Source: Swales, J. M., & Feak, C. B. (2004).

Academic writing for graduate students: Essential

tasks and skills (2nd ed.). Ann Arbor, MI: The University of Michigan Press.

I. Structure of Data Commentary

Data commentaries usually have the following elements in the following order.
1. Location elements and/or summary statements
2. Highlighting statements
3. Discussions of implications, problems, exceptions, recommendations, etc.
Here is the data commentary with these elements marked.

[Location + indicative summary] Table 5 shows the most common sources of infection for U.S.
businesses. [Linking as-clause and highlight] As can be seen, in a great majority of cases, the entry
point of the virus infection can be detected, with e-mail attachments being responsible for nearly 9
out of 10 viruses. [Implications] This very high percentage is increasingly alarming, especially
since with a certain amount of caution such infections are largely preventable. 0 In conseqence, e-
mail users should be wary of all attachments, even those from a trusted colleague. In addition, all
computers used for e-mail need to have a current version of a good antivirus program whose virus
definitions are updated regularly. While it may be possible to lessen the likelihood of downloading
an infected file, businesses are still vulnerable to computer virus problems because of human error
and the threat of new, quickly spreading viruses that cannot be identified by antivirus software.

Table 1 Starting a Data Commentary

Location Element Summary
a. Table 5 shows the points of entry of computer viruses for U.S. businesses.
b. Table 2 provides details of the fertilizer used.
c. Figure 2 plots the two series for the last five years.
d. Figure 4.2 gives the results of the second experiment.

The passive can also be used, as demonstrated by Table 2.

Table 2 Passives in Starting a Data Commentary

Summary Location Element
a. The most common modes of computer infection are shown in Table 5.
for U.S. businesses
b. The details of the fertilizer used are provided in Table 2.
c. The two series for the last five years are plotted in Figure 2.
d. The results of the second experiment are given In Figure 4.2.

We bring two points to your attention here. First, note the consistent use of the present tense. This
occurs because the author is talking about his or her present paper. Second, in English the active
forms are just as appropriate as the passive versions. (However, in a number of languages it may not
be natural to say that a graph or other inanimate object reveals, gives, or suggests.)
Now notice that all the examples provide general summaries of the data. We have been told nothing
yet about what the common modes of infection might be, which fertilizers were actually used, or
what the results of the second experiment were. Alternatively, the writer could have highlighted a
key piece of the data, as in the following.1

a. Table 5 shows that home disks are the major source of computer viruses.
b. Table 2 gives the active ingredients in the fertilizer.
c. Figure 4.2 suggests that the experimental results confirm the hypothesis.

1
Notice the use of that in examples a and c. Sentences containing that-clauses do not easily go into
the passive.

These two ways of writing the location element are similar to a two-way classification often used to
categorize journal article abstracts. Indicative abstracts merely indicate what kind of research has
been done; informative abstracts additionally give the main results. The parallel, we believe, is
close, and therefore we can describe location elements as either indicative or informative.

II. Language Focus: Linking as-Clauses

So far, we have used sentences in which the reference to nonverbal data is either the subject or the
agent in the main clause. However, a more common structure for introducing informative
statements is the linking as-clause. Here are three examples.
 As shown in Fig. 1 and Fig. 2, the companies used in this survey varied significantly in
geographical location, size, and method of operation.
 As can be seen in Table 5, the overall rate of recall, while low, also showed considerable
variation.
 Shallow junction CM APDs, peripheral area test structures, and gate-controlled diodes, as
shown in Figs. 1(a), 1(b), and 1(c), were manufactured in p-type epitaxially grown bulk silicon
using a conventional 1.5 um CMOS process reported previously.

These linking clauses (where as does not equal since or because) are exceptional in English
grammar. In the passive, these linking clauses have no subjects. Compare the following sentences.
a. As it has been proved, the theory may have practical importance.
b. As has been proved, the theory may have practical importance.
In sentence a there is a causal relationship between the as-clause and the main clause. Because the
theory has been proved, it may have practical importance. In sentence b the as-clause serves to
suggest that the practical importance of the theory (not just the theory) has been established.
Although you may find examples that run contrary to this advice, remember, then, not to use
subjects in passive linking as-clauses.
Finally, using prepositions with this type of linking statement can be tricky. Here are some of the
main standard uses.
in As shown in Table 1 ...
by As predicted by the model . . .
on As described on the previous page . . .

III. Highlighting Statements

The central sections of data commentaries consist of highlighting statements. Highlighting
statements are generalizations that you can draw from the details of the data display. We have
already seen some examples in the text that accompanies Task Two. Highlighting statements need
good judgment. They are an opportunity to show your intelligence. In particular, they are an
opportunity for you to demonstrate
that you can spot trends or regularities in the data,
that you can separate more important findings from less important ones, and
that you can make claims of appropriate strength.

So, do not
simply repeat all the details in words,
attempt to cover all the information, or
claim more than is reasonable or defensible.

IV. Concluding a Commentary

Concluding a commentary requires some original thinking. This is demonstrated in Table 3, which
displays the typical elements of a conclusion in the order in which they generally appear.

Table 3 Concluding a Data Commentary or Results Section

Explanations and/or implications Usually required
Unexpected results or unsatisfactory data If necessary
Possible further research or possible future predictions If appropriate