“Not Your Typical Multiple Choice”

Watching “Sophie’s Choice” made me remember these three terms I have

before heard from our Ethics class: Dilemma, Issue, and Problem. Sophie
Zawistowski, the titular character, experienced a very rough life and had several
dilemmas and problems. One of the ethical issues in the film was choosing which
between her two beloved young children will she give up to the SS officer since only
one is allowed to live. Of course no mother on earth would ever want to give up to let
them die, especially in that situation. But with a very heavy heart, when both of her
children was about to be taken by the Officer, she chose to keep her son and give her
daughter, Eva, to be the one sentenced to death. A very heart breaking choice for a
mother. Though if she didn’t make a choice, both of her children would have died.
However, this decision of her has haunted her for years, caused her depression,
thinking she doesn’t deserve to live and enjoy life knowing at the back of her head,
her daughter has died because of her, and trauma about having married again,
children and family. Another dilemma of hers was when she wanted to take the
Commandant’s daughter’s radio since she is in dire need of knowing what the
Germans are planning to do with them. She saw the door unlocked, an opportunity
finally, and she gave an attempt to this plan of hers which however failed.
Love is a very big part of this film, and has become Sophie’s intention and drive
after all the hardships and sacrifices she has encountered. From when she was young
until the day she died. Choosing to stay with and beside Nathan after all the
harassments, verbal and physical abuse she underwent is for me, the Sophie’s
choice. Even when Nathan turns deadly and scary with all his delusions and death
threats whenever he was in one of his “episodes,” deep down inside, Sophie knows
that the good and loving man she has fallen in love with is still in there somewhere
inside of him. Scared for her life, and sometimes tired of all the abuse she is receiving,
she has once thought of somehow going with Stingo, leave Nathan, and live a happy
life in the South. However, at the end of the day, just like what she always does, she
comes back to the arms of her lover, Nathan. I can strongly remember how she always
tells Stingo, “You don’t know Nathan. You don’t understand him.” Without knowing

CALUGAY, Joselle Joy A.

why Nathan is like that, the truth about his mental illness, she loved him to the fullest,
never judged him and never left him all alone, and I applaud Sophie for that.
I think it really is true when people say, “Love is blind.” People most of the times
perceive that saying negatively, but for me, I think it is beautiful. Maybe, if I were
Sophie in this situation, I would also do the same. In love, forgiveness and
understanding should always be there. We are humans and we will never be perfect
and we will always make mistakes. It is important we fix our problems and
miscommunications at the end of the day. It is important we never give up even if we
think we’re tired of all the fighting. It is important we give chances again. It is important
to remember all the years and moments you both created, the reasons why after all
this time you stayed, the problems you both helped each other go through. It is
important we choose them every day. Because if love was that easy, no love will ever
succeed in this world full hatred and judgement. In this particular scene, I honestly
somehow saw myself in Sophie. I went through almost the same concept of dilemma
she had. I think, choosing between “saving” yourself from the toxicity of the
relationship and saving the relationship is indeed a dilemma and an ethical issue. But
personally, I have learned that if it really is love, at the end of the day, both of you will
do something to work it out. Sacrifices will of course be made, sometimes even
changes that we don’t want to do due to the habits we used to have. But in order to
save yourself, and also the relationship, personally, I have learned that understanding
and “meeting halfway” are the keys. This is why I applaud Sophie and agree to her
decision as well.
I once came upon this article online about the explanation of the 80/20 rule,
and I think it needs to be added to this writing of mine.
“We, as humans, are always looking for the next best thing because as we all
know, the grass is always greener on the other side, right? Wrong. This is what
the 80/20 rule teaches you. Generally, when in a relationship, you get about 80
percent of what you want. This sounds pretty good because it’s such a high
percentage. However, we are also craving for that other 20 percent. We fight
over it, we break up over it and complain about it because as we always want

CALUGAY, Joselle Joy A.

 what we can’t have. Say your boyfriend or girlfriend is SO great—loyal,
attentive, supportive and caring. However, they aren’t as social as you. You
always want to go out with friends, go to parties and hang in groups but they
would rather hang out at home or Netflix and chill. Instead of focusing on the
80 percent of things you want and are actually receiving, you focus on the 20
percent that shows your significant other being asocial. Then comes the day
you meet your 20 percent. They’re outgoing, always up to hang out, and never
turns down an opportunity to party. They seem perfect. They are that 20 percent
you are missing. So what do you do? You naturally think this person is a better
match for you and so you break up with your current significant other for this
person. This all seems perfect, now you have everything you want, right? Nope.
You will soon realize even though you have that 20 percent, you ONLY have
20 percent. You no longer are getting 80 percent of what you want because you
left that for the SINGLE aspect that you were missing to begin with. The 20
percent is dangled in front of your face looking like the ideal option, but you
forget when you go after the one thing you were missing, you lose everything
you had…” -Unknown
I think this can be associated to the scene where Stingo asks Sophie to run away with
him to the South, leave Nathan and everything behind, have a family with him, and
live a happy life. Nathan was Sophie’s 80 percent, and Stingo was the rest 20. All
those may seem appealing to Sophie, but fortunately, she realized that saying yes to
Stingo would be a very selfish decision, to Nathan, and to Stingo as well. It would be
unfair to Nathan who only has Sophie. It would be unfair to Stingo, because the one
she actually loves is Nathan in the first place. And it would also be unfair to her, since
saying yes to Stingo, will only kill her thoughts for the days to pass. The choices she
had conflict with each other and I think choosing to go back to Nathan is just the most
appropriate decision to make in this situation.
We all have to go through dilemmas. Sometimes, we make the bad choice but
fortunately, the battle scars we get from them make us stronger and wiser. As the
famous saying goes, “Experience is the best teacher.”

CALUGAY, Joselle Joy A.