Sam, the night of prom.

Dear Charlie,

I’m writing to you because I know you’ll listen, understand and be there for me no
matter what. I need to write how I feel down so I don’t express it, and do something
too rash. Anyway let’s get a bit more detailed. So I’m sure you saw what happened
last week night, when I ran out crying and Craig stepped out of his room. I’m also
sure you know why, but just in case. He’s been cheating on me, the whole time. Why
do I date people that treat me like trash? Why Charlie? It sucks. Anyway after that I
left and I drove, and kept driving and driving. I wasn’t there because I wasn’t
anywhere. I felt like nothing, the only thing I could think about is why am I here. So I
drove to the bridge, the one through the tunnel. So as I’m going I just think about
going through the tunnel with you and Patrick and I realise that I love you guys too
much. I can’t let you guys go, you’re my family. I haven’t told anyone this by the way,
that I was going to my suicide. But I need to tell you and I don’t know why but I have
to.

Love always,
Sam

After Craig, I don’t know what to do. I’m wrapped up in my head. Stuck in the
present not able to move forward, only backwards. Then everything leads to you
Charlie, all my thoughts, feelings, just everything. You’ve always been there, but on
the wall. Always looking in, and I don’t know why. Why didn’t you ask me out? Why
did you let Patrick kiss you? Why weren’t you honest with Mary Elizabeth? You need
to take action.
Wow I think I should focus on myself a bit more first. I’m lonely, I miss Craig but
not as much as I miss you. I love you Charlie and I can’t believe that I’m gonna lose
you this summer. So anyway I don’t know what's wrong with me maybe I choose
guys like this because of what happened to me when I was 11. But I can’t blame stuff
on that if I’m not sure. I think I need to forget about Craig and put me first.

Love always,
Sam

Dancing with you last night was amazing, even though you can’t dance for shit. Commented [1]: I think she would say that. SORRY
NOT SORRY.
But it was amazing, I love you. I loved it when that slow dance song came on, I felt
Commented [2]: No need to apologize for voice.
connected to you. It was amazing and for a moment I forgot about my issues and just
focused on you, It was so relieving you know. The club was pretty cool anyway and
you made it better. I know now that I won’t ever be fine but i’ll always be ok. I think
I heard Mary Elizabeth (with all her buddhist stuff) once say “Countless choices
define our fate: each choice, each moment, a moment in the ripple of time. Enough
ripple, and you change the tide.” I think I just changed my tide. I know that Craig
wronged me but at the same time I’m thankful he set me on a new path, pushing me
further forward, changing my tide. Anyway I just want to say thank you, this year
has been great with you and I’m gonna miss you so much at college. Just know I
won’t ever forget our time together. I think that you're the best friend I have ever
had. I pick you

Love always,
Sam.