"Citizen" is when horse dung smells like a circus to you.

If your daughter changed her gender, she's a daughter now.

In any sphere, I feel like a fish in water: shoal after shoal.

Residents of Kamchatka were the first to meet the VAT increase.

Guests are people who make it difficult to go home without underwear.

Semyon studied in such a bad school that his certificate was pinned on his back.

Idiots don't need to unite - this is already their planet.

My vision is still one hundred percent, but it's just a different distance now.

2018 first was like a stroke with the little finger on the leg of the bedside table.

"But when the deaf see you yawn, do they think you're yelling?"..

Yesterday, driving around a hole in the road, I stopped in another city.

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As soon as a Russian person begins to understand something, he immediately gets drunk.

In the cell, a prisoner named "Raccoon" soon became "Baby Raccoon".

A girl who had had fish all her life cried when the dumplings came up.

Real life is what happens while your phone is charging.

I threw out the trash five times a day until I got the boomerang out of the bucket.

If you look through rose-colored glasses, the blood becomes invisible.

If it hurt to get fat , we'd all be crying around the clock!

I will go to any meanness to prove my decency

After installing the intercom, it turned out that one of their own was pissing in the entrance.

When there was a lot of defective and not high-quality products,then came up with marketing.

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Oh, if I hadn't dropped out of school in 1990, I'd be in the 38th grade right now.

If there is a self-cleaning tablecloth, then there must be a self-cleaning toilet.

As music not sort, and folder "miscellaneous" create will have.

Sometimes you want to pretend to be a budget so that a rich MP will take you to the Maldives.

Taking care of the smartphone screen is simple: I licked it and rubbed it with my sleeve.

Sometimes I go to the library and whisper to people that movies are better.

You should not be afraid of aliens, but of people who have seen them.

Hearing on TV the phrase "bear with the Cossack-ataman will be" little Masha taught her doll
the phrase " bear with the goat, and then you will be a mother"

In response to criticism about her poor performance at school, Masha answered briefly: "all
claims against the manufacturer"

Fantastic creatures and why they don't turn on their turn signals.

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A boy who looks very much like his mother goes to parent-teacher conferences on his own...

The main advantage of fools is numerical

The power of the Apocalypse is only four horsepower.

An Estonian dog barks at thieves when they are already in court.

One of the achievements of modern fashion underwear has become a top

Thanks To The Internet. He showed me that most people in the world are dumber than I am.

According to the news, only Ukraine is freezing in Russia.

As a result of a brilliant, victorious foreign policy, the ring of enemies has narrowed.

The Orthodox rocket should not fly higher than the bell tower.

Jealousy-the suspicion that you are cheating not only on you, but also on you.

- Do you like natural or instant coffee?

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Nastya didn't have any enemies, so she made her own dinner.

If the enemy is invincible, you must find another enemy.