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Theory of Love
Theory of Love
-Charles Dickens-
This theory states that for there to be true love there should be three components: passion,
intimacy and commitment or decision. Each of these concepts is defined as follows:
Based on this triad, Sternberg proposes the idea that there are seven ways to love,
according to how they appear and how each of these three components is manifested.
These categories are:
Loving relationships
They occur when there is intimacy between two people, but no passion or commitment.
This form of love is characteristic of the relationships between friends. They are usually
very lasting relationships even if there is no formal commitment involved.
Short-lived romance
Empty love
In romantic love there is passion and intimacy, but no commitment. It’s “walking on air”,
being captivated by the other, but without any actual willingness to give importance to
the bond. This type of love usually disappears when faced with adversity or difficulties.
This kind of love has intimacy and commitment, but no passion. Both enjoy each other’s
company and have decided to maintain the link, despite not having any sexual ᄃ or
romantic desire. It is a typical form of love of great friends and more mature couples.
Foolish love
In these relationships there is a large amount of passion and a strong commitment, but it
is not intimate. Generally, the decision to remain together is born of sexual or romantic
desire, but not of confidence or support. This relationship is characteristic of people with
great insecurities and dependencies.ᄃ
Consummate love
It represents the ideal model of love, where all components are present: passion, intimacy
and commitment.
Sternberg indicates that this type of love is rare. It is not difficult to find, but it is difficult
to maintain. To achieve this, we must remember that affection must constantly expressed
and must be reinforced.
Regarding passion, many of the couples ᄃ surveyed reported that it was difficult to find
full harmony in passionate feelings. Sometimes men need it more and women less, or
vice versa. Most also indicated that passion is lost over time.
Something similar happened with the commitment component in the study. It was not
easy to find symmetry between two partners on this point. Apparently, over time women
expect a higher level of commitment, while men do not.