The Four Components of an Honest Expression:

Observations, Feelings, Needs, Requests (OFNR)

(Based on Dr. Marshall Rosenberg’s Nonviolent Communication Process )
OBSERVATIONS SAY:
I express clearly what I am observing: what I am seeing, hearing, touching, or When I (see, hear, etc.)
observing in myself. Observations contain no evaluation or judgement.
• “When you arrive 20 minutes later than we had agreed…” ________________________________________,
• “When I see dirty socks under the coffee table…” (state your observations)

FEELINGS SAY:
I identify and state the feelings that are alive in me in the present moment in relation to
I feel
what I observe. ● “I feel scared.” “I feel inspired.” “I’m excited.” “I feel frustrated.” ________________________,
Be careful to avoid “False Feelings”. Thoughts are not feelings. (state your feelings)

NEEDS SAY:
I identify the satisfied or unsatisfied needs that are alive in me now. These needs are the
source of my feelings. Needs are universal to all people.
because I am needing
• Some needs we all share: ________________________.
integrity, honesty, order, purpose, reliability, consideration (state your needs)

REQUESTS SAY:
I request a concrete action that takes into consideration my own needs and those of others. Would you be willing to
A request is not a demand. Use positive-action language by stating what you are _______________________?
requesting rather than what you are not. You can make a request of yourself or of others. (ask your reflection, connection or action request)

Putting It All Together; My Honest Expression:

When I ______________________________, (state what you observe)
I feel _______________________________ , (state the feelings alive in you now)
because I am needing ___________________. (state the needs alive in you now)
Would you be willing___________________? (state a reflection, connection or action request)

www.TrulyCommunicate.com Arleen & Lenny Prost arleenprost@gmail.com 613 -818 -1927