Forward

For our more experienced members who may find some of this
information "basic" and are looking for more advanced stuff… you will
be happy to know that the lessons progress in "complexity" as you go
along.

However, I do want to say that these lessons are EXTREMELY

important. As these lessons will not only get you more women… they
will affect your entire life in a positive way. This means more money,
more friends, and more crazy adventures. (which is what life is really
about)

I have tried to balance the weekly lessons and the weekly Audio
Classes so that you are receiving a wide range of knowledge… in
bite-sized chunks so that you can go out and practice implementing
this stuff immediately.

How to Be Liked
Making friends, making money, getting invited to do cool shit is all
dependent on ONE THING.

Your ability to get people to like you.

In fact, if there is one trait that will take you further in life than any
other, it is the trait of
likeability.

Likeability gets you invited to parties.

Likeability gets you promotions.

Likeability gets you contacts, women, and opportunities you never

dreamed of.

And the best part is…

Likeability is something that you can create.

In today's lesson I am going to teach you the 8 ways to get people to

like you.

After reading through the various answers I received from all of the
apprentices in this program… it became abundantly clear that in
order to effectively implement The Howitzer' it will be important that
we go over some solid foundations for conversation skills. The more
confident you become in your ability to hold a conversation' the more
likely you will be to get off your ass and use this stuff.

But this week, I want to get you focused on the idea of becoming
likeable. This is a long lesson and I am going to separate it into two
weeks.

So let's get started'

The 8 Ways to Get People to Like You:

Rule 1:

Back in college there was this guy in my fraternity, Dave, who I just
couldn't stand. I just found him annoying, and tried to avoid him as
much as possible. He quickly realized that I wasn't fond of him, and
began resenting me to the point our relationship turned bitter.

Although we both tried to avoid each other, circumstance found us

together where we often got into fierce arguments' and we even
came to blows on one occasion.

Although many of our friends tried to unite us, pretty much nothing
could stop the animosity that had built up between us…

Nothing except "KILL A KEG"

Kill a Keg is a drinking competition held between the various

fraternities at Montclair State University every year.

Each frat forms a team of seven members, and then competes to see
who can finish a quarter keg in the quickest time.

The competition has always been taken pretty seriously on

Montclair's campus. Our fraternity had won the "Golden Keg" 18 out
of 20 years.

This year, however, we were facing stiff competition from a frat that
had just pledged in a ton of big hardcore drinking guys.

We were scared.

The entire time my generation was in the frat we had never lost. Our
older alumni would come every year to watch' which added additional
pressure.

The other frat, Delta Chi, had been talking a lot of shit around
campus. They were hungry for the "Golden Keg" and openly admitted
that they had been practicing for the event.
A few days before the event we decided to choose this year's team.

We had a quick drink off, with the last seven men standing declared
this year's representatives.

Needless to say, both Dave and I made the final cut.

I dreaded having to share the same team as Dave. I started having

this sinking feeling that Dave and I would erupt into an argument in
the heat of battle' and blow the whole thing for our team.

But when the big day came' we put on our game faces and strolled
onto the field.
And a miracle occurred.

Not only did our team win the competition'. But we finished the entire
keg in 26 minutes -breaking the 17 year old record of 42 minutes.

The second place team, Delta Chi, finished more than 10 minutes
after us.

It was pandemonium on the field.

And an odd thing happened.

Dave and I were suddenly in the middle of field slapping hands and
hugging each other.
That night, we threw a 400+ person Victory Party where we paraded
our golden keg around the house.

And Dave and I spent the entire party drinking together, laughing, and
just genuinely enjoying each other's company.

I learned a valuable lesson that night.

It is impossible not to like someone when you're feeling extremely

good.
Have you ever been watching your favorite sports team win a
championship game?

Or sit in amazement as your favorite band plows through an

unbelievable set at a concert?

Or just found out you got a promotion?

If you have, you probably noticed something' you seemed to like

those people around you just a tad bit more.

Yes, the first factor of liking is Association: This means that you pair
yourself with pleasurable stimuli.

If you are close to someone when their favorite team wins the Super
Bowl they will feel liking toward you. If you are near someone when
they find out they just aced a test… they will feel liking toward you. If
you meet someone who is happily enjoying their vacation' they will
feel like toward you.

Like Factor 1: Association with pleasurable stimuli.

Rule 2:

Take a moment and think about your best friends. Think about the
guys and girls that you like the most.

How did you become friends with them?

If you're like most people, you made friends with the people that you
spent the most time around.

Maybe you had a class with them and slowly over the course of the
class the two of you became friends.

Or maybe they were on your little league team growing up.

Here is another example:

Take a look at most of married people that you know. Ask them the
story of how they met.

What you're most likely going to hear is a story about how they
worked together. Or they shared a mutual friend and ran into each
other a lot.

This brings us into the second factor of liking, repeat exposure: This
says that the more we are around someone the more we begin to like
them.

I remember a couple years ago I had a trip planned to Brazil with my

friend Bill and my brother. Brazil had always been our place, and I
was looking forward to the three of us heading back down there to
delve into some debauchery.

And then Bill unexpectedly invited two more guys to come down to
Rio de Janeiro with us. These two guys, who I had only met once
before, would be sharing an apartment with us for 10 days.

I was not looking forward to it.

But, by the end of second day, everything changed.

By being forced to spend basically 48 straight hours together we

quickly gelled and it felt as if I knew these two strangers for years.

Add on top of that the association of pleasurable stimuli' I began to

really like these two guys.

Like Factor 2: Repeat Exposure

Rule 3:

The other night my girlfriend and a group of our friends went out to
celebrate her birthday.

My girlfriend had a friend with her, Lina, who I chatted with casually
throughout the course of the night. Lina is only mildly attractive, and
the conversation that we had was not memorable in my eyes.
A couple days after we went out my girlfriend was on the phone
talking enthusiastically in Spanish to someone.

When she hung up the phone, she smiled brightly at me and said,
"You made a pretty big impression on Lina' she really likes you, and
couldn't stop talking about how much fun she had the other night."

And suddenly I liked Lina.

I mean how could I not?

She appreciated what a cool, fun, charming guy I am.

Of course I like her.

In fact, I encouraged my girlfriend to invite Lina to come down the

beach with us next week.

Everyone enjoys being liked' and wants to be around those that like
us. Even yours truly…

Which brings us to the third factor of liking, the law of reciprocal

affection: We like those who like us.

We all have a soft spot in our hearts for those who like us.

And if you can let other people know that you like them' they will most
often reciprocate the affection.

There is one trick to this. It is best to express your liking through a

third party. It seems much more genuine this way.

The same way Lina expressed her liking toward me to my girlfriend,

you should express your liking towards someone to a third party who
is likely to repeat your declaration to the intended recipient.

Like Factor 3: The Law of Reciprocal Affection

Rule 4:
A few years back there was a long drawn out trial held for a man
indicted on multiple cases of fraud. He had apparently swindled many
people out of a great fortune and he was facing up to 20 years in
prison.

The prosecutors viewed the case an open and closed case. The
evidence against him was huge.

So everyone was extremely surprised when it was announced that

there was a hung jury.

The jury had voted guilty 11-1. But that lone holdout kept this man out
of jail. As much as they tried they just could not get that last woman
to vote guilty.

After the proceedings she was hounded by reporters wanting to know

her feelings on the case.

And she only wanted to talk about one thing' the defendant's harelip.

Yes the defendant suffered from a harelip.

And apparently so did the woman's only child.

This woman viewed this man as being so similar to her child because
they both suffered from a harelip, that she could not bring herself to
send him to jail.

Which introduces us to the fourth factor of liking, similarity: We like

those that are similar to us.

Many people often ask me "Why did you decide to pledge the
fraternity you did?"

And my answer never changes, "Because those were the guys most
like me."

It is human nature to like those similar to us.

This is why black guys generally make friends with black guys.
Indians hang out with Indians. Asians with Asians. Rich people with
rich people. And Athletes with Athletes.

We like those who are most similar to us.

If you want someone to like you, share a similarity with them. It can
be something as basic as the fact that the two of you have harelips,
like the example earlier. Or it can be the fact that you're both
recovering alcoholics. Or you both strongly value religion. Or you both
pee a lot.

I remember a few years back, I was going through a period where I

was having trouble getting erections during sex. It was a
psychological problem. But nonetheless, it bugged and embarrassed
the hell out of me.

At the time, my brother told me one of his good friends was having
the same problem…
I instantly liked this guy.

Why? Because I felt similar to him.

Like Factor 4: Similarity

Rule 5:

Have you ever been thick in the middle of a great conversation? Can
you recall the natural vibing that took place?

Saturday night my friend and I headed over to a local bar that I've
been frequenting lately.

We both had "get out of jail free" cards from our girlfriends for the
night, and were just looking to have a good time (and by a good time I
mean flirt with women who are not our girlfriends)

We got to the bar super early, talked business for awhile, and then
started swapping funny tales, making each other laugh, and just
genuinely having a blast.

Out of the corner of my eye I caught a four set who were casually
glancing over at us from time to time.

I pretended not to notice and just went on having a good time with my
friend.

Finally as our conversation was coming to a lull while my friend

ordered a couple more drinks I told him I would be right back and
quickly turned and pulled up a seat next to the four set.

My friend and I had been discussing another friend's bachelor party

we were supposed to be planning and I used that as an opinion
opener to initiate the conversation.

The group of girls got engaged into the conversation quickly, and I
signaled my friend to come over and join us.

A couple minutes into the conversation one of the girls says "You two
must be really good friends, huh?..."

I say "Why do you ask?"

She says, "We were watching you guys for like ten minutes waiting
for you to look over so we could get your attention but you seemed to
just be having too good of a time with each other to notice."

One of the other girls adds in "Yea, we were actually trying to figure
out what you guys were talking about since you both seemed to be so
amused and into the conversation."

From a female's point of you I realized how unnatural that must have
looked in a bar filled with hungry wolves sipping on beers and giving
women the eye of the rapist. And here we were, completely engaged
in a conversation, similar voice tone, gesturing the same, same body
movements, using the same "inside jokes and phrases" and just
appearing to have a tremendous sense of rapport with each other.
It was apparent that we were two guys who really liked each other.
(And not in a gay sort of way)

That is exactly what liking looks like.

And if you want to re-create the feeling of liking in another person you
just have to make it look and feel like you're in the middle of a
conversation with someone you really like.

When you're in complete rapport with someone you tend to match

their posture, gestures, tonality, humor, and movements.

If you want to easily simulate the feeling of rapport, simply act as if

you are already in rapport.

Like Factor 5: Appear the same way as them.

Rule 6:

Some of these rules may appear to be common sense. But this next
rule is actually the complete opposite of common sense.

In fact, "nice guys" are completely oblivious to this rule and often go
so far excessive in the opposite direction that they wind up
supplicating themselves and losing all respect of the woman.

An intuitive piece of advice would be "Do a favor for someone and

they will like you."

And with the law of reciprocation, you can almost guarantee that they
will do you a favor back (as I taught in the Manuscript)

But, counter intuitively, it will NOT make them like you.

In fact, if you want someone to like you, let them do a favor for you.

Yes, it goes against logic, but people actually tend to like people
more if they've done a favor for them.
It probably has something to do with our unique ability to massively
rationalize anything we do…

And our natural thinking must be "Well, if I'm doing them this favor I
must really like them"…

Hell, I don't really know what the logic is…

But it works!

Like Factor 6: Let them do a favor for you.

Rule 7

I covered this next rule in the manuscript.

We like those with flaws. We like those who appear human.

In the manuscript I warned "never appear too perfect."

Have you ever wondered why everyone hates Alex Rodriguez so

much? It's because for nearly 10 years he appeared almost un-
human.

And I'm not talking about his god-like ability to hit a baseball… what
I'm talking about is his almost robotic like walk through life.

He was impossible to relate to.

He just seemed like a machine born strictly to play baseball and

make boat loads of cash.

And for years… he struggled to be liked by his peers and fans.

And then came the steroid scandal.

I will bet you anything that Alex Rodriguez comes out of this whole
thing in a better position than he began.
He has finally showed his human side.

And there is one thing that Hollywood has shown us over and over
again…

An audience LOVES the "loss and redemption" story line.

We love our characters flawed and human, yet able to overcome their
weaknesses to prevail.

Like Factor 7: Be Human

Rule 8:

Here is one of those common sense rules that I talked about a few
pages back.

Be a happy, positive person.

In a recent post on TSB Magazine, titled "Did High School Kill Your
Confidence"

http://www.tsbmag.com/2009/06/15/did-high-school-kill-your-
confidence/

I argued that many of us still carry over the self shame, tepidness,
and insecurities of our high school years.

Being too confident or happy in high school opened you up to ridicule.

But in the real world…

People like happy, positive, and confident people.

Own it.

Like Tommy Lee owns it.

Like Dave Grohl owns it.

Like "The Rock" owns it.

Like Justin Timerberlake owns it.

Like Kanye West owns it.

These guys own everything they do.

They are confident and make everything seem like fun.

Be like those guys.

And people will not be able to help but to want to be around you.

Like factor #8: Be a positive happy person

Weekly Schedule of Activities

1. Review this week's notes on liking and begin implementing

these immediately. (some ideas for this below)

2. Spend time imagining what a conversation looks like between

two people who like each other… then go out and add those
elements to the next conversation you have (no matter who it is
with)

Ways to practice liking

1. Get people to do you a small favor

2. Practice mirroring gestures, movements, and tonality for rapport

building

3. Own your confidence and positive vibes

4. Seem to genuinely like those around you