Effective Communication Skills

Training Store corporate training materials

contact@trainingstore.vn

-1-
 Agenda
 Understanding communication
 Communication Barriers
 Para-verbal Communication Skills
 Non-verbal Communication
 STAR speaking
 Listening Skills
 Questioning Techniques
 Providing Feedback
 Networking Skills
 Non-violent Communication Introduction

-2-
 Pre-Assignment

Team discussion
1. What is communication?
2. Sharing 3 examples you missed opportunities
because of lack of communication?
3. How do we communicate effectively?

-3-
 Part 1
Understanding Communication

What is Communication?
How Do We Communicate?
Communication Factors
One-Way versus Two-Way Communication

-4-
 What is Communication?

 Communication:
– The imparting or interchange of
thoughts, opinions, or information by
speech, writing, or signs. Random House
Dictionary
 The effectiveness of communication
– Ability to solve problems
– Productivity
– Level of stress
– Relationships with others
– Ability to meet your goals and achieve your
dreams
– Level of satisfaction with your life

-5-
How Do We Communicate? (1)

Noise

-6-
 How Do We Communicate? (2)

We communicate in three

major ways:
– Spoken

• Verbal

• Para-verbal

– Non-verbal

– Written

-7-
 Communication Factors

Method

Mass

Audience

-8-
 One-Way versus Two-Way
Communication

Advantag
e
Versus
Disadvanta
ge?
The Sender wants one-way communication, but the Receiver
always wants two-way communication!

-9-
 Part 2
Communication Barriers

 Common Barriers
 The Barriers From Sender
 The Barriers From Receiver

- 10 -
 Common Barriers (1)

 Team members often tell that:

– “I can’t explain the problem to the other
person that they understand.”
– “I can’t present the idea to my manager
what I mean.”
– “I don’t have enough time and tools to
communicate effectively the solution.”
– “I’m stressed, I can’t listen to the speaker.”
– “The person I am trying to communicate with
doesn’t want to listen me.”

- 11 -
 Common Barriers (2)
 Language barriers
– Speak different languages.
– Not the first language for one or more people
involved in the communication.
– Speak the same language, but are from
different regions.
 Culture barriers
– Different cultures
– Different classes
– Different lifestyles
 Differences in time and place
– These barriers often occur when people are
in different time zones, or different places.

- 12 -
 The Barriers From Sender

 Don’t know what the receiver expects.

 Using a large amount of words to convey
messages.
 Conveying many issues in a single message that
make the receiver confused.
 Going around and not straight to main points of a
conversation.
 Wrong assumption about the receiver’s
knowledge and skills to understand.
 Using unfamiliar words, examples or using
figurative meaning words that can be understood
in different ways.
 Talking when the receiver is distracted.

- 13 -
 The Barriers From Receiver
 Not paying attention.
 Depending on the receiver’s thoughts.
 Being suppressed by emotion.
 Tending to listen to what one wants to see or
hear.
 Listening inactively
– Not observing one’s body language
 Communicating in the uncomfortable manner.
 Tending to resist any message in contrast with
self belief or assumption
 Jumping to conclusion.
 Not asking question to make clear when not
understanding any point.

- 14 -
 Part 3
Para-verbal Communication

“I didn’t say you were stupid”

“I didn’t say you were stupid!”
“I didn’t say you were stupid!”

The Power of Pitch

The Truth About Tone
The Strength of Speed

- 15 -
 The Power of Pitch

People will pick up on the

pitch of your voice and react
to it.
A high pitch is often
interpreted as anxious or
upset.
A low pitch sounds more
serious and authoritative.
The variation in the pitch of your voice is important
to keep the other party interested.

- 16 -
 The Truth About Tone

Tips:
– Trying lowering the pitch of your voice a bit
– Smile! This will warm up anyone’s voice
– Sitting up straight and listen
– Monitoring your inner monologue
– Negative thinking will seep into the tone of
your voice

Communicating over the telephone,

84% of communication is vocal and 16% is verbal!
Source: “Communication Factors” Book, Peterson, Russ, and K. Karschnik

- 17 -
 The Strength of Speed
Speed can affect :
– Your listener’s level interest
– The comprehensibility of your
message
– Your tone and pitch
Tips:
– Trying speak slowly and clearly.
– Smile! This will help you keep calm.
– Monitoring your speaking speed.
– Nervousness will impact to you
strength of speed.

- 18 -
 Part 4
Non-Verbal Communication

 Using Body Language Effectively

 Expressing Messages by Body Language
 Body Language

- 19 -
 Using Body Language Effectively

Power of Body Language in Communication

Words, 7% , 0

Body
Language, 54%
Voice, 39%

Source: www.voiceworks.co.za/

- 20 -
 Expressing Messages by
Body Language

 Eyes
 Face  Gesture
 Body  Touch
 Posture  Space

 Hair
 Clothing
 Cosmetics
 Accessories and jewelry

- 21 -
 Body Language
Standing - Sitting
 Sitting hunched over typically
– Stress
– Discomfort
 Leaning back when standing or
sitting
– Casual
– Relaxed demeanor
 Standing ramrod straight typically
– Stiffness
– Anxiety

- 22 -
 Body Language
Hands, Arms, Feet, Legs

Fidgeting
– Boredom
– Nervousness

Crossed arms and legs

often
– Closed mind

- 23 -
 Body Language
Facial Expressions
Smiles
Frowns
Raised eyebrow
– Inquisitiveness
– Curiosity
– Disbelief
Chewing lips
– Thinking
– Boredom
– Anxiety or nervousness

- 24 -
 Part 5
STAR Speaking

Help send message

clearly, completely, correctly and
concisely !

- 25 -
 STAR
Situation – Task – Action - Result
• Stating what the situation is.
Situati • Where? Who? When?
on
• Stating what your task was.
• What?
Task • Why?

• Stating what you did to resolve the problem.

Action • How?

• Stating what the result was.

• Using a combination of the six roots (Who? What? When?
Result Where? Why? How?)

- 26 -
 Part 6
Listening Skills

The Power of Listening Active Listening

Gripes About Managers Active Listening Tips
Categories of Listeners Active Listening and
Barriers to Effective Listening Interactive Management

- 27 -
 The Power of Listening

Communication
Writing, 9%
Reading, 16% Listening, 45%

Speaking, 30%

Source: Dr. Lyman K. Steil in “You are the Message” Book

What is your communication rate ?

- 28 -
 Gripes About Managers

 “My manager does all the talking; I go in with a

problem and never have a chance to open my
mouth”
 “He interrupts me when I talk”
 “She never looks at me when I talk. She takes care
of her laptop. I’m not sure she’s listening.”
 “His facial expression makes me feel I’m wasting
his time.”
 “My manager sits too close to me.”
 “His phone call interrupts my presentation”
 “My manager is too easily distracted from
listening to me and my problem.”

- 29 -
Categories of Listeners

 The non-listener
 The marginal listener
 Evaluative listener
 The active listener

- 30 -
 Barriers to Effective Listening
 Motivation and Attitude.
 Lack of concentration and attention.
 Negative attitude toward listening.
 Experience and Background.
 Poor listening setting.
 Emotions.
 Daydreaming and Fantasizing.
 Delivery.
 Lack of listening skills.

By nature, the act of hearing, perceiving, and retaining spoken information

that we call listening is an inefficient process

- 31 -
 Active Listening

 Understanding active listening

1. Trying to identify where the other person
is coming from.
2. Listening to what is being said closely and
attentively.
3. Responding appropriately, either non-
verbally with a question or by
paraphrasing.
 Sending good signals to others
– Showing your body language
– “uh-huh”, “mm-hmmm”, “wow”
– Asking open questions & summary
question.

- 32 -
 Active Listening Tips (1)

1. Remember that it is possible to listen and talk at the same

time.
2. Listen for the speaker’s main ideas.
3. Be sensitive to your emotional deaf spots.
4. Fight off distractions.
5. Try not to get angry.
6. Do not trust to memory certain data that may be important.
7. Let your employees tell their own stories first.
8. Empathize with your employees.
9. Withhold judgment.
10. React to the message, not to the person.

- 33 -
 Active Listening Tips (2)

11. Try to appreciate the emotion behind the speaker’s words (vocal
and visual messages) more than the literal meaning of the words.
12. Use feedback.
13. Listen selectively.
14. Relax.
15. Try not to be critical, either mentally or verbally, of someone else’s
point of view, even if it is different from your own.
16. Listen attentively.
17. To the degree that it is in your power, try to create a positive
listening environment.
18. Ask questions.
19. Be motivated to listen.

- 34 -
 Active Listening and
Interactive Management
 Listening isn’t take a secondary position to
speaking, but as important as other
communication skills.
– When no listens, it is pointless to speak.
 Members feel relieved when they find managers
who understand what they have to say about
their problems.
– Truly understand your members by actively
listening to them, they will most likely
reciprocate by listening to you and trying to
understand your point of view.

If you are really willing to learn how to listen, it will take a lot of hard work
to learn the skills, and constant practice to keep them in shape!

- 35 -
 Part 7
Questioning Techniques
One of the most critical and valuable
tools in the manager’s communication
skills is her/his art of questioning.

Ask the right questions at the right time to

help her/his members best is an essential
and integral part of interactive
management.

Open Questions Probing Questions

Closed Questions Funnel Technique

- 36 -
Open Questions

- 37 -
Closed Questions

- 38 -
 Probing Questions

Clarification

Completeness and Correctness

Determining Relevance

Drilling Down

Summarizing

- 39 -
Funnel Technique

‘Tell me how you went about…?’ (open)

‘How did you prepare?’ (open – secondary)
‘What was your starting point?’ (probe)
‘So, what happened next?’ (probe)
‘Who else was involved?’ (probe)
‘And how did they respond?’ (probe)
‘What were your thoughts at that stage?’ (probe)
‘What were the main outcomes?’ (probe)
‘So, that took a total of six weeks?’ (closed –
clarifying)
‘Was it your idea or someone else’s?’ (closed –
clarifying)
‘And the patient made a full recovery?’ (closed –
clarifying)
‘So, let me see if I’ve followed you…’ (checking –
summary)

- 40 -
 Part 8
Providing Feedback

Using Feedback Effectively Feedback Approaches

Feedback: Place and Time The Feedback Sandwich

- 41 -
 Using Feedback Effectively

 Types of feedback
– Verbal or written feedback
– Fact feedback
– Feeling feedback
 Using feedback effectively
– Giving and getting definitions
– Don’t assume
– Asking questions
– Speaking the same language
– Keeping tuned it
– Withholding feedback

Giving feedback on the behavior, not the person!

- 42 -
 Feedback: Place and Time
 Place
– Somewhere quiet, like an office or meeting
room
 Time
– The feedback needs to come as soon as
possible after the event.
– If a person has done something that violates a
given rule, you may have to act immediately.
• Making sure you can control your own
emotions so you will avoid saying something
that you might later regret.
• Applying non-violent communication.

Recognition or reward should be given in public,

but a negative feedback needs to keep in private!

- 43 -
 Feedback Approaches

 Informal feedback
– Recognizing something that has been
learned and properly applied to the
workplace, or offering a small reward for
overall performance.
 Formal feedback
– Being often used with certain benchmarks
and at certain times of the year.
 360-degree performance
– A tool solicits feedback from people within a
360-degree radius of the team member

- 44 -
 The Feedback Sandwich

Make a specific positive comment

Offer critique or suggestions for improvement
Make an overall positive comment

- 45 -
 Part 9
Networking Skills

Making a First Impression Using Business Cards

Effective Introduction Organizing Your Contact List
3C Projecting 4-Stage Effective Short Conversation
Making a Handshake Minimizing Nervousness

- 46 -
 Making a First Impression

Well prepared
– Dress code
– Name card
– Route to the meeting location
– The discussion topic and the
people will meet.
Effective introduction
3C Projecting
– Confidence – Competence - Credibility
When you’re networking,
it’s important to make the best of the first meeting.
- 47 -
 Effective Introduction
Projecting warmth and confidence.
• Mind your body language
• Warm handshake

Stating your full name, position and company.

• “Good morning! I’m John Live, sales executive of
TrainingStore company.”
• Giving your name card.

Repeating the name of the other person when

greeting.
• “It’s nice to meet you, Mr. John Live”
• Repeating their name is an acknowledgment that you heard
their introduction

- 48 -
 Projecting Confidence

Straight - relaxed posture

Holding your head high and
steady
– Don’t slouch or slump.
Moving in a
natural, unaffected manner
Maintaining eye contact with
the people you are talking to

- 49 -
 Projecting Competence

Exhibiting your knowledge

– Knowing the agenda and the
meeting topics.
– Being prepared for the meeting.
– Preparing supportive materials to
emphasize your points.
Answering questions clearly and
asking relevant questions
Avoiding the use of slang or
technical jargon.

- 50 -
 Projecting Credibility

Being on time.
Being presentable.
– Groomed and dress codes.

Keeping true to your word

and your body language.

- 51 -
 Making a Handshake
 Beginning with a greeting and self-introduction
 Handshaking
– Pump your hand only 2-3 times.
– Shake from your elbow.
– Do not use a forceful grip.
– Avoid offering a “fish hand” or “lady fingers”.
– One hand is better than two.
 Ending a handshake
– Should end before the oral introduction exchange
does.
 Covering your mistakes
– If you are worried that your handshake did not
convey the right message about yourself, simply
change the focus of the moment by offering a
quick compliment or asking the other person a
question.

- 52 -
 Using Business Cards
Tips:
1. Always keeping your business cards
within you.
2. Being active: Timing the presentation of
your card.
3. Handing a card when
• At the beginning of the meeting
• At the networking time
• You’re asked
• You’re asked to repeat your name
• Someone asks to send you something
• At the end of the meeting
4. Explaining what you can offer them.
5. Showing the other person that you
value their card.

- 53 -
 Organizing Your Contact List

 Using tools: Name card

holder, Outlook, Google, etc.
 Reviewing your new contacts after each
networking time.
– Updating your contact list
– Making detail notes for interesting contacts.
 Dropping a connecting thank-you email
to connected person.
 Reviewing your contact list periodically.

- 54 -
 4-Stage
Effective Short Conversation
1. Small Talk • Talking about generic topics, subjects that almost
Exchange-of- everyone is comfortable discussing.
pleasantries stage • Establishing rapport.

• Telling the other person some facts about you, your

2. Fact Disclosure job, your interests, etc.
Getting-to-know stage • Aiming to see if you have something in common with
the other person.

3. Viewpoints and
• Offering what you think about various topics like
Opinions politics, education, the new business model.
“Buffering effect” stage

• Disclosure and acknowledgment of personal feelings.

4. Personal Feelings • Requiring trust, rapport, and even a genuine
friendship, because of the intimate nature of the
subject.

- 55 -
 Minimizing Nervousness
Tips:
1. Be informed.
2. Read ! Read! Read!
3. Practice! Practice! Practice!
4. Learning relaxation techniques. There are many activities that can help
relax a nervous person. These activities include:
a) Meditation
b) Self-talk
c) Visualization
d) Breathing exercises
e) Listening to music
5. Identifying your triggers
6. Believing in what you have to offer!

- 56 -
 Part 10
Non-Violent Communication

Marshall Rosenberg

Non-violent Communication Process

Four Steps To Express Anger
Translating ‘Have to’ to ‘Choose to’

- 57 -
 Non-violent Communication
Process
Four steps:
1. Actions we observe that affect our well-being
2. How we feel in relation to what we observe
3. The needs, values and desires that create our feelings
4. Actions we request in order to enrich our lives

Nguyen, when I see two balls of soiled socks under the table and another
three next to the TV, I feel irritated because I am needing more order in the
rooms that we share in common. Would you be willing to put your socks in
your room or in the washing machine?

- 58 -
 Four Steps To Express Anger
Four options when hearing
a difficult message:
1.
Blame ourselves
2. Blame others
3. Sense our own feelings and needs
4. Sense others’ feelings and needs

Four Steps To Express Anger

1. Stop and breathe
2. Identify our judgmental thoughts
3. Connect with our needs
4. Express our feelings and unmet needs

- 59 -
 Translating
‘Have to’ to ‘Choose to’

• List all those things, activities that:

• You tell yourself you have to do
• You dread but do anyway because you perceive
Step 1 yourself to have no choice.

• Insert the words “I choose to . . . ” in front of each

Step 2 item you listed

• Intention behind your choice by completing the

Step 3 statement, “I choose to . . . because I want . . . .”

- 60 -
 Thank You!

Review
Question & Answer

- 61 -