Irene Arias October 4th, 2019

English 101 Prof.Ferrara

Literacy Narrative

When I look back on my past, I believe I had a lot of learning to do. I’ve grown up a lot

since and learned to appreciate myself more. As a kid, I used to get bullied for the way I would

speak and pronounce my words. For words like remember I would say “renember” or instead of

milk I would say “melk”. At the time I thought pronouncing these words in that way were

correct. At least I wasn’t the only one at the time. I was raised by a Puerto Rican family that had

strong accents and English wasn’t their first language.

My mom and grandmother would speak English, but it wasn’t always perfect. They

didn’t have the best grammar and would pronounce the words wrong, like I did. The only

difference was that I had the opportunity to fix it in school whereas they didn’t. I grew up with

a mother who dropped out of school because she has a learning disability. My mother is

illiterate which means she does not know how to read and write. As much as we tried to teach

her and get her help, she still couldn’t comprehend anything. It was hard for her to find a job.

We struggled a lot. As a little girl I had to do everything for her. When it comes to reading a

simple menu or filling out applications, I would have to read and write the answers for her. At

times I would get tired of it but then I remembered how she feels everyday having to ask

someone for help all the time. She had a hatred for bothering other people for her problems.

Sadly, I knew how she felt as I was in her shoes.

 She wasn’t the only one in the family who had a learning disability. When I was in the

third grade I got tested. I remember it was a simple test that would make me read or do math.

They would also make me do little memory games to see how good it was. When we got the

results back, I was confused. I thought I did well on it but that wasn’t the case. I learned I have a

disability that caused me to forget things that require a lot of steps like math. At the time

everything seemed fine and I didn’t have any trouble. It wasn’t until I got a little older, I’ve

started to have difficulties. I’ve noticed as math got harder; I couldn’t keep up with it.

Everything I was learning I couldn’t remember how to do. I couldn’t comprehend like the other

students. The others made it seem so easy but for me it was the hardest thing in the world. I

couldn’t understand how they did it.

Every time we would learn math I had to be pulled out of class. My regular class did not

have many students but for me to focus more they would put me in a separate room when I’m

taught math. The separate room had another teacher who had at least 8 students in total. The

room was white and had some parts on the walls that were green. It had shelves with books

and a big table that was the shape of a crescent moon. The teacher taught us the topics and

strategies but in other ways that we can comprehend it. I couldn’t understand why I had to be

separated from everyone else.

Kids eventually caught on and started calling me and the other students who need extra

help names. We would walk out of class and they would yell “GET OUT SPECIAL ED KIDS!” or

“WHY ARE YOU GUYS SO SLOW!” If that was just elementary school, I couldn’t have imagined

high school. I knew it was going to be worse and I didn’t know how to prepare myself. I guess I

didn’t have a choice.

 My learning disability caused me to get left back from school two times. I recently just

graduated from high school one month before my 20th birthday. Back in first grade they left me

behind. I had trouble reading big words. For example, the word “because” was one of them.

During that time no one knew I had an actual problem. Instead teachers just assumed I didn’t

practice enough when I did but just couldn’t remember. I just forgot everything and how to

pronounce them. No one couldn’t understand me, but I couldn’t understand myself either. I

didn’t blame them. The second time I got left back was when I moved to Connecticut. I left

Richard R Green High School of Teaching to start a new year at Ansonia High.

The school’s psychologist told me I didn’t have enough credits to enter my junior year. I

knew I had trouble with my classes at my old high school, but I didn’t think it would’ve affected

me that badly. I didn’t even know I failed until the psychologist told me. At Richard R Green, I

wasn’t getting the extra help I needed. They weren’t pulling me out of class as much as I was

supposed to. The class sizes were bigger than I was used to and would have at least 30 or more

students in a classroom. It was harder for me to focus. When I did get pulled out the teacher

couldn’t help me. She didn’t understand my work. I remember I once asked her for help with

math. She couldn’t understand it to the point that she gave me all wrong answers. When I take

test and quizzes I’m supposed to be pulled out as well to be in a quieter setting. That didn’t

happen in that school.

Eventually I had stopped going to school because I didn’t feel smart enough. I felt like I

was stupid and didn’t belong. I hated the feeling of being in math class and not knowing what’s

going on. I’m also a person who is scared and embarrassed to ask for help. Everything was so

easy for everyone else and I couldn’t understand why it was difficult for me. At just 16 years old
I was on the verge of dropping out of high school. When I moved here everything changed. In

the beginning of the school year back in 2017, I got retested. As I was waiting to get retested, I

was nervous. The feel and touch of the pencil I was holding while hearing it tap rapidly on the

desk. To calm my anxiety down, I would chew gum and listen to music. It would help me not to

overthink. It was the same test as I remembered. Doing some reading, math problems and the

same memory games.

When I got my results, nothing changed. It was the same results I had in third grade. I

had a little hope that I would be better, and it would have gone away but unfortunately that’s

not how it works. They also did a test to see if I suffered from anything else in my complex

mindset. It turned out I also suffered from severe anxiety and moderate depression. I started

having an extra class with a resource teacher. She would help with my homework and go step

by step on how to do it so I can at least remember the basics. Whenever I felt overwhelmed or

had a breakdown, I would go to her and she would calm me down. Her room became a safe

place for me. I wasn’t afraid to go to her room because other high school students didn’t notice.

If anything, they didn’t ask any questions or made me feel uncomfortable. I started getting

better at my classes. I was doing great to the point that I was able to take honors classes my

junior year. I even made the honor roll. I became very determined and started thinking more

positively. My mindset changed and I started to set goals for myself. I knew what I wanted to do

with my future. All I knew was that I wanted to go to college and succeed in life.

During my senior year of high school, I struggled. I started taking chemistry and it was

the hardest class I’ve ever taken. I started getting discouraged about graduating. I started

getting discouraged about college. I felt like my future was on the line. I knew I had to retake
chemistry in college since I wanted to do nursing so not understanding it in high school gave me

doubts. I found out that I ended my senior year passing the class with a B. I also struggled with

applying for college. The whole application process wasn’t easy for me. It was hard to find

universities that would give me a chance since I had a low GPA. My intention was to go to a

four-year university because I wanted the whole experience. My top schools of choice were

Central Connecticut State University, University of Hartford, and Loyola University New Orleans.

While everyone at school was receiving acceptance letters I was still waiting. It turned out that I

wasn’t one of the lucky ones. I had no choice but to attend community college. I was

devastated while everyone was happy with their college of choice.

As senior year was ending and graduation was quickly approaching, I started realizing

that everything happens for a reason. I started becoming happy with my decision on going to

Gateway and having the opportunity to attend a college. I started feeling thankful knowing that

I can attend college no matter if it’s a two year or four-year college when others may not have

either or as an option. I also started listing the pros and cons. I liked the fact that I would have

the same education for a cheaper price, so I won’t be stuck on an overload of student debt

after graduating. I also like that it’s a small campus and gives me a great foundation on how

college would be like. It was a very smooth transition. I also like how Gateway is very open on

helping me with my disability. I am now happy to see what my future has in store for me and

see what it will be like. I am also happy on how I’ve grown to be a person who doesn’t let my

disability define me and hold me back.

Finally, I am now a confident, determine, goal-oriented women who has a lot to look

forward to and can’t wait to see what my future would bring me.