“Compliment + Guess” conversation starter

After the group separates or the person you want

to get to know better begins walking away,
approach them and say:
41. “Sorry to bother you, but I couldn’t help
noticing how great you are with people. Are you
also in sales?”
42. “I really enjoyed the story you told back there!
Are you a motivational speaker?”
43. “As someone who is obviously comfortable in
their own skin, are you a coach by any chance?”
This framing is super effective not only because
most people love compliments but also because
these questions allow you to learn more about
what the other person does and to do so in a fun
way.
Speaking of guessing, the next time you meet
someone and you have the urge to resort to the
old “Where are you from?” or “What do you
do?” question, stop yourself and try this reframe
instead:
“The Guessing Game” conversation
starter
44. “Where are you from? No, wait, don’t tell me.
Let me guess!”
45. “What do you do? Actually, don’t tell me. Give
me a clue, and let me guess!”
46. “Growing up, my dad and I used to guess
people’s names and, believe it or not, I got pretty
good at it. I once guessed 497 people’s names
correctly in a row. Is your name Bob?”
Then, take a stab at their profiles by observing
their accent, clothing, mannerisms, etc.

Oldies but Goodies

When attending your next networking event, you
could also go with these oldies but goodies:
47. “If you weren’t here tonight, what would you
be doing on a normal Tuesday evening?”
This question immediately opens the door for
people to talk about their hobbies, interests, side-
projects, and families. This makes it easy to see if
you share common interests with them.
48. “What’s your favorite part of your job?”
49. “What advice would you give yourself if you
could rewind the clock to when you were just
starting out?”
50. “What’s the best advice you were ever
given?”
51. “What do you like to do on the weekends?”
52. “If you could start a business today, what
would it be?”

Or How About These

Questions If You’re Visiting
a New City for an Event?
53. “I’ve never been to San Diego before. Do you
have any recommendations for places to see off
the beaten path?”
54. “I’m getting too old to go out drinking all
night, but I love trying new restaurants. What’s
your favorite spot that not a lot of people know
about?”
55. “Do you have a trick to get rid of jet-lag?”
56. “If you had a free day and $100 to spend,
what would you do in town to maximize every
dollar?”
57. “This is my first time at an event like this. Is
there something I absolutely shouldn’t miss?”
58. “This is my first time at an event like this. Is
there something you’d recommend I not do, just
to be safe?”

And Last but Not Least, My

Go-To Conversation-Starter,
Which I’ve Recycled Time
and Again
59. “I believe we have a mutual friend in...”
This one comes with a caveat: you have to do
your homework before the event. Fortunately,
social media makes this easy.
Most networking events are plastered around
places like Facebook and LinkedIn, which makes it
easy to determine who will be in attendance. A
quick cross-reference with names that pop out on
LinkedIn will allow you to see if you have any
mutual connections. Take the time to confirm you
actually share real connections, as everyone on
LinkedIn seems to “know” everyone else.
A Bullet-Proof Way to End
Conversations
A big part of leaving a strong first impression that
doesn’t get nearly as much play as it should is
mastering how to end a conversation.
I never kick off conversations by introducing
myself. There is a good reason for this: most
people have a hard time remembering names,
especially when they hear a name without any
context behind it.
So, instead of leading with, “Hi, my name is
Michael,” I’ve found much greater success leaving
my name for the end of the conversation. For
example, “I really enjoyed speaking with you. I
only have one more question: my name’s Michael.
What’s yours?”
By exchanging names at the end of a
conversation, you raise the probability of both
parties remembering them. Not only that, the
conversation “ender” above is guaranteed to get a
smile, and it presents an opportunity to ask for
contact details: “I had a great time getting to
know you, Luc. Would you mind if we connected
on LinkedIn and continued this conversation at a
later date?”

Pulling It All Together

Networking events can be uncomfortable. Believe
me, I feel your pain. I grew up with a severe
speech impediment and I still stutter when I’m
nervous.
However, since adopting Cal Fussman’s mindset
by positioning networking events as a chance to
develop new personal relationships, I’ve grown to
really enjoy them. As a result, my professional
opportunities have also grown. A big reason for
this is that I’ve collected the conversation-starters
above and tailored them to the specific situations I
encounter and the people I meet.
The bottom line is that, like anything else in life,
you have to find your own way by figuring out
what works best for you as an individual. My hope
is that the ideas discussed in this article will help
you do just that.
Remember, careers aren’t built one job at a time
— they’re built one relationship at a time.