
Clinton, Hillary Rodham, 71, G

75–76 getting involved, 43–44
“Coalition of the Coerced,” 71 Giraffe Heroes project, 89–90
“Coalition of the Willing,” 70 Goldwater, Barry, 73
Columbine High School Goodman, Andrew, 52
shooting, 16, 59 gossiping, 17
Common Sense Media, 55–56 Great Britain, 70
compassion, 85–87
confidence H
acting, 41–43 Harris, Eric, 16, 59
need for, 25 Health and Human Services
conflict, 29 Department, 18
defined, 14–17 Healthy Workplace Bill, 77
resolutions, 60, 62, 87–88, Houston, Whitney, 37
90–91 Humanitas Prize, 61
Crick, Nicki, 30–31
Cruise, Tom, 37, 86 I
cyberbullying (online indirect bullying
bullying) examples of, 17, 30, 39, 53,
examples of, 17–19, 47 73, 78
injustice, 51–52
D Institute of Child Health and
depression, 19, 22, 91 Human Development, 18
Dickens, Charles intolerance, 62, 82–85
Oliver Twist, 14 iParenting.com, 26
different Iraq
ethnic and cultural, 34, invasions of, 68–71
81–84
direct bullying, 17, 24, 29–30 J
and bystanders, 50 jealousy, 34
Doescher, Joe, 77 Johnson, Lyndon B., 64, 73
E K
Education, Department of, Klebold, Dylan, 16, 59
13, 16 Ku Klux Klan, 51–52, 71
Emerson, Ralph Waldo, 41
Ethics Commission, 74 L
Evans, Nickole, 90 Ladd, Gary, 32, 34
learning disabilities, 37–39
F loneliness, 36
Federal Communications Lovato, Demi, 37
Commission, 63
Fox, Vicente, 69–70 M
friends Marano, Hara Estroff, 27
lack of, 23 media
protection against bullying in, 16, 28, 54–63
bullying, 20, 31, 44–45 literate, 58, 60, 62
Medlock, Ann, 89–90 prejudice

Meier, Megan, 19 reducing, 28, 62, 83–84
mental health problems, 22, 78 Price, Travis, 91
Mexico, 69–70 Project on Campaign Conduct,
“My Bullying Nearly Killed Her” 75
(television show), 25 Psychology Today, 27, 34–35
MySpace web site, 19
R
N racism, 34, 71
National School Safety Security reactive bullies, 29
Services, 50 relational bullying, 17, 29–31
negative campaigning, 72–73 respect, 81–82
effects of, 74–75 responsibility, 81
research, 75 Rodkin, Philip, 22
Nemours Foundations Center rumor
for Children’s Health spreading of, 45, 50, 53,
Media, 23 73, 78
O S
Obama, Barack, 71, 73–76 Safe Schools Initiative, 16
Oliver Twist (Dickens), 14 school
Olweus, Dan changing bullying in,
bullying research, 14, 16, 80–92
18, 20, 24–25, 35 shootings, 13, 16
online bullying. see Schwartz, David, 35
cyberbullying Schwerner, Michael, 52
Secret Service, 13, 16
P self-esteem
panic attacks, 22 building, 42, 45
paranoia, 27, 29 low, 25, 78
Partners Against Hate, 82, 85 Shepherd, David, 91–92
passive personalities, 35–36 Singer, Jerome L., 54
Patterson, Gerald, 27 sleep disorders, 22, 78
peer Smith, Donna, 26
acceptance, 27, 31, 54 social
peer mediation, 87–88, 90–91 isolation, 35–36, 85
Perrin-Hayes, Robert, 82–83 outcasts, 16
Perry, David, 28 skills, 28
phobias, 22 values, 61
Pieffer, Michelle, 38 South Africa
politics apartheid, 64–65
bullying in, 64–76 government, 64–66
popularity Soweto Uprising, 66
and bullying, 22–23, 25 Spivak, Howard, 18
post-traumatic stress disorder, SpongeBob SquarePants
22, 78 (television show), 56, 58
power and control standing up
and bullying, 16–17, 23, for others, 51
26–28 for yourself, 36
Index 109
stereotyping, 62, 83–84 help for, 40, 44, 50–53

stress how it hurts, 14, 16, 18–22,
physical effects of, 78, 80
20–22, 78 internal characteristics,
Students Against Violence 34–36, 38–40
Everywhere (S.A.V.E.), 90 provocative, 36, 38–40
Substance Abuse and reactions, 26, 29, 36,
Mental Health Services 39–41, 45–46, 53
Administration (SAMHSA), understanding, 32–40, 87
24 video games
suicide and bullying, 59
after being bullied, 13, 16, research, 59
19–20 violence, 16, 36
warning signs, 20 attitudes about, 57
and crimes, 24
T in the home, 26
Timerman, Jacobo, 66 in school, 87
tolerance on TV, 55–58, 60, 62–63
of bullying, 14, 30, 79
of differences, 81–82 W
Tufts University, 18 weapons of mass destruction,
68
U Whitewater scandal, 75
United Nations Willard, Nancy, 47
resolution, 68–69 Winslet, Kate, 38
Security Council, 68–69 Wong, Eugene, 74
United States Wong, Walter, 74
government bullying, Woods, Tiger, 34, 37
67–71 workplace
politics, 71–76 bullying in, 24, 64, 76–79
laws, 77–79
V Workplace Bullying Institute,
victims of bullying 76–78
external characteristics,
32–34, 85 Z
famous, 34, 37–38 Zimmerman, Frederick, 55
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
AND CONSULTANTS
Alexa Gordon Murphy has an M.A. in professional writing
from the University of Massachusetts at Dartmouth. She has
written many educational materials on character educa-
tion and bullying, including interactive presentation kits for
teachers and parents and workbooks for elementary, middle
school, and high school children. Murphy is a freelance writer
and editor. She lives in New England with her husband, chil-
dren, and pets.
Series consultant Dr. Madonna Murphy is a professor of edu-

cation at the University of St. Francis in Joliet, Illinois, where
she teaches education and character education courses to
teachers. She is the author of Character Education in America’s
Blue Ribbon Schools and History & Philosophy of Education:
Voices of Educational Pioneers. She has served as the charac-
ter education consultant for a series of more than 40 charac-
ter education books for elementary school children, on the
Character Education Partnership’s Blue Ribbon Award com-
mittee recognizing K-12 schools for their character education,
and on a national committee for promoting character educa-
tion in teacher education institutions.
Series consultant Sharon L. Banas was a middle school

teacher in Amherst and Tonawanda, New York, for more
than 30 years. She led the Sweet Home Central School Dis-
trict in the development of its nationally acclaimed character
education program. In 1992, Sharon was a member of the
Aspen Conference, drafting the Aspen Declaration that was
approved by the U.S. Congress. In 2001, she published Caring
Messages for a School Year. She has been married to her hus-
band Doug for 37 years. They have a daughter, son, and new
granddaughter.
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Dealing with

Being Fair and Honest

Dealing with Bullying

Dealing with Frustration and Anger

Handling Peer Pressure

Handling Teamwork and Respect for Others

Managing Conflict Resolution

ALEXA GORDON MURPHY

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or utilized

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Chelsea House books are available at special discounts when

Text design by Annie O’Donnell

Printed in the United States

This book is printed on acid-free paper.

often do not recognize when they are in a situation that calls

They will be able to deal with frustration and anger, manage

The virtues we get by first exercising them . . . so too we

This development of one’s character is truly The Ultimate

more. These books will correlate well with national social

Madonna M. Murphy, Ph.D.

Sharon L. Banas, M.Ed.

passage for kids. It hurts everyone involved: victims, bullies,

Bullying: A Timeless ­Problem

Bullying involves treating someone abusively, either physically, verbally, or

conflict is when two or more people disagree about

Bullying is different. According to Olweus, “A student

THE TRAGIC RESULTS OF BULLYING

Because of this power relationship, emotional reactions

THE MANY TYPES OF BULLYING

of bullying because it reaches many people at one time and

HOW BULLYING HURTS VICTIMS

friends, teachers, and classmates. No matter how bad a person may

> Talking about suicide

Productions (www.bullybeware.com) that her experience

hormones adrenaline and cortisol. These hormones help

the stress can lead to a range of physical symptoms, such as

BULLYING HURTS KIDS THAT BULLY

may be some of the most popular kids in elementary school

Services Administration (SAMHSA), some even get involved

WHAT ABOUT EVERYONE ELSE?

There are specific needs that drive a bully’s behavior.

> A need to feel powerful and control others

The need to feel powerful may be the most important fac-

figure in and around school. If other kids don’t support bully-

CAN POWER BE POSITIVE?

at Florida Atlantic University, these kids get angry and upset

WHAT ABOUT RELATIONAL BULLYING?

Most researchers believe that the home lives of kids who

BULLYING IN THE COURTS

> In 2004, three Seattle, Washington, kids who beat up one

jealous and possessive of their children. Crick has also found

HELP FOR BULLIES

WHY SOME KIDS ARE SINGLED OUT:

picked on because of their size. They may be younger or

As a young boy, multiracial golf star Tiger Woods was

President Bill Clinton was bullied as a child because he was

WHY SOME KIDS BECOME REPEAT VICTIMS:

and unattractive.” As a result, they may be even more reluc-

Passive Response to Bullying

FAMOUS PEOPLE WHO WERE BULLIED

> Singer and actress Demi

> Actress Michelle Pfeiffer remembers running home from

All of these former victims of bullying managed to overcome these

Bullying: A Timeless Problem