Bu~

5; mp{e ways f a video camera had followed you over the

last seve n days, what wo uld it reveal about
io recloir« your life? Would it show you we re fruitful
and joyful? Overloaded and stressed out? It
your SChedu{e
might disclose that you are too busy for your
own good-and it's time to do .something
about it. You 're too busy if .. ,
• You feel as though • You are regularly late,
you are constantly trying to • You don 't have time
catch up at work or home, to eat three healthy meals a
• There's rarely a break day , much less one with
in your schedule, your family.

16 Foc us o n th e Famil y

BUSYbY VaW~BUwn
• You don 't exe rcise.
• Your mail is piled up
beca use you haven 't had time
to open it.
• Your to-do list is rarely
checked off.
What free time?
Perhaps some of these
situations describe you. If so,
you are not alone. I surveyed
more than 300 people about
their busy schedules. Seventy
percent of the parents said
they don 't spend enough time
"The reo..((y id(e m~n ~efs nowhere.
The perpefu~((y busy m~n
does nof ~ef much fUrfher. "
with their child ren; 80 per-
ce nt of those wh o are married
said they don 't spend enough
time with their spouse. Busy-
ness affects your friendships,
too-55 percent haven 't had a
friend over to their home in
more than two month s. And
forget abo ut vacation; nearly
60 percent haven't had a
seven-day vacation in more
than a year.
You can blame busyness
on our fast-paced culture,
demanding job s and technol-
f OCU5 0 n t hef a mll y. c o m
- Sir Heneage Ogilvie
ogy that consumes time, but
the truth is that busyness
wo n't stop until you decide
to slow down and reconnect
with the people and things
that matter most. Some choices
are simp le o nes : makin g
dinnertime a non-n egotiable
ritual in yo ur hom e o r tam-
ing your to-d o list. Othe r
choices are tou gh er : moving
to a less ex pe nsive area
so yo u ca n afford a less
demanding job , for exa mple.
What co uld yo u do diffe r-
ently to slow down?
Taming my schedule
O ne morning several
yea rs ago , I recall thinking
about how to ge t un stu ck
from my rut, My life was
ove rloaded , yet there was
always something more to
do. I wanted a bit of divine
inspiration to help me.
I prayed , then listened
for God to say something like,
"Valorie, don 't wo rry. You 're
doing all the right things. Just
be patient. Less stressful days
are ahead ." Confide nt that I
was indeed doing "all the
right things," wh at othe r mes-
sage could there possibly be
for me? I listen ed for an
answer, and the one I got was
not wh at I wanted to hear.
One simple word kept com-
ing to me: discipline. - '
I A ug us t 2008 17
 Admittedly, my schedule
was unrul y. I managed to get
a lot don e, but with very little
structure in my life, I was feel-
ing scattered and ineffective.
While I was not excited about
embracing more discipline, I
knew I needed a change . The
key to discipline was aligning
my da ily actions with my pri-
orities.
Five simple rules
Here are five simple ways
I learned to be disciplined
and intentional abo ut reclaim-
ing my schedule. Incorp orate
them into your life to put an
end to unn ecessary busyness.
I. Learn to say no. No
will empo wer you to bring
your schedule und er control.
You have the right and the
respo nsibility to decline activ-
ities that do not fit into your
schedule or reflect your pe r-
so nal goa ls. What activities do
you need to let go?
2. Promise little, if
anything at all! You may be
tempted to tell people you'll
do little things, but when life
becom e hectic, it's far too
easy to forget what you've
promised . You 'll have more
integrity and less stress if you
und erp romise and ove rde-
liver. Rather than saying you'll
get something do ne tomor-
row , say "by the end of the
week." Then w hen you finish
tomorrow , the other person
is de lighted and you 've elim-
inated the stress of trying
to meet an ambitious, self-
im posed deadline.
3. Set boundaries on
your time. To keep your pri-
18 Foc us on t h e Family
Ten Commandments
for Beating Busyness
Tho u shalt. . .
1. Connect heart-to-h eart with your family each week.
2. Let the Holy Spirit lead you.
3. Be fruitful and produ ctive, not busy.
4. Take rest seriously.
5. Use all your vacation time every year.
6. Commit your time off solely to nonwork activities.
7. Have fun at least once a week.
8. Eat regularly, preferably sitting do wn.
9. Exercise regularly.
10. Use techn ology to gain time, not consume it.
onnes, you must guard the nate then spe nd more time
time you set aside for them . than necessary on some activ-
Have "no techn ology" periods ities is their obsessio n with
in which you turn off cell perfection . Live your God-
phones, 1V and computers. given purpose with excel-
Protect time with your family lence, but resist the temptation
and friends . And if you're to chase the elusive goa l of
falling behin d, block out a pe rfection.
day or a few hours to stop
and catch up .
. ..
4. Don't feel pres- Too often, people live by
sured to respond imme- accide nt, following whatever
diately. Whe n someone o ppo rtunities or requ ests
makes a req ues t, do n't feel cross thei r path . Without
compelled to give him or clea rly defined pr iorities, it's
her an answe r o n the spo t. hard to discern which choices
"Let me think abo ut that are best and which are best
and get back to yo u" or "I'll left alone. Spe nd your time in
let yo u know tom or row [or a way that is meaningful for
next week , ere.I" will suffice. you and your family. •
Especi ally if you' re a people
pleaser, it is critical that you Valorie Burton is a certified life
don 't answer yes on the coacb, co nfe rence speaker and
spot. You will often end up author of several books, includ-
regretting your co mmitme nt ing Wh at's Really Hol di ng You
later. Back ? and Listen to Your Life.
5. Give yourself per- Request a copy o/ Listen to Your
mission to complete tasks Life from Focus 0 11 tbe Family.
imperfectly. One of the big- (Item code POO13 7B. Suggested
gest reason s people proc rasti- donation $14 )