Acknowledgement

I am deeply grateful to Mr Tran Huy Phuong, of Hanoi University of Foreign Studies for his
valuable instruction, corection, comment and assitance during the development of my report.

I would like to give a big thank to the English Department for giving me an opportunity and
encouragement to complete my research.

Finally I also would like to convey my thanks to all of my friends for their help.

Content
Introduction.

Part 1: Similarities in wedding customs of Vietnam and England

1. Introduce the situation.

2. Engagement.

3. Wedding ceremony.

4. Early wedding traditions in the past.

Part 2: Differences in wedding customs of Vietnam and England .

1. Preparation for wedding ceremony.

1.1. In Vietnam

1.2. In England

2. After the wedding ceremony.

2.1. In Vietnam

2.2. In England

3. Other differences.

3.1. The customs of inviting guests

3.2. Organization of wedding

3.3. The process of a wedding ceremony

3.4. Other things

3.4.1. Wedding attire

3.4.2. Colour used in wedding

3.4.3. Veils

3.4.4. Wedding cakes

3.4.5. Wedding gifts

3.4.6. Flower power

3.4.7. Rice

Purpose :

To help students to understand more about culture of England and Vietnam in oder to exchange
good things.

References

Introduction

Each country in the world has its own traditional customs because of diffrences in culture. People
who like discovering traditions and customs of other countries find it hard to concentrate on the
whole matter at a same time. Therefore we should mention one custom individually, then analize it.

“Wedding customs” is an interesting topic. It attracts much care of young pepole. Wedding is very
important to one’s life, not only to the couple involved but also for both families. Thus, it usually
includes quite a few formal ritual observances. The process of wedding in Vietnam (an Asian
country) and England (a Western country) is different from each other. This research will bring to
you common knowledge about wedding customs in the two countries above.

As a second year student of English department, I really want to find path to the English culture,
especially the wedding customs. In order to learn English effectively, students had better
understand English people and their culture.

The research aims at :

- Helping Vietnamese or English learners in common and the youth in particular distinguish the
different feature in wedding customs between two cultures.

- Giving useful information and illustrations to help Vietnamese who are interested in the English
culture or now are living there know how a wedding is organized. And also help English people
understand Vietnam wedding traditions.

To complete this report, I asked my parents for their experience of wedding and get other sources
from books, magazines, internet, etc. I do hope that my report will provide you some basic
knowledge about English and Vietnamese wedding customs. And we can exchange suitable and
good customs of our own culture .

Part 1
Similarities in wedding customs of VietNam and England .

In every nation, a wedding is organized with many formal ritual observances. Vietnamese and
English both have engagement and wedding ceremony in marriage arrangerment. However,
engagement and wedding ceremony are completely different in detail.

I. Early wedding traditions

As early as the sixteenth, up to the nineteenth century, marriages in Vietnam and England were
arranged by parents or guardians. The bride and bridegroom often were not acquainted until their
marriage. The parents often made the marriage arrangements and betrothals while the bride and
bridegroom were small children (age three to seven ). The children would continue to live with
their own parents and meet from time to time for meals or holiday celebrations.

These prearranged marriages came under fire in the late seventeenth century when a judge held that
betrothals and marriages prior the age of seven “utterly void”. However, they would be valid if,
after the age of seven , the children called each husband and wife, embraced, kissed each other,
gave and recieved Gift of Token.

II. Engagement.

1. In Vietnam

The groom’s family and relatives go to bride’s house. They bring about three or twelve trays (It
depends on the finance of the groom’s family) that contain betel leaves and areca nuts , wines,
cigarettes, etc. People who hold the trays all wear traditional dress ao dai , normally red ao dai
because red is a symbol of happiness . The groom’s parents ask for permisson for their son to get
marriage .

In the engagement , two families discussed the date of marriage very carefully. Vietnamese
consider that suitable time and date of wedding affect much their future.

2. In England

Before wedding , bride and groom organize a party as an engagement party. Families, relatives,
friends of bride and groom join together, they are witnesses of the coming marriage. The couple
then give reasons of the party to guest. They exchange rings and cut the cake.

The original purpose for an engagement ring was a sign that a woman was purchased and belonged
to the groom to be. The first people to use rings in a romantic way were the French. In the sixteenth
century they used gimmal rings. These rings are intertwined, but had a little slit in the gold so that
during the engagement each person wore one of the rings. Gradually, English find it interesting and
follow that.

III. Wedding ceremony.

1. In Vietnam

On the wedding day, the groom’s family and relatives go to the bride’s house bringing a lot of gifts
wrapped in red papers. These gifts are similar to those of the engagement: betel leaves and areca
nuts, liquor, fruits, cakes, tea...Those who carry these trays are also carefully chosen, usually they
are happily married. Women are all dressed in ao dai. Men could be in their suit or men traditional
costume. The procession usually led by a couple that is most wealthy and successful among the
relatives, this mean to wish the to – be – wed couples a blessing life together in the future.

The groom’s family would stop in the font of the bride’s house. The leading couple should enter
the house first bringing a tray with liquor and tiny cups on it. They would invite the bride’s parents
to take the toast. By accepting a sip, the bride’s family agree for the groom family to enter their
house.
The groom’s family would introduce themselves and ask permisson for their son to marry his bride.
The master of the ceremony (usually a respected person among the bride’s relatives) instruct the
bride’s parents to present their daughter. The bride then follow her parents out. She is in
Vietnammese traditional wedding ao dai which is usually in red. Followed are her bride maids. The
wedding ceremony starts in front of the altar. The bride and the groom would kneel down and pray,
asking their ancestors’ permission to be married, also asking for blessing on their family – to – be.
The couple then turn around and bow hands to the bride’s parents to say thank raising and
protecting her since birth. They then bow their head to each other, which means to show their
gratitude and respect toward their soon to be husband or wife. The master of the ceremony would
give the wedding couple advices on starting a new family. The groom and the bride’s parents
would take turn to share their experience and give blessing. The groom and the bride then
exchange their wedding rings. The groom’s parents will give the newly wed valuable gifts such as
golden bracelets, ear rings, necklace...as dowry. The ceremony is ended with around applause.

Today, a lot of Vietnamese couples have their wedding ceremony done in chuches which is very
much similar to American and Western style, including exchanging vows and wedding rings.
However, they still maintain Vietnamese traditional ceremony in the bride’s home before heading
to the churches.

A wedding banquet is scheduled in the evening at a hotel or a big restaurant. It is always a delight
feast that all relatives, friend, and neighbors are invite. A music band is usually hired to play live
songs.

At the banquet, the groom, bride, and their family are once again introduces to the guests and
everyone will drink a toast. Dinner will be served at the tables.

During the reception, the groom, bride, and their parents will stop by each table to say thank to
their guests. The guest in return, will give envelopes containing wedding cards and money gifts to
the newly wedded couples along with their blessing. A lot of wedding nowadays are followed by a
dancing party, which is opened by the groom and the bride’s first dance. The party does not recess
until very late at night. The newly wedded couples then leaves for their honey moon.

In England ( Common ceremony structure )

Unlike the wedding ceremony in Vietnam . The key element utilized in most Western wedding
ceremonies, in their most common order, are :

Introduction, Opening, or Invocation

In which the officiant typically announces the purpose of the gathering, indiacates the names of the
bride and groom, welcome the guests and solicits them to participate in the ceremony by their
presence and, perhaps, their prayer.

Main body
In which the offciant ruminates on the meaning of the marriage and the significance of the bride
and groom’s decision to join together in the wedlock. The officiant may also share more casual
remarks about the bride and groom as he or she has come to know them, and about the fitness of
their union. The portion of the ceremony might also include religious or other readings by the
officiant or by other person who have been asked by the bride and groom to speak.

The Main Body is sometimes divided into the Interrogation and the presentation (either may come
first). The Interrogation specifically refers to the officiant asking the couple if they come of their
own free will to marry; It may also include the officiant asking the potentially show stopping
question, “If anyone has just cause why these two may not wed, speak now , or forever hold your
peace.” (With any luck your ceremony will be peaceful). The Presentation is when the bride, or the
bride and groom, are presented for marriage by their parents (The familiar, “Who gives this
woman”).

Introduction to the Vows

In which the officiant expalains the significance of the vows which the couple are going to
exchange.

Vows
In which the bride and groom individually affirm their commitment to one another, in response to
questions posed by the officiant; the response usually take the form of “I do” or “I will”. In the
Western Christian tradition, this is the point at which the are officially married.

Exchange of Rings
In which the couple, usually reapeating phrases at the officiant’s direction, declare their
commitment to one another and place a wedding ring on the hand of their betrothed. In the Western
Jewish tradition, this is the point at which they are officially married.

Closing / Announcement of the Couple

In which the officiant announces that the couple is officially wed. This may also include a final
prayer or benediction, the officiant indicating that the groom may “kiss the bride” and / or the
officiant “ introducing” the newly married couple to the guests.

The ceremonial order is usually preceded by a processional, in which the wedding party members
enter the ceremonial location, and is followed by a recessional , in which they exit.

Part 2

Differences in wedding customs of Vietnam and England .

I. Preparation for wedding ceremony

1. In Vietnam

Preparation takes such a long time, normally wedding is arranged at home. Houses of the bride and
groom are well decorated with ribbons, flowers, etc. The atmosphere is full of music and
happiness. Some days before the wedding, the couple go to try wedding attire on. Nowadays,
Vietnamese brides often choose white dress instead of traditional dress Ao Dai. After that invitation
cards will be given to each guest with betel leaves, areca nuts and cakes.

Just before the wedding ceremony, the groom’s family decorate vehicles with flowers as their
responbility is to go and pick up the bride from her home. The couple need to make up and dress
well, they all want to become the most attractive people in their wedding.

2. In England

a. Wedding attire.

Bridal gowns are less ornate that the traditional Western style dress. Anything fancy would require
a special trip to a major city and be very expensive. Brides rarely kept their gowns for their
daughters; they either sold them or had the fabric used to make their first child’s Christeninggown.
Wear “something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue, and a lucky
sixpence in your shoe”, as in the old English rhyme.
It’s different from that in Vietnam . Nowadays, Vietnamese brides often choose white dress instead
of traditional dress ao dai because white is symbol of innocence, purity and the dress makes them
to become the most beautiful person on her wedding day. In fact, white long dress were first
designed and worn in western countries but now becomes popular in Vietnam .

Today, it is the custom to have many young bridesmaid instead af adult attendants. The bride pays
her attendant’s outfits. The bridegroom rarely wears a tuxedo – only at very large, formal wedding.
Business suits are normal. The bridegroom has a best man, who also wears a business suit. The
mother of the bride and the mother of the bridegroom never confer on outfit color, nor do they take
into consideration the bridesmaid colors.

b. Ceremony location.

The bride and groom of Vietnam normally choose their house for the location of their wedding.
The reason is that Vietnamese consider houses are very important to one’s life as a person was born
and grew up there. Thus, they like spending the most important time of their life (wedding) at
home. In these years, Vietnamese have tendency of organizing weddings in hotels. It’s a result of
many causes such as their house is not big enough, wealthy people like luxurions hotels more than
homes, etc.

In contrast, English have some common rules to follow.

The Natural. One good rule of ceremony site decor is to let nature speak to itself. So if your
ceremony will be held on a bluff above the crashing surf with the sunset behind you, you won’t
need many swags of tulle and ribbons to embellish the locate. One couple was married outdoors in
England in view of a stately lighthouse, and that in itself was enough for ceremony ambience. Still,
a little decor in an outdoor setting can go along way. In one apple orchard ceremony, the bride and
groom wanted to impart an informal feel to their big day. Guests gathered round the couple as they
recited their vows, a bed of scattered dried leaves and wildflowers were underfoot. The informal,
natural atmosphere was felt by all. In another ceremony on the beach, the bride and groomstood
under a canopy made of curly willow and lace moss with seashells and starfish scattered
throughout. It was just the right touch to the embellish the windswept, beachy – feel of the
moment.

Places of Worship. If wedding ceremony will be held in a house of worship, a church or a

synagogue, find out if there are any rules regarding ceremony decorations. Many places of worship
do have rules governing what can and cannot be used to decorate, when decorating can be done
and when it should be taken away. Most houses of worship have a staff member who can brief the
bride and groom.

Row, Row, Row. Bows are a wonderful way to mark the rowor pews at wedding ceremony site.
Riboons of al types can be used. Try using French wired ribbons which make excellent bows, or go
with satin ribbons. Although white or ivory clored bows are traditional, almost any color can be
used. Use colors to complement the bridemaid’s dreeses, bouquets and floral arrangements. Or
think of the season in which ceremony wiil be held. Pastels are great for spring or summer decor;
red velvet bows work well for a winter or holiday – themed wedding. Rows can also be marked
with garlands, small floral arrengements or rose topiaries. At a wedding in a backyard full of ivy,
row were linked with ivy vines. Try marking rows with slender candles im hurricane lamp,
especially if the room will be dim or the ceremony is outdoors in the evening. Swags of fabric can
be used between the roesto add impact. Tulle is a popular choice, but other fabrics work well, too.
An airy organza – like fabric looks beautiful.
Bright Light . The right lighting can create a certain mood at wedding ceremony. Check out the site
at the time of wedding day and assess the light. Consider hiring a light specialist to come up with a
lighting scheme that gives the room the ambience the couple want to convey. Make sure that the
lighting chosen complies with any rules or building codes ceremony site may have. Try using
diffused lighting for a softly- lit feel in the room. Pin spot can light up the area where bride and
groom will be married, such as the huppah ( wedding canopy ) in a Jewish wedding. But make sure
the lights aren’t too hot. Have a licensed electrician install the light so there doesn’t have any
unforeseen power outages.

That Certain Glow . Candles can indeed add a touch of romance to the ceremony. Candles serve to
personalize a space and give it a spiritual feel. A hotel ballroom can become a more intimate space
with lit candelabras in front, where the ceremony will take place. Candles are also affordable
lighting sources and will save and will save a big electrician’s bill. The only concern about candles
is safety, so make sure they are enclosed in vases or lanterns if they will be scattered about at
ceremony site.

c. Wedding cake.

In medieval England , guests brought small cakes and piled them in the center of a table,
challenging the bride and groom to kiss over them. Wedding cakes are less elaborate in design. The
weding cake is a rich fruitcake topped with marzipan; The top tier is called “ christening cake “ to
be save for the birth of the first child. Old fashioned fruitcake dates back to the day before
leavening and sugar.

II. Preparation for wedding ceremony

1. In Vietnam

After wedding, Vietnamese young couple often don’t have honeymoon. The day after in the
morning the new husband and wife visit the bride’s family. They bring buiscuits, sweets, chickens,
sticky rice, etc because bride’s family will use these food to cook meal for all family eat together.
Newly wed couple (now husband and wife) pray their ancestor. If the groom’s house is far from the
bride’s house. young couple can visit their parents – in – law in some days later.

Just after wedding, bride and groom go to their wedding room, they drink a glass of wine together.
At this time, they are offcially become husband and wife.

2. In England

Unlike the traditions of Vietnam , in England there are some typical customs some of which are:

a. Wedding breakfast.

In England , wedding traditionally are at noon ; afterward, there is a seated lucheon, call a wedding
breakfast. The bride and groom dance the first dance but there is no introduction of wedding parties
nor any father/ daughter dance. They do not toss the bouquet or garter.

b. Photographs.

Vietnamese take photograph all the time in their wedding, even when guests are having parties. But
in England , photos are taken outside the church immediately after the ceremony, or inside if it is
raining. While photos are being taken, relatives and close friends present the bride with wedding
souvernirs horsehoes, wooden spoons, rolling pins, all decorated with lace and ribbon.
c. Honeymoon

Newly wedded English couples then leave for their honeymoon. Unlike that, Vietnamese couple
spend honeymoon at home and of course they are free at work that day.

III. Other differences

1. The Place Of Wedding.

Wedding flowers are scattered by a small girl preceding the English bride and her wedding party,
who walk together to the wedding chapel or the weding site. The flowered path and symbolic walk
express hope for the bride’s path though life to be happy and lovely. English bridesmaids wear
wishers, who might curse her for her happiness.

Brides sew a good luck charm, such as the silver horseshoe of royal British brides, to the hem of
their wedding dresses. Old English wedding tradition also calls for the bride to carry a horseshoe,
streaming with ribbons, for good luck.

Mean while, in Vietnam , there’s no path which is covered with flowers. Everythings are simple.

2. Flower Power.

Flower Power. Flowers add color, beauty and subtle fragrance to ceremony site. Floral
arrangements typically adorn the altar, or in Jewish weedings, the bimah (the front of the
synagogue where the ceremony takes place). Choose flowers in a paltette that works with your
floral scheme. Big flowers work well at the altar or bimah because they show up. If the church or
synagogue is dim, make sure the colors chosen for flowres show up as well. It’d better keep the
arrangements simple. You want all eyes on you, not just on the flowers.

Flowers have always been a big feature at Weddings. The groom is supposed to wear a flower that
appears in the Bridal Bouquet in his button – hole. The stems from the Medieval tradition of a
Knight wearing his Ladi’s colours, as a declaration of his love. Each flower has its own meaning
and can display a speacial message. Orange Blossom, for instance, signifies chastity, purity and
loveliness, while red chrysanthemum means “I love you”

The grooms in Vietnam consider that roses are symbol of love so roses are mostly chosen.

3. Rice.

In Vietnam , people don’t use rice throw at bride and groom. However, in England its different,
imagine that you’re a bride. Your guests throw rice at you because rice symbolizes ertility.
Whatever your guest chooses to throw on you can represent that they are showering you with the
good things in life. In Asian throwing rice symbolizes a “full pantry”

4 . Colours.

English find many meaningful definition for colours used in wedding but Vietnamese don’t English
consider that.

Married in white, you have it right

Married in blue, your love is true

Married in pink, your fortune will sink

Married in green, you’ll never be seen

Married in red, you’ll wish you were dead

Married in yellow, ashamed of your fellow

Married in brown, you’ll live out of town

Married in gay, you’ll live far away

Married in black, you’ll wish you were back

5. Representation of each day of the week.

On the other hand, English think that each day of the week has its own meaning.

Monday – Health

Tuesday – Wealth

Wednesday – The Best Day

Thursday – Brings Crosses

Friday – Losses

Saturday – No Luck At All

And to think, everyone gets married on the weakend. Hope you enjoy these tries and true traditions

6. Choose the time.

That date of weddings in Vietnam depends on the age of the bride and groom. They must find out
the most suitable time that suits their age most. Beside that, English people have some comon
knowledge about the time for marriage.

As for the time of year, the saying ‘ Marry in the month of May, and you’ll live to rue the day’
dates back to the pagan tomes. May, the start of summer , was dedicated to outdoor orgies (in the
summer festival Beltane), hardly the best way to begin married life! Qeen Victoria is said that have
banned her children from marrying in May, and Nineteenth Century Vicars were rushed of their
feeton April 30th because Brides refused to marry during May. The sun has alway been associated
with sexual stimulation and, therefore future fertility. In Scotland it was traditional for the Bride to
‘walk with the sun’, proceeding from east to west on the south side of the church and then circling
the Church three times ‘sunwise’ for good luck.

Married when the year is new, he’ll be loving, kind and true, when February birds to mate, you
wed nor dread your fate. If you wed when March winds blow, joy and sorrow both you’ll know.
marry in April when you can, joy for Maiden and for man. Marry in the month of May, and you’ll
surely rue the day. Marry when June roses grow, over land and sea you’ll go. Those in July do wed,
must labour for their daily bred. Whoever wed in August be, many a change is sure to see Marry in
September’s shrine, your living will be rich and fine. If in October you do marry, love will come
but rich tarry. If you wed in bleak November, only joys will come, remember. When December
snows fall fast, marry and true love.

references

1. Nha xuat ban van hoa dan toc Hanoi (Ha noi – 1999). Dang Van Lung – Nguyen Song Thao –
Hoang Van Tru. Phong tục tập quán các dân tộc Việt Nam .

2. J. Michel Bennett and Mc Graw Hill. 1991. For Powers of Communication (Skills for effective
learning).

3. Special English magazine N039 . Publication Thanh Nien.

4. Http://www.wedding channel.com