Theatre For Young Audiences Version Book by Timothy Allen McDonald Music and Lyrics by Timothy Allen McDonald, David Weinstein, Jonathan K. Waller, Stephen Gabriel Based on the book Fiat Stanley by Jeff Brown Mlustrated by Scott Nash NOTICE: DO NOT DEFACE! ‘Should you find it necessary to mark cues or cuts, use a soft black lead pencil only, NOT FOR SALE This book is rented for the period specified in your contrac. It remains the property of / id PLEASE RETURN ALL MATERIALS TO: 4 MT! MUSIC LIBRARY 317A INDUSTRIAL PARK ROAD. NEW HARTFORD, CT 06057 423 Wes 5ath Steet, New York, NY 10019 (212) 541-4604CHARACTERS STANLEY ARTHUR ‘Mr. LaMBcHoP Mrs. Lamscrior BULLETIN BoaRD Mrs, CaRTERO Doctor DAN Hotiywoon AGENT Hottywoon ASSISTANTS Sa Jay Darr MONA Lisa NAPOLton SNEAK THIEF HRB WAVECREST BIKINI WAHINI Go-Go DancersMusicat NUMBERS 1. Meet the Lambchops. 3. Lambchop Lullaby. 4, 1 Wish I Were-Part 1 5. Wish I Were-Part 2. 7, Stanley's Wisk 8. Flatcakes for Breakfast 9, My Child és Flat 14, The Funny Sunny Side. 15. na Tree... 17. Travetin' Through the Mail. 20. Talent 21. Arthur's Letter . 25, Mom and Dad's Letter. 29, Surfin! The Mail nse 31. Travelin’ Through the Mail FinaleSONGS BY CHARACTER STANLEY 1. Meet the Lamibchops. 4.1 Wish I Were-Part 1 5.1 Wish I Were-Part 2 nnn 7. Stanley's Wish 8, Flatcakes for Breakfast. 9. My Child is Flat. 14, The Funny Sunny Side. 15. In a Tree, 17. Travelin’ Through the Mail. 20, Talent. 25, Mom and Dad's Letter. soe 29, Surfin’ The Mail 49 31. Travelin’ Through the ‘Mail Finale. 58 ARTHUR 1. Meet the Lanbchops git 4.1 Wish 1 Were-Part 1 5 8. Flatoakes for Breakfast 13 9. My Child is Flat a5 17. Travelin’ Throwgh the Mail .mme30 20, Talenrsnene 36 21, Artnur's Letter, esl 29, Surfin’ The Mail sown AD 31. Travelin’ Through the Mail Finale... 58 MR. LAMBCHOP 1. Mect the Lamibchops 3. Lambchop Lullaby 5. 1 Wish 1 Were-Part 2 8, Flateakes for Breakfast... 9. My Child is Flat. 14, The Funny Sunny Side ...ov0n23 M 17, Travelin’ Through the Mail ......30 wi 25, Mom and Dad's Letter. AT 29, Surfin’ The Mail snnene 31, Travelin’ Through the Mail Finale oo 55 ‘MRS, LAMBCHOP 1. Meet the Lambchop sn 3. Lambchop Lutlaby 3 8. Flatcakes for Breakfast . 9. My Child is Flat I 14, The Funny Sunny Side 23 i 17, Travelin’ Through the Mail.. | 20. Tate 25. Mom and Dad's Letter. mensnctilet i 28, Surin’ The Mail. = 31 Travelin Through the } Mall Fn j MRS, CARTERO } 1. Met the Lambchop ae 7. Stanley's Wish... =! 17. Travelin’ Through the Mail 30 20, Talent ssennnannoe 29, Surfin’ The Mail el 31. Travelin’ Through the Mail Finale... ictCHARACTER BY SONGS 1, MEET THE LAMBCHOPS Company LAMBCHOP LULLABY ‘Mr. Lambchop Mrs, Lambchop |. 1 WISH I WERE-PART 1 Stantey Arthur 1 WISH 1 WERE-PART 2 Stanley (Mr. Lambchop) STANLEY'S WISH Stanley Bulletin Board Offstage voices FLATCAKES FOR BREAKFAST Mrs, Lambchop ‘Mr. Lambchop Stanley Arthur ). MY CHILD IS FLAT Mrs, Lambchop ‘Mr. Lambchop Stanley Arthur 14. THE FUNNY SUNNY SIDE Mrs, Lambchop Mr. Lambchop Stanley 15, INA TREE Stanley 17. TRAVELIN' THROUGH THE MAIL Company 20, TALENT Hollywood Agent Hollywood Assistants Stanley 21, ARTHUR'S LETTER Arthur 25, MOM AND DAD'S LETTER Stanley ‘Mr. Lambchop ‘Mrs. Lambchop 29, SURFIN’ THE MAIL Stanley Bikini Wahini Company 31. TRAVELIN' THROUGH THE MAIL (FINALE) CompanyTue Musicas Apventures oF Pua Srancey TYA (Music is heard in the distance. House lights to half as the music grows louder and more present. The LAMBCHOP fantily is revealed, formally posed. MRS. CARTERO enters.) MRS. CARTERO Meet the Lambchops! They're your average family, living in your average town! ALL MEET THE LAMBCHOPS! MRS. CARTERO Meet Dad! (MR. LAMBCHOP steps out of the picture.) Awesome interpreter of bedtime classics like "Goodnight Moon’ and "Go, Dog Go!" (MR. LAMBCHOP nods and steps back into the picture.) ALL HE'S DAD! MRS. CARTERO And that's Mom! ALL SHE'S MOM! (MRS. LAMBCHOP waves.) MRS. CARTERO She's as smart as she is pretty, makes the best PB&J on the block, and can cure most anything with a hug and a perfectly placed band-aid. ALL THAT'S MOM! (MRS. LAMBCHOP steps back into the picture. ARTHUR steps forward, emphatically.) MRS. CARTERO That's Arthur. ALL MEET ARTHUR LAMBCHOP THE LITTLE BROTHER!Tue Musicat Apventures oF FLar STantey TYA MRS. CARTERO Whatcha got there, Arthur? (ARTHUR holds up an encyclopedia of insects.) ARTHUR ENCYCLOPEDIA OF INSECTS! ALL AHI MRS. CARTERO An encyclopedia of insects? Looks like Arthur's getting a jump on his science homework. Good for you Arthur! ALL DOING HIS HOMEWORK FEELIN’ REALLY SMART THATS ARTHUR! (STANLEY crosses to ARTHUR, intending to bring him back to the family.) MRS. CARTERO ARTHUR holds the end, making the cape fly in the air.) GROUP 1 GROUP 2 AH! IT’S STANLEY! AHL OUR HERO, AH! STANLEY LAMBCHOP! AHL MEET STANLEY! MRS. CARTERO That's Stanley Lambchop, all right. Just your average kid, doing regular things. But that's all about to change. (The main curtain rises, reveating the bedroom of STANLEY and ARTHUR STANLEY and ARTHUR run off and change into their pajama bottoms.) ALL STANLEY LAMBCHOP ‘YOUR LIFE'S ABOUT TO CHANGE LOOK OUT! STANLEY! MRS. CARTERO Yep, they're the Lambchops, and tonight's the night their lives are gonna change. (ARTHUR steps back into the picture) = And that must make you Stanley. Stanley Lambchop! =z (MR. and MRS, LAMBCHOP tie a homemade cape around STANLEY's neck,Tue Musical ApveNnTuRES oF Frat Stantey TYA (ARTHUR enters, yeuons and lays on his bed.) ALL YOU'VE MET THE LAMBCHOPS THEIR LIVES ARE GONNA CHANGE! (STANLEY enters, and tickles ARTHUR.) BETTER WATCH OUT LAMBCHOPS YOUR LIVES ARE ABOUT TO CHANGE! MEET THE LAMBCHOPS! (The FAMILY strikes their pose from the top of the show.) LA ET SET (MRS. CARTERO removes mail from the mailbox and exits stage right. ARTHUR crosses to his bed and hands MR. LAMBCHOP a book. STANLEY and ARTHUR cross to their beds, istening as MR. LAMBCHOP reads) SCENE 1 THE BEDROOM OF STANLEY AND ARTHUR LAMBCHOP 2 MR. LAMBCHOP (reading from the book) "When the little party was over, Mr. and Mrs, Lambchop tucked the brothers back into bed and turned out the light. Very soon all the Lambchops were asleep." MRS. LAMBCHOP It's time for bed, boys. (MRS, LAMBCHOP finishes dressing ARTHUR for bed, MR. LAMBCHOP helps STANLEY.) MR. AND MRS. LAMBCHOP SLEEP WELL SLEEP TIGHT ‘SWEET CHILD OF MINE MAKE A WISH. ON A STAR SWEET CHILD OF MINETue Musreat ADVENTURES OF FLAT Stantey TYA AND SHOULD THAT STAR FALL FROM THE SKY ‘YOUR WISH MAY COME TRUE IT. COULD HAPPEN TO YOU (MR. and MRS. LAMBCHOP tuck each child into bed, then switch fo the opposite child and say good night.) YES, YOUR WISH MAY FOREVER COME TRUE. MRS. LAMBCHOP Now off to sleep, my little princes. STANLEY Can you really wish om a star? MR. LAMBCHOP Of course you can. That's what stars are for. ARTHUR I thought stars were giant balls of 028, burning in galaxies thousands of light years away, providing heat for planets, the sun! STANLEY Stars are where Luke Skywalker bi: death stars out of the sky! imitating the sound of a lightsaber) Zwoom, Zwoom, Zwoom! ARTHUR And then, Harry Potter shows up and casts a spell! Obliviate! MR. LAMBCHOP. Lightsabers and wands away — MRS. LAMBCHOP Even Luke and Harry need their rest. MR. LAMBCHOP Good night, boys. (MR. and MRS. LAMBCHOP cross to exit the room.) ARTHUR Dad? MR. LAMBCHOP What is it, Arthur?Tue Musical ADVENTURES OF FLAT STANLEY TYA ARTHUR ‘Will you leave the nightlight on? MR. LAMBCHOP Weill leave the night-light on. Now get some sleep. MRS. LAMBCHOP You boys have school in the morning... (MR, and MRS, LAMBCHOP exit, and turn out the lights. A night-light projects clouds om the walls while moonlight shines through the window.) STANLEY Psst. Arthur, You asleep? ARTHUR No. Not yet. STANLEY What would you wish for if you could wish on a falling star? ARTHUR Td wish for an "A’ on my science test tomorrow. STANLEY That's it? That's the best you can think of? ARTHUR 1 guess 0. What would you wish for? STANLEY i Td wish to do something amazing, be someone cool. Like... well. WHAT IF [COULD BE A WIZARD? WHAT IF I COULD DO A MAGIC SPELL? WHAT IF I WERE IN A CASTLE HANGING OUT WITH GHOSTS AND FLYING! AND WHAT IF | COULD TELL. EVRYONE AT SCHOOL I'M MAGIC THINK OF ALL THE PEOPLE I COULD SAVE FLYING ON A BROOM TO INFINITY AND BEYOND! CAUSE IF 1 HAD A WAND I COULD BE BRAVE=#= Tue Musicar Apventures of Frat Straniey TYA WISH 1 WERE A HERO. ANDI COULD HAVE AN ADVENTURE SO WHEN I SEE THERE'S EVIL, 1 COULD INTERVENE DO SOMETHING NO ONE'S EVER SEEN BEFORE, 1 WISH 1 WERE ‘TAKING ON VOLDEMORT 1 WISH I WERE HAVING A DUEL 1'D POINT MY WAND AND SAY ‘OBLIVIATE!" AND DODGE! My WAND... LOOK OUTI... "EXPELLIARMUS!" AND HERE COMES "REDUCTO!" *CONFUNDUS"" "EXPECTO PATRONUM" SPELL AFTER SPELL AFTER SPELL "TILT GOT HIM FOR SURE ARTHUR But you're not Harry Potter. STANLEY BUTI WISH I WERE. A WHOO-HOO-HOO A WHOO-HOO-HOO ‘A WHOO-HOO-HOO ARTHUR, That's silly. Wizards aren't real. STANLEY But it would be amazing! ARTHUR So would being a Jedi Knight in Star Wars, but it's just a movie. STANLEY WHAT IF 1 COULD BE A JEDI ARTHUR STANLEY WHAT IF I COULD FLY IN OUTER SPACE? WHAT IF I'M A SPACESHIP PILOTTue Musicat ADVENTURES OF Frat Stantty TYA ARTHUR You could be that I guess, STANLEY AND I'M CAUGHT UP IN A HIGH SPEED CHASE AND EVRYONE AT SCHOOL'D BE CHEERING ‘CAUSE JEDIS HAVE A PURPOSE AND PEOPLE TO SAVE ARTHUR, WOULD YOU HAVE A LIGHTSABER? STANLEY A LIGHTSABER, OF COURSE! AND IF USE THE FORCE I COULD BE BRAVE 1 WISH I WERE A HERO AND I COULD HAVE AN ADVENTURE SO WHEN I SEE THERE'S EVIL ARTHUR YOU COULD INTERVENE BOTH DO SOMETHING NO ONE'S EVER SEEN BEFORE ARTHUR 1 WISH I WERE FIGHTING DARTH VADER STANLEY 1 WISH I WERE USING THE FORCE WITH MY LIGHTSABER I'D APPROACH AND DUCK! MY LIGHTSABER ARTHUR LOOK OUT! HE'S COMING BACK! STANLEY HE WOULD TAKE THAT! ARTHUR AND TAKE THIS!Tue Musicar Avvenrunes oF Frat Staniey TYA BOTH AND TAKE THAT VADER! SWING AFTER SWING AFTER SWING "TIL THE SWINGS WERE A BLUR MRS. LAMBCHOP (offstage) Boys! (ARTHUR builds a fort out of his comforter.) ARTHUR 1 WISH 1 COULD INVENT THINGS STANLEY YOU WISH YOU COULD INVENT THINGS? ARTHUR 1 WISH I COULD INVENT THINGS! STANLEY ‘YOU WISH YOU COULD INVENT THINGS? ARTHUR IWISH 1 COULD INVENT A ROBOT DOG STANLEY THEN INVENT A ROBOT DOG! BOTH ‘THAT NO ONE'S EVER SEEN BEFORE STANLEY JUST KICKIN’ IT WITH YOUR ROBOT DOG ARTHUR JUST KICKIN’ IT WITH MY ROBOT DOG 1 WISH 1 WERE TAKING ON VOLDEMORT. STANLEY 1WISH I WERE FIGHTING DARTH VADER BOTH 1 WISH [ WERE KICKIN’ IT WITH A ROBOT DOG.© Tne Musreau Apvenrures of Far STANLEY TYA 1 WISH I WERE STANLEY If Thad a star wish, I'd wish for something amazing like that! ARTHUR But there's already a Harry Potter and a Luke Skywalker. STANLEY So I'll do something different, something amazing that the world's never seen before! (Lights flash as STANLEY and ARTHUR witness a filling star.) ARTHUR Stanley, look! A falling star! Make your wish! (STANLEY and ARTHUR watch the star fall.) STANLEY wish to travel the world, doing amazing things the world’s never seen before! (The room becomes cali and quiet.) ARTHUR (whispering) Stanley, your dream is going to come true. STANLEY How long do you think it will take? ARTHUR Maybe it’s like Santa or the Tooth Fairy, and you have to go to sleep first. STANLEY Probably. ARTHUR You're cool, Stanley. (ARTHUR yacons.) I'm pretty sleepy STANLEY Go to sleep, Arthur. (ARTHUR crmols into bed.) ARTHUR Night, Stanley. (STANLEY sits up in bed, he's thinking. ARTHUR falls asleep.)Tur Musicat Apventuges of FLat Stantey TYA as ~ STANLEY TWISH I WERE A HERO AND I COULD HAVE AN ADVENTURE WHEN THERE'S EVIL I COULD INTERVENE DO SOMETHING NO ONE'S EVER SEEN BEFORE MR. LAMBCHOP (offstage) Stanley, to bed, please. 3 STANLEY BUT I WISH I WERE o A-WHOO HOO-HOO A-WHOO HOO-HOO A-WHOO HOO-HOO A-WHOO HOO. (Blackout.) BULLETIN BOARD Stanley! Staaaaaanley! a STANLEY = Who's talking? BULLETIN BOARD o— Psst, check out the bulletin board lil’ britches. s (STANLEY looks at the bulletin board. It glows brightly with taoo eyes and a mouth.) STANLEY —_ What's going on! a (STANLEY falls out of bed.) BULLETIN BOARD I'm here to make your wish come true.Tue Musican ADVENTURES OF FLAT STANLEY TYA STANLEY This has gotta be a dream. BULLETIN BOARD Did you make a wish on a falling star? STANLEY did. BULLETIN BOARD ‘And do you want that wish to come true, no matter what? STANLEY I don't know. BULLETIN BOARD Pick up the pace, sour face! You want this wish no matter what? STANLEY I think so... BULLETIN BOARD Then let's review! You wanna travel the world, do something amazing, something the world's never seen before, no matter what! STANLEY Is that possible? BULLETIN BOARD Totally possible. Now... how best to do it? Magic carpet? Naw, too obvious. Nose that grows when he lies? That's just creepy. Oh, I got it. Yeah... that's flat out fun. STANLEY Uh, talking-bulletin-board-fairy-santa-thingy...I got school in the morning, Dream BULLETIN BOARD Dream over. (STANLEY climbs into bed.) BULLETIN BOARD Sleep tight, or should I say... flat. (The lights dim on the BULLETIN BOARD.)Tae Musicat Apventuges oF Frat Srantey TYA STANLEY Sleep flat. What's that supposed to mean? (HE yawns.) What a crazy night. (STANLEY falls asleep.) BULLETIN BOARD STANLEY LAMBCHOP FAST ASLEEP! ‘TIME TO MAKE YOUR WISH COMPLETE A FLASH OF LIGH’ A SUDDEN FALL! YOU'LL WAKE UP THIN AND EXTRA TALL! BULLETIN BOARD BY THE LIGHT OF ORION AND BY THE FALLING STAR YOUR WISH MAY NOW COME TRUE! (Music builds. Lights swirl and flash dramatically. Suddenly the bulletin board crashes down upon Stanley. Black out.) (Lights up slowly on ARTHUR who's sitting up in bed.) ARTHUR Stanley? What was that noise? (A beat.) Stanley! Psst Stanley! Oh... [need my glasses... where are my glasses? Oh! Here they are... Now a weapon... Slinky? Slingshot? No; lightsaber! On... where's my lightsaber? (ARTHUR searches for his lightsaber. HE finds it next to his bed.) Oh, here it ist Please let the batteries be good, please let the batteries be good.. (HE turns on the lightsaber.) Whoever or whatever made that noise, you'd better know I've got my lightsaber drawn and I'm not afraid to use it.Tue Musicat Apvenrures oF Frar Stavuey TYA (ARTHUR creeps up to Stanley's bed. A beat. HE screams in a sneak attack combo Jedi {onight meets judo jump kick, trying to scare whatever or whoever made the noise.) BAAAAAAAAAAAAAL (ARTHUR swings his lightsaber wildly, searing himself silly.) Stanley? (pointing at the fallen bulletin board) Oh-oh. STANLEY! Mom! Dad! Hey, come here! Hey! quick! (MR. and MRS, LAMBCHOP enter, turning on the light.) MR. LAMBCHOP What is it Arthur? ARTHUR Hey, I think Stanley's in trouble! MRS. LAMBCHOP Hay is for horses, Arthur, please try to remember that, ARTHUR Ok;-but look! The bulletin board fell on Stanley. MRS. LAMBCHOP The bulletin board? MR. LAMBCHOP The bulletin board?! MR. AND MRS. LAMBCHOP Stanley! (All three run to Stanley's bed.) MR. LAMBCHOP Help me lift—on three. One! Two! Three! (THEY lift the bulletin board, STANLEY is under the covers.) (STANLEY sits up in bed. Holding the blanket around him, HE stands up and walks fouoards the family. HE drops the blanket revealing that HE is flat!) MRS. LAMBCHOP OH, DEAR! MR. LAMBCHOP OH, MY!Tut Musicat Apventures oF Frat Sraytey TYA ARTHUR STANLEY MRS. LAMBCHOP Is JUST THAT— MR. LAMBCHOP BREAK IT TO HIM SLOWLY, DEAR. STANLEY WHATS GOING ON? MRS. LAMBCHOP WELL IT SEEMS— MR. LAMBCHOP YOU'VE UH-WELL ARTHUR YOU'RE FLAT STANLEY TM WHAT? ALL THREE YOU'RE FLAT! STANLEY UM FLAT? MRS. LAMBCHOP LIKE A PANCAKE! MR. LAMBCHOP LIKE A WHEAT THIN! ARTHUR LIKE THE WORLD... BEFORE COLUMBUS. MRS. LAMBCHOP NOW THERE'S NO NEED TO PANIC, 1'M SURE THIS SORT OF THING HAPPENS ALL THE TIME. ARTHUR NO IT DOESN'T,Tue Musican ADVENTURES OF Fear StaNtey TYA MR. LAMBCHOP Sure it does, son. Doesn't it, dear? MRS. LAMBCHOP OF course it does... it'll probably just... go away. Like a bad cold. Why don't we. have breakfast? Yes! Let's have breakfast! You boys get ready for school, and I'l make breakfast MR. LAMBCHOP You heard your mother, now hurry along. MRS. LAMBCHOP Brush your teeth, And don't forget to flat. I mean floss! (The BOYS exit. MR. and MRS. LAMBCHOP cross downstage.) SCENE 2 FLATCAKES FOR BREAKFAST MRS. LAMBCHOP 1 KNOW WHAT To DO. WITH SNIFFLES OR THE FLU- MR. LAMBCHOP YOU MAKE SOME SOUP YOU GRILL SOME CHEESE MRS. LAMBCHOP ‘THEY GET BETTER MR. LAMBCHOP (OF COURSE THEY DO BUT THIS IS SOMETHING DIFFERENT 1GOTTA TIP MY HAT MRS. LAMBCHOP INEVER THOUGHT I'D WAKE ONE DAY TO FIND MR. AND MRS. LAMBCHOP MY CHILD IS FLAT! EXCEPT HIS FINGERS EXCEPT HIS TOES. OUR CHILD IS FLAT! EXCEPT HIS HAIR, AND EXCEPT HIS NOSE.