ATACADOR, Blessilda Beatriz E.

Art Appreciation - Concept Paper Proposal

2COM4 Prof. Nerisa Del Carmen Guevara

1. Loneliness is knowing that a you are not anyone’s best friend. The hollowness eats you up

making you build walls and loathe yourself. You were too afraid of being left alone that you

shut everything down and curl up into isolation . Having an incurable disease since I was 8

made me pessimistic. I often overthink things and I always felt like I was running out of

time. My head is occasionally filled with dark thoughts of having no future, growing old or

dying alone because I thought nobody could ever truly understand and love me, my disease

and all the emotional cargo I carry. When my boyfriend broke up wit h me, I was devastated

and my fear of loneliness was triggered. He was my best friend and confidant. He knew the

consequences of being with me, but he chose to love me anyway. Losing him was losing

hope for a happy future. I tried so hard to suppress my te ars the moment he said that he was

not sure about loving me anymore through chat. I was sobbing in the same room as my

parents, trying hard not to be heard as I take in the fact that my boyfriend wanted to leave

me. I only had a stuffed toy to hug and share my pain with. I have never felt so lonely and

insignificant. All the little optimism I was able to gather was simply shattered into pieces. In

that instance, a vivid image snuck into my head: a middle-aged me buying myself a cake on

my birthday, blowing its candles alone, a situation I consider as the loneliest I could ever

imagine myself experiencing. I do not know why this thought was etched up in my mind,

but the thought of having nobody else on your own birthday that you just end up consoling

your pitiful self by buying your own birthday cake is just so melancholic and thinking about

is a silent torture. It was a torture that I often torment myself with from time to time. Up until

now, every time I was triggered, this was the image that haunts my consc iousness.
2. In his article in The Guardian, Jones (2013), defined photography as capturing images

through film, paper or digital memory. I will actualize my personal issue through this artform

because as what Jones (2013) emphasized, “Photography captures the human condition –

better than any other artistic medium of our age .” It can depict the rawest moments of real

life. Jones thought that photography is an art embodying real life because real life is where

art comes from. I think I can attain transfiguration through photography because its beauty

relies on the genuine lived experiences that the lens can capture, but at the same time, the

artist can step in and manipulate some elements to elevate those moments and situations into

something sublime. I chose this medium because I believe that the vivid images inside my

head can be perfectly manifested through photographs since my thoughts are the purest

reflection of myself. The thoughts in my head that I want to convey might not yet be “real”,

but they become tangible and perceptible once they are turned into photographs. The fears I

am bottling up would not only exist inside my head anymore. These situations I often put

myself into when I am overthinking could be real moments in someone else’s life. These

images could just be in my thoughts for now, but I know that somebody out there could have

experienced these situations of loneliness.

3. The Guardian featured a street photographer’s work on “the subtle space between the

loneliness and solitude” of the city of London. Nicholas Goodden’s pictures caught my eye

as he captured his subjects in their state of solitude. In his photo called, Camden Town,

Goodden (2016) narrated, “I couldn’t help but notice this man sitting outside a pub in total

solitude, lost in his thoughts yet only a couple of met ers from the bustling street. I always

try to stay at a reasonable distance not to intrude .” I also liked his technique of using windows

as a barrier between the lens and the subject. In the article, he mentioned how most
 photographers tend to ignore looking through human-made barriers like windows. Using this

technique gives the element of mystery and highlights the issue of loneliness and isolation

as the window serves as a metaphor of one’s desperate attempt to conceal themselves in a

world where everybody watches. Goodden’s medium and long shots were able to show the

loneliness of London streets through the most mundane moments of strangers such as eatin g

alone in McDonald’s, listening to music alone or just staring at a distance, contemplating

about the absurdities of human life.

4. I want to actualize my darkest thoughts through black and white pictures of mundane, but

lonely situations in one’s life such as buying yourself a birthday cake, eating alone on a

family table, sipping coffee alone while staring at a distance or wallowing in a bed with only

a pillow or a stuffed toy to hug and share your thoughts with. Photos would be in black and

white to emphasize the melancholy that comes with loneliness and isolation. A smartphone

would be used to capture the images to establish that these were fleeting and instantane ous

thoughts and situations of loneliness. In an article by Gray (2012), he considered mobile

photographers more prolific because of their “photographic brains switched on all the time,

looking for possibilities.” He added, “ And the ubiquity of these cameras, combined with

their unobtrusiveness, have made them particularly effective at capturing candid moments

in public spaces.” With mobile photography, it is easier to capture moments that could

happen anytime, much like the images that I imagine inside my head. Moreover, I have more

freedom by using my smartphone as a camera. Gray (2012) emphasized this liberty,

“Suddenly, every free moment is an opportunity to both take and craft images. ” The set-up

would either be spontaneous or orchestrated. Angles to be used would either be medium or

long shots, close enough to establish a connection and far enough to put emphasis on the
subject’s surroundings to establish the subject’s isolation. There would be times that I would

try to find these instant moments of loneliness in the streets just like Goodden. Specifically,

I would search for subjects that are seen through windows. Although Goodden did not make

use of windows as barriers in all of his photos, I still wanted to adapt this technique to show

how something as transparent as windows can serve as either a person’s connection or barrier

to the world. On the other hand, if this does not exactly work, I can manipulate a set where

the subjects would be in those vivid thoughts of loneliness and the angle where the

photographs would be shot would be in a perspective of looking through a window

appropriating Goodden’s work (e.g. A girl in bed hugging a stuffed toy, but seen through a

window). My loneliness was not really from outside forces, but from within. I show my true

feelings, but I would always leave a barrier so that people would not truly see through me

completely. People could see me through these windows, but just a glimpse because I can

easily hide or shut the curtains. However, if someone out there truly cared enough, they

might reach out a hand through those windows. If it feels right, I might as well grab that

hand and know that perhaps, it is fine to feel afraid sometimes, but it also does not hurt to

take some risks. Often, we would find ourselves inside these windows, letting people see,

but not entirely. However, these windows could also serve as a connection so others can

reach us and help us get through dark times. We are so much more than the things that others

see through our windows. Through photographs, I can accurately manifest the images of

situations that I often vividly overthink I would be experiencing someday if I grow old alone.

Although I might not able to overcome my fear of loneliness, through my self portrait, I want

to at least try and put this feeling into another perspective where I can show that loneliness

may be sad, but it is something normal to feel.

 “I’m Loving It” by Nicholas Goo dden. ‘This lady was

having a coffee at McDonald’s. I paused for a second and

wondered about her day, what she’d been up to, where she

was headed next, why she was alone … and yet nothing

really came out. I couldn’t figure out anything.’ Image

taken from:

https://www.theguardian.com/artanddesign/gallery/2016/sep/09/nicholas -goodden-street-

photography#img-1

“Kentish Town” by Nicholas Goodde n.

‘Many photographers look around them but often forget

to look through human-made barriers like windows.

This student was at the Kentish Town library, not doing

much work, listening to his music with his eyes closed,

the warm sun on his face. Peace is a rare thing in cities

and that’s why I try to capture it when I find it’. Image taken from:

https://www.theguardian.com/artanddesign/ gallery/2016/sep/09/nicholas -goodden-street-

photography#img-3

“Camde n Town” by Nicholas Goodde n. ‘This

photo was shot in Camde n Town, north London. I couldn’t

help but notice this man sitting outside a pub in total

solitude, lost in his thoughts yet only a couple of metres

from the bustling street. I always try to stay at a

reasonable distance not to intrude’. I mage taken from:

https://www.theguardian.com/artanddesign/gallery/2016/sep/09/nicholas -goodden-street-

photography#img-4
 On Gallery Day, I plan to display the pictures by putting them in a window frame . Each

picture would be in squares of 7x7”. Each square would be separated by a 1” allowance. The

frame’s whole size would be 25x25”. The frame would be made of wood and painted black. I

would hang this on the wall in the gallery.

7x7 inches

25x25 inches

1 inch allowance

Image taken from: https://ww w.kristendukephotography.com/how -to-turn-vintage-windows-into-

picture-frames/
References

Duke, K. (n.d.). How to Make a Window Picture Frame. Retrieved March 18, 2020, from Beyond

Good Intentions with Kristen Duke: https://www.kristendukephotography.com/how -to-

turn-vintage-windows-into-picture-frames/

Gray, R. (2012, November 16). The rise of mobile phone photography. Retrieved March 16, 2020,

from The Guardian: https://www.theguardian.com/artanddesign/2012/nov/16/mobile -

photography-richard-gray

Jones, J. (2013, January 10). Photography is the art of our time. Retrieved January 30, 2020, from

The Guardian:

https://www.theguardian.com/artanddesign/jonathanjonesblog/2013/jan/10/photography -

art-of-our-time

The Guardian. (2016, September 9). London's lonely streets: moments in a silenced city – in

pictures. (Guardian News and Media) Retrieved January 30, 2020, from The Guardian:

https://www.theguardian.com/artanddesign/gallery/2016/sep/09/nicholas -goodden-street-

photography