Samantha Norris

Eng 101

Waltman

September 6, 2019

Summary and Response Essay

In Emily Vallowe’s literacy narrative, “Write or Wrong Identity” she explores herself and

her past in order to justify her personal identity as a writer. Vallowe begins by telling the reader

about her early years, and how teachers, in some words, dubbed her “the writer” (77). Vallowe

then goes on to explain that this is the start of her identity crisis in which she doesn’t know if

being a writer is truly what she's meant to be. Vallowe then jumps to her later years to explain

how she is now questioning who she is since as a child, she was always called the writer, so how

is she supposed to be anything, or anyone, else. She is scared that by always being a writer, she

missed out on other parts of herself. I understand this feeling of identity crisis that Vallowe has

and can relate through how I’ve always been told I’m an artist, and how I don’t know if that’s

really what I’m good at in life.

Similarly to Vallowe, I’ve always been told I’m an amazing artist. Yet I don’t believe this

to be true. Don’t get me wrong, I’m aware that I’m a good artist and that I’m a very creative

person. I just don’t think being an artist is what I’m supposed to be in life. Vallowe emphasizes
that “teachers like to recognize kids for their strengths” and growing up, all teachers (especially

art teachers) have noted my artistic skills to me (77). This acknowledgment is what made me

want to create works and try to push out more ​art​. So I started taking art classes throughout high

school and my work was okay; however, looking around at my peers' work, they were always so

much better than mine. All the other kids could seemingly just pop out these amazing

masterpieces while my art was mediocre and took forever to make compared to them. I even

remember during my junior year one girl, Michelle, who was hands down the best artist in the

school (I mean she won awards from the state for her art), telling me my art was ‘terrible’; and I

remember feeling so crushed that I was fighting back tears in the middle of class when she said

this. Normally things like this I could brush off, but Michelle had been one of my closest friends

since Kindergarten. How could one of my best friends be able to tell me to my face my art was

terrible if it weren’t true? After that semester of her sitting next to me and continually judging

my art, I dropped all of my art classes for the remainder of high school. This is when I really

started questioning if I was even good at art but it didn’t stop me from trying on my own time. I

just stopped showing my art to others. I was too embarrassed to own up to the works I made, and

even I at that point thought everything I made was not even worth my time anymore. It stayed

like this for a long time where I ignored the creative side of myself.

My parents did the same as my teachers and always praised my art. I made simple things

when I was young. Such as colorings, pastel drawings, and some paintings (just normal things a

creative kid would make). They would continuously tell me how amazing my creations were.

This caused me, at an early age, to do the same as Vallowe, as “[she] declared [herself] to be a
writer and … clung to this writer identity”(77). As I grew older the things I would make grew as

well. My favorite element to use is paint whether it’s watercolor, acrylic, or oil paintings.

However, I also draw a lot. I would draw anything and anywhere because I wanted to practice. I

wanted to be better than I thought I was. Even though I’m unsure of it; I’ve declared myself an

artist to the point it’s what I’m going to college for. I’m majoring in interior design, and I still

draw anything, but now it’s mainly buildings I think are pretty or floor plans of a building I’m in.

I still do this because I want to be better at drawing and to prepare for my career. But now I don’t

think this is what I’m meant to be. After my work being bashed so many times, I started

reflecting on myself and my skill level as an artist. I don’t think I’m a terrible artist, and now I

personally think some of the things I create are pretty well done. I just now believe I’m simply

good at being a problem solver and a creative person and that everyone else told me this skill

was art. Therefore I’ve always pushed that skillset onto myself wanting to be an artist when it

was just critical thinking and engineering that I’m good at. I’m not sure which one is right or if

there is even a true difference, but I do know something feels wrong.

This uncertainty of not knowing what I’m really good at feels to me as Vallowes conveys

her feelings of not knowing what makes her a good writer. When talking about her feelings of

not being a writer Vallowe says “if a writer was the only thing that [she] had ever been, what

would happen if writing was a lie”; and in my eyes, this is her expressing her fear of only ever

associating herself as a writer (79). I can relate to this fear of not knowing if I’m good at

anything other than being an artist since I’ve never tried to be anything else. I’m scared of what

might happen if I do find out that I’m better at other things. What if everything I’ve based my
life off of is a lie as well? I’m worried that I’m right and that this skill I have isn’t art and that

I’m wasting my life being so focused on becoming a designer. I even changed my major back

and forth several times titering between interior design or architectural engineer during my first

few weeks of college. I can’t get it out of my head that I’m bad at what I do and that I’m going to

fail. However, as Vallowe says “this questioning is not going to stop” and if being an artist is

what I’ve always been whos’ to say I have to be good at something else; and if it’s what I love to

do, then why should I need to be something else.(80) While it is scary thinking you could be

missing part of yourself you’ve never even known, you can’t hold back on what you know you

are or what others have known you to be. Therefore, I’m sticking with interior design and

hopefully one day after college I’ll reach my goal of being a movie set designer in Atlanta.

While in her narrative “Write or Wrong Identity” Vallowe expresses she is scared that

she isn’t good enough as a writer. I have also felt this way regarding my skills as an artist.

Vallowe also tells this narrative to express that doubt and fear have always followed her through

her life, however, the thought of failure can’t keep her from doing what she’s good at and what

she loves. I’ve gone through a similar journey in accepting my work as an artist, as I’ve

continually pushed myself to ignore the thought of not being good enough. If the thought of

failure is allowed to linger, no one would ever accomplish their goals due to the fear of not being

good enough and no one, including me, would ever find where they’re supposed to be in the

world.
Reflection

When deciding on which reading I wanted to write about I had a hard time choosing between

this one and Bragg’s “All Over but the Shoutin’”. As I read both stories I made my notes on how

I felt and related to them on the sided margins every time the reading conveyed emotion in me.

This is because I related to both of them on a personal level, with Vallowes I obviously related to

her identity crisis and a lot of her experiences. With Bragg’s, I related to him losing his father

and not knowing if he could forgive him. I feel like I relate to Bragg’s story to a tee and it would

have definitely been easier to write a response to his story. However, I didn’t want to just write

sad facts about my life for people to read because quite frankly who wants to read about that. I

choose to write about Vallowes story to tell my own story about my childhood and me coming

terms with myself and accepting what I love was truly a good story people would be able to read

and see my connection to Vallowe without feeling particularly bad for me and being engaged in

the essay.
Vallowe, Emily. “Write or Wrong Identity.” ​The Norton Feild Guide to Writing with Readings

and Handbook, 5​ th ed., edited by Richard Bullock, Maureen Daly Goggin, and Francine

Weinberg, W.W. Norton & Company, 2019, pp.75-81.