Koalas are fucking horrible animals.

They have one of the smallest brain to body ratios of any

mammal, additionally - their brains are smooth. A brain is folded to increase the surface area for
neurons. If you present a koala with leaves plucked from a branch, laid on a flat surface, the
koala will not recognise it as food. They are too thick to adapt their feeding behaviour to cope
with change. In a room full of potential food, they can literally starve to death. This is not the
token of an animal that is winning at life. Speaking of stupidity and food, one of the likely reasons
for their primitive brains is the fact that additionally to being poisonous, eucalyptus leaves (the
only thing they eat) have almost no nutritional value. They can't afford the extra energy to think,
they sleep more than 80% of their fucking lives. When they are awake all they do is eat, shit and
occasionally scream like fucking satan. Because eucalyptus leaves hold such little nutritional
value, koalas have to ferment the leaves in their guts for days on end. Unlike their brains, they
have the largest hind gut to body ratio of any mammal. Many herbivorous mammals have
adaptations to cope with harsh plant life taking its toll on their teeth, rodents for instance have
teeth that never stop growing, some animals only have teeth on their lower jaw, grinding plant
matter on bony plates in the tops of their mouths, others have enlarged molars that distribute the
wear and break down plant matter more efficiently... Koalas are no exception, when their teeth
erode down to nothing, they resolve the situation by starving to death, because they're fucking
terrible animals. Being mammals, koalas raise their joeys on milk (admittedly, one of the lowest
milk yields to body ratio... There's a trend here). When the young joey needs to transition from
rich, nourishing substances like milk, to eucalyptus (a plant that seems to be making it
abundantly clear that it doesn't want to be eaten), it finds it does not have the necessary gut flora
to digest the leaves. To remedy this, the young joey begins nuzzling its mother's anus until she
leaks a little diarrhoea (actually fecal pap, slightly less digested), which he then proceeds to slurp
on. This partially digested plant matter gives him just what he needs to start developing his
digestive system. Of course, he may not even have needed to bother nuzzling his mother. She
may have been suffering from incontinence. Why? Because koalas are riddled with chlamydia. In
some areas the infection rate is 80% or higher. This statistic isn't helped by the fact that one of
the few other activities koalas will spend their precious energy on is rape. Despite being
seasonal breeders, males seem to either not know or care, and will simply overpower a female
regardless of whether she is ovulating. If she fights back, he may drag them both out of the tree,
which brings us full circle back to the brain: Koalas have a higher than average quantity of
cerebrospinal fluid in their brains. This is to protect their brains from injury... should they fall from
a tree. An animal so thick it has its own little built in special ed helmet. I fucking hate them.
Tldr; Koalas are stupid, leaky, STI riddled sex offenders. But, hey. They look cute. If you ignore
the terrifying snake eyes and terrifying feet.