It is argued by a group of people that single-sex education should be promoted is better,

whilst others think that the co-educational system provides a myriad of benefits. This
essay agrees that a mixed-gender education system is far better. This essay will
discuss both the views along with my opinion.

You have paraphrased the question quite well and your opinion is clear, but you should
briefly outline your main points.

On the one hand, a few some people suggest that educating boys and girls separately
is much better, because some cultures around the world do not allow their females to be
seen by an unfamiliar male as it is strictly prohibited according to their culture.
Moreover, they consider this action as a causes great offense and sometimes this
offense leads to tribal conflicts. A survey conducted by the University of Kabul revealed
that 95% of the schools in Afghanistan are single-sex, due to their cultural values and
customs.

Well done. You have a clear main idea and you have explained it well in relation to the
question. You have also supported your main idea with a specific example. However,
you have not made your opinion clear, which is an essential part of the question.

On the other hand, some community members have a firm belief in educating boys and
girls in a combined facility and think that in this way, their children can build and boost
their confidence by interacting with other children of a different gender. Furthermore, it
also aids helps in their practical life when they become adults, because they might be
employed in an organization where both genders are equally accommodated. A r
Recent research in Colombia concluded that more students who were taught in mixed
schools are now pursuing their preferred careers as compared to their counterparts who
went to single-sex schools.

Again, this is a well-developed paragraph, but you must make your opinion clear in each
paragraph. See the sample answer below for ideas.
In conclusion, some people favor the argument of educating male and female pupils
apart, while others support a co-educational setting. However, in my opinion teaching
both boys and girls together will be more beneficial.

Your opinion is clear, but you have not summarised your main ideas. It is important that
you take the main ideas from the main body paragraphs and summarise them in the
conclusion.

Task Response- Band 6

You have sufficiently addressed all parts of the task. You present a well-developed
response to the question with relevant, extended and supported ideas.

However, you have not made your position very clear throughout the essay.

Suggestion- This is a strong answer.

Your ideas are really well developed.

I am particularly impressed with how specific your ideas are, especially your examples.
Keep doing this and you will be fine.

However, in this type of question, you must provide a clear opinion in the main body
paragraphs as well as in the introduction and conclusion. See my sample below for how
to do this.

Coherence and Cohesion- Band 6

You logically organise information and ideas and there is clear progression throughout. I
especially like the way you have organised your ideas in the paragraphs with one main
idea in one paragraph and the other main idea in the other paragraph.

Your introduction and conclusion are not effective.

Suggestions- Keep using the paragraph structure you are using now and you will be
fine.

Your coherence would benefit if you made your opinion clear in the introduction and
outlined your main ideas. This makes it much easier for the reader to follow your
argument and keeps your mind focused on supporting your opinion. Your score would
also improve if you made your opinion clear in the conclusion and summarised your
main ideas.

Vocabulary- Band 7

You’ve really shown your vocabulary ability to get this score. You are well able to
explain your ideas and you leave no strain on the reader to understand exactly what
you’re communicating. If you can write an essay with this range and accuracy for the
real test, then you’ll be able to get this score for vocabulary.

If you need to get a band 8 for vocabulary, then you’ll need to be able to use words that
are less common but also use them with a high level of accuracy.

Suggestions- Even if you don’t need a band 8 for vocabulary, it will be beneficial for
you to continue to expand your range of vocabulary and your awareness of collocations
and style for each word. This is all very important as you will need to be able to write
essays at this level or higher for any topic that could come up on the day of the test.

Remember not to just read about the same topic in the newspapers every day as this
will not prepare you as well as looking at the various sections that most newspapers
have such as business, science and technology, entertainment and health. The more
topics that you can discuss with language specific to that topic, the better chance you
have of getting the score you need.

Grammar- Band 7

You have not only used a range of grammatical structures but you have made mistakes
in less than half of your sentences. This is a great achievement, but if you intend getting
a band 8 for grammar in the real test then you will need to continue reviewing and
improving your knowledge of grammar in the English language.

Suggestions- The first thing I’d suggest that you do is to go through each and every
error and determine if you made the error because you don’t know the grammar point or
because you just made a mistake. If the error is due to a gap in your knowledge then
you should go back and study this area before writing any more essays. You should
continue to review and practise until you’re completely confident that you’ve mastered it.
If the error was something about a grammar point that you already know and you
understand why it’s wrong then next time you write an essay you must make sure to
check for this error type after you’ve finished writing.
Overall- Band 6.5

Overall, this was a good essay, but you could improve it in the following ways:

•Outline your main ideas in the introduction.

•Summarise your main ideas in the conclusion and reiterate your opinion.

•Reduce the number of grammar mistakes you are making by reading each sentence
immediately after you write it to check that it makes sense.

•Proofread your whole essay at the end.

•Plan your answers for 5-10 minutes before writing.

Suggested Resources

Introduction- <http://ieltsadvantage.com/2015/03/05/how-to-write-introduction-
ielts-writing-task-2/>

Conclusion- <http://ieltsadvantage.com/2015/06/14/ielts-writing-conclusions/>

Discuss both views- <http://ieltsadvantage.com/2015/03/18/writing-task-2-

discussion-essay-lesson/>

Grammar- <http://ieltsadvantage.com/2015/04/20/ielts-grammar-mistakes/>

Vocabulary- <http://ieltsadvantage.com/vocabulary/>

I would recommend that you consider getting further help with your writing. If you do
not, you could fail the test multiple times, costing you money and time.

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Sample Answer

It is often argued that school children should go to single-sex schools, while others
would say that males and females get the most out of integrated schools. This essay
will argue that despite there being some social benefits to girls and boys going to the
same school, the academic advantages of educating them separately make it more
worthwhile.

Many feel that mixing both sexes at school helps to develop social skills and makes
people less awkward around the opposite sex later in life. This is especially true for
males, who often find it difficult to approach and talk to women socially if they don’t get
used to it first in the classroom. For example, the Sunday Times recently reported that
males who did not have regular contact with girls when they were growing up are 68%
more likely to suffer from anxiety when in the company of females. However, this essay
does not agree because of the academic advantages offered by single-sex schools.

Despite the argument above, it is difficult to argue with the fact that single-sex schools
consistently top examination league tables. In nearly every area of the United Kingdom,
the top schools only allow boys or girls to attend and this leads to higher grades
because students can focus exclusively on their studies. Personally, I went to a school
for both boys and girls and found that I had to deal with many more distractions
compared to friends who attended the local boys-only college.

In conclusion, integrating the sexes can prevent social awkwardness later in life and
make pupils more sociable in the company of other genders, but a school’s primary
purpose is to educate, and those with just one sex or the other outperform those that
allow both.