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Ch. 331 Xue Meng’s Tea-Selling Little Sister Blind Date 1

Warning: casual jokes made towards a hypothetical abortion.

After that incident, Xue Meng saw another seven, eight people in succession, but every time,
either the other party's revealed true appearance turned out to be uglier than he could have
imagined, or the two of them, even before undoing their sachets, had already started fighting to
the point they teetered between life and death, aiming desperately to throttle the other into
oblivion.

After that, Xue Meng gradually became suspicious of this cultivation tool from Manor Head Ma,
and that suspicion grew deeper and deeper.

Finally, he came to the eleventh cultivator. When she cutely said to him: "This one likes
Taxian-jun very much. This one would like to be his empress, and if that's not possible, a
concubine would be fine too. I heard that Taxian-jun likes children very much, and I also like
children very much. I think we must be a match made in heaven. If he wishes to mary me, this
one could give him a new baby every year until he's satisfied~" Xue Meng finally collapsed.

He not only collapsed, but also exploded in rage.

"What kind of woman are you! Don't, don't you know what the relationship between Mo Ran and
Chu-zongshi is?!”

"I know!" The woman, pleased, covered her face bashfully. "But this one is virtuous and kind,
and won't be jealous of Chu-zongshi, and is willing to have babies for Chu-zongshi too,
heehee.​ "

Xue Meng in his rage shook the table: "Don't be so pleased with yourself, you shameless
hussy!"

The woman stared, wide-eyed. "How could you yell at me like that?"

"I'm not just going to yell at you, if you ever say that you lust after Chu-zongshi again, I can
smack you too!"

"You dare!"
"I do dare! Also, is there something wrong with your brain? If you like Taxian-jun, then what are
you doing playing around with the relief scroll and wasting other people's time? You could just
go intercept him on Nanping Mountain!"

The woman became so indignant that she rolled up her sleeves and cast off her previous
charming manner. "Fuck! You think I haven't tried?" she said fiercely, "I'll have you know I
waited seven days and seven nights trying to ambush him! "

"...You're fucking sick!"

"You're the one who's sick! You're the one who doesn't understand the power of love!" As she
yelled, her eyes began to tear up. "Ah, you don't even know; that evening, when I finally met
him, he came out from behind a fence, and looked at me－when our four eyes met, I heard a
bang in my head, like fireworks exploded. Now I've even figured out which sect our child should
study under in the future!"

The girl recounted her adventure passionately, as if she were trapped and couldn't free herself
from those honeyed memories: "And then, I rushed over in excitement, and told him－"

"Don't tell me you just directly told him that you liked him?" Xue Meng said incredibly.

"That's what you think? Wow, with an imagination that terrible, no wonder you've had to go on
these blind dates." The girl rolled her eyes at Xue Meng. "You've gotta be shocking, you've gotta
be provocative, you need to use overpowering rhetoric! With one phrase you need to capture
his attention and interest! Got it? So anyway, I told him－"

She took a deep breath, and with practiced enunciation she loudly vomited out two words: "I'm
pregnant."

Xue Meng: "...???"

"What the hell does that have to do with Mo Ran???"

"It has everything to do with him. It was his eyes, his gaze made me pregnant," she considrately
explained to her audience.

"....." Xue Meng sat frozen for a very long time, shocked by her mad energy. He didn't know
what to say. Finally, he asked in horror: "Did Mo Ran actually pay any attention to you?"

"Of course, I succeeded in using these words to attract the Emperor's attention. He was so
warm, not at all cold like I heard he was. He was even willing to take responsibility on his own
initiative!"
Xue Meng was once again shocked: "Wh-, what? He, he... What did he say?"

The girl covered her face shyly and said: "He asked me if I wanted an abortion? One tael for a
kick in the stomach, don't tell Chu Wanning."

"...."

Xue Meng's mouth twitched, and finally he couldn't help it anymore: "HAHAHAHAHA!!"

"What are you laughing at? He was willing to kick me! It's fate! As long as I'm sincere enough, I
won't believe that I can't be with Taxian-jun!""

Still laughing, Xue Meng stood up to stretch out his muscles. "Alright, c'mere, I can give you a
kick in place of Taxian-jun right now!"

"Ahh—"

Xue Meng finally couldn't stand this bleak, depressing blind date process anymore. With the pen
name of "Taobao Manor Destroyed My Youth", he successively left a hundred bad reviews for
the relief scroll on the "Ranking of Cultivation Instruments". Each bad review came with nearly a
thousand words of personal accounts, denouncing this tool that Manor Head Ma had refined.

However, what Xue Meng couldn't expect was that his writing was too full of his sincere
emotions, too full of his surging passions, which led to many in the cultivation world to fall over
themselves to read and spread his writings—

Of course, this was done in the spirit of mockery.

There was even a black-market businessman who copied his bad reviews and compiled them
into a book. Since it was officially published and sold on August 18, the black market bookseller
titled the book "818".1

The table of contents for the book are as follows:

"818's My Delicious Daddy"

"818's My Savage Cousin"

……

1
818 is internet slang for pieces of news on entertainment figures unearthed by gossip-mongers that
suddenly explode into the mainstream.
And so on and so forth.

Other people's trivial misfortunes will always arouse the interest of everyday people, so 818 for
a short while became the most popular black-market book on the streets. Many people even
called for the hero "Taobao Manor Destroyed My Youth" to go on even more dates, to bring
more happiness to everyone.

It was fortunate then that the book was soon banned by Jiang Xi.

Jiang Xi stared at the words "Delicious Daddy", and his eyes shone with sinister light: "What sort
of nonsense is all this. Burn it all."

"Yes, Sect Leader!"

A crowd of Gu Yue Ye's lackey disciples immediately bought all the 818s on the market, dug a
pit in the outskirts of Yangzhou, and set it all aflame.

818 burned, but the relief scroll kept selling out. Xue Meng was unbearably furious, until finally,
he secretly sent a letter signed with his real name to Manor Head Ma, angrily cursing out our
sincere, adorable, kind and innocent Manor Head Ma for ten thousand words straight.

But in fact, the letter only had one core meaning .—

Jieke Ma! You dog thief! What kind of cultivation instrument is this? Aren't you just spreading
human suffering? I'll tell you now, if I don't like your response to this letter, I'll end any
relationship between your Taobao Manor and my Sisheng Peak! Don't you even think about
getting my Shizun's machine armor diagrams!! Aagghhh!!!

When the sincere, adorable, kind and innocent Manor Head Ma received this letter, he was
happily counting money, and when he read its contents, he almost passed out in surprise.

How could this be!?

Breaking off their relationship is a trivial matter. That the one sending the letter was Xue Meng
was also a trivial matter. The non-trivial matter was that there was a customer dissatisfied with
his masterpiece!

Oh goodness, is that "818" not some fabrication that Gu Yue Ye made up to wickedly compete
with him? There really was someone in the world who hated him that much!

Manor Head Ma felt sad, and hiccuped through his sobs.

He also felt a bit depressed.

He would never allow any customer in the world to not be satisfied with his lovingly made relief
scroll. Never!!!

So Manor Head Ma pulled out his secret weapon—Shou Hou.

Shou Hou is the collective name for a group of disciples cultivating at Taobao Manor. Typically,
they're female disciples with soft voices, pretty faces, and good temperaments. The objective of
their cultivation that Manor Head Ma established for them was this: "To be able to grant a
customer long life (shou) after one conversation, and to be able to form a profound friendship
(hou) after one smile."

In short, Shou Hou.

Considering how angry Xue Meng was, the honorable and serious Manor Head Ma attached
great importance to this matter, and dared not neglect him. So he immediately sent the elder
Shou Hou Bu Shenqi to go in person to Sisheng Peak and Sect Leader Xue, so she can serve
his tea, pour his water, and massage his back and legs.2 All in all, the point was this:

Every effort must be made to restore Xue Meng's favor and provide customer satisfaction!

Nevertheless, the elder Shou Hou Bu Shengqi who had been appointed for this task didn't have
such a deep understanding of the situation as Manor Head Ma. She was a young, pampered,
timid,and pretty female cultivator who liked to play the coquette, and has great fear of Xue
Meng, who once ranked second on the cultivation world's rankings for arrogance. She was
terribly frightened of being hit by Sect Leader Xue...

Bu-guniang spent some time mired in her sadness. Soon afterwards, she told the story to a
cultivator she had recently met through the relief scroll.

It's no wonder that Bu-guniang confessed everything; this cultivator going by "Wang Mei Zhi Ke"
gave off an aura of extreme reliability.3 He was gentle and steady; he didn't lack wit, but he
wasn't frivolous. The intimacy teasing in his words was right on point: a bit more would have
been sleazy, a bit less would have been insipid. He was just like a perfectly brewed cup of tea;
everything just right.

And moreover, he was exceptionally considerate, and eager to help.

Once "Wang Mei Zhi Ke" heard of Bu-guniang's plight, he thought for a moment, and sent her
this message:

2
The characters in Bu Shenqi, ​步深契, are pronounced the same as "不生气" or "Don't get mad"
3
Wang Mei Zhi Ke, "望梅止渴" is an idiom that translates to "Thinking of Plums Quenches the Thirst."
You get no points for correctly guessing who this is.
"Worry not. Let me settle this matter for you."

Bu Shengqi was enormously shocked and moved: "Really?"

Wang Mei-xianzhang's tone on the jade slip was as gentle and considerate as ever: "Of course,
a gentleman is a man of his word. Relax and leave Sect Leader Xue to me. I'll definitely make
him happy."

---

On that day, Xue Meng was cleaning off the dust that had accumulated at Red Lotus Pavilion.
Suddenly, a disciple came to report some news—

"Reporting! Sect Leader! Someone from Taobao Manor is requesting an audience!"

Recently Xue Meng had a headache whenever he heard the words "Taobao Manor". He wiped
off a file left behind by Chu Wanning and threw it into a bamboo canister. He said angrily, "Tell
him to get lost!"

"It, it's a woman!"

"So what if it's a woman?" His period of dating had led Xue Meng to once again recognize a
cardinal truth, that whether men or women, awful people were all the same. "You can tell her to
get lost too! I won't accept any more tools recommended by Taobao Manor. Tell them all to give
up already!"

Saying this, he began to wipe off Chu Wanning's ​qin s​ tand.

"And you can tell her to report to Ma Yun, that even if I'm stuck only doing business with Jiang
Yechen in the future, that I still won't have any contact with his sect! Look at the disreputable
things they're doing! What a nuisance!"

The little disciple pitifully suffered the wrath of his sect leader, and at last he plaintively said:
"But she said she was one of Taobao Manor's Shou Hou disciples."

"Shou Hou disciple?" Xue Meng frowned, "What the hell is that?"

The little disciple: "I heard she's here to apologize..." He swallowed, and then recited, "Whether
rolled round or kneaded flat, her dimples are like flowers, here for your errands or your anger,
until you are satisfied, only then will she leave."

"....."
Xue Meng thought, so she's like a wooden board you break in martial arts practice?

Despite his heartfelt dissatisfaction, since she came to make amends, Xue Meng reluctantly
went out to meet her. Before leaving, he also told the disciple who was watching over the Red
Lotus Pavilion: "Hey, don't touch the ​qin ​stand I was cleaning. I'll go back to working on it when I
return."

After the guardian disciple assured him for the hundredth time that he wouldn't dare to move
even a speck of dust from Red Lotus Pavilion, Xue Meng finally felt reassured, put aside his
cleaning rag, and left.

When he arrived at Danxin Hall, he saw an unfamiliar female cultivator at the center of the hall.
She was dressed in silvery robes, with long pale brown hair that naturally curled at the ends,
held up with a white jade hairpin. Her skin was whiter than snow. Even indoors, she seemed to
emit a soft light.

She was at that moment crouching to tease Veggie Bun the orange cat. The fat cat, who
normally only looked at people with disdain, uncharacteristically liked her very much. He not
only graciously turned over his white belly for her approval, but also squinted his eyes and let
out a a satisfied purr.

Hearing someone approaching, Shou Hou-guniang turned her head. When she saw Xue Meng,
she immediately got up and, with both great warmth and shyness, smiled at him.

"Ah, Sect Leader Xue. It's an honor to finally meet you."

Xue Meng: "..."

Huh? Why did this person feel so familiar?

Xue Meng sized her up to make sure that she wasn't wearing an illusion sachet. If it wasn't an
illusion that caused him to get that sense, it was probably just a coincidence.

Her complexion was white, her eyes and hair were both rather pale, she had her facial features
gave off a profound sense of mystery, breathtaking and cold. But she has a pair of loving eyes
brimming with emotion that looked everywhere with great interest, and she posessed an air of
romantic yet unmalicious charm.

Xue Meng was a very picky person. From birth to now, the only woman who in his eyes he'd call
"beautiful" was his mother, Madame Wang.
But this Shou Hou...Even though Xue Meng felt she wasn't as good looking as his own self, he
had to say she wasn't too bad either.
The two looked at each other for a while, and when Shou Hou-guniang was just about to open
her mouth to introduce herself, Xue Meng suddenly raised his hand and said: "Wait a minute."

Then he went aside and said to the little disciple, "You, come here."

As soon as the little disciple approached, Xue Meng lowered his voice and asked: "You're sure
this Shou Hou is actually here to offer apologies?"

The little disciple didn't understand: "Y-, yes."

Xue Meng said gravely: "Isn't there a chance that Ma Yun is just deploying a beauty
strategically, so that by underhanded means he gets me to give up fighting for the victims of the
relief scroll?"

"....."

The disciple thought to himself, aren't you the only victim of the relief scroll? Everyone else has
been having a good time with it except you.

Also, "818" was really funny!

...
On second thought, he valued his life.

So the little disciple pumped his fist and cheered Xue Meng on: "Sect Leader, justice may come
late, but it will always come. Manor Head Ma using a beauty as strategy is nothing; even if
someone used all 36 Stratagems against you, you're still the upright and forthright Sect Leader
Xue! Believe in yourself, you can do it!"

Xue Meng was greatly inspired and moved when he heard this. He patted the young disciple on
the shoulder and said, "Well said! True gold isn't afraid of fire, true men aren't afraid of female
entanglements. Even if I let her grind me down, it'll never change my heart! I'll alienate her, be
cold to her, embarrass her, so that she'll make a tactical retreat and leave Sisheng Peak as
soon as possible!"

After he finished, he turned around and said aggressively to Shou Hou:

"What are you called?"

"Oh, me?" Shou Hou-guniang gently smiled, and said: "My lowly name isn't worth your ears. It is
enough for Sect Leader Xue to call me Shou Hou."
"...Ok!" Xue Meng waved his hand vigilantly and impatiently. "It's impossible for me to change
my view of the relief scroll. If that's your purpose for coming here, just go away so we don't
waste each other's time."

Shou Hou smiled indulgently and said: "Apologies are just one of many reasons I'm here. There
are so many Shou Hou disciples like me at Taobao Manor, I had to ask to come to Sisheng
Peak on my own initiative, not only for the relief scroll, but also because..."

She stared at Xue Meng with her pale eyes, and suddenly he felt that inexplicable familiarity
again. It felt like he was a rat being stared at by a cat. Goosebumps raised along his back, and
had a sudden dangerous sense that shortly he would become a toy for her amusement.

He was on guard and ready to drive her away from the mountain as soon as any excuse for it
arose, but suddenly, he saw Shou Hou's face widened with a smile full of boundless charms.

She warmly said: "Because Sect Leader Xue is the cultivation world's most remarkable, most
righteous, most generous, most spicy..."

"Wha-?"

"​Cough,​ most striking cultivator." She seamlessly corrected herself without even blinking, then
continued smiling: "This one has admired you for a very long time, and has freely come with the
desire to keep you company."

Ch. 332 Xue Meng’s Tea-Selling Little Sister Blind Date 2

Translator’s note: Going forward, I’ll be denoting the older Mei Hanxue as “Mei HanXue” so
readers have a clearer idea of which one is which.

Also, I’ve made some translation choices in this chapter that aren’t quite appropriate to the
setting and are likely to age very poorly. But also, they’re funny and it’s my doc so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

On one hand, Xue Meng felt like he in no way needed female companionship.

On the other hand, Xue Meng felt that every word Shou Hou said was correct, and had no
aversion to such an honest woman.

It's said that "a raised hand can't strike a smiling face", and besides, she had been so
well-behaved and sincere that Xue Meng was momentarily too embarrassed to chase her away.
So he could only let her stay for a bit at Sisheng Peak, and let her "practice what I preach, and
represent Manor Head Ma in expressing our most sincere apologies to Sect Leader Xue."
A few days passed, and Shou Hou remained extraordinarily discreet. Without Xue Meng's
express permission, she never in any way fooled around, and actually deftly and peacefully
helped support Sisheng Peak.

Sisheng Peak was in fact quite busy. After the great war, even though the sect's standing rose
triumphantly, it still, as before, liked to take on errands like "Granny Wang's cat climbed up a
tree again and can't get down."

When Xue Meng was young, these tasks were usually handled by Shi Mei. Sometimes when
Mo Ran was bored he'd also take them. But after he took over the sect, he hoped that every
disciple could go out into the countryside and understand the concept that that good deeds, no
matter big or small, were all significant. So he asked the twenty elders of Sisheng Peak to line
up their disciples to undertake such piecemeal errands in turn.

It's Tanlang's turn this month.

Besides Chu Wanning, Tanlang has the fewest disciples. They were all chosen through his own
particular methods, so all those under him were also rather particular and rather odd.

These disciples would absolutely refuse to do things like leave the mountain to help Granny
Wang get her cat down. But they couldn't refuse direct requests from the sect leader, so they
normally just found some easy to bully junior disciple from Xuanji's group, and bribed them, or
threatened them with a beating, and bully Elder Xuanji's disciple into crying and doing these
trivial tasks for them.

For this reason, even though Xuanji was quite gentle, he'd had to go to Tanlang multiple times
to settle the score.

But with Shou Hou, everything was different.

Somehow, with just a few words, she managed to charm Tanlang's disciples into going down
the mountain to help, and even got them to leave with great cheer.

Besides resolving arguments, she helped Mengpo Hall's auntie make food, wiped down the
stone lions of Naihe Bridge, and catalogued the books in the library pavilion. She was willing to
do any errand, and did them well. From all the elders on high, down to Mengpo Hall's dog and
Madame Wang's cat, all those who had breath in them had only one thing to say about her:

"Mee​OW​!" said the cat.

"Bow-WOW!" said the dog.

"Wooooow..." said the people.

It was clear that Shou Hou has the wisdom and serenity befitting someone coming from a cohort
of da-shijie.

By the third day, Xue Meng couldn't sit still any longer.

He felt that this woman was quite skillful, so he could ask her for her advice. But he also felt he
had to save face, and he couldn't get himself to go to a young lady from another sect to discuss
such matters.

As he was deliberating, he heard from a nearby corridor the sound of some young disciples
whispering among themselves.

Disciple A: "Shou Hou-guniang is sooo beautiful. ​Sigh​, but I don't know how long she can stay in
Sisheng Peak. If she could stay for three, five months, I have to pursue her!"

Disciple B rolled his eyes: "The toad wants to eat swan meat! Can't you see that Shou-guniang
clearly secretly admires our sect leader?"

Xue Meng was shocked! And just then, they walked around the corner. Xue Meng quickly raised
the sword manual in his hand to cover his face, meanwhile straining to listen in on their
conversation.

"Eh? Really?"

"Are you stupid? Look at when she talks to other people, she can't go three sentences before
she turns the subject to Sect Leader Xue. I think that besides helping out the sect, she's here for
two things."

"What two things?"

Disciple B lifted his finger: "First, to praise Sect Leader Xue. Second, to ask around about Sect
Leader Xue. See how blindly she's praising him? She says that our sect leader is handsomer
than Mo-zongshi, smarter than Manor Head Ma, richer than Jiang Yechen, and has a heart
kinder than Chu-zongshi...and worst of all, she said that his stature and height are both
excellent. You tell me if she seems blind or not!"

"???" Xue Meng was angry.

Everything she said was all undoubtedly true, you two are the blind ones!
"She's asking about everything, from his favorite foods to his recent mood. Yesterday I even
saw her asking Sect Leader about what he thinks about Mei Hanxue."

"Eh? Why does she want to to know our sect leader's feelings towards Mei Hanxue?"

"Obviously it's because Sect Leader and Mei da-shixiong are childhood friends. If you want to
get the measure of a man, you need to get the measure of the men around him. I think
Shou-guniang is set on him, so you better give up competing with the sect leader, because you
have no chance."

As they murmured, they walked away.

They left Xue Meng standing where he was, slowly lowering the sword manual covering his
face.

Although he thought Shou Hou wasn't as good-looking as he was, she was still quite a
remarkable girl, and now, now that that she was already praising him to death...

He should ask her to dinner, maybe ask her how she manages sect things... that wouldn't be
shameful, right?

This was certainly an idea he had.

With such an idea in mind, Xue Meng asked around for Shou-guniang's whereabouts. He heard
that she was in the library, so he tidied his clothes, cleared his throat, and walked in her
direction.

At this time, in the library:

Taobao Manor Shou Hou-guniang, Bu Shenqi's hero, master of the Yi Rong Technique, the one
nicknamed "Wang Mei Zhi Ke" — the one whose true identity is Kunlun Taxue Palace's
da-shixiong, the cultivation world's number one dandy—Mei Hanxue-xianjun, was just then
dedicating his focus to an antique book titled "Registry of Ancient Barriers".

This book was originally in Chu Wanning's Red Lotus Pavilion. After Chu Wanning's retirement
to Nanping, Xue Meng was asked to move all his books to the library for the disciples to study.
Along with "Registry of Ancient Barriers," the collection included numerous books such as
"Plantlife Records", "Journey to Shu", "Linyi Rufeng Sect Qin Scores" and so on.

As a music-focused cultivator, Mei Hanxue's interest in barrier techniques wasn't very high.
Reasonably speaking, he should have been looking through "Linyi Rufeng Sect Qin Scores, but
he didn't. Instead, he was perusing this cryptic, complex book on barriers with keen interest, and
from time to time, he would rub his chin and chuckle to himself, as if he deeply engaged with the
material.

And how could he not be?

Because in this volume of "Registry of Ancient Barriers" that Chu Wanning had left behind, there
was a pile of erotic art!

Mei Hanxue was keen, and naturally knew that these wouldn't be related to Chu Wanning. With
a little thought, he could make a general guess as to how they got there. Presumably, these ink
treasures must have been sneaked in by a naughty Mo Ran. The scene must have been
brilliant, and the idea of it made him gasp in admiration.

He had to say that Mo Ran was quite an ingenious young man. Mei Hanxue had spent so many
years making his way through the lovely flowers that normal beauty didn't even catch his eyes
anymore, yet he was deeply moved by Master Mo Weiyu's early authentic works.

What impressed him more was that this man dared to put such a lewd picture in Chu Wanning's
book, and lived to tell the tale. Truly an extraordinary man.

Mei Hanxue kept looking, and couldn't help but let out a breath of laughter.

Mo Ran truly was quite interesting. And Xue Ziming had been with him for so many years, yet
he hadn't been sullied by Mo Ran's filth - even more interesting.

"Being interesting" was one of the most important requirements for Mei Hanxue to have any
regard for a person. And ever since he met Xue Meng, he hadn't yet found anymore more
interesting to play with than him. In the eyes of Mei Hanxue, Xue Meng was too impulsive, too
impatient, too simple and forgetful. He was like a pufferfish; if someone sitting on land would
poke him, he'd immediately puff up in anger, but it wouldn't take too long for him to stupidly
forget what he was mad about, and go right back to strutting his fins in the water.

Mei Hanxue couldn't help but be like an addicted cat. He'd casually poke at him, and swat at
him, and the more angry Xue Meng became, the more he'd purr.

In the past, Xue Meng had asked him about this when he couldn't take it anymore: "Mei Hanxue,
are there any bad feelings between us?"

Mei Hanxue thought, you are my son of my benefactor, of course there aren't any bad feelings.
But there is indeed an old debt that you seem to have forgotten.

Yes. Xue Meng couldn't remember that when they first met as children, he had done something
so evil that Mei Hanxue still fumed—
He made Mei Hanxue wear women's clothes.

At that time, Mei Hanxue was a chubby-cheeked child with stubby, round limbs. He had come
with his Shizun and a group of people from Mingyue Tower to Sisheng Peak. It was winter, and
he wore a fluffy white fur cap and heavy robes. The cap was slightly too big, and always slid
sideways, covering his pale golden hair and his blue eyes, so that Xue Meng didn't even notice
the little disciple with the foreign face.

It was the first time Mei Hanxue left Taxue Palace to go to another sect. At that time, he was
young and a newcomer to this land, and because his words always came out in a broken accent
and he didn't want to be laughed at, he simply didn't say anything. Standing in the corner with
his pale golden eyelashes drooped, it was the complete opposite from his honeypot future self.

So how did the feud between him and Xue Meng start?

Everything else was fine, but it was all the fault of the heavy mist at Miaoyin Pool.

There were many hot springs near Kunlun Taxue Palace, and the disciples were used to
bathing in them. Mei Hanxue was the same.

That evening, he wanted to take Mei HanXue to take a bath in Miaoyin Pool. But after waiting
and waiting, Mei HanXue still hadn't returned to their room, so he had to go to the baths by
himself.

After taking off his outer robe, leaving him only in thin white undergarments, Mei Hanxue
realized that he didn't know where to put his clothes. So he simply piled them on top of his
golden hair and walked onto the flower-strewn cobbled path. When he came to the springs, he
suddenly heard a childish and wildly energetic voice.

"Shi Mei, you should get more sunshine. You've already been at Sisheng Peak so long, but
you're still this tiny! Look at how swole I am! ​Sigh,​ I'm worried about what you'll look like when
you grow up... what if you end up like Wuchang Town's ​shaobing​ seller Uncle Wu, who's even
shorter than his wife?"4

Then there was a soft, gentle voice: Shaozhu is naturally the best looking, how could I compare
with you?"

Mei Hanxue wasn't very good at Mandarin at that time. He didn't understand that Shaozhu
meant "young master"; If he could understand it, he would know that this was the son of his

4
Shaobing is a kind of baked flatbread. See:​https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shaobing
benefactor. Unfortunately, because he didn't know the meaning, he thought that "Shao Zhu"
was this person's name.

Having just been complimented, Xue Meng felt quite happy and satisfied, so he encouraged Shi
Mei: "I like your honest enthusiasm, but you need to get taller! Just learn from me. Every day I
get lots of sun, so you should do it too, and when I drink milk, you should drink with me! Never
give up!"

"But I'm afraid—"

"Ehh, what are you afraid of? Believe in me who believes in you! If in the future you really do
end up short like Uncle Wu, then I'll have to cover you. When we see a bad guy you can hide
behind me, how about that?"

Shi Mei laughed at his teasing: "Then I'll have to thank Shaozhu in advance."

"Look at how you're talking! We're all disciples, stop being so polite."

Mei Hanxue listened in as he approached. Just then he could see clearly that there were two
children just about his age in the small hot spring pool, covered in wild flowers. One was slim
and breathtakingly lovely, with red lips and white teeth and skin the color of pear blossoms. The
other one's back was towards him, and he couldn't see his face. But what Mei Hanxue thought
was absolutely ridiculous was that this boy, even when bathing, bound his hair with one of
Sisheng Peak's shining silvery guan.5

Did he forget to take it off or did he keep wearing it on purpose?

Are people in Shu really so strange?

Before he finished his thought, Shi Mei in the pool noticed him. When he saw that it was a
stranger, he immediately gave an alert: "Shaozhu, look behind you..."

"Look at what?" The child with his back to him followed Shi Mei's gaze and turned his head.

— That was the first time in his life that Mei Hanxue saw Xue Meng.

But this meeting was truly doomed by fate. At the moment Xue Meng turned around, the mists
of Miaoyin Pool settled over them. Mei Hanxue could see Xue Meng's face clearly, but Xue
Meng didn't have time to do the same. He only saw that this person's skin was very white, his
eyes were very big, and his facial features were very deep.

5
A "guan" is the headdress that men traditionally used to bind their hair. You can read more about them
and see examples here:
https://ziseviolet.tumblr.com/post/141929771902/hi-i-was-just-wondering-if-you-have-had-a-post
He felt this was probably a girl.

As luck would have it, Chu Wanning had just been peeked at by his female disciples while
bathing in the Red Lotus Pavilion, and Xue Meng immediately thought of this incident. With a
screech, he yelled: "Help! Someone come quick!! It's happening again! Quick, someone catch
this dirty peeper!!!"

"Ah, friend, I am not dirty, I just...just..." Mei Hanxue's Mandarin at that time wasn't fluent, and
when he was nervous, it went all over the place.

He wanted to say that he had gotten hot during sword practice, and he was covered in sweat,
and looking to cool down.

But when he couldn't remember how to say all this, he lowered his head and tried to think,
"Look...look....looking...."

Xue Meng was scandalized: "You admit it! You're sneaking into other people's baths to look at
them?!"

Mei Hanxue bowed his head and kept trying: "Hot....hot....hot...."

"Thot?!" Xue Meng rolled his tongue and imitated him, and sounded like he wanted to vomit. He
grew even more shocked, and on top of that, furious.

"How dare you call me a thot?! I know I'm good looking, but how ​dare​ you!! Shi Mei, back me
up!"

Shi Mei hurriedly coaxed him with his soft voice: "Y-, yes..."

Actually, Xue Meng wasn't quite comfortable showing this "girl peeper" the muscles that he
hadn't actually developed yet: "Look at my arms, my legs... I'm as swole as my dad! Take a look
at how beautiful Xue men are!"

Mei Hanxue didn't understand, and he was still thinking seriously about how to say that he felt
hot enough to be boiling and was covered in sweat, and just wanted a bath: "But..."

His Mandarin was truly not great.

Xue Meng stopped his flexing mid-motion: "...You want to see my butt?"

Mei Hanxue finally got it. He clapped his hands and said happily, "But! But here for bath!"
".....'' Xue Meng stood there dumbly for a very long time. his face turned green, his mouth
opened and closed, but he couldn't get a word out. At last, he suddenly launched a chunk of
soap at Mei Hanxue, and exploded like a volcano: "Guards!! Why aren't you here yet!! Get this
dog thief!!!!"

"Yes!"

Mei Hanxue was still a little confused when he was dragged down to the ground.

…..?

He was hot and just wanted to take a bath. Why was he a dirty peeper?

Thinking about it, the child next to Shao Zhu was called Shimei. The meaning of Shimei in
Mandarin was that she was a younger girl disciple.

Mei Hanxue had a realization－

Ah... at Kunlun, boys couldn't bathe with girls. Could it be that in Shu, boys couldn't take baths
with other boys?

Ch. 333 Xue Meng’s Tea-Selling Little Sister Blind Date 3

Warning: attempted assault

On the day they met for the first time at Miaoyin Pool, due to the confusion of the scene, there
were some details that Mei Hanxue couldn't recall clearly. But in short, because of how
inarticulate, laborious, and stuttering his speech was, he was unable to defend himself, and
finally he was thrown by the righteous shixiong of Sisheng Peak into Yanluo Hall to repent.

Between their pushes and shoves, Mei Hanxue's own robes were also lost in Miaoyin Pool.

His clothes were flimsy, his long pale golden hair hung loose, and he stared with his jasper
eyes. Helplessly standing in the hall, beneath the words "Reflect On Your Loyalty, Unchanging
In Life Or Death," he felt terribly wronged.

"Let me out..."

Everyone treated the young scoundrel harshly, and nobody let him out. But after a while, a
shixiong of Sisheng Peak came to give him clothes, saying that "Shaozhu gave these for you,"
and additionally handed him a book.
Mei Hanxue unfolded the clothes, and saw they were a female disciple's robes.

Then he looked at the book, and saw that it was a volume of "Female Virtues".

"....."

To tell you the truth, Mei Hanxue had always been a very tolerant person, and not easy to
anger, but this time his throat knotted up so tightly he choked on it.

He knew that Suiye City had its own Suiye City customs, Taxue Palace had it own Taxue
Palace regulations, and that Shu had its own Shu practices. For example, he hated eating pork,
but before they left, their Shizun at Mingyue Tower warned them that the human world had a
hundred different types of people, that they were all different, and that perhaps something he
hated was something that someone else loved. Thus, Mei Hanxue has always respected
others—for example, he would never jump around and yell "gross!" in front of someone from the
Central Plains who was happily eating roast pig's foot.

Although he would feel disgusted inside, he would still courteously pass salt and pepper over to
the person.

And then he would go home and wash his hands a hundred times.

But this "Shao Zhu" didn't know how to respect differences at all; not only was he not aware that
"to have friends come from afar, isn't that a delight?", but he even sent women's clothes and
"Female Virtues" to humiliate him—

Didn't he just go into the wrong bathhouse? Couldn't they have talked it out? Why did they need
to fix things so roughly?

Mei Hanxue, a foreigner venturing into the outside world for the first time, couldn't understand it,
and didn't want to think about it anymore, so he just stuffed his anger back in his heart.

It was nighttime, and terribly cold, and he only had on a thin inner robe that was stained with
mud. Despite his humiliation, a good man knew better than to fight against insurmountable
odds, and eventually he put on the clothes that "Shao Zhu" gave him.

As for the book of "Female Virtues", he didn't hesitate in throwing it into the fire. The moment
the fire lit up, Mei Hanxue thought darkly: he will remember today's disgrace, and if that "Shao
Zhu" ever lands in his hands, he'd kill him himself!

However, the next morning was even more embarrassing.

According to the rules set down for the two brothers by Mingyue Tower for this time, he would
show his face one day, and the next day would be his brother Mei HanXue's turn.

Mei HanXue came to Yanluo Hall to look for him. When he went to exchange identities, he saw
him wearing blue and silver female disciple's robes from Sisheng Peak, his blond hair loosely
tied, sitting in a small dark corner.

Mei HanXue: "... What are you wearing?"

Mei Hanxue answered: "Ge, this is what you should be wearing today."

"..."

"Come on, I've enjoyed them all night. These clothes actually smell pretty nice. Let's change
quickly."

"Mei Hanxue!" The older brother angrily said, "What trouble did you get into again when I wasn't
around?"

Mei Hanxue sometimes felt that his brother's life was really too tragic. Maybe it was just bad
luck, but every time he fell into a bad situation, the one who always ended up cleaning up the
mess was his brother.

The same is true this time.

The rage he felt at being forced into women's clothes to stew in Yanluo Hall for an entire night
was justified, but the persecution his brother would suffer at the hands of "Shao Zhu" made it
even more severe, because according to the arrangements of Yanluo Hall's guards, today his
brother had to go out to the library to wipe down the books.

When Mei HanXue was forced into that blue and silver female disciple's uniform, Mei Hanxue
thought he might go crazy.

At that time, the younger brother truly felt that "if that Shao Zhu ever lands in his hands, he'd kill
him himself."

When the older brother heard the whole story, he made a small deletion for his younger brother,
and removed the "if".

Mei HanXue said frostily: "You wait here. After I finish wiping down the books, I'll kill him."

Then he stepped to the library on his short little legs.

At that time, Kunlun Taxue Palace had several arrogant, bullying shixiong who came along with
Minyue Tower to visit Sisheng Peak. Because the Sect Leader favored Mei Hanxue, they had a
very unfavorable view towards him. One of them was especially awful; as soon as he heard that
Mei-shidi had been disciplined by Sisheng Peak, he sprang towards the library to rubberneck.

Seeing that Mei-shidi actually wore a girl disciple's clothes, and stood on a small wooden ladder
wiping books with a face that looked like it was made of the most bitter frost, he couldn't help but
scream with laughter. And then, he called over his posse of scoundrel friends to join in
humiliating him.

"Isn't this Mei-shidi....ah, no, it should be Mei-shimei! You look quite lovely, hahahaha!"

"How did you provoke the people of Sisheng Peak to make them bully you like this?"

"Tell Shige who this person is, Buahahaha, Shige will present flowers to that man!"

Mei HanXue was cold-natured and not fond of nonsense. Having been provoked, he
immediately tried to hit back. However, he was still too small, and hadn't learned too many
techniques. With one of him facing a group of them, this group of intractable thugs managed to
press him into the ground.

These people didn't know that Mei Hanxue was actually a pair of twin brothers, so they yelled:

"What's wrong with you? How come one day you're nice and polite and the next you're
screaming about killing people? Do you need your Shixiong to come fix up that brain of yours?"

"Strip him. He's from our Taxue Palace, so why should he wear clothes from Sisheng Peak?"

During the struggle, he suddenly heard the hum of a passing blade. A long scimitar, shining like
snow, had been suddenly thrown deep into the wooden floors!

"What do you think you're doing!"

The group of scum from Kunlun Taxue Palace were shocked, and suddenly dispersed, turning
their heads—

"Xue, Xue Meng?!"

On hearing this name, Mei HanXue shook aside the messy blond hair covering his pale eyes,
and lifted his gaze.
He saw a half-grown boy standing in the library's doorway, his arms crossed. His face was
elegant, his aura domineering. He wore a full set of Sisheng Peak silver-blue armor, his hair in a
ponytail, and a black finger guard, which was impatiently tapping his crossed arms.

Xue Meng said, ill-tempered: "Bullying people in my Sisheng Peak, did you get permission from
my father? Have you asked my Shizun? Have you asked me??"

The disciples of Kunlun Taxue Palace obsequiously laughed: "Aiya... this, this is just us teaching
a disobedient shidi a lesson..hehe....hehehe..."

"You call this a lesson?" Xue Meng stared, and he pointed at Mei HanXue. "Shouldn't this be
called group of strong young men ganging up on a single weak person?"

"Ye-yes....you're right..."

Xue Meng said angrily: "What are you doing still poking around here? Scram!"

This group was all made of bullies, and, Xue Meng, after all, was the son of the Sect Leader.
How could they dare provoke him? They immediately bowed and bent, and scattered, flapping
away like birds.

Xue Meng had a serious look on his face, and placed his steel-reinforced boots into the wooden
floors until they creaked. Then he raised his hand and grasped Longcheng. He wanted to pull it
out in a cool manner, but when he pulled with one hand, it didn't budge.

Xue Meng had to cough lightly in embarrassment, use both his hands with great force, and
breathe from his core. Only then could he pull the sword, which was just about as tall as he was,
out of the ground.

He staggered back two steps.

Xue Meng: "..."

Mei HanXue: "..."

Xue Meng coughed awkwardly again and turned to look at Mei HanXue.

He didn't recognize that this was yesterday's "dirty peeper" from Miaoyin Pool. Mei HanXue
naturally didn't recognize him either. They looked at each other for a moment. Xue Meng saw
that his golden hair was messy, the corner of his mouth was bloodied, and his clothes were torn
into unrecognizable shreds. Only a thin robe of raw silk specially made by Kunlun Taxue Palace
remained on his body. Xue Meng couldn't help wrinkling his brows.
"Despicable."

Saying this, he took off his own outer robe, and draped it over Mei HanXue's shoulders.

"Put this on."

Mei HanXue, draped in Xue Meng's robes, raised his head and looked carefully at this child's
face. He didn't think he looked at all like his benefactor Xue Zhengyong. His face was small and
delicate, his nose pointed, the black and white of his apricot eyes were clear and distinct, and
he carried himself with a certain natural brilliance and pride.

He said hesitantly: "So you're...Xue Meng?"

"I am." Xue Meng said, pleased with himself. "What do you think of my skills? Do you think my
reputation's well deserved?"

Then he is indeed the son of his benefactor.

Mei HanXue wanted to thank him, but then he heard Xue Meng laugh, and say his next
sentence: "Ever since this Shaozhu has gone out into the world, no one has managed to best
me!"

"....."

"You're Shao Zhu?"

Xue Meng: "? Obviously?"

---

"Isn't Shao Zhu a person's name?" That night, after Mei HanXue returned to his room, Mei
Hanxue asked him, astonished: "How did he become our benefactor's son?"

As the older brother was steadier than his younger brother, he silently pulled from their luggage
a book titled "Suiye Kunlun and Mandarin Translation Guide". The two brothers sat together and
read the book under the light of a lamp.

"Shaozhu." Mei Hanxue pointed his finger and read word for word, "Refers to a young master. It
can also refer to when there is an adult master; the one that he designates as his heir is the
Shaozhu."

Mei Hanxue: "..."

Mei HanXue: "..."

They fell into a long silence. After a long time, Mei Hanxue asked:

"So does that mean we can't kill him?"

The elder brother pondered this for a bit. He looked down at the outer robe he was wearing,
lowered his long pale golden eyelashes, and said coldly: "What do you think?"

Mei Hanxue sighed, his blue eyes like those of an exotic cat: "Okay okay, I see."

"....."

"But bullying him a bit should be okay right?"

"No."

"Ge, look, you saw how he bullied me yesterday."

"No."

"He also made you wear a female disciple's clothes!"

Mei HanXue was silent for a bit, and finally gave his brother five words: "... Fine. Don't go too
far."

Later on during that time, Mei Hanxue would often take the initiative to find Xue Meng. Slowly,
the two children became playmates.

But to Mei Hanxue, Xue Meng was far too dumb. One day it was his brother, one day it was
him, yet Xue Meng never felt that something was off, only that he was temperamental. On the
contrary, that little shidi called Shi Mei, nicknamed Xue Ya, always looked like he felt something
was off, and would look at him thoughtfully.

Mei Hanxue didn't like people who were as coldly intelligent as Shi Mei. Someone like Xue
Meng who walked sideways like a crab, but whose head wasn't too bright, that kind of person
was the type he liked to befriend, and who was fun to tease.

The only problem was—

"You're not allowed to sleep with me today!"

"Ah?" Mei Hanxue held a bamboo pillow, dressed in his silk sleeping robes, with his soft blond
hair hanging down, and stared widely with his sea-like eyes: "Why?"

Xue Meng was furious: "Because you kicked me out of bed in the middle of the night last night!
Did you forget?"

Mei Hanxue: "..."

Didn't his brother say he wouldn't bully Xue Meng? Why would he kick someone out of bed in
the middle of the night?

Mei Hanxue smiled. Although he had yet to grow up, and hadn't yet developed his later stunning
looks, there was already a trace of Mei-gongzi in this smile.

"I won't do it tonight. I'll sleep on the outside, and if you still don't trust me, I can stick to you
while you sleep."

Mei Hanxue's intentions were good. He wanted to sleep with Xue Meng. If Xue Meng fell out,
then he would fall out too; close brothers should share all trials and tribulations.

But the problem was that Mei Hanxue's Mandarin still wasn't good, so although he wanted to
say "stick to," what Xue Meng heard was－

If you still don't trust me, I can lick you while you sleep.

Li-...licking?

Xue Meng was stunned, and after picturing that image, he couldn't help throwing a tiger pillow at
him:6 "Aaahh! Why are you Kunlun people so perverted? Get out of here!!!"

It was because the young Mei Hanxue had suffered so many times from Xue Meng not
understanding his stuttering words that he, from a very early point, understood what a splendid
subject speech was. And so, every time he had the chance, he would take the initiative to talk to
girls from the Central Plains. These girls were generally more patient than men, and were willing
to teach him, but they would occasionally cry to him:

"I don't think you like me at all! You're with me just to learn Mandarin!"

But that was all in the past.

6
Cloth ​tiger pillow: a kind of common handicraft for children. They’re really cute! For examples, see here:
https://www.taobao.com/list/product/%E6%89%8B%E5%B7%A5%E8%80%81%E8%99%8E%E6%9E%9
5%E5%A4%B4.htm
Thinking about those past incidences, Mei Hanxue laughed. As he curled his hands around his
mouth to hide his laughter, he heard the door creak. He turned his head in search of the sound.
Backlit by the sun, Xue Meng seemed to be full of arrogance, yet he also seemed somewhat at
a loss as he walked towards him.

"​Cough.​ ..um, hello."

With no anger at all, Mei Hanxue smiled, lowered his legs that had been resting on the shelf, sat
up straight, and smiled: "Ah, the Sect Leader has come to visit."

Xue Meng coughed: "Yes."

"Does the Sect Leader have something he wishes to discuss with me?"

"...uhhh...."

"Yes?"

Xue Meng didn't speak, and just stalled, and looked at him, and slowly, his face turned red.

"..." Mei Hanxue's smile froze, and he began to have some hesitance. ".....?"

He has read countless people, both men and women. Multitudes of these cultivators would have
cheeks that bloomed with rosy clouds upon seeing him－he had a very clear idea of what the
meaning of this was.

But he never thought that Xue Meng would cast this kind of look upon the crossdressed him.

The Xue Ziming he was familiar with wasn't this kind of person.

Xue Ziming was arrogant and honest, brimming with honor and lacking in brains. He had never
known how to do well with girls, and the thing he liked to do most daily, besides practicing
martial arts, was probably admiring himself in the mirror.

To blush at a female cultivator; did he take the wrong medicine?

Even if this particular "female cultivator" was one he created himself, Mei Hanxue still felt
strange. It reminded him of a snow-white Persian cat that he had once raised at Taxue Palace.
He had cared for it from when it was a tiny kitten until it was grown, and always thought it was
stupid and cute, and so he believed that it would always remain stupid and cute.

Until one day, he saw his Persian cat mating with a wild cat. No, not just one, there were two
piled on top, and a third cat watching them do this incredible feat from the side.
Mei Hanxue was shocked. He couldn't comprehend what he was seeing. What happened?
Where did the innocent, adorable, silly little kitten he raised go?

Faced with the scarlet-cheeked Xue Meng, Mei Hanxue felt that his mood now seemed to
delicately coincide with his mood back then.

Seeing Xue Meng's face getting more embarrassed and awkward, repeatedly biting his lips only
to release them, as if he wanted to speak but kept stopping himself, Mei Hanxue began to think
about how he should gently let him down if Xue Meng really opened his mouth to confess to
"Shou Hou".

Should he tell him that "she" actually liked women, or that "she" has a terminal illness and would
probably suddenly die in the next several months?

— These were the kind of words that he would use when he needed to dump a woman. He'd
said these things so many times that he could make the words rain from his mouth like a deluge
of heavenly flowers, but this time, for some reason, he felt a little faint.

As he struggled with his tangled thoughts, he heard Sect Leader Xue say, blushing: "​Cough.​ ..
that..."

"...."

"That is, you've been at Sisheng Peak for a while now, and I have something that I wanted to
ask you."

“...Sect Leader, please.” Mei Hanxue's face was very calm and gentle, but his brain was
buzzing.

What should I do? How to answer? Do I like women, or am I terminally ill? Am I terminally ill, or
do I like women?

Xue Meng awkwardly started speaking: "I, I just wanted to ask..."

"Yes?"

"Ahem." Xue Meng gritted his teeth and stamped his feet. Filled with determination, he
sacrificed his need to save face, clenched his fists, and shouted out in one breath: "Excuse me!
How did you manage to rub Veggie Bun's belly without getting scratched???"
Ch. 334 Xue Meng’s Tea-Selling Little Sister Blind Date 4
Warning: do not trust random danmei characters to give good cat care advice! Do not use their
bad cat care advice to harass the innocent!

Mei Hanxue: "..."

Xue Meng was a red as the clouds over a sunset.

Mei Hanxue couldn't help but raise his brows: "... Is that all? "

"Ah..." Xue Meng pondered for a moment, and remembered problem. "Oh yeah, how did you
keep Tanlang and Xuanji's disciples from fighting?"

Mei Hanxue: "........."

Forgive him, he had thought too highly of Xue Meng.

Even though he had read thousands of people, he had definitely never seen a man as
exquisitely focused as Xue Meng.

Sect Leader Xue's life really did revolve completely around physical strength.

But in spite of this, Mei Hanxue was patient, telling him how he mediated between Tanlang and
Xuanji's disciples, and began to share his knowledge of animal training with Xue Meng.

"Cats are animals that have to be disciplined. The more you indulge them, the less they take
you seriously."

Mei Hanxue smiled lightly, and wore a gentle face and spoke in a kind tone, but he also gave off
a vague sense that he treated all living beings with indifference: "Sect Leader, just because you
think it's cute, doesn't mean you can freely spoil it. You need to control it between the palms of
your hands, bully it, let it know that it can't get the better of you. Only in this way will this fluffy
little one naturally become obedient."

"... But won't it run away?"

Mei Hanxue laughed and said: "Can't you chase it?"

"Can't it hide?"

"Can't you find it?"

"Can't it bite?"
"Can't you hit it?"

During this back-and-forth Xue Meng saw that her face was smiling, yet for some reason he
developed goosebumps. He swallowed the knot in his throat and then said: "... You haven't hit
Veggie Bun, have you?"

"Hah!" Mei Hanxue clasped her hands, held them to her mouth, and smiled even more brilliantly:
"Sect Leader Xue is truly an honorable man. I was joking. I've always encouraged people to
take the bait willingly. I would never forced anyone to do anything."

With this, Xue Meng relaxed a bit. Otherwise, he would have really felt that Shou Hou was
terrifying.

After Mei Hanxue stopped laughing, he raised his pale eyelashes, and with an air of puzzlement
in his shadowed eyes, he began to speak, as if guiding Xue Meng down a new path: "But Sect
Leader, now that you mention it...Taobao Manor has a unique technique for disciplining cats. Do
you have any interest in learning about it?"

As a martial arts enthusiast, Xue Meng was exceptionally curious about anything that was
labeled a "unique technique". Mo Ran once had a suspicion that if he ever wanted to drag the
incomparably pure Xue Ziming into reading porn, as long as he titled them things like "Unique
Techniques For Amorous Feelings" and "Unique Techniques For Romantic Encounters," said
person would argumentatively and obstinately take the bait.

Mei Hanxue smiled and said: "Well, would you like to learn?"

"....."

"It's quite a difficult technique to come by. If it weren't for the fact that I admire you so much, I
would never so lightly reveal it to outsiders."

Xue Meng couldn't resist the temptation of both the cat's fluffy white belly and the two words
"unique technique". Finally, he became tangled up in Mei Hanxue's dubious trap, hardened his
face, and coughing, said: "​Cough​, well, since you asked me so sincerely...then...I guess I could
try it out."

Thus, Mei Hanxue began his lecture.

"First of all, all cats have a certain natural instinct." Mei Hanxue gazed at Xue Meng and said
with profound meaning: "As the saying goes, 'curiosity kills the cat'. Every cat's soft spot is
related to that overly inquisitive nature and that and heart that is unwary of danger."
Xue Meng stared, hungry for knowledge: "Really?"

"Yes." Mei Hanxue raised one slender, graceful finger. "You see, if people just stretch out a
finger in front of them, nine out of ten of these little ones can't help coming closer to take a sniff.
Then you just quickly grab them, press them to the ground, lift open their legs, and then they'll
go weak and start yowling..."

Mei Hanxue had intended to make a disastrous statement to provoke Xue Meng into screaming
and flailing.

Unfortunately, even wise men make mistakes. The exceptionally pure Xue Meng didn't
understand that the exceptionally dirty Mei Hanxue was teasing him. He listened attentively and
asked, "Wouldn't it be unhappy then?"

"....." Mei Hanxue wasn't successful in his teasing, but he wasn't discouraged, and smiled.
"Yes."

"So what then?"

"Coax it."

Xue Meng waved his hand: "It's no use. It can't understand human speech."

Mei Hanxue said: "Speech is empty. Once you start moving, the kitty will start to find it
pleasurable and stop resisting. Instead, it'll find that it's no longer enough, adjust its body to
better fit yours, and start to vocalize how nice it feels... have you tried this before?"

Xue Meng held his chin and pondered: "So they'll start to make a snoring sound?"

Mei Hanxue, looking at his ignorant appearance, found that his itch to tease him was growing
ever stronger. He couldn't help laughing and said: "Yes, that's what cats sound like."

"But every time I touch its stomach, it resists. At most, I can touch its chin."

"That's because your technique wasn't correct, and you didn't pamper it properly. Mei Hanxue's
soft eyelashes twitched. After a while, he said gently: "If the Sect Leader doesn't mind, may I
take the liberty of teaching you hands on?"

"Uh...."

Although propriety stated there shouldn't be direct contact between men and women,
exceptions could be made in order to provide practical instruction and to clarify any confusion.
And Xue Meng saw that Shou Hou-guniang, so gentle and refined, so dignified yet warm, was
an honorable person. He hesitated for a moment, but then nodded.

Nevertheless, when Mei Hanxue started to raise his hand, Xue Meng still shouted in a rush:
"Wait! Wait, hold on a second!"

"What's wrong?"

"I, I want to be straight with you, I'm just here to learn how to pet a cat, and I have no intention of
taking advantage of you!"

"..." Mei Hanxue laughed: "Alright."

And I definitely, absolutely have no intention of doing anything physically immoral!

Mei Hanxue laughed so hard his ribs almost broke, and his eyes were brimming with tears when
he finally got out: "Why are you so nervous? If nothing else, I'm still a disciple of Taobao Manor,
which is a decent, honorable sect. I don't plan on playing immortal jump, let alone make you
take responsibility for my honor after just a few touches. Sect Leader, is there any need to be so
fierce?"

Xue Meng cleared his throat with embarrassment: "​Cough,​ okay then... I guess we can get
started."

Mei Hanxue shifted to the side, made a space for Xue Meng, and said: "Sect Leader, please
come closer first."

When Xue Meng approached, Mei Hanxue raised his hand and said seriously: "Look, when you
see a cat, you should first approach it slowly, and let it freely sniff your fingertip out of curiosity."
Saying this, his fingertip brushed Xue Meng's nose, paused for a moment, then slid down to fall
on Xue Meng's chin, "and then, you can gently scritch it a little."

Mei Hanxue knew Xue Meng's temperament, so he didn't make too much contact, only giving
him the slightest touch. He snickered in his heart: Aiyah, so Xue Meng didn't slap his hand
away.

Not only didn't he strike out, but probably because Mei Hanxue's "Shou Hou" performance was
too honest, Xue Meng didn't even think to be suspicious, and even copied him in touching his
own chin a few times.

"Like this?"

"Use a bit more force."

"How about this?"

"You can't always use the same strength. There's one very good technique, called Nine Shallow
One Deep.7 Once you learn it, you'll find it impossible to give up.

"...What kind of technique is this? How come I've never heard of it before?"

Mei Hanxue held back a laugh: "This is a highly advanced skill, ordinary technique guides
wouldn't have it."

Xue Meng was annoyed: "You're kidding me. I'm the Sect Leader of the majestic Sisheng Peak,
do you really think there are advanced skills out there I haven't seen?"

"...I guarantee that you haven't seen this one before."

Xue Meng refused to accept this and raised his black eyebrows: "How do you know I haven't?
Show me! Let's duke it out!"

Mei Hanxue: "I am indeed quite proficient in this particular skill, but I'm afraid it would be
disrespectful if I were to recklessly use it on the Sect Leader."

After a pause, he saw that Xue Meng still stubbornly looked like he wanted to fight. If they
continued down this road, he was afraid he might let something slip; thus, Mei Hanxue giggled
and said: "Sect Leader, there's no need for you to concern yourself so much with this skill. Nine
Shallow One Deep is a bit of a cheat, and not something that can be learned by everyone. It just
doesn't suit some people physically. I personally think that although your Shizun, Chu-zongshi,
has experienced a masterful version of this many times, his nature might prevent him from being
able to practice it himself.

When he said this, Xue Meng reluctantly gave up, but he still grumbled: "Since my Shizun didn't
learn it, it can't be anything that amazing."

Mei Hanxue laughed and said: "Chu-zongshi doesn't know it, but Mo-zongshi is almost certainly
quite skilled at it."

"?" Xue Meng's eyes grew wider. "Mo Ran? How come I've never heard of him knowing
something like this?"

7
​*SIGH*. If you've read the MDZS extras, you may have already encountered this Nine Shallow One
Deep, which is a thrusting technique during intercourse that is said to bring a great amount of pleasure to
the receptive partner.
Mei Hanxue, motivated by a desire to watch the world burn, smiled, eyes crinkling, and said:
"He who has treasure won't show it easily. Next time you see him, why don't you ask him if the
sensation of using this technique isn't something especially wonderful."

Xue Meng was suspicious, but he kept this matter in mind, and decided to ask Mo Ran when he
had the opportunity next time he saw him. What on earth is this Nine Shallow One Deep skill?
So mysterious.

The two of them spent some time practicing the proper technique for petting a cat. Xue Meng
scritched himself a few times, more-or-less grasping the appropriate strength to use, and asked
happily: "Not bad! I got it. Now what?"

"Then," Mei Hanxue's white jade fingertip slowly slid down and finally landed on Xue Meng's
stomach, hovering over the silver lion's-head armor at his waist. "Then, you've made the cat feel
good, and so it'll lie down and show you its white belly, which means that it's starting to trust
you."

"So now I can touch it?"

"Not yet." Mei Hanxue smiled: "Be patient. You have to do like I'm doing, and stop just around
its belly without actually making contact."

As he spoke, his hand gently, languidly wandered around the area of Xue Meng's stomach. As
time went by, Xue Meng began to feel a little tense, and stared at the hand, not knowing when
exactly it would actually touch him. But even after quite a long while, "Shou Hou"-guniang still
kept her distance, and so he slowly let down his guard.

"Just like this."

Xue Meng nodded: "...Oh..."

Unexpectedly, at this very moment, Mei Hanxue suddenly took hold of his waist, pulled him
close, and laughed: "Then, you just surprise it, and take—"

Mei Hanxue didn't have time to finish saying how he would be taken.

Because Xue Meng, gobsmacked at having been suddenly grabbed by the waist, wasn't able to
adequately defend against this trick. He was pulled foward, and was thrown against Mei
Hanxue, sending them both tumbling.

"Fuck!"
"....." Mei Hanxue felt a weight pressing directly on him. Accustomed to acting protectively
towards the fairer sex, he instinctively embraced Xue Meng, and held him on top. Unsteady, the
two of them fell to the ground.

There was a loud, muffled thump.

The thin layer of dust covering every surface of the library puffed up in a cloud, choking Xue
Meng and making him cough uncontrollably, his eyes tearing up. The library's ancient wooden
floorboards creaked and groaned under their weight. Like a perplexed cat, Xue Meng sat in a
daze,a blank look of confusion on his face, and it was only after quite some time that he realized
that he was pressing Mei Hanxue into the floor.

Mei Hanxue: "..."

Xue Meng: "​Cough cough, hack​!! I, I'm so sorry!"

He waved his hands back and forth to fan away the dust cloud, and only then saw that Mei
Hanxue's clothes were in disorder, and that his hair was coming loose. A pair of pale eyes
looked at him with a somewhat strange expression out from under long curling eyelashes, as if
there was something that needed to be said, but couldn't be.

Xue Meng was stunned. He suddenly realized how inappropriate the situation was, and stood
up in a rush.

However, the more nervous a person was, the more likely he was to make a mistake. Flustered
in his rush to stand up, his feet fell unsteadily during his first few attempts, and he found himself
rubbing against Mei Hanxue.

Mei Hanxue's eyebrows raised just the tiniest bit, and his expression grew just a bit stranger.

After getting up, Xue Meng's face was fully flushed with embarrasment. He stuttered: "W-, well,
um, da-, dajie, I'm uh, truly, s- s- sorry."8

"....."

Because of his temperament, even from a young age, Xue Meng never had good fortune with
women, and the girls of his generation didn't like to deal with him. Instead, he invited the
fondness of older girls and aunties. Therefore, he habitually only addressed women in two

8
​Dajie, “大姐” is typically a fairly polite, generally not too intimate form of address for a woman older than
you.
ways: one is "yi" and the other is "jie".9 And so when nervous, he inadvertently called Mei
Hanxue's beautiful young lady "dajie".

Mei Hanxue looked at him with an air of profound mystery, and sighed in his heart. It serves this
person right that even to the present day he hasn't even held a girl's hand!

What kind of stupid address is dajie?

When greeting girls, those ninety years or older should be called xiangu, thouse five years or
younger should be called mitang, those in between, whether fat or skinny, should all collectively
be known as meiren.10 How could Xue Meng not understand such a simple lesson after having
been alive almost thirty years now?

Xue Meng was still stuttering. "Dajie, I didn't hurt you, did I? I, I don't think I'm that heavy, and
you look pretty sturdy..."

"....." Mei Hanxue felt that if the person in front of Xue Meng at this moment wasn't himself, but a
real girl, Xue Meng might have already received multiple slaps to the face.

Fortunately, Xue Meng seemed to finally realize how inappropriate it was to refer to a young
lady as "sturdy", and awkwardly corrected himself: "I, no, I didn't mean that, I just felt like you
probably wouldn't break with one tap, because you have some muscle on you, um, ugh...I
should probably stop talking. Anyway, are you alright?"

Mei Hanxue remained flat on the ground for a while, then sat up with a complicated expression:
"... I'm all right. I just didn't think that your reaction would be so extreme."

After another awkward silence, Mei Hanxue asked: "Did I frighten you?"

"No, no way." Xue Meng still blushed violently, and didn't know what to say. He stalled for a long
time, then changed the subject. "​Cough.​ .. so, that's how you tamed Veggie Bun?"

"Yes," Mei Hanxue said with a faint smile, "Of the animals I've trained, there isn't one who isn't
obedient."

"Oh..."

"The technique we went over just now, does the Sect Leader understand it?"

9
​Yi, "姨” meaning "aunt", is how you would typically politely address women of your parent's generation.
Jie, "姐” meaning "older sister", is a polite address for women of your own generation who are older than
you. Neither of these, nor their male counterparts, are reserved for people actually related to you by
blood.
10
​"Xiangu" means female immortal. "Mitang" literally means honeyed candy. "Meiren" means beauty.
Xue Meng: "Pretty much, yeah..."

Mei Hanxue said: "That's good. As long as the Sect Leader is happy, then falling down was
worth it."

Xue Meng was flabbergasted. To have these words gently come from the mouth of a beautiful
girl...any normal man would feel a great sense of relief come over his body.

So Xue Meng's heart began to shudder. Although he didn't think so highly of Ma Yun, who
stupidly cobbled together the relief scroll, this Shou Hou disciple of his wasn't too bad. She was
alm, even-tempered, unpretentious, and was moreover honorable, steady in her work, and was
wholeheartedly devoted to the needs of her clients.

Xue Meng used to think that these pretty, delicate little girls were like people made of glass.
They were weak and easy to hurt, and would cry and scream over any little thing. If a man ever
dumped them, they would grind their teeth and stamp their feet, or start wailing pitifully, or
scream hysterically, "This is harassment! You scoundrel!"

But this Shou Hou-guniang, in order to change his negative opinion of the "relief scroll", didn't
even respond to being taken advantage of —of course, he didn't intentionally take advantage of
her, but the kind-hearted Xue Meng couldn't help but develop a threat of deep, sincere pity for
this poor girl, who had to eke out a living through submission and docility.

So he hesitated for a moment and finally said, "... Well, you know, it's almost time for dinner.
Why don't I...take you out for a meal?

Mei Hanxue smiled: "You just bumped into me me. There's no need to feel so guilty."

"No, thank you for teaching me your unique cat skills." Xue Meng still blushed, embarrassed.
"As for me changing my reviews of the relief scroll, well, we can talk about it...anyway, we
should eat first."

And so he extended his hand towards the person he saw as the pitiable tea-selling little sister
Shou Hou-guniang, with the intent of helping her up.

Yet Mei Hanxue didn't move; his eyes moved from Xue Meng's palm up to his face. Finally, he
said: "Sect Leader, you go first. I can sit for a bit longer."

Seeing this reaction, Xue Meng couldn't help feeling a bit lost: "... Did I actually hurt you badly
just now?"
Mei Hanxue raised his eyebrows silently, but then finally smiled: "It's not bad, there's just a bit of
swelling, but it should be fine. As long as you don't run into me again, it should go down soon."

When the kind Xue Meng heard that he had actually hurt this delicate maiden, he couldn't help
but feel even guiltier.

"So it's like that..." Xue Meng bit his lip in embarassment. "Then how about I find Elder Tanlang
to take a look at you?"

"....There's no need. I'm not used to disturbing others due to things like this."

Xue Meng's impression of how forlorn yet prudent she was grew even stronger.

"Then, can you tell me where it's swollen? I have some medicine on me, maybe I could put
some on you?"

"Or actually, I could also massage it a little, if you'd be okay with that?"

Mei Hanxue, looking at his serious appearance, wondered more and more how this person
could be this cute. He used his full energy just to resist laughing and simply kept silent, fearing
that once he opened his mouth, he wouldn't be able to resist slapping his leg and bursting into
full-throated howls of laughter.

Thus, in Xue Meng's eyes, Mei Hanxue became a girl with quivering lips and eyes brimming
with tears, unable to speak the words she wanted to get out.

This girl stared at at him, and the tighter she pursed her lips, the more inexplicable her
expression became.

Finally she bowed her head said with a light cough: "If you rub it, it might just swell up more."

Xue Meng: "?? Huh? Is my hand poisonous?"

"...no."

"Then it should be fine then."

Originally, Mei Hanxue had been looking at Mo Ran's erotic drawings, and added to that the
typical reaction he'd get from someone rubbing against him, there was no further explanation
needed for what was happeneing. But when he looked at Xue Meng's pure, innocent
appearance, the itch to tease him grew worse and worse, to where he wanted to see him run
away with terror or to have him screaming and cursing with rage.
Thinking of such things, his eyes grew a bright, captivating luster, and seemed to emit some
form of vital energy. Pursing his lips in a smile, he said: "Then...if you really wish to help me, it's
not out of the question, but I must make something clear to you..."

Just then, someone knocked resolutely on the library's door.

Mei Hanxue raised his brows, and closed his mouth.

Xue Meng turned his head, and saw Elder Xuanji in blue, standing at the doorway, fingers
knocking at the door frame.

"Sect Leader." As Xuanji spoke, he saw Mei Hanxue behind Xue Meng, and smiled: "Oh, Shou
Hou-guniang is here too."

Mei Hanxue smiled and nodded.

"Yes, I had some things to discuss with her." Xue Meng, unaware of how dangerous his
situation was just then, said pompously: "What's the matter?"

Elder Xuanji reported: "This is the situation. Mei HanXue of Kunlun Taxue Palace has paid us a
sudden visit. He said there was an urgent matter involving you, and he is now waiting in Danxin
Hall."

Mei Hanxue's smile froze.