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Jocelyne Baires

Professor Ditch

English 115

9 December 2019

Relationships and Experiences is Significant

The objective in life is to achieve happiness. People continue to believe happiness is the

enjoyment of a short time period from their life but, achieving happiness comes from the effort

that is brought up by one's internal and external spaces. The four articles, “How Happy Are You

and Why?”, “The Sources of Happiness”, “The Sources of Happiness,” and “Living with Less.

A Lot less.” all informs the audience the idea that the relationships and experiences we create are

the real aspects why one may be happy. Each of these authors has their own beliefs of

transforming space to achieve happiness. Sonja Lyumbomirksy, The Dalia Lama and Howard

Cutler, and David Brooks focuses on internal happiness however, they differ in their suggestions

of transforming space in order to achieve happiness. In the article, “How Happy Are You and

Why?,” Lyubomirsky provides research that demonstrates how one can achieve happiness by

their actions which is driven by internal minds. In the article, “The Sources of Happiness,” Lama

and Cutler informs the audience the differences between happiness and pleasure which helps the

audience have a clear understanding of what they should be achieving. In the article, “What

Suffering Does,” Brooks presents how many different historical figures achieves happiness by

the feelings that they have after their tragic incidents. Although, Graham Hill focuses on external

space and informs the audience to decide whether or not temporary things brings happiness. In

his article, “Living with Less. A Lot less.,” he shares his own experiences by comparing his

thoughts while living in giant home and a small house by externally feeling the stress of all the
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materials. In order to achieve happiness one needs to acknowledge their internal and external

spaces and admire the real unique experiences that fulfills their aspirations.

Many people believe that their happiness levels connects with their parents happiness

levels.In the article, “How Happy Are You and Why” by Sonja Lyubomirksy, provides a pie

chart of how happiness can potentially be determined by “10% circumstance, 50% set point, and

40% intentional activity.”(pp184) The pie chart clearly states that it is partially our responsibility

to achieve happiness by the effort that we put into our experiences and relationships. This

emphasizes that fact that it is our choice to change our lives internally by creating relationships

and memories that makes our lives happier. If one gains happiness by the choices that they make

then they will realize that becoming happier depends on their internal status of having memories

and experiences that motivates them to do things that make them happy. Another step into

achieving happiness is creating short term and long term goals because it is “40% intentional

activity.” (Lyubomirsky 184) In other words, many people can feel unhappy at some time in

their life but, achieving happiness is a nonstop goal that everyone has and it is important for one

to internally create goals in order to fulfill their aspirations. Lyubomirsky reassures that

consistently enjoying life can be challenging but it is also important to remember that

“Happiness consists in activity...It is a running stream, not a stagnant pool.” (pp194) In other

words, it is fine to feel down for a couple of weeks, months, and years. Although, one should not

let any negativity stop them from achieving their goals because happiness relies on the effort that

we put into our lives to become happier. The relationships that we create and the people that we

meet influences our happiness due to the memories that are built.

Understanding the differences between happiness and pleasure is important for one to

make decisions. The misinterpretation of pleasure and happiness starts at a young age and we
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usually use objects to represent our mental state. The Dalia Lama and Howard Cutler in their

article, “The Sources of Happiness”, presents a story on Heather, a counselor who lives in

Phoenix, realizes “the growing population, the traffic, and the oppressive heat in the summer”

affects her environment but her job makes her happy. (pp 30) These small aspects is affecting her

life and is unnecessary because it is creating a distraction from her internal space which she can

not realize. If one does not separate their pleasure and happiness thoughts than one's internal

mind is going to continue to be blocked by the negative reasons that we can't control. The jobs

that we get incorporate people which then we continue to create relationships and experiences

with that fulfills our goals in life. The environment that we can't control does not make everyone

happy forever it is the goals that we are trying to achieve. Many people confuse the idea of

pleasure and happiness and if one continues to think that their pleasure brings them happiness

then, one will be looking for happiness forever because pleasure lasts for a small time period and

true happiness lasts for long periods.The people and the memories that we create motivate many

to continue to do what makes them happy.

People believe that their mental state is going to stay the same forever however, it is only

temporary. In the article, “What Suffering Does?” by David Brooks provides details of how

many historical figures feel after dealing with tragic incidents. Brooks explains how Theologian

Paul Tillich realizes people who suffer from “tragic events are revealing an area.” (pp 286) In

other words, after one endures a tragic moment or a suffering period, they reflect and analyze

what happened and question themselves on how they can become stronger. Even though these

suffering periods may seem long, fortunately they are temporarily and it is our choice to

internally engage with one's mind and learn something about ourselves which will help us

achieve happiness from our suffering experience. Brooks then admires these tragic moments as
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“fearful gifts” (pp 287) to acknowledge that struggling is normal and learning comes from

heartbreaks, incidents, and dealing with loss. Dealing with tragedies benefits many because one

can become happier by motivating themselves internally by analyzing the strengths and

weaknesses that one has and moving forward and creating an outstanding outcome. If one does

not suffer, then one will never grow and achieve happiness because once we experience suffering

then we cherish the people and the experiences that we make. In order for one to achieve

happiness, one needs to endure in some pain to be able to appreciate experiences and

relationships more. Dealing with loss or suffering helps one cherish and value the small little

things that we take for granted.

Not many people appreciate the relationships and the connections that they get between

the world and the environment. We have all been trained to feel happy once we receive an

object. Mostly everyone has dreams about buying the most expensive cars and mansions but

don't understand the reality of having these problems. Expensive technology are being created

every day in our lives however, whatever we see whether it be a phone or computer it can be

replaced in a matter of months. In the article, “Living with Less. A Lot Less.” by Graham Hill

expresses how he felt living in a “3,600-square foot home was unnecessarily complicated” (pp

309), due to the high maintenance that his house needed. He then meets Olga whom he cherishes

the “love and adventure” (pp 311) that they both experienced while traveling to Spain. It is

important to not cherish the external gifts that we receive however, we should cherish the

relationships and experiences that we create because memories last longer and will linger around

the back of one's mind and remind us that these are the reasons why we should strive to create

more connections with our world. Realizing that our past experiences or relationships has created

more opportunities to meet new people will help one realize that these are the moments to live
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for since we only get one version of ourselves. What society doesn't tell people is that living a

glamorous life is just for desires and exhausting due to the fact of keeping up with the expenses

of their extravagant things. The big homes and fancy cars does not bring anyone happiness but it

does bring pleasure. Happiness is a genuine feeling that is different from pleasure. If someone

continues to believe that the temporary things brings them happiness then they will always have

difficulty looking for what truly makes them happy. Again, the people that we meet and the

opportunities that we are offered are the small aspects of becoming happier because having many

different experiences will create one to be more optimistic. Every relationship that we create

helps us learn something about ourselves. Once we know more things about ourselves, then we

are able to detect the real ideas that makes us happy.

Achieving happiness is difficult, but one should never give up due to the greatness of the

internal and external things that one experiences on a daily basis. All authors successfully

informs the audience that there are two ways one can achieve happiness. Sonja Lyumbomirksy,

The Dalia Lama and Howard Cutler, and David Brooks suggests that internal space is the key to

achieve happiness because being happy relies on the determination that one has. Graham Hill

suggests that external space helps people understand the differences between pleasure and

happiness. Overall all of the articles present the idea that the relationships we create with people

and the environment are the small aspects that impacts our mental state. Achieving happiness is a

process that is recursive and everyone wants to achieve happiness but, it is their responsibility of

making an effort to achieve happiness.

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Works Cited

Brooks, David. “What Suffering Does” Pursuing Happiness: a Bedford Spotlight Reader, by

Matthew Parfitt and Dawn Skorczewski, Bedford/St. Martin's, a Macmillan Education Imprint,

2016. pp, 284-287

Hill, Graham. “Living with Less. A Lot Less.” Pursuing Happiness: a Bedford Spotlight Reader,

by Matthew Parfitt and Dawn Skorczewski, Bedford/St. Martin's, a Macmillan Education

Imprint, 2016. pp, 308-313

Lama, Dalia, and Howard Cutler “The Sources of Happiness”Pursuing Happiness: a

Bedford Spotlight Reader, by Matthew Parfitt and Dawn Skorczewski, Bedford/St.

Martin's, a Macmillan Education Imprint, 2016. pp, 21-33

Lyubomirsky, Sonja “How Happy Are You and Why? ” Pursuing Happiness: a Bedford

Spotlight Reader, by Matthew Parfitt and Dawn Skorczewski, Bedford/St. Martin's, a

Macmillan Education Imprint, 2016. pp, 179-197