PAPER 3 - ARGUMENT

Letter 1

Dear Andrea Lopez,

For the title of your article I believe you could use something to draw in your
audience. Instead of “Paper 3- Argument”, you should use something that introduces the
topic, and your viewpoint of the topic. You bring the reader in by introducing both sides of
the argument and what those sides believe. As well as how hunting has changed overtime and
I think that is a strong point in your essay, but I think you need to share your opinion on
hunting earlier and try to tie it in with your statements of hunting earlier in your essay. I think
your introduction needs to focus on the overall topic of hunting more rather than just one
side, and you need to introduce your thesis so that will allow the rest of your paper to develop
and make better sense to the audience.

The structure of your argument is good, I like how it moves from one point to the
next, but while reading the essay, it seems like more of an informative essay at the start rather
than an argumentative essay. Your introduce everything very well, but I believe you need to
focus on your side of the argument more than the overall topic. It seems like you did good
research over the topic with what you’re writing, it would be helpful for the reader if you
used in-text citations throughout your paper wherever you used any sort of source. This
would also make the essay stronger since you have evidence that a reader can rely on. I think
your counterarguments are spread out a bit throughout your essay, you should gather any sort
of counterargument into one place and prove those assumptions wrong after you state them.
Do not let your audience read something that might make them take that position without you
giving them a reason as to why that point is invalid or weaker than your argument.

I think your conclusion needs to wrap up your essay, and what your argument was. It
seems as if you started a new point and introduced it their to finish off your essay. You could
talk about evolution in an earlier paragraph and then wrap up your writing here instead. Wrap
up your writing by restating your thesis, and why your argument is stronger. This will allow
your paper to be more complete and your argument to be stronger.

Sincerely,

Ricardo E. Corona