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  • Challenge Extreme Terms

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    Abdullah Asghar
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    When communicating with someone who speaks in extremes, acknowledge their perspective but present your view using less absolute terms like "often" instead of "always". Seek to understand their view without directly refuting it using words like "but", which signals disagreement. Take responsibility for your actions by apologizing without justification.

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    When communicating with someone who speaks in extremes, acknowledge their perspective but present your view using less absolute terms like "often" instead of "always". Seek to understand their view without directly refuting it using words like "but", which signals disagreement. Take responsibility for your actions by apologizing without justification.

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    3 views1 page

    Challenge Extreme Terms

    Uploaded by

    Abdullah Asghar
    When communicating with someone who speaks in extremes, acknowledge their perspective but present your view using less absolute terms like "often" instead of "always". Seek to understand their view without directly refuting it using words like "but", which signals disagreement. Take responsibility for your actions by apologizing without justification.

    Copyright:

    © All Rights Reserved
    Download as RTF, PDF, TXT or read online from Scribd
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    Challenge extreme terms

    Often, when people are being difficult, they speak in


    extreme terms that match their worldviews.
    So, if the other person says, ‘I always have to’ or ‘You
    never…’, acknowledge their view, but then present your
    perspective. ‘I know you think I never… but actually, I
    often…’ or, ‘I understand that it seems like it’s always you,
    and yet…’
    See if you can avoid linking sentences with the word ‘but’.
    When the other person hears ‘but’, they know you are
    going to refute their view. Try to avoid the word altogether
    or, when it’s appropriate, use the word ‘and’ rather than
    ‘but’. For example, ‘I know you feel angry and I’m feeling
    upset.’ Sounds so much less defensive than ‘I know you’re
    angry but I’m feeling upset.’
    Another example of this is if you apologize for something:
    ‘I’m sorry I raised my voice, but I couldn’t help it.’ The ‘but’
    disqualifies the apology. Take responsibility for shouting.

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