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Ch. 331 Xue Meng’s Tea-Selling Little Sister Blind Date 1

Warning: casual jokes made towards a hypothetical abortion.

After that incident, Xue Meng saw another seven, eight people in succession, but every time,
either the other party's revealed true appearance turned out to be uglier than he could have
imagined, or the two of them, even before undoing their sachets, had already started fighting to
the point they teetered between life and death, aiming desperately to throttle the other into
oblivion.

After that, Xue Meng gradually became suspicious of this cultivation tool from Manor Head Ma,
and that suspicion grew deeper and deeper.

Finally, he came to the eleventh cultivator. When she cutely said to him: "This one likes
Taxian-jun very much. This one would like to be his empress, and if that's not possible, a
concubine would be fine too. I heard that Taxian-jun likes children very much, and I also like
children very much. I think we must be a match made in heaven. If he wishes to mary me, this
one could give him a new baby every year until he's satisfied~" Xue Meng finally collapsed.

He not only collapsed, but also exploded in rage.

"What kind of woman are you! Don't, don't you know what the relationship between Mo Ran and
Chu-zongshi is?!”

"I know!" The woman, pleased, covered her face bashfully. "But this one is virtuous and kind,
and won't be jealous of Chu-zongshi, and is willing to have babies for Chu-zongshi too,
heehee."

Xue Meng in his rage shook the table: "Don't be so pleased with yourself, you shameless
hussy!"

The woman stared, wide-eyed. "How could you yell at me like that?"

"I'm not just going to yell at you, if you ever say that you lust after Chu-zongshi again, I can
smack you too!"

"You dare!"
"I do dare! Also, is there something wrong with your brain? If you like Taxian-jun, then what are
you doing playing around with the relief scroll and wasting other people's time? You could just
go intercept him on Nanping Mountain!"

The woman became so indignant that she rolled up her sleeves and cast off her previous
charming manner. "Fuck! You think I haven't tried?" she said fiercely, "I'll have you know I waited
seven days and seven nights trying to ambush him! "

"...You're fucking sick!"

"You're the one who's sick! You're the one who doesn't understand the power of love!" As she
yelled, her eyes began to tear up. "Ah, you don't even know; that evening, when I finally met
him, he came out from behind a fence, and looked at me－when our four eyes met, I heard a
bang in my head, like fireworks exploded. Now I've even figured out which sect our child should
study under in the future!"

The girl recounted her adventure passionately, as if she were trapped and couldn't free herself
from those honeyed memories: "And then, I rushed over in excitement, and told him－"

"Don't tell me you just directly told him that you liked him?" Xue Meng said incredibly.

"That's what you think? Wow, with an imagination that terrible, no wonder you've had to go on
these blind dates." The girl rolled her eyes at Xue Meng. "You've gotta be shocking, you've gotta
be provocative, you need to use overpowering rhetoric! With one phrase you need to capture
his attention and interest! Got it? So anyway, I told him－"

She took a deep breath, and with practiced enunciation she loudly vomited out two words: "I'm
pregnant."

Xue Meng: "...???"

"What the hell does that have to do with Mo Ran???"

"It has everything to do with him. It was his eyes, his gaze made me pregnant," she considrately
explained to her audience.

"....." Xue Meng sat frozen for a very long time, shocked by her mad energy. He didn't know
what to say. Finally, he asked in horror: "Did Mo Ran actually pay any attention to you?"

"Of course, I succeeded in using these words to attract the Emperor's attention. He was so
warm, not at all cold like I heard he was. He was even willing to take responsibility on his own
initiative!"
Xue Meng was once again shocked: "Wh-, what? He, he... What did he say?"

The girl covered her face shyly and said: "He asked me if I wanted an abortion? One tael for a
kick in the stomach, don't tell Chu Wanning."

"...."

Xue Meng's mouth twitched, and finally he couldn't help it anymore: "HAHAHAHAHA!!"

"What are you laughing at? He was willing to kick me! It's fate! As long as I'm sincere enough, I
won't believe that I can't be with Taxian-jun!"

Still laughing, Xue Meng stood up to stretch out his muscles. "Alright, c'mere, I can give you a
kick in place of Taxian-jun right now!"

"Ahh—"

Xue Meng finally couldn't stand this bleak, depressing blind date process anymore. With the pen
name of "Taobao Manor Destroyed My Youth", he successively left a hundred bad reviews for
the relief scroll on the "Ranking of Cultivation Instruments". Each bad review came with nearly a
thousand words of personal accounts, denouncing this tool that Manor Head Ma had refined.

However, what Xue Meng couldn't expect was that his writing was too full of his sincere
emotions, too full of his surging passions, which led to many in the cultivation world to fall over
themselves to read and spread his writings—

Of course, this was done in the spirit of mockery.

There was even a black-market businessman who copied his bad reviews and compiled them
into a book. Since it was officially published and sold on August 18, the black market bookseller
titled the book "818".1

The table of contents for the book are as follows:

"818's My Delicious Daddy"

"818's My Savage Cousin"

……

1
818 is internet slang for pieces of news on entertainment figures unearthed by gossip-mongers that
suddenly explode into the mainstream.
And so on and so forth.

Other people's trivial misfortunes will always arouse the interest of everyday people, so 818 for
a short while became the most popular black-market book on the streets. Many people even
called for the hero "Taobao Manor Destroyed My Youth" to go on even more dates, to bring
more happiness to everyone.

It was fortunate then that the book was soon banned by Jiang Xi.

Jiang Xi stared at the words "Delicious Daddy", and his eyes shone with sinister light: "What sort
of nonsense is all this. Burn it all."

"Yes, Sect Leader!"

A crowd of Gu Yue Ye's lackey disciples immediately bought all the 818s on the market, dug a
pit in the outskirts of Yangzhou, and set it all aflame.

818 burned, but the relief scroll kept selling out. Xue Meng was unbearably furious, until finally,
he secretly sent a letter signed with his real name to Manor Head Ma, angrily cursing out our
sincere, adorable, kind and innocent Manor Head Ma for ten thousand words straight.

But in fact, the letter only had one core meaning .—

Jieke Ma! You dog thief! What kind of cultivation instrument is this? Aren't you just spreading
human suffering? I'll tell you now, if I don't like your response to this letter, I'll end any
relationship between your Taobao Manor and my Sisheng Peak! Don't you even think about
getting my Shizun's machine armor diagrams!! Aagghhh!!!

When the sincere, adorable, kind and innocent Manor Head Ma received this letter, he was
happily counting money, and when he read its contents, he almost passed out in surprise.

How could this be!?

Breaking off their relationship is a trivial matter. That the one sending the letter was Xue Meng
was also a trivial matter. The non-trivial matter was that there was a customer dissatisfied with
his masterpiece!

Oh goodness, is that "818" not some fabrication that Gu Yue Ye made up to wickedly compete
with him? There really was someone in the world who hated him that much!

Manor Head Ma felt sad, and hiccuped through his sobs.

He also felt a bit depressed.

He would never allow any customer in the world to not be satisfied with his lovingly made relief
scroll. Never!!!

So Manor Head Ma pulled out his secret weapon—Shou Hou.

Shou Hou is the collective name for a group of disciples cultivating at Taobao Manor. Typically,
they're female disciples with soft voices, pretty faces, and good temperaments. The objective of
their cultivation that Manor Head Ma established for them was this: "To be able to grant a
customer long life (shou) after one conversation, and to be able to form a profound friendship
(hou) after one smile."

In short, Shou Hou.

Considering how angry Xue Meng was, the honorable and serious Manor Head Ma attached
great importance to this matter, and dared not neglect him. So he immediately sent the elder
Shou Hou Bu Shenqi to go in person to Sisheng Peak and Sect Leader Xue, so she can serve
his tea, pour his water, and massage his back and legs.2 All in all, the point was this:

Every effort must be made to restore Xue Meng's favor and provide customer satisfaction!

Nevertheless, the elder Shou Hou Bu Shengqi who had been appointed for this task didn't have
such a deep understanding of the situation as Manor Head Ma. She was a young, pampered,
timid,and pretty female cultivator who liked to play the coquette, and has great fear of Xue
Meng, who once ranked second on the cultivation world's rankings for arrogance. She was
terribly frightened of being hit by Sect Leader Xue...

Bu-guniang spent some time mired in her sadness. Soon afterwards, she told the story to a
cultivator she had recently met through the relief scroll.

It's no wonder that Bu-guniang confessed everything; this cultivator going by "Wang Mei Zhi Ke"
gave off an aura of extreme reliability.3 He was gentle and steady; he didn't lack wit, but he
wasn't frivolous. The intimacy teasing in his words was right on point: a bit more would have
been sleazy, a bit less would have been insipid. He was just like a perfectly brewed cup of tea;
everything just right.

And moreover, he was exceptionally considerate, and eager to help.

Once "Wang Mei Zhi Ke" heard of Bu-guniang's plight, he thought for a moment, and sent her
this message:

2
The characters in Bu Shenqi, 步深契, are pronounced the same as "不生气" or "Don't get mad"
3
Wang Mei Zhi Ke, "望梅止渴" is an idiom that translates to "Thinking of Plums Quenches the Thirst." You
get no points for correctly guessing who this is.
"Worry not. Let me settle this matter for you."

Bu Shengqi was enormously shocked and moved: "Really?"

Wang Mei-xianzhang's tone on the jade slip was as gentle and considerate as ever: "Of course,
a gentleman is a man of his word. Relax and leave Sect Leader Xue to me. I'll definitely make
him happy."

---

On that day, Xue Meng was cleaning off the dust that had accumulated at Red Lotus Pavilion.
Suddenly, a disciple came to report some news—

"Reporting! Sect Leader! Someone from Taobao Manor is requesting an audience!"

Recently Xue Meng had a headache whenever he heard the words "Taobao Manor". He wiped
off a file left behind by Chu Wanning and threw it into a bamboo canister. He said angrily, "Tell
him to get lost!"

"It, it's a woman!"

"So what if it's a woman?" His period of dating had led Xue Meng to once again recognize a
cardinal truth, that whether men or women, awful people were all the same. "You can tell her to
get lost too! I won't accept any more tools recommended by Taobao Manor. Tell them all to give
up already!"

Saying this, he began to wipe off Chu Wanning's qin stand.

"And you can tell her to report to Ma Yun, that even if I'm stuck only doing business with Jiang
Yechen in the future, that I still won't have any contact with his sect! Look at the disreputable
things they're doing! What a nuisance!"

The little disciple pitifully suffered the wrath of his sect leader, and at last he plaintively said: "But
she said she was one of Taobao Manor's Shou Hou disciples."

"Shou Hou disciple?" Xue Meng frowned, "What the hell is that?"

The little disciple: "I heard she's here to apologize..." He swallowed, and then recited, "Whether
rolled round or kneaded flat, her dimples are like flowers, here for your errands or your anger,
until you are satisfied, only then will she leave."

"....."
Xue Meng thought, so she's like a wooden board you break in martial arts practice?

Despite his heartfelt dissatisfaction, since she came to make amends, Xue Meng reluctantly
went out to meet her. Before leaving, he also told the disciple who was watching over the Red
Lotus Pavilion: "Hey, don't touch the qin stand I was cleaning. I'll go back to working on it when I
return."

After the guardian disciple assured him for the hundredth time that he wouldn't dare to move
even a speck of dust from Red Lotus Pavilion, Xue Meng finally felt reassured, put aside his
cleaning rag, and left.

When he arrived at Danxin Hall, he saw an unfamiliar female cultivator at the center of the hall.
She was dressed in silvery robes, with long pale brown hair that naturally curled at the ends,
held up with a white jade hairpin. Her skin was whiter than snow. Even indoors, she seemed to
emit a soft light.

She was at that moment crouching to tease Veggie Bun the orange cat. The fat cat, who
normally only looked at people with disdain, uncharacteristically liked her very much. He not
only graciously turned over his white belly for her approval, but also squinted his eyes and let
out a a satisfied purr.

Hearing someone approaching, Shou Hou-guniang turned her head. When she saw Xue Meng,
she immediately got up and, with both great warmth and shyness, smiled at him.

"Ah, Sect Leader Xue. It's an honor to finally meet you."

Xue Meng: "..."

Huh? Why did this person feel so familiar?

Xue Meng sized her up to make sure that she wasn't wearing an illusion sachet. If it wasn't an
illusion that caused him to get that sense, it was probably just a coincidence.

Her complexion was white, her eyes and hair were both rather pale, she had her facial features
gave off a profound sense of mystery, breathtaking and cold. But she has a pair of loving eyes
brimming with emotion that looked everywhere with great interest, and she posessed an air of
romantic yet unmalicious charm.

Xue Meng was a very picky person. From birth to now, the only woman who in his eyes he'd call
"beautiful" was his mother, Madame Wang.
But this Shou Hou...Even though Xue Meng felt she wasn't as good looking as his own self, he
had to say she wasn't too bad either.
The two looked at each other for a while, and when Shou Hou-guniang was just about to open
her mouth to introduce herself, Xue Meng suddenly raised his hand and said: "Wait a minute."

Then he went aside and said to the little disciple, "You, come here."

As soon as the little disciple approached, Xue Meng lowered his voice and asked: "You're sure
this Shou Hou is actually here to offer apologies?"

The little disciple didn't understand: "Y-, yes."

Xue Meng said gravely: "Isn't there a chance that Ma Yun is just deploying a beauty
strategically, so that by underhanded means he gets me to give up fighting for the victims of the
relief scroll?"

"....."

The disciple thought to himself, aren't you the only victim of the relief scroll? Everyone else has
been having a good time with it except you.

Also, "818" was really funny!

...
On second thought, he valued his life.

So the little disciple pumped his fist and cheered Xue Meng on: "Sect Leader, justice may come
late, but it will always come. Manor Head Ma using a beauty as strategy is nothing; even if
someone used all 36 Stratagems against you, you're still the upright and forthright Sect Leader
Xue! Believe in yourself, you can do it!"

Xue Meng was greatly inspired and moved when he heard this. He patted the young disciple on
the shoulder and said, "Well said! True gold isn't afraid of fire, true men aren't afraid of female
entanglements. Even if I let her grind me down, it'll never change my heart! I'll alienate her, be
cold to her, embarrass her, so that she'll make a tactical retreat and leave Sisheng Peak as
soon as possible!"

After he finished, he turned around and said aggressively to Shou Hou:

"What are you called?"

"Oh, me?" Shou Hou-guniang gently smiled, and said: "My lowly name isn't worth your ears. It is
enough for Sect Leader Xue to call me Shou Hou."
"...Ok!" Xue Meng waved his hand vigilantly and impatiently. "It's impossible for me to change
my view of the relief scroll. If that's your purpose for coming here, just go away so we don't
waste each other's time."

Shou Hou smiled indulgently and said: "Apologies are just one of many reasons I'm here. There
are so many Shou Hou disciples like me at Taobao Manor, I had to ask to come to Sisheng
Peak on my own initiative, not only for the relief scroll, but also because..."

She stared at Xue Meng with her pale eyes, and suddenly he felt that inexplicable familiarity
again. It felt like he was a rat being stared at by a cat. Goosebumps raised along his back, and
had a sudden dangerous sense that shortly he would become a toy for her amusement.

He was on guard and ready to drive her away from the mountain as soon as any excuse for it
arose, but suddenly, he saw Shou Hou's face widened with a smile full of boundless charms.

She warmly said: "Because Sect Leader Xue is the cultivation world's most remarkable, most
righteous, most generous, most spicy..."

"Wha-?"

"Cough, most striking cultivator." She seamlessly corrected herself without even blinking, then
continued smiling: "This one has admired you for a very long time, and has freely come with the
desire to keep you company."

Ch. 332 Xue Meng’s Tea-Selling Little Sister Blind Date 2

Translator’s note: Going forward, I’ll be denoting the older Mei Hanxue as “Mei HanXue” so
readers have a clearer idea of which one is which.

Also, I’ve made some translation choices in this chapter that aren’t quite appropriate to the
setting and are likely to age very poorly. But also, they’re funny and it’s my doc so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

On one hand, Xue Meng felt like he in no way needed female companionship.

On the other hand, Xue Meng felt that every word Shou Hou said was correct, and had no
aversion to such an honest woman.

It's said that "a raised hand can't strike a smiling face", and besides, she had been so
well-behaved and sincere that Xue Meng was momentarily too embarrassed to chase her away.
So he could only let her stay for a bit at Sisheng Peak, and let her "practice what I preach, and
represent Manor Head Ma in expressing our most sincere apologies to Sect Leader Xue."
A few days passed, and Shou Hou remained extraordinarily discreet. Without Xue Meng's
express permission, she never in any way fooled around, and actually deftly and peacefully
helped support Sisheng Peak.

Sisheng Peak was in fact quite busy. After the great war, even though the sect's standing rose
triumphantly, it still, as before, liked to take on errands like "Granny Wang's cat climbed up a
tree again and can't get down."

When Xue Meng was young, these tasks were usually handled by Shi Mei. Sometimes when
Mo Ran was bored he'd also take them. But after he took over the sect, he hoped that every
disciple could go out into the countryside and understand the concept that that good deeds, no
matter big or small, were all significant. So he asked the twenty elders of Sisheng Peak to line
up their disciples to undertake such piecemeal errands in turn.

It's Tanlang's turn this month.

Besides Chu Wanning, Tanlang has the fewest disciples. They were all chosen through his own
particular methods, so all those under him were also rather particular and rather odd.

These disciples would absolutely refuse to do things like leave the mountain to help Granny
Wang get her cat down. But they couldn't refuse direct requests from the sect leader, so they
normally just found some easy to bully junior disciple from Xuanji's group, and bribed them, or
threatened them with a beating, and bully Elder Xuanji's disciple into crying and doing these
trivial tasks for them.

For this reason, even though Xuanji was quite gentle, he'd had to go to Tanlang multiple times to
settle the score.

But with Shou Hou, everything was different.

Somehow, with just a few words, she managed to charm Tanlang's disciples into going down the
mountain to help, and even got them to leave with great cheer.

Besides resolving arguments, she helped Mengpo Hall's auntie make food, wiped down the
stone lions of Naihe Bridge, and catalogued the books in the library pavilion. She was willing to
do any errand, and did them well. From all the elders on high, down to Mengpo Hall's dog and
Madame Wang's cat, all those who had breath in them had only one thing to say about her:

"MeeOW!" said the cat.

"Bow-WOW!" said the dog.

"Wooooow..." said the people.

It was clear that Shou Hou has the wisdom and serenity befitting someone coming from a cohort
of da-shijie.

By the third day, Xue Meng couldn't sit still any longer.

He felt that this woman was quite skillful, so he could ask her for her advice. But he also felt he
had to save face, and he couldn't get himself to go to a young lady from another sect to discuss
such matters.

As he was deliberating, he heard from a nearby corridor the sound of some young disciples
whispering among themselves.

Disciple A: "Shou Hou-guniang is sooo beautiful. Sigh, but I don't know how long she can stay in
Sisheng Peak. If she could stay for three, five months, I have to pursue her!"

Disciple B rolled his eyes: "The toad wants to eat swan meat! Can't you see that Shou-guniang
clearly secretly admires our sect leader?"

Xue Meng was shocked! And just then, they walked around the corner. Xue Meng quickly raised
the sword manual in his hand to cover his face, meanwhile straining to listen in on their
conversation.

"Eh? Really?"

"Are you stupid? Look at when she talks to other people, she can't go three sentences before
she turns the subject to Sect Leader Xue. I think that besides helping out the sect, she's here for
two things."

"What two things?"

Disciple B lifted his finger: "First, to praise Sect Leader Xue. Second, to ask around about Sect
Leader Xue. See how blindly she's praising him? She says that our sect leader is handsomer
than Mo-zongshi, smarter than Manor Head Ma, richer than Jiang Yechen, and has a heart
kinder than Chu-zongshi...and worst of all, she said that his stature and height are both
excellent. You tell me if she seems blind or not!"

"???" Xue Meng was angry.

Everything she said was all undoubtedly true, you two are the blind ones!
"She's asking about everything, from his favorite foods to his recent mood. Yesterday I even
saw her asking Sect Leader about what he thinks about Mei Hanxue."

"Eh? Why does she want to to know our sect leader's feelings towards Mei Hanxue?"

"Obviously it's because Sect Leader and Mei da-shixiong are childhood friends. If you want to
get the measure of a man, you need to get the measure of the men around him. I think
Shou-guniang is set on him, so you better give up competing with the sect leader, because you
have no chance."

As they murmured, they walked away.

They left Xue Meng standing where he was, slowly lowering the sword manual covering his
face.

Although he thought Shou Hou wasn't as good-looking as he was, she was still quite a
remarkable girl, and now, now that that she was already praising him to death...

He should ask her to dinner, maybe ask her how she manages sect things... that wouldn't be
shameful, right?

This was certainly an idea he had.

With such an idea in mind, Xue Meng asked around for Shou-guniang's whereabouts. He heard
that she was in the library, so he tidied his clothes, cleared his throat, and walked in her
direction.

At this time, in the library:

Taobao Manor Shou Hou-guniang, Bu Shenqi's hero, master of the Yi Rong Technique, the one
nicknamed "Wang Mei Zhi Ke" — the one whose true identity is Kunlun Taxue Palace's
da-shixiong, the cultivation world's number one dandy—Mei Hanxue-xianjun, was just then
dedicating his focus to an antique book titled "Registry of Ancient Barriers".

This book was originally in Chu Wanning's Red Lotus Pavilion. After Chu Wanning's retirement
to Nanping, Xue Meng was asked to move all his books to the library for the disciples to study.
Along with "Registry of Ancient Barriers," the collection included numerous books such as
"Plantlife Records", "Journey to Shu", "Linyi Rufeng Sect Qin Scores" and so on.

As a music-focused cultivator, Mei Hanxue's interest in barrier techniques wasn't very high.
Reasonably speaking, he should have been looking through "Linyi Rufeng Sect Qin Scores, but
he didn't. Instead, he was perusing this cryptic, complex book on barriers with keen interest, and
from time to time, he would rub his chin and chuckle to himself, as if he deeply engaged with the
material.

And how could he not be?

Because in this volume of "Registry of Ancient Barriers" that Chu Wanning had left behind, there
was a pile of erotic art!

Mei Hanxue was keen, and naturally knew that these wouldn't be related to Chu Wanning. With
a little thought, he could make a general guess as to how they got there. Presumably, these ink
treasures must have been sneaked in by a naughty Mo Ran. The scene must have been
brilliant, and the idea of it made him gasp in admiration.

He had to say that Mo Ran was quite an ingenious young man. Mei Hanxue had spent so many
years making his way through the lovely flowers that normal beauty didn't even catch his eyes
anymore, yet he was deeply moved by Master Mo Weiyu's early authentic works.

What impressed him more was that this man dared to put such a lewd picture in Chu Wanning's
book, and lived to tell the tale. Truly an extraordinary man.

Mei Hanxue kept looking, and couldn't help but let out a breath of laughter.

Mo Ran truly was quite interesting. And Xue Ziming had been with him for so many years, yet
he hadn't been sullied by Mo Ran's filth - even more interesting.

"Being interesting" was one of the most important requirements for Mei Hanxue to have any
regard for a person. And ever since he met Xue Meng, he hadn't yet found anymore more
interesting to play with than him. In the eyes of Mei Hanxue, Xue Meng was too impulsive, too
impatient, too simple and forgetful. He was like a pufferfish; if someone sitting on land would
poke him, he'd immediately puff up in anger, but it wouldn't take too long for him to stupidly
forget what he was mad about, and go right back to strutting his fins in the water.

Mei Hanxue couldn't help but be like an addicted cat. He'd casually poke at him, and swat at
him, and the more angry Xue Meng became, the more he'd purr.

In the past, Xue Meng had asked him about this when he couldn't take it anymore: "Mei Hanxue,
are there any bad feelings between us?"

Mei Hanxue thought, you are my son of my benefactor, of course there aren't any bad feelings.
But there is indeed an old debt that you seem to have forgotten.

Yes. Xue Meng couldn't remember that when they first met as children, he had done something
so evil that Mei Hanxue still fumed—
He made Mei Hanxue wear women's clothes.

At that time, Mei Hanxue was a chubby-cheeked child with stubby, round limbs. He had come
with his Shizun and a group of people from Mingyue Tower to Sisheng Peak. It was winter, and
he wore a fluffy white fur cap and heavy robes. The cap was slightly too big, and always slid
sideways, covering his pale golden hair and his blue eyes, so that Xue Meng didn't even notice
the little disciple with the foreign face.

It was the first time Mei Hanxue left Taxue Palace to go to another sect. At that time, he was
young and a newcomer to this land, and because his words always came out in a broken accent
and he didn't want to be laughed at, he simply didn't say anything. Standing in the corner with
his pale golden eyelashes drooped, it was the complete opposite from his honeypot future self.

So how did the feud between him and Xue Meng start?

Everything else was fine, but it was all the fault of the heavy mist at Miaoyin Pool.

There were many hot springs near Kunlun Taxue Palace, and the disciples were used to bathing
in them. Mei Hanxue was the same.

That evening, he wanted to take Mei HanXue to take a bath in Miaoyin Pool. But after waiting
and waiting, Mei HanXue still hadn't returned to their room, so he had to go to the baths by
himself.

After taking off his outer robe, leaving him only in thin white undergarments, Mei Hanxue
realized that he didn't know where to put his clothes. So he simply piled them on top of his
golden hair and walked onto the flower-strewn cobbled path. When he came to the springs, he
suddenly heard a childish and wildly energetic voice.

"Shi Mei, you should get more sunshine. You've already been at Sisheng Peak so long, but
you're still this tiny! Look at how swole I am! Sigh, I'm worried about what you'll look like when
you grow up... what if you end up like Wuchang Town's shaobing seller Uncle Wu, who's even
shorter than his wife?"4

Then there was a soft, gentle voice: Shaozhu is naturally the best looking, how could I compare
with you?"

Mei Hanxue wasn't very good at Mandarin at that time. He didn't understand that Shaozhu
meant "young master"; If he could understand it, he would know that this was the son of his

4
Shaobing is a kind of baked flatbread. See:https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shaobing
benefactor. Unfortunately, because he didn't know the meaning, he thought that "Shao Zhu" was
this person's name.

Having just been complimented, Xue Meng felt quite happy and satisfied, so he encouraged Shi
Mei: "I like your honest enthusiasm, but you need to get taller! Just learn from me. Every day I
get lots of sun, so you should do it too, and when I drink milk, you should drink with me! Never
give up!"

"But I'm afraid—"

"Ehh, what are you afraid of? Believe in me who believes in you! If in the future you really do
end up short like Uncle Wu, then I'll have to cover you. When we see a bad guy you can hide
behind me, how about that?"

Shi Mei laughed at his teasing: "Then I'll have to thank Shaozhu in advance."

"Look at how you're talking! We're all disciples, stop being so polite."

Mei Hanxue listened in as he approached. Just then he could see clearly that there were two
children just about his age in the small hot spring pool, covered in wild flowers. One was slim
and breathtakingly lovely, with red lips and white teeth and skin the color of pear blossoms. The
other one's back was towards him, and he couldn't see his face. But what Mei Hanxue thought
was absolutely ridiculous was that this boy, even when bathing, bound his hair with one of
Sisheng Peak's shining silvery guan.5

Did he forget to take it off or did he keep wearing it on purpose?

Are people in Shu really so strange?

Before he finished his thought, Shi Mei in the pool noticed him. When he saw that it was a
stranger, he immediately gave an alert: "Shaozhu, look behind you..."

"Look at what?" The child with his back to him followed Shi Mei's gaze and turned his head.

— That was the first time in his life that Mei Hanxue saw Xue Meng.

But this meeting was truly doomed by fate. At the moment Xue Meng turned around, the mists
of Miaoyin Pool settled over them. Mei Hanxue could see Xue Meng's face clearly, but Xue
Meng didn't have time to do the same. He only saw that this person's skin was very white, his
eyes were very big, and his facial features were very deep.

5
A "guan" is the headdress that men traditionally used to bind their hair. You can read more about them
and see examples here:
https://ziseviolet.tumblr.com/post/141929771902/hi-i-was-just-wondering-if-you-have-had-a-post
He felt this was probably a girl.

As luck would have it, Chu Wanning had just been peeked at by his female disciples while
bathing in the Red Lotus Pavilion, and Xue Meng immediately thought of this incident. With a
screech, he yelled: "Help! Someone come quick!! It's happening again! Quick, someone catch
this dirty peeper!!!"

"Ah, friend, I am not dirty, I just...just..." Mei Hanxue's Mandarin at that time wasn't fluent, and
when he was nervous, it went all over the place.

He wanted to say that he had gotten hot during sword practice, and he was covered in sweat,
and looking to cool down.

But when he couldn't remember how to say all this, he lowered his head and tried to think,
"Look...look....looking...."

Xue Meng was scandalized: "You admit it! You're sneaking into other people's baths to look at
them?!"

Mei Hanxue bowed his head and kept trying: "Hot....hot....hot...."

"Thot?!" Xue Meng rolled his tongue and imitated him, and sounded like he wanted to vomit. He
grew even more shocked, and on top of that, furious.

"How dare you call me a thot?! I know I'm good looking, but how dare you!! Shi Mei, back me
up!"

Shi Mei hurriedly coaxed him with his soft voice: "Y-, yes..."

Actually, Xue Meng wasn't quite comfortable showing this "girl peeper" the muscles that he
hadn't actually developed yet: "Look at my arms, my legs... I'm as swole as my dad! Take a look
at how beautiful Xue men are!"

Mei Hanxue didn't understand, and he was still thinking seriously about how to say that he felt
hot enough to be boiling and was covered in sweat, and just wanted a bath: "But..."

His Mandarin was truly not great.

Xue Meng stopped his flexing mid-motion: "...You want to see my butt?"

Mei Hanxue finally got it. He clapped his hands and said happily, "But! But here for bath!"
".....'' Xue Meng stood there dumbly for a very long time. his face turned green, his mouth
opened and closed, but he couldn't get a word out. At last, he suddenly launched a chunk of
soap at Mei Hanxue, and exploded like a volcano: "Guards!! Why aren't you here yet!! Get this
dog thief!!!!"

"Yes!"

Mei Hanxue was still a little confused when he was dragged down to the ground.

…..?

He was hot and just wanted to take a bath. Why was he a dirty peeper?

Thinking about it, the child next to Shao Zhu was called Shimei. The meaning of Shimei in
Mandarin was that she was a younger girl disciple.

Mei Hanxue had a realization－

Ah... at Kunlun, boys couldn't bathe with girls. Could it be that in Shu, boys couldn't take baths
with other boys?

Ch. 333 Xue Meng’s Tea-Selling Little Sister Blind Date 3

Warning: attempted assault

On the day they met for the first time at Miaoyin Pool, due to the confusion of the scene, there
were some details that Mei Hanxue couldn't recall clearly. But in short, because of how
inarticulate, laborious, and stuttering his speech was, he was unable to defend himself, and
finally he was thrown by the righteous shixiong of Sisheng Peak into Yanluo Hall to repent.

Between their pushes and shoves, Mei Hanxue's own robes were also lost in Miaoyin Pool.

His clothes were flimsy, his long pale golden hair hung loose, and he stared with his jasper
eyes. Helplessly standing in the hall, beneath the words "Reflect On Your Loyalty, Unchanging
In Life Or Death," he felt terribly wronged.

"Let me out..."

Everyone treated the young scoundrel harshly, and nobody let him out. But after a while, a
shixiong of Sisheng Peak came to give him clothes, saying that "Shaozhu gave these for you,"
and additionally handed him a book.
Mei Hanxue unfolded the clothes, and saw they were a female disciple's robes.

Then he looked at the book, and saw that it was a volume of "Female Virtues".

"....."

To tell you the truth, Mei Hanxue had always been a very tolerant person, and not easy to anger,
but this time his throat knotted up so tightly he choked on it.

He knew that Suiye City had its own Suiye City customs, Taxue Palace had it own Taxue Palace
regulations, and that Shu had its own Shu practices. For example, he hated eating pork, but
before they left, their Shizun at Mingyue Tower warned them that the human world had a
hundred different types of people, that they were all different, and that perhaps something he
hated was something that someone else loved. Thus, Mei Hanxue has always respected
others—for example, he would never jump around and yell "gross!" in front of someone from the
Central Plains who was happily eating roast pig's foot.

Although he would feel disgusted inside, he would still courteously pass salt and pepper over to
the person.

And then he would go home and wash his hands a hundred times.

But this "Shao Zhu" didn't know how to respect differences at all; not only was he not aware that
"to have friends come from afar, isn't that a delight?", but he even sent women's clothes and
"Female Virtues" to humiliate him—

Didn't he just go into the wrong bathhouse? Couldn't they have talked it out? Why did they need
to fix things so roughly?

Mei Hanxue, a foreigner venturing into the outside world for the first time, couldn't understand it,
and didn't want to think about it anymore, so he just stuffed his anger back in his heart.

It was nighttime, and terribly cold, and he only had on a thin inner robe that was stained with
mud. Despite his humiliation, a good man knew better than to fight against insurmountable
odds, and eventually he put on the clothes that "Shao Zhu" gave him.

As for the book of "Female Virtues", he didn't hesitate in throwing it into the fire. The moment the
fire lit up, Mei Hanxue thought darkly: he will remember today's disgrace, and if that "Shao Zhu"
ever lands in his hands, he'd kill him himself!

However, the next morning was even more embarrassing.

According to the rules set down for the two brothers by Mingyue Tower for this time, he would
show his face one day, and the next day would be his brother Mei HanXue's turn.

Mei HanXue came to Yanluo Hall to look for him. When he went to exchange identities, he saw
him wearing blue and silver female disciple's robes from Sisheng Peak, his blond hair loosely
tied, sitting in a small dark corner.

Mei HanXue: "... What are you wearing?"

Mei Hanxue answered: "Ge, this is what you should be wearing today."

"..."

"Come on, I've enjoyed them all night. These clothes actually smell pretty nice. Let's change
quickly."

"Mei Hanxue!" The older brother angrily said, "What trouble did you get into again when I wasn't
around?"

Mei Hanxue sometimes felt that his brother's life was really too tragic. Maybe it was just bad
luck, but every time he fell into a bad situation, the one who always ended up cleaning up the
mess was his brother.

The same is true this time.

The rage he felt at being forced into women's clothes to stew in Yanluo Hall for an entire night
was justified, but the persecution his brother would suffer at the hands of "Shao Zhu" made it
even more severe, because according to the arrangements of Yanluo Hall's guards, today his
brother had to go out to the library to wipe down the books.

When Mei HanXue was forced into that blue and silver female disciple's uniform, Mei Hanxue
thought he might go crazy.

At that time, the younger brother truly felt that "if that Shao Zhu ever lands in his hands, he'd kill
him himself."

When the older brother heard the whole story, he made a small deletion for his younger brother,
and removed the "if".

Mei HanXue said frostily: "You wait here. After I finish wiping down the books, I'll kill him."

Then he stepped to the library on his short little legs.

At that time, Kunlun Taxue Palace had several arrogant, bullying shixiong who came along with
Minyue Tower to visit Sisheng Peak. Because the Sect Leader favored Mei Hanxue, they had a
very unfavorable view towards him. One of them was especially awful; as soon as he heard that
Mei-shidi had been disciplined by Sisheng Peak, he sprang towards the library to rubberneck.

Seeing that Mei-shidi actually wore a girl disciple's clothes, and stood on a small wooden ladder
wiping books with a face that looked like it was made of the most bitter frost, he couldn't help but
scream with laughter. And then, he called over his posse of scoundrel friends to join in
humiliating him.

"Isn't this Mei-shidi....ah, no, it should be Mei-shimei! You look quite lovely, hahahaha!"

"How did you provoke the people of Sisheng Peak to make them bully you like this?"

"Tell Shige who this person is, Buahahaha, Shige will present flowers to that man!"

Mei HanXue was cold-natured and not fond of nonsense. Having been provoked, he
immediately tried to hit back. However, he was still too small, and hadn't learned too many
techniques. With one of him facing a group of them, this group of intractable thugs managed to
press him into the ground.

These people didn't know that Mei Hanxue was actually a pair of twin brothers, so they yelled:

"What's wrong with you? How come one day you're nice and polite and the next you're
screaming about killing people? Do you need your Shixiong to come fix up that brain of yours?"

"Strip him. He's from our Taxue Palace, so why should he wear clothes from Sisheng Peak?"

During the struggle, he suddenly heard the hum of a passing blade. A long scimitar, shining like
snow, had been suddenly thrown deep into the wooden floors!

"What do you think you're doing!"

The group of scum from Kunlun Taxue Palace were shocked, and suddenly dispersed, turning
their heads—

"Xue, Xue Meng?!"

On hearing this name, Mei HanXue shook aside the messy blond hair covering his pale eyes,
and lifted his gaze.
He saw a half-grown boy standing in the library's doorway, his arms crossed. His face was
elegant, his aura domineering. He wore a full set of Sisheng Peak silver-blue armor, his hair in a
ponytail, and a black finger guard, which was impatiently tapping his crossed arms.

Xue Meng said, ill-tempered: "Bullying people in my Sisheng Peak, did you get permission from
my father? Have you asked my Shizun? Have you asked me??"

The disciples of Kunlun Taxue Palace obsequiously laughed: "Aiya... this, this is just us teaching
a disobedient shidi a lesson..hehe....hehehe..."

"You call this a lesson?" Xue Meng stared, and he pointed at Mei HanXue. "Shouldn't this be
called group of strong young men ganging up on a single weak person?"

"Ye-yes....you're right..."

Xue Meng said angrily: "What are you doing still poking around here? Scram!"

This group was all made of bullies, and, Xue Meng, after all, was the son of the Sect Leader.
How could they dare provoke him? They immediately bowed and bent, and scattered, flapping
away like birds.

Xue Meng had a serious look on his face, and placed his steel-reinforced boots into the wooden
floors until they creaked. Then he raised his hand and grasped Longcheng. He wanted to pull it
out in a cool manner, but when he pulled with one hand, it didn't budge.

Xue Meng had to cough lightly in embarrassment, use both his hands with great force, and
breathe from his core. Only then could he pull the sword, which was just about as tall as he was,
out of the ground.

He staggered back two steps.

Xue Meng: "..."

Mei HanXue: "..."

Xue Meng coughed awkwardly again and turned to look at Mei HanXue.

He didn't recognize that this was yesterday's "dirty peeper" from Miaoyin Pool. Mei HanXue
naturally didn't recognize him either. They looked at each other for a moment. Xue Meng saw
that his golden hair was messy, the corner of his mouth was bloodied, and his clothes were torn
into unrecognizable shreds. Only a thin robe of raw silk specially made by Kunlun Taxue Palace
remained on his body. Xue Meng couldn't help wrinkling his brows.
"Despicable."

Saying this, he took off his own outer robe, and draped it over Mei HanXue's shoulders.

"Put this on."

Mei HanXue, draped in Xue Meng's robes, raised his head and looked carefully at this child's
face. He didn't think he looked at all like his benefactor Xue Zhengyong. His face was small and
delicate, his nose pointed, the black and white of his apricot eyes were clear and distinct, and
he carried himself with a certain natural brilliance and pride.

He said hesitantly: "So you're...Xue Meng?"

"I am." Xue Meng said, pleased with himself. "What do you think of my skills? Do you think my
reputation's well deserved?"

Then he is indeed the son of his benefactor.

Mei HanXue wanted to thank him, but then he heard Xue Meng laugh, and say his next
sentence: "Ever since this Shaozhu has gone out into the world, no one has managed to best
me!"

"....."

"You're Shao Zhu?"

Xue Meng: "? Obviously?"

---

"Isn't Shao Zhu a person's name?" That night, after Mei HanXue returned to his room, Mei
Hanxue asked him, astonished: "How did he become our benefactor's son?"

As the older brother was steadier than his younger brother, he silently pulled from their luggage
a book titled "Suiye Kunlun and Mandarin Translation Guide". The two brothers sat together and
read the book under the light of a lamp.

"Shaozhu." Mei Hanxue pointed his finger and read word for word, "Refers to a young master. It
can also refer to when there is an adult master; the one that he designates as his heir is the
Shaozhu."

Mei Hanxue: "..."

Mei HanXue: "..."

They fell into a long silence. After a long time, Mei Hanxue asked:

"So does that mean we can't kill him?"

The elder brother pondered this for a bit. He looked down at the outer robe he was wearing,
lowered his long pale golden eyelashes, and said coldly: "What do you think?"

Mei Hanxue sighed, his blue eyes like those of an exotic cat: "Okay okay, I see."

"....."

"But bullying him a bit should be okay right?"

"No."

"Ge, look, you saw how he bullied me yesterday."

"No."

"He also made you wear a female disciple's clothes!"

Mei HanXue was silent for a bit, and finally gave his brother five words: "... Fine. Don't go too
far."

Later on during that time, Mei Hanxue would often take the initiative to find Xue Meng. Slowly,
the two children became playmates.

But to Mei Hanxue, Xue Meng was far too dumb. One day it was his brother, one day it was him,
yet Xue Meng never felt that something was off, only that he was temperamental. On the
contrary, that little shidi called Shi Mei, nicknamed Xue Ya, always looked like he felt something
was off, and would look at him thoughtfully.

Mei Hanxue didn't like people who were as coldly intelligent as Shi Mei. Someone like Xue
Meng who walked sideways like a crab, but whose head wasn't too bright, that kind of person
was the type he liked to befriend, and who was fun to tease.

The only problem was—

"You're not allowed to sleep with me today!"

"Ah?" Mei Hanxue held a bamboo pillow, dressed in his silk sleeping robes, with his soft blond
hair hanging down, and stared widely with his sea-like eyes: "Why?"

Xue Meng was furious: "Because you kicked me out of bed in the middle of the night last night!
Did you forget?"

Mei Hanxue: "..."

Didn't his brother say he wouldn't bully Xue Meng? Why would he kick someone out of bed in
the middle of the night?

Mei Hanxue smiled. Although he had yet to grow up, and hadn't yet developed his later stunning
looks, there was already a trace of Mei-gongzi in this smile.

"I won't do it tonight. I'll sleep on the outside, and if you still don't trust me, I can stick to you
while you sleep."

Mei Hanxue's intentions were good. He wanted to sleep with Xue Meng. If Xue Meng fell out,
then he would fall out too; close brothers should share all trials and tribulations.

But the problem was that Mei Hanxue's Mandarin still wasn't good, so although he wanted to
say "stick to," what Xue Meng heard was－

If you still don't trust me, I can lick you while you sleep.

Li-...licking?

Xue Meng was stunned, and after picturing that image, he couldn't help throwing a tiger pillow at
him:6 "Aaahh! Why are you Kunlun people so perverted? Get out of here!!!"

It was because the young Mei Hanxue had suffered so many times from Xue Meng not
understanding his stuttering words that he, from a very early point, understood what a splendid
subject speech was. And so, every time he had the chance, he would take the initiative to talk to
girls from the Central Plains. These girls were generally more patient than men, and were willing
to teach him, but they would occasionally cry to him:

"I don't think you like me at all! You're with me just to learn Mandarin!"

But that was all in the past.

6
Cloth tiger pillow: a kind of common handicraft for children. They’re really cute! For examples, see here:
https://www.taobao.com/list/product/%E6%89%8B%E5%B7%A5%E8%80%81%E8%99%8E%E6%9E%9
5%E5%A4%B4.htm
Thinking about those past incidences, Mei Hanxue laughed. As he curled his hands around his
mouth to hide his laughter, he heard the door creak. He turned his head in search of the sound.
Backlit by the sun, Xue Meng seemed to be full of arrogance, yet he also seemed somewhat at
a loss as he walked towards him.

"Cough...um, hello."

With no anger at all, Mei Hanxue smiled, lowered his legs that had been resting on the shelf, sat
up straight, and smiled: "Ah, the Sect Leader has come to visit."

Xue Meng coughed: "Yes."

"Does the Sect Leader have something he wishes to discuss with me?"

"...uhhh...."

"Yes?"

Xue Meng didn't speak, and just stalled, and looked at him, and slowly, his face turned red.

"..." Mei Hanxue's smile froze, and he began to have some hesitance. ".....?"

He has read countless people, both men and women. Multitudes of these cultivators would have
cheeks that bloomed with rosy clouds upon seeing him－he had a very clear idea of what the
meaning of this was.

But he never thought that Xue Meng would cast this kind of look upon the crossdressed him.

The Xue Ziming he was familiar with wasn't this kind of person.

Xue Ziming was arrogant and honest, brimming with honor and lacking in brains. He had never
known how to do well with girls, and the thing he liked to do most daily, besides practicing
martial arts, was probably admiring himself in the mirror.

To blush at a female cultivator; did he take the wrong medicine?

Even if this particular "female cultivator" was one he created himself, Mei Hanxue still felt
strange. It reminded him of a snow-white Persian cat that he had once raised at Taxue Palace.
He had cared for it from when it was a tiny kitten until it was grown, and always thought it was
stupid and cute, and so he believed that it would always remain stupid and cute.

Until one day, he saw his Persian cat mating with a wild cat. No, not just one, there were two
piled on top, and a third cat watching them do this incredible feat from the side.
Mei Hanxue was shocked. He couldn't comprehend what he was seeing. What happened?
Where did the innocent, adorable, silly little kitten he raised go?

Faced with the scarlet-cheeked Xue Meng, Mei Hanxue felt that his mood now seemed to
delicately coincide with his mood back then.

Seeing Xue Meng's face getting more embarrassed and awkward, repeatedly biting his lips only
to release them, as if he wanted to speak but kept stopping himself, Mei Hanxue began to think
about how he should gently let him down if Xue Meng really opened his mouth to confess to
"Shou Hou".

Should he tell him that "she" actually liked women, or that "she" has a terminal illness and would
probably suddenly die in the next several months?

— These were the kind of words that he would use when he needed to dump a woman. He'd
said these things so many times that he could make the words rain from his mouth like a deluge
of heavenly flowers, but this time, for some reason, he felt a little faint.

As he struggled with his tangled thoughts, he heard Sect Leader Xue say, blushing: "Cough...
that..."

"...."

"That is, you've been at Sisheng Peak for a while now, and I have something that I wanted to
ask you."

“...Sect Leader, please.” Mei Hanxue's face was very calm and gentle, but his brain was
buzzing.

What should I do? How to answer? Do I like women, or am I terminally ill? Am I terminally ill, or
do I like women?

Xue Meng awkwardly started speaking: "I, I just wanted to ask..."

"Yes?"

"Ahem." Xue Meng gritted his teeth and stamped his feet. Filled with determination, he
sacrificed his need to save face, clenched his fists, and shouted out in one breath: "Excuse me!
How did you manage to rub Veggie Bun's belly without getting scratched???"
Ch. 334 Xue Meng’s Tea-Selling Little Sister Blind Date 4
Warning: do not trust random danmei characters to give good cat care advice! Do not use their
bad cat care advice to harass the innocent!

Mei Hanxue: "..."

Xue Meng was a red as the clouds over a sunset.

Mei Hanxue couldn't help but raise his brows: "... Is that all? "

"Ah..." Xue Meng pondered for a moment, and remembered problem. "Oh yeah, how did you
keep Tanlang and Xuanji's disciples from fighting?"

Mei Hanxue: "........."

Forgive him, he had thought too highly of Xue Meng.

Even though he had read thousands of people, he had definitely never seen a man as
exquisitely focused as Xue Meng.

Sect Leader Xue's life really did revolve completely around physical strength.

But in spite of this, Mei Hanxue was patient, telling him how he mediated between Tanlang and
Xuanji's disciples, and began to share his knowledge of animal training with Xue Meng.

"Cats are animals that have to be disciplined. The more you indulge them, the less they take
you seriously."

Mei Hanxue smiled lightly, and wore a gentle face and spoke in a kind tone, but he also gave off
a vague sense that he treated all living beings with indifference: "Sect Leader, just because you
think it's cute, doesn't mean you can freely spoil it. You need to control it between the palms of
your hands, bully it, let it know that it can't get the better of you. Only in this way will this fluffy
little one naturally become obedient."

"... But won't it run away?"

Mei Hanxue laughed and said: "Can't you chase it?"

"Can't it hide?"

"Can't you find it?"

"Can't it bite?"
"Can't you hit it?"

During this back-and-forth Xue Meng saw that her face was smiling, yet for some reason he
developed goosebumps. He swallowed the knot in his throat and then said: "... You haven't hit
Veggie Bun, have you?"

"Hah!" Mei Hanxue clasped her hands, held them to her mouth, and smiled even more brilliantly:
"Sect Leader Xue is truly an honorable man. I was joking. I've always encouraged people to
take the bait willingly. I would never forced anyone to do anything."

With this, Xue Meng relaxed a bit. Otherwise, he would have really felt that Shou Hou was
terrifying.

After Mei Hanxue stopped laughing, he raised his pale eyelashes, and with an air of puzzlement
in his shadowed eyes, he began to speak, as if guiding Xue Meng down a new path: "But Sect
Leader, now that you mention it...Taobao Manor has a unique technique for disciplining cats. Do
you have any interest in learning about it?"

As a martial arts enthusiast, Xue Meng was exceptionally curious about anything that was
labeled a "unique technique". Mo Ran once had a suspicion that if he ever wanted to drag the
incomparably pure Xue Ziming into reading porn, as long as he titled them things like "Unique
Techniques For Amorous Feelings" and "Unique Techniques For Romantic Encounters," said
person would argumentatively and obstinately take the bait.

Mei Hanxue smiled and said: "Well, would you like to learn?"

"....."

"It's quite a difficult technique to come by. If it weren't for the fact that I admire you so much, I
would never so lightly reveal it to outsiders."

Xue Meng couldn't resist the temptation of both the cat's fluffy white belly and the two words
"unique technique". Finally, he became tangled up in Mei Hanxue's dubious trap, hardened his
face, and coughing, said: "Cough, well, since you asked me so sincerely...then...I guess I could
try it out."

Thus, Mei Hanxue began his lecture.

"First of all, all cats have a certain natural instinct." Mei Hanxue gazed at Xue Meng and said
with profound meaning: "As the saying goes, 'curiosity kills the cat'. Every cat's soft spot is
related to that overly inquisitive nature and that and heart that is unwary of danger."
Xue Meng stared, hungry for knowledge: "Really?"

"Yes." Mei Hanxue raised one slender, graceful finger. "You see, if people just stretch out a
finger in front of them, nine out of ten of these little ones can't help coming closer to take a sniff.
Then you just quickly grab them, press them to the ground, lift open their legs, and then they'll
go weak and start yowling..."

Mei Hanxue had intended to make a disastrous statement to provoke Xue Meng into screaming
and flailing.

Unfortunately, even wise men make mistakes. The exceptionally pure Xue Meng didn't
understand that the exceptionally dirty Mei Hanxue was teasing him. He listened attentively and
asked, "Wouldn't it be unhappy then?"

"....." Mei Hanxue wasn't successful in his teasing, but he wasn't discouraged, and smiled. "Yes."

"So what then?"

"Coax it."

Xue Meng waved his hand: "It's no use. It can't understand human speech."

Mei Hanxue said: "Speech is empty. Once you start moving, the kitty will start to find it
pleasurable and stop resisting. Instead, it'll find that it's no longer enough, adjust its body to
better fit yours, and start to vocalize how nice it feels... have you tried this before?"

Xue Meng held his chin and pondered: "So they'll start to make a snoring sound?"

Mei Hanxue, looking at his ignorant appearance, found that his itch to tease him was growing
ever stronger. He couldn't help laughing and said: "Yes, that's what cats sound like."

"But every time I touch its stomach, it resists. At most, I can touch its chin."

"That's because your technique wasn't correct, and you didn't pamper it properly. Mei Hanxue's
soft eyelashes twitched. After a while, he said gently: "If the Sect Leader doesn't mind, may I
take the liberty of teaching you hands on?"

"Uh...."

Although propriety stated there shouldn't be direct contact between men and women,
exceptions could be made in order to provide practical instruction and to clarify any confusion.
And Xue Meng saw that Shou Hou-guniang, so gentle and refined, so dignified yet warm, was
an honorable person. He hesitated for a moment, but then nodded.
Nevertheless, when Mei Hanxue started to raise his hand, Xue Meng still shouted in a rush:
"Wait! Wait, hold on a second!"

"What's wrong?"

"I, I want to be straight with you, I'm just here to learn how to pet a cat, and I have no intention of
taking advantage of you!"

"..." Mei Hanxue laughed: "Alright."

And I definitely, absolutely have no intention of doing anything physically immoral!

Mei Hanxue laughed so hard his ribs almost broke, and his eyes were brimming with tears when
he finally got out: "Why are you so nervous? If nothing else, I'm still a disciple of Taobao Manor,
which is a decent, honorable sect. I don't plan on playing immortal jump, let alone make you
take responsibility for my honor after just a few touches. Sect Leader, is there any need to be so
fierce?"

Xue Meng cleared his throat with embarrassment: "Cough, okay then... I guess we can get
started."

Mei Hanxue shifted to the side, made a space for Xue Meng, and said: "Sect Leader, please
come closer first."

When Xue Meng approached, Mei Hanxue raised his hand and said seriously: "Look, when you
see a cat, you should first approach it slowly, and let it freely sniff your fingertip out of curiosity."
Saying this, his fingertip brushed Xue Meng's nose, paused for a moment, then slid down to fall
on Xue Meng's chin, "and then, you can gently scritch it a little."

Mei Hanxue knew Xue Meng's temperament, so he didn't make too much contact, only giving
him the slightest touch. He snickered in his heart: Aiyah, so Xue Meng didn't slap his hand
away.

Not only didn't he strike out, but probably because Mei Hanxue's "Shou Hou" performance was
too honest, Xue Meng didn't even think to be suspicious, and even copied him in touching his
own chin a few times.

"Like this?"

"Use a bit more force."

"How about this?"

"You can't always use the same strength. There's one very good technique, called Nine Shallow
One Deep.7 Once you learn it, you'll find it impossible to give up.

"...What kind of technique is this? How come I've never heard of it before?"

Mei Hanxue held back a laugh: "This is a highly advanced skill, ordinary technique guides
wouldn't have it."

Xue Meng was annoyed: "You're kidding me. I'm the Sect Leader of the majestic Sisheng Peak,
do you really think there are advanced skills out there I haven't seen?"

"...I guarantee that you haven't seen this one before."

Xue Meng refused to accept this and raised his black eyebrows: "How do you know I haven't?
Show me! Let's duke it out!"

Mei Hanxue: "I am indeed quite proficient in this particular skill, but I'm afraid it would be
disrespectful if I were to recklessly use it on the Sect Leader."

After a pause, he saw that Xue Meng still stubbornly looked like he wanted to fight. If they
continued down this road, he was afraid he might let something slip; thus, Mei Hanxue giggled
and said: "Sect Leader, there's no need for you to concern yourself so much with this skill. Nine
Shallow One Deep is a bit of a cheat, and not something that can be learned by everyone. It just
doesn't suit some people physically. I personally think that although your Shizun, Chu-zongshi,
has experienced a masterful version of this many times, his nature might prevent him from being
able to practice it himself.

When he said this, Xue Meng reluctantly gave up, but he still grumbled: "Since my Shizun didn't
learn it, it can't be anything that amazing."

Mei Hanxue laughed and said: "Chu-zongshi doesn't know it, but Mo-zongshi is almost certainly
quite skilled at it."

"?" Xue Meng's eyes grew wider. "Mo Ran? How come I've never heard of him knowing
something like this?"

Mei Hanxue, motivated by a desire to watch the world burn, smiled, eyes crinkling, and said:
"He who has treasure won't show it easily. Next time you see him, why don't you ask him if the
sensation of using this technique isn't something especially wonderful."

7
*SIGH*. If you've read the MDZS extras, you may have already encountered this Nine Shallow One
Deep, which is a thrusting technique during intercourse that is said to bring a great amount of pleasure to
the receptive partner.
Xue Meng was suspicious, but he kept this matter in mind, and decided to ask Mo Ran when he
had the opportunity next time he saw him. What on earth is this Nine Shallow One Deep skill?
So mysterious.

The two of them spent some time practicing the proper technique for petting a cat. Xue Meng
scritched himself a few times, more-or-less grasping the appropriate strength to use, and asked
happily: "Not bad! I got it. Now what?"

"Then," Mei Hanxue's white jade fingertip slowly slid down and finally landed on Xue Meng's
stomach, hovering over the silver lion's-head armor at his waist. "Then, you've made the cat feel
good, and so it'll lie down and show you its white belly, which means that it's starting to trust
you."

"So now I can touch it?"

"Not yet." Mei Hanxue smiled: "Be patient. You have to do like I'm doing, and stop just around
its belly without actually making contact."

As he spoke, his hand gently, languidly wandered around the area of Xue Meng's stomach. As
time went by, Xue Meng began to feel a little tense, and stared at the hand, not knowing when
exactly it would actually touch him. But even after quite a long while, "Shou Hou"-guniang still
kept her distance, and so he slowly let down his guard.

"Just like this."

Xue Meng nodded: "...Oh..."

Unexpectedly, at this very moment, Mei Hanxue suddenly took hold of his waist, pulled him
close, and laughed: "Then, you just surprise it, and take—"

Mei Hanxue didn't have time to finish saying how he would be taken.

Because Xue Meng, gobsmacked at having been suddenly grabbed by the waist, wasn't able to
adequately defend against this trick. He was pulled foward, and was thrown against Mei
Hanxue, sending them both tumbling.

"Fuck!"

"....." Mei Hanxue felt a weight pressing directly on him. Accustomed to acting protectively
towards the fairer sex, he instinctively embraced Xue Meng, and held him on top. Unsteady, the
two of them fell to the ground.
There was a loud, muffled thump.

The thin layer of dust covering every surface of the library puffed up in a cloud, choking Xue
Meng and making him cough uncontrollably, his eyes tearing up. The library's ancient wooden
floorboards creaked and groaned under their weight. Like a perplexed cat, Xue Meng sat in a
daze,a blank look of confusion on his face, and it was only after quite some time that he realized
that he was pressing Mei Hanxue into the floor.

Mei Hanxue: "..."

Xue Meng: "Cough cough, hack!! I, I'm so sorry!"

He waved his hands back and forth to fan away the dust cloud, and only then saw that Mei
Hanxue's clothes were in disorder, and that his hair was coming loose. A pair of pale eyes
looked at him with a somewhat strange expression out from under long curling eyelashes, as if
there was something that needed to be said, but couldn't be.

Xue Meng was stunned. He suddenly realized how inappropriate the situation was, and stood
up in a rush.

However, the more nervous a person was, the more likely he was to make a mistake. Flustered
in his rush to stand up, his feet fell unsteadily during his first few attempts, and he found himself
rubbing against Mei Hanxue.

Mei Hanxue's eyebrows raised just the tiniest bit, and his expression grew just a bit stranger.

After getting up, Xue Meng's face was fully flushed with embarrasment. He stuttered: "W-, well,
um, da-, dajie, I'm uh, truly, s- s- sorry."8

"....."

Because of his temperament, even from a young age, Xue Meng never had good fortune with
women, and the girls of his generation didn't like to deal with him. Instead, he invited the
fondness of older girls and aunties. Therefore, he habitually only addressed women in two
ways: one is "yi" and the other is "jie".9 And so when nervous, he inadvertently called Mei
Hanxue's beautiful young lady "dajie".

8
Dajie, “大姐” is typically a fairly polite, generally not too intimate form of address for a woman older than
you.
9
Yi, "姨” meaning "aunt", is how you would typically politely address women of your parent's generation.
Jie, "姐” meaning "older sister", is a polite address for women of your own generation who are older than
you. Neither of these, nor their male counterparts, are reserved for people actually related to you by
blood.
Mei Hanxue looked at him with an air of profound mystery, and sighed in his heart. It serves this
person right that even to the present day he hasn't even held a girl's hand!

What kind of stupid address is dajie?

When greeting girls, those ninety years or older should be called xiangu, thouse five years or
younger should be called mitang, those in between, whether fat or skinny, should all collectively
be known as meiren.10 How could Xue Meng not understand such a simple lesson after having
been alive almost thirty years now?

Xue Meng was still stuttering. "Dajie, I didn't hurt you, did I? I, I don't think I'm that heavy, and
you look pretty sturdy..."

"....." Mei Hanxue felt that if the person in front of Xue Meng at this moment wasn't himself, but a
real girl, Xue Meng might have already received multiple slaps to the face.

Fortunately, Xue Meng seemed to finally realize how inappropriate it was to refer to a young
lady as "sturdy", and awkwardly corrected himself: "I, no, I didn't mean that, I just felt like you
probably wouldn't break with one tap, because you have some muscle on you, um, ugh...I
should probably stop talking. Anyway, are you alright?"

Mei Hanxue remained flat on the ground for a while, then sat up with a complicated expression:
"... I'm all right. I just didn't think that your reaction would be so extreme."

After another awkward silence, Mei Hanxue asked: "Did I frighten you?"

"No, no way." Xue Meng still blushed violently, and didn't know what to say. He stalled for a long
time, then changed the subject. "Cough... so, that's how you tamed Veggie Bun?"

"Yes," Mei Hanxue said with a faint smile, "Of the animals I've trained, there isn't one who isn't
obedient."

"Oh..."

"The technique we went over just now, does the Sect Leader understand it?"

Xue Meng: "Pretty much, yeah..."

Mei Hanxue said: "That's good. As long as the Sect Leader is happy, then falling down was
worth it."

10
"Xiangu" means female immortal. "Mitang" literally means honeyed candy. "Meiren" means beauty.
Xue Meng was flabbergasted. To have these words gently come from the mouth of a beautiful
girl...any normal man would feel a great sense of relief come over his body.

So Xue Meng's heart began to shudder. Although he didn't think so highly of Ma Yun, who
stupidly cobbled together the relief scroll, this Shou Hou disciple of his wasn't too bad. She was
alm, even-tempered, unpretentious, and was moreover honorable, steady in her work, and was
wholeheartedly devoted to the needs of her clients.

Xue Meng used to think that these pretty, delicate little girls were like people made of glass.
They were weak and easy to hurt, and would cry and scream over any little thing. If a man ever
dumped them, they would grind their teeth and stamp their feet, or start wailing pitifully, or
scream hysterically, "This is harassment! You scoundrel!"

But this Shou Hou-guniang, in order to change his negative opinion of the "relief scroll", didn't
even respond to being taken advantage of —of course, he didn't intentionally take advantage of
her, but the kind-hearted Xue Meng couldn't help but develop a threat of deep, sincere pity for
this poor girl, who had to eke out a living through submission and docility.

So he hesitated for a moment and finally said, "... Well, you know, it's almost time for dinner.
Why don't I...take you out for a meal?

Mei Hanxue smiled: "You just bumped into me me. There's no need to feel so guilty."

"No, thank you for teaching me your unique cat skills." Xue Meng still blushed, embarrassed.
"As for me changing my reviews of the relief scroll, well, we can talk about it...anyway, we
should eat first."

And so he extended his hand towards the person he saw as the pitiable tea-selling little sister
Shou Hou-guniang, with the intent of helping her up.

Yet Mei Hanxue didn't move; his eyes moved from Xue Meng's palm up to his face. Finally, he
said: "Sect Leader, you go first. I can sit for a bit longer."

Seeing this reaction, Xue Meng couldn't help feeling a bit lost: "... Did I actually hurt you badly
just now?"

Mei Hanxue raised his eyebrows silently, but then finally smiled: "It's not bad, there's just a bit of
swelling, but it should be fine. As long as you don't run into me again, it should go down soon."

When the kind Xue Meng heard that he had actually hurt this delicate maiden, he couldn't help
but feel even guiltier.
"So it's like that..." Xue Meng bit his lip in embarassment. "Then how about I find Elder Tanlang
to take a look at you?"

"....There's no need. I'm not used to disturbing others due to things like this."

Xue Meng's impression of how forlorn yet prudent she was grew even stronger.

"Then, can you tell me where it's swollen? I have some medicine on me, maybe I could put
some on you?"

"Or actually, I could also massage it a little, if you'd be okay with that?"

Mei Hanxue, looking at his serious appearance, wondered more and more how this person
could be this cute. He used his full energy just to resist laughing and simply kept silent, fearing
that once he opened his mouth, he wouldn't be able to resist slapping his leg and bursting into
full-throated howls of laughter.

Thus, in Xue Meng's eyes, Mei Hanxue became a girl with quivering lips and eyes brimming
with tears, unable to speak the words she wanted to get out.

This girl stared at at him, and the tighter she pursed her lips, the more inexplicable her
expression became.

Finally she bowed her head said with a light cough: "If you rub it, it might just swell up more."

Xue Meng: "?? Huh? Is my hand poisonous?"

"...no."

"Then it should be fine then."

Originally, Mei Hanxue had been looking at Mo Ran's erotic drawings, and added to that the
typical reaction he'd get from someone rubbing against him, there was no further explanation
needed for what was happeneing. But when he looked at Xue Meng's pure, innocent
appearance, the itch to tease him grew worse and worse, to where he wanted to see him run
away with terror or to have him screaming and cursing with rage.

Thinking of such things, his eyes grew a bright, captivating luster, and seemed to emit some
form of vital energy. Pursing his lips in a smile, he said: "Then...if you really wish to help me, it's
not out of the question, but I must make something clear to you..."

Just then, someone knocked resolutely on the library's door.

Mei Hanxue raised his brows, and closed his mouth.

Xue Meng turned his head, and saw Elder Xuanji in blue, standing at the doorway, fingers
knocking at the door frame.

"Sect Leader." As Xuanji spoke, he saw Mei Hanxue behind Xue Meng, and smiled: "Oh, Shou
Hou-guniang is here too."

Mei Hanxue smiled and nodded.

"Yes, I had some things to discuss with her." Xue Meng, unaware of how dangerous his situation
was just then, said pompously: "What's the matter?"

Elder Xuanji reported: "This is the situation. Mei HanXue of Kunlun Taxue Palace has paid us a
sudden visit. He said there was an urgent matter involving you, and he is now waiting in Danxin
Hall."

Mei Hanxue's smile froze.

Ch. 335 Xue Meng’s Tea-Selling Little Sister Blind Date 5

Xue Meng and Mei HanXue hadn't seen each other for a while.

Mei HanXue could be classified as someone who would never make visits with any kind of
ulterior motive. During the dimensional annihilation wars, the matter of him and his younger
brother's use of the same identity was revealed to the world. Now the entire cultivation world
knew that there were two Mei-xianzhang in the mortal realms, and those female cultivators who
had their hearts broken by the younger brother suddenly zeroed in on the elder.

They think Mei HanXue is handsome and steady, and moreover not promiscuous, with no
romantic history; a perfect substitute for Mei Hanxue. One after another, they expressed no
desire for men from other families in this lifetime, only to sleep with Mei-shige.

Mei HanXue was so furiously hounded that for these past two years he barely appeared in the
mundane world.

The last time he and Xue Meng met, he had been sent by Mingyue Tower to give Xue Meng a
box of top grade Tianshan snow lotus. Coincidentally when he arrived, he came upon Jiangdong
Hall's new female sect leader, who was there before him to pay her respects to Xue Meng.

Jiangdong Hall's new head, Hua Ruowei.

Although a sect leader, she couldn't compare to the heroic Ye Wangxi, the loving and virtuous
Madame Wang, or the awe-inspiring Madame Rong. She was a curiosity who managed to sleep
her way through all the sect elders and was thus elected to her current position after the death
of the old sect leader Huang Xiaoyue.

The most incredible thing about this person was simply that she slept her way through
Jiangdong Hall's twelve elders, a feat known throughout the streets and book stalls. Moreover,
each one of these twelve ancient turtles had their heads firmly in their shells, with not a single
one of them knowing the full truth of the situation. Even if rumors were to float past their ears, as
soon as Hua Ruowei would start wailing, those twelve elders would rise with indignant fury and
say with outrage: "Weiwei is pure! She's nothing like those flirty sluts outside! None of you are
allowed to spread rumours about her! "

Mei HanXue thought that this woman was truly strange. She should duke it out with his brother
over who was more degenerate.

Unfortunately, although he had a clear idea of what sort of person Hua Ruowei was, Xue Meng
didn't.

Xue Meng didn't like to listen to rumors. There had been a time where he was willing to humor
them, but after hearing eighteen different accounts of Chu Wanning and Mo Weiyu's exploits
during their seclusion in a row, Xue Meng fell apart, and stated that Sisheng Peak was no longer
allowed to spread such common gossip. Thus, he hadn't heard a word of Hua Ruowei's
coquettish ways and her habit of using men.

So when Mei Hanxue came to gift the snow lotus herb, he coldly stared at Hua Ruowei doing
her utmost to provoke Sect Leader Xue

"Ziming-gege, this one just adores you!"

"Ziming-gege, can I touch your armor? It's so shiny!"

"Ziming-gege, Weiwei thinks you're super incredible. You're so young and you're already in
charge of the entire lower cultivation world, you must work super hard!"

Although Xue Meng thought this was all incredibly corny, flattery could get through the toughest
armor, and he was a man who loved to hear others sing his praises. Having been praised by
Hua Ruowei in such a syrupy sweet manner, he still felt a bit floaty despite himself, and started
to giggle like a fool.
"....." Mei HanXue couldn't stand to look at it anymore. He wondered if Xue Meng didn't have a
hole in his head. So he slammed the wooden box containing the snow lotus onto a table,
making Hua Ruowei jump with surprise at the noise.

The first thing the little beauty did after she regained her senses was to pat her plump bosom
and throw a flirty look at Mei HanXue with her limpid, glimmering eyes: "HanXue-gege's hand
strength is truly great, how strong you are!"

Mei Hanxue looked at her with cold indifference: "I don't have a younger sister."

Hua Ruowei, not expecting that anyone would react so indifferently to her overtures, stuttered
with embarrassment: "I, I was just joking around."

"Yes. I can see you're a joke."

Hua Ruowei: "..."

Xue Meng couldn't take this anymore. "Okay, enough already. Sect Leader Hua is still a guest.
And she just told me that after the dimensional annihilation wars, she had a revelation, and
realized that what her Jiangdong Hall did before wasn't right. So this time, she came here
especially to mend relations with Sisheng Peak. Isn't that right, Sect Leader Hua?"

Hua Ruowei had been handling Xue Meng with ease, but under Mei HanXue's stare, she felt a
weakness, as if he saw straight through to her calculating little heart. Shrinking her neck into her
shoulders, she smiled stiffly and said, vaguely: "Yeah, that's right. Sect Leader Xue is the one I
admire most. I really adore him, hahahaha. "

Mei Hanxue sneered: "But when you were last at Gu Yue Ye, it seems like you said the same
thing about Jiang Xi."

Hua Ruowei's face suddenly changed: "That...that's nonsense! "

"After you said it, you rubbed yourself against Jiang Yechen's leg."

Xue Meng was startled: "What?!"

Hua Ruowei: "..."

Mei HanXue said expressionlessly: "Last month, this Sect Leader Hua went to Gu Yue Ye and
tried to use these same words to seduce Sect Leader Jiang, and incidentally sought death by
rubbing herself again his thighs. Jiang Yechen, in a rage, dragged her by the arm and threw her
bodily out of Gu Yue Ye. Afterwards, he sent someone to gift her a set of gynecological
Prescriptions Worth A Thousand Gold, to express his feelings. 11

Xue Meng: "..."

"This news has already spread throughout Yangzhou City. I had some business these past two
days and happened to stay in Yangzhou, where it found its way to me."

Hua Ruowei never expected that of these two people both called "Mei Hanxue," the older
brother would be so much harsher than the younger, and that he wouldn't leave a woman any
face at all! She blushed, but still held only a desperate hope to turn the tides. Pitifully, she said:
"HanXue-gege, those are all rumors, look at my eyes, so I look like I'm lying to you..."

Mei HanXue really did turn to look. Hua Ruowei felt a spark of happiness, and wildly cast her
flirty, teary-eyed gaze onto him.

"Stop batting your eyelashes," Mei HanXue said apathetically. "I'm frigid, especially towards
you."

"....."

Mei HanXue has no sense of romance! He's not worth carrying his brother's shoes!!!

Hua Ruowei never wanted to fight against him again. She was so angry that her pretty face look
like a slab of pig's liver, and after saying her goodbyes in a rush, she wiped away her tears and
ran away, wailing.

She had run off, but Mei HanXue still felt upset towards Xue Meng, who was stunned and rooted
in his original spot. He pointed at the wooden box and gave Xue Meng six words: "These are for
you. Eat up."

Xue Meng was still in a stupor. In his heart, he wondered secretly how Jiang Yechen, at his age,
could still unceasingly provoke these swarms of girls. He glanced at the snow lotus box absently
and said: "Thanks."

"No need for thanks." Mei Hanxue's jasper-glazed eyes held a sense of irony. His pale lips
opened: "This is to repair your brain."

Xue Meng: "???"

11
Prescriptions Worth A Thousand Gold, or 千金方, is a famous Tang Dynasty compendium of traditional
chinese medicine.
After a while, he suddenly processed what he heart, but Mei HanXue had already left, and he
was left shouting at Mei HanXue's back: "Mei HanXue! You're looking for death! You dare more
me! "

In reality, Mei HanXue is a much more reliable man than his brother. Ever since Xue Meng
inherited his current role, he has always followed the proper etiquette and propriety. But that
day, Xue Meng didn't know what kind of bitter medicine he took that led him to taunt him as
before. And after taunting him, he didn't even turn his head back and just left. The two parted
unhappily. After they parted, Xue Meng secretly cursed Mei HanXue's shamelessness! He even
wondered if in his past life he had also been seeded by some kind of poisonous flower that
made his mother become inseparable from these two exotic flowers of the Mei family.

Could normal people stand to be with them for long? Not even for a day!

Afterwards, Mei Hanxue never returned to Sisheng Peak. Xue Meng thought his intent was to
never see him again for the rest of their lives. Yet, today Mei HanXue suddenly has something
urgent he needs to talk about. Xue Meng couldn't help but have some questions.

"Why's he here? Come to repair my brain again?"

Xuanji was stunned: "What?"

Xuanji's blank eyes called back some of Xue Meng's rationality.

Xue Meng coughed softly, and told himself internally to forget it. He's a sect leader, and Mei
HanXue is just a dashixiong. He didn't inherit the mantle of Mingyue Tower, so his own position
is a level higher, and he shouldn't argue with him.

Humph!

He cleared his throat and said with dignity: "Well, what's his emergency?"

"It seems like...there's a large upheaval going on at Taobao Manor," Xuanji said.

"Ah?" Xue Meng's eyes widened in astonishment, and then he looked at Taobao Manor's "Shou
Hou"-guniang beside him, frowned, and asked: "Tell me clearly. What the hell is happening?"

Xuanji shook his head: "Mei-xianzhang didn't talk about the particulars of the situation, but
according to him, his brother is the cause of the problem."

Mei Hanxue, standing on the side, raised his brows in confusion: "......"
Xuanji didn't sense that "she" was behaving oddly, and with some hesitancy, said to Xue Meng:
"You too, Sect Leader."

Xue Meng: "???"

The Mei Hanxue brothers weren't outsiders, and didn't need to wait in the outer hall of Danxin
Hall, but was rather invited to rest in the garden veranda of the back hall. When Xue Meng
arrived, Mei Hanxue was leaning against a pillar, looking up at a newly grown Haitang flower.

He wore the snow-colored, flowing-sleeved silk robes specially made by Kunlun Taxue Palace.
Its pattern was simple yet elegant, the edges of his sleeves and hemline trimmed with pale blue.
Perhaps it was because his crown of brilliant, gently waving golden hair was too dazzling, but
his clothes didn't make him seem dull or lifeless at all. Instead, he gave off the impression of a
glacier-topped mountain in hibernation: cold and lofty, but with heat buried just under the snow,
filled with deadly lava silently roiling and waiting to explode.

It's unknown when he'll erupt, when his heat will boil over, when he'll burn those who've gotten
too close.

Xue Meng coughed, and Mei HanXue turned his head.

"You..."

They hadn't seen each other in such a long time; truly awkward. Xue Meng didn't want to waste
any trivial words with him, so instead he coughed to express his true feelings.

His first cough was to get Mei HanXue to turn around.

His second cough was to express his greetings.

His third cough meant that bygones were bygones.

His fourth cough...

Mei HanXue's jasper eyes looked askance at him, and he asked coldly: "Are you learning to
crow like a rooster?"

Xue Meng: "..."

"It's an unusual technique you're using."

Xue Meng didn't think he understood the deep meaning behind his four coughs at all, and even
ridiculed him! He couldn't help but glar: "Mei HanXue! You —! "
"Let's not talk about us for now." Mei HanXue stands with his hands at his back, the water drop
jewel on his forehead shining with a bright lustre. "Xue Ziming, you're in big trouble, did you
know that?"

"Huh?"

As a good child who cared to please his mother and his shizun ever since youth, Xue Meng was
naturally wary of the three words "in big trouble". He never thought that he would ever cause
any trouble; The master of causing trouble at Sisheng Peak was always Mo Ran, Mo Weiyu. So
he immediately asked nervously, "What did I do?"

"Did you or did you not use the pseudonym 'Taobao Manor Destroyed My Youth' to leave more
than a hundred negative comments on the relief scroll?"

"... So what?" Xue Meng was so angry that he crossed his hands at his hips. "Are you saying
that Ma Fangzhi got so mad that he couldn't bear to live anymore and killed himself by jumping
into West Lake?"

Mei Hanxue glared at him.

Xue Meng, faced with this glare, couldn't help but feel guilty. Feeling a bit of shock, he hesitantly
said: "No way? Did he actually jump in the lake?"

"What jump." Mei HanXue's eyes fell unabashedly onto Xue Meng's hip. With a gaze that could
make one feel like they were sitting on pins and needles, he stared at Xue Meng's crossed
hands, and said, rudely: "Also, you're the master of a cultivation sect. Be conscious of your
bearing and appearance. Don't copy the manner of shrewish women."

"???" Xue Meng's rage spot had been hit: "Hold on, Mei HanXue. No matter what, I'm still a sect
leader. How can you talk to me like that?"

Mei HanXue's eyes swept over him: "I'm only being straightforward with you now that we're
alone. If you don't want to take my advice, then fine, please continue crossing your arms. Keep
them there while you eat, and remember to find a disciple who can hand feed you."

"You, you —"

Xue Meng was so furious that he almost fainted.

He really didn't know who was more hateful, Mei HanXue or Mei Hanxue. Mei Hanxue
incessantly teased him, and maintained his romantic, carefree demeanor no matter who was
around, which sometimes made Xue Meng felt like he just lost an exceptional amount of face.
Mei HanXue was different. Mei HanXue let him save face when they were in front of others, but
when those people were gone, or when he was in a bad mood, he would say things more
infuriating than his brother.

And because Mei HanXue normally put on airs and had very few relationships with the outside
world, the cultivation world's impression of him was very superficial, and he maintained a good
reputation. So no matter how much Xue Meng would stamp his feet in rage and condemn Mei
HanXue's poisonous tongue, everyone would look with pity at Sect Leader Xue, and advise him:
"Aiyah, Sect Leader, when you're free please remember to drink some white fungus and lotus
seed soup to decrease your heart fire, there's no need to fret so much."

Just like that!

No matter how Mei HanXue bullied him in front of him, he used to say that his facial puffing was
unique, and that he won first place for foolishness. Later, he said that he needed to fix his brain,
that he needed to be fed by others. And when Xue Meng would tell this to other people, no one
would believe him!

Xue Meng felt like a mute man made to eat goldthread; forced to suffer in silence!12

He was so angry that he couldn't figure out what to do, when he heard Mei HanXue say, "Let me
get to the matter at hand. The problem lies in the over one hundred negative comments you
left." After a pause, he wrinkled his pale golden brows. "Of course, there was my brother's
contribution as well."

"What the hell is going on?"

"The mother vessel for the relief scroll has cultivated into a higher state."

Xue Meng was gobsmacked: "What?!"

Mei Hanxue went on: "Thanks to what you and my brother have bestowed upon it."

Xue Meng's mouth repeatedly opened and closed. Finally he said, stunned: "Then, then what
did it become?"

"Human."

"It gained human form?!"

12
Chinese goldthread (coptis chinensis) is a plant used in traditional chinese medicine known for its
exceptionally bitter taste.
"Yes."

Xue Meng nervously smacked his lips. His rushed nature meant that he couldn't bear Mei
HanXue wearing him down bit by bit like this, so he said anxiously: "Keep going, what's the
situation?"

"Simply stated—"

"Don't state it simply!" Xue Meng felt he was being worn down to tears. Anxious, he jumped up.
"You're complicated, so explain its complications!!"

Mei Hanxue glanced at him indifferently and said lazily, "OK. Complicated. When Ma Fangzhi
was refining the relief scroll, he put a rare wisdom spirit stone into its mother vessel in order to
give it a more human-like intelligence. That wisdom spirit stone can imitate the actions and
manner of a living person. However, it's still a dumb stone after all; if you only interact with it
once or twice, it won't learn anything. But one day, Hanxue also bought a scroll. "

"... And then what."

He created a hundred identities on the relief scroll and talked to five hundred girls at the same
time. He did this over a hundred times, which allowed the relief scroll's mother vessel to gain
some extraordinarily thorough knowledge of him.

"..... Alright, this sounds very much like Mei Hanxue."

Mei HanXue looked at Xue Meng with an expressionless gaze, lifting his eyebrows the tiniest
amount: "Don't you dare think this problem was caused by him alone. If it were just Hanxue,
things would be fine. It's because right at that time you happened to leave more than a hundred
negative comments for the relief scroll. With those harsh, cutting words, you gravely injured the
spirit's newly-emerged sense of pride, causing it to rage and flee."

Xue Meng was astonished: "This kind of thing is possible?!"

"There's more," Mei Hanxue said unsympathetically. "In its wrath, the mother vessel of the relief
scroll began to absorb all of the spiritual energies of its users, and also began to imitate you and
Hanxue. Not long ago, it broke through Ma Fangzhi's seals, and with the help of heavenly
lightning, cultivated into a human form, becoming a monster. This monster has high spiritual
power, and suffers from two incurable diseases. "

"What diseases?"

"One, extreme playfulness."

"Sounds like he got that from Mei Hanxue." Xue Meng continued: "And the second?"

Mei HanXue paused, lowered his pale golden eyelashes, and looked down at Xue Meng. His
pale, thin lips opened and closed on a profound statement: "Two. Abnormal narcissism. "

Xue Meng nodded with no self-awareness, and said solemnly: "Mei Hanxue is indeed
narcissistic."

Mei HanXue: "..."

The completely non self-aware Xue Meng continued: "it seems like even though I left bad
reviews a hundred times, it didn't learn any of my habits." He breathed a sigh of relief. "So
what's the situation? Can Manor Head Ma not catch this monster by himself?"

Mei Hanxue had no words for a moment, and was about to open his mouth, when suddenly, he
heard the sound of plants rustling behind a rock garden, and immediately shouted: "Who's
there?!"

The flowers trembled, and after a bit, the clever and lovely Shou Hou-guniang came out from
behind the rocks, with a dead leaf stuck in her pale hair. She didn't dare to look at Mei HanXue,
but smiled and waved to Xue Meng: "Sect Leader, I was just passing by, I'll be leaving just..."

Before she could tiptoe away two steps, Mei HanXue called out to her darkly: "Stop right there."

Xue Meng frowned and said, "This is a guest of our sect, Taobao Manor's disciple Shou Hou.
She's really nice, you don't need to be so rude to all girls you know."

Mei Hanxue squinted. "Girl?"

"Yeah."

"Taobao Manor?"

"Right."

"Shou Hou?"

That's right.

Mei HanXue, face like the coldest frost, walked down the steps until he reached Shou
Hou-guniang's side: "Mei Hanxue."
Xue Meng: "???"

"Are you playing with him again?"

Ch. 336 Xue Meng’s Tea-Selling Little Sister Blind Date 6

How miserable.

That night, Mei Hanxue sat in front of the bronze mirror, and sighed at the injury to his face.

Even he didn't know how he managed to escape from under Xue Meng's killing intent earlier
today.

The way Xue Meng was acting, he seemed like he wanted to tear off all Mei Hanxue's clothes,
and then execute him with a hot pillar!13 Fortunately, Veggie Bun was loyal; seeing the person
who had fed it so many dried fish these past few days, it bravely jumped out and started
yowling, stopping Xue Ziming from eating him alive.

Truly too miserable.

"Did he have to use so much force?" Mei Hanxue touched the bruise at the corner of his mouth,
hissed, and frowned. "I just crossdressed and teased him a bit, there was no reason for him to
go for my life."

In the guest room, Mei HanXue said coldly: "You deserved it. That'll teach you to bully him so
much."

Mei Hanxue stared at his brother through the bronze mirror: "You talk as if you don't also bully
him. Who's the one who takes advantage of every opportunity to insult him to death? Also, I
don't always tease him, I've helped him out too!"

"What help?" Mei HanXue said indifferently, "He was clearly going mad with rage, couldn't you
tell?"

"I could tell." Mei Hanxue paused, then suddenly smiled. "But you know, he gets so interesting
when he's mad, so even though I really did mean to just give him a bit of happiness, in the end I
couldn't resist how much he was provoking me."

13
The hot pillar, or 炮烙, was an ancient Chinese torture instrument where a bronze cylinder was covered
in oil and heated with a bed of charcoals; a victim would be made to walk on the burning cylinder until
they slipped and burned to death on the charcoals below.
As he spoke, he stood up, and swaying, leaned up against the wooden table, and bumped
against Mei HanXue. "I was only playing. It was just a bit of fun. I'll still do my best to look after
him."

"....."

"Look, he'd been happy the entire time I've been here at Sisheng Peak, and he only got mad
this one time today. I think I did a pretty darn good job being Shou Hou for three days straight."
Mei Hanxue batted his cat-like jade eyes and pouted: "So you shouldn't be upset."

Mei HanXue had an odd expression on his face: "Next time you're not allowed to trick him like
this again."

"Hah, alright, next time I'll come up with a different scheme."

"You—!"

"I'll bring you along too."

"....."

"This is all your fault," Mei HanXue said angrily. "I suggest you start thinking about how you're
going to explain the situation to Manor Head Ma tomorrow. I'm going to sleep."

"Weren't we going to go out and have another round of teasing Xue Meng?"

"Don't you think your face has gotten cut up enough for one day?"

Mei Hanxue silently opened and closed his mouth, and listlessly laid his head down on his
brother's bed: and sighed: "Alas, what meaning is there in a life where you can't mess with
people?"

Mei HanXue's face blackened: "Who said you could lie on my bed with your shoes on?!"

Due to what Xue Meng and Mei Hanxue unleashed through their meddling, Taobao Manor was
already being beaten black and blue, and overwhelmed with complaints. As the original source
of the problem, it didn't matter whether they meant to cause them or not, they were tasked with
settling the mob for Manor Head Ma.

So on the morning of the following day, even though Xue Meng was still brooding with all
manner of unhappiness, he had to go out with the two Mei brothers. The three of them rode
their swords, and rushed to West Lake.
When their swords landed, and they arrived at the giant night cat totem at the entrance to
Taobao Manor, Xue Meng was stupefied.

Outside the magnificent manor, he saw a crowd of commonly-dressed civilians, their hands
holding red-lacquered wooden cards, aggressively shouting something. Because there were so
many different roars, even though the sound was loud, he couldn't make out the contents of the
complaints. While Xue Meng was stunned, he saw a line of women coming from around the
stret corner, wearing red skirts and green sleeves and thickly-applied makeup. These were the
madames of all the pleasure houses in Lin'an.

These old brothel keepers, who normally lunged to tear each other to pieces at the sight of each
other, were suddenly working with a common purpose. Together, with one voice, they shouted:
"Return my No. 1!"

"Return my top flower!"

"Return my daughters!"

"Return my tea-serving little sister!"

Xue Meng has never seen such troops like this. He was afraid of nothing under the heavens or
on earth, but today he discovered that had a sense of foreboding towards these women. Mei
Hanxue saw that he was flustered, smiled, and patted him on the shoulder: "It's alright, girls are
very soft creatures, they won't eat you."

As soon as he finished speaking, a madame suddenly pounded her huge bosom with the force
one would use to break a stone on their chest, striking it with such magnificent ferocity that Xue
Meng's eyes bugged out.

The madame shouted angrily: "Taobao Manor must cease its bewitchments!"

"That's right!" Some common people in the crowd shouted, "return my daughters' self-esteem!"

"He called my wife a cake! My wife is crying!"14

"...What's all this mess? What's going on?" Xue Meng muttered.

Mei HanXue tapped him on the shoulder with his Shuo Feng sword and said to him: "Follow me
through the back door."

14
A wife cake is a kind of pastry with a flaky crust and a winter melon seed, almond, or sesame filling.
Xue Meng was still angry and didn't want to talk to the brothers, but when he saw that the front
gate was impenetrably besieged, and the disciples of Taobao Manor were pitifully selling
themselves at the door, he had to turn his eyes and just follow the Mei brothers to the back of
the manor.

"Sisheng Peak Sect Leader Xue Meng and Kunlun Taxue Palace disciples the Mei Hanxue
brothers, here to see Manor Head Ma."

"Ah!"

The eyes of the disciple guarding the back door brimmed with unshed tears of excitement.

"Sect Leader Xue! Mei-xianzhang! You're all finally here!"

Xue Meng said, "Where's your Manor Head Ma? There's so much noise outside, he should at
least go outside to try and appease the crowd. How can he shut himself inside now?"

The disciple had been alright up to now, but once this issue was brought up, the the guard
disciple immediately began to cry and snivel, and started to rub himself against Xue Meng:
"Ma-, Manor Head he, he......."

Xue Meng always looked down on Jieke Ma's mentality, and believed that Manor Head Ma was
a man who loved returning to nature, so he once again said nervously: "He didn't jump into West
Lake, did he?"

The guard disciple sobbed: "No, no! It was last night, last night....Manor Head Ma became a
flutterfly and flew away!"

Xue Meng jumped to alertness: "This flutterfly...what exactly is it?"

"A flutterfly! You know, the thing that flies, and everyone likes!" The guard disciple anxiously
gesticulated with his hands: "Fat flutterflies!"

Xue Meng still didn't understand. Mei Hanxue suddenly asked, "Are you Fujianese?"15

"En en en!!" The gatekeeper nodded repeatedly.

Mei Hanxue turned his head indifferently to translate to Xue Meng: "He's talking about
butterflies."

15
The fujianese accent is characterized as not clearly differentiating the "h" and "f" sounds; hence, the
confusion between “hu die”, the way the word for “butterfly” is normally pronounced, and “fu die”, which is
what Xue Meng hears. Thanks to twitter user @bonbonruru for the tip!
Xue Meng: "..."

However, when they went into Taobao Manor's reception pavilion and saw the pitiful and
inspiring Manor Head Ma, Xue Meng asked a question that originated from deep within his soul:
"Fuck, you call this a butterfly?"

A little bee was buzzing and flying left and right, up and down.

It flew so fast that Xue Meng couldn't help but want to lift his hand and smash it flat. An elder of
Taobao Manor immediately stopped him: "You mustn’t! If you hit him, our Manor Head will die! "

Jieke Ma, who had been turned into a diligent little bee, looped around once and then rested in
the middle of a red sandalwood table. A pair of bee eyes stared at Xue Meng, seeming to be
silently crying to Sect Leader Xue about his plight.

"....." Xue Meng thought this was entirely ridiculous. He pointed to the bee: "No. This thing is
really Jieke Ma? Are you sure he didn't make up a story to fool you in order to avoid the people
outside yelling at him?"

"It's absolutely true, we guarantee a replacement if it's not authentic." The elder said miserably:
"Last night I saw the Manor Head become a flutterfly with my own eyes!"

Xue Meng: "Are you from Fujian, too? "

"I'm from Funan!"16

"....." Xue Meng had a headache. "Fine, go on."

"After our Manor Head became a flutterfly, he circled Taobao Manor, pollinating flowers, doing
what his strength allowed him to do."

Xue Meng clenched his teeth: "This is a bee. "

"No need for suspicions, Sect Leader Xue. Have you ever seen such a careful, cheerful and
exceedingly canny and clever flutterfly?

Xue Meng choked: "I'll say it one more time! This is a fucking bee!"

"The Manor Head has turned into a flutterfly and is starting his flutter dance, so today I am afraid
he cannot personally receive our guests. Therefore, it must fall to me. This insignificant one,

16
This is a play on "Hunan"; I guess they also have an accent with lots of "f"s?
Chen Xuyuan, Elder Chen, will serve as the temporary Manor representative." Saying this, Elder
Chen rose halfway out of his chair. "Please, this way."

Xue Meng: "..."

From what he can see, this Elder Chen might not understand human speech.

The disciples of Taobao Manor quickly brought them tea and cakes. The three of them and
Elder Chen ate as they talked, and the little bee that was formerly Manor Head Ma squatted
cutely on the teapot lid.

It turned out that the relief scroll had absorbed the emotions of the cultivation world's foolish
men and desperate women, and had begun to develop within itself a thirst, a desire to find the
partner of its dreams. So after it gained human form, it began to plot.

Originally, this wouldn't have been a big deal; if you could find some other small spirit that also
desired companionship, the two of them could match up and the problem would have been
solved. But problems emerged due to how its activities came from imitating Xue Meng and Mei
Hanxue. Because of this, the scroll spirit became exceedingly picky. Whether it was a well-bred
young lady from a major family or the jade of a minor family, whether it was the top flower of a
pleasure house or a tofu Xi Shi, none were worthy of itself.
17

It called the most beautiful bride in Lin'an "too fat."

It said the most charming maiden was "too bawdy."

It said the top flower of the pleasure houses "had hairy legs."

It said that the tofu Xi Shi "had big stinky feet."

Normally, such a poisonous mouth should have long ago caused ladies to trample it into the
ground and hammer it into a meat patty. Most unfortunately, it had refined Mei Hanxue's charm
into a spiritual power, so that no matter how cruelly it mocked a girl, she would inevitably
become lovesick for it. And if it teased a girl who already had a lover, it could take on that
person's appearance, and profit from the girl's pearly tears.

When Xue Meng heard this, he was filled with righteous indignation and said: "This is too
outrageous!"

17
Tofu Xi Shi is a term for a woman who is beautiful but poor. Xi Shi is one of the Four Great Beauties of
ancient China; the term "tofu Xi Shi" was coined in author Lu Xun's novel Hometown, in which a beautiful
tofu shop owner is given this nickname.
As he spoke, he turned towards Mei Hanxue: "Look at yourself, look what a disaster you've
caused!"

"....." Mei Hanxue was speechless.

Xue Meng asked "But Elder Chen, why did Manor Head Ma become a bee?"

Chen Xuyuan sighed: "It's like this. The scroll spirit had provoked too many of the common
people of Lin'an. From the streets to the brothel, and even to Guan-xiaojie's house; it's provoked
them all. It seems to have a special impact on women; all the girls who have been provoked by
it have experienced complete personality changes. For example, the top flower at Chuncha Lou
was originally a clever social maven who could coax happiness out of any guest. But ever since
she encountered the scroll spirit, it's like her character has completely collapsed, and she's
become a well-behaved, honest, and blunt-spoken elmwood knot.18

"What do you mean?"

"In the past, when she greeted guests, she would say things like, 'Guanye, how lovely your
complexion is, I see the redness must be a sign of coming good fortune and wealth," or
"Guanye, how hale and hearty you are at your age, I bet you could manage a household of
eighteen, no eighty concubines!"19

Mei Hanxue: "I feel some of this praise may be overly excessive."

"Well, the guests like to hear this kind of thing," Chen Xuyuan said. "But now it's different. For
the same guest, she'll say things like, "You dog, your yintang is black, there's a leak coming
from your face.20 You shouldn't come out too often, I'm afraid I'll be contaminated by your bad
luck." Or, "Old man, other people can do it seven times a night, you on the other hand can come
seven drops at a time. Look how your wrinkles flap around like a turtle; aren't you ashamed to
still be coming to pleasure houses at your age?"

Xue Meng: "..."

Mei HanXue：“……”

Only Mei Hanxue laughed as he heard this, and grinning, he asked: "Did that pleasure house
continue to stay open?"

18
An elmwood knot, 榆木疙瘩, is an idiom describing someone stupid, stubborn, and difficult to get
through to, like a stubborn knot in an elm tree that can't be split by axes.
19
Guanye "官爷" means something like "gentleman official/sir"
20
The yintang refers to the spot on the forehead right between the eyes, and is the location for the third
eye chakra.
"It was destroyed. Why do you think they've come to complain at Taobao Manor?"

Chen Xuyuan sighed and said: "Our Manor Head went to investigate and found that all the girls
were the same, all of them experienced total personality changes. Those who were too shy to
even leave the house are now out running wild in the streets. Those who were pampered and
charming and loved beauty now like to take a writing brush and look in the mirror to draw chest
hair on themselves. Those who would say 'rabbits are so cute, why would we ever eat rabbits?'
now can eat five rabbit heads, five duck heads, and five chicken heads in one bite."
21

The more Chen Xuyuan said, the more he crumbled. He covered his face and said, "We couldn't
go on like this, so our Manor Head Ma took charge, and he—"

"He went to take down the spirit?"

"No, this scroll spirit can't be subdued violently. One, it's not really a bad spirit, it's just wrong in
the head. At the end of the day, it hasn't physically hurt anyone. Two, our Manor Head found
that should the scroll spirit be defeated through violence, it would explode, and spread all the
information that anyone has ever mentioned to the relief scroll across the cultivation world. This
would be a leak of private client information, and our Taobao Manor is a serious business. If
something like this were to happen, the manor's glorious name would be destroyed."

Mei Hanxue shook his head: "Not only that, I'm afraid it could cause a toxic atmosphere among
the populace. What if any married men or women revealed shameful things behind their
spouse's back?"

Xue Meng had a headache: "So then what did Jieke Ma do?"

"The Manor Head personally arranged to meet the scroll spirit, and then disguised himself as a
woman. He said he would seduce it, make it feel an emotional connection, and then persuade it
to return home with no hard feelings."

"...Jieke Ma wanted to use himself as a honey trap?" The corner of Xue Meng's mouth twitched.
"Does Taobao Manor lack a mirror? Sisheng Peak can lend you one, no worries."

When the little bee heard this, it flew up in fury, and began to circle Xue Meng's head back and
forth, buzzing his condemnations.

Chen Xuyuan glanced at the bee and said awkwardly: "This...ahem, even though our Manor
Head Ma is a magnificent and heroic specimen, he knew that the scroll spirit had very
demanding, precise requirements. So obviously, he did more than just dress up in women's

21
It might be a coincidence (it's totally not a coincidence) but ducks "鸭" and chickens "鸡" are slang for
male and female prostitutes, respectively.
clothes. He also bought some bewitching incense from Jiang Yechen. This incense is very
strange; as long as the other party voluntarily stays in the same room for the length of time it
takes to drink a cup of tea, you can dazzle them, and make them think that a sow looks like a
fairy."

When he got to the last part, he quickly added: "Of course, I'm not saying that you, Manor Head,
are a sow!"

The little bee: "BZZZZZZ!!!"

Xue Meng asked: "And then what happened? Did the bewitching incense fail? Did that bastard
Jiang Xi sell fake goods again?"

"No.Chen Xuyuan became even more embarrassed, and kowtowed: "It...when the scroll spirit
caught sight of Manor Head Ma dressed as a woman, it let out a gagging noise, and then
rushed away...so, so it didn't stay in the room long enough for tea..."

What a miserable story.

Xue Meng wanted to laugh, and was making a great effort to hold himself back, when he heart
Mei Hanxue let out a chuckle. Xue Meng looked back at him and said: "Don't laugh, this is
serious!"

"Women who have been rejected by the scroll spirit will have their temperaments changed, but
men who have been rejected by the scroll spirit will directly turn into animals." Chen Xuyuan
looked devastatedly at the bee Manor Head Ma. "The elders of the sect have spent an entire
night, trying all sorts of techniques, but they can't release the spell. We have no choice, so
we've already sent someone to ask for help."

"Ask for help?" Xue Meng was stunned for a moment, and he had a bad premonition, "from
who?"

As soon as he finished speaking, he heard a loud announcement from a disciple outside the
reception hall: "The head of Gu Yue Ye Medicine Sect—Sect Leader Jiang has arrived!"
Ch. 337 Xue Meng Extra: Go Balls to the Wall, Jiang Xi!

Jiang Xi, leading a retinue consisting of two rows of disciples all dressed in pale green, entered
the chamber.

Today, as usual, he carried himself with an arrogance that seemed to say, "the entire world is
made of sick people, and I alone am sane." He wore a silver-trimmed robe, colored pale green
towards the bottom, that was long enough to trail on the ground. The silver pattern was made of
silver silk thread; the green fabric was made from an extract obtained from the feathers of
jade-spirit birds. As his outer layer, he was draped in a light golden cloud muslin cloak; it glowed
like the dawn, and was resplendent to behold.

His attire would forever make people feel like he was saying: "I'm filthy rich, you're welcome to
rob me," yet no one had ever been able to rob him.

His striking face seemed to have written on it: "Don't you want to sleep with me? I know you do,"
but no one has ever been able to get him into bed.

The only thing anyone could do towards him was to face him, bow, and make their obedient,
respectful obeisances: "Our greetings to Sect Leader Jiang!"

The Mei Hanxue brothers also spoke: "Greetings to Sect Leader Jiang."

Xue Meng was the only exception. He crossed his arms, turned his head, and snorted,
completely ignoring Jiang Xi.

Everyone blanched with fright — it was obvious to all how terrible Jiang Xi's temper was; had
Xue Meng eaten the heart of a bear and the gall of a leopard?22 As a junior, how dare he
arrogantly repudiate his senior!

For a time, everyone sweated stressfully for Sect Leader Xue. No one knew whether Sect
Leader Jiang would bestow him with "ten feet of red," or simply with “crane-head red".23

But who would have thought that Jiang Xi's eyes would only glance over Xue Meng for a
moment, and without saying anything, silently move away.

"???"

22
To eat the heart of a bear and the gall of a leopard, "吃熊心豹子膽" is an idiom meaning to behave
audaciously and foolheartedly.
23
Ten feet of red "一丈红" is a punishment used in the imperial harem where an offending concubine
would be beaten on the buttocks with a wooden plank until blood ran down for a "zhang", approximately
ten feet. Crane-head red, "鹤顶红" is an ancient name for the highly toxic poison arsenic.
Others were shocked, but Xue Meng didn't notice anything at all. He'd long gotten used to
arguing with Jiang Xi, and it had become instinctual for him to provoke him. This time he'd been
disregarded; he couldn't stop himself from glaring, repeatedly clearing his throat, readjusting his
stance, and letting out a snort once he'd achieved a more belligerent pose.

Jiang Xi paid no attention, and had no words for him. His eyes wandered around the hall, and
finally fell on Elder Chen. He asked: "Where is Ma Fangzhi?"

Before Elder Chen answered, Xue Meng snorted angrily again.

Elder Chen: "..."

This time, Jiang Xi finally turned his eyes and looked at him coldly: "do you have a sinus
infection?"

Xue Meng choked and said: "I, I......"

"If you do have a sinus infection, let me hear you snort again. I have medicine."

Xue Meng: "Y-you, you..."

Jiang Xi calmly said: "I also have treatments for stuttering. We will medicate until your illness is
cured; our house offers fair treatment to all."

The disciples of Taobao Manor were shocked!

How could someone who'd snorted thrice towards Jiang Xi not only not get beaten to death with
a cane, but even receive Sect Leader Jiang's meticulous attention? Receive the blessing of
having the sect leader ask about his health? His genuine and sincere care??

Even Mei Hanxue looked back and forth thoughtfully between Xue Meng and Jiang Xi. His pale
golden eyebrows were at first lightly knit, but grew more and more furrowed.

Outside the reception hall, a group of female Shou Hou disciples who were there to peek in on
the commotion were madly whispering among themselves. They couldn't help twittering
excitedly; Shou Hou A: "Aahhhhh! Look at Sect Leader Jiang spoiling him! That story 'The
Tyrannical Immortal's Pampered Bride' is true!"

Shou Hou B: "Nonsense! This is clearly from "The Years I Spent Sleeping with My Elder
Immortal"!
Shou Hou C: "You're all blind! Don't you see Mei-xianzhang's expression! Look how unhappy he
is! With all sincerity, I recommend you all read Dongshi Tea and Mushroom Book Shop's "Dual
Meis Trick the Pig"!

Shou Hou A and B raged simultaneously: "How dare you call Sect Leader Xue a pig!"

The individuals in question heard nothing of this chatter. Xue Meng, enraged by Jiang Xi, was
on the brink of attacking, but was blocked by Mei Hanxue.

Xue Meng stared bug-eyed in shock: "What are you doing? How can you be helping him?"

Mei Hanxue held Xue Meng's face in his hands and smiled: "Your face has turned green. Why
don't you sit down and have some tea, calm down a bit..."

"Let go of me!"

Jiang Xi looked over at the two of them indifferently.

In the eyes of outsiders, Jiang Yechen was the top-ranked elder of the cultivation world,
powerful and authoritative. And Xue Meng, no matter how brilliant a rising star, could be
defeated by a single finger from Gu Yue Ye. Everyone could see that the discerning mediator in
this fight, surname Mei, was there helping Xue Ziming, stopping him from pointlessly gaining the
enmity of Gu Yue Ye.

However, Xue Meng was blind to this fact, and was unable to see Mei Hanxue's earnest efforts.
Jiang Xi mentally shook his head, and turned his eyes away these two noisy members of the
younger generation.

With a calm face, he asked Chen Xuyuan, displeased: "I've been here for quite a while now.
Why hasn't Ma Fangzhi come out to greet his guests?"

Elder Chen was stunned under Jiang Xi's eyes, and suddenly he felt a pressure like he was
about to be crushed by five hundred billion gold pieces. He explained hurriedly, "No, no, no, it's
not like that! Our Manor Head isn't deliberately snubbing you! He is really very ill... "

Jiang Xi was still displeased, and shook out his sleeves: "Oh? How grave is this illness. Is he
unable to come out?"

"N-no, that's not it....our sect leader has been bewitched, he....he turned into a flutterfly and flew
away!"

"......"
Jiang Xi and the disciples from Gu Yue Ye all fell silent.

After some time, Jiang Xi's anger almost gained physical form. He narrowed his eyes, his thin
lips holding back his fury. Sneering, he said: "Elder Chen. Have you perhaps read 'The Legend
of the Fragrant Concubine' too many times?24

Chen Xuyuan became so frightened by Jiang Xi's attention that his head almost shrank into his
neck. He felt that Sect Leader Jiang might, in his fury, throw him into an alchemical cauldron and
grind him into medicinal powder. Thus, his brain spun rapidly in search of something to say to
close the distance between them, and possibly cause Sect Leader Jiang to grant him enough
mercy to spare his life.

Thus he cried out in nervous dread, surrounded with a ring of divine light: "Don't kill me, Sect
Leader Jiang! For the sake of us both being fans of 'The Legend of the Fragrant Concubine',
spare my life, please!"

"....." The whole hall fell into silence. Since the law couldn't be enforced when everyone was an
offender,25 those cultivators who didn't find the blind spot in Jiang Xi's words before also showed
their sudden realization without fear of death.

That's right. If Jiang Xi hadn't read this book, how could he know that the plot featured someone
turning into a butterfly and flying away?

At this point some of the onlookers came to visualize Sect Leader Jiang, in his leisure time,
earnestly perusing a book with the giant words "Legend of the Fragrant Concubine" written on
the cover.

....no one could bear to look straight at him.

Some people even started whispering: "So it turns out that Sect Leader Jiang's literary tastes
run this way..."

"I would never have thought, I guess it's true you can't judge a book by its cover..."

Jiang Xi's complexion had turned quite ugly. He held Chen Xuyuan's collar and briefly stared
intently at the man. Suddenly, he unexpectedly pushed Elder Chen away, and a few chilling
words came out of his thin lips: "Pull out his tongue. Immediately."

24
I'm not quite sure this is the correct reference, but the fragrant concubine, "香妃", was the nickname of
a favorite consort of the Qianlong Emperor. Legend had it that butterflies would flutter around her
whenever she appeared in the gardens. There's nothing about turning into a butterfly in this story though;
maybe meatbun is referencing something else?
25
"法不责众" is an idiom meaning that you can't censure one person for doing wrong when everyone is
doing the same thing.
Gu Yue Ye lackey: "Yes my lord!"

"AAHHHH!" Chen Xuyuan screamed, "Manor Head! Help! Help! Save me! "

Just in the nick of time, the little bee that had been resting on a teapot heroically flew out,
buzzing around Jiang Yechen, spiraling around him in circles, trying to thwart this merciless act.

Jiang Xi frowned impatiently: "Kill this fly for me, too."

Gu Yue Ye lackey: "Yes, my lord!"

Xue Meng couldn't stand the brazen actions of his supposed father any longer. Pushing aside
Mei Hanxue, who had been blocking him, he shouted at Jiang Xi: "Jiang Yechen! Stop
screaming about maiming and killing people!"

Pointing to the little bee, he said: "This is the Jieke Ma you've been looking for!! If you don't
believe it, ask him to dance for you!"

Jiang Xi brushed his sleeves, the silver and green fabric billowing in glimmering waves.
Suppressing his anger, he said to Xue Meng: "What nonsense is this?"

"Who's talking nonsense?" Xue Meng turned to Jieke Ma, "hurry up, start dancing. If you don't
dance, you're dead. "

"bzzz...." In order to survive, the little bee miserably landed on the table, and began to flap its
wings to the left, flap its wings to the right, then flying up in a spiral.

Jiang Xi：“……”

"Now do you believe me?" Xue Meng said irritably. "You were invited here to help, but here you
are ordering people killed. Why don't you think of an actual plan!"

Jiang Xi stared at the bee for a moment and then turned to look at Chen Xuyuan: "You said that
this is a butterfly?"

Chen Xuyuan covers his newly-released throat, coughed, and trembled: "Y-yes."

"...Come. We need to treat your eyes."

Chen Xuyuan: "Ah?"

Jiang Xi threw back his sleeves with a whoosh and said to his retinue, black-faced: "Then, we'll
examine Manor Head Ma."

Gu Yue Ye lackey: "Yes, my lord!"

After some commotion, Gu Yue Ye's disciples diagnosed Manor Head Ma: He truly was under
the influence of the scroll demon's peculiar abilities, and was thus turned into a diligent and
daring little bee. However, the spell wouldn't last for long. After five days, he would recover his
own human form, and be able to play with his favorite abacus again.

"Ah..." After hearing this, Elder Chen Xuyuan clasped his own eye medicine and asked
nervously: "Do we have to wait five days? Can't we directly give medication to the Manor Head
now? "

"I could prescribe medicine. But it would be pointless."

"Why?"

Jiang Xi: "It would take six days to refine the medicine."

“……”

With no way out, Manor Head Ma could only begrudgingly spend five days as a bee. After
providing medical treatment, Jiang Xi's business was done, yet he had no intention of leaving
just yet.

He said to Xue Meng: "I already told you not to get involved with Ma Fangzhi's spiritual
instrument, but you wouldn't listen. Now look at this disaster."

Xue Meng crossed his arms and glared: "Why don't you mind your own business?"

Jiang Xi said coldly: "This already is my business."

"You!" Xue Meng said angrily: "Jiang Yechen! Are you looking for a fight?! I said I didn't need
you to worry about my business, and that's final! Hurry up, shoo shoo shoo, don't disturb this
Sect Leader's plans! "

Jiang Xi lowered his eyelashes sneeringly and glanced at him: "Who wants to care about your
business? I need to be involved, because the scroll spirit is chasing after beauties all across
Lin'an. Yesterday, it broke through the barrier to my Gu Yue Ye. It was disturbing my peace. Did
you think I would come here otherwise?"
The lackeys beside Jiang Xi added in support of their sect leader: "Yes, exactly! This matter
requires Sect Leader Jiang's help. You don't even know...last night, it impersonated Sect Leader
Jiang's appearance. It blew through Yangzhou City's pleasure district and slept with seven, eight
famed courtesans in a row, and promised to make them Gu Yue Ye Sect Leader's first wife,
second wife, third wife...all the way down to the eighth wife!"

Xue Meng: "..."

Lackey: "When our sect leader went out this morning, he unexpectedly met this group of women
face to face. They surrounded him, whining at him, calling him husband in front of all the people
of Yangzhou. Oof, Sect Leader Xue, you couldn't imagine it, Sect Leader Jiang got so mad, his
face even—"

"Are you quite done yet?" Jiang Xi loomed, cutting him off.

With this scolding, the lackey was scared into shrinking his head into his neck.

Mei Hanxue couldn't help but lower his eyelashes and giggle. Jiang Xi noticed, and his gaze
sharpened like two knives, yet he only turned his eerie gaze back towards Xue Meng: "In any
case. This matter is for me to settle. You don't need to concern yourself with it anymore."

Chen Xuyuan listened to Jiang Xi's plan to eliminate the spirit all by himself. He couldn't help
blanching from fright: "Se-sect Leader Jiang! You absolutely can't subdue it by force! If you do,
it'll leak out the intimate secrets of everyone in the cultivation world!"

According to Jiang Xi's original plan, he really was going to send out an invitation to the scroll
spirit tonight, and then when it came, finish the matter by weakening it with medicinal powder
then smashing it into pieces.

But when he heard Elder Chen, Jiang Xi couldn't help furrowing his brows: "What intimate
secrets? Aren't they only some conversation records?"

"How could that be it?" Chen Xuyuan said: "The first time every cultivator used the scroll, they
had to answer a series of questions. Once the scroll breaks, all these answers will be made
known to the entire world." After a pause, he carefully reminded Jiang Xi: "Sect Leader Jiang, if
you've ever used the relief scroll, then you should have also answered these questions."

Noble people often forget things. Jiang Xi lightly tilted his head and tried to think for a while, until
he finally remembered the incident in question.

At that time, the scroll did ask him many very personal and perverted questions—

"Is there anyone you like?"

"If no, then why not?"

"Do you have children?"

"Why do you have a child?"

"May I ask if it was an accidental pregnancy?"

"Why did you insist on reproducing when you don't like children?"

"Did your spouse abandon you?"

Xianjun, Xianjun, please don't scold me here. This scroll is only concerned about how you
express love. Additionally, in light of your situation, we recommend that you purchase Taobao
Manor's sunset-red spiritual instrument. Every week, we will introduce to your single-parent self
three to five outstanding lonely xianjun. We wish that you may achieve a happy second
marriage as soon as possible.

——
How wonderful. He remembered that unpleasant experience in its entirety now.

Jiang Xi kept a steady face. He thought: even unto death, he would never allow his answers to
those answers to be made known to the public.

While he was gloomily resting his hand on his chin, silently considering other potential methods
of subduing the scroll spirit, he heard Mei Hanxue's voice: "Sect Leader Jiang, if nothing else,
your position is lofty, and you are our elder. This matter is the fault of myself and Sect Leader
Xue. Let us gently resolve it; it doesn't appear to be something suitable for your abilities."

Jiang Xi didn't quite understand what he meant by "gently resolve", but he couldn't help but raise
his apricot eyes towards Mei Hanxue: "What are your plans?"

Mei Hanxue smiled: "Just like Manor Head Ma, my plan involves crossdressing in order to tempt
it."

"....."

Although he didn't quite understand why this young generation was so coquettish, it had nothing
to do with him, so he let it slide. Jiang Yechen's eyes swept up and down Mei Hanxue, and he
was just about ready to say "Alright, please do your best," and leave the scene; then Mei
Hanxue added with a smile, "And it won't be too difficult to get Sect Leader Xue dolled up
either."
Jiang Xi stared.

Xue Meng also stared; his expression was exactly the same as Jiang Xi's. "What?! You want me
to pretend to be a woman and and flirt with that scroll spirit?"

"Exactly," Mei Hanxue confessed with a grin.

"Why not do it yourself!" Xue Meng yelled.

"The three of us will do it together, then one of us should definitely be suitable, and also—"

Before he finished, Jiang Xi interrupted with a dark face: "Be quiet. Listening to you gives me a
headache."

The Mei brothers and Xue Meng simultaneously looked at him.

Jiang Xi's mood seemed cold enough to send people into shock. His face seemed carved out of
ice; he glanced at Xue Meng. He then turned his head, and said frostily to Mei Hanxue: "....He's
not suitable. I'll do it."

Ch. 338 Xue Meng Extra: Jiang Xi Gets Hoisted By His Own Petard26

Although Jiang Xi volunteered to stop the job, in fact, no one believed that Jiang Xi would have
any skill in dressing up as a woman.

Everyone suspected that Jiang Xi only had a perfunctory idea of what "women" were. But when
Elder Chen ran up to him and cautiously asked: "Sect Leader Jiang, you...you do know the ways
that girls differ from yourself, correct?" Jiang Xi only replied indifferently: "I know."

"Ah..." Elder Chen was very surprised. "I thought you'd never had contact with any woman..."

"Who said that?" Jiang Xi said, indifferently again.

Xue Meng was surprised to hear this. Frightened, he thought Jiang Xi would want to use
Madame Wang as an example. Hurriedly, he wanted to stand up and stop him, but then he
heard Jiang Xi's next sentence:

26
This chapter title….SO. The original title is 姜曦扑街, which more or less means “Jiang Xi falls into the
street in a manner suggesting he’s suffering from the consequences of his own misguided actions”. It’s
net slang. I think “hoisted by his own petard” is a close enough English approximation.
"A being measuring less than eight che, comprised of skin and flesh. Its outside dimensions are
obtained through measurements; once deceased it can be dissected for analysis."27

Elder Chen's face showed befuddlement: "...what does that mean?"

"Aiyah, our sect leader is saying," a Gu Yue Ye lackey replied, "that he has dissected female
corpses."

"....."

Apologies, this medical sect is truly too terrifying.

Elder Chen sputtered for a while, before he managed to stutter out: "Th-then, Sect Leader Jiang
sh-should be very familiar with the particularities of young ladies?"

Jiang Xi glanced at him with indifference, and displayed his thorough understanding of the
subject with an expressionless face: "The bones are fine, the voice is pitched high and smooth,
there is a high percentage of fatty tissue, the body shape is curved, and contained within are
parts such as the vulva, ovaries, and so on."

Dead silence.

Jiang Xi coldly and confidently looked down at him, paused, and said: "I wrote the volume 'Gu
Yue Ye's Gynecological Prescriptions Worth A Thousand Gold'. The book contains anatomical
diagrams. If you are curious, you can take a look."

Mei Hanxue: "Pfft!"

Xue Meng: "..."

Mei HanXue：“……”

After quite some time, Elder Chen facepalmed. He thought of the ways this cold-blooded
hothouse flower might think up to disguise himself as an amorous beauty to deceive the scroll
spirit, and couldn't help but softly wail: "It's over, it's all fucking over..."

Excuse me, with Jiang Yechen's level of understanding, how the hell is he expected to
convincingly play a woman?

27
A che is a measurement of approximately one-third of a meter. This is a quote from the Huangdi
Neijing, a 2000 year old foundational chinese medical text. It is a very approximate translation, because
hell if I know how to actually translate 2000 year old medical texts, and I couldn't find a pre-existing
translation to do the job for me.
Is he planning on dissecting himself?!

Night time.

Taobao Manor's lanterns were brightly lit, its windchimes gently chiming.

Jiang Yechen had early on finished his preparations, and was waiting alone in a side room. In
accordance with Ma Yun's theory on how to catch this spirit, Sect Leader Jiang also lit some
bewitching incense in the room. Dressed as a woman, he waited for the scroll spirit to come in.
As long as the spirit voluntarily stayed in the room for a cup of tea, their plan would succeed.
The scroll spirit would inevitably lose its will, and express its adoration to anyone, even a sow.
They could then take the opportunity to subdue it gently.

Of course, the letter inviting it in was written by someone else, because Sect Leader Jiang had
no idea how to write it himself. After a long time of deliberation, he had written one vigorous and
ferocious character, "COME", which inspired awe in onlookers. Fortunately, Taobao Manor's
Shou Hou disciples were experts at soft persuasion. Soon, they wrote a new letter for Sect
Leader Jiang, filled with unceasing affection and longing that flowed like the tides. So that
emergency was solved.

At this moment, all the manor's disciples were hiding in the dark. Xue Meng also watched from
the grass. He whispered to Mei HanXue with some uncertainty: "Will it be okay? Could Jiang Xi
really distinguish between all those different makeup powders? Does he really know how to
dress up as a woman? "

Mei HanXue replied with no attempt at consolation: "We'll see."

"....."

Feeling even more uneasy, Xue Meng swallowed his saliva, and said with difficulty: "Maybe I
should check up on him, I—"

Just as he was about to emerge from the grass, Mei Hanxue grabbed him and pressed him
down: "Hush."

Then he motioned at Xue Meng to look at the walkway leading to the side room and whispered:
"Here it comes."

In the moonlight, the scroll spirit wore a cloak, probably a deliberate imitation of the style of
Taxue Palace. Surrounded by an unceasing ring of floating petals and fluttering butterflies, the
spirit wandered aimlessly into the courtyard. Although its face was hidden by a hood, looking at
its gait you could tell it wasn't too clever.
From Jiang Xi's chamber came the faint sound of a bamboo flute. After listening to this music for
some time, the scroll spirit thought this flute player wasn't too bad, but might be better playing
the xiao.28 It then happily walked to the door, and softly knocked twice: "M'lady, this humble one
has received your invitation, and has come to call on you. May I disturb you?"

After its two knocks, Jiang Xi ignored it. Seeing that the door was open, it stopped being polite
and said: "If m'lady doesn't mind, this one will enter."

Jiang Xi still didn't answer, but Xue Meng suddenly gasped: "Why does this voice sound so
familiar?"

In that side chamber, the scroll spirit has opened the door and entered the room, and the flute
finally stopped. Although Xue Meng felt uneasy, he still thought, ah, as long as Jiang Yechen
could delay it for a cup of tea, it would then become entranced by the incense in the room, and
develop affections for anyone in the room. And then, they could bring it down in one fell
swoop—

Before he could finish his thoughts, he heard a loud boom!

Xue Meng said, alarmed: "What happened? It's only been a blink of an eye! Surely Jiang
Yechen's disguise as a woman couldn't have been so bad that it made it vomit!!"

In front of the dumbstruck eyes of all onlookers, the scroll spirit flew into the air, along with a
wooden door and an overturned table, all of it lit by the light of an unsealed spiritual weapon.
Contrary to Xue Meng's expectations, it wasn't making a "bluurgh!" retching sound, but rather an
"aaaahhh!" screaming noise. Under everyone's attentive gaze, it smashed into the ground with a
"thump".

Everyone: "......"

"Uaaoowwww....." The scroll spirit cried out miserably: "Ow, owowow...it hurts ow...."

Meanwhile, Jiang Yechen came out brimming with murderous intent, brandishing his sword. Mei
Hanxue stared, blinked twice, turned his head and asked Mei HanXue: "Am I blind? In what way
is he dressed as a woman?"

"You're not blind." Mei HanXue looked at Jiang Yechen expressionlessly from a distance. "He
didn't dress up."

28
The xiao is an ancient chinese bamboo flute, played from the end (compare with the dizi, which is
played from the side. Lan Xichen in MDZS plays the xiao.
But then Xue Meng said: "He did dress up!"

Mei HanXue：“……”

Mei Hanxue: "???"

"...In what way is he dressed up?"

Xue Meng pointed to Jiang Xi's wrist: "Look, he's wearing a slender white jade bracelet. Only
women wear that."

The Mei brothers simultaneously fell silent. After a while, Mei HanXue said indifferently: "The
way I see it, you and Jiang Yechen really aren't that different. You probably think the difference
between whether someone is dressed up or not depends on whether they've put on lipstick."

Xue Meng stared blankly, and said, at a loss: "...well, isn't that the case?"

Mei HanXue：“……”

"While they were talking in their corner, over in the yard:

No one knew exactly what had happened between Jiang Xi and the scroll spirit, but he was so
furious that his handsome eyebrows were knit into a vertical line. His spiritual weapon
Xuehuang flowed with silvery light in his hands, making a buzzing sound. With one hand, he
hauled up the paralyzed scroll spirit that had been lying on the ground. The monster cried out:
"Aah! Great beauty! Great beauty! How can you be so tyrannical? How can you bear to raise
your hand to my handsome face!"

Jiang Xi snarled: "You're dead!"

"Waaahhhhh this is murder!"

In the fight between the man and the spirit, the scroll spirit's hood slipped down, revealing the
face hidden inside—

The onlookers were speechless.

This scroll spirit truly deserved to be beaten to death. It...it it had the audacity to wear Jiang Xi's
face!

If they thought about it, this was something they already suspected. Around last night, it had
taken on Jiang Xi's appearance to visit courtesans in Yangzhou, and had received quite a warm
welcome. This spirit probably got a bit arrogant, so tonight it once again copied Sect Leader
Jiang's facial features to show off and swindle the innocent.

It just so happened to bump into Jiang Xi himself.

But because it wasn't very clever, it didn't realize that it was indeed Jiang Yechen himself who it
was flirting with. So just now in the room, everyone could think of what kind of things Jiang Xi
had experienced—

Unfortunately he probably saw "himself" grinning as he entered the room, flirting and saying all
sorts of things as he played with his hair, sweetly and intimately calling out "M'lady~". Maybe
he'd even received some arrogantly flirtatious once-overs from "himself."

...no wonder Jiang Xi was so furious. Who wouldn't be furious in his place?

Seeing that Jiang Xi was genuinely seething in rage and wanted to execute the scroll spirit on
the spot, the disciples of Taobao Manor who were lying in ambush rushed out one after another,
and in an uproar hurried to soothe him.

"Sect Leader Jiang! Don't act impulsively!"

"As soon as you strike it, it'll release all its secrets!"

"Please calm down Sect Leader Jiang!!!"

The scroll spirit looked stupid, but it made a nimble, speedy escape. When it saw that the
situation wasn't good, it immediately scrambled away in the chaos, seeming to fly as it scuttled
away to escape into the night's darkness.

While running away, it bellowed in a profound theatrical voice: "I, Gu Yue Ye's Jiang Yechen, will
return! Wahahaha!!"

"...." Jiang Xi's straight, finely-shaped nose looked like it would grow crooked in his fury.

"You vile little beast!" he screamed, livid.

In this life, he had never before seen "himself" flee like a rat. Who would dare to even think of
such a thing!

The scroll spirit probably thought that just yelling wasn't quite irritating enough, so he went
ahead and imitated an echo, calling from far away: "I, Gu Yue Ye's Jiang Yechen, will
return—will return—return—turn—"
"You're dead!"

All the disciples coaxed: "Sect Leader Jiang, Sect Leader Jiang please—"

Jiang Xi: "I'll show you what happens if you dare use my face again!"

All the disciples begged: "Sect Leader Jiang, Sect Leader Jiang please—"

Jiang Xi roared: "I'll make you suffer from epilepsy, gonorrhea, hysteria, nasal hemorrhage,
craniotomy, scrotal gangrene, every single illness in the Feng Lao Gu Ge—"29 he continued
roaring, but everyone had already ceased to have any comprehension of the medical
terminology he used.

Everyone tried to coax him down, but only Xue Meng asked a question in all earnesty: "....What
does Feng Lao Gu Ge mean?"

Mei Hanxue, standing to the side, said: "I believe it is the four incurable illnesses as described in
medical books."

Seeing that Xue Meng seemed to understand (but really didn't), Mei HanXue on his other side
explained expressionlessly: "Simply put, he wants it to suffer and be tormented by every single
illness until it dies."

Xue Meng's face twitched ever so slightly, and he turned his head to continue watching the fight.

The furious Jiang Xi was surrounded by a group of Taobao Manor's Shou Hou disciples, who
ceaselessly begged him: "No, no, let it go, please, let it go!"

"Sect Leader, please calm down, please relax, please!"

Jiang Xi's rage was obviously not easy to quell. Sect Leader Jiang was not a broad-minded
man, and having been recently bedridden for several months only made his temper more vile.
Adding to that the fact that this spirit took on his appearance to do disgraceful things only made
him boil with fury. He momentarily lost all sense of decorum, and ferociously yanked his sleeves
away from the grasp of whichever little disciple was supporting him: "Release me!"

"Okay okay okay, i'm releasing you, whatever the Sect Leader says, goes—"

"I will kill that—"

29
Jiang Xi is referring to the 风痨臌膈四大证治, a medical text focused on strokes, wasting illness, edema,
vomiting, and nausea.
The disciples who had just breathed a sigh of relief hurriedly blocked him again: "You mustn't!
You absolutely can't!"

"Hurry, bring the sect leader a seat, pour some tea, let's cool him down."

In the chaos, suddenly there was a flash of green light. The disciples screamed in utter shock,
and one after another scattered. At the same time, Jiang Xi's gait suddenly became unsteady;
he stumbled a few steps, then suddenly fell into a kneeling position on the ground.

Everyone instantly fell silent. They all blamed each other with their eyes—

Heavens, why didn't you hold on to Sect Leader Jiang!

You were the one close to him, and you're blaming me?!

But what was that green light...

At this time, the little bee that the Manor Head had turned buzzed its way over. Elder Chen
Xuyuan froze for a moment, suddenly changed color, slapped his bald head, and shouted: "No
no no not good! Sect Leader Jiang couldn’t contain the scroll spirit either! He's going to be
cursed too! He's going to turn into an animal too!!"

When Xue Meng heard this, he jumped up from the grass with a crashing sound; alarmed, he
said: "WHAT?!!"

Ch. 339 Xue Meng Extra: Go Balls to the Wall, Wanning!

Under the moonlight, the disciples of Taobao Manor lined up in a row and looked with utmost
deference at the steps in front of them.

In addition to the tiny bee lying prone on the steps, there was also a fantastical bird with a
shimmering white body and jade-toned tail feathers—it looks a bit like a crane, a bit like a
phoenix, and a bit like a peacock. In short, it looked like an animal that definitely wasn't from the
human world.

In truth, there was no such bird in the human world.

It was Sect Leader Jiang's transformed form.

The celestial bird that used to be Jiang Xi has a slender, elegant neck, eyes like colored glass,
and pupils that shone like the reflection from a cold sword, like moonlight on a lake. His delicate,
yielding plumage was suffused in silvery radiance, and overflowed with brilliant light as if it were
Shuangjiang.30 His entire body was of the lightest silver; only the very ends of his tail feathers
were tinted in the palest green, like verdant jade condensed under ice.

"It looks like Sect Leader Jiang's clothes," someone in the crowd whispered.

One female cultivator said softly: "Such beautiful feathers...I want to pluck one out to keep."

Only Xue Meng, that honest and earnest child, solemnly studied Jiang Yechen. After a while, he
released the question that had been burning in his soul: "What breed of chicken are you?"

"....."

In response, Jiang Yechen fixed him with a fierce yet icy gaze.

"Or are you a duck?"

If anyone else had dared to ask this type of question, they definitely would have already been
killed. But this was Xue Meng. Jiang Xi couldn't do anything; he could only look at him with
haughty indifference. He didn't want to deal with these foolish commoners anymore, so he
spread his glimmering wings, flowing with light, and flew away from Taobao Manor without a
sound.

It looked like he wasn't planning on coming back.

There was a possibility that he would never want to come back to Taobao Manor in this lifetime.

Everyone gazed reverently at Xue Ziming with hero worship in their eyes. Xue Meng didn't
understand: "Does he plan on going back to Gu Yue Ye like this?"

The female cultivator who wanted to pluck Jiang Xi's feathers looked at his trail with starry eyes:
"Aahhhh, Sect Leader Jiang is sooo beautiful, his flight is leaving behind a trail of silver and
green lights!"

Her sisters reminded her: "It might be because of his clothes. You weren't here to see how long
Sect Leader Jiang's robes trailed after him...oh hey, do you think when he's walking that he'll trip
over himself?"

At these whispered comments, the two major lackeys from Gu Yue Ye, who were intimately
familiar with their sect leader's temper, gave a fierce warning to all the people in the courtyard:

30
Shuangjiang is the 18th of 24 solar terms in the traditional East Asian calendar, usually beginning near
the end of October in the Western calendar. The season is considered to be marked by the onset of cold
and morning frost.
"No one is permitted to speak of what happened tonight. Otherwise, should you be afflicted with
a difficult-to-treat ailment, forget about coming to Gu Yue Ye, and accept your imminent death!"

After they were done, they led away the retinue from Gu Yue Ye, and with flapping noises,
followed Jiang Yechen away from Taobao Manor to return to Gu Yue Ye.

Who would have thought that Sect Leader Jiang, head of the world's number one ranked sect,
would be defeated by the scroll spirit? Although the scroll spirit couldn't really hurt Jiang Xi, how
many people in the world could disgrace him so thoroughly?

Everyone couldn't help but worry. Of the leaders of the nine great sects, Ma Yun and Jiang Xi
both had broken. They each had their their own strengths, and neither were weak leaders. So
then...the ones who served as the younger generation, Xue Meng and the Mei brothers, could
they really smoothly defeat this spirit?

This felt very worrying...

Taobao Manor was suddenly shrouded in a cloud of doubt and a fog of misery. Even the little
bee that had been Manor Head Ma drooped his wings, and seemed so dispirited that he might
never flutter again.

At this time, Mei Hanxue, who was examining the things that Jiang Xi had left behind in the
room, suddenly let out a laugh.

Xue Meng turned to him: "How can you be in the mood for laughter? What's so funny?"

"Come and see."

Xue Meng was still a bit unwilling to deal with Mei Hanxue, but he couldn't help his curiosity, and
sidled over.

Mei Hanxue smiled so widely his jade eyes sparkled. He raised a paper document and said to
Xue Meng, "I've never seen this method of dressing up as a woman. Sect Leader Jiang is truly
brilliant."

"What's this....he relied on a piece of paper to dress up as a woman?" Xue Meng, utterly baffled,
took that sheet of paper from Mei Hanxue. Upon reading it, he was gobsmacked.

What the hell is this!

Jiang Xi actually took one of Gu Yue Ye's prescription slips, and wrote upon it, with calligraphy
as bold as flying dragons and dancing phoenixes, two lines of script—
This is to certify that this person is a woman.

-Signed, Medicinal Sect Gu Yue Ye Sect Leader Jiang Xi.

He even stamped it in crimson red with his sect leader's official seal.

Xue Meng: "....."

Mei Hanxue looked at him while holding himself back from bursting into laughter. He was
resisting so hard it looked like his ribs might crack from the effort.

"Well fuck." Xue Meng crumpled up that prescription. "Is Jiang Yechen a pig??!!"

Mei Hanxue smiled and raised one slender index finger. He brought it close to his lips, indicating
that he should lower his voice and calm his temper.31 He said with a smile, "He's a celestial bird!
Not a chicken, not a duck, and definitely not a pig. You saw it yourself just now. Actually..."

He paused for a moment, his smile faded, and looked at Xue Meng thoughtfully: "Why do I
suddenly feel like....you look a little like him?"

"!!"

Xue Meng jumped up like a cat that had its tail trampled, and shook his head like a bolang gu32:
"That, that that's nonsense!!! The two of us are total strangers, we have absolutely no
relationship to each other!!!"

"I see." The color of Mei Hanxue's jade-colored eyes deepened. After a moment's silence, he
didn't say anything more. He just smiled mysteriously. "I wonder, if you were the one to be
defeated by the scroll spirit, what kind of bird would you turn into?"

"....."

Under Mei Hanxue's relentless gaze, Xue Meng felt that he couldn't fail lest he risk death -
maybe Mei Hanxue would pluck out all his feathers and gift them to some girl to coax her favor!
Yeah! This was definitely the kind of thing Mei Hanxue would do!

He, Xue Ziming, definitely must not fail!

---

31
It is unclear here whether MHX is raising his finger to Xue Meng's lips or his own. I will choose to
interpret this as a deliberate choice by meatbun!
32
bolang gu: a small drum-shaped rattle often used as a children's toy. See:
https://traditional-chinese-musical-instruments.weebly.com/bolang-gu-253202801040723.html
Aside from himself, those who thought Xue Ziming definitely must not fail, and also definitely
must not turn into an animal, were the numerous elders and disciples of Taobao Manor.

After all, Xue Meng was the last card in their hand, and couldn't be played lightly.

Thus, Chen Xuyuan said: "I advise that you three gentlemen shouldn't act recklessly. This scroll
spirit has been formed by the tastes of Sect Leader Xue and Mei-xianzhang. If you want to
catch its eye, perhaps you two should think deeply about what kind of girl you think is the most
suitable to your tastes, and could make the scroll spirit fall in love at first sight."

Mei Hanxue said: "I think all the girls in the world have their own beauty. If this spirit is so picky,
it must not be because of me." He turned to Xue Meng: "We should consult Sect Leader Xue for
his sage opinion."

Xue Meng thought for a moment, and said: "...The best woman in this world is my mother. "

Upon hearing this sentence, Mei Hanxue immediately stopped smiling. The pair of jade-lake
eyes below his brows looked askance at Xue Meng's face, and in his heart he ever so softly
sighed.

In truth, when he pretended to be Shou Hou to accompany him, it was precisely because he
knew how poorly Xue Meng had been feeling for a long time now. Even if Xue Meng would
occasionally raise a ruckus like he would do in the past, the part of his heart that had been
shattered to pieces was extraordinarily difficult to return to its original form.

He wanted to make him happy, tease him to laughter, help heal him, as a sort of expression of
their shared friendly affection.

But it seemed like Xue Meng's scars were still exceptionally difficult to heal.

Mei Hanxue shook his head internally, and raised his hand: "I agree with this statement."

Elder Chen Xuyuan said awkwardly: "But, Madame Wang, she...."

The more the old man said, the more pained he sounded. Mei Hanxue interrupted him and
turned to Xue Meng and said: "Let's talk of someone else."

"....someone else? There isn't anyone else. No one else is worthy of me."

"Then think carefully for a bit. It's alright if it's someone that doesn't exist," Mei HanXue said.
"Talk about your requirements, we can change our looks to match them."
Xue Meng had no choice but to start thinking seriously.

After thinking for a long time, he finally began to talk about his requirements: "Number one,
white skin."

"Okay."

"Number two, big eyes."

"Good."

"Number three, she must be...ah, at least prettier than, you know." He was visibly
uncomfortable. "She has to be prettier than...than Shi Mei."

The crowd listened to Xue Meng's spousal requirements. In the beginning, some elders kept
notes, in preparation of finding a girl who would meet all the noted demands. But after listening
to more than a dozen, the elders stopped this stupid endeavor.

It's because they began to realize that what Xue Meng wanted probably wasn't a woman.

What he wanted was probably a Buddha.

They were afraid that only Buddha had the openness to tolerate Xue Meng's youthful
mind—were these really the kind of things that a young man in his twenties could say?

Does he just fundamentally not understand the concept of women???

And he's still yammering on???

"Number twenty, genuinely and sincerely admires me."

"Number twenty-one, is diligent and thrifty, and doesn't waste too much soap when doing the
laundry."

"Number twenty-two, restraint is a virtue. I don't want her to eat too much, no more than two
bowls of rice at each meal."

"Number twenty-three. I don't really like makeup on girls, so she shouldn't use any cosmetics."

"Number twenty-four, but she should still be beautiful. Her lips should be naturally rosy, her skin
should be naturally fair, her cheeks should have a natural blush."

"Number twenty-five, she needs very long legs."

"Number twenty-six, but she shouldn't be taller than me."

Finally, one furious female disciple couldn't take it anymore. In a crowd that had resisted rolling
their eyes and yawning this entire time, one person couldn't resist shouting out: "For fuck's sake,
enough already!! Why don't you go home and marry a red-crowned crane?!!"
Xue Meng crossed his arms, and turned his head to stare at her: "....."

The present couldn't be compared with the past. Female cultivators from before could dare to
challenge Xue Meng, but now he was a sect leader. For the sake of self-preservation, the
female disciple nervously licked her lips, and shrunk down with an "eeep!": "I was wrong Sect
Leader Xue I was only talking in my sleep eeeeep!"

"Twenty-seven, she can't sleep talk."

The female disciple: "....."

When Xue Meng reached his 370th requirement,33 Mei HanXue finally interrupted him.
Everyone let out a giant sigh of relief. They thought that if there was no one to stop him, Sect
Leader Xue might stand there the entire night until dawn. Mei HanXue obviously also had
developed a headache; Although his expression remained ice cold this entire time, a trace of
aggravation could be seen in his face.

"Xue Ziming, why don't you stop."

"I haven't finished yet."

Not caring that he hadn't finished, Mei HanXue asked coldly: "Are you familiar with Nüwa?"

Xue Meng's expression was blank. "What do you mean?"

"Were you the one who forced her to die?"34

"......."

Seeing the two arguing again, Mei Hanxue helplessly smiled and raised his hand: "Alright, let's
calm down. Let me ask a question: Xue Ziming, is there someone out there who you would
never dismiss, never argue with, who you would never lightly ignore when you see them?"

33
This is not a typo.
34
Nüwa is the ancient Chinese mother goddess and creator of humanity. MHX is likely referring to Nüwa's
role in sacrificing herself to repair the Pillars of Heaven after they were damaged by the gods Gonggong
and Zhurong fighting to determine who would rule heaven.
He paused for a moment and explained to the crowd with a smile: "I think this person will be a
little easier to find than Sect Leader's Xue's wife."

All the people who had been tormented by Xue Meng for the last two hours nodded their heads
in succession, recognizing this to be true.

Xue Meng glared at him: "Well, it definitely won't be someone like you."

Mei Hanxue wasn't angry, and smiled: "I know."

After thinking for a while, Xue Meng suddenly stood up straight and opened his eyes wide—he
actually did think of someone he would absolutely never look down on—

"Yes! I've got it! My Shizun, Chu Wanning!"

A drowsy female cultivator who had fallen into a fetal position listening to Xue Meng enumerate
his requirements was suddenly startled awake, and furiously wiped away the drool that had
fallen while she was asleep: "Ehh? What got it? Who's got it? Chu-zongshi got it???"

The whole crowd of disciples: "......"

She raised her head, and faced a Xue Meng who glowered at her with the ferocity he would use
facing a ghost. The female cultivator let out an "eeek!," silently shrunk herself into a ball, and sat
in this fetal position in the farthest corner.

Ch. 340 Xue Meng Extra: Wanning is Super Great!

Warning: dubcon

Chu Wanning. Mo Ran. Taobao Manor.

When these three names floated in Xue Meng's mind together, they reminded him of some past
events that he couldn't bear to remember—in the past, Taxian-jun told him that Chu Wanning
had slept with Mo Ran at Taobao Manor, right in front of him, just behind a curtain.

The trauma this caused to his psyche was far too great.

If he could turn back time, he would scream out, right before Taxian-jun could open his mouth to
say that first word—

"Stop talking! I can already imagine what happened!!!"

Yet one cannot walk back to the past, and must face the present.
In order to subdue the scroll spirit, Xue Meng had to ask Elder Chen Xuyuan to write a letter to
his Shizun and his cousin, and respectfully invite Chu-zongshi to come out of seclusion to help.

Then they began to wait.

Nanping Mountain was on the banks of West Lake, and is the mountain closest to Taobao
Manor. Even if you didn't travel by sword, and went through the barrier hidden in the clouds by
foot, it would only take around one or two shichen.35

But for some reason, after the letter was sent and they waited until dawn, there still was no
response from Chu Wanning.

Mei Hanxue was very perceptive, and realized the cause of this. He looked at the rising sun,
stood up, and said to the crowd: "You all should go and get some rest. I'm afraid we won't hear
from them at all this morning."

Taobao Manor's disciples had stayed up all night. Hearing him say this, they didn't think too
deeply about the implications. They simply nodded their heads, yawned, and scattered, with the
intent of taking a restorative nap.

Only Xue Meng frowned and looked at him: "Why aren't we waiting any longer? My Shizun will
arrive soon, he never sleeps in."

Mei Hanxue smiled slightly and said: "There is still so much you don't understand about your
Shizun."

"Bullshit! You think you know him better than me? Want to bet on that?"

"Oh?" Mei Hanxue saw how obstinate he was, and his spirit was roused. He said, as if to tease
a bird: "What are we betting? I seem to recall you didn't take much money when you left, so
what are you putting up?"

"Who said I didn't take any? You just wait..." Xue Meng gritted his teeth, and began feeling
around in his money pouch.

It wasn't as if he had no money, but he had only recently become sect leader. Although he did
his best to puff himself up in front of others, he still lacked experience. Elder Xuanji worried that
he would spend money wastefully, or be cheated by a woman like Hua Ruowei, so the Elders as
a group scrupulously managed his funds. And so every month, Xue Meng could only get from
Xuanji a few handfuls of pocket money.

35
A time period equivalent to two hours.
And this month, shamefully, in order to date Jiang Xi, he has already spent the majority of his
savings.

And Jiang Xi still dared to look down on him! That look Jiang Xi had when he was "Ruo Ying"
was obviously mocking him for being poor!

Not to mention dating Taxian-jun and those other "marvelous" blind dates.... Xue Ziming, the
proudest son of his generation, has been squeezed by those flirty bitches to the point that he
had to start rationing the number of straws in his straw hut.

But in order to defend Chu Wanning's reputation, no matter how hard, no matter how exhausted
he was, Sect Leader Xue must bet!

If it comes to it, he could cut the amount of straw by half!

So Mei Hanxue watched Xue Meng rummage through all his nooks and crannies, and take out a
scattered pile of copper coins, which all together numbered probably less than fifty. Xue Meng
slammed them on the table with the air of presenting 500 billion, and two small copper coins
rolled and tumbled to the ground.

Mei Hanxue: "....."

"I bet that my Shizun will arrive right after breakfast time!" Xue Meng said with the firmest
resolution.36

"...and if he doesn't come?"

"That's up to you!"

Mei Hanxue looked at that shabby pile of copper coins, turned his head, and smiled: "I heard
that Chu-zongshi said that if you want to gamble, you should gamble big. Why don't we put
money aside, and look at something else?"

"What something else?"

"You'll run naked through the streets, and sell your skills in a pleasure house."

Xue Meng: "??!!"

36
The idiom used here to describe Xue Meng's resolve is 斩钉截铁, which literally means "to chop nails
and cut iron"
Mei HanXue raised his brows: "What's this nonsense?"

Mei Hanxue covered his mouth with his hands, rolled his hands and smiled: "I wasn't serious,
just teasing him."

"Let me think some more..." Mei Hanxue crossed his arms, and frowned in thought. "How about
this...Why don't we have the loser dress up as a girl according to the directions of the winner?"

"....." Xue Meng wrinkled his forehead with dissatisfaction. "Hold on, Mei Hanxue, have I ever
forced you into women's clothes before? Why can't you seem to get past this issue?"

This time, Mei Hanxue and Mei HanXue both stared at him with an aura of unfathomable
mystery, to the point where Xue Meng felt goosebumps rise on his back. Stuttering, he said:
"What are you doing? I was kidding, it's not like I've actually done that. I, I have always been
upright, never b-bullying the weak... "

"Of course." Mei Hanxue said with a smile, "you are the best."

Xue Meng: "..."

Why did this all feel so ominous....

...

It turned out that Xue Meng's intuition was occasionally truly accurate.

Xue Meng, waiting in hope, waited until that hope was lost, and finally fell into despair. In the
afternoon, he finally heard an announcement from the disciples outside the Manor:
"Chu-zongshi, Mo-zongshi have arrived—!"

Chu Wanning's hair was bound with a jade guan, his white robes billowing. As always, his
demeanor was pure and profound, aloof and cold, carrying the aura of a celestial being. Yet for
some reason his eyes were ever so slightly red, his expression unexpected, and there were the
smallest hints of anger lines between his brows. Mo Ran, on the other hand, stood to his side a
step behind, with an expression of helplessness, looking somewhat comical.

It turned out that last night Chu Wanning had already heard the spirit bird that Taobao Manor
sent, crying outside. Concerned that it might be an emergency, he wanted to take a look. But
last night was Taxian-jun's turn, and his nature was to be disinclined to care about other
people's affairs. He was already so far in, how could he stop? Several times, Chu Wanning
wanted to interrupt him, and initially, Taxian-jun humored him, saying things like "almost there,"
or "we'll take a look as soon as we're done."
But Mo Ran was a dirty lying scoundrel. What "almost there"? What "we'll take a look as soon
as we're done"? There was no "done" to speak of! Ma Yun's bird was screaming its head off
outside; meanwhile, the head of Taxian-jun's own little bird wasn't the least bit tired.37

Finally, Chu Wanning insisted on going out to see just what was going on. In a fit of rage,
Taxian-jun actually tied him directly to a pillar, and in order to break Chu Wanning's will, fed him
some illicit under-the-counter medications. With these shenanigans, the spring night became
endlessly delightful and sweet, and even if later in the night his personality switched back,
Mo-zongshi, seeing Chu Wanning in such a state, also couldn't stop himself.

So it wasn't until the next day's afternoon that Chu Wanning woke up from his haze and
received the notice from Taobao Manor that the scroll spirit was causing disasters in Lin'an.

This delay was clearly caused by Taxian-jun. However, Mo-zongshi and Taxian-jun were one
and the same. Tracing what happened back to its source, it was all due to Mo Ran's own faults.
Chu Wanning refused to speak to him the entire trip down the mountain, treating him as if he
were a statue.

"Chu-zongshi, Mo-zongshi!"

"Greetings to Chu-zongshi, Mo-zongshi!"

Chu Wanning knew the exact cause and effects of the trouble the scroll spirit caused. So when
he entered the reception hall and saw Xue Meng, he wanted to lecture him for his willful
stupidity. But Xue Meng's position couldn't be compared to that of the past, and he had to save
him some face.

So Chu Wanning, finally, just frowned slightly and said: "how did you get into such a mess?"

Xue Meng originally started to complain, but when he saw Chu Wanning, all his unhappiness
vanished. Immediately, he said: "Shizun, the scroll copied me, I didn't intentionally..."

Mo Ran stared: "Xue Meng, after we said farewell at Wuchang Town, you...why did you keep
playing with the scroll for so long?"

"What do you mean?"

37
This is the most terrible pun the character for bird, 鸟, is pronounced “niao”, but when pronounced as
“diao” means “penis”
Mo Ran wanted to roll his eyes, but it was a "secret" between two brothers. So he mouthed to
Xue Meng behind Chu Wanning's back: "You dumbass! You're out here sowing your wild oats,38
is this the kind of behavior worthy of Sect Leader Jiang?"

Xue Meng didn't understand: "Can't you raise your voice a bit? Do you have a sore throat?"

Mo Ran: "....."

Screw him for being a dumbass!!!

But if he turned his back on Xue Meng, this mess will never get settled, so they might as well
help. Except—

"What?! You want Shizun to dress up as a woman!??"

Xue Meng said awkwardly: "I don't want to do it either, or, actually, we could have Gu Yue Ye
write a prescription, and have it say this person is...is......"

He peeked over at Chu Wanning's austere, frozen profile. "This person is a woman," he wouldn't
be able to say something like this even unto death.

Mo Ran looked like the sky was falling. How could he let Chu Wanning show himself in front of
other people dolled up like that? This was madness!

But they had to do something about this present situation. He looked at Xue Meng, and braced
himself, looking like he couldn't get out what he wanted to say. After a long silence, he finally
said helplessly: "Why not me instead."

Xue Meng looked up, completely at a loss.

Mo Ran: "I will face the scroll spirit in his stead."

"You? You want to dress up as a woman?"

"Why not?"

Xue Meng: ".....Dage, are you a bit confused about yourself? "

Mo ran startled, and felt a bit wounded. He turned to Chu Wanning: "Shizun, Xue Meng said that
I'm not good-looking."

38
Literally "to fondle the flowers and trample the grass"
There was a sense of shame in his tone.

Chu Wanning knew that he was talking to himself, changing his tone to be petulant. He didn't
bother paying attention. Relaxed, he drank a cup of just-brewed Zhuyeqin,39 and then raised his
gaze: "Why do you have to dress up? Isn't there a ready-made solution available?"

No one understood what he meant.

Chu Wanning turned his face towards Mo Ran slightly and said indifferently: "Your qiankun
pouch. Take it out."

It was the first time Chu Wanning had spoken to him since they went down the mountain; Mo
Ran couldn't help but be overjoyed. But Chu Wanning's face had an odd expression, and he
didn't say anything gentle, which made him feel disappointed. For a moment, he felt very much
like a master of the house, being scolded by his pampered concubine one one hand while
fishing out his money pouch with the other. He didn't know whether he should be happy or sad
about this.

A qiankun pouch was the equivalent of a cultivator's entire treasury. Chu Wanning wanted Mo
Weiyu's treasury, and moreover, didn't even have anything nice to say. But no matter how
unhappy Mo Weiyu was, he could only hand it over.

Why did he let himself get so beastly last night?

A circle of people intently watched Chu Wanning rummage in Mo Ran's qiankun pouch to see
what the so-called "ready-made solution" was.

They all thought these zongshi couldn't think straight. Jiang Xi's idea of crossdressing was to
write a prescription; they had no idea what kind of astonishing performance Chu Wanning would
produce. Would he find ten night deities to pull a banner behind him, and have written on it
something like "Yuheng of the Night Sky Beidou Immortal Chu Wanning Has Entered The
Scene"?40

As the crowd indulged in their flights of fancy, they heard Chu Wanning, knitting his sword-like
brows, say impatiently: "Your qiankun pouch is a disaster. What on earth are you putting in
here?"

"......"

39
Zhuyeqin is a variety of green tea produced on E Mei mountain in Sichuan province.
40
Chu Wanning's name is normally written 楚晚宁, with his given name containing characters meaning
"night" and "peaceful"; here it's written as 楚婉凝, with characters meaning "graceful" and "to attract
attention"
Mo Ran self-consciously rubbed the side of his nose. He used to be very clean and tidy. He
arranged his bag very scrupulously. However, ever since his entire soul reunited with his body,
his character changed every three days, and the secret struggle between the two personalities
was reflected in the qiankun pouch. For example, as Taxian-jun, he would sneak in some hot
pepper seeds, hoping to plant peppers in Nanping Mountain, but when he became Mo-zongshi,
he would throw all the pepper seeds out.

When Taxian-jun reappeared, he was naturally furious. Feeling that his life was unhappy, he
would absolutely never let his other self be happy either. So he would make a mess of the
qiankun pouch, smash all the trinkets collected by Mo-zongshi, or go down the mountain to
pawn his things at the pawnbroker, so as to buy himself beautiful clothes.

So how could this qiankun pouch not be a mess?

Everything was mixed together, and with everything in a jumble things were hard to find. Chu
Wanning dropped some objects that were blocking his view onto the table; Xue Meng, curious,
looked over to see.

"Records of Gods and Demons."

Mo Ran explained: This is my book, I wanted to know more about the histories of ancient gods
and demons."

"Oh... Not bad." Xue Meng went on to read: "The Night Sky Collection".

"This book has the histories of many cultivators. Our predecessors all had different reputations
and faced different challenges to those reputations, but they also all had their own aspirations
and obsessions. They're like stars in the night sky, each with its own light in the darkness. It's a
very interesting read."

"...I can't believe you've progressed this much." Xue Meng was quite surprised. "It's like one
book after another."

Mo Ran smiled, and said: "It's because Shizun taught me well."

Xue Meng went to the next book.

"Postpartum Care for Sows."

Mo Ran's smile froze on his face.

Finally, he said resolutely, waving his hand: "....This was purchased by Taxian-jun. It has nothing
to do with me."
Xue Meng: "........."

Chu Wanning didn't pay attention at first. Hearing this, he raised his eyes and asked: "Why did
he want to buy this? We don't have this sort of animal at home."

Mo Ran said: "I.....he... it's like this. One time he went down the mountain in Yirong and saw that
the people in the village were holding a livestock show. At the time, he was inexplicably
confident, and ran to compete. The result was that he couldn't beat the village's veterinarian
Wang, so he got angry, and bought this book....if he studied hard, he'll definitely win next year,
and the shame from this year would...41

The more he talked, the more ridiculous he felt. When he heard a young disciple of Taobao
Manor who couldn't help let out a snigger, Mo Ran shut his mouth in embarassment, and
glanced over at Chu Wanning with some amount of hesitation.

Chu Wanning said, incredulously: "Why on earth would you participate in...a livestock show?"

"There...there were prizes." Mo ran blushed slightly, lowered his head and muttered, "I think...if
he won, he thought he could go buy you the finest clothes from Fei Yun Zhai.42

Chu Wanning said, silently:43 "Fei Yun Zhai is near Jiangdong Hall. That Hua Ruowei had sent
someone to bring an entire eight boxes of clothes and accessories before, and you burned it all
without even saying anything. Now you want to go and buy it yourself?"

"It's not the same." Mo Ran said immediately, "That girl looks at you the wrong way. She better
not think I can't see what she's scheming. Look at the kinds of things she sent: outer robes,
guan, inner clothes you wear right next to your skin... " The more he spoke, the darker his face
became. "She'd better not even think about Shizun wearing those things she brought!"

"......"

As Chu Wanning listened to this speech, one couldn't tell if his eyes displayed helplessness or
embarrassment, but those two dark, fathomless pools finally softened. At long last, he pressed
his lips together, and suddenly asked: "Mo Ran, today, are you the you from your previous
incarnation, or the you from this present life?"

41
Please note that this part in the original had no pronouns, so it's ambiguous whether Mo Ran is
referring to "he" or "we" as the ones who want to win the livestock show next year.
42
I'm not sure what this is a reference to? When I searched Fei Yun Zhai I found a bunch of ancient
bronze urns. If you know what this is feel free to let me know!
43
I have no clue what meatbun meant by “said silently”, but it is literally what she wrote.
"Of course I'm me from this present life." Mo Ran was briefly stunned. "Shizun, why do you
ask?"

"Look at how you are now." Chu Wanning's eyes finally held a glimmer of a smile. "How are you
different compared with your previous life?"

He had always been an icy beauty, cold down to the bones, and his expressions were subtle, so
no other people would have been able to see this tiny smile of his. But for Mo Ran, even if Chu
Wanning developed only a thread of a wrinkle between his brows, he could feel a bright change,
like the coming of the wind, the snow, the rain. Seeing that he was no longer angry, Mo Ran
couldn't help but lower his long eyelashes, drop his gaze, and smile, his cheeks dimpling.

Chu Wanning seemed to be on the verge of saying something else, but then felt that what he
said just then was too embarrassing. So he turned his head, and refused to speak to him again.

But this kind of ignoring him and the kind of ignoring him that happened when they came here
obviously meant two different things. Mo Ran just chuckled, and stood beside him obediently
like a good boy without speaking.

Chu Wanning finally found what he was looking for from the qiankun pouch—

"The illusion sachet."

His long, slender, well-proportioned hand held the band of the sachet. Chu Wanning said:
"These were sold together with the relief scroll, and allow the user's appearance to change in
the eyes of others based on their original appearance, without the need for any real change in
dress or physical form."

Everyone from Taobao Manor: "........."

Chu Wanning paused for a moment, and finally said, with the greatest amount of incredulity:
".....No one here thought of it? "

The makers of the relief scroll and the illusion sachet shook their heads in unison. It is unknown
who first came up with the phrase "to ride a donkey to look for a horse," but "to ride a donkey to
look for the donkey" absolutely referred to these cultivators from Taobao Manor.44

44
骑驴找马 "to ride a donkey to look for a horse" is an idiom meaning to use your existing, non-ideal
resources to get to what you really want. 骑驴找驴 "to ride a donkey to look for a donkey" is like when
you're looking for your glasses when you've been wearing them the entire time (not that i'm speaking from
experience...)
In this way, the issue of dressing up was finally solved, and everyone breathed a sigh of relief.
As it was time for dinner, they all planned to quickly go to the dining hall to fill their stomachs,
then wait in the evening for the next appearance of the scroll spirit.

As everyone left one by one, Mei Hanxue suddenly appeared right next to Xue Meng's ear and
whispered: "Xue Ziming."

Xue Meng was suddenly extremely alert: "What?!"

Mei Hanxue said with a low smile: "I'll tell you a secret."

Intuition tells Xue Meng that it's usually better not to listen to Mei Hanxue's secrets. But curiosity
still drove Xue Meng to open his mouth: "Wh-what is it."

Mei Hanxue said gently: "It's just...that method that Chu-zongshi said....actually, I had thought of
it already."

Xue Meng was gobsmacked and turned to look back at him. "Then why didn't you say
something earlier?"

Because wasn't it Jiang Yechen who needed to dress up as a woman before?" Mei Hanxue said
with a smile, "I didn't tell him, because I wanted to make things a little difficult for him, and give
you a good laugh."

"......" Xue Meng was ready to give him a good scolding, but when he said that, his mouth
suddenly became dry, and his scolding wouldn't come out.

Mei Hanxue chuckled: "You're not going to thank me?"

"Thank you for what! What about after Jiang Xi left! Why didn't you say anything then!"

"Oh, after he left..." Mei Hanxue paused for a second, his glass-blue eyes filled with emotion.45
He raised his fingertip to his lips, and smiled: "I didn't tell you then, because I wanted to make
things a little difficult for you, and give myself a good laugh."

Xue Meng: "???"

"By the way, I'm reminding you that you lost your bet. Remember your promise. I'll be waiting."

45
Meatbun.pls. Are MHX's eyes blue or green, make up your mind! Jade and turquoise and whatever
other things you've compared them to are not the same color!
"In your dreams!!!" Xue Meng can't help roaring: "Fuck your waiting! You want me to dress up as
a woman for you?!! In your next life! Kill this fantasy now!!! "

The sound of his voice startled the people into looking askance at each other. What they didn't
know before, now they knew. In whispers, they conferred: "Aiyah, Sect Leader Xue is going to
crossdress?"

"Looks like Sect Leader Xue won't do it, and he'll have to eat his own words."

"Poor Mei-gongzi, he won his bet, and he still has to get scolded."

"How miserable..."

Xue Meng's face was getting greener and greener among the crowd of twittering murmurs. Mei
Hanxue was silent for a moment, and smiled: "Are you really so unwilling?"

"Bullshit!"

"Rude." Mei Hanxue smiled again, and nudged Mei HanXue with his elbow, "Ge, look at him.
Isn't he fun?"

Mei HanXue glanced at Xue Meng who had blown up like a puffer fish, and said indifferently:
"It's not fun. Don't make him crossdress either."

"Why? He's hot enough."46

Xue Meng: "You—! You—!"

“Hot enough to make my eyes feel like they’re on fire."

“???" Xue Meng was about to explode!

Mei HanXue was even worse than Mei Hanxue! Mei Hanxue just said he was hot, but Mei
HanXue actually said he made his eyes burn!!!

Xue Meng couldn't help but raise his hackles, and yelled, careless of consequences: "Mei
HanXue! You stop right now! Come back here! Who the fuck is so ugly they make your eyes
burn? Have you ever seen me get prettied up, huh? You think I wouldn't dare!! If you have the
guts, we'll see who's better at it!"

Mei Hanxue smiled: "Ah, so you really want—"

46
The original term used to describe MHX uses is 辣, which literally means "spicy", and is used in the
slang 辣妹子, describing the stereotypically independent and bold women from Sichuan province, and 辣
妹, the Chinese equivalent of the Japanese gyaru archetype.
Before he could finish, Mei HanXue interrupted him, pulling Mei Hanxue's arm to stop his
nonsense. Then he turned to Xue Meng and said: "No. According to what you just said, you
would be better off leaving crossdressing for your next life."

"Fuck that!" Xue Meng, roused, pointed at Mei HanXue, raised his handsome brows, and
lectured: "When did I say I'd be willing to do it in my next life?"

Mei HanXue raised his own eyebrows: "You just said it yourself. Actually, in this lifetime, please
focus on being a good sect leader. Don't be a harlot. "

Xue Meng stuttered: "How...how dare you...you dare to...you said I'm...."

"Yes. I dare," Mei HanXue said, indifferently blinking his turquoise eyes, as if he were taunting
or teasing him. "Then that's settled. You owe us a bet. "

"I'll wait for you in our next lives, Xue-guniang."

Xue Meng stood there stunned for a very long time. At the moment that Mei HanXue turned his
head, he screamed: "Who owes you a meeting? What did you call me? Mei HanXue! Don't you
dare go! I'll fucking kill you! Arggghhh!! You stop right there!!!"

Ch. 341 Xue Meng Extra: Wanning Gets Hoisted By His Own Petard

In order to check everything thoroughly, Taobao Manor's Elder Chen asked Xue Meng to take a
look at Chu Wanning while he wore the illusion sachet, before he would officially meet with the
scroll spirit. This was to see if there was anything unsatisfactory, or not in line with Xue Meng's
taste.

But Xue Meng was still raging at Mei HanXue, and held his rage to the point that his chest hurt.
When Chen Xuyuan ran into him in this state, Xue Meng massaged his chest and said angrily:
"Nonsense! What's there to be unhappy about! My Shizun is the best in every way! "

Chen Xuyuan said: "Aiyah, Sect Leader Xue, he may be your Shizun, but he is not the scroll
spirit's Shizun."

In other words: "You should put aside your own biases and look at Chu-zongshi again. You need
to know that the scroll spirit will not bring personal feelings to this meeting, so please look at
Chu-zongshi once more, as a stranger, and see if he meets your requirements. "
"Nonsense! How could it be just my opinion that I think my Shizun is incredible in every way?"
Xue Meng glared. "I'm telling you, if the relief scroll had made me meet up with my Shizun, even
if I didn't know who he was, I would've definitely thought that he was most amazing person on
earth, no mistake!"

Xue Meng's conviction seemed ironclad, but Chen Xuyuan still persevered: "No no, we should
still test it once, just once." Then he pushed Xue Meng into Chu Wanning's room.

However, as Xue Meng was being pushed right outside his guest room, he raised his head and
saw the door. He suddenly froze.

W-wasn't this the same room that Chu Wanning slept in when they first stayed at Taobao Manor
together?!!

At that time, Xue Meng didn't know what Mo Ran and Chu Wanning were doing inside. When he
had confidently entered with no hesitation, Mo Ran had no choice but to hide behind the bed
curtains. Only later would Xue Meng realize that Chu Wanning's watery and steamy eyes were
red not because of fever, but because...

Stop right there! He can't bear to remember those events!!

In order to avoid making the same mistake, Xue Meng decided to let them know that he had
arrived, especially Mo Ran! He would absolutely never let Mo Ran do such shameless and
prepostrous things again! Absolutely never!

So he began to walk back and forth at the door, deliberately coughing loudly. Just in case he
wasn't making enough noise, he then stomped forcefully on the floor bricks. He
jumped—whirled around—stomped loudly—

The door creaked open.

Mo Ran, dressed neatly, stood at the door, his figure tall and handsome. He looked at Xue Meng
like he was seeing a ghost: ".....what are you doing?"

Xue Meng was at that moment in the middle of performing a Sand Flat Falling Goose pose.47
Upon hearing the noise, he turned his head and his mouth gaped. Before he could answer, he
heard Chu Wanning's sonorous and cold voice come from the room: "Mo Ran, is it another one
of those harebrained young women making mischief outside?"

Mo Ran smiled: "Ah, no, it's Xue Meng."

47
平沙落雁式. This appears to be a reference to the 屁股向后平沙落雁式, a joke name for the motion a
student made as they were kicked flat onto their back in Jin Yong's novel The Smiling Proud Wanderer.
Then he lowered his voice, and said with a smile: "Why don't you come in? You could've just
knocked on the door. With all that coughing and stomping and prancing back and forth, we
thought there must have been a ghost outside."

Xue Meng settled down, no longer brandishing his tail feathers, but still wanting to spit onto his
cousin's handsome face. Then, from inside the room, he heard Chu Wanning: "Since the Sect
Leader is here, what are you blocking him for? Let him in."

"......" Although Xue Meng knew that he had succeeded into the position of Sect Leader, Chu
Wanning, Sisheng Peak's Yuheng Elder, should have taken the senior role. Being referred to in
this manner made Xue Meng feel like something was squeezing around his heart.

Mo Ran smiled and inclined his tall, upright form: "Please come in."

Xue Meng was unhappy: "I need to talk to my Shizun about some private matters. Leave."

"Ah... are you practicing how to face the scroll spirit? Mo Ran, magnanimous, didn't argue with
Xue Meng. Smiling, he said: "Elder Chen told us already that we should rehearse, so nothing
unexpected happens."

"What can happen?" Xue Meng crossed his arms and rolled his eyes. "Since the spirit learned
from me, it should think that Shizun is faultless!"

"Not necessarily." Mo Ran agreed with Elder Chen. He patted Xue Meng on the shoulder. "In my
opinion, you think he is faultless because he is your Shizun. If you had gone on a blind date
back then, and had met Shizun, not "Leng Gong," and didn't know his identity, I think you almost
certainly would have fought with him."

"Nonsense!"

Mo Ran doesn't argue. Smiling, he inclined his head, and stepped aside. Calmly, he went
outside to wait.

Xue Meng entered the room. Before he could speak, he couldn't help but stare—

Chu Wanning was already wearing the illusion sachet, so in Xue Meng's eyes, the person
standing by the window was a tall, exceedingly elegant female cultivator dressed in white.

Her skin was luminous, like a solitary white cloud in the night sky. Icy white, she seemed
inhumanly youthful. A long, graceful neck rose from the collar of her white silk robes. The candle
light seemed to cast a layer of hazy shadows over her taut glowing skin: they fell across her
noble forehead and on her long, delicate eyelashes, they sketched the outline of the curve of
her soft nose bridge and landed on her lips, as thin and pale as borneol flakes.48

Finally, the candle flame, a pale, billowing wave of muddled yellow light, ended softly at her
refined chin.

Oh. So it turned out that Chu Wanning's illusory genderswapped appearance is like this.

Xue Meng kowtowed: "Shi-, Shizun...."

"En."

Chu Wanning acknowledged him, and turned around.

His original form would strike anyone with his exceptional beauty, but Chu Wanning's illusory
female form had such a sense of austere dignity and cold pride that it inspired awe down to the
bones. Especially notable were the eyes beneath those long brows; their shape had a natural
charm, and their corners seemed touched by haitang nectar, showing the faintest hint of red. Yet
her gaze was extraordinarily alert, and controlled.

Beautiful indeed, but she was a cold beauty. A terrifying beauty.

Chu Wanning glanced over at him: "A bit ugly."

"......ah?" Xue Meng said blankly.

I'm afraid I'll scare the scroll spirit away," Chu Wanning said solemnly.

Xue Meng jolted at this statement, and swiftly said: "What? No no no! How could that be? Good
looking! Shizun is very good looking! "

Chu Wanning had never been confident in his own appearance. In his two lives, the beauties
he'd seen were as numerous as clouds; leaving aside Mo Ran himself, Shi Mingjing's and Song
Qiutong's looks were both peerless among the mortal realm. In his heart, Chu Wanning knew
clearly that he was mean and temperamental - difficult to love.

One look at Xue Meng's frenzied panic confirmed this.

The only one who wouldn't turn his back to him was Mo Ran.

48
Borneol is a fragrant traditional chinese medicine that can come in the form of translucent crystalline
white flakes.
Chu Wanning shook his head and said to Xue Meng: "Why don't you sit down."

Xue Meng gingerly and primly sat at the table.

Chu Wanning sat down opposite him, brushed away his sleeves, poured two cups of green tea,
raised his eyes, and said: "This appearance is insufficient, but its character can be amended.
Tell me, what do you like in a girl?"

Previously, in front of the people from Taobao Manor, Xue Meng had released a deluge of over
300 requirements. But now when Chu Wanning asked, his voice froze.

The thing he was most concerned about was appearing respectful in front of Chu Wanning. To
list off his requirements one after another to his Shizun's face, then to have Chu Wanning follow
his directions to in order to do battle with the scroll spirit, how could he be so shameless as to
do that?

So he mumbled a bit, and finally said, guiltily: "I, I have no requirements. Just...as long as she's
alive, and a girl, then that's fine. "

Chu Wanning paused in drinking, and gazed at him through the dense steam drifting off the tea:
"Is that so."

"Y-yes. As long as she's decent enough, I could live with that. I don't need anything else."

"But why is it that I heard," Chu Wanning indifferently raised his eyes, "that you had quite a few
requirements?"

Xue Meng hurriedly waved off the question: "No, no, no, it was nothing like that! They, they
didn't understand what I was getting at, I was just talking nonsense."

"Then I don't need to be a diligent housekeeper?"

Xue Meng immediately replied: "How could I make you clean? I like people who don't know how
to do laundry!"

"You don't need me to stand by the door to send you off, and welcome you home kneeling?"

"Hai, it's not like I'm Japanese."49

49
Xue Meng's exclamation here is 嗨, which is literally pronounced "hai," so I'm presuming Meatbun is
punning on Japanese here. The term used for Japanese is 東瀛人, people from east of the ocean, an old
literary term.
"You don't need someone soft and deferential, who would never strike back if hit or argue back if
scolded?"

"No! I like someone with a strong temper."

"... You don't need me to be able to cook?"

"You must absolutely live a pampered life!"50 Xue Meng said, "If you were to reach for a ladle, I'd
fight you for it!"

Chu Wanning raised his eyebrows minutely: "I seem to recall you don't like cooking."

"It, it's a new hobby," Xue Meng explained haltingly. "I just recently started to like this kind of
thing."

Chu Wanning paused for a moment, and finally asked: "...Then, you also don't need someone
who's received the sect elders' approval?"

"No, I can decide on my own who I like!"

It took nearly an hour for this detailed inquisition to be over, until the conversation finally ended
without a hitch. Xue Meng left uneasily. When Mo Ran came in, he asked with keen interest,
"Wanning Wanning, how was the questioning? Did he ask for a lot?"

Chu Wanning shook his head and said: "It wasn't anything bad; other people misunderstood.
Over the past two years, Xue Meng has really matured quite a bit. I'm relieved."

Mo Ran: "..."

As a former bad disciple who used to deceive his teacher and spew lies to avoid his Shizun's
punishment, Mo Ran instinctively thought - why does this feel so off? He thought something
fishy was going on; maybe it wasn't that Xue Meng had learned some sense, but rather that the
honest Chu Wanning had been swindled...

Nighttime.

A Taobao Manor disciple came to report that the scroll spirit appeared in a brothel towards the
south of the city. Turning the establishment upside down, it demanded to see their greatest
beauty. But of the women that the scroll spirit had seen previously, all experienced major
personality changes. How could the madam allow her greatest beauty to see it?

50
The idiom here is 十指不沾阳春水, which means the ten fingers must not touch freezing cold water, and
refers to a pampered woman who doesn't need to do housework.
Fortunately, cultivators from Taobao Manor arrived in time, and had asked her to send some of
her people to stall the scroll spirit, after which they'd hurried back to ask Chu-zongshi to come.

"We've already sneaked the great beauty from her room. Chu-zongshi, we'll have to trouble you
next. Make sure it consumes that cup of tea, so it becomes drugged senseless!"

Chu Wanning thought: this scroll spirit had been transformed by Xue Meng's preferences.
Although the character of the spirit is malleable, Xue Meng was nevertheless an obedient and
sensible child. So there shouldn't be any difficulties.

In reality, Chu Wanning was gravely mistaken.

Of his three disciples, Mo Ran used to be duplicitous.51 In fear that he wouldn't be able to stop
himself from entering his Shizun's bed again, he pretended not to like him.

Shi Mei always held dark thoughts in his heart. In fear that he would expose his plans and
reveal his true nature, he also pretended not to like him.

In actuality, both of them were people who truly didn't care for little things like whether or not
Chu Wanning could cook or do laundry.

But Xue Meng was different from the other two. Xue Meng did pretend to like him.

Of course, Xue Meng did sincerely like his own Shizun, but of the three disciples, Xue Meng
was the one who truly couldn't tolerate many of Chu Wanning's habits. However, in order to
make him feel better about himself, Xue Meng would force himself to lie against his own
conscience that, "Shizun is wonderful!" "Shizun did a wonderful job washing his clothes!"
"Shizun's green vegetables and tofu are delicious!".

But the scroll spirit was different. it was equivalent to a Xue Meng who has removed his
personal feelings for Chu Wanning.

So that night, after Chu Wanning saw the scroll spirit, the conversation between them went like
this——

The scroll spirit: "Are you the greatest beauty here?"

Chu Wanning: "Yes."

"Tch, you're not even as good looking as me."

51
口是心非, or to say yes when your heart means no.
Chu Wanning: "..."

So this was how Xue Meng really felt.

... well, never mind, it's true that his looks weren't up to par. But no matter. His character could
be mended. He has rehearsed everything with Xue Meng before; there shouldn't be any
mistakes.

So he asked softly: "Would you like to listen to some music?"

"Nah, I hate listening to music, especially that weird obscene stuff from Kunlun Taxue Palace.
Gives me a headache." The scroll spirit spat out a piece of candied fruit from its mouth. Before,
it had been beaten into submission by Jiang Xi. And even though when it escaped it yelled out "
I, Jiang Xi, will return!", tonight it was still a bit nervous, and couldn't easily take Jiang Yechen's
form.

The face it used tonight was Xue Meng's.

So Chu Wanning saw his most well-behaved apprentice swinging his leg and eating candied
fruit in front of him with no manners whatsoever, and arrogantly say: "Hey, let's talk about life."

"Alright."

"Do you usually cook?"

"I'm only good at making wontons."

".....Are you kidding me? How useless."

Chu Wanning couldn't help staring.

... Did he hear wrong?

Xue Meng thinks he's useless???

There must be something wrong, maybe he didn't express what he meant properly.

So Chu Wanning explained, "It's not that I don't know how to cook anything else, but I can't do it
very well - Didn't I hear that you yourself enjoy cooking? That if anyone were to reach for your
ladle, you'd fight them for it?"
"Who said that? Nonsense!" The scroll spirit said: "A gentleman stays away from the kitchen. 52
A manly figure like myself absolutely doesn't cook!"

"...So this isn't a new hobby of yours?"

"Of course not!"

Chu Wanning: "....."

... OK, he understands now.

It turns out that Xue Meng was a total liar!

Chu Wanning kept silent for a moment. His eyebrows twitched slightly, and a sliver of cold light
slowly grew in his eyes. This was fine. He really did want to know: how much of his true feelings
did Xue Meng conceal from him?

In this way, their continued conversation became more and more tangled, and the smell of
gunpowder in the air grew stronger and stronger.53

Scroll spirit: "Can you do laundry?"

"I can soak clothes in water and let them dry in the sun."

"Wow! A dog is cleaner than you!"

"....."

Will you stand by the door to send me off, and welcome me home kneeling?"

"You're not even from Japan."

"Wow! A dog is more virtuous than you!"

"......"

"Can you be soft and deferential, and never strike back if hit or argue back if scolded?"

"I don't think you can beat me in a fight."

52
The scroll spirit quotes an idiom from Mencius, 君子远庖厨. While it literally means "a gentleman stays
away from the kitchen", its figurative meaning is actually that a gentleman who has gotten to know an
animal can't bear to watch it die, hence, why he'll stay away from the kitchen.
53
Metaphorical gunpowder, in the sense that things are about to explode.
"Wow! A dog is gentler than you!"

"....."

"Can you work to please my parents and Shizun?

"I'm talking about feelings with you, not with your Shizun."

Wow! A dog has better manners than you!

"....."

"Would you mind if I practiced martial arts all twelve shichen and didn't have time to talk with
you?"

With each additional comparison to a dog, Chu Wanning's complexion grew paler and paler, and
his expression grew ever more indignant.

Xue Ziming......Xue Ziming!! He had thought that this disciple would never deceive him. A
straightforward child; if he liked something he liked it, if he didn't like something then he didn't.
He would have never thought that Xue Meng's brain would actually be like this!!!

He clenched his teeth, and said fiercely: "There are only twelve shichen in a day. Are you saying
you never have to go to bed and sleep?"

Unexpectedly, this "Xue Meng" was even fiercer: "Going to bed! All you think about is going to
bed! Can you not be so depressing! You have to be more energetic, am I right? Sunnier! A
woman's place is to look after her husband and her children; if you're bored, don't go all 'Oh I
have to be bedded, I have to get pregnant, oh, I need to bear a son and raise my household
standing," blahblahblah! Less romance novels, more cookbooks! Be a pure-hearted upstanding
wife!"

“………………”

There were so many things utterly wrong with this tirade that Chu Wanning was momentarily left
speechless. He couldn't even get a word out; he was so furious he wanted to spit blood.
Pushing down his anger, he turned his coldly raging phoenix eyes to stare down the scroll spirit
and his Xue Meng face.

After a while, his thin lips trembled, and in anger, he said: "You..."
"What about me? I'm telling the truth. To be my wife, you must be honest and pure. You can't
always have your mind full of such lewd things. Sigh. I don't think someone like you will do. Look
at you. You're a bad-tempered, friendless, dissatisfied layabout." The scroll spirit said this with a
disdainful face, and stood up. "Forget it. I heard that this house's greatest beauty was capable
and virtuous, but I guess it was all a lie."

"....." Chu Wanning was about to faint from anger. He had been a Shizun to three disciples. Mo
Ran had made him furious, Shi Mei had made him furious, he thought Xue Meng would be the
the easiest among them, the one who would never trouble him.

He didn't expect the scroll spirit to vomit out all of Xue Meng's sincere words - so all three of
them were the same, all worthless!

"I'm done talking to you." The scroll spirit Xue Meng turned around and left. "Seeya!"

At this time, the real Xue Meng, Mo Ran, and an entire party of other people were hiding in an
adjacent room, listening for any developments. Elder Chen Xuyuan held up an hourglass and
said: "Aiyah, it's almost time. Chu-zongshi certainly deserves the reputation of Chu-zongshi.
Just a little bit longer for the tea to take effect, and the spirit will be stunned. Hehe -"

Before a third "-he" could leave his mouth, he heard from the next room an earth-shattering
electric boom slice through the air, accompanied by the scream of the scroll spirit—

"Help! Help!! I'm being repressed!!!"

And then came Chu Wanning's wrathful voice: "I'll show you repression!"

"Waaaaaahhhh!! Someone save me!!!"

Turning pale with fright, they all rushed in. As soon as they pushed open the door, they saw the
shining golden light of Tian Wen in Chu Wanning's palm, its willow vine wrapped around the
scroll spirit's neck. The spirit's tongue hung out of its mouth; its eyes were rolled back into its
head, as if it was just about to kick the bucket. Chen Xuyuan hurriedly jumped up: "Aiyah,
Chu-zongshi, please calm down! You absolutely mustn't kill it! As soon as we kill it, everyone's
information will be exposed! "

Chu Wanning's black eyebrows furrowed in rage, and he snapped: "So what if it does! What sort
of shameful things does it know anyway?"

Xue Meng interrupted: "Shizun......"

Unexpectedly, Chu Wanning was furious towards him as well. Savagely, he said: "Silence, Xue
Ziming! When I'm done with this, you're next!"
Xue Meng: "???"

Shi- shi- shizun what happened! Not only did he not call him sect leader, but he even said he
would discipline him??

All sorts of emotions suddenly welled up in Xue Meng's heart. He didn't know whether he was
happy or panicked - happy since it had been so long since his Shizun had scolded him this way
that he actually missed it, panicked that...

For Chu Wanning to say such harsh things to him now, what exactly did that damned scroll spirit
say to his Shizun!!!

Seeing that the scroll spirit was just about down to its last breath, wailing all the way, Mo Ran
hurriedly grabbed his shoulder: "Wanning, let it go first."

Chu Wanning's eyes were as sharp as bayonets: "I'll kill it first and then let it go!"

Mo Ran didn't know whether to laugh or cry: "Then it'll be too late. Everyone's secrets will be
leaked."

Chu Wanning said angrily: "I have no shameful secrets. Do you?"

Mo Ran laughed, and tried to placate him: "Of course I do. It's just, ah, sometimes I can't reveal
them. Not because I've secretly done something wrong, but because there are things I'd rather
not let other people know."

Chu Wanning frowned: "Like what?"

"Uh... for example..." Mo Ran lowered his head, closed his eyes, and whispered a few words in
Chu Wanning's ear.

Xue Meng saw Mo Ran's long eyelashes become still. His black eyes betrayed a sense of
helplessness, and yet still brimmed with deep emotion as his lips moved, only making the
slightest motion. When he finished, Chu Wanning unexpectedly called back Tian Wen.

Angrily, Chu Wanning said: "Why you—"

Seemingly with some shyness, Mo Ran lowered his eyes and briefly smiled. Though
undoubtedly handsome and mature, the dimple on his cheek gave him the air of a pure and
inexperienced youth.
Chu Wanning seemed to want to hit him, but Mo Ran took his hand at once and said with a
smile, "I'm sorry, I did ask the scroll. I'm being honest."

"......"

Then he lowered his head, turned his face to the side, and clasped Chu Wanning's fingers, his
warm breath whispering over Chu Wanning's ear. In a low voice that only the two of them could
hear, he said: "But you know, I have no intention of letting anyone know what positions I like
Wanning to take when we go to bed."

Although these were words of endearment that thrummed with deep, heavy, sensual longing,
Mo Ran unfortunately didn't know what the scroll spirit had just said to Chu Wanning. When Chu
Wanning heard his last words, it was like someone stepped on his tail. He immediately slapped
Mo Ran's head and raged: "Go where?! What bed! Shouldn't I be less depressing? I have to be
more energetic, right? Sunnier! Think more about looking after my husband and children, and
stop thinking about this kind of nonsense! Stop reading romance novels, and start reading
cookbooks! Be a pure-hearted upstanding wife!"

Everyone from Taobao Manor: "....."

Xue Meng: "......."

Mo Ran: "???"

Only the scroll spirit took advantage of the chaos, and skipped upward like a carp. It hollered:
"Yes yes yes! Well said! You have learned my essence! Congratulations!" Then it quickly flew
out a window using qinggong, and as it flew, it cried out repulsively: "I, Xue Ziming, will return!
Muahahahaha!!!"

... At this moment, Xue Meng suddenly understood Jiang Xi's murderous rage yesterday.

This spirit is truly the worst.

Truly.

Ch. 342 Xue Meng Extra: Xue Meng Finally Seizes Total Victory