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Valeria Abad

Ms. Wilson

English II

October 13, 2019

Personal Narrative

I was born in Venezuela, I grew up there and I was raised by my parents, our whole

family has always been very close, in school everything was good, I never had problems with

anybody, I used to get along with almost everybody. I met my best friend in 4th grade, she had a

little brother the same age as my brother so the four of us would always be together. My life was

“perfect” until they voted for the wrong president. Then around 2016 things started to get really

bad so my parents decided to move to the United States without telling me or my brothers. I was

in 6th grade and it was the end of the school year. My class had a graduation party and that was

the last time I saw my friends. That was the last time I saw my best friend. I didn't even get to

say goodbye to them because I thought I would see them again. I went to my grandma’s house

and my whole family was there, I thought they were having a party. It turns out that they were

just saying goodbye to us. My mom told me we would be going on vacation for 2 weeks, so I just

said, “I will see you in 2 weeks!” to all my family and friends. It has been 3 years and I miss

them a lot.

When we arrived in Raleigh, my parents said we were just visiting some friends that

moved here and a few weeks after that I started going to school. People would go up to me and
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talk to me but I didn’t know any English. I couldn’t even tell them that I didn’t understand what

they were saying. I felt like I was drowning in a cup of water, sitting in class for 7 hours, 5 days

a week and couldn’t understand what they were saying to me. Five months passed and I began to

understand what they were saying to me and I could answer them. Then I started high school,

one day in math these two boys were talking and I was walking by when one of them asked me

something but I wasn’t paying attention, so I didn’t say anything. Then he yelled my name and

asked me something but I couldn’t hear him, so I decided to just say “yes” and he started

laughing and giving me nasty looks, “What’s so funny?” I asked in anger. He responded with;

“This is why you should swim back to México!” I was so shook my jaw fell to the floor.

Everybody was looking at me and I felt blue. I wanted to cry but all I did was nothing. The

teacher didn’t say anything to them she just told me to go sit down. That boy never apologized to

me or said anything to me after that.

After this happened I was worried about him or his friends going up to me to say mean

things like that. I was scared and nervous for a couple weeks, looking at him in class or in the

hallways and I just felt like crying, just thinking about what he said to me made me feel so bad

and angry at the same time, I just wanted to scream. I wanted to shout as hard as I could but I

knew that wouldn’t be a good idea. Time passed by and I decided that I should just let that go

and focus on what would I do if something like that happens again to me or one of my friends or

family. Now days when I hear someone saying that kind of stuff to others or to me, I stand up to

the bullies. I still get scared to talk to them but it’s the best thing to do. I feel proud of myself for

defending those who are scared to say something to the bullies.

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NCSoS Anchor Standard W.3 – Write narratives to develop real or imagined experiences or events using
effective technique, well-chosen details, and well-structured event sequences.

Scoring Rubric for Narrative Essay

Reporting Scoring Criteria
Category
Row A 0 points 1 point
Exposition For any of the following: ● Engages and orients the reader to an apparent
(0-1 points) ● Does not set out an apparent problem, problem/situation/observation AND
situation, situation or observation. ● Establishes a clear point of view AND
● Does not establish one or multiple points of ● Introduces definitive characters.
view
● Does not introduce a narrator and/or
characters

Decision Rules and Scoring Notes

Responses that does not earn this point:
● The problem, situation, or observation must be
inferred.
● The character’s relationship to the problem is
vague/ must be inferred.
● The point of view shifts with no clear narrative
purpose.
Responses that earn this point:
● The exposition effectively sets out a problem,
situation, or observation using a
creative/compelling hook.
● The exposition establishes at least one
consistent point of view.
● The exposition introduces a narrator and/or
characters, and setting

Reporting Scoring Criteria

Category
Row B 0 points 1 point 2 points 3 points 4 points
Narrative Decision Rules and Scoring Notes
Techniques Responses that earn Responses that earn Responses that earn Responses that earn Responses that
AND 0 pts: 1 pt: 2 pts: 3 pts: earn 4 pts:
❏ Uses no ❏ Incorporates ❏ Uses dialogue to ❏ Uses sensory ❏ Uses vivid
Development purposeful dialogue establish language sensory
(0-4 points) narrative ❏ Gives basic characterization ❏ Manipulates time language that
techniques description of or to reveal plot through use of conveys a
❏ Demonstrates characters points flashback, flash picture
little to no and events ❏ Has a clear forward, etc. ❏ Manipulates
originality beginning, time through
middle, and end use of
flashback,
flash forward,
etc. to create
such effects
as mystery,
tension, or
surprise
Additional Notes:
● Writing that suffers from grammatical and/or mechanical errors that interfere with communication cannot
earn the fourth point in this row.

Reporting Scoring Criteria

Category
Row C 0 points 1 point
Sophistication Does not meet the criteria for 1 point.
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(0-1 points) Demonstrates application of advanced narrative

technique.

Decision Rules and Scoring Notes

Responses that do not earn this point: Responses that earn this point may demonstrate
sophistication of thought by doing the following:
● Multiple or parallel plot lines

Student Scores:

Assignment Requirement Points Earned Points Possible

Narrative Brainstorm 5 5 points

Narrative Outline 5 5 points

Narrative Draft 10 10 points

Narrative Final 22.5 (4.5 x 5) 30 Points (6 points x 5)

Total Score: 42.5 50 Points