"We work, but success is from Allah; we move, but the Almighty guides us; we serve our people

with
sincerity, but God grants us success based on our intentions. Guidance is from Allah, care is from Allah
and protection is from Allah."

You're entitled to your opinions inside your own head. But if you choose to express them out in the world,
it's your responsibility to: (1) Ground them in logic and facts (2) Explain your reasoning to others (3)
Change them when better evidence emerges

As the saying goes: ‘A wolf may lose his teeth but not his nature.’

A responsible government has the duty to honour promises made during an electoral campaign. An audit
of measures enumerated in the electoral manifesto will highlight those that have not yet been
implemented. Trust can only be earned when promises are kept. Working seriously in a transparent
manner towards the implementation of promises not yet materialised enhances the credibility of any
government, especially during the ultimate year in office.

Always remember what Vladimir Putin said on the way to handle terrorists. ‘only God has the power to
judge . My job is to send them to God’.’

Being effective at thoughtful disagreement requires one to be open-minded (seeing things through the
other’s eyes) and assertive (communicating clearly how things look through your eyes) and to flexibly
process this information to create learning and adaptation.

Most of your life’s problems would melt away if you meditated & worked out routinely. These 2 things
will get your mind strong. A strong mind does not see 'problems.' It sees 'solutions in the making.'

A tortoise and a hare had an argument about who was faster. They decided to settle the argument with a
race. They agreed on a route and set off. The hare shot ahead and ran briskly for some time. Seeing that
he was far ahead of the tortoise, he fell asleep under a tree. The tortoise overtook the hare and soon
finished the race, emerging as the winner.

Moral 1: Slow & Steady wins the race.

The hare realized that he had lost the race only because of his complacency and over-confidence. Had he
not taken things for granted, the tortoise could not have beaten him. So he challenged the tortoise to
another race. The tortoise agreed. This time, the hare went all out and ran without stopping from start to
finish. He won by several miles.

Moral 2: Fast & Consistent will always beat the slow and steady. It's good to be slow and steady, but it's
better to be fast & consistent.

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The tortoise realized that there's no way he could beat the hare in a race the way it was currently
formatted. He thought for a while and then challenged the hare to another race, but on a slightly different
route. The hare agreed. They started off, in keeping with his self-made commitment to be consistently
fast, the hare took off and ran at top speed until he came to a river. The finishing line was a couple of
meters on the other side of the river. The hare sat there wondering what to do. In the meantime, the
tortoise got to the river, swam to the opposite bank, continued walking and finished the race.

Moral 3: First, identify your Core Competency and then change the playing field to suit your core
competency.

Working on the basis of your strengths will not only get you noticed, but will also create opportunities for
growth and advancement.

The story continues. The hare and the tortoise, by this time, had become good friends and they did some
thinking together. They decided to run the race again, but this time, as a team. They started off, and this
time, the hare carried the tortoise till the riverbank. Then, the tortoise took over and they reached the
finishing line together. They both felt a greater sense of happiness, satisfaction, and success.

Moral 4: It is good to be individually motivated and to have strong core competencies, but unless you're
able to work in a team and harness each other's core competencies, you'll always perform below par,
because there will always be situations where you do poorly and someone else does relatively well.

Teamwork is mainly about situational leadership, letting the person with the relevant core competency in
the situation take the leadership.

Neither the hare nor the tortoise gave up after failure. The tortoise changed his strategy because he was
already working as hard as he could. Sometimes, you just have to change your strategy and try something
different. And sometimes it is appropriate to do both.

When we stop competing against a rival and, instead, start competing against the situation, we perform
far better.

The Japanese have always loved fresh fish. But when it comes to their waters - they haven't held many
fish for decades. Naturally, the fishermen had to go further out into the sea to secure their supply of fish.
Their fishing boats just got bigger and bigger.

The farther the fishermen went, the longer it took them to bring in the fish to the mainland - and into the
markets. If the return trip took more than a few days, the fish lost their freshness and with it - the fresh
taste the Japanese craved.

To solve this problem, fishing companies installed freezers on their boats. They would catch the fish and
freeze them at sea. Freezers allowed the boats to go farther and stay longer - allowing for increased
supplies. However, the Japanese could literally taste the differencebetween frozen and fresh fish. Frozen
fish, of course, weren't as appetizing as their fresh counterparts. To add to the trouble, the frozen sort
fetched a lower price at the stores.

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Fresh fish should not smell fishy - at all

What the shipping companies did subsequently was rather innovative.They installed fish tanks in the large
fishing boats. They would catch the fish and stuff them in the tanks, fin to fin. But frugality comes with its
fair share of issues - after a little thrashing around in the tank, the fish stopped moving. By the time they
reached the mainland, the fish were tired and dull, but alive. The Japanese could tell. As the fish hadn't
moved for days, they lost their fresh aroma.

Something had to be done. How did the Japanese fish company solve this problem? To keep the fish
tasting fresh, the Japanese added a small shark to the tanks that the fish were kept in. The shark did eat
a few fish, but most of the fish arrived at the mainland in a lively state due to the fact that the fish were
challenged at all times - within the tank. This kept them moving - just as they were at sea - fresh.

Challenge yourself every day, push yourself to the boundaries.

Keep the shark inside you alive.

Knowing where to keep your savings and planning short and long-term financial needs is vital. Once you
have the logistics in order, you can focus on seeking out new experiences, gaining new skills and learning
more about your new environment

I believe that leadership is not just about having a position or a title, it's more about having a specific set
of traits or qualities that make people believe in you and inspire them to become their best. So, whether
you are someone who has just been called a “leadership material” by his/her boss or someone who is
looking to develop as a leader, here are ten rare traits that prove you are meant to lead people:

Charismatic

Great leaders are magnetizing and charming. They have a quality in them that inspires devotion in their
followers. So, if you believe that you are meant to be a leader, you have to have that great charisma in
you. That means you should be comfortable going outside your comfort zone to influence and inspire
people to do what you want.

Optimistic

Where others might think that a project or task is too difficult to carry forward, a leader always thinks
about overcoming the challenges with positivity and optimism. Now, optimism can be a little contagious,
so it's important that you keep your attitude in check and set a definite tone for the business and the
people involved.

Self-motivated

A leader is always supposed to go above and beyond what's expected. To do that, he/she must have the
passion to become the best and the motivation to get things done better than everyone else. In order to
achieve success as a leader in the industry, you need to be motivated (always) and trust me, you have to
do it yourself (every time).

Decisive

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Next, a person who leads people should have the ability to make strong decisions and stand by them. The
decisions you make as a leader are meant to have a profound impact on masses. That is why it is important
that you consult others before taking a decision. After all, they are the ones who will be affected by your
decision and they need to know what's coming ahead.

Good Communicator

You can never achieve the desired results until you communicate the vision and strategy with the people
involved in the project/task. This brings us to the next trait of a successful leader, which is communication
skills. Simply put, if you’re not able to clearly communicate with your team, you can never be good at your
job that is - being a leader.

Active listener

Apart from having great communication skills, a good leader should also have the ability to listen to others
and more importantly, value their opinion. In order to achieve the unthinkable, you will need many great
ideas. So, it's important that you encourage your team to provide their feedback regarding the things that
are happening in the workplace. Also, be responsive to the views and opinions of those you lead. That
means if you get something that’s worth implementing, give it a try.

Resourceful

Being resourceful means being able to find instant solutions when faced with a challenge. A leader
understands all the resources available at his/her disposal and knows how to adjust them to best match
the situation.

Accountable

One of the most important traits that people expect to find in a leader is accountability. Being accountable
means that the person accepts responsibility for the outcomes he/she achieves, both good and bad. The
same is expected from a leader. As a leader, you shouldn't be blaming others or the situation whenever
things go out of your control. If you've taken the initiative to influence the outcome, have the guts to take
responsibility for the results.

Appreciative

A wise leader understands the importance of appreciating and rewarding the efforts of the team or the
person. He/she understands the fact that success is only achieved when everyone works together.
Moreover, a few words of appreciation can boost confidence in team members and encourage them to
perform at the edge of their abilities.

Tech-savvy

Technology is affecting business in many ways, as a result, the demand for automated solutions like
project management software or a team collaboration tool is increasing in every industry. In fact, almost
every part of the business relies on technology to get their work done successfully. Now, a leader should
understand every aspect of the business that includes information technology, today. Remember, a leader
who doesn't understand 'today's technology' is basically a liability.

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In any conversation, there is a responsibility to express and a responsibility to listen. Misinterpretations
and misunderstandings are always going to happen. Often, difficulty in communication is due to people
having different ways of thinking (e.g., left-brained thinkers talking to right-brained thinkers). The parties
involved should always consider the possibility that one or both of them misunderstood and do a back-
and-forth so that they can get in sync. Very simple tricks—like repeating what you’re hearing someone
say to make sure you’re actually getting it—can be invaluable. Start by assuming you’re either not
communicating or listening well instead of blaming the other party. Learn from your miscommunications
so they don’t happen again.

Tip 1 of 5: Establish your Authority: Your formal authority may be limited as defined by your position or
title but your informal authority could be unlimited based on your knowledge and expertise. When people
know your potential, they start to give you the due respect and treat you as an expert. Let the world know
about your credentials, background and relevant experiences. Boldly and aggressively describe your
achievements and accomplishments on your LinkedIn profile and invite your seniors and other colleagues
to connect. They are sure going to notice it and respect your authority and expertise.

Tip 2 of 5: Create a Personal Brand: Distinguish yourself from others. Stand out from the crowd. Dress
decently. Create an admirable lifestyle. Prepare well before going to meetings and speak selectively and
distinctly. Behave and communicate in a highly professional manner. Setup your workspace in clean and
professional manner. Arrive at work 15 minutes early and leave at least 30 minutes late. Do all these things
in such a manner that people start to notice you differentiated from others.

Tip 3 of 5: Develop your Emotional Intelligence (EQ): Emotional Intelligence is one of the most powerful
skills of great leaders. It’s about self-awareness with a deep connection to the feelings and emotions of
others. While IQ takes you through the college, EQ takes you through the career. Unfortunately, despite
the critical importance of this leadership skill we do not usually get any formal training. Some people are
naturally gifted in this skill but most are not. Good news is that it is a developable skill. Read a few articles
on Emotional Intelligence or read the book ‘Emotional Intelligence at Work’ by Weisinger. Practice using
emotional intelligence by trying to connect with people at emotional level.

Tip 4 of 5: Build your Relationship: You don’t sell your products or services to your customers; you sell
relationship. That is the power of relationship. It dominates the emotional side or the right brain and
blindfolds our logical mind. With strong relationship you can turn people in your favor even without logic.
Develop and nurture at least 10 strategic relationships with key position holders at your work and
relentlessly invest your energy into it. To fully leverage the benefit from these relationships, build these
to a level that most organization see you as privileged having those strong relations with key position
holders.

Tip 5 of 5: Become a Thought Leader: Become an expert in your domain of work. Read at least one new
book a month or regularly subscribe to several new blogs and articles. Develop some strategic thinking
and challenge and question some conventional wisdom. Openly share your viewpoint in conversations or
through writing a blog. Not everybody will agree with your views but most will respect you for your
innovative thoughts. Influence cannot be developed overnight. It’s hard work and demands patience and
persistence. It’s also tricky. Over-dose or under-dose of your efforts in a particular area my ruin all of your

5
hard work. The key is gradual step-by-step improvement with a constant feedback system preferably
through the help of a trusted mentor.

Under my ‘Create a Personal Brand’ post, some people have struggled to understand the rationale behind
my advice of coming at work 15 minutes earlier and leaving 30 minutes late. First of all, my advice is not
for everyone. It is mainly targeted to those who have potential or ambition to reach C-level. Secondly, I
am not suggesting working late hours. What I am advising is to build a personal brand as a dedicated
professional who sees work as an essential and enjoyable part of life and not as a prison. If you really want
to start working at time, don’t you think you have to arrive at your workplace at least 15 minutes earlier
to settle down before you can start working. Similarly, if you are really busy doing your work with full
dedication until the last hour, don’t you think you need 30 minutes to wrap up your work before you can
leave. It is easier to say what is politically correct i.e. come in time, leave in time. Unfortunately, the harsh
reality of corporate world is quite different. People who work late are often seen as professional,
hardworking and dedicated. If you do not understand this brutal fact yet, get ready to go through a long
and painful journey before you can develop a successful corporate career.

Be Articulated and selective in discussion. Be Prepared and Plan for every Meeting . Advance Planning is
the Key . Must plan for your Daily Tasks before reaching office .

My style is to deliver either on time or before time. Give yourself tighter deadlines so even if you miss
your own deadline you meet with expectation of your business

In an auto pilot mode we feel rejected when we are not heard. In reaction we either get passive or start
to involve in an aggressive conversation both goes wrong in our career as well as in our personal life.

For the first couple of years in my career, whenever I had a performance review (that dreaded once a year
ceremony), my managers would tell me that my area of development is my 'emotions'. Now almost 20
years into my career, I can confidently tell you that my emotions are my biggest asset. Don't let anyone
tell you that your emotions are a weakness - Emotions are a strength! Emotions are what make us who
we are – they help us understand/ experience people & life and the world around us. At work, they are
how we connect with people; how we build trust & relationships and how we are empathetic to others. I
have met people who when asked ‘how are you feeling’ would respond with what they were thinking.
They are so out of touch with their emotions and that is scary - when you aren’t aware of or understand
your emotions and if you can’t connect with yourself. Bottomline - we just need to learn how to make
emotions work for us instead of against us; they don’t need to govern our life. And my biggest learning
here has been to differentiate between emotions themselves and how I respond & react to them. So learn
to take a step back and observe your emotions. And with effort, discipline and genuine belief in their
worth, you can make emotions your greatest ally.

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My View- Passion is to belief wherein emotions are feelings!! Acting with belief is natural as it is important
that we believe in ourselves and our ability to accomplish any task prior to taking it on. Emotion is a mental
reaction and passion is the action resulting from strong emotion (often liking and desire). The feelings we
experience with emotions often cloud our judgment and makes us vulnerable to mistakes. An easy
interpretation of that is limiting who we hire (despite them being the best we need) because of how we
feel towards them or even perhaps choosing to not terminate an employee that brings no value to our
team because we feel bad. When making decisions around your business, remain passionate and
continue to believe in your idea and yourself, therefore remaining open to change and ideas that help you
improve your overall product or service.

Give feedback before advice.

'I thought they were the same thing?'

Nah.▪Feedback is the what.

▪Advice is the how.

Feedback is telling them which areas they were good & bad at.

Advice is how they can improve for next time.

I realized that being surrounded by people better than I helped me challenge myself positively. I worked
twice as hard.

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Work-life balance or work-life integration?

It all depends how do you see your work:

A Job:

A job provides you with pay. Work is merely the way to afford living. Focus is on life outside the work. You
see work and life in separate compartments and do not want to mix up. You strongly believe in work-life
balance.

A Career:

A job you do for others; a career you do for yourself. You seek learning and advancement at workplace.
You have a long term vision of your professional future. You want to be promoted and like competing with
your peers. You try to seek work-life balance but you are more pulled towards work-life integration.

A Calling:

This happens when you feel a deep alignment between what you do and who you are. You have a sense
of purpose and are willing to work harder and longer to make a contribution. It's hard to see the
boundaries between your work and personal life. You live with full work-life integration.

For growth, communication from top to the team members about the growth plan is quite important.
How can we do it?

For this to happen:

1. Leader must know the Goal.

2. Team members must be informed of the Goal

3. Feedbacks from team members can play a very important role in the said communication process.

4. The leader should be available to the team when they want to talk and discuss.

5. With open door policy, the leader must encourage individuals to talk about the area of specialization
so the role matrix can be framed.

6. Spending some time with the whole team, like meetings or coffee breaks are essential for the team to
become comfortable.

7. A review process has to be put in place.

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Which is better, smart work or hard work? Pure hard work: Reading books all day, going through all the
materials and staying awake at night before the exam to ensure you’ve revised everything Smart hard
work: Knowing that the professor gives importance to assignments, tutorials, and questions in the book;
doing them well before the exam, and getting a good night’s sleep The funny thing is that smart hard work
is actually harder than pure hard work because it requires situational awareness, taking cues and
prioritization. These are useful skills that are fundamental differentiators in life.

Five mantras to achieve success and choose the right career path:

 There is no shortcut to career success. You must build your own ladder of success with the right
academic qualifications, right experience and the right skillsets, all by understanding that the
ladder of success must be climbed one step at a time for sustainable progress.

 Heat and pressure make diamonds. The road to career success is paved by hard working, constant
challenges, continuous learning and improvement. These are the fundamentals to stay at the edge
of innovation and to stand out of the crowd.

 Good attitude will bring you to high altitude! The level of progress in your career and in your life
is greatly influenced by your attitude. Thus it’s good to develop and nurture a positive attitude.

 It’s not about how much you learn, it’s about how smart you learn. Develop an in-depth learning
in the field in which you want to develop expertise and breadth learning on all other aspects.

 Make your passion become your profession! If you want excellence to be an inherent aspect in
your professional endeavours and if you want to reap the fruit of satisfaction in every challenge
you undertake, turn your passion into a profession as far as possible.

Deshmukh says, it’s the same ethos that has served Dhoni and Kohli so well. “The most important thing
is, they both are secure in their skins and they know what they are capable of. They are not competing
with anyone else but with themselves and that makes them supremely confident in whatever they do."

People’s emotions tend to heat up when there is disagreement. Remain calm and analytical at all times;
it is more difficult to shut down a logical exchange than an emotional one. Remember too that emotions
can shade how people see reality. For example, people will sometimes say, “I feel like (some-thing is true)”
and proceed as though it’s a fact, when other people may interpret the same situation differently. Ask
them, “Is it true?” to ground the conversation in reality.

We make too many career choices based on ambition over aspiration. Ambition is what we want to
achieve. Aspiration is who we want to become. When deciding between jobs or organizations, ask how
they'll shape your identity.

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There are people who are cringingly positive all the time. Bubbly and agreeable and perfect 24/7. Like
bloody machines! Some of these specimens always wear a “mask” and are terrified of trusting and being
vulnerable. They think displaying feelings is weak, unprofessional and unacceptable. Well I’ve got news
for you. I've seen so many of you creeps over the last 25 years. You come across as opaque, dishonest,
unreliable, FAKE and quite frankly, quite dull. And as a person or a leader you will not be authentic. Be
open. Have a view. Trust. Show your emotions. Laugh. Empathise. Disagree. It’s not a crime and it can be
quite attractive and effective. Be human. THAT is what leadership is mostly about.

Gulf analyst, familiar with the thinking of Doha’s rivals, acknowledges that Qatar is becoming more active,
but said it was a” paper tiger, with no depth or sustainable real power”.

In the years that followed, I saw numerous excellent and rapid reforms change all that. Even more
important than my getting to see the particular reforms that they made, I got to see how they make
reforms – I.e., how they come up with numerous big reform ideas, plan them out, get behind them, and
then get them done. The demonstrated ability of the Chinese to go from visualizations to actualizations
is quite amazing.

Before Genghis Khan was Genghis Khan, He was asleep with his new wife, When a neighbouring village
attacked and caught them off guard. Outnumbered and under prepared, he did the most logical thing. He
escaped. Without his Wife. "Only a fool fights a battle he cannot win."

As my grandmother would say, "If it didn't open, it's not your door. Keep knocking the right door will open
for you at the right time."

Technocrats have known what changes Kuwait has needed for years. Those needs are consistently
ignored, largely as a result of political wrangling.

The great irony, of course, is that one of the main reasons people pursue education, financial security,
and solid employment is to create comfortable lives. But for some, this can begin to feel like too much of
a good thing. Endurance sports provide a necessary outlet, offering concrete measures of a job well done
and the chance to deal with physical suffering—albeit in a voluntary, defined, and immediately escapable
environment.

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In The Consolation of Philosophy, Lady Philosophy chides Boethius, who is lamenting Lady Fortune for
abandoning him: "why should I alone be deprived of my rights? The heavens are permitted to grant bright
days, then blot them out with dark nights..."

A sailor who doesn't test himself in rough sea with always lack self-confidence when it matters the most.

An investor who is used to make money when markets are well will always lose his shirt when markets
fall.

A human being who doesn't train his/her body to be fast, agile, strong, and durable will never be ready
when his/her child is in danger.

A man who doesn't know how it feels to live without money will find it hard to bounce back.

It pays to be prepared.
It pays to be resilient.
It pays to never have to create excuses.

Les machines peuvent exécuter de nombreuses tâches administratives répétitives et volumineuses plus
rapidement et avec plus de précision que les humains. Mais l’IA et les machines ne peuvent se substituer
au jugement humain, aux valeurs, à la créativité et à la prise de décisions reposant sur le respect de
l’intégrité et sur une base éthique solide.

"Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future."
John F. Kennedy

Competition is what you make it.

There's healthy & unhealthy.
▪Healthy: you keep your competitive spirits engaged to make progress daily.
▪Unhealthy: you spend all your time comparing yourself to others & moving backwards.

Learning is easier if you are honest about your own ignorance. People want to seem "in the know." They
try to signal that they are intelligent and informed. This is often counterproductive. Insecurity is the enemy
of learning. A master knows how to be a beginner.

Never let it rest until your good is better and your better is best.

Manager: I'd like you to be more proactive. Employee: Sure, could you tell me exactly how and when? If
you're seeking direction from others, you're being reactive, not proactive. Initiative is about exercising
your own judgment.

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Most employers are approaching job interviews all wrong, says business consultant Anthony Tjan. To
identify the candidates who have substance and not just smarts, here are better questions to ask.

While the number of questions that can be asked on a job interview are infinite, almost all of them fall
into one of two categories: questions about competency or questions about character. Competency
questions are aimed at establishing a person’s skills, abilities and qualifications; character questions are
intended to illuminate their intrinsic values and personality. Even though both types of questions are
important, “we’re biased to the competency side,” says Anthony Tjan, a business consultant and CEO of
the Cue Ball Group, a Boston-based venture capital firm. “And we’re neglecting important attributes like
truth, compassion and wisdom.”

“What are your greatest weaknesses?” is a commonly asked character question, but it’s a bust. The
interviewer often feels obliged to ask because the answer, if honest, could be valuable. But in reality, the
usual responses — “I’m too detail-oriented,” “I work too hard” and “I care too much” — are rehearsed,
predictable and disingenuous. And while candidates are aware that they’re not being helpful or truthful
when they make such statements, they’re also afraid to reveal their true flaws.

Companies need to figure out ways to evaluate the character of potential hires. Tjan, who is also the
author of the book Good People: The Only Leadership Decision That Really Matters, believes screening for
traits like integrity, humility, gratitude and self-awareness are the key to job satisfaction and success. “No
elements matter more than people and values for long-term competitive advantage,” he explains. “And
they’re critical towards developing the purpose and meaning behind any organization.” So employers
should strive to ask questions that can’t be answered with generalities or cliches.

Character question no. 1: “What are the one or two traits from your parents that you most want to
ensure you and your kids have for the rest of your life?” The goal is to create a conversation that leads
to a revelation, not a rehearsal, says Tjan. This question calls for a bit more thought on the applicant’s end
and sheds light on the things they most value. After hearing the person’s initial response, Tjan says you
should immediately follow up with “Can you tell me more?” This is essential if you want to elicit an answer
with real depth and substance. And while you may be tempted to fill in a person’s silences, “be
comfortable with a pregnant pause,” says Tjan. “Being patient and allowing them to share tends to lead
to better answers.”

Character question no. 2: “What is 25 times 25?” Tjan wants to see how people react under real-time
pressure, and their response can show you how they’ll approach challenging or awkward situations. Do
they get defensive, ashamed or even angry? Or are they open-minded and willing to work at the problem?
And if a candidate gives up or blurts out the wrong answer, Tjan likes to ask them to approach the question
from a different angle: “Imagine instead that you have 25 quarters in your pocket — how much does that
add up to?” This isn’t about checking whether someone’s good at mental math, he explains. “It’s about
whether they can roll with the embarrassment and discomfort and work with me. When a person is in a
job, they’re not always going to be in situations that are in their alley.”

Character question no. 3: “Tell me about three people whose lives you positively changed. What would
they say if I called them tomorrow?”Checking references is generally a waste of time, asserts Tjan. Of
course, they’ll have been selected and primed to brag about a candidate. Instead, he thinks it’s more
informative to find out about the people whom an applicant has personally helped. It doesn’t have to be
a coworker; it could be a relative, classmate, neighbor or friend. Organizations need employees who can

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lift each other up. “And if a candidate can’t think of a single person, I want to understand why,” Tjan says.
He credits much of his success to relationships — both as mentor and as mentee — that he’s had in his
life. When a person is naturally inclined toward compassionate mentorship, it can have a domino effect
in an institution. “I’ve learned that it’s those types of people that cause organizations to be different,” he
adds.

Character question no. 4: After an interview, ask yourself (and other team members, if relevant) “Can I
imagine taking this person home with me for the holidays?” This may seem overly personal, but “you
are trying to develop a relationship with them,” says Tjan. And even though you haven’t spent that much
time with the person, you’ll usually have a gut reaction to this question. “When I ask this of colleagues, I
get much more visceral yes/no responses than when I go through a competency checklist,” he says.

Character question no. 5: After an interview, ask security or the receptionist: “How was the candidate’s
interaction with you?” Be conscious of how people treat strangers — it speaks to whether they act with
compassion and openness and view others as equals. Tjan knows about one company where interviewers
ask security to delay a candidate for up to 10 minutes to see their reaction. “But I don’t know if I would
go that far,” he adds.

Hiring good people goes beyond corporate success. Staffing an organization with people of substance is
about more than just improving your retention rate and bottom line, says Tjan. It can have ripple effects
as your employees interact in the world, although this impact might be hard to detect and measure. And
while the character questions here are intended to be used in job interviews, we’d all benefit from asking:
“What role can I play in being a positive influence on others?”

Don't be naive expecting basic questions in interview, at different stage of career I met HR lead and he
gave formulae #ask, that stands for Attitude, Skills & Knowledge as criteria But this works at entry level
At mid career level expect the same #ask but this time it's Authenticity, Strategic Thinking, & Know
yourself Let me explain Authenticity - Doing right things & being yourself - exploring values that align with
company Strategic thinking - Seeing big picture, Decision making, & Problem solving Know Yourself -
Knowing your beliefs, strengths, weaknesses & emotions, and how do you align it to drive your team,
stakeholders, clients. Leading & Growing with them Bear in mind the previous entry level #ask is a given
at mid-career If you are in this stage, & not thinking about it, start preparing If you are recruiting, & not
testing people on above, your selection is flawed esp. All startups & business Are you getting ready with
above ? What elSe do you think, could help? After all, it's all about growth, isn't it?

A high potential candidate is someone who is:

 Resilient

 Adapts to new changes quickly

 Values time

 Takes initiative and challenges

 Hardworking and determined

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Great business minds and leaders understand that it’s important to build a team composing of different
personalities, ideas, strengths, and viewpoints. It helps to carry out collaboration in a real sense where
different viewpoints are acknowledged and appreciated. Workplace diversity enriches the company
culture and enhances the success of global brands and businesses.

More than anything, look for individuals with strong character and integrity. People with integrity take
their work seriously and doesn’t get involved in unnecessary office politics and back bitching. The moral
compass is so strong that they work with unquestionable integrity to do what they should be doing.

Mark Twain once said, “Get your facts first, then you can distort them as much as you please.” Had you
heeded such advice, you would have avoided yourselves a great deal of ridicule.

Credentials are very important as they set minimum standards and rigor and expectations.

How to earn trust: 1 do not lie (to others or yourself) 2 do not cheat 3 do not pretend 4 do not manipulate
5 do not hide the truth 6 say what you mean 7 deliver on promises 8 give trust 9 explain your decisions
10 share your intent 11 do not defend dishonesty 12 do not brag

How to earn more work responsibilities: 1 meet deadlines 2 measure and report outcomes 3 take good
notes 4 be helpful 5 do not speak poorly about others 6 share the credit 7 do not point fingers or make
excuses 8 be gracefully honest 9 practice pragmatic optimism 10 work harder

A powerful warrior of the Mughal king from Bijapur (Karnataka), Afzal Khan ruined many Hindu temples
and inflicted atrocities on the citizens of Maratha kingdom. He challenged Shivaji Maharaj. The fearless
Maratha King agreed to meet him personally. Shivaji Maharaj knew Afzal Khan well. He wasn't surprised
when Afzal Khan suddenly attacked him with a knife, during the meeting, in which nobody was expected
to carry weapons. Shivaji Maharaj was ready for the incidence & counter attacked Afzal only to kill him in
a few minutes. Shivaji Maharaj was great leader who always knew nuisance power of his enemies & never
underestimated their lack of trustworthiness in spite of tall promises given to him.

Leaders are very excited about the opportunities in the environment. Such possibilities excite them so
much that they don't feel threatened by the threats posed by the environment. 'Sense of security' is the
second most important human need after the physiological needs. We want to secure everything we have.
We fear losing them or somebody snatching it from us. The billions of dollars of insurance business thrives
on our sense of insecurity.

Visionary corporate leaders like Henry Ford, Steve Jobs & Jack Ma believed in delivering what is good for
their customers rather than what is demanded by them. They said customers know their problems better
but are not aware of the perfect solution. The companies have to provide the right solution. But this
conviction required fearless self-belief. They dared to swim up-stream, against the current, fearlessly to

14
become the legends who went into the history books. Chinese believed 'online' will not work in China
until Jack Ma made Alibaba one of the largest online players in the world. Apple's choice of a different
operating system could be proved suicidal until Steve Jobs made it a grand success.

Leaders are comfortable with uncertainties. They know theory of relativity well & how things work. They
believe security is relative, uncertainty is constant. Leaders develop power to progress under
uncertainty. They enjoy the challenge posed by uncertainty. They look at the changing market situations
as opportunities.

They are at peace with themselves. Leaders know who they are, what can they do, what they can't do.
They also have great patience to wait for their turn. They are never in a hurry though hate
procrastination. Leaders believe in the organic growth. Sometimes they don't hesitate to opt for the
inorganic growth, whenever it is a must.

Sam Walton created a strong team & many leaders. When he passed away Walmart's turnover was $50
Billion in the early 1990s, today it has grown more than 10 times in less than 20 years. Sam's team &
leaders created by him contributed to this growth. The leader also provides a strong policy which helps
his team to make day to day decisions and the leader delegates many functions and powers to the
members of his team. The leader establishes proper systems and processes which respond to the
dynamic changes. Great leaders are great planners. They factor-in all eventualities and become fearless.

At work, we are constantly making judgements, taking decisions before we communicate or do

something. That is what we do day in and day out. Which option to choose, what to do and how to do
it? And, for every judgment call, we must have a justification, a reason, a rationale for why we chose the
option we did.

The costs of bad judgments and decisions are high at a workplace. There is pressure on us to get it right,
first time, every time. In addition to the pressure of not failing, there is the pressure of time, to do things
within a deadline. We often don’t have the luxury of time to think.

Thinking is one of the most intuitive acts for human beings. It comes naturally to us. But, because we
think as effortlessly as we breathe, we don’t view it as a skill.

Our ability to think well has an influence over everything we do. The quality of our lives is greatly
determined by the nature and depth of our thoughts. This, in turn, determines how effective we are in
dealing with people, information and situations.

Yet, thinking remains one of the least taught skills. The assumption is that the passage of school and
college education arms us with the skill to think. However, if you look back, our earliest styles of thinking
nurtured in schools is to learn to interpret the world through textbooks of different subjects. Often, we
mistake gathering knowledge, or information, for thinking.

As we progress through higher education, and start jobs, we begin to build domain expertize. Soon
enough, we become less comfortable, and less committed, to thinking about aspects that fall outside

15
the comfort zone of our expertize or interest. We feel confident enough to work on tasks where we
have an expertize. But, we fail to think clearly about things that fall outside this domain.

The struggle of making the right judgments and decisions begins here: when what we know isn’t enough
to get the work done.

To think is to connect things and make sense of the world, or the people, problems and situations in it.

Doing so requires an understanding of different things, while being grounded in the knowledge in
specific aspects. It also mandates having social intelligence: the knack to understand yourself, as well as
those around you.

Learning how to think better sounds like an ambiguous, undefined challenge. While thinking, or
improving how you think, cannot be learnt overnight, let’s break it down into five tangible skills to help
you get started.

Think critically: We are constantly bombarded with information from all directions. The only way to
separate fact from fluff and meaningful from meaningless is by thinking critically about what counts and
what doesn’t, so that we can develop a bias-free, questioning mindset. For example, are you genuinely
willing to question why a customer is not buying your product instead of assuming that the sales team is
underperforming?

Reason logically: Having this skill will help you build a logical point of view, create the right connections
between dependent factors, and position your thoughts in a way that others are likely to agree. For
example, which parameters do you consider, and how do you build a hierarchy for the right solutions,
when changing your digital marketing strategy?

Learn expertly: In a workplace often ridden with ambiguity and change, an inevitable aspect of being
able to think better is the ability to learn quickly, about new issues, ideas and solutions. For instance, do
you learn by doing, by observing or by being taught?

Interpret self: To think better, it’s crucial to become more self-aware. The important aspects of doing
this is identifying your strengths, recognizing your values and how they drive your actions, and
understanding your preferences and how these affect work. For example, why is it that you
procrastinate and projects always come down to the wire when you are involved?

Decode others: One of the most underrated professional skills in the contemporary workplace is
decoding others. It’s invaluable to develop social and emotional intelligence so you can have better
relationships. For example, how open is your boss to authentic feedback and does she take
developmental feedback personally?

Developing these skills is not easy, of course. Hopefully, breaking the act of thinking into distinct skills
will serve as a starting point.

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The company is different but the shamelessness and arrogance are the same. And so is the modus
operandi. When they have backed themselves into a corner and they know that their brief moment in
history is quickly coming to a close, they do what frightened animals do: thrash, spit and bellow, in an
attempt to appear credible.

As a child of the 80s, one of my fave bands was Tears For Fears. Today on the radio I heard Break It Down
Again (from 1993) which is a lament on the bewildering complexity of our world.

That was 25 years ago when life was relatively, absurdly simple!! Because complexity and ambiguity has
rocketed since then, thx to Social media, fake news, AI, Big Data, Financial engineering, cybercrime, cloud
computing, Apps, Influencers etc etc, most of which didn’t exist in 1993.

So now we have hundreds of millions of very confused and stressed people, and I’m worried about the
impact on youngsters. Who do you believe? Who do you trust? What is the truth?

You can do jackshit about complexity. But you can change how you handle it. Ten tips:

1. Never accept anything at face value

2., Discount opinions and look for facts and figures. Data is very cruel but it’s real

3. Look for flaws in any story/argument

4. Your view may be wrong

5. The media mostly focuses on the short term and the irrelevant

6. Separate the relevant from the rubbish. The latter is distracting noise

7. Who benefits? Follow the money

8. Don’t outsource thinking to others

9. Things are rarely black & white. Learn to live with Grey

10. What really matters to YOU?

Think. Translate. Thrive.

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Recently I have been approached for roles where the headhunter has made a big play about diversity. It
has become clear through the interviewing process and subsequent appointment decision that I am little
more than “pink washing” a hiring process. How do I avoid becoming embroiled in these time-wasting
endeavours while still remaining open to interesting opportunities? Female, 20s

Jonathan’s answer George S Patton’s quotation, “If everyone is thinking alike, then somebody isn’t
thinking” exemplifies why many, if not all, organisations seek a diverse workforce: colleagues from a wider
range of backgrounds can bring a broader variety of ideas and approaches. Although it has not always
been the case, most organisations now actively work to encourage a diverse range of applicants and try
to eliminate unconscious bias from their application processes. If they use a headhunter, remember that
the headhunters are working for their client, not for you. Once you have been approached, if you are
concerned about bias, you can do your own background research on the business, including on their
recent hiring history. This is tricky from the outside as you would have to control for differences in
application rates, technical qualifications, and experience for each applicant group.

Whatever the underlying reason for you being invited for interview, you can celebrate that fact. Indeed,
being invited for interview shows that there is unlikely to be tokenism. The interviewers think that, on
paper, you could do the job and are appointable. However they value your time, they truly do not want
to waste their own time on just a box-ticking activity. Which leads to the conclusion that you are not a
victim of tokenism. Either your interview performance is not reaching the level required, or perhaps the
recruiter is changing their mind about an appointment.

You have no control over the latter, but considerable control over the former. Your role in an interview is
to give the best impression of yourself: your skills and experience, and how you take responsibility,
achieve things and are a good team member. It is the recruiters’ job to decide whether to hire you. If you
go into an interview thinking it is going to be “time wasting” then this will probably affect your
performance. Each interview is new — just as theatre actors learn that each audience is new, and has no
knowledge of what happened last time. Keep your performance fresh. Above all, change your behaviour
and attitude in the interview, otherwise you may well continue to get the same result.

Cast aside all of your preconceptions that you are there as a token — it is worth repeating that, on paper,
being at the interview means they think you can do the job.

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Even if you’re not selling a product or service directly to a customer, you still need to get people to buy
into your ideas, opinions or theories.
The same is true of other aspects of your life. Finding a mate comes down to selling yourself to another
person. Anyone with young children knows sales and negotiation is a huge part of everyday parenting.
Pink also describes how sales have evolved over time: “It’s long been held that top salespeople—
whether in traditional sales or non-sales selling—are deft at problem solving. Here I will show that what
matters more today is problem -finding. One of the most effective ways of moving others is to uncover
challenges they may not know they have.”
Problem finding has grown in importance over the past few decades as the global economy has shifted
from product-centric jobs to service-related work. Without a finished product to demonstrate, service

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businesses need to find problems in advance to earn their keep. When selling intangibles, this is the job
in most instances.
Problem solving is akin to a post-mortem where you diagnose after the fact while problem finding is
more appropriate for the pre-mortem where you plan ahead for potential risks, needs, or desires in
advance.
This idea of problem finding is also a wonderful way to advance your career. One of the ways people get
stuck in a rut in their career can stem from an inability to sell themselves or even get noticed in the first
place.
How many people get to that annual review with their boss but fail to convince the party on the other
side of the table how valuable they are to the company?
Theo Epstein, current President of Baseball Operations for the Chicago Cubs and former Boston Red Sox
GM, has some phenomenal advice for those who are having a difficult time selling themselves on the
job: “Whoever your boss is, or your bosses are, they have 20 percent of their job that they just don’t
like. So if you can ask them or figure out what that 20 percent is, and figure out a way to do it for them,
you’ll make them really happy, improve their quality of life and their work experience.”
If you do a good job with it, they’ll start to give you more and more responsibility.
Everyone assumes they deserve more money, responsibilities, or respect at work but most people don’t
know how to sell themselves correctly or truly stand out from the crowd to get what they want.
This can be especially difficult for young people trying to shine when they don’t have very much
experience.
Becoming a fixer for those people who already have the position or responsibility you crave in the
workplace is a wonderful way to get noticed.
And the best part is this is a way to position yourself for upward mobility on the job without a focus on
yourself. It’s a focus on those who are above you in the chain of command.
Being a problem finder is a useful way to sell yourself without actually having to sell yourself.

Whenever i ask young entrepreneurs what the most important trait to succeed is, 90% of the time i hear
"passion". In my experience, I've seen passion run out and with it take the entrepreneur and his/her family
down with it. Passion is emotional and emotions have ups and downs. You don't want to peg a battle on
an emotion. However what I notice is successful entrepreneurs is discipline. They have routines. Theyll
show up whether they feel like getting out of bed or not and will commit to the cause. You've heard me
say this before - showing up is 90% of the fight. Discipline to push when no one is watching, when everyone
else is taking is easy, when it doesnt feel like its making a difference... Thats what makes startup
entrepreneurs.

Luck matters but I believe luck doesn’t just happen. I have no doubt that some people have been
successful through what seems to be sheer good luck but what helps them keep going is their hard
work; characteristics such as perception, vision, determination, time management, etc. that turns any
lucky opportunity into a successful venture.

Success is not handed to anyone; it requires a lot of hard work. Work vigorously at a given task to complete
it with efficiency. The harder you practice, the luckier you get. Hard work does not mean labor work and
physical work only, but a lot of brain work and efforts. Many people want to achieve big without
struggling. They think it is easy. They think luck will push them forward. Luck will make people have better

20
opportunities that help them reach the top but to stay there, they need the knowledge and determination.
Your hard work will make you clasp your hands together and look at the sky and thank your lucky stars!
Luck will smile upon you all the time. Hard work is the only way to honor your good fortune and make the
most of it.

Values such as:

 Respect others

 Lead with positivity

 And the phrase “I’ll never ask you to do something I’m not prepared to do myself”

1. Failure is your tuition to finding success. If you have not failed, you are not pushing the edge on
innovation. Failure and/or mistakes are also your best teachers. Successful business leaders and or
athletes learn from their losses and work towards incremental improvements over time. Don't ask for life
to be easier, ask to be stronger.

2. Don't focus on managing your time, focus on managing your energy. You have a limited supply and if
you know when you are at your best, you know when to accelerate. Managing the energy of the entire
team will have you move faster than managing people's time.

3. Re-frame problems to opportunities. I broke my iPhone the night before the first day of our race in
Antarctica. I quickly had to accept I would be without music, audio-books and other distractions for 7 days.
I gave myself the gift of presence to hear glaciers crackle and be the most present I would ever be in my
life. Learn to re-frame problems to opportunities. Project obstacles are just opportunities to rethink and
move past.

4. Get comfortable being uncomfortable. You learn the most through anxiety. I've put my mind and body
through intense strain at up to 13,000 feet running in the Andes and when I got back to sea-level had
much more capacity than when I left. Working through anxiety will give you capacity to take on more
responsibility and grow your career.

5. Train like a marathoner, but adopt a sprinter's mindset. In 2012, I recovered from my first defeat in the
Sahara and redeemed myself by finishing a similar race in Mongolia, China. The last 50-mile running day
along the Kunlun mountain range took me from 9am to 6am the following day! As I wandered aimlessly
under the stars at 2am I hit a wall. I felt like I couldn't go further. I was frustrated and angry. All of a
sudden, I got curious. I asked myself what is the learning opportunity? I realized I needed to flip to
optimism and chunk out the final few hours, in 10 min blocks. Run 5 min, walk 5 min. It helped me finish
the race with a smile on my face. Break down big projects into bite sized chunks. Don't get overwhelmed
by the entire project.

6. Fight self-doubt by focusing on the immediate path to success. In Iceland in 2013, I injured my ankle
and was not sure I would be able to start the last day. I could barely put weight on the ankle as I went to

21
sleep that night. I decided I would start the day and take it one step at a time and leave the race with no
regrets. It took me 17 hours in the pouring rain. I used a mantra: 'I am Strong, Relaxed and Grateful' and
probably said it 10,000 times. I created a deep belief in myself that I could conquer any obstacle. Know
how to prioritize and zero in on the critical path to success. By focusing on the most important task, others
become easier over time.

7. Adopt a beginner's mindset and stay adaptable. In 2017 we ran as a team in Patagonia. We knew each
other and had trust from past races, but had not been clear ahead of time on our roles, and what would
happen if we hit obstacles. After day three of six and 70 miles in we pushed one of our team members
too hard and almost burnt out his motor. As we started day four we need to realign on our mission,
reestablish roles and plans for each remaining stage of the race. You will always hit obstacles mid project;
how you realign is critical for achieving your objectives.

8. The best teachers are lifelong students who share their knowledge. I've gone from being the rookie in
my adventure races to being an elder statesman nine races in. I try to pay it forward as much as possible
to those running their first race and in those conversations, master my craft. Mentoring others along the
way helps you master your craft and allows you to grow while you build an army of future supporters.

9. You are not a team because you work together. You are a team because you care, respect and trust
each other. I am grateful to have been able to travel all over the world and run on every continent. When
you are grateful you are rich. Starting your day with the right questions sets you off on the right path.
What am I grateful for today? What am I excited about? What am I am I happy about? Extending that
gratitude to your team members is critical. I have a calendar reminder every Friday to write thank you
notes to at least three people on my direct and extended team. Gratitude is a force multiplier.

10. To reach higher, stretch higher. In Patagonia I set out to not only complete the race as a team, but to
have it filmed by a good friend of mine (Peter O'hara) an up-and-coming cinematographer. I've always
wanted to create a mini doc on this journey. It took me 10 years to put myself into position and dedication
for a year to make it happen. What we came out with was an incredibly beautiful journey that speaks to
how to "Defeat the Average Within" Set stretch goals for yourself and your team and dream big. Be patient
and play the long game to realize your potential.

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To ensure success, you’ll want to avoid the most common behaviors that hiring managers judge you on
within the first 15 minutes of the interview

1. Sounding overly pompous and confident

You see yourself as: A genius

Hiring managers see you as: A know-it-all

It’s good to talk about all the great ideas you had in your previous jobs and how you made them work, but
be somewhat humble about it and don’t take all the credit.

When you fail to acknowledge the people who helped you (i.e., your team’s contribution or your boss
who provided wonderful guidance), you give your hiring manager the impression that you have a big ego
and aren’t a team player. The most valuable people in an organization are the ones who acknowledge and
motivate those around them, so give examples that show how you’ve demonstrated those qualities.

2. Saying negative things

You see yourself as: A voice of reason

Hiring managers see you as: A negative Nancy

Don’t be so quick to point out the flaws in your current or previous employers and colleagues (i.e., “We
weren’t meeting revenue goals because our managers were slackers.”)

A recent CareerBuilder survey found that 62 percent of employers are less likely to promote employees
who have a negative or pessimistic attitude. Always look for the positive things in your experience. If you
felt overworked at a previous job, for instance, talk about how it taught you to better manage your time
and set boundaries.

3. Having no strong opinions at all

You see yourself as: A peacekeeper

Hiring managers see you as: An yes-man/yes-woman

You want the hiring manager to like you, but that doesn’t mean agreeing with every little thing he or she
says. Employers want to hire people who are bold and have opinions that lead to innovative new ideas.
These are the people who aren’t afraid to disagree or raise their hands and ask the questions that no one
else will.

You’ll likely be asked questions that require an honest opinion or questions about how you would do X, Y
and Z. Don’t offer generic answers. Remember that it’s OK to disagree with something as long as you have
a good reason.

4. Bragging about having ‘never missed a day’

You see yourself as: A warrior

Hiring managers see you as: A germ factory

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Being present at work is important, but companies want to make sure their employees are smart enough
to prioritize their health — it can be costly if they don’t. Going on and on about how you’ve “never missed
a day at work” implies that you have a tendency to drag yourself to work on days when you’re feeling sick.

Many candidates think that a perfect attendance record is a sign of dedication, but to employers, it’s a
liability. The last thing they need is an entire team being absent simply because someone came to work
with a contagious illness.

5. Sharing too much about your personal life

You see yourself as: An open book

Hiring managers see you as: An attention seeker

There’s such a thing as sharing “too much” about your personal life, from your terrible date last night to
replaying the details of your recent doctor’s appointment in great detail. Talking through personal
challenges with your office mates helps you process. Sometimes a good cry or venting helps you feel
better. But avoid bringing any of that into the interview.

Know where to draw the line. Even if it’s something that may affect your work arrangements (i.e., you’re
dealing with personal family issues and will need to work from home X days a week for X amount of time),
work it out in the conversation you have after you’ve received an offer.

6. Not being present

You see yourself as: A (busy) VIP

Hiring managers see you as: Disrespectful

Apart from being late to an interview (which is the biggest red flag), don’t risk of letting your hiring
manager see a phone in your hand, especially right before he or she comes out to greet you. And don’t
even think about taking it out during the interview.

Hiring managers notice all those little things, like if you take a quick glance at your phone, wristwatch or
clock on the wall. If they see you checking the time, it’ll seem like you’re distracted and thinking on “more
important” things. Show up early and and stay present. Let them know that this job interview is your most
important priority right now. Looking “too busy” isn’t a badge of honor, it’s just disrespectful.

Here’s what I learned from my experience at Apple and working with Jobs:

1. Tell the truth. Honesty is a test of your competence and character. You need intelligence to
recognize what is true, and you need strength to speak it.

2. The wiser the person, the more they yearn for the truth. Telling people that their product is good
in order to be kind or positive doesn’t help them improve it — much less impress or fool people
like Jobs.

3. Honesty is not only better, it’s also easier than lying. There’s only one truth, so being consistent
is simple if you’re honest. If you are not honest, you have to concoct a lie and then keep track of
what you said.

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“ Trees with deep roots are those that grow higher ”- Frédéric Mistral (Les îles d’or)

My otherwise, peaceful neighbors get really mad (super reaction) if somebody parked his car in their
designated slot (deprival) even for a few hours. It’s not the size of the offence, but the fact that somebody
deprived them of what rightfully belongs to them that makes them mad. Investors that missed the D-Mart
IPO bus in India and watched it go up 250% are more likely to invest in the next retail store IPO irrespective
of quality of the offering, just to get even. They see the deprival of the gains and are likely to super react
by investing in an inferior quality company. The French, Munger dog, the motorists, my neighbors, your
neighbors, you and me are all alike deep down. We may or may not get more, but we certainly will not
settle for less. And anytime, something or someone threatens to take away anything of ours, we are likely
to do crazy, stupid things like jumping traffic lights. But, unlike the Munger dog, you and I can strive to
become a little less irrational each day. Rationality leads to better decisions and better decisions to better
outcomes. It’s not easy, but we owe it to ourselves.

We have a natural tendency to count on what’s presented and discount what’s absent. So don’t just take
data and stats at their face value; instead ask what data or stat is important that I am not seeing? If you
are a customer or a recruiter or someone in a bargaining situation, demand to see what is not being
shown. If you wish to be a better decision maker, look at the world of data upside down like Abraham
Wald. The insights you get may blow you away!

1. More regulation is not the answer to problems. If you want to improve compliance, appeal to
interest and not to reason. Don’t assume that people will be moved by your reasons. Always add
a “so what does this mean to you” to every reason. eRickshaws may be faster but you need to tell
the driver, that would mean more revenue to him.

2. Beware of salespeople, middlemen and advisers especially if the advise that they give is good
for them. A confession: I made a million power point presentations and not one of them ended
up saying you don’t need more IT services or consulting. Therefore if possible, it’s best to avoid
all salespeople. Don’t go to a bank and ask if you need another savings product. My wife and my
mother, on two different occasions did this and guess what they ended up with – more investment
products.

3. Take alternate opinions. If an orthopedic surgeon recommends surgery, consult a physiotherapist

whose job is to help you recover through exercise and not necessarily surgery. If you hire
investment bankers for acquisitions, hire another just to tell you why the acquisition isn’t a good
idea.

4. Know that people will try to game the system to avoid inconvenience. Therefore if you design
systems or processes, seek feedback. Be humble and be willing to change the system based on
feedback. People can be ingenious and will go to quite an extent to avoid inconvenience.

5. Know that people will respond to positive incentives better than negative. Be creative in how
you design them. Instead of levying fines on citizens for littering, can you design a system where
you reward them for not littering? And can that system be gamed too?

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Let me finish with another of Charlie Munger’s quotes. He says: “Well I think I’ve been in the top 5% of
my age cohort all my life in understanding the power of incentives, and all my life I’ve underestimated
it. And never a year passes but I get some surprise that pushes my limit a little farther.”

And do not count on l’Express to say anything positive on my reflection regularly published by the media.
Their policy is to stay clear of people who think, because people who think also have the ability to criticize
and bring to light the uselessness of the “dialogue de sourds” which has been going on for 20 years,
irrespective of the government in power.

I have been educated at one of the world’s great educational institutions. But what I have learnt from him
far exceeds what any university can give. That politics without passion was meaningless. That policy
without compassion was useless. That kindness, courtesy and civility to those less privileged than oneself
must not be contrived as an act of magnanimity but should come naturally. That consideration to others
is the essence of democracy. He taught me a thing or two about what it took to be a civilized person. It
has been my good fortune to know this truly and uniquely civilized man and call him my friend and
teacher.

Politics is now more about inciting passions than exciting our imagination. It is a vocation rather than a
calling. It is about base selfishness rather than selfless service to make a great dream come true. We have
all become imbued with a cynicism and hopelessness.

Success is not an accident, hope is not a strategy and Proper Planning Prevents Piss Poor Performance.

One bad note does not spoil the whole symphony.

They need to hang on as they need to clean the skeletons in the cupboard or ensure a stooge who is able
to manage the skeletons.

I’ve always considered writing to be a form of art. Some people will enjoy your writing, such as my novel,
and it would move their lives in new directions. Others would hate it. There isn’t a right or wrong in the
process. It’s a matter of perspective.

A solutions-oriented person, on the other hand, looks at life and sees a world of possibilities. He notices
obstacles on the way, but he positions himself to deal with them.
Instead of complaining and whining about problems, he tries to do whatever he can to solve them. If he
can’t solve them, he sidesteps them.

26
He’s optimistic and positive because, in his worldview, he is in control over himself. If he feels that an
aspect of his life needs improvement, he’ll put in the work to turn things around.
Solutions oriented people also look at problems and the reasons why they happened, but their approach
is different.
Instead of blaming other people and their circumstances, they do what they can to make sure their
problem doesn’t become a recurring theme (i.e., they learn from their mistakes).
If they don’t see a solution, they accept it and find a way to lighten the impact it has on their life.
Sure, sometimes a solutions-oriented person will complain and vent too, but you’ll rarely see them
becoming one of those chronic whiners.
The thing about gossiping is that it makes you mentally weak.
You shift your focus from yourself to other people. When you gossip about someone, you are no longer
the main character of your story.
Your life and narrative become about them.
Remember that the whole exercise is about you being in control of your mental narrative, instead of
external factors and other people being in control of you.
If you have a problem with someone, let them know. But never talk behind their back. (It doesn’t do you
any good anyway.)
Reframe your mental story from “I’m facing problems” to “I’m solving problems.”
If you’re fat, stop complaining about your weight issues – start solving them. Eat less. Exercise more.
If you think that you live in a corrupt country with no opportunity – don’t complain about your
government. Move abroad. If your current circumstances prohibit you from moving, fix them and then
move.
Even if you’re not a problem-oriented person, you’ll still have random problems come your way.
The difference is your approach to the situation.
When you find yourself facing randomly occurring problems (or even systemic ones), don’t think of it as a
tragedy.
Think of it as a temporary setback and a learning opportunity. Think of it as something that will make you
stronger and wiser.
That’s all that most challenges are: learning opportunities.
Remember: the world is full of solutions. Unless you’re dying of cancer, your problems can be solved.
Solutions oriented people will always beat problems-oriented people in the long run.

One thing for all of us to do more of: interact with people in fields and worlds vastly different from our
own. Fresh perspective makes you both a happier person and a richer professional.

Errors and mistakes are the necessary steps in the learning process; once they have served their
purpose, they should be forgotten. Vince Lombardi

Criticism is what you think is incorrect. Speaking out is what you think is unethical.
Speaking out is courageous. Criticizing critics is hypocrisy. Trying to silence people by attacking them
rather than responding to their arguments is cowardice. Portraying yourself as a "doer" is not a positive
thing if what you are doing is unethical or illegal. Price manipulation via announcements that never
materialize, market intervention and shady dealings are unethical and usually illegal. Describing
someone who speaks out against your unethical or illegal behavior as "theoretical" is dishonest,
especially when they have a long history of success. Such ad hominem attacks are a sign of a weak mind.
If you disagree with the argument, argue back. Prove your point. Anything else simply confirms your
unethical / illegal behavior.

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It was 8.30 a.m. at the Zaatari refugee camp in Amman Jordan, when a Syrian refugee lady stepped into
my training room, pushing a baby stroller and sweating. She greeted me with a big friendly smile and a
firm handshake, then introduced herself with confidence. Noor was a registered attendee of the mentor
training component of the UNESCO “Youth Skills Development and Mentoring” project implemented in
partnership with Al-Quds College and generously funded by the European Union.
For five days Noor’s two month old baby boy, Mohammed, attended the training quiet and peaceful as
an angel. As for Noor, she arrived on time despite the long walk in the heat dragging the baby stroller
along the dusty roads of the camp. She had to do this back and forth walk every day to reach the
training venue. She participated enthusiastically and showed amazing interest in the topic that I was
facilitating considering she was looking after her child, even breastfeeding him and rocking his stroller to
sleep.
What do we call this? Resilience? Perseverance? Multitasking? Will of living? Eagerness to learn?
Well, I call it mental toughness! Mental Toughness describes the mind-set that every person adopts in
everything they do. It is closely related to qualities such as character, resilience, grit, etc. It is defined as:
“A personality trait which determines, in large part, how people respond to challenge, stress and
pressure, irrespective of their circumstances”.
How did Noor respond to her life challenges, stress, and pressure? Living in tough circumstances in a
refugee camp with two children which one of them is a two month old baby? She faced the challenge by
responding positively to the dramatic changes in her life, seizing what opportunities for learning were
available. Noor demonstrated real commitment both to her role as a mother and to her involvement in

28
her development and training. She showed control over her life through a real “can do” spirit and
managed her emotions in tiring circumstances. And Noor showed amazing confidence in her abilities by
stepping up and do something to improve her life, attending a training that will open up opportunities.
Throughout the programme she also demonstrated great interpersonal confidence, participating fully in
the programme to extract every bit of learning available.
These illustrate perfectly the four components of mental toughness which are called the 4C's -
CONTROL; CHALLENGE; COMMITMENT and CONFIDENCE.

You can complain about things you can't control or you can control what you can and let go of what you
can't. You can focus on your problems or focus on getting better. You can look for an excuse or you can
look within and find your best. It all begins with a choice.

Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something.

Gaining followers doesn't make you a leader. It just means you've captured attention. Leadership is the
art of uniting individuals to achieve a collective goal. Great leadership is the art of elevating a group to
achieve a worthy goal.

"Every result or goal you want to achieve is preceded by a process. The secret to success is to remain
unconditionally committed to your (day-to-day) process without being emotionally attached to your
(day-to-day) results." Process leads to results.

Put your heart, mind and soul into even your smallest acts. This is the secret of success. -Swami
Shivanand

Reading about history also forces you to think critically about these narratives and to form conclusions
about other people’s experiences, what worked and what didn’t. If we don’t understand history, there’s
no point in predicting the future, because we’re not drawing on where we came from. And we’re likely
to make some of the errors all over again.

There’s an even bigger story about how civility pays, and it ties to one of the most important questions
around leadership: What do people want most from their leaders? We took data from over 20,000
employees around the world, and we found the answer was simple: respect. Being treated with respect
was more important than recognition and appreciation, useful feedback, even opportunities for
learning. Those that felt respected were healthier, more focused, more likely to stay with their
organization and far more engaged.
So where do you start? How can you lift people up and make people feel respected? Well, the nice thing
is, it doesn't require a huge shift. Small things can make a big difference. I found that thanking
people, sharing credit, listening attentively, humbly asking questions, acknowledging others and
smiling has an impact.

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It presses on a fundamental question. How do professionals get better at what they do? How do they
get great? And there are two views about this. One is the traditional pedagogical view. That is that you
go to school, you study, you practice, you learn, you graduate, and then you go out into the world and
you make your way on your own. A professional is someone who is capable of managing their own
improvement. That is the approach that virtually all professionals have learned by. That's how doctors
learn, that's how lawyers do, scientists ... musicians. And the thing is, it works. Consider for example
legendary Juilliard violin instructor Dorothy DeLay. She trained an amazing roster of violin virtuosos:
Midori, Sarah Chang, Itzhak Perlman. Each of them came to her as young talents, and they worked with
her over years. What she worked on most, she said, was inculcating in them habits of thinking and of
learning so that they could make their way in the world without her when they were done.

He was describing what great coaches do, and what they do is they are your external eyes and
ears, providing a more accurate picture of your reality. They're recognizing the fundamentals. They're
breaking your actions down and then helping you build them back up again. After two months of
coaching, I felt myself getting better again. And after a year, I saw my complications drop down even
further. It was painful. I didn't like being observed, and at times I didn't want to have to work on things. I
also felt there were periods where I would get worse before I got better. But it made me realize that the
coaches were onto something profoundly important.

It’s a common feeling: while you are busy doing a good job, others seem to be advancing much faster in their careers.
What’s going on?
The answer in many cases is your contributions are not being seen and recognized. One important reason this
happens is that people are simply not great at assessing competence — a crucial trait for succeeding at work — and
perceptions of competence are just as important for success as actual competence.
But don’t results mostly speak for themselves? They don’t, even when it’s all about numbers. Consider a salesman:
his sales may rise, but they could have risen without his effort due to the superior quality of the product or marketing
efforts that finally bore fruit. If sales go down, it could have been the result of increasing competition.
It’s often difficult to disentangle actual drivers of performance, including how much luck and difficulty level played
a role. Because of this, people tend to evaluate competence based on other factors, meaning you have to do more
than produce results to convince them of your expertise. One way to do this is by demonstrating confidence in your
abilities.
In order to convince others of your abilities, you should make it a habit to communicate that you are good at what
you do — without any self-deprecation regarding your core competencies.
This doesn’t always come easy. To feel more authentic demonstrating confidence, you may first have to convince
yourself. Ask yourself: What am I good at? What was my greatest success so far? Why should others be led by me?
What do I know that they don’t? If you have a hard time answering these questions, you have a problem — how
should you convince others of your expertise if you aren’t convinced yourself?
“Praise yourself daringly,” the philosopher Francis Bacon said, because, as he continued, “something always sticks.”
If you want to ensure that your achievements are recognized, think about how your manager and colleagues see
you and your abilities. Do you think they have a good sense of your competence and expertise? If not, could you be
demonstrating more confidence in your tasks? This doesn’t necessarily mean praising yourself at every opportunity;
rather it means projecting an optimistic attitude. By displaying more confidence in your abilities, you set yourself up
to be recognized for your competence and your contributions.

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It’s all about perspective. How you perceive a situation is due to your insecurities, biases, prejudices, experiences
and upbringing at play.

There are 3 types of people in this world: those who watch things happen, those who make things happen and
those who wonder 'what happened?’ I humbly submit the frightening fourth kind: Those who don't care what
happens.

Some of us will do our jobs well and some will not, but we will be judged by only one thing -- the result. Vince
Lombardi

Never complain about people, no matter how justified. Just drive them to complain about you.

Don’t just ask whether you’re proud of what you’ve achieved. Ask whether you’re proud of how you’ve achieved it.
The ends don't justify the means. The means are the measure of your character. You reveal your values in the way
you pursue your goals.

What we don’t value we can’t protect,

To the question of your life, you are the only answer. To the problems of your life, you are the only solution. ~Jo
Coudert

Complaining is a sign that someone has nothing going on in their life.

"Life is a cycle, always in motion, if good times have moved on so will times of trouble!" Indian Proverb

3 peurs qui sont au coeur du travail sur soi :

 La peur de ne pas être important (ignoré)
 La peur de ne pas être compétent (humilié)
 Et la peur de ne pas être aimable (rejeté)
La peur primaire derrière ça : celle de ne pas savoir comment faire face...

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32
Break the habit of smiling when others do poorly and despondent when others do well. This is a losers mentality.
Find something you are good at, that gives you purpose, and focus on it. When you are fulfilling your purpose in
life you are happy when others are fulfilling theirs.

It's easy to criticize but if you really want to change your life and other peoples lives every time you see or think
something good, say it. A single word of encouragement can change the trajectory of your life and those around
you.

Always sow a seed of dissension between the persons nursing jealousy for you. – Chanakya

Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves. Carl Jung

Opportunities multiply as they are seized. Sun Tzu

Some elder statesmen on this app have tweeted so much that they've exposed themselves to insults and low level
engagements. Truth is, when you talk too much, you risk saying something foolish.

I invite you to do a self assessment against each of the habits. 1) Takes initiative- ready to invest extra effort and
time to achieve results (without being told) 2) Excited to learn more, always buzzing with new concepts and trends.
3) Expresses opinions and disagreements boldly yet respectfully 4) Is ambitious- Actively pursues new challenges to
grow 5) Takes charge and lead when required 6) Helps and supports others 7) Is positive and enthusiastic 8)
Organized 9) Stays ahead of schedules 10) Precise in work output 11) Handles stress well- doesn’t get irritated
quickly 12) Friendly and likes spending time with others 13) Comes up with creative ideas 14) Open to ideas,
flexible. Doesn’t let EGO come in the way of a good suggestion 15) Is considered honest and trustworthy.

"We sweat in peace in order not to bleed in war"

Complacency will kill you in life. Always make sure to check yourself and see what you can work on improving. No
one's perfect.

Mr. Harf said it made him think that not enough voices in business were speaking up against the re-emergence of
nationalism and populism in Europe and the United States. Every time business leaders make decisions, he said,
they should ask, “What does this mean for our children? What does it mean for the future?”
“In history, businesses have enabled populists,” he added. “We mustn’t make the same mistake today.” Then he
quoted the Holocaust survivor Simon Wiesenthal: “For evil to flourish, it only requires good men to do nothing.”

Cui bono? literally "to whom is it a benefit?", is a Latin phrase about identifying crime suspects. It expresses the
view that crimes are oftentimes committed to benefit their perpetrators, especially financially. Which party
benefits may not be obvious, and there may be a scapegoat.
Cui bono "to whose benefit?", literally "as a benefit to whom?" is a Latin saying which is still used. The phrase a
double dative construction. It is also rendered as cui prodest. It is a Latin adage that is used either to suggest a
hidden motive or to indicate that the party responsible for something may not be who it appears at first to be.
Commonly the phrase is used to suggest that the person or people guilty of committing a crime may be found
among those who have something to gain, chiefly with an eye toward financial gain. The party that benefits may
not always be obvious or may have successfully diverted attention to a scapegoat, for example. The Roman orator
and statesman Marcus Tullius Cicero, in his speech Pro Roscio Amerino, section 84, attributed the expression cui
bono to the Roman consul and censor Lucius Cassius Longinus Ravilla: Another example of Cicero using "cui bono"
is in his defence of Milo, in the Pro Milone. He even makes a reference to Cassius: "let that maxim of Cassius
apply".

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casus belli : an event or action that justifies or allegedly justifies a war or conflict

While the intention was to get entertained by Vadivelu through his humorous response, I was suddenly stuck by
something that he said in the middle. When queried on what are the three things that he learnt in his 25 years of
acting in Kollywood (Tamil film industry), he responded as follows:
1. I learnt my acting while in the industry
1. Never trust what people say in front of you
1. You can sustain only so long as you produce successes. You are out once you fail
Let us run through this in the corporate world and see how much it resonates.
Lesson 1: Learn while you earn
The corporate world expects you to have sufficient qualification and experience before being trusted with a
position. It expects you to come totally prepared so that you can fire from day one. Hence this clamour for
credentials from superior institutions (IIT’s and IIM’s) and the craving to have star names in your CV. The corporate
world perceives the function to be a job and a process to be driven smoothly. If only it is wired along the lines of
the movie industry where it is tolerant for someone like Vadivelu to learn while on the job , it could have produced
many more leaders today.
Lesson 2: Never trust what people say in front of you
Vadivelu opines that it is nearly impossible to decipher the true intentions when people say something to you. In
other words, they may shower laurels and praises about all your past achievements just to appease your ego,
while on the back they may shamelessly bitch you according to him. The challenge lies in detecting that and find
your winning ways. While this applies to most fields in our lives, it is particularly evident in the corporate world
especially as you climb higher in hierarchy. However, the intensity of such false allurements may be less in the
corporate world especially in surroundings where professionals are engaged. The need to be ethical may force few
to be upright in terms of feedback and may not resort to “back biting”. But that would be a minority I suppose.
Lesson 3: You can sustain only so long as you produce successes. You are out once you fail
In other words, only performance and performance alone matters. Legacy cannot support you even one bit. I see
this apply in several other fields like sports, medicine, etc other than government bureaucracy! In such a scenario,
learning from failures becomes equally if not more important than to clock success.

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10 greatest qualities of a strong LEADER ♦️to explain complex things simply ♦️to apologise and to admit mistakes
♦️to take the blame ♦️to stay positive in negative situations ♦️to see opportunities where others see problems
♦️to take chances on people ♦️to trust and empower ♦️to do what's right even under pressure ♦️to bring out
the best in others ♦️to see the potential in people

We all know the feeling as an individual....

Something goes wrong, we make a mistake, things don’t go as we expect them to.....
Those circumstances are familiar to us all. Anybody who tries to do anything of any significance in life, who wants
to make a difference, who takes the initiative, or who simply goes about their daily tasks to get things done, will
know that things do not always go to plan.
The emotions we feel in response are also similar, disappointment, frustration, deflation, vulnerability, isolation,
disengagement, regret, anger, hostility, confusion. These are all emotions that we all go though - nobody who is
honest with themselves or others will they say they have not experienced these feelings when failure or setback
occurs.
Equally we must also ask and understand what is important to us as human beings in order to overcome these
situations. Whilst we all deal with failure in slightly different ways there is an underlying set of needs we all seek
when these circumstances arise. We usually look for the following
 A chance to explains why things have happened.
 Somebody who is prepared to listen.
 Not be judged, but to be understood.
 The opportunity to try and make amends.
 Help if we need it in finding solutions, be that in a mental, physical or resource based perspective.
 A will and desire to not go through the experience again.
 The opportunity to implement what we think will fix things.
For a leader of any level this appreciation is doubly important, as they do not only have to deal with their own
failures and setbacks but also those of their colleagues and ensure an effective recovery and sustainable solutions
can be found . To understand how to deal with failure a leader must be prepared to look at their own human
reactions when they are in that situation - they must put themselves in other shoes - empathy must be the driving
emotional state for an effective response to be formulated to failure.
A leader that operates without empathy can never truly deal with all the underlying dynamics of failure, because
they can never see the full picture of all the forces that created the issue in the first place.
How we deal with adversity and setback is perhaps one of the most difficult decision gates we walk through on the
journey of growth and development in leadership. It challenges our most basic foundations and values. It asks
questions of our very DNA as a human being and the beliefs we hold. It puts pressure on us and how we respond.
As always as leaders we face choices. Recrimination or supported recovery? The temptation can be huge towards
the former - yet we must all walk towards the latter, no matter what the pressure.
For a leader who blames people for mistakes as their initial reaction will quickly discover their ability to recover
and respond to scenarios is severely constrained - as in most cases the implementation of solutions lie with those
who were involved in the mistake in the first instance.
As human beings we will all make mistakes (Leaders are not exempt.) - a leader must accept that fact. It is an
inevitable and given condition if we are to push boundaries and seek to improve at the edges of what we are
capable of. That does not make a person incompetent or ineffective. It also does not mean that individuals should
be automatically moved on. For if that is your approach you are highly likely to replace that person with another
human being who makes similar mistakes. Or you will generate a culture where growth and improvement are not
encouraged and fostered though fear of reprisals.
The quicker that we accept that the vast majority of our colleagues arrive at work to actually try to do a good job
and not a bad one then the quicker we can get on with the real challenge. Which is how we ensure the mistakes
are not repeated and we grow from the experience.
The ambition of all leaders must be to build a culture of mutual support and dependence not only amongst
colleagues but also amongst themselves and colleagues. If that condition is created then teams can then feel free

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to challenge and question and then grow - knowing full well that their basic human needs of emotional support
and well being will be taken care of. When people feel they have the safety net of their colleagues and leaders
support no matter what then they are much more prepared to be honest, address critical issues and reach for the
highest branches of performance without fear of reprisal or castigation.
As always as leaders we must search our basic day to day approach for the answers and actions. They will be the
key in determining whether colleagues feel such support and engagement . These must include
 Increasing your presence and proximity to colleagues in their environment.
 Be open and transparent on communication -face the elephant in the room.
 Creating opportunities for smaller group discussions on issues.
 Allocating more time for 1 to 1 s with team members
 Accepting of our responsibility of situations.
 Allowing time for individual reflection and analysis
 Listen - a lot - and with all your senses not just your ears.
 Assessing structural support models for flaws
 Assessing resource models for miss or under allocation
 Looking at your own leadership gap - what could you have done better to stop this happening
 Being robust and relentless in the delivery of all corrective actions - not just the ones you feel like.
There are reasons and moments to change team personnel and in many ways one of the truest tests of a great
leader over time is to judge those moments well and intelligently. This approach in no way suggests that people
change and team evolution is not an important and integral part of a journey towards excellence. Simply that it
should not be our most immediate response to failure. The revolving door should only be used at the entrance to a
building - not as a tool to deal with performance.
In many ways attitude and mentally is a much more of an important determinant factor than capability in those
situations when personnel change is considered. Yet even in that a leader has to look at themselves first before
judging others. We all deserve a chance, so ask what is the cause of behaviour not judge what they people doing
first.
What is clear is that we need to accept setbacks as an inevitable condition of growth and as Vincent Lombardi
reminded us “it is not getting knocked down that matters, it is how we get up that counts.” In that leaders have a
fundamental role to play through creating a culture of support and interdependence from where they can then
facilitate challenge.and growth.
Let your teams flourish from adversity, be the leader who gives them that chance. build a culture where we all aim
to look after each other - it does indeed make a huge difference.

Points on developing critical thinking skills and how you can broaden your own critical thinking abilities are as
follows:
 Ask Open-Ended Questions: One of the starting points of developing critical thinking abilities is to ask
basic “what” or “how” questions. Don’t accept assumptions and statements as is and make sure you
develop the mental ability to question. However, it is also important to manage the fine line between
asking effective questions and too many questions or posing too many challenges!
 Change Your Lens: Broaden your outlook by overcoming your inherent biases and assumptions to look at
issues or situations through other perspectives. Be aware of your own mental processes and heuristics
(mental shortcuts).
 Info Gather: Use facts, data, theories and do your research thoroughly to ensure that you understand the
different viewpoints and compare arguments on the subject matter. Don’t fall prey to unsourced claims
and develop the ability to identify them.
 Don’t Make It Personal: It is important to self-check to ensure that you take an objective view of the topic
at hand. Strong critical thinkers do their best to evaluate information objectively and recognize their own
biases.

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  Draw Conclusions: The ability to make inferences and draw conclusions from the information presented
to you is another key skill to mastering the art of critical thinking. Remember, an inference is an educated
guess and your ability to make an inference will depend on your ability to gather as much information,
understand different perspectives and assess before jumping to any conclusions.
 Read Smart: In the Forbes August 2018 report, they identified the ability to learn how to learn and read
intelligently as key skills to stay relevant. With the volume of information available to us today, it is
important to master the art of “reading smart” to hone in on the relevant information.
 Be Open-Minded: Curiosity, humility and the ability to receive feedback and critique on our viewpoints is
equally important. When presenting our analyses, it is also important to give equal weightage to
alternative opinions or recommendations. They could help in making our argument stronger!
Remember, you don’t have to think critically all the time but use it as an effective tool for you to deploy when
solving important problems or making key decisions!

The world's best CEOs also: Anticipate & identify opportunities Maintain a competitive advantage Stay on top of
technological advances Ensure customer satisfaction Develop business & build partnerships Take calculated risks
Drive continuous change Advocate diversity & inclusion Hold their hands up & admit mistakes Humbly receive &
act on feedback Inspire through their courage AND vulnerability Manage their emotions & show compassion while
others work through theirs Face scrutiny, criticism, failure & blame with grace, resilience and strength There is no
such thing as the PERFECT leader. Not a single person alive will excel in ALL these things. But a great leader will
excel in more than just empowering others.

It is important to try new things, even if you fail at them. You never know what you might discover - an idea,
person, or opportunity. And some ideas, people, or opportunities can change everything. You stagnate when you
cling to the old.

You don't owe everyone an explanation. People are also responsible for figuring out what the issue is. You have
the right to remain silent sometimes.

Everything that happens to me is a Result of my own Decisions" Acquire this Mindset. (Fuck whether the thought is
100% Accurate or not) - Past Bitterness will Vanish. - Proactivity for the Future will Step in. - Life will be Lived well
in the Present.

The best revenge is to move on, get over it, and continue to succeed. Never give someone the satisfaction of
watching you suffer

Why I respect fit people...bc fit people are more than how good they look

A well built body is a status symbol

It reflects

hard work
dedication
discipline
self-respect
dignity for one’s self
patience
work ethic
passion

So, before you judge..think about this

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38
"You can't change what happened in the past but you can change the way you perceive it." Jocko Willink

Active listening improves your speaking.

Why?

Because good speaking requires remaining present.

When you rarely listen, you stay in your head & overthink.

Results?

Sloppy speech.

But when you listen, remain present, you clear your head.

Now you're precise with words.

Tell yourself,"If I've made it through X and I can make it through Y." Worthy mantra to keep in your mind when you
go through new challenges and adversities. Repeat it as often as necessary.

Why people are miserable: -lack of purpose -lack of fulfilling relationships -poor self-image -sedentariness -no
connection to nature -chasing dopamine highs -no discipline -trash diet -comparing oneself to others -lack of self-
respect -scarcity mindset -toxic environment

He who sacrifices his conscience to ambition burns a picture to obtain the ashes. - Chinese Proverb

To achieve, you need thought. You have to know what you are doing and that's real power. Ayn Rand

Major drivers of human behavior:

-Self-interest: How does it serve the person?

-Status: How does it improve their social standing?
-Convenience: What is the path of least resistance?
-Signaling: What does it signal to others?

A smart business person will appeal to these areas.

If you can't change your circumstances, change how you feel about them.

More important than talent, strength, or knowledge is the ability to laugh at yourself and enjoy the pursuit of your
dreams. -Amy Grant

What you don't see with your eyes, don't invent with your mouth. -Jewish

The better your life gets, the less relevant other people become. The worse your life is, the more you care about
what everyone thinks. If you have things going on, other people quickly fade to the background.

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The biggest mistake you can make as a new manager is to start thinking of yourself as a superior professional than
your team members. If you begin your voyage as a manager with that attitude, don’t expect yourself to make it far.
There is a world of difference between being friendly and being over polite. Being a friendly and a polite manager
is fine as long as you know it is not putting a negative impact on the business.
You cannot afford to carry the burden of someone who is making mistakes continuously, and not learning from.
Your role as the manager of the team is to mentor people. This does not mean that you are here to hide their
mistakes and make friends.
One of the biggest mistakes that ever new manager makes is that they don’t look at the bigger picture. They don’t
think about strategies for the longer run. Yes it is understandable that you are a little complacent about taking risks
when you are starting your professional career as a manager. But, at the same time you cannot be overcautious
just thinking about the present.
Great managers have great hindsight. They plan for the future and inspire the team to look at the bigger picture.
They learn from the past, and make short term decisions which have a long term impact. They do all the
calculations before taking risks.

This is something that every professional can learn from a chef — preparation. No matter it is a large project or a
small one, if you want to succeed in it you must invest quite a big chunk of your time in preparing for it. This will
ensure that when things start to heat up, you’ve got all the ingredients handy for a smooth sailing in the project.
As the world renowned food writer and broadcaster Nigella Lawson puts it,” And cooking is about balance and
harmony.” Good communication is the one key ingredient that can bring balance and harmony in the kitchen.
When in the kitchen, things happen at a lightning quick speed. And, any miscommunication can completely ruin
the dish.
A chef does not involve in verbal gymnasts when he/she’s cooking. The orders are always clear and concise.
Whenever he/she asks something the answer by the subordinates is generally in a Yes Chef or No Chef!
The lesson we can learn here is to communicate in a clear and concise manner; as it ensures that there is minimal
communication stretch. Also, the team members gather the information in quick time. And, all in all the world
becomes less complicated.
A chef knows that kitchen is a place where things can always get messy. That’s why tasting of the dish goes on at
every step so that they can detect even the most minute imbalance.
Now, this according to me is the golden rule that applies not only in the kitchen, but in personal as well as
professional life of every individual. Things can go awry, but you must be mentally prepared to make quick
decisions and bring things back on track.
That’s exactly how the chefs do it. Whenever they feel an imbalance in the dish, they are ready for addition and
attrition. So, should you when things are not going as intended in your project.
Whenever I think of the word passion, the image of Gordon comes right into my mind. The only reason a chef is
able to win hearts of people with his cooking is because he is passionate about it. He does not cook halfheartedly.
Whereas most of us in our professional life don’t do that.
We don’t strive for perfection, and that’s why life starts to appear more like drudgery. Learn to be passionate
about whatever you do; don’t do it halfheartedly. And, things will start to fall in their right place on their own.

One of the greatest upheavals in life is caused by just one emotion. Fear.
Both fear of the known and unknown. Our lives run with an undercurrent of fearful thoughts such as fear of
rejection, loneliness, status and so on. These very fears breed into our sense of lack of control and downright
helplessness. And this fuels certain needless decisions, that might not achieve what we want and create far-
reaching ripples of havoc across different lives.

Reste maintenant à décrocher les étoiles tout en gardant les pieds sur terre.

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Back in the 1600 century, the Roman Catholic Church faced an interesting dilemma. As it considered candidates for
sainthood, the Vatican had a hard time finding dissenting viewpoints to argue against a potential candidate’s
elevation. Who would publicly and vigorously oppose the canonization of a presumed saint? Yet due diligence
required someone to make the counter argument
So the Vatican came up with an official position to take on the role of the opposition: The devil’s advocate. This not
only gave the dissenting perspective sanctioned standing, but also empowered the Vatican to seek out differing
points of view.
Having a devil’s advocate can help your own decision making by forcing you to question your assumptions. Often
what we take as a given does not hold up under scrutiny. Your devil’s advocate can uncover those blind spots and
help you anticipate unforeseen challenges and obstacles. Their purpose is to encourage you to take into account
information that you may have otherwise failed to consider.
Your devil’s advocate could be a trusted adviser or a friend, preferably one who cares more about you than your
feelings. You can be your own devil’s advocate, but that requires a rigorous and fraught process to avoid building
an autobahn of confirmation bias.

Coaching is one of the best kept secrets at Wall Street hedge funds. Coaches work with traders to help them keep
calm and increase their awareness of their behavior in high-stress situations. Not all of us are hedge fund
managers trading millions of dollars a day, but we could certainly use elements of coaching to help us improve our
day-to-day decisions.

The coach’s most important function is to listen non-judgmentally and ask probing questions. They won’t offer any
magical formula, but by encouraging you to externalize your thoughts, they can help you find the perspective that
can lead to breakthrough ideas and solutions. So you don’t have to engage a professional psychologist or other
PhD to benefit from coaching. Simply a trusted friend or advisor will do. In fact, just talking to rubber duck can
provide some clarity. Computer programmers employ this approach as an effective de-bugging strategy. The very
act of explaining a problem out loud can help find solutions.

As Tim Pychyl, the author of Solving the Procrastination Puzzle, explains: “We have a brain that is selected for
preferring immediate reward. Procrastination is the present-self saying I would rather feel good now. So we delay
engagement even though it’s going to bite us on the butt.”

According to research by DePaul University, we procrastinate when our brains become overwhelmed with
conflicting emotions.

Fear of failure: We worry the outcome won’t be perfect.

Impulsiveness: We get distracted by sexier activities that pop up while we are about to launch.
Denial: We don’t like doing certain things, so we erase them from our mind.
Rebelliousness: When we feel forced to do something, we just fight back and resist.

Five essential practices for an ‘infinite mindset’ From Simon Sinek’s The Infinite Game:

 Advance a just cause, a positive and specific vision of the future that is inclusive, service-
oriented, resilient and idealistic.
 Build trusting teams of people who feel safe expressing themselves.
 Study your worthy rivals, who have strengths and abilities from which you could learn.
 Prepare for existential flexibility, adopting a capacity to initiate extreme disruption to your
business model or strategic course.
 Demonstrate the courage to lead, a willingness to change our perception of how the world
works.

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“You should use your philosophy to remove your faults, not to criticize other people’s.” Seneca

Ways to “Learn Like an Athlete.” 1. Write every day 2. Read every day 3. Teach 4. Chat with smart
people who will disagree with you 5. Surround yourself with good people who make you smarter.

"The more you learn, the easier it is to learn. Pick the right projects, and you’ll develop a personal
network effect, where each new skill increases the value of skills you already have."

Never forget what you have gone through to get where you are today. It’s the past that led you to this
place. Be grateful.

"Intelligence is the ability to adapt to change." -Stephen Hawking

We all suffer from confirmation bias. Even if you believe you're very open-minded and only observe the
facts before coming to conclusions, it's very likely that some bias will shape your opinion in the end. It's
very difficult to combat this natural tendency.

People who take everything personally usually have an ego problem they're in denial of our not aware
of. They feel entitled to be treated to a ridiculous standard by everyone, no matter the circumstances.

Success is not just monetary.

You need:

✅ Money (freedom / ability to say no)

✅ Mindset (calmness / happiness)
✅ Physicality (health / energy)

If you lack even one, you're not there yet.

Great leaders learn from listening! Great leaders are great teachers, not police officers. Great leaders
work with their staff, not above them.

From an engineering standpoint, stress can be defined as the amount of resistance a material offers to
being reshaped and reformed. When you place a load on a steel beam, the beam resists, keeping the
building from collapsing. If the load is great enough, the beam gives way, and the structure suffers
damage or collapses. Psychological stress is similar. When we can no longer resist forces that are trying
to shape and mold us, whether they are our spouse’s behavior or our nation’s economic decline, we
break down, becoming anxious and depressed, unable to cope.

As ancient stoics say, you can't always control your circumstances, but you can control your reaction to
them.

Believe in Butterfly Effect: Eric, you will find little action that you take today can have a huge
consequence to your life later on. Take action today, no matter how small it is.

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The take-home message: not only can older adults learn multiple new skills at the same time in the right
environment and with the right beliefs, but doing so may improve their cognitive functioning
considerably. (https://blogs.scientificamerican.com/observations/think-youre-too-old-to-learn-new-
tricks/)

It is better to light a single candle than to curse the darkness. - Chinese Proverb

"A man is great by his deeds, not by his birth" – Chanakya

A people without faith in themselves cannot survive. - Chinese Proverb

Most don't want facts. Most want to hear things that support their preexisting worldview - real or not.
In fact, most get frustrated when shown facts, because now they have to accommodate more lies to
sustain the dissonance. And they'll hate you for increasing their burden.

Successful Men : 1. Constant Learners 2. Fiercely Competitive 3. Brave, Take Calculated Risks 4. Love
Solving Problems 5. Equanimous in Success & Failure 6. Original, Independent thinkers 7. Possess Untold
Emotional Resilience 8. Masters at Taking Initiative in all Situations

Business leaders make decisions each day: big and small, positive and negative. All of them affect
employees, customers, shareholders, communities, and even society as a whole. To make these
decisions in moral and ethical ways, I believe we must adapt the essential qualities of a leader.
Successful leaders today and in the decades to come must possess triple-threat leadership capability:
IQ+EQ+DQ. In other words, they must possess a combination of two familiar attributes — intellect and
emotional intelligence — and one that I believe must be recognized and elevated: decency.

Competency in business is essential, and intellect, which I refer to here as IQ, is probably the trait most
commonly associated with successful business leadership. We aren’t talking just about an IQ test score,
but about the broad idea of business competency and an understanding of what it takes to be successful
today.

Most leaders are also familiar with the concept of EQ, which is the self-awareness of emotions, both
others’ and your own. Possessing high EQ means a manager can understand how someone is feeling and
can read a room and act on that information. However, EQ doesn’t mean a person’s actions take into
account what is best for others. Emotional awareness and empathy don’t equate to compassion and
integrity. People can have EQ yet use it to manipulate people for self-interest. EQ doesn’t always mean
doing the right thing.

A decency quotient, or DQ, goes a step further than EQ. DQ implies a person has not only empathy for
employees and colleagues but also the genuine desire to care for them. DQ means wanting something
positive for everyone in the workplace and ensuring everyone feels respected and valued. DQ is evident
in daily interactions with others. DQ implies a focus on doing right by others.

Ajay Banga, the CEO of Mastercard, was the first person to tell me about DQ, in a talk in front of our
students at Duke University’s Fuqua School of Business. “IQ is really important. EQ is really important.

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What really matters to me is DQ,” Banga explained. “If you can bring your decency quotient to work
every day, you will make the company a lot of fun for people — and people will enjoy being there and
doing the right thing.”

Unfortunately, we have far too many examples in business of what happens when decency fails. The
Great Recession is a case in point. Ten years later, business, particularly in the financial sector, is still
trying to win back trust from a public who came to believe the industry was greedy, self-serving, and
focused on the bottom line at the expense of the greater good.

Calling out problems without proposing solutions is complaining. Suggesting potential fixes is
constructive. Testing them is proactive.

If the industrial era was anchored around working for compliance, the digital age calls for encouraging
both creativity and productivity among employees. This means that where leaders would once provide
direction and discourage risk-taking, they are now required to encourage autonomy and a “fail-fast"
work environment. The industrial age valued knowledge and know-how, whereas the digital era places a
premium on learning agility (an ability to unlearn and relearn at a rapid pace, thereby staying relevant
and productive at work). Employees are required to work with what Stanford psychologist Carol Dweck
calls a growth mindset: “People believe that their most basic abilities can be developed through
dedication and hard work—brains and talent are just the starting point. This view creates a love of
learning and a resilience that is essential for great accomplishment."

For many, agility is synonymous with speed and quick decision-making. However, when looked at as a
new way of working, agility can be unlocked by focusing on four connecting pillars: customer centricity;
a continuous learning approach; the ability to drive change by focusing at both the “now" and the
“next"; and an adaptive leadership style that fits the situation at hand.

"Improvise, adapt, overcome"

"Don't be overheard complaining...Not even to yourself." Marcus Aurelius

Stop taking things too personally: - if someone’s rude it could be his own issues - take criticism as a self
improvement tool - realize you can’t please all - know that your self worth depends on you and not on
what others say.

‘People have the right to their opinion. And you have the right to ignore it.’

The best way to gain self-confidence is to do what you are afraid to do.

The quality of decision is like the well-timed swoop of a falcon which enables it to strike and destroy its
victim.

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One of my favourite quotes about secrets and lies comes from the poet Lemn Sissay... “It’s not black, it’s
not white, it’s not dark, it’s not light Secrets are the stones that sink the boat. Take them out, look at
them, Throw them out and float.

He who sacrifices his conscience to ambition burns a picture to obtain the ashes. - Chinese Proverb

Most serious students of political history are in general agreement that the personality of the person at
the top does end up defining an organisation’s élan and its collective behaviour. And, historians often
trace a leader’s failures and accomplishments to the strengths and weaknesses of his/her personality—
their anxieties, the nature of childhood experience, the content and circumstances of adolescent
socialisation, the inner moral struggles in adult life, the spiritual scars acquired in public life, etcetera.

When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves…Everything
can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms — to choose one’s attitude in
any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.

Be brave when you are scared. Be humble when you are successful. Be silent when you are angry. Be
kind - always.

We are constantly learning and evolving in our relationship. These are some of my survival tips:
1- Encourage the other person to have some time without you, ie gym, nights out with friends.
2- Be more aware of our own behaviour, it is easy to take it on the people closest to you when you are
stressed. Such reaction could soon escalate and make work and home life a lot worse, so control your
emotions, have few minutes to calm down to avoid an outburst which you could soon regret
3- Talk to each other, a breakdown in communication is deleterious with a patient, a colleague and of
course at home with our loved ones. So if we make such an effort at work, why can't we do the same at
home?
4- Put yourself in the other person's shoes, if we don't look at things from another point of you, we can
never understand each other or move on. Be empathetic, listen, be there.

"Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In
our response lies our growth and our freedom." Viktor E. Frankl, Man's Search For Meaning.
I have the power to control my responses, I can change things I do not like and that make me unhappy.
Example, when feeling unaccomplished in my professional career, and I look back at my achievements, I
can see that I have achieved the goals I had set out in the past. Therefore I reflect and drive myself to
think another way. I cannot blame anyone else or circumstances for the way I feel, I am responsible for
my own life and decisions, I am capable and I just need to action all those ideas and plans that are in my
head. I am the only person responsible for achieving or not achieving those goals.

L’investisseur valeur n’a pas toujours raison. Il doit faire preuve d’auto-critique, d’humilité et admettre
lorsqu'il a tort afin d'éviter de répéter les mêmes erreurs. Tout cela va à l’encontre de la nature
humaine.

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Commonly referred to as the “three Vs”—visual, vocal, and verbal— Mehrabian’s communication model
is still used today. In fact, the combination of these elements, says Ansel, is what fuels charisma.

Being a lawyer, he believed in negotiations, give and take, and dialogue, and talking things out.

The goal of the government is to serve the people. And unfortunately the demands of the people have
increased on TV programmes and other means of communication but some officials do not have the
nerve to deal with the requests or even to respond to their questions. I know there are challenges but
avoiding them does not solve them.

More importantly, we are a country that has the courage to face facts, review and continually adjust
strategies to quickly move ahead towards the future.

On a une tendance d’agir qu’en temps de crises. Connaître mieux les réalités, les enjeux et les
opportunités sont, certes, très bénéfiques dans le long-terme.

1.Humility-When you are not humble,you stop listening to everyone and this will leads you to stop
learning anything new. And at the ending of this point,He suggest to Thanks everyone whosoever help
them in their tough times. 2.Brevity:-One of the best things which he said was,Think Deeply but speak
briefly. 3.Self-Knowledge:-What he means by this is the knowledge of own self. And also told his parents
advised who told him to not follow or set one person as his role model and by following this advice he
further mention that he always try to learn from everyone. And recommend to everyone to considering
as person by whose failure and success people can learn not to consider him as their role model.

Apparently it was Paul Samuelson, not Keynes, who said that when his information changed, he changed
his mind -- what do you do? Whatever the source, it's the right thing. Show me someone who never
changes their mind, and I'll show you someone without much mind at all.

If you feel like you're losing everything, remember that trees lose their leaves every year and they still
stand tall and wait for better days to come.

The best way to gain self-confidence is to do what you are afraid to do.

Envy is a mirror that shows what you find lacking in yourself.

Adopt the habit of pausing before action to ask yourself - “what makes the most sense right now?”

"I am not afraid of storms, for I have learned how to sail my ship." Louisa May Alcott

People will hate you, rate you, shake you, and break you. But how strong you stand is what makes you. -
Unknown

Self-control is Strength Calmness is Power

Where one person sees a crisis, another can see opportunity.

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Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind. Always

Without rain. Nothing grows. Learn to embrace the storms of your life.

A man's greatest asset is his ability to think for himself.

Straight roads do not make skillful drivers.

When giving advice, don't give it condescendingly, give it gracefully. Don't be "appalled" by their lack of
information. Because there are a billion things you still don't know. Be humble! You can teach and lift
their ignorance, and still be respectful and courteous.

You cannot expect your mind and body to perform to a high level without being in great condition. The
mind and the body work in a perpetual feedback loop. Making my body sharper and stronger has made
my mind sharper and stronger. Exert yourself for a worthy cause. It's hard to feel lack of mental clarity
after running for 5 miles or doing an overhead press. Push yourself physically and courageously and you
will feel powerful. Use the body to control and influence the mind.
Change your own internal narrative. Your own thoughts become your actions, and your actions over
time display your character. Too many people and myself included are way too harsh on themselves and
willing to put labels on themselves which limit their potential.

One thing I have a tendency to watch out for: How readily a man expresses his annoyance at situations
he can't control (e.g. traffic, long lineups, and other minor inconveniences). You're basically signalling to
me that you're mentally weak. You can't always control your situation, but you can control how you
react to it.

Always reflect upon maximising the value of all your interactions public & private. The best of meetings
revolve around calling to the help of others, especially when they are unaware of your assistance for
them.

"Overprepare. Do the work. Be intense. It’s that attitude and work ethic that starts attracting people and
opportunities. You start accomplishing things you weren’t supposed to accomplish. You start believing in
yourself. This is the key to success."
More important than the will to win is the will to prepare. Preparation is everything!

Life is a journey, sometimes fraught with challenges. For some, it might be filled with innumerable
unpleasant situations. However, for some, it might be a smooth sailing journey filled with luck and joy.
However, this difference is superficial if only we accept the challenges and confront them head-on. We
have the innate potential to transform any situation. It all begins with the “willingness” to do so. The
same has been portrayed by great time revolutionaries of all times in the fields of technology, science
etc.
Successful people are the ones who did taste failures and never gave up. Challenges are bound to be
there if one sets towards achievement of dreams. They are infact a testimony to the fact that we are
sailing in the right direction. It brings to us the choice of responses – either complain and begrudge the
situation with “(wh)Y me” or being grateful towards the challenges with “Yes me”, the challenges that
gave us more opportunities to refine ourselves and be closer towards victory. This is what sets apart the
successful people. They replaced their complains with gratitude.

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48
Information/data is not wisdom/thought. Having google in your pocket doesn't empower you to be
entrepreneur, become a teacher, doctor, physiotherapist, engineer etc etc etc... most of us non-
genuises need to be taught skills.. Anyway, for a start one needs to be able to read, analyse, filter and
communicate to make good use of the internet... Even when I was at school (few decades ago!) only a
small part was memorisation. Most of it was how to apply/use information/data so that faced with a
new context or environment one could take new data and move forward. Finally, when asked what he
would do.. well he offers no alternative education approach.. just says that 'it's the parents
responsibility' ?? Funny, I thought he was going to say "ask Alexa".

It does not matter how slowly you go, so long as you do not stop. Confucius

Today I was having an argument with my husband about something really petty. In the midst of
argument something strange came over me. Under normal circumstances I am hardly the one to give up
my point so easily but something inside me asked me to step back. I decided to go with the voice inside
my head.
On stepping back I wondered why is it necessary to feel so threatened or personally attacked when
someone challenges my views. And the answer was so clear that I wondered why I never realized it
before. It was my egoic mind which was at play, which is why it felt attacked when someone went
against it's thoughts. And it retaliated in defense in an equally fierce manner leading to conflict.
Later when I was calm I heard my husband's point of view in a calm and unbiased way , without judging
or labelling it as right or wrong. And then equally calmly explained him my view. Without egoic mind at
play we were able to communicate without getting hyper and emotional.
So when I reflect back on this , I realise that whenever you feel threatened or attacked by someone's
view point , it's always better to step away because initial reaction comes from the egoic mind which
does not allow us to absorb and respond well.
Does it mean that you accept something which you do not want to accept? Not at all, it simply means
that you communicate your reasons for denial without emotions attached to it. It instantly becomes less
personal and bitter and hence no reason for conflict.
Moment you accept other person as is without any judgement or labels, there is no reason for conflict
in any relationship. This is really so simple but still we continue to judge and colour everything around us
by the lens in which we see the world.

Tune out those that have opinions but no skin in the game. As a mentor of mine used to say "Put your
money where your mouth is or shut your mouth."

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Mentally tough people are the ones who rarely react. They have mastered the art of breathing slowly
before making their next move.

"Everything that has a beginning has an ending. Make your peace with that and all will be well." Buddha

Shy people are either overthinking or highly observant of the social setting. And in many cases it can be
both. 'So what do I do?' You learn the 75/25 law. 'What is that?'
The law of charisma...👇
Let's address the over thinkers first. Do you have any idea why you overthink? 'Yea. Because others are
judging how shy I am.' Incorrect.
Others are thinking about themselves, not you. But the fact that you think they are thinking about you,
you fuck up the interaction. Now you stay in your head too much & avoid the present moment.
A major no no in the social world. Your tendency to think that others are judging you for being shy,
coincidentally makes you more shy. And that's when you start giving off a strange vibration to the social
setting.
This is when you begin attracting comments like 'why are you so quiet? ‘It’s not the other person who
did that.
It's YOU who did that. When you have the awareness to realize that overthinking:
1. Is born from an illusion of being watched. 2. Attracts the wrong vibes
You become much more mindful & stay in the present moment. Next, let's talk about the people who
are highly observant.
Although their mouth isn't running, their mind is. They pick up on social cues which are not being
noticed by others. Most people are splitting their attention to being aware & speaking. This group of shy
people are placing most of their attention on being aware rather than speaking. So this group has an
edge in terms of social awareness. If you're going to be shy, this is the group you want to be in.
'Why?' Because solid social awareness helps with listening skills. And listening skills build social
awareness. This is the path towards charisma. So earlier I mentioned a 75/25 rule.
That means: ☆75% listening & 25% speaking. If you look at most charismatic people, you'll see they
often follow this rule.
A shy person is: ☆~95% listening & 5% speaking. That's just a rough average. So in order to become
more charismatic you aren't talking THAT much more. Just ~20% more.
Speaking just ~20% more has you feeling more active in the dialogue & actually allows other people to
remember you. You're not talking 90% more or something bold like that.
Just 20 ish. If you can't do that, then idk what to tell ya. You're undermining your potential. Start viewing
your shy stage as a warmup phase to your charisma stage. That's the best way to look at it. Use your shy
stage to build social awareness & your listening muscle. Those are the foundations of any human
interaction. Once you have a strong foundation set, you'll realize incrementally raising your talking
percentage is the easy part !
This thread has now given you a blueprint on how to handle shyness. Having the blueprint will allow you
to move with intent vs. hesitancy. Intent is what will allow you to make significant changes. So use your
shyness as a weapon vs. an excuse to be a wimp! You'll see the compound effects in no time.

Be mindful of your tonality when you disagree with someone. The wrong tone will make a respectable
disagreement sound like hating to the other persons ego.

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No matter how pure your heart and actions are, someone will have a negative thing to say about you. It
has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them. Care less.

Worrying is useless. This is how you stop it. Ask yourself: Can I do something about it? 1. Yes. I'll do
(actions) and overcome it. No need to worry. 2. No, I can't. So why worry? It's not going to solve
anything.

No matter how tall the mountain, it cannot block out the sun. -Unknown

Nothing is so dangerous as an ignorant friend; A wise enemy is worth more. -Jean De la Fontaine

Understanding does not mean condoning. You want to understand anyone to deepen your perspectives
& strengthen your empathy muscle. Condoning is what you need to have strict standards with.

"A well built physique is a status symbol. It reflects you worked hard for it, no money can buy it. You
cannot borrow it, you cannot inherit it, you cannot steal it. You cannot hold onto it without constant
work." -Arnold Schwarzenegger

8 things that make me respect a man. 1. He doesn't kneel to the masses 2. He stays fit 3. He challenges
himself 4. He doesnt blame others for his shortcomings 5. He provides for his family 6. He lifts other
men up 7. He keeps his word 8. He relentlessly seeks to improve/

If you want to succeed, stop worrying about looking foolish, stupid, or silly. One of the best ways to
learn is by asking questions.

More important than talent, strength, or knowledge is the ability to laugh at yourself and enjoy the
pursuit of your dreams. -Amy Grant

People who don’t take responsibility for their lives and always blame outside circumstances will never
experience self love.

"The first step toward change is awareness. The second step is acceptance." -Nathaniel Branden

A little test Show her a beautiful woman. Not a celebrity, not an Instagram model. Just a beautiful
woman from your social circle/city. Say:”I might fuck her” If she gets angry. She respects your ability. If
she laughs, saying you couldn’t do it, she knows you’re weak.

If you can learn self control. You can master anything. Self-control is strength. It gives you right
thoughts, right attitude, patience and calmness. It's mastery of determination, perseverance, resilience
and diligence. It's maturity. It's power.

Maturation begins to happen when you can see what others are blind to. Energy, thought patterns,
lessons in the making etc.

I cannot solve the worlds problems. All I can do is solve my own problem. When I attempt to solve the
world’s problems, I become a problem ...

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Don’t turn away from challenges. If you want to get better at anything, you’ve got to stress yourself. Just
make sure that you follow these challenges with periods of rest and recovery. Whether in sport or in life,
too much stress without enough rest leads to injury, illness, and burnout. The equation you need to
remember is: Stress + Rest = Growth.

Two Rules of Conversation:

1. Don’t assume people know what you’re talking about

2. Don’t assume you know what other people are talking about

-You’ll reach more people if you avoid making them feel stupid

-You’ll learn from people if you can keep an open mind

If you see someone who rarely complains, complain, then:

▪the situation is really bad.

▪they really trust you.
▪both.

Success requires no explanations. Failure permits no alibis. Napoleon Hill

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The more emotionally intelligent you become, the more you can view your emotions from 3rd
perspective, not 1st. This allows you to understand that dark emotions are simply data, not an identity.

The time is always right to do what is right. Martin Luther King, Jr.

People fail because they think they know what they really do not know. Based on that false premise they
step out and experience failure. There is really no problem with "failing" once you understand it's
feedback, real time. The problem begins when you refuse to humble yourself. Humble yourself and start
reading books, learning from others. Many refuse to learn from others but stay in the place of prayer.
They arrogantly think they know more than those who have what they desire yet they refuse to learn
from them. This is when real failing occurs, pride.

You don't have to be in the mood in order to give your spouse sex, communication, affection, etc ... if
your spouse needs any of those things, happily meet their needs. That's called marriage ... and putting
your spouse above yourself.

Don’t run away from problems. Run towards your problems. Face them head on. Problems are the
necessary steps on the road to your success. The first step towards solving a problem — Acknowledge it
!

"Do not think of your faults, still less of others’ faults; look for what is good and strong, and try to
imitate it."- John Ruskin

Understand, don't memorize.

I'd rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I'm not. Kurt Cobain

Worrying is a waste of time. Good and bad things happen in life, you just have to keep living and not
stress over what you can't control.

A vacant mind is open to all suggestions as a hollow building echoes all sounds. - Chinese Proverb

Read, every day, something no one else is reading. Think, every day, something no one else is thinking.
Do, every day, something no one else would be silly enough to do. It is bad for the mind to be always
part of unanimity. —Christopher Morley

It is usually in the best interest of the business owner to treat his/her employees well and to pay them
more than the bare minimum. It’s a concept that is called efficiency wage – it increases employee
productivity and reduces the company’s costs of looking for new employees.

Charismatic people are able to put full focus on the person they are speaking with. They are so good
with their ability to block out distraction & focus, that it has the other person feeling like a lowkey
celebrity.

Seek out and listen to people who you consistently learn something from, not who you happen to agree
with.

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“In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing. The worst thing you can do is
nothing.” - Theadore Roosevelt, 26th President of The United States.

But advice on action needed and decisions that should be avoided were ignored.

If birds gather on any spot, it is unoccupied.

People spend years living very unhealthy lifestyles not attending to their bodies. And when they
suddenly fall ill, they'd rather believe it's some spiritual forces that is against them than take any
responsibility for their actions. Same with some people that end up poor. Life gave them multiple
opportunities to build wealth, or at the very least, to build a comfortable life. But they squandered it
every single time. Then they blame something or someone on the outside for their misfortune.
Folks, no one is chasing you. Your choices and decisions 2-3 years ago have determined where you are
today. And your choices and decisions today will shape the next 2-3 years of your future. And this is
applicable across board. God is not mocked, whatever you sew, you will reap. his is one of the reasons
why I consume knowledge even outside my core interest, I watch the company I keep and most of all, I
try to maintain my physical and mental health through exercise. People underestimate how these
activities add vitality to your life as you grow older.

"Remember that sometimes not getting what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck." - The Dalai Lama

“The older you get, the more quiet you become. Life humbles you so deeply as you age. You realize how
much nonsense you’ve wasted time on.”

"Success is as dangerous as failure. Hope is as hollow as fear." — Lao Tzu

When you catch yourself judging someone remember you don’t know their past or their parents’, or
grandparents’, and also, that not everyone had an equal access to a good education.

Ignore the loud voices encouraging you to: > Multitask > Be accessible 24/7 > Say late/come in early It's
okay to do these occasionally, but be careful. It's a slippery slope. Remember: You're 100% replaceable.
Don't let your company's wants come at the expense of your needs.

"Life is a cycle, always in motion, if good times have moved on so will times of trouble!" Indian Proverb

"I am not afraid of storms, for I have learned how to sail my ship." Louisa May Alcott

“It is the mind of man alone that is the cause of his bondage or freedom.” – Chanakya

I respect people who tell me the truth no matter how hard it is.

"Intelligence is the ability to adapt to change." -Stephen Hawking

Women are not ignoring you; they too are worried about themselves. When you go out with a foxy lady,
she will be worried about how she acts, about how you think of her.

54
If it's important to you, you'll make it work. You'll find the time, you'll get the recourses, you'll find a
way. If it's not important enough for you, you'll find reasons why you can't or excuses why you
shouldn't. It's simple. Don't lie to yourself or others.

All you have to do is look straight and see the road, and when you see it, don't sit looking at it--walk. Ayn
Rand

Luck? I've never banked on it... Luck to me is something else: hard work and realizing what is
opportunity and what isn't. Lucille Ball

12 Traits of the Highly Confident

A thread
1. An unwavering faith in oneself
You can’t have confidence without belief
In order to achieve any kind of success, you have to know you can do so internally before it can ever be
accomplished externally
2. The ability to receive every failure as a lesson
Failure is an unavoidable part of life
Most experience failure without looking closer at the lesson it has to teach, giving up as a result
The few leverage failure are the ones that make something of their lives.
3. Embracing your capacity to learn, grow, and achieve
As long as you know there is still room to learn and grow, you will have the capacity to grow and change
for the better
Confident people aren’t stagnant - they’re adaptable and ever progressing in their development
4. Patience in ones own personal process & journey
Rome wasn’t built in a day, as they say
Things take time
Developing and maintaining confidence is no different
Be patient with yourself - it’s the heart of resiliency
5. Emotional response > emotional reaction
Confident people seldom let their emotions get the better of them
They’ve learned to consciously direct their emotional energy
6. A positive and uplifting self talk
You will never build confidence if your self talk is shit
You need to become your own biggest fan and supporter if you want to stay committed and consistent
7. Practices in mental, emotional, and physical care
Every area of health is connected, and this trinity is the core
When your mind, body, and soul are all in alignment - everything goes much, much smoother
Create synergy in your life so you can fully realize your potential
8. A purpose to commit to
You need a mission
A mission keeps you sharp, and allows you an avenue to create something bigger than yourself
Nothing builds confidence like a mission that improves every area of your life
Even better if it improves the lives of others
9.Not letting anyone or anything stand in the way
You’re going to make it happen or you’re going to die trying
Let there be no in between

55
10. Progress > perfection
Done is infinitely better than perfect
Because waiting for things to be perfect means you never get anything done
11. Happy to ask for help when needed
Confidence isn’t “I don’t need help from anyone”
Confidence is knowing your short comings, and having faith in others that can help you overcome them
12. No excuses
Because excuses never helped anyone
Stop lying to yourself
Get real so you can be confident.

NEVER ask these questions in response to life’s challenges: -“Why is this happening to me?” -“How come
nothing goes right for me?” ALWAYS respond to life’s challenges w/ these questions: -“What can I learn
from this situation?” -“How will this situation make me stronger?”

The true mark of maturity is when someone hurts you and you try to understand their situation instead
of trying to hurt them back.

Wrap up the issue quickly because the more you drag it, the higher the chance of the relationship
turning sour beyond repair. Third parties take undue advantage of the situation and most of the people
laugh at you. If you make it quick, you come out better, and relationships can be mended back. If you
can work out the whole thing and roll it in a way that is fair and equitable to all, do it.

If you don't make plans for yourself because you know you won't stick to them: -You have no respect for
yourself. People who respect themselves commit to the promises they make to themselves. They don't
let themselves down. This affects the quality of your life immensely. Make a challenging plan and follow
through with it. See how incredible it feels afterwards.

An army of sheep led by a lion would defeat an army of lions led by a sheep.

Literally the FIRST step in becoming more sociable is being someone who is actually approachable in the
first place. Get in really good shape Get your style on point Keep your grooming standards high Voila -
you've now become a guy people are interested in knowing more about.

The way you walk reflects your self-confidence. Your relationships reflects your self-esteem. Your skin
reflects your nutrition and lifestyle. The depth of your thoughts reflects the quality of your life.

When someone asks your decision, decide. Don't say, "whatever you want." It weakens your image.

I'm smart enough to know that I'm dumb.

Women find gentlemen appealing because courtly behavior is a major indicator of confidence, as well as
situational and social awareness. Being selfish, rude, or shy is easy. Being dignified, calm, and gracious
takes strength. You become the standard everyone has to live up to.

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Same old Advice Doing the Rounds :

This Thread will save you Time.

1. Lift Weights
2. It's all your Fault i.e Take 100% Responsibility
3. Chase Mission, not women
4. Health- take utter care of it
5. Become Financially Literate
6. Learn how to Sell
7. Don't fall for the grass is greener syndrome
8. Acquire Mental models for excellent decision making
9. No regret Living
10. Get out of comfort zone- Challenge self
11. Never stop learning
12. Ditch shit company
13. Act out your own convictions
14. Identify & avoid bitches
15. Stop whining, bickering, complaining
16. Action above everything else
17. Ensure you have a system for work
18. Aim to always get right things done
19. Use your strengths consciously, forget 'passion'
20. Energy >Time

You're very welcome.

You stop explaining yourself when you realize people only understand from their level of perception -
Jim Carrey

57
Siegel and Payne establish 4 critical skills children need to learn:
 Balance: Managing their emotions and behavior. Fewer screaming meltdowns in the cereal aisle
of the grocery store.
 Resilience: Bouncing back after life inevitably reminds them just how not-the-center-of-the-
universe they really are.
 Insight: The ability to understand themselves. To learn lessons, not make the same mistake 65
times in a row and to apply that wisdom to other areas of life.
 Empathy: To understand the perspectives of other people, to care, and to be able to apologize
and set things right without an authority figure forcing you.

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“A stupid man’s report of what a clever man says can never be accurate, because he unconsciously
translates what he hears into something he can understand.” — Bertrand Russell

Shutting eyes to a problem, won't make it go away.

Being soft and strong is a combination very few can master..

Don’t feel like you have to take part in every conversation and every argument. Often people will draw
you into it, egging you to take sides. Don’t. Exercise restraint. Be smart enough to know when to speak
and when to remain silent. It will save you from a whole lot of trouble.

59
13 Ways To 10* Your Testosterone (Thread):

It's THE male hormone, critical for:

- Muscle mass
- Strength
- Internal drive
- Energy
- Happiness

And low T is the fastest path to:

- Depression
- Anxiety
- Stress

Here's how to get it sorted:

1) Sleep 7+ Hours Per Night

The fastest way to increasing stress, cortisol and killing your T, is to sleep like an asshole.

No excuses.

Everyone has the time.

Get it done.

Next:
2) DON'T GET FAT!

It's a biological impossibility to be high T if you've got tons of excess fat.

Estrogen goes up.

Testosterone goes down.

Next:
3) Eat Fattier Meats

Think:

- Higher fat beef

- Chicken thighs

Next:
4) Challenge Yourself Weekly

Overcoming challenges leads to:

60
- Higher confidence
- Lower anxiety
- Higher T

Think of ways to do this in your:

* Work
* Fitness
* Relationships

And get into the habit of it.

Next:
5) Alcohol = Occasional Only

A few whiskey's or glasses of wine occasionally is not a problem.

But if it's FREQUENT?

Your T levels will plummet.

Guaranteed.

Next:
6) Sugar = ZERO

Spiking your energy, calories, and inflammation is guaranteed hormonal hell.

Higher cortisol.

Lower T.

Next:
7) Eat More Fish

- Salmon
- Tuna
- Mackerel
- Prawns
- Mussels
- Sardines

Are all great sources of omega 3's and essential fats - the 'building blocks' of testosterone.

Next:
8) Eat More Eggs

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And no, cholesterol isn't a concern, especially if you're already lean.

Next:
9) Get More Vitamin D

Most people in the northern hemipshere (myself included) are a risk of deficiency here.

You'll need anywhere from 2000-5000 IU's, depending on your location.

Next:
10) Train 3+ Times Per Week

Lifting OR fighting OR a combination.

Both will raise testosterone and make you feel MILES better afterwards.

Next:
11) Avoid Spending Too Much Time Sat Still

Or as I like to call it;

Sedentarianism.

It's not how we were designed, and living this lifestyle isn't exactly good for your hormonal health, for a
variety of reasons.

Next:
12) Spend Plenty Of Time With Attractive Females

It's a scientific fact - testosterone goes up by 13% even by flirting with attractive women.

Next:
13) Get 400mg Magnesium Citrate

The studies on this are looking pretty solid for recovery and sleep quality.

Your best bet is to take it 30 mins before bed.

“Generosity is to help a deserving person without his request, and if you help him after his request, then
it is either out of self-respect or to avoid rebuke.” Imam Ali

Read slowly. Take your time to reflect. Speed reading is nonsense. Don't make it a race to the last page.
Retention and understanding is everything.

Life is not about perfection, it’s about experiencing the best of life while maintaining & expanding the
best of self.

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Who you are shapes what you do, but what you do also shapes who you are. The more you can align
your actions with your core values and internal self the better—performance, longevity, fulfillment. So
key on the path of mastery. Requires solitude. Courage. Focus. Self-compassion.

You cannot always expect to be rewarded for your good deeds, but you should always expect to pay for
your mistakes. This may not be fair, but it is simply the way of the world.

What creates and sustains truly great relationships (like great marriages and great partnerships) is the
unwavering belief that nothing is more important than the relationship.

According to Aurelius, otherwise known as “The Philosopher” or “The Wise”, it all comes down to our
perception, or how we choose to perceive the things that do or do not happen to us:
We must begin by (1) not blaming external factors for our unhappiness:
“External things are not the problem. It’s your assessment of them. Which you can erase right now. If
the problem is something in your own character, who’s stopping you from setting your mind straight?
And if it’s that you’re not doing something you think you should be, why not just do it? – But there are
insuperable obstacles. Then it’s not a problem. The cause of your inaction lies outside you. – But how
can I go on living with that undone? Then depart, with a good conscious, as if you’d done it, embracing
the obstacles too.”
(2) Not allowing others to negatively affect us:
“Discard your misperceptions. Stop being jerked like a puppet. Limit yourself to the present. Understand
what happens – to you, to others. Analyze what exists, break it all down: material and cause. Anticipate
your final hours. Other people’s mistakes? Leave them to their makers.”
And (3) taking control of how we perceive things:
“It’s all in how you perceive it. You’re in control. You can dispense with misperception at will, like
rounding the point. Serenity, total calm, safe anchorage.”
Here’s what we should tell ourselves:
“Let it happen, if it wants, to whatever it can happen to. And what’s affected can complain about it if it
wants. It doesn’t hurt me unless I interpret its happening as harmful to me. I can choose not to.”
In different words:
“Choose not to be harmed – and you won’t feel harmed. Don’t feel harmed – and you haven’t been.”
This applies to every circumstance:
“Everywhere, at each moment, you have the option:
-to accept this event with humility
-to treat this person as he should be treated
-to approach this thought with care, so that nothing irrational creeps in.”
Ultimately, it comes down to (1) accepting instead of resisting:
“Why is it so hard when things go against you? If it’s imposed by nature, accept it gladly and stop
fighting it. And if not, work out what your own nature requires, and aim at that, even if it brings you no
glory. None of us is forbidden to pursue our own good.”
(2) Redirecting our mind:
“Don’t let your imagination be crushed by life as a whole. Don’t try to picture everything bad that could
possibly happen. Stick with the situation at hand, and ask, ‘Why is this so unbearable? Why can’t I
endure it?’ You’ll be embarrassed to answer.”
(3) Focusing on the present moment:

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“Then remind yourself that past and future have no power over you. Only the present – and even that
can be minimized. Just mark off its limits. And if your mind tries to claim that it can’t hold out
against that…well, then, heap shame upon it.”
And (4) exercising the agency we have
“To live a good life: We have the potential for it. If we can learn to be indifferent to what makes no
difference. This is how we learn: by looking at each thing, both the parts and the whole. Keeping in mind
that none of them can dictate how we perceive it. They don’t impose themselves on us. They hover
before us, unmoving. It is we who generate the judgments – inscribing them on ourselves. And we don’t
have to. We could leave the page blank – and if a mark slips through, erase it instantly.

Remember how brief is the attentiveness required. And then our lives will end.”
Because mastering the mind is vital to living well:
“If you can cut yourself – your mind – free of what other people do and say, of what you’ve said or done,
of the things that you’re afraid will happen, the impositions of the body that contains you and the
breath within, and what the whirling chaos sweeps in from outside, so that the mind is freed from fate,
brought to clarity, and lives life on its own recognizance – doing what’s right, accepting what happens,
and speaking the truth –

If you can cut free of impressions that cling to the mind, free of the future and the past – can make
yourself, as Empedocles says, ‘a sphere rejoicing in its perfect stillness,’ and concentrate on living what
can be lived (which means the present)…then you can spend the time you have left in tranquility. And in
kindness. And at peace with the spirit within you.”
In conclusion:
“Your ability to control your thoughts – treat it with respect. It’s all that protects your mind from false
perceptions – false to your nature, and that of all rational beings. It’s what makes thoughtfulness
possible, and affection for other people, and submission to the divine.”

If you cannot control your emotions, intelligence is worthless, even dangerous.

When solving problems, dig at the roots instead of just hacking at the leaves. ~Anthony J. D'Angelo, The
College Blue Book

1. Whether you like it or not. 2. Whether you're prepared or not. 3. Whether you expect it or not. 4.
Whether you accept it or not. You will have to Face the Consequences of your own Decisions. Never
Regret making stupid Decisions. Learn now

See reality as it is, not as you want it to be.

They all say “Be with someone who makes you happy.” I say “Work to create happiness within yourself
and then be with others who can add to that happiness.”

Relationships should decrease the amount of stress you have. If they don't, they aren't good
relationships. Fix them or get rid of them.

If a woman has substance, pay attention to her; if she has the integrity to go with it - marry her. Truly, it
is rare will you find both in the same woman, and they are impossible if not incredibly difficult to fake.

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The secret is there is no secret. The secret is to stop paying attention to anyone who says they have a
secret. If you want to get stronger: lift heavy things; rest; repeat. If you want to get faster: run; rest;
repeat. If you want to write: write; rest; repeat.

The following athletes hit the weights at the gym: - Chess players - E sports players - Formula one racers
- Motorbike racers People who you think use their mind over their body at an elite performance all lift
weights. Go to the gym.

The reason you don't have energy to workout is because you don't workout.

The secret to being likable is to not care if people like you.

If you do it, you get critics. If you don't, you get ridiculed. If you succeed, you get hate. If you fail, you get
mocked. No matter what, people are gonna talk. You may as well put yourself in a position to benefit.

I'm grateful for all my problems. After each one was overcome, I became stronger.... I grew in all my
difficulties.

"Accept the challenges so that you may feel the exhilaration of victory." -General George S. Patton

When you are angry, be silent.

“If you’re on the defense in jiu jitsu and you stay on defense you will lose. Eventually you will get
caught.” Jocko Willink Life lesson there.

The mastery mindset leads to continual improvement, development. -Drive from within. -Focus on the
process. -Be best at getting better. -Embrace acute failure for chronic gain. -Be present. -Be patient.

The weak seek revenge. The strong forgive. The intelligent ignore.

Clarity in your vision. Decisiveness in your actions. Discipline against your distractions. That's the
winning combination for success.

“Do you want to win?” Then control your emotions.” - Jocko Willink

Remember that just because other people agree or disagree with you doesn't make you right or wrong -
the only thing that matters is the correctness of your analysis and judgement.

Don’t fix your problems Fix your thinking. Then Problems fix themselves.

Writing helps assimilate better & improve faster.

Humans are social animals that subconsciously evaluate each other in status hierarchies. Just like all
other apes, we need to know where we stand relative to one another. However, because this isn’t easy
to do in the modern world, we use things like money, fame, and looks as proxies for status.
Unfortunately, monetary success can be largely a result of pure, dumb luck. In this instance, I’m quite
confident that Steve was lucky because, frankly, he wasn’t that good of an employee at our prior

65
company. While I would place John in the top 5% of all people I have ever worked with, I would place
Steve in the bottom third. Yet, one of them is a millionaire and the other isn’t.
Of course it is possible that Steve got better with time or that they just needed a different role, but I am
skeptical. I am skeptical because even if he did get better, there is no way that he got 10x better than
my friend John, yet he earned 10x the rewards!
This is why you have to consider how much luck influenced someone’s life before you compare yourself
to them. Yes, I have heard that “you should never compare yourself to anyone else,” but that advice is
hard to follow. As I alluded to before, we just can’t help ourselves from performing social comparisons.
If we could, then companies like Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter wouldn’t exist in their current form.
The solution to this problem isn’t to “only compare yourself to your former self” either. While this
seems like good advice initially, it can be mentally harmful in the long run. For example, consider
someone who evaluates themselves based on their strength, beauty, or mental faculties. How will these
people feel when these attributes naturally decline with age? Unless they find another way to evaluate
themselves, it won’t be pretty.
This leaves you with a problem. If you can’t compare yourself to others and you can’t compare yourself
to your former self, what should you do? You should compare yourself to where you would expect to
be in the “average” state of the world.
For example, if we could re-run the universe 10,000 times while controlling for your genetics and
general upbringing, in how many of these universes would you be better off than you are now? In how
many would you be worse off? Have you had more than your fair share of luck? Or did you have to
struggle more than you would expect?
In the scientific community the Greek letter delta is commonly used to denote change. The question
you have to ask yourself is:
What’s your delta?
Is it positive or is it negative? A positive delta means that you are better off than you would expect in
the “average” state of the world, while a negative delta implies that you are worse off. I ask this
question because this is the only way I know of performing social comparisons while also trying to
control for chance.
For example, if you were born into a farming community in India or China, it wouldn’t make sense to
compare yourself to Bill Gates who was born to an upper middle class family in the wealthiest country
on Earth. However, comparing yourself to others in your farming community would be useful for
understanding your expected life outcome.
You have to control for these starting conditions because, as I have demonstrated before, your starting
state has huge implications for where you end up later in life. Of course, controlling for initial conditions
isn’t easy to do. It’s hard to imagine how else your life could have turned out, but this doesn’t mean you
shouldn’t try.
For example, what if we could re-run Warren Buffett’s life 10,000 times? Would he be a billionaire in all
of them? Absolutely not. However, Warren Buffett would be at least a multi-millionaire in many of
these alternate realities. Growing up in twentieth century America with his IQ, personality, and family
upbringing would almost guarantee it. The Warren Buffett we know got lucky, but that doesn’t take
away from his genuine talent and efforts. As I like to think about it:
Almost all millionaires are hard-working, but every billionaire is lucky.
This is why using “delta” is a better evaluation tool than directly comparing yourself to other
people. Because some of those other people are lottery winners, except, in their lottery, they never had
to buy a ticket…
We all have a story we tell ourselves about ourselves. You have one. I have one. And this story is what
we use to judge our successes and our failures. But it’s not the only story that could have been written,
it’s just the one that was written. If your story has more blessings than hardships, consider lending a

66
hand to someone who wasn’t as fortunate. The power of having a positive delta is being able to uplift
those currently experiencing a negative delta.
And if you are one of those people who believes they have a negative delta, there is still time to change
that. Allison Schrager explained this well in An Economist Walks Into a Brothel when she described how
Phil Hellmuth, a famous poker player, deals with periods of bad luck:
Hellmuth practices what behavioralists call broad framing: He never feels pressured to play a hand or
fold, even if he’s down, because he reminds himself it’s just one hand out of many.
Hellmuth understands that even when he is down, there is still time to improve things. That’s the
beauty of life. Most of us get more days. Most of us get more chances to improve ourselves and the
world around us. This is just one hand out of many.

There is an Indian poverb that says, everyone is a house with four rooms, a physical, mental, emotional
and spiritual. Most of us tend to live in one room most of the time, but unless we go into every room
everyday, we are not a complete person.

I am impressed when I meet smart people. But what I admire most is kindness, humility, optimism,
generosity and shared knowledge. Be this person.

Some people think of themselves as so high and mighty because they are more educated, more
“successful” in their careers, or they have more money than the average person. But they are wrong.
Success is not measured by your material wealth – Success is measured by your character.
How you treat people speaks volumes about your character. It can be boiled down to respect.

How the hell you don't complain about each other? How can you guys work together? Do you guys ever
fight? These are the kind of questions we get asked a lot of times. For us, relationship is a place where
we give & accept and not look at ways to customise each other basis our requirements ! Today as we
complete 4 years of being married & 5 years of togetherness, when i look back the memory lane I know
what all we have gone through together. But there has been 1 thing that has always been consistent,
"We strive to make each other a better person by the day." We speak our mind, we never leave it for
later. We never get our biased perceptions in the way when listening We let each other know which
behaviour we do not like and then allow time to introspect and leave the decision as we know and
respect that "We both are adults" As much we are couples we are individuals too ! it is sheer respect
towards each other that enables us to be so giving to our relationship.

Je vous réponde par une citation de B Werber. "Entre ce que je pense, ce que je veux dire, ce que je
crois dire, ce que je dis, ce que vous avez envie d'entendre, ce que vous croyez entendre, ce que vous
entendez, ce que vous avez envie de comprendre, ce que vous croyez comprendre, ce que vous
comprenez, il y a dix possibilités qu'on ait des difficultés à communiquer. Mais essayons quand même..."
Donc moralité.... : Il faut juste relativiser!!!

What’s important is where you are now, and where you are going and not where you were.

How to spot trash people Rude to the elderly Doesn’t rerack weights Treats foreigners poorly Treat
waiters/waitresses bad Doesn’t put shopping cart back Can’t disagree without disrespect Exposes
peoples personal matters Leaves their trash for others to clean

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If it’s not right, don’t do it. If it’s not true, don’t say it.

"Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they are supposed to help you discover who you
are." -Bernice Johnson Reagon

Weakness is revealed in tantrum. Strength is revealed in restraint.

Corporates all over the world, large and small, are big on teaching “leadership skills”. Team building,
management offsites, the “Executive MBA”, there’s a whole host of methods aimed at imparting the art
of “leadership” amongst grey-suited middle management.
The “motivational speaker” is a favoured technique. Bring in some captain of industry, or “human
resources” psychologist, or media personality, to speak at your company offsite. It breaks up the
monotony and is sometimes even entertaining. But does it impart any relevant knowledge?
A common speaker-type is the former military man (and for some reason it is always a man). Perhaps an
ex-general, saying a few words on how they approached leadership and team-building when on active
service.
Except that there is actually very little in common between leading a platoon of infantrymen and
running an office. Really, very little. In the Army it is, literally, life and death. If one gets it wrong, or the
team doesn’t work together, there is a very good chance that people will die. Furthermore, it is unlikely
that individual members of the team can benefit whilst others suffer. In a battle, one wins or loses
together. So the art of leadership is a function of different motives and aspirations when serving in the
armed forces. First, it is imperative that the team be well led, and respond as one. And second, the
entire team really does have one common, and shared, objective.
These do not apply in the corporate environment. Here bureaucracy, process and “office politics” reflect
the fact that first, no-one’s life is on the line and second, that it is possible for the company, or the team,
to not achieve its goals and yet for certain individuals still to benefit. In investment banking it is possible
to receive a bonus even when the bank or desk has lost money. We all know people who have been
promoted at the same time that customer complaints have risen. Individuals have gone on to senior
positions even as the teams they ran just prior to that delivered precisely nothing.
These are common occurrences in the corporate world. Platitudes abound, everyone “puts the customer
first” or says “our people are our greatest asset”, but these are as accurate of reality as the idea that any
UK citizen can become Prime Minister.
There is a more relevant way to teach leadership. Recently I had the privilege to play in a charity match
with the management team at AFC Wimbledon, a club in the 4th division of English professional football.
The club manager is Neal Ardley and his assistant is Neil Cox, both ex-Premiership footballers. My time
on the pitch was limited to 30 minutes in each half. But I learnt more in those 60 minutes alongside
those two gentlemen than I ever did in countless hours of courses, management off-sites, symposiums,
MBA executive leadership programmes and management theory lectures during the last 25 years
working in the City.
So here is my cut-out-and-keep 8-point guide to leadership – it should be required reading for everyone
in a suit aspiring to lead teams. They transfer easily to the corporate environment, and they are much
cheaper to acquire than an MBA:
1) Treat everyone as equals in the way one speaks to them and communicates instructions.
I noticed that Neil Cox didn’t vary the manner in which he spoke to individuals in the team, whatever
their ability or familiarity or position. He delivered instructions in exactly the same way to everyone. This
builds tremendous loyalty and confidence.
2) Lead by example.

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This is nothing new. We’ve all heard this one. The difference was that Messrs Ardley and Cox really did
do it. They put in the effort and, what’s more, it was obvious that they were putting in the effort. We
could all see it. This has a tremendous inspirational effect on team members.
3) Provide continuous encouragement.
Everyone likes to feel appreciated, both when things are going well and when they are going badly.
Ardley and Cox delivered encouragement at every possible opportunity, for both minor and major
pieces of work. It makes a big difference and would translate well in a corporate environment.
4) Do not dwell on mistakes, and do not apportion blame.
When a player made a mistake, it wasn’t pointed out because the individual concerned was aware he
had made it, and it wasn’t dwelt on. That’s happened, okay let’s move on and try again. This is
tremendously inspiring and makes everyone try harder.
5) Make everyone feel part of the same team. No cliques, no favourites, no inner circles.
Whatever the reality of the situation, it is enough that everyone feels that they are part of the same
team and that no-one is more favoured than anyone else. Again, this is a platitude espoused by every
office manager, it’s just that in 9 out of 10 company offices it isn’t true.
6) Involve everyone, and keep involving them.
This follows on from (5), but one way to inspire people to want to follow you is by involving them and,
by so doing, make them feel that you trust them to do a good job. The modern office equivalent of this
is “don’t micromanage, and learn to delegate”. Again, we’ve heard this often enough but the difference
between most corporate managers and the Wimbledon management was that the latter really did do
this.
7) Trust your subordinates’ judgement.
It will make them want to do well and inspire them even more. This is a natural trait of AFC Wimbledon’s
management style.
8) Act so everyone is aware they have the same objective.
This is the easy bit in a football team. There are no individual winners amongst the 11 players if the team
loses. But by applying rules 1-7 above, Neal Ardley and Neil Cox at least cover off the essential part of
team management first. After that, it’s up to the players…
People define “leadership” in different ways. But really it boils down to inspiring people to want to
follow you. As long as they pay a salary to attract staff, corporate management won’t ever truly be
tested on this. But here is an easy way to test it: take a poll amongst your team to determine who would
follow you to your next job for a cut in pay. If the answer is zero, then you aren’t a leader.

Brian Herbert famously said “The capacity to learn is a Gift, the ability to learn is a skill, the willingness to
learn is a choice”.

On very good authority it is said, “There is always enough light for one who wishes to see”

How can you make good judgments? Learn as much as you can. Don't say things you don't mean. Don't
write nonsense. Do not pass yourself off as something you are not. Try to fix what you can fix and don't
meddle with what you don't understand. Practice this diligently for five years and like "magic", you will
make good judgments.

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At the core of every human being is a moral compass. A combination of nature (genes and brain wiring)
and nurture (upbringing and life experiences) shapes this internal moral compass - and leads to gradual
evolution of our core values. This moral compass determines our deepest motivations and manifests
itself in our external behaviors.

1. Outward driven Moral compass- Individuals who have a 100% outward-looking moral compass
tend to have external attributes - money, perks, status, job titles, materialistic attributes, acceptance
from others - as their sole source of motivation.
2. Inward driven moral compass - Inward looking individuals have a deep internal purpose that
inspires them – they use external attributes merely to meet this purpose.

Almost no human sits at either extremes. We all exhibit a mix of inward (altruistic) and outward
(demonic) traits. If all of us - including you, me and Carlos Ghosn – have both traits in
some combination, what decides which trait - our altruistic side or the demonic one - wins and finally
translates to our behavior and actions ? That’s where external factors in our environment come into
play. The environment (culture, society, social mores, policies) plays a powerful catalyzing role in
bringing out inward or outward tendencies.

You remember that little bug that we decided to ignore a few months back? 'Ya.' Well, that bug had
compounded over time & turned into a freaking monster. That was the reason our system almost
collapsed.... The butterfly effect gives you the concepts that a flap of a butterfly wings can add up,
compound exponentially & lead to a tornado on the other side of the world. This is non linear thinking.
We often ignore the little things. But it is the little things which lead to the big things. I was going to not
write the email today because I had to leave town. But I was like.. nah... it's a little thing. With a big
result. Remember the butterfly effect when you sleep on little things. Whether you believe it or not, you
have to see the effects. Machines & humans have certain similarities. It's like if we can learn how a
machine functions or destructs, we can learn a little bit about ourselves in the process. That day of
covering up the small bug led to a p1 (A p1 is when our system is in a critical state.). That's when the
concept of the butterfly effect became crystallized. Now ask yourself, has a small thing ever lead to a big
thing in YOUR life? Answer the question. You'll be surprised by the responses.

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