Laura Brewer

Professor Dean Leonard

English 1201

19 November 2019

Learning to Let Go

When my first daughter was born, I was given an Anne Geddes picture that said, “To be

a mother is to watch your heart walk around outside your body.” It had a picture of a stork

delivering a baby. At that time, with my first newborn baby, I had only begun to have an idea of

just how true this was, and always will be. I've thought about that picture so many times since

then. Although I don’t even know where that picture is now, I do know that my life completely

turned right side up the day I laid eyes on my first daughter. I couldn’t even fathom just how

much intense love, sacrifice, joy, amusement, excitement, pride, pain, worry, and complete

exhaustion and uncertainty being a mother would be. It’s the most awesome and terrifying thing

I have ever taken on. Just when I thought I couldn't possibly love anything as much as my first

daughter, I had my second daughter and realized, it was just doubled. Challenges and joy

continue as both of my daughters are now 18 and 20. The time has flown by all too quickly and it

is so difficult for me to fathom that they are no longer my little girls. This phase is the hardest

one yet - for me. I know that I have probably protected, sheltered, and coddled them too much,

that it is a wonder they are functioning so well as young adults. While they still bring me so

much joy, it all seems unnatural (and painful) for me to just stop trying to help them all I

possibly can. Yet, I must somehow learn to let go and let them grow. Some things they are

personally dealing with now as young adults are far beyond my ability to help and as heart

wrenching as that may be, I know I have to learn to accept this.

 I wish every parent with a young child could only see just how fast they grow. Those long,

sleepless nights and temper tantrums all too quickly become a distant faded memory. It’s strange

how we cherish so many precious moments, while they have no recollection of it.

This probably sounds crazy, but if it was in my power, I would go back and give birth to them

and raise them a few times over to learn more from my mistakes each time and help prepare

them better for the challenges ahead.

It may seem that I am a depressed middle-aged woman, but that's not it. I am merely

adjusting to the “new norms” of learning to let go and dealing the growing pains that come with

this unexplored territory. I don’t think they will ever understand just how deep I love and cherish

them. They have made my life worth living by just getting to love them and watch them grow

into the precious young women they are becoming.