How to Develop Self-Knowledge and Live up

to Your Potential
“If I have to spend any more time as a cog in the wheel – sacrificing my own creativity &
passion to help someone else’s vision come to life – I am going to scream,” I thought staring at
the excel spreadsheet on my screen. At that moment, I gained two essential pieces of self-
knowledge:

Awilda prefers to work for herself & Awilda needs to be engaged in work that she is both
passionate about and stimulates her creativity.

In the milliseconds after this information was received, I had a choice to make: would I reject
this information as a baseless passing thought or would I integrate this new information as self-
knowledge and use it to help change my trajectory?

I chose to accept the information because the realizations were based on the feeling that I was no
longer capable of going on as I had. I knew that was not motivated to continue, and I was
capable of so much more. The self-knowledge I gained in that moment was invaluable.

Self-knowledge is knowledge or understanding of one’s own capabilities, character,

feelings, or motivations. One could also think of self- knowledge as Self-Understanding.

Self-knowledge is the keystone in the arc of success, because success requires intentionality. It is
difficult to be intentional if you don’t have a clear idea of the type of person you are, what you
can do, how you feel, and what motivates you.

Thankfully, every experience and thought you have can provide you with data that gives you an
opportunity to gain more self-knowledge – just like my moment of clarity at the computer.
Nonetheless, there is no doubt that trying to understand yourself can be life’s greatest challenge
because you are both the perceiver and the object being perceived.

Consequently, the idea of actively seeking to attain self-knowledge can be scary and stressful,
especially if you feel disconnected from yourself. Luckily, when the process is broken down into
4 digestible steps, it’s a lot less scary and a lot more like solving a cool personalized puzzle. Here
are the 4 steps to actively attaining more self-knowledge:

Step 1 – Take a Character Inventory

Taking an inventory of your character is the first step. Ask yourself, “What are my distinct
mental and moral qualities?”

Are you quick to anger; are you conservative; do you love easily or are you super guarded?
Perhaps you are incredibly honest, or dedicated to your spiritual beliefs. All of these things
contribute to your character.
If you are not sure about the answers to these questions, examine your lived experiences. You
will find supporting examples that support these character traits among your lived experiences.

Step 2 – Understand What You Can Do

Understanding what you can do is the next rung in the self-knowledge ladder. While you can
always become more capable, having an honest grasp of your current capabilities is critical. You
don’t want to be applying for your dream job knowing that you are unable to actually satisfy the
roles requirements.

If you possess a firm understanding of your strengths and weakness, it will allow you to leverage
your abilities in such a way that you don’t overextend yourself. Additionally, knowing where
you are deficient in your abilities empowers you to proactively seek out the skills necessary to
change that reality.

Step 3 – Feel the Feels

Being able to identify what and why you feel a certain way is an integral part of self-knowledge.
Yet this can be the hardest of all.

Feelings are tricky. They give us a lot of information, but they aren’t always warm and fuzzy.
Spending time getting acquainted with what you feel about various parts of your life will give
you a lot of data. Here again, lived experiences are a fertile ground for supporting evidence that
can help you understand your feelings more clearly.

For example, you may be confused about your feelings around applying to a particular job or
academic program. To get clarity, think about how you feel in the moments associated with this
decision. If you feel anxious and unsure every time you try to submit your application, then your
feelings may be trying to signal that this is not the best decision for you.

Sometimes, feelings give us data we don’t want to accept, even though we know it’s valid and
true. The choice to integrate the information is always yours.

Step 4 – Motivation Matters

The final piece of the self-knowledge puzzle is to understand your motivations. The question
becomes: Why are you doing what you are doing?

Common motivators are: money, prestige, recognition, family obligations, freedom, and personal
fulfillment. You may easily identify with one of those common motivators or you may be
motivated by something completely different like a desire to save the planet or simply to live a
peaceful existence. Freedom, family, and an unshakable desire to help others are what motivate
me.
However, I want to warn you that the first thing that comes to mind when you think of what
motivates you may not be the true source of your motivation. For example, many think money is
what motivates them when in fact, it’s a desire for stability that is their true source of motivation.

Final Thoughts
Once you have taken the time to intentionally collect more data, you get to decide what to do
with it. Will you integrate it and change you trajectory, or ignore it and continue your current
path? Whatever you choose to do will undoubtedly be informed by the information you learned
about yourself form solving the Self-Knowledge Puzzle.

Inevitably, the Self-Knowledge you gained will help to create immense clarity on your life
journey. When you are clear about your character, capabilities, feelings and motivations, it is
easier to create intentional strategies for all around success.

Self-Knowledge puts you on a fast track to success; while a lack of information can cause delays,
distractions and derailments. If you truly know yourself, you have a better chance of confidently
achieving your goals in a timely manner.