Chris Ronoel A.

Aying Eulogy 01/03/20

Here comes the sun of temptation or is it just an exaggeration behind my addiction.
That lifts me up honestly, when in times I feel the world as a shallow place for my hopes
cornered by these verges of empty and bland walls. It felt like a surge of energy that is always
telling me on what to do without my consciousness aware of. I felt like there is something
that is manipulating my actions that would crave for Dota. The happiness is unprecedented at
my own current state of understanding; so that’s why it felt like it’s the only thing that is
saving me from my intricate mood of getting tired on life. I would always smile making my
way into the computer shop, as I would always step on the road getting out from the tricycle,
the world around me feels like heaven as that the same feeling when a stranded man in an
ocean would make its way stepping on an island. From Hours and hours spent completely
without purpose, Days and days wasted without realizing I could have used the time on
something productive and meaningful. I would always ask myself where I am at that time.
Why I was lost? Like that very man in the ocean, little didn’t I know I was lucid from my
own understanding that the island I was looking for is a dead end if I kept sailing.

I wanted to get out, so I changed my route. From the depths of a wide journey without
looking back at Dota was hard. The temptation of that very game would always get into my
head. Row and row I kept rowing with nothing to look back just to get me out on this
madness. It felt like they were chasing me, the urge to play the game kept reminding me to go
back because it was the only thing that made me find my own happiness. I used references to
fight the urge of getting to play again as I was on this road a long time ago when I nearly quit.
I could remember the story behind my Tito as he was also a player of the game where he felt
he had ruled the entire concept and culture being one of the greats locally. Until he met the
downfall and the dead end of that very game, he was struggling with his timetable
maintaining the status of his education. And I know that it hit him very hard telling me that
story because of his current situation.

I did my best to escape; I thrived for the best of the best that would make me secure
my own benefits on trying to achieve my dreams. Not to judge from the other people behind
on their passion for the game, but for me I had my own perspective towards my passion. But
what I did learn is that we need to follow our passion, doing whatever we are passionate of
and combining it of what we are good at. But Dota was not the thing for me.

As the game died from my own interests, as I would look back from the moments I
had spent maybe it was all not that bad. Without it I wouldn’t be in this position where what
is important is what I should focus. I wouldn’t also forget the moments shared with my
friends playing the game, all the laughter and smiles with our bond are irreplaceable. It also
did saved me from the depression I had where I couldn’t find purpose in life, as it was the
only thing at my back keeping my state of mind on trying to not give up on life. Thank you
my old friend Dota, it was a pleasure being with you during my darkest time. Thank you for
the happiness and joy you gave that kept my spirit alive. Farewell.