Recipes of Love

My idea is rooted from the Stanberg’s Triangular theory of love which states that there are 3
elements of love. Attraction, Intimacy and Commitment. Many have been in love and have been
in lots of relationships but still puzzled as to how and when love happens. It is simple actually, it
becomes complex when we get confused along the way.

Excitement- excitement is a feeling that is temporary but is needed to propel the “stage” or
level of a possible romantic relationship. The other term for this is what they call “SPARK” we
can compare this to a lit of fire which is needed to make a dynamite explode, or a rocket ship to
fly. In other words it’s like a driving force that is needed to start something Excitement is when
you are eager to discover something new about the person, It is the period where you are very
interested in knowing personal things about him or her. It is also that part of dating where several
thoughts comes to your mind when you think of that person. Thoughts like “does she like me
too?, do I make her flutter? Do we look good together?” in other words this is when you are
ASSUMING or fantasizing. If you don’t feel excitement towards a person, you won’t have that
“MOTIVATION” to continue pursuing that person. Analogy (Why do people loves to ride a
roller coaster even If it’s scary or somewhat dangerous? Because It is exciting” the same goes in
love. You would take risk, even if there’s a chance that it will not work out and you might get
hurt. Because It’s exciting. You are eager to know how it will turn out.

Synonymous to the feeling of excitement is the “THRILL” Thrill and excitement goes hand in
hand. But thrill is a little bit more intense feeling. It’s the feeling of being teased or being
challenged by the person you are pursuing. It’s the joy you feel while chasing that person that
you are hoping to start a romantic relationship with. As for me I feel that there’s a thrill when
the person I like disagrees with me a lot and is more intelligent than I am. I feel there’s a thrill
when she is isn’t always sweet to me but doesn’t fail to show what I mean to her. A person who
can be sweet, kind and gentle but can also be naughty and knows how to spice things up. Thrill
is the opposite of boring. Most of the time, this feeling is present in the course of the dating and ”
getting to know each other” part. But this isn’t always an essential recipe. Some people became
lovers without feeling thrills on each other.

Comfortable- If you like to be in a relationship with someone, you must see to it that the person
feels comfortable whenever she is around you. You must create a comfortable environment for
her so that she can share things that she may want to keep with herself to you. You can tell that a
person is comfortable with you when she often opens up to you about what’s on her mind.
Because she feels that you are safe, harmless and she has built that TRUST to you. When you
can make a girl open up her mind to you, she might open her heart to you too. (Note that this is
not always true)

Closeness and ATTACHMENT- is built through time spent with each other. It is defined by
those memories you’ve had together. Once developed, you began to MISS the person whenever
he or she is not around. You crave for the person’s ATTENTION. It’s as if your day is
incomplete without hearing from that special person. Once you are attached with someone that
person becomes a necessity for you. And having the need to part ways with that person will
surely cause you to feel lonely.

ATTRACTION- a girl can be attracted to you for many different reasons some of these are:

Looks, humor, intelligence, wealth, ability, or some other traits

This feeling is what they refer to as the feeling that is” involuntary” It’s that feeling that you just
felt for some reason and cannot be explained. This is impulsive, a person can be attracted to you
right away after he or she sees you for the first time. Or it might take some time for the person to
find you “attractive” but we just feel this feeling unconsciously. In fact, sometimes you don’t
have to do anything to attract a person. Because a person who gets attracted to you will notice
you and will be impressed to you even if you don’t intend to. Even if you don’t exert a great
amount of effort to be appreciated, you will be appreciated by that person who finds you
attractive.

EROTIC or sexual attraction.

KILIG/FLUTTER- can be achieved by:

Compliments, bola, banat, sweet messages, sweet gestures. This only works when a person is “
ATTRACTED” to you. A person who is not attracted to you at all will find these gestures as
simple “kindness” or literally a compliment to them. They won’t feel anything romantic because
it’s something that they didn’t asked for. On the other hand, a person who is attracted to you will
find these gestures as confirmation, a validation of what they want you to feel towards them. For
them it’s a necessity, and It’s something they asked for (even though they don’t vocally say or
admit it) they appreciate it.