I like sex to end with ‘I beg your pardon.

’”— Jon Stewart

(March 2000)
"Except for Barbara Streisand, there's really no one we rip on because we hate them. We really
are just deconstructing stardom."—Trey Parker (with Matt Stone, June 2000)

"It's not at all difficult to lose a game. If you're sloppy in preparation, if you don't pay attention to
detail, if execution is not what it should be, you're going to get beat. Winning is a difficult
proposition. Who among us does everything consistently well?"—Bobby Knight (March 2001)

"I don't have a relationship with God through other people. My relationship with God is between
me and God. I went to a Catholic school and one of the nuns called me a nigger. I couldn't
believe it. I was like, Wow, how did God put her in charge?"—Will Smith (December 2001)

“When is the gay community in the U.S. going to figure it out that they’re never going to be
accepted by most Americans?”—Bill O’Reilly (May 2002)

“I was never the hippest thing around, which means I wasn’t in the position to be replaced by the
next hippest thing. I’m more like old shoes. But I can still whip Sean Connery with one hand tied
behind my back.”—Harrison Ford (August 2002)

“I see no fucking harm in people enjoying each other's

bodies. I've always been a firm believer that casual sex is a
fucking good thing.”—Colin Farrell (March 2003)

“That was one of the few times I did lose my temper. I said, ‘A lot of people think I’m a
murderer. That’s something I’ve got to live with. But if you call anybody an asshole, you’ve got
to be prepared to get bloody.’”—O.J. Simpson (October 2003)

“I’m not celibate, and I do masturbate. But not like a fiend. I believe in moderation.”—Jim
Carrey (March 2004)

“You get comfortable shooting. The first time, you’re scared to death, as scared as the guy
you’re shooting at. Then it grows easier for you. After a while the idea of shooting someone
doesn’t bother you.”—50 Cent (April 2004)

“It’s as if 9/11 were a shot of novocaine into our nation’s moral nerves. It was such a shock that
we still haven’t gotten over it. It has made people indifferent to things that we should be outraged
about.”—Thomas Friedman (September 2005)

“Republicans would love to make this a theocracy and have America be a kind of Taliban state.
But they can do only what they can do, and that leaves room for fuckers like me. I love this
country. I love that I get to talk like this.”—George Carlin (October 2005)
 "I’ve read the Playboy Interview for years, and I never realized that the interviewee got to sleep
with that month’s Playmate. I don’t know why you haven’t told your readers, but it’s great. After
some hesitation, my wife, Franni, thought it would be good publicity for my latest book. This
month’s Playmate is young, but that bothered me for just a minute. Now fire away."—Al
Franken (February 2006)

“I think I might have a problem, a sexual addiction. I have

porn on me at all times.”—Kanye West (March 2006)

"America is full of people who love to pretend to be offended. It's always momentary, and it
always passes. We respond in kind. It's the old Daffy Duck vs. Elmer Fudd thing. If someone
wants to behave like Elmer Fudd, you have to come back at him just the way Daffy Duck would
—with a big mallet."—Matt Groening (June 2007)

“I should have pushed harder for diplomacy. At the time, I thought, I don’t have all the
intelligence; Bush says Saddam has weapons of mass destruction. What happened afterward was
massive incompetence and massive deception.”—Bill Richardson (December 2007)

“Will Ferrell tried to stab me once. It was SNL, so we were all hopped up on goofballs, out of our
minds on quaaludes and horse antibiotics. I remember thinking, This guy’s a genius. It would be
an honor to be killed by him.”—Tina Fey (January 2008)

“There are things I refuse to do. I think I’d draw the line at
porn, but no one has asked.”—Ben Stiller (August 2008)

"Whenever I get to the point where I think things are going too far, I know I have to go there."—
Chuck Palahniuk (May 2009)

"Most of men’s problems with women probably have to do with realizing women are real and
most of them don’t look or act like Vampirella. A big recalibration happens when we’re forced
to deal with real women, and there’s a certain geek population that would much rather deal with
fantasy women than real women. Let’s face it: Real women are complicated. You can try your
whole life and not understand them."—James Cameron (December 2009)