It was early in the morning when the rising sun was raging its flame towards my

skin. Aw, it hurts. I could feel the heat and even though I feel lazy to get up, I was forced

because my mother’s litany was ringing in my precious ear.

“Ryllie baby! Better get up now. You are going to be late in your new school. It is

your first day! Come on darling, fix yourself and eat your breakfast with us.” My mother

said.

I was always thankful because I have her in my life. She is really something, isn’t

she? Oh, by the way, I forgot to introduce myself. Hi! I am Ryllie Caela Santiago, 18

years old, I should not be in school anymore because I was accelerated but something

terrible happened in my past and I did not want to remember anything from it that is why

I stopped from going to my old school. Argggghhh! Yes, my past still haunts me.

Anyways, I think that’s all? Oh, yes, I am going back to track, to my NEW school. Wish

me luck!

“Good morning Ma! Good morning Pa! Good morning my gorgeous Music! :)” I

greeted them with a fake smile.

“Good morning too, baby girl! How was your sleep? Did you drink your medicine

last night?” Papa asked while smiling to me.

“Uh yeah. Of course I will never forget to drink those.” I answered not looking

straight to their eyes. “Come on, let us eat. Ahm, Music, why you seem so silent?” I

asked my little sister.

 “Ahh. No no, it’s nothing. Don’t mind me. Just eat Ate because you’re going to

be late in your new school.” she answered.

“I am not even excited. If I have to choose, I will just stay in Ameri..” My mother

interrupted me from talking.

“No. I thought we were done arguing about these things, Caela? It was not your

fault. You had spent almost three years to make yourself whole again after that incident,

baby. Please, just forget about America, forget about everything.”

“I just said it Ma, I don’t have any idea in going back there” I said. “Not now, but

eventually.” My mind continued.

I sighed heavily. I refrained myself from crying, and it seemed that my tears

literally became drained. I just chose to become silent and continue my food. How was

he? By any chance, did he still think about me? Did he miss me, my presence? Or did he

still loathe me? Questions unanswered kept ringing in my head. I miss him. I miss

everything about my happy life in America and I wondered if that incident did not

happen 3 years ago, am I still happy and not miserable like how I am now?

“Caella, hey! We are here in your new school. You seemed so occupied.” Papa

said.

My thoughts crashed because my father uttered something. “Oh. Hehe. I’m sorry

Pa. Thank you for dropping me here. I love you Pa! Take care! And again Pa, please do

not call me Ryllie again. I prefer Caela now.” I said.

 “Okay. I will, but promise me, you’ll take care of yourself here. Your medicines,

your identi..” I cut him off. “Pa, I know. Now, please go to work because it is also your

first day in your new work right? Break a leg pa!” I waved at him as I watched his car no

longer in my sight.

I walked past the gate. Wow. It is a big school, indeed. There were so many

students running past me, oh maybe they are going to be late in their class? Maybe. Some

were just sitting in the bleachers alone; some were with their best friend, singing with

their guitars. Best friend.. Guitar.. I smiled bitterly with what I saw. With those memories

in my head, I tried to look for my classroom, and gotcha! I have found it faster than what

I expected. I sat at the vacant seat at the back. I looked around the classroom. Well, it was

like a typical classroom for college students, a well ventilated, and a conducive classroom

indeed. My new classmates were talking about their different experiences with the past

summer vacation. I don’t want to listen anymore so I put my headphones and just closed

my eyes but just a few minutes somebody tapped my shoulders.

I opened my eyes and looked at the person who just interrupted my sleep.

“Ms. Rodrin is here.” He said then shrugged his shoulders.

“What?! Okay!” I asked him without looking at him because I felt something. He

was like him. How he spoke, the way he shrugged his shoulders and how he looked so

serious. He was like him.

“Hi class! Good morning. How was your vacation? I hope you had so much

happy experiences that you could share in your friends. And oh by the way, we have your
new classmate here. Ms, can you come here in front and introduce yourself?” Ms. Rodrin

looked at me with the smile on her face.

I nodded and walked towards the front. It felt awkward because all eyes were

looking at me as if I have done something wrong. That very same feeling, just like two

years ago. I shrugged my thoughts although it was still running in my head.

“Uhm Hi. I am Ryllie Santiago. 18 years old. Thank you.”

I heard some whispers. I heard some of my classmates murmured about my

introduction. I just ignored them, I don’t care anyway.

“Why did she not smiling? I looked at her teeth, it was not impacted or what. Well

the truth is she got a beautiful set of teeth.” Classmate number 1 said to her friend.

“You did notice too huh. I was looking at her since she entered the classroom, and

I never saw her smile even a little. And when Yui interrupted her from her nap earlier,

she got angry.” Her friend answered.

Gossips everywhere, oh yeah, my first day sucks. I remember him. I remember

how we actually be the leaders of happiness in our section. How we actually laugh over

simple things. It was ironic that I could not even find that smile, that familiar happiness in

my heart.

Time flies so slowly. I want to go home. I want to sleep to rest my mind and my

heart with this familiar pain but I had no choice but to stay in school. It was lunch time,

and I walked myself toward the cafeteria. Well, all eyes are on me, maybe because I was
new here. I bought a rice meal and bottled water. I was in the middle of eating my food

when someone sat down in front of me.

“Can I share a table?” He said.

I nodded, trying not to say something. This guy is really something. How can I

going to answer him if he sat down before he asked me? Unbelievable. Yes, he was the

same guy who tapped my shoulders earlier. The same guy.. like him. I continued to finish

my food then I immediately went outside the cafeteria and find our next room. Again I

sat at the back leftmost of the classroom. It was our creative writing class. Our teacher

told us to write a story about the people close to our heart. He was the one who first

entered my mind. I sighed again. How many times will he invade my mind? I opened my

bag to get my notebook and my pen when a blue paper fell on the floor. I was curious and

amazed how this blue paper comes out in my bag. When I opened the paper, I was left

dumbfounded.

“I was looking at you since you entered the school. Can I ask you a question?

Where did your smile go? I missed those. Please smile for me.

-BOfYou

Who sent this? Who put it in my bag? I looked around but no one looked so

interested in me so I put the letter in my pocket. I did not know how I finished my story

because I was occupied because of the letter. The handwriting was familiar, so familiar.

My Dad dropped by to pick me up. I was so tired that I did not able to eat my dinner. Oh,

my medicines? There’s no way in this world that I would drink any of those. I am not

sick. I know that. I am physically and mentally okay, but emotionally? I don’t know. My
parents were so worried about the incident almost three years ago that’s why we

immediately flew back here in the Philippines. They were so worried about the effects of

it in me. The last thing on my mind was the letter. Thinking about these memories made

me easily fell into the world of dreams and nightmares.

“Ryllie! Come on! We were going to be late! Hurry up!”

“O yeah! Coming! Always in a hurry, Bryle. Haha! Bye Ma. Bye Pa. Bye Music!

Got to go!” I said laughing.

“Tita, we really have to go, I am sorry we cannot eat our breakfast here.” Bryle

said to Mama then looked at me. “It is your fault Ry. You’re like a turtle. So slow.”

I laughed hard. He always got angry because sometimes he got late because of

me. Whenever he got angry with me, I know that was just an act that he was just doing

that for me to get up early the next day but I was a hardheaded woman, so I would not.

He is Bryle San Juan. My best friend, my school buddy, my food buddy, he is my brother

from another mother. We’ve been friends since childhood. I love him so much; he is

everything to me, as a best friend and a brother. We were both in honor roll since high

school until in college. Everyone thinks we were an item, gossips here and there, but we

don’t care, we just laugh because there’s no way in the world we can be together as

couple, it is a big NO.

“Ryllie, I brought your guitar, come on, I will play it and you will sing, okay?”

said Bryle.
 “No. I don’t want to. I have a bad voice. Hahaha” He throws his pick to me.

“Liar! Lie to anyone out there but not with me. I know you are a good singer. We are.

Haha. Let’s sing my composition. I wrote this for us. ” Then we sang until our voice

cracked. This is where we waste our free time. We love singing and playing guitar,

writing original compositions and of course being together.

We were together in everything. I know him very much. We share everything,

even our secrets. He will sometimes spent his whole day and even overnight in our house,

and so do I with theirs. His family was so close to my heart, very. We were so happy

before. Everything changed when Nica came at the picture. She was a transferee and

unfortunately became our classmate. She was nice at everyone, especially to Bryle,

except to me. I did not know what her problem with me is, but who cares? I am happy

with my best friend by my side. But things slowly changed. Bryle and I barely talked. We

were always eating together but always becomes often, often becomes sometimes,

sometimes becomes seldom, and what I feared the most is that, we reached to the point

that we did not even eat together, nor talked to each other.

“Bryle! Hey! Could you please tell me what’s going on? I was thinking what went

wrong? Did I do something wrong that makes you mad at me?” I asked him one time

after class. Yes, I confronted him.

“I really have to go Caela. Don’t bother me. I’m in hurry, you’re wasting my

time..”

Caela? Did he just call me by my second name? For almost a decade of being

together, I never heard him calling me Caela. What does it mean? I was left
dumbfounded. I looked to the way he went and I saw him, with Nica. What left me more

confused was the way Nica looked at me. Is that a smirked? A wicked smile? I just

shrugged what I saw and what brings it to me. But my confusion becomes suspicion. Yes,

I did not want to say that Nica hated me but the way she looked at me, the way she

contradicted my answers in our classrooms, the way she opposed to my opinions and

suggestions as the class middle, made me think that she hates me, yes that much. She

even said that I cheated in one of our exams. She made up stories just to make me out of

the class standing.

Days and months passed so fast. I did not want to believe that he already changed

but his looks and the way he move says it all, though he talks to me again, eat with me

again, I could not help but to think that he was not the same best friend I had before.

Since I barely talk to him at school, I always visit him in their house, and there whom I

always talked with, was his Dad. His Dad was also dear to me, because I can see my Papa

with him. Sometimes, we are having our dinner in their house.

Everything changed because of one wrong speculation. My life changed, and so

does his. It was a great day for me because it was my birthday, October 4, 2012. I was so

excited because every year, Bryle always surprised me. It was a great Monday morning

for me, or so I thought it was. As I entered the University, all eyes were looking at me.

Some were accusing me of things I did not know. Some were what was that? Sympathy?

Anger? Condemn? Disgust? But why? I was confused. I heard some of my classmates

and school mates murmured something about me. What was that? There were so many

questions running in my head until I reached the entrance of the hallway. I saw many

pictures posted on the wall, I approached in and saw Bryle’s dad, with another girl in the
photograph, and I am quite sure the girl is me. I was confused what all those pictures all

about until that one familiar voice speak up.

“Slut! Whore! Mistress! So this is all about huh Santiago?! You befriended me

since then because you are my father’s mistress?! I cannot believe you. You’re a good

actress. Yes, you are really intelligent that everyone adore you, even my father! You are

intelligent that you let everyone believe that you are a good woman. I loathe you, Ryllie

Caela Santiago. You are the reason why my father died!”

I cried a river. Yes. I literally felt numb with those words from him. What? Why?

How? Why we became like this? Tito was dead? What?

“What? Tito is what?!” That was first words that came from my mouth.

“Yes. Are you happy now? He is now dead. Yes, you have succeeded in killing

him just to keep your secret that you are a mistress, but you are wrong. I know

everything! I hate you Santiago. You ruined my life and I will make sure, you will have

your own dose of karma. Thanks to Nica, she found out everything. You fake.”

Anger rushed towards me. My eyes searched for a Nica in the crowd. I found her

smiling widely at me. I looked at Bryle and said “You believed her over me?! Bryle

we’ve been together since we were a child! You know everything about me! But you

chose to believe that girl that you just known for almost 4 months?! Have you ever asked

me? Have you ever talked to me?! No!.”

I got near Nica and slapped her hard but what shocked me more was the familiar

palm that landed on my cheek. It stings. Yes it stings, not in my face but in my heart. My
best friend just hurt me. The one that I have with me by my side throughout the years,

who promised to protect me with all his might, just hurt me, not just physically but

emotionally. He loathed me. He accused me of killing his father and becoming his

mistress, how nice was that? I felt numb. They hurt me, all of them. They hurt me by

throwing something to me, by their malicious eyes that set upon me. I did not know how

I managed to go home. I was literally felt empty that very moment.

I was put in a rehabilitation center in America. I was there for almost a year, then

a year in the trial. Yes, I was accused as a killer. But I was free then because I was

declared as not guilty. Bryle’s mother did not even look at me as if I am a criminal. She

believed in me, and how I wish Bryle also believed what her mother had believed. We

went back to the Philippines after the trial. I did not smile after the incident. I did not

befriend someone again. I did not play my guitar and even write original compositions. I

despise everything about my past life. I loathe Nica for what she had done to me, for

making my life miserable, for taking away the one that I have. I hate her for stealing my

best friend from me. I hate her for walked off with my happiness, my smile. They flew to

London together. And all I remember was the look on Bryle’s eyes the day he cursed me,

eyes full of angst, hatred and pain.

“SLUT! WHORE! MISTRESS!!!!!!..”

“Ryllie!! Darling! Wake up now! Please wake up!” I was surprised to see my

family crying beside me. And I was more surprised to feel myself again. I am crying, oh

this nightmare again. My past kept on haunting me. Bryle’s last words were tattooed in

my heart. My best friend loathed me that much. I smiled bitterly with that thought.
 “I am okay Pa, Ma, Music. Don’t worry.” I fake a smile.

“No. You are not alright Ate. I saw the letter. Is that the reason again?! I know

you never drink your medicines. I tried to keep this with myself but I could not afford to

see you miserable again.” Said Music while crying.

“You knew? You all knew?” I asked them, my eyes were searching for answers.

“Yes. We all knew, Ryllie. We all know something was missing but who knows,

right? We love you. Happy birthday!” Mama said.

So today, that incident was three years ago? My birthday? Since three years ago, I

never celebrated my birthday. I sighed. I fixed myself then I go to school. When I entered

the classroom, all eyes are on me. I ignored them and I just sit down on the chair at the

back. I was busy contemplating my thoughts when Yui called me.

“Ryllie Caela. Happy birthday! By the way, someone wants me to give it to you.

It’s a gift.”

I received a letter. I became nervous, I did not know why. I opened the letter that

made my heart beat faster.

“Happy birthday! Happy birthday Ry! I missed you so much Ryllie. Others chase

me, she got me. But my heart finds his way back home; my heart finds his best friend. I

am so sorry Ry for what I have done to you. Happy birthday! Can you smile for me?”

-BOfYou
 I looked at them, I was looking for answers, but all they gave me were their

smiles. They all mouthed, “Happy birthday”. I smiled. Yes, after three years of living

miserable life, I smiled. I went outside to think about the letter when I saw a familiar

guitar on the entrance of auditorium. Without hesitations, I get the guitar and I entered in

the auditorium. I played again after three long years.. I felt whole that moment. I am

singing my heart out when a familiar voice sings with me.

“If you ever find yourself stuck in the middle of the sea. I'll sail the world to find

you. If you ever find yourself lost in the dark and you can't see. I'll be the light to guide

you. We find out what we're made of. When we are called to help our friends in need.” I

sang the first part when someone sang the chorus.

“You can count on me like 1, 2, 3. I'll be there. And I know when I need it. I can

count on you like 4, 3, 2. And you'll be there. 'Cause that's what friends are supposed to

do. You're tossin' and you're turnin'. And you just can't fall asleep. I'll sing a song beside

you. And if you ever forget how much you really mean to me. Every day I will remind

you.”

I was left dumfounded. It was him. I looked at him, and I was right, it was Bryle.

“Happy birthday Ry! Sorry for all the pain I’ve caused you. I already knew

everything. Nica confessed it to me after a year because her conscience fed her up. I did

not follow you because I could not afford to see you living a miserable life because of

what I had done. I am very sorry for accusing you things you never did.”

“You are my best friend Bryle. You will always be the “B” of me. You are the

“B” in my Ryllie. You are my Best friend. You are my Buddy. You are my Brother. You
are my Bryle. How rare friendship is always is. I have seen the best of you and the worst

of you and I choose both. I will take sunshine into my pocket to give it back to you when

the rain falls hard. I want to be the mirror to remind you to love yourself. I want to be the

air in your lung to remind you to breathe easily. When the wall comes down, when the

thunder rumbles, when nobody else is home, hold my hand, I promise I won't let go."

Yui appeared as Bryle’s step brother. He was the one who put the letter at my bag.

He was the one who reported everything I did to my best friend. Nica? She was now at

the mental hospital. Yes, she has mental disorder, she envied me. She envied me because

of what I have; my best friend, my family, my intelligence, my happiness, that’s why she

decided to take it away from me. I talked to her and I forgave her. Bryle and I? We

reconciled. Yes, because after all these years, I never hated him. He’s still my B- my best

friend. My birthday three years ago was my worst birthday ever, and my birthday three

years after was my best. Like him, he’s my worst best friend yet my best. I am really

happy I have him in my life. Yes, somebody stole my best friend; my standing in class,

my happiness, but what meant for you will always find its way back. Having my family

and my best friend at my side will always be the best feeling ever!

Hey you! Yes you! Have you find the B of you? :)

 THE B IN YOU

Patrici Ann D. Ambata

October 13, 2015

Bse English 4-2